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Moriarty’s DVD Shelf! New Release Tuesday for October 3rd!!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Y’know what the hardest part of this column is each week? Preparing it takes a couple of days, and I’m still trying to juggle other obligations at the same time. If I want this to be up on Monday morning, that’s pretty much an entire Sunday that I have to spend doing it. That’s quality family time, and that seems to be at a premium these days. So if this does end up back on a regular Tuesday schedule, that’s just gonna have to be the way it goes. I don’t have a staff of interns doing layout and other stuff for me. It’s all me. I hope you guys understand. I know the majority of you requested that it be a Monday morning column, but that’s nearly impossible with the demands of family life, and if push comes to shove, time with my family has got to win.
Having said that, I’m still going to try to make Monday happen when I can. I just have to be efficient about the way I put these together, and with that in mind, let’s jump straight in with...
This Week’s Featured Title (10/03)
SOUTH PARK: THE HITS, VOL. 1
Matt Stone and Trey Parker sound more surprised than anyone to be celebrating their tenth anniversary in this sharp, focused collection that features ten episodes that represent the best that the show has had to offer in its decade on the air.
Actually, that’s wrong. It’s not quite ten years yet. But thanks to the way Comedy Central schedules its shows (and particularly its hits), they are smack dab in the middle of their tenth season right now. And in those ten seasons, there are very few sacred cows that have escaped a merciless slaughter at the hands of these two.
I expect that many people will be pleased to see “Trapped In The Closet” included on this disc. It certainly put to rest all the rumors about Viacom burying the episode forever. Looking at it again, I’m still shocked at just how direct a hit they scored on Scientology. I find myself a little uncomfortable with the way people have decided that it’s cool to beat up on Scientology as a faith. I may personally think it’s batshit crazy, but then again, I have my problems with pretty much all organized religion, and I think the moment you make it acceptable to attack people over what they believe, you’re opening the door for all sorts of religious intolerance, and that’s certainly not going to help anyone. On SOUTH PARK, though, I truly believe that the point is that everyone is ripe for satire, and Matt and Trey and the talented folks who help them put the show together each week point out the hypocricies and the insanity that defines us as a culture. They are easily the best working satirists right now, and the most consistent.
When Matt says in the first commentary on the disc “We didn’t really want to do a best of, since we always sort of think our last ten episodes are the best ten we’ve done,” I find it refreshing. These guys have been acclaimed since the moment their show appeared Comedy Central, but they don’t seem to be resting on their laurels at all. In fact, each year it seems to me like the show pushes itself in new directions and tries new things, and they’ve created one of the strangest and funniest cast of characters on TV. If you’re buying every one of the full-season box sets, you probably don’t have to pick this one up, but there are new commentaries for each episode, and it’s a great trip back through the past nine and a half seasons of this landmark series and a nice indication of what we have to look forward to as the show continues.
THE ABBOTT & COSTELLO SHOW: 100th ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION, SEASON TWO
Seems like the season one box just came out a few weeks ago. I still haven’t seen that one, so I can pretty much just repeat verbatim what I said about it then:
The "100th anniversary" that the title of the collection refers to is Lou Costello's birth, not the actual air dates of this show. That'd be a nice trick considering when television began. This is one of the earliest sitcoms, and there's a reason Jerry Seinfeld (among others) still cites it as a major influence. Bud and Lou played unemployed actors living in a boarding house. Hijinks ensued. That's about it.
And that's enough, of course. Abbott and Costello are one of the cornerstones of American comedy for a reason. They were incredibly polished professionals by the time they hit film, and then the TV show was after that, so by this time, they had a lifetime's worth of work to draw on and play with. They knew what their audience expected of them, and they knew how to play to expectation and then also tweak that expectation in very smart ways. If you want to understand their lasting appeal, this would certainly be essential viewing.
ABOMINABLE
CALVAIRE [THE ORDEAL]
LIVE FEED (Unrated)
THE WOODS
Four new horror titles hit shelves this week, and I’m sure the entire point of their release is so that I can add them to the mighty hoard I’ve been stockpiling for this, my favorite month of the year. Yes, it’s time for Horrorthon 2006!!
You have to be in the right mood for Ryan Schifrin’s REAR WINDOW-inspired monster movie, and you have to know going in that it’s a big slice of cheese, but viewed in the right frame of mind, ABOMINABLE is, indeed, fun. The monster is a hoot (yeah, that’s right... a hoot), and when there is gore, it’s so extreme that it’s funny. Besides, with a score by Ryan’s pop Lalo Schifrin and that sweet-ass poster by Drew Struyzan, you can’t go too terribly wrong. If you’ve seen it on Sci-Fi Channel, you haven’t seen it, and genre fans will most likely have fun.
I haven’t seen this one, which Palm Pictures is releasing, but Harry called me after he saw it last month, and he sounded a little rattled by it. He described it as “fucking fucked up,” I believe, and the trailer for the film would certainly support that.
I can honestly say I think “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Ask the pig” is the most disturbing tagline in film history.
And it makes want to see the film right now.
Hmmm... that cover makes me think of something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. It sure does make me hostile when that happens.
Ahem.
It’s about time.
Lucky McKee’s follow-up to his cult hit MAY has taken a long time finding its way to release, and according to most of the reviews I’ve seen for it, that’s a damn shame. I didn’t make it to FanTasia or Fantastic Fest this year, so I missed my chance to see it on the bigscreen. But I think McKee’s got the goods as a filmmaker, and I’m eager to see how he’s grown as a filmmaker. His MASTERS OF HORROR episode wasn’t one of my favorites last year, but that’s mainly because he got so much peanut butter in my chocolate, making more of a romantic lesbian comedy than a horror film. Here, he’s evidently working in Argento mode.
Really... that’s all I need to know.
BODY DOUBLE: SPECIAL EDITION
It amazes me how people in our talkbacks continually refer to this movie as “awful”. I think you’re thinking of something else. Or else I think you’re just wrong. BODY DOUBLE is Brian De Palma at his most playful, and it is hilarious and slick and holds up really well.
I love BODY DOUBLE. Unabashedly and unashamedly. It’s not a guilty pleasure because I don’t feel remotely guilty for admiring it. You have to remember the context of BODY DOUBLE’s release. This was De Palma’s first film since SCARFACE, which most people thought was pretty much the most profane and psychotic film ever released. When BODY DOUBLE was in production, there were rumors that De Palma was making a big-budget porn film. When it was released, it was attacked by critics who said that De Palma had finally gone over the line in his war against women. And through it all, De Palma played everyone. The movie itself is another of De Palma’s Hitchock mix tapes, this time leaning heavily on VERTIGO and REAR WINDOW. The LA porn scene certainly plays a part in the film, but it’s hardly a “big-budget porn film” as rumored at the time. In fact, its version of pornography is so pretty and glossy that it looks positively Victorian when you compare it to the gonzo garbage that is considered pornography now.
Craig Wasson is very funny in the film, and that’s what the haters seem to miss. BODY DOUBLE is funny stuff. Gregg Henry could’t be any better than he is here, chewing the scenery a bit, and Melanie Griffith is both funny and oddly poignant as Holly Body. She’s such a strong character and so real that it makes me wonder how anyone can accuse De Palma of misogyny. This movie is one of De Palma’s most blatant middle fingers to the film industry in general, and it’s a potent poison pill. There are a number of new extra features here, including a full hour of new documentaries, and the transfer is fantastic, the best it’s ever looked on home video. I wish De Palma believed in doing commentary tracks, but even without one, this is a special edition I am thrilled to finally have in my library.
EDMOND
I’ve always thought of EDMOND as a problematic Mamet play, not one of his strongest pieces of work, and I really wasn’t sure what to expect from a Stuart Gordon-helmed adaptation of that play. So imagine my surprise to find myself absolutely riveted by every second of the film, which I recommend in the strongest possible terms.
Fuck FALLING DOWN. I’ve always hated that movie because I think it’s a wish-fulfillment fantasy for assholes who also happen to be total cowards. The movie doesn’t have the courage to be a real social satire, or to attack any sort of sacred cows, although it was always sold that way. It really wants to be this piece about a guy who has finally just had it up to here with all the petty annoyances and the ridiculous bullshit and he just snaps. It isn’t, though, and by the end of it, it’s some soppy melodrama about a guy who lost his job. Whatever.
EDMOND, on the other hand, is the real deal. This is the film about the guy who has taken a lifetime of shit... just like we all have... and who has filed it all away, allowing it to stack up little by little by little, until finally, it is a pebble placed on top of a mountain that causes the landslide that wipes his whole life clean. William Macy is absolutely 100% the right man for this role, and he tears it up. He digs into this with gusto, and the result is one of the most unflinching things he’s ever done. And I say that as a big fan of Macy’s work.
Stuart Gordon is a director I respect, but who I’ve always thought of as workmanlike. He got the job done. Here, cinematographer Denis Maloney (a guy who’s shot around 50 films since 1990, including a lot of no-budget stuff like WITCHCRAFT VI, WITCHCRAFT 7: JUDGEMENT HOUR and WITCHCRAFT 8: SALEM’S GHOST) gives the film an almost hallucinatory glow as Edmond Burke slowly descends from the hell of a mundane life to an entirely different kind of hell, one of his own invention. The way he sees it, once he decides to start living free and telling the truth, it’s the world that goes to hell around him, and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get free of it.
Julia Stiles, Joe Mantegna, Bai Ling, Jeffrey Combs, Denise Richards, Mena Suvari, Dylan Walsh, Rebecca Pidgeon and Bokeem Woodbine are just some of the character actors that fill out the cast to excellent effect. When I was a theater major at Florida State, one of the first major projects I did was about Mamet’s plays, and for the first time, I finally feel like EDMOND works for me. That’s the sign of a great production, when it can change your mind about a piece of writing. And the ending may well be the single most wicked and darkly hilarious endings of the year. Definitely, check this out.
THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO: THE COMPLETE SERIES
Even at its best, this show was just okay. What really made it an iconic relic of its time were a few key images and that theme song. Oh, man, what a theme song. Anyway, I would imagine most fans bought the collections season by season as they were coming out, but if not, then this is the perfect excuse to finally pick up the entire thing at once. It’s pimped out with a cape and an instruction book inside, so I would imagine that the most hardcore fans will pick it up even if they do already have some of this on disc.
HUMPHREY BOGART: THE SIGNATURE COLLECTION, VOL. 1
HUMPHREY BOGART: THE SIGNATURE COLLECTION, VOL. 2
I’m a little surprised to see both of these in the same week from Warner Bros, but let’s look at both of them to see what’s in there.
Am I crazy, or has this one already come out once before? All I know is, I’ve got THEY DRIVE BY NIGHT, HIGH SIERRA, TREASURE OF THE SIERRE MADRE and CASABLANCA in my collection now. They’re in snapper cases, though, so maybe this is a reissue in newer packaging. If you don’t already have these four films, they’re absolutely worth the purchase.
TREASURE is, of course, one of the great films of all time, and many would argue that CASABLANCA is Hollywood at its most Hollywood. The other two films, both little thrillers by Raoul Walsh, are really solid examples of the sort of Hollywood movies I love most. Character dramas, gritty, efficiently written and shot without a lot of fuss. Bogart’s great in all four films, although I’d hardly call THEY DRIVE BY NIGHT “his” movie.
This is the box set of the week, hands down, and maybe even of the month. At least, it is if you like Humphrey Bogart. There are classic movie stars that I find overrated and that I don’t connect to when I watch their work now. Part of it is cultural context. I just don’t relate to them the same way an audience of their contemporaries might. Bogart, on the other hand, remains eternally relevant as far as I am concerned. There’s something about the world-weariness that he brought to his work, and the way he manages to inject a wry humor into his work even in serious roles. Bogart is one of the all-time greats for a reason.
And THE MALTESE FALCON is a big part of that reason. What a great goddamn movie. John Huston’s adaptation of the Dashiell Hammett novel was one of the earliest examples of true noir, and it remains one of the best. This was actually the third time the book was filmed (and now, thanks to the new three-disc version included in this set, you can see the earlier film versions because Warner has made them part of the package), but it’s the first time anyone tapped into what made Hammett’s work so great.
The rest of the films in this particular collection all come from the run of movies Bogart made to follow up the enormous success of FALCON. He reteamed with Huston for ACROSS THE PACIFIC, along with some of the same cast, and the movie they made is a compulsively enjoyable espionage movie. ACTION IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC is big action movie set against the backdrop of impending war, while ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT is actually a comedy caper involving low-level crooks and Nazis in America.
Finally, there’s PASSAGE TO MARSEILLE, which is a blatant attempt to make another CASABLANCA. It’s not, but it’s still got some fun stuff in it, including a veritable who’s-who cast made up of people from all the other movies in these collections, like Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre.
Great stuff, filled with extras as always, and well worth your time if you’re at all a fan of classic Hollywood.
I WAS A TEENAGE MOVIE MAKER: DON GLUT’S AMATEUR MOVIES
This is pretty much the exact opposite of “classic Hollywood,” which is all about the gloss and the glamour. Donald Glut is probably best known to guys my age as the author of the EMPIRE STRIKES BACK novelization.
But he’s part of the era of the proto-fanboys, the guys who were fans when fandom wasn’t easy. These days, all you have to do is fire up Google, type in “Sigmund & The Sea Munsters/Growing Pains slash fiction,” and you’ll immediately find 323,400 fansites dedicated to nothing but. And only one of them belongs to me. Back in the day, though, there were far fewer ways for fans to meet other fans, and as a result, it could be daunting to be the only one you knew who was crazy about werewolf movies or Japanese monsters or whatever. Something like FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND must have felt like a life preserver to those fans because it confirmed that somewhere out there, there were other people just like you.
Donald Glut was well-known in the fan community because he poured all of his love of genre films into the production of amateur films of his own. 41 of them, evidently, all of which are included in this two disc set. I’ve never seen these movies, but when you look at the names that are part of this collection, guys who show up to talk about Glut’s work, it’s obvious he made an impression on people. Forry Ackerman, Bob Burns, Bill Warren... these are the guys who were major cornerstones of fandom, and for them to all turn out to talk about Glut’s work suggests to me that there’s something to it.
I’ll definitely track this one down for a viewing soon, especially after reading this great review for it.
LEWIS BLACK: RED, WHITE, & SCREWED
Lewis Black is a very funny man. Like most comedians, you’ll know about five minutes into his act if he’s going to make you laugh or not. Black is all about attitude and delivery. His material is sharp, but it’s not really a reinvention of the art form or anything.
What makes Lewis Black so interesting as a performer to me is the way he delivers fairly smart material while seeming to be a complete fucking lunatic, barely able to control his personal ticks long enough to deliver his routine. It’s obvious he puts on the deranged, but it’s a great character hook for a comedian, and it serves him well here in a relaxed, confident monologue piece. This is longer than the version that aired on HBO by about fifteen minutes or so, and with Black, every minute really does count. Good stuff.
THE LITTLE MERMAID: PLATINUM EDITION
This was it... the moment where Disney rediscovered its voice as an animation studio.
And finally, there’s a DVD that pays due tribute to just how remarkable that moment was, and just how important for the entire studio. I’ve just barely begun to dig into the impressive special features, but what’s obvious is that they know full well that this was the movie where the second Golden Age of Disney began. From LITTLE MERMAID through LION KING, they could do no wrong, and it was because they followed the template that was laid down with this film.
There were several major influences on the film, and it’s to the credit of the people who put this disc together that proper due is given to Jeffrey Katzenberg, among many others. There’s a frank and bracingly honest commentary track by John Musker and Ron Clements with Alan Menken. There are deleted scenes and filmmaker explanations. There’s a making of documentary, a separate feature about the special effects, a big deal as this was during the integration of computers into the animation process, a tricky thing at the time. There’s a nice short film called THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL, a more faithful Andersen adaptation. There’s an early presentation reel, lots of reproduced artwork, a song demo for a number that never made the movie, and, most interestingly, a lot of material regarding a LITTLE MERMAID ride that almost happened, including a virtual ride-through that is pretty damn cool.
My only issue with any of this is that I never really liked THE LITTLE MERMAID. I think there’s one song that is magic in the film (“Kiss The Girl”), and a couple of other catchy numbers, but I think the script is wafer-thin and more functional than entertaining, and I think the film as a whole is Teflon. Nothing sticks to you when you watch it. It’s instantly forgettable save for those few high points. I can see why it clicked, though, and I am fascinated by it as the necessary step that led to ALADDIN and BEAUTY & THE BEAST. And for the hardcore fans that are out there (and I know there are bajillions of you), you’ll flip for this disc, which is the best-looking presentation of it I’ve ever seen. I actually think it’s sharper now than it was in the theater, so enjoy.
PENN & TELLER: BULLSHIT – THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON
This is a show of simple pleasures. Magicians/comedians/professional debunkers Penn & Teller host a show that questions... well... absolutely everything. And these days, with the media being wielded as the potent propaganda weapon that it can be by every crank with a cause, that’s a healthy attitude.
This season has one of my personal favorite episodes, the one on “Circumcision.” This half-hour debate led me to seriously contemplate what to do for my son, and it led me to research something that might otherwise have been an automatic decision. I think we go through life making a lot of those, doing things because “that’s what you do.” Whenever I realize I’m doing that, I try to step back and seriously examine the issue at hand. A show like this, if you watch it with an open mind, can help spur that sort of careful consideration. In the end, the show didn’t change my mind at all about the basic issue of circumcision, but at least I know now why I believe what I do. There are also episodes this season on “Family Values,” “Conspiracy Theories,” “Life Coaching,” “Holier Than Thou,” “College,” “Big Brother,” “Hair,” “Gun Control,” “Ghost Busters,” “Endangered Species,” “Signs From Heaven,” And “The Best,” which explores the need that people feel to have the absolute most state-of-the-art bit of technology at all times, and the way that can turn into what almost seems like techno-OCD.
RETURN TO THE PLANET OF THE APES: THE COMPLETE ANIMATED SERIES
I can’t remotely defend this as great television, or even a great part of the APES franchise, but I am fascinated by it, and it actually does a nice job of filling in details about the world that the film series never could. It’s a little closer to the original Pierre Boulle novel in the way it imagines the society. I wish the animation on the show was better. Like most ‘70s TV animation, it’s pretty much garbage. But it’s well-written, and it’s actually a pretty sophisticated bit of serialized storytelling. Just as it revs up towards the end of the 13-episode order, it comes to a close.
I bought the giant collector’s edition Ape head last year pictured here:
And these 13-episodes were included there. I thought the overall picture quality was fairly shitty. I’d be willing to bet that no money was spent on restoration or clean-up. These are probably the best prints Fox was able to turn up without doing any work to them, and I don’t believe they’ve done any sort of additional work since that release. Even so, for fans of the overall franchise and for anyone who loves SF on television, particularly from the ‘70s, this is essential.
SUPER INFRAMAN
One of my favorite theatergoing experiences in LA was the night a bunch of friends and I met at the Egyptian for a late-night screening of the 1975 INFRAMAN, starring Danny Lee and Terry Liu. If you’ve ever seen ULTRAMAN, it’s sort of like that, but not exactly. And if you know who Jet Jaguar is, he’s sort of like that, but not quite. If you’re a fan of Japanese action fantasy, you will absolutely flip for this. Of course, if you’re a fan of Japanese action fantasy, you’ve probably already seen this. I’m dying to see the print and see how it is on this new release from Image Entertainment. The one I saw in the theater was surprisingly great, and this is a fun, colorful, crazy piece of pop candy when you see it the way it should look.
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
Here’s one of those films that I knew I’d catch up with even as I missed screening after screening earlier this year. I’ve heard nothing but good things about Jason Reitman’s debut feature, but it was just one of those cases where fate conspired to keep me from seeing it until now. When it shows up, it’s going to make it into my player right away. I’m a huge fan of the Christopher Buckley novel it’s based on, and remember when my hardcover said, “Soon to be a film by Mel Gibson” inside.
The world of lobbying is ripe for satire, and I hope the film maintains the same barely restrained fury that made the book’s comedy so cutting. Aaron Eckhart’s a great choice for the role of Nick, the charismatic but almost completely amoral lead, and the supporting cast looks to be filled out with some great players. Now that we’re starting to get close to the end of the year, it’s time for me to get caught up, and this is definitely one of the films that’s on my list.
THE VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL
Dear Staff of VICE,
Last week, you wrote to me and told me you were sending me a copy of your new DVD, THE VICE GUIDE TO TRAVEL. You didn’t ask for my new unpublished address. You just sent it. And now that I’ve seen your DVD and I’ve seen just how fucking crazy all of you are, I feel obligated to give your disc a good review in the hopes that you do not come to my address and kick the silly shit out of me.
I’ll confess up front that I’m not familiar with your magazine. But this did not stop me from thoroughly enjoying the seven short documentaries that are included here, as well as the gorgeous 68 page hardbound book that comes with the disc. Basically, the purpose of this project was to send correspondents to corners of the Earth so insane that no one else would ever want to go there. “We went so you never ever have to go for yourself as long as you live.” Fair enough. So how dangerous is this stuff really? I mean, if you sent a person there with a camera, how dangerous can it be?
Hunting mutant boars and wolves in Chernobyl should give you an idea just how high the bar is set in this collection. There’s a remarkable trip into the favelas of Rio and a stop in Beirut. For my money, the best thing on the disc takes place in the Congo, where David Choe goes in search of a dinosaur, only to end up an unwitting participant in a powerful hallucinogenic ritual.
When I say “short,” that’s what I mean. These films each run about seven or eight minutes. I wish they were a full hour each, because I have a feeling they’d be pretty amazing, especially when you read the corresponding chapters about each film in the book. This isn’t just some cheap set of liner notes... this is a really well-written collection, filled with fascinating material.
There’s a fair sampling of deleted scenes and extra material, and I would say this is absolutely worth picking up for adventurous viewers who aren’t too adventurous. This seems to prove that it’s great fun going to the most hellish places on earth as long as you’ve got a pause button handy.
So to close... loved the disc. Please don't hurt me. You guys are fucking crazy.
Sincerely,
Moriarty
X3: X-MEN – THE LAST STAND
I liked it a lot. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than it has any right to be.
The disc is evidently packed with extras. I wouldn’t know. I’ll pick it up later this week, and I genuinely look forward to seeing it again.
DOUBLE-DIP TIP(S) OF THE WEEK
I think I’m going to try to segregate the triple-dips to this little section at the end of the column from now on. Makes things easier, and basically it all boils down to “Skip it” or “Worth the upgrade.”
LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS: LOCKED’N’LOADED DIRECTOR’S CUT
If a shittier transfer, 12 extra minutes of inconsequential material, and far fewer extra features are what you’re looking for, then this is the disc for you!
Otherwise, skip it and keep the old 2003 release.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: EXTRAORDINARILY DELUXE TWO-DISC EDITION
Oh, man, if only Columbia would repackage HOLY GRAIL for the 73rd time without actually improving the transfer or the supplemental features, and this time try to sell me on seeing SPAMALOT. That would rule.
Oh, that’s what this is? Lovely. Skip it.
POINT BREAK: PURE ADRENALINE EDITION
Released once before in 2001, this is a new anamorphic transfer, and there are deleted scenes and featurettes here that have never been included before. I’m not a giant fan of the film. It’s too silly for me. But if you dig it, I’m willing to be this is worth the upgrade.
SCARFACE: PLATINUM EDITION
For years, this has been one of those titles that I know every newly-rich young Hollywood guy or rap star buys to use as a demo disc for their home theater. You want to show off what your sub-woofer can handle? It would make sense that the final shoot-out in this film would be the scene to do it with. But this was made in the early 80s, and the soundtrack is, by today’s standards, less than impressive. So it makes sense that Universal saw an opportunity to put out a disc that would finally give all those home-theater owners exactly what they’ve always wanted: a tricked out SCARFACE that can kill a speaker dead.
This is the version that played theaters in 2003, the soundtrack that fucking assaults you. Whether you play the DTS track or the Dolby Digital track, you’re going to get a great-sounding update that also manages to preserve the integrity of the film’s original mix. This isn’t just a wholesale replacement of what’s come before; it’s a recreation that simply fills the film’s sonic landscape out to greater effect.
Worth the upgrade if you’ve got the sound equipment to take advantage of it. If not, don’t bother.
THE THREE STOOGES: STOOGES ON THE RUN
Please, Columbia... stop it. Stop releasing half-hearted repackaging of the same 20 or so Stooges films and charging outrageous prices for colorized shit. Stop. It’s disgraceful. Either start putting these out in chronological collections and let Stooges fans have all the films, including Shemp films and Joe Besser films and whatever else there is in the vault, or just stop it. You’ve stolen money from the fans over and over with insanely substandard releases, and at this point, it’s more than an insult. It’s an outright affront.
Fuck you, Columbia. A lot. Skip it.
So there we go. Another week, another column. I’ve got to get through a ridiculous amount of stuff this week, including reviews for LITTLE CHILDREN, SHORTBUS, DELIVER US FROM EVIL and JESUS CAMP, and THE DEPARTED, as well as an interview with John Cameron Mitchell and those set reports that I promised you this week. I’m seeing four films tomorrow, and this Friday, I may be visiting the set of one of the biggest films shooting at the moment. Lots to do, and time is short as always, so for now...
"Moriarty" out.
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Xmen... hmmm... Scareface maybe.... The rest seems lame.
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yay little mermaid soo sweet
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if it had the original pen!s cover like the OG poster.
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rappers need to stop talking about how good scarface is cause right now I think it is one of the most over rated movies ever not saying that it's bad just it's not good as some people claim it is
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The deleted scenes I hear are great and 3! alternate endings!Cant Wait.
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The store doesn't open for 3 more hours.
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The fanboy in me wanted to buy XMen: The Last Stand today, but Circuit City has each Arrested Development season on sale for $17.99.
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I promise the last time I mention it. A shame I won't get to hear your opinion on the new transfer but I was always going to get it. As for this weeks releases I really should get hold of Casablanca and Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Nice to see the little mermaid getting a decent release as it does mark the moment when disney started to not suck anymore. A real shame they stopped doing 2d animation although an even bigger shame they stopped doing good animated movies. Thankyou for not smoking was as good as i'd hoped it would be definately have to get hold of it at some point.
Ah yes X-men 3 what bodily fluids shall i compare you to this week, hmmm wonder what the deleted scenes are maybe WE GET TO SEE THE FUCKING PHOENIX!!!!, Maybe they'll include cyclops or the sentinels or anyone of a thousand things that would mean this movie doesn't suck. God so many ways that movie was a pile of steaming shit but if i start ranting i'll end up stretching this talkback like the enourmous turd this movie was.
Lock stock - there's a movie that was screaming out for a directors cut uber edition... oh wait no it wasn't, a clearer example of pointless additions i can't think of. Good film just don't see the point of fiddling with it. -
please switch this column to tuesdays. Nobody wants you to stop spending time with your family so they can hear about new DVDs one day earlier. Oh, and X3 would have been a great movie, if I was a lobotimized mongoloid.
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as is X-Men 3.
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X-men 3 is entertaining if your insane.. and retarded and deaf, blind and have never seen any good films
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For the most part, old Mori is a decent reviewer and certainly makes the most of each and every post...but one thing I've noticed and really wanted to just say... I really, really believe that subconsciously he feels that he's always 'right' and when he doesn't like something, it's other peoples' faults for liking it. I constantly feel like I'm being 'educated' about why everything I loved so much was really bad all along... it's actually kind of a turn-off, and really reveals a slim myopic view of how things 'ought to be'. All the best wishes, naturally...but I just wanted to say that.
PLUS...I LOVED Falling Down. For me, it was absolutely great. "It's great for stompin' QUEEEEEEEEEERS!". Love it! -
Didn't I see an ad for this that mentioned it includes the original "Spirit of Christmas"?
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... not at all. I'm just acknowledging that even though I don't like something, there are often huge followings for some things. I don't look down at anyone for enjoying anything. All I can ever write about is how I personally react. Please don't think I'm ever telling you what you have to think to be right. I kid sometimes, but it's only kidding.
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what happened to the review of seven samurai? you mentioned a few weeks ago you'd write an extended review and it has yet to show. Don't want to be a pest and appreciate you have a lot of stuff going on but was curious to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks
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I won't pay for Shemp or Joe! I was raised right! But seriously, how much bank would they pull if they'd just do a decent boxset for Curly? The people want Curly!
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...even if just because two of the Red Hot Chili Peppers are in it, and Gary Busey tells Keanau that he's "young, dumb, and full of come."
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thanks for stickin up for us stooge-heads, yo.
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Still, it was slightly better than SR.
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for spending time with your family. The kids grow up too fast - trust me on this one.
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No it isn't porn. Interesting little flick about tallying up lifes petty annoyances and trying to get even. I thought of it when Mori mentioned Edmond...
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for spending time with your family. The kids grow up too fast - trust me on this one.
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...always end at Lion King? Pocahontas and (especially) The Hunchback Of Notre Dame are both grossly underrated. Hercules is terrific fun. Mulan and Tarzan have some crappy songs, but are generally quite entertaining. It wasn't until Dinosaur and Atlantis that Disney's animation division started to crap out creatively. And as for Mermaid, the film is noteworthy for another reason...it features the first of the SUPER-SEXY modern-day Disney babes, Ariel. There's a good reason why there was a penis hidden on the first VHS cover, you know. ;o)
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It looks choppy and not well thought out...just like the movie itself.
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Well Mori...I really want to be as respectful as possible...because you DO unloads lots of quality content here, and you're certainly among the more talented writers here.... but I really have to agree with what I originally wrote. If you just stated your opinion and left it at that...that's one thing. But time after time you go out of your way to attack and disembowel something 'popular' that you didn't like... but you do it by trying to prove how bad it was. Your mini-description of Falling Down is a perfect example of that... how it failed, how it didn't get it's own message right, etc. It's obvious you didn't care for it, and that's perfectly FINE. But you do seem to go out of your way to attack the popular notions at times. You've attacked movies like Crash and Million Dollar Baby like this... pointing out your perceived flaws while pointing to 'superior' examples... not an attack buddy...I think a lot of internet critics do this... but it's not classy, and takes the joy out of the entire experience. Don't buckle down or change cuz I or anyone else thinks this way... but there's an ocean of difference between being critical and a trifle pompous. You don't have to approach every nitpick as though you're either retaliating or defending against an attack... it takes away some of the movie magic. To be fair, this is why I love old Roger Ebert...the guy loves tits.
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That is just REALLY bad. It is almost like some executive with a little photoshop experience decided to save some money and design the artwork himself. Really bad cover.
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The beauty of covers these days is that you can find better ones online to download and print everywhere. Some covers, like Serenity, demand this.
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Moriarty, do you only review DVD's that are mass-released each Tuesday, or will you also take a look at ones that have distribution, but which aren't readily-available aside from Amazon?
http://tinyurl.com/qfkrn -
He's made "better" films -- Blow Out, Carrie, Untouchables, Carlito's Way -- but nothing else he's made so perfectly synthesizes his Hitchcock fetish with a completely up-yours sense of humor. Moriarty is right, the film is more of a comedy than anything else. Apparently it's too much for the ape cage to grasp... in which case, feel free to waste your time with that X-Men malarkey.
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No. We'll just have to agree to disagree on that one. I really really really want that Bogie Volume 2 set. And maybe the South Park one. "Wait...so I'm the bad guy here?"
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I think it's the happy blue sky and fluffy white clouds that's off-putting.
If Bob Ross weren't in the ground I'd swear he designed it. -
Yeah, Mori, that's what we want. Joe Besser shorts. You sir, are obviously not a Stooge fan.
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Weren't you promising that last week? See, that's my problem with this site (as much as one can have a problem with something free that one doesn't have to look at). But hey, last I checked the name of the site was Ain't It Cool News. What, exactly, is cool about a review of a film that comes out in three days and has been reviewed by people all over the Internet? And it's not like you guys don't have the opportunities for scoops. You get invited to film sets and get early previews of films. But then what do you do? You sit on them. You take two weeks to write a few simple paragraphs. And by the time you're done, we don't even care anymore. Because we've already read about the film ad nauseum. All I'm saying is, if I had access to all the early screenings you guys do, I'd do a hell of a lot better job of including my readers.
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Is that movie any good?
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It's a great movie. And it was one of the first to use those seemingly unrelated stories that eventually end up connecting. So, in some ways, we have LSATSB to "thank" for Crash.
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The gay Stooge who didn't like to be hit. Pussy!
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Simple - It would be my unhealthy obsession with red headed cartoon cuties. Ariel was adorable (loved whoever the voice artist is)..... And don't get me started on Kim Possible!
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The highlight is the poker scene. Then it goes downhill from there. The direction is OK but the acting is terrible. Snatch is Guy Ritchies only decent effort. And he is married to a hag.
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reviews and I think I'm gonna pick up "I was a Teenage movie Maker." I never would have heard of it if it weren't for you.Thanks. Now why don't you write a Big Screen Thundaar the Barbarian movie?
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do a spoof on the Muslim religion. Even though it's a "religion of peace", it would really take some brass cajones to take it on! And, Moriarty, how many times do I have to hear about your aversion to organized religion? I guess as often as I read your posts. Keep up the good work. God bless you.
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Lock Stock is derivative cock made by some posh brain donor who wants to be a working class hard man. It's also responsible for launching Vinnie Jones acting career. If it still seems tempting why not see the remake "Snatch"?
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If you want to see Britsh crime films with substance see the original Get Carter, The Long Good Friday, and Neil Jordan's Mona Lisa.
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the dvds aren't going anywhere, they'll be here next week, and before you know it, you'll be in an old folk's home, so spend time with the family before they throw you in there. and most people don't get paid till wednesday anyway.
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Only 12 year old kids think that it's cool or a shocking satire!
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that is all
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The forgotten 6th Stooge
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Not the shorts. So, technically, he doesn't count.
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"Pocohontas" was utterly worthless, but "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" is probably the best animated feature that Disney's ever produced. It's gorgeous, it's dark, the songs are haunting and the voice acting is impeccable. I personally think the most underrated Disney feature is "The Emperor's New Groove," which is generally considered a lesser effort, but it had me in stitches, and it holds up well to repeat viewings. / / / Mori, I agree that it's uncool for people to wantonly attack Scientology (or any religion), but it's only fair, really. Christianity is routinely mocked as a matter of course on television, in films, and in music. So far only Matt and Trey seem willing to give Islam the same treatment.
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I'm sorry but am I the only one that thought Thank You For Smoking sucked? I mean it would have succeeded as a dark satire and condemnation of the tobacco industry and Washington lobbyists but in the end it does the exact opposite. It seems to glorify the two in my opinion. Even making the guy come out a hero. I found it offensive. The one positive was the way they successfully took a jab at Hollywood. Rob Lowe's prententious pseudo-spiritual Asian bullshit artist/movie producer was hysterical. But other than that the movie failed in my opinion.
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Falling Down was great! Respectfully disagree Moriarty.
"How's your burger, Maam?"
(Reeeetttcccchhh)
"I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick." -
...where the moral of the story is: Go ahead and disobey your dad and get involved with evil witches to get what you want, cuz, you know, it'll all work out in the end.
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It starts strongly but starts fading strong by the middle and the less said about the end, the better. Interestingly, Thank You for Smoking also fades at the end. However, TYFS had done enough by that point to be a success. How you think TYFS has a bad message but Falling Downs racism/stalker/abusive husband is OK is beyond me... Just my opinion.
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Oct 03, 2006 12:00:30 PM CDT
How come I've always had a crush on The Little Mermaid?
by orionsangels
I'm not attracted to any cartoon characters. Except her. I remember seeing it in theaters in 89 and I started to blush whenever she smiled. It's so strange. She's not even real.
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Oct 03, 2006 12:03:38 PM CDT
Ah Point Break = Keanu's worst acting performance ever!
by orionsangels
and believe you me he's done some bad acting. He's so bad delivering lines in Point Break that it almost makes his role in Dracula seem Oscar Worthy.
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I can tell you why Moriarty. Because it was written specifically for someone besides you. Case in point, my little girl (she's 5). Ariel is my daughter's absolute favorite of all of the Disney princesses, and the story is basically about finding true love and that's what most little girls are into. In the story she finds and marries a handsome prince right? What more does a little girl need to know? If you want a Matrix style plotline I suggest you watch something geared more for adults.
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It doesn't have the courage of its convictions. It starts out with a portrayal of a seemingly every-man who exhibits this (admittedly unsavory)attitude towards just about every ethnic group, but then backs down by telling us he has a history of mental illness, exacerbated by his firing. It would have been much more challenging (and would have required much more sophisticated film making) if it were about a "regular" guy (sans mental illness) who develops these feelings. Oh, and X3, while not the complete turd some have made it out to be, is not even in the same league as the great SR.
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I really look forward to your DVD release column.
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and I think most people are fine with checking it out on tuesday before we wander to the store...
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It's true. I had a fling with the girl they used as the live-action model for Ariel. I can't watch that movie without getting wood. Is that wrong? ...I'm sorry, I had to tell someone.
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Besides that, it's also the best movie Disney ever made IMO.
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Anyone, and I mean anyone, who enjoyed this watered down piece of cinematic pap smear should be kicked in the face and shoved down a garbage chute.Stupidest fucking scene in a film, next to the Bronto stampede in Kong, is the "Movin' the Golden Gate Bridge" scene. Gee, let's blow ALL our budget on a dumb fucking pointless scene instead of actually making Jean DO SOMETHING.This movie was the biggest cinematic McDonalds Cheeseburger ever. Delivered to the lickspittle masses who wouldn't know quality if it kissed them on the mouth and sat on their face.OH and let's not forget the massive fight between Colossus and Juggernaut...OH WAIT, there WASN'T ONE. Let's have Juggernaut fight Kitty fucking Pride instead! YEAH!You know what, there's too many atrocities with this fucking pile of shit to go into anymore, I hope Ratner gets hit with the same case of Herpes Simplex C that is headed towards Bay for fucking Transformers in the ass.Shove this DVD release right up the collective asses of all those fucktards that loved it.
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If his story is true.
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I have to disagree with you and other about Falling Down. I found it to be an effective indictment of American society in general. gang violence, fast food chains, banks that don't give out loans to those who actually need them, rich assholes taking up the best land for fucking golf courses, kids who can operate bazookas, etc. It's a case study in white male paranoia that shows not only how a man's distorted view and desperation leads him to violence, but also condemns the society that created him in the first place.
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LOL, it's true. Her initials are SS and you can find her in the end credits. Unfortunately I'm in the film business and so far that's my best claim to fame! Oh well, I'll take it. That and I broke up a fight between Rosie O'Donnell and Mike Chiklis in college, ha ha. (I think Ro woulda' won) But honestly, the animators did an amazing job capturing her face, her every expression, absolutely perfectly - the resemblance is uncanny. And of course, I'm biased, but I do think she is the sexiest cutest Disney heroine they've ever had. Plus, the music is great, the romance really effective, and you can just feel the studio getting its animation mojo back again. I always felt "Beauty & The Beast" got the (delayed) attention that TLM should have gotten. "The Lion King" is the only other Disney film that rivals it, for me.
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But what it actually delivers falls well short of that. Guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
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I like this column, simply because it collects all new releases in one place, so I know what I can buy if I feel like it that week. That being said, it is seriously getting insufferable; all Moriarty does in his opening para is complain about how busy it is and how tough it is to put this thing out. Why do AICN'ers constantly need to remind how difficult this job is for them. It's ridiculous. And then, at the end of the column he ALWAYS gives a run down of shit HE'S WORKING ON. Dude - just put it on the site. Especially since half the time it never gets done (Apocolypse Now extended review, Seven Samurai, Playtime...the list goes on).
Just do it, and quit bitching. -
According to IMDB you should ;-) http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0832300/
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At least this one is in color and not some lame photoshopped and holofoiled monstrosity of years past.
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full-fledged? Or are they the mini ones like on the season sets?Matt and Trey always say that we fans probably wouldn't want to listen to them for a full episode. They're wrong.
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I know, but they didn't really use her the same way that time. Belle doesn't look like her.
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Is it worth it to get the new one? What are the new features? I love that movie, maybe my favorite by De Palma
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The Body Double special edition has four feaurettes on it, that basically are the typical featurettes you'd find, not to say that they're not good. Comedy Central's site says that the DVD DOES have the Spirit of Christmas short, and the new commentaries are in fact mini-commentaries. I'm pretty against "Best Of" discs, but this South Park one is fantastic, to include AWESOME-O, Casa Bonita, and Scott Tenorman Must Die in the same set is wonderful. The "Vol. 1" is a little discouraging through, as these ARE the best episodes. "Vol. 2", "Vol. 3", etc. will just be more and more inferior.
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http://tinyurl.com/h9dsc
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and it actually contains 15 episodes...not 10.
15 GOOD episodes...you know, hits. -
FGTH...Body Double.
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i was trying to think of something to write about how much x3 sucked but you got it covered. ive never been so bored in a movie.
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disney was on the cutting edge with little mermaid. what a great social commentary they had with the priest getting a boner during the wedding scene. although it might have been more striking if it was a male and the male was 10 years old. but still. kudos to walt disney's frozen head. hes still got it!
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Just thought I'd note that there was no intentional penis on the cover of The Little Mermaid...
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/mermaid.htm
And the priest did not have an erection...
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/minister.htm
That's all. -
How DARE you. HOW-DARE-YOU. ALL of the somgs are fantastic. ALL-OF-THEM. Compare any one of those songs to ANYTHING that's played in any animated film today. The animation in the film is great as well. God damn you, Moriarty. God-damn-you. You probably like THE BLACK CAULDON. Oooooooooh! Its DARK!!! You better show your child THE LITTLE MERMAID, Moriarty. If you don't, you're a ...a ...RACIST. That's right. A RACIST. Is that the kind of father you want to be? Shame on you.
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... my little boy sat through a chunk of LITTLE MERMAID the other day with me and his grandmother, but he's not really much for films yet.
And I'm not of the opinion that my son has to like what I do. I'll make things available for him, and what he likes, he likes. If he one day decided that his favorite film was Tarsem's THE CELL, I'd smile and encourage him to articulate why he enjoys it, but I'd never tell him he's wrong for liking it.
He'll get his USRDA of Disney, I'm sure. -
i remmemmber nights where i'd just watch any of his films and just be entranced in those worlds, unbelievable experiences. i gotta say that the 30s,40s,50s are undoubtedly the peak of cinema for me.
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i expect the sequel to better though not as good as the dark knight.
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funniest fucking thing I've read on teh intarweb today. she's tolerable in EDMOND, though, and the film is fucking great.
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... reminds me of Fred Phelps rants against homosexuals.
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thank you.
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And for that I'll give "Edmond" a go.
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And for that I'll give "Edmond" a try.
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Erm, apart from Die Hard. Oh, and about 10 other movies. Sorry Thunderballs, you are so far away from correct that it looks like you might be correct, but only because you have been lapped. 5 times.
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Just saw it last night. Compared to the 2nd it was an utter failure and it is the worst of the trilogy. I agree the Golden Gate bridge move is a big and pointless waste of budget. I liked how they started in daylight and when Magneto and crew arrive it is now dark. Of course bridge or no bridge, it's a long walk across the Bay.
It is not a good movie but compared to what I was expecting it came out ok. Ratner is a completely average director though. He has no style at all. The scene at Jean's house should have been massive and instead I found myself wondering why the hell he chose camera angles that made everything look fake (the levitating house). There were way too many plots and not enough time given to any of them. The dialogue was REALLY bad. The only actor that came out relatively unscathed was Ian McKellen and that's just because it's Ian McKellen. Patrick Stewart looked adrift, Wolverine was reduced to Roger Moore era Bond quips, and Jean Grey/Phoenix was give nothing to do until the last 5 minutes. Famke Jansen had what, 10 lines of dialogue maybe? I also don't know how the death/removal of that many characters could feel so unimportant and unmoving but Ratner pulled it off. Is he doing the Wolverine movie too? If so, woo hoo, can't wait.
oh yeah, and Hunchback is a great movie. 2nd only to Lion King for the Disney renaissance movies. -
i know Mori couldn't care less (i've tried to tip him off), but "point break 2" goes into production next year. CAN'T WAIT! long overdue. it'll put that shameless ripoff, "fast...furious", to shame.
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2.6 million dvds sold so far this week (and this is only Thursday). I know that won't change any of your hatin' minds, but I at least get to say it again... 2.6 million dvds sold so far this week... and it's only Thursday.
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I read every edition, and let me tell you, these mutherfuckers are not kidding.
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I am more than likely in the minority BUT was checking out the deleted scenes (like Dark Phoenix & the fight outand I loved them. I wonder if there any plans to release a director's cut considering how successful the movie and the DVD release have been so far. If not, THERE SHOULD BE!
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"Falling Down" was a piece of crap when it came out and hasn't aged well. Wish fullfilment for militia members without any self-awareness. "Body Double" is typical DePalma, flawed but interesting. "X-Men 3".....well, I do agree with Harry's complaint's about the movie. But considering what it was, a mass-market movie not catering to the comic fans...it wasn't horrible. That's the best I can say about it. So I would have to give Mori a 3 for 3 on those.
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...wasn't aware who directed "Falling Down". Joel F**king Schumacher. Anything else need to be said?
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Thinking about "Falling Down" and having recently seen "Crash" reminds me of a movie that still haunts me from twenty years ago, Kasdan's "Grand Canyon". Only "Crash" had the audience feel that "oh crap, something BAD is going to happen any second" sensation for virtually the entire movie.
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