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Uwe SMASH!!


Merrick here...


Longtime AICN readers may recall uber schlockmeister Uwe Boll’s challenge to legions of his Internet-based detractors. The short of it is: he threw down the gauntlet to get some of his staunches critics into the boxing ring.

The thing is: Boll has a boxing background…which most folks don’t…so the affair was destined to be dicey at best. Nonetheless, four courageous souls faced their fear and met their bane. The odds were against them and the situation was grim. Still, they went onward.

AICN contributor & longtime Boll detractor Jeff Sneider was among the warriors who rode out to face The King of the Hacks . A noble and just cause – fought for all of us with the dream that we, our loved ones, and our children may someday know a world free of Boll’s filmmaking . Despite such noble intent, he came back hoping he didn’t have “a concussion or internal bleeding”, and says, “Uwe was impressed - but not enough to cancel plans for BLOODRAYNE 2”.

Let us take a moment to acknowledge those who championed quality (or at least the lack of shittyosity) for Geeks everywhere. There names were Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka from SomethingAwful, Chris Alexander from reumorguemagazine, and Nelson Chance Minter (a website critic). And, of course, Jeff.

They fell, but lived to fight another day. Remember them well.

Here’s the fight!





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gonads
by alex138
Sep 25th, 2006
01:29:27 PM
FIRST!!!
by RainesMaker
Sep 25th, 2006
01:29:41 PM
Where is Juggfuckler when you need him?
by brycemonkey
Sep 25th, 2006
01:30:16 PM
i could beat his ass
by JeanLuc Dickhard
Sep 25th, 2006
01:30:59 PM
dude!
by Jason Eisener
Sep 25th, 2006
01:33:20 PM
JeanLuc Dickhard
by Kraken
Sep 25th, 2006
01:34:24 PM
Jeff got Juggfuckled!
by brycemonkey
Sep 25th, 2006
01:35:01 PM
I love that this is Uwe's last resort.
by Kraken
Sep 25th, 2006
01:37:42 PM
Yeah! Go Uwe!
by DerLanghaarige
Sep 25th, 2006
01:38:52 PM
I heard...
by Ace Hunter
Sep 25th, 2006
01:43:17 PM
"Hi, my name is You-ool.
by georges garvaren
Sep 25th, 2006
01:44:33 PM
HOLY SHIT! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME
by future help
Sep 25th, 2006
01:44:51 PM
I was scared for a second there,
by quadrupletree
Sep 25th, 2006
01:45:18 PM
Staged tournament
by viranth
Sep 25th, 2006
01:45:53 PM
So he won?
by Goatboy
Sep 25th, 2006
01:48:44 PM
Ok, I am in no ways doing the typical internet shittalk
by Lando Griffin
Sep 25th, 2006
01:50:26 PM
Bag of Douche
by infamousralf
Sep 25th, 2006
01:50:36 PM
It was a stunt to prove what.....
by tile_mcgillus
Sep 25th, 2006
01:51:29 PM
Lowtax...
by SilentP
Sep 25th, 2006
02:00:31 PM
Who cares about Uwe Boll?
by crackerfarmboy
Sep 25th, 2006
02:01:01 PM
Uwe Boll's the biggest fucking n00b in the world
by GiLL
Sep 25th, 2006
02:01:59 PM
heh.
by GiLL
Sep 25th, 2006
02:04:10 PM
There was also a weight limit on his offer
by Kraken
Sep 25th, 2006
02:05:00 PM
doesn't boxing involve actually punching?
by eighteenseconds
Sep 25th, 2006
02:05:28 PM
Forget Uwe Boll. Dakota Fanning could kick his ass.
by Garbageman33
Sep 25th, 2006
02:07:40 PM
the other fight not shown here
by GiLL
Sep 25th, 2006
02:10:33 PM
Lowtax's comments on fight
by Vesty
Sep 25th, 2006
02:13:57 PM
Why Uwe Boll is dangerous to fans. re: crackerfarmboy
by Kraken
Sep 25th, 2006
02:18:34 PM
All he has done is validate everything
by jackinitraw
Sep 25th, 2006
02:18:42 PM
i don't get you guys (writers/critics)
by GiLL
Sep 25th, 2006
02:19:44 PM
Vesty
by jackinitraw
Sep 25th, 2006
02:29:30 PM
Uwe ought to reissue this challenge
by GiLL
Sep 25th, 2006
02:36:24 PM
Hes like a bad movie terrorist
by godzillasushi
Sep 25th, 2006
02:43:53 PM
Why not a filmmaking competition?
by Sinisterjim
Sep 25th, 2006
02:49:33 PM
No one thought to slide a roll of nickels...
by Childe Roland
Sep 25th, 2006
02:50:41 PM
Why not a filmmaking challenge?
by Sinisterjim
Sep 25th, 2006
02:54:23 PM
kraken
by Cory849
Sep 25th, 2006
03:00:31 PM
Fight Night Round 3 needs Boll
by scrivener
Sep 25th, 2006
03:04:29 PM
You should have sent SEANBABY !
by Squashua
Sep 25th, 2006
03:08:33 PM
Poor Kyanka
by Staldo
Sep 25th, 2006
03:09:07 PM
So what this proves is that...
by stlfilmwire
Sep 25th, 2006
03:15:31 PM
uwe couldn't cut it as a boxer
by Bob C. Cock
Sep 25th, 2006
03:23:29 PM
this is old
by WolfmanNards
Sep 25th, 2006
03:26:09 PM
The funnier part
by pravda
Sep 25th, 2006
03:32:24 PM
Gill is right on.
by Uncapie
Sep 25th, 2006
03:47:07 PM
remeniscent of the Spartans' battle of the 300
by slder78
Sep 25th, 2006
03:51:12 PM
BroncoFan needs to fight Uwe Boll!!
by Ribbons
Sep 25th, 2006
03:59:28 PM
Give Me a Break, Critics
by trillerillion
Sep 25th, 2006
04:08:28 PM
Sign me up, Harry...
by Ninja Nerd
Sep 25th, 2006
04:20:54 PM
Uwe Boll translates directly into English as:
by googamooga
Sep 25th, 2006
04:37:34 PM
So Mike Tyson should become a director?
by Photoman
Sep 25th, 2006
04:39:50 PM
Call me crazy, but I like Uwe better now.
by FluffyUnbound
Sep 25th, 2006
04:40:26 PM
I'd whip his untalented ass. Why make a Bloodrayne 2?
by Monkey_King
Sep 25th, 2006
04:42:55 PM
His movies may suck... but at least he's got some guts
by Admiral_Kirk
Sep 25th, 2006
04:56:06 PM
This does prove he's a pretty good guy
by Larry of Arabia
Sep 25th, 2006
04:58:01 PM
stop giving this guy any mentions
by reckni
Sep 25th, 2006
04:59:58 PM
I challenge him to submission wrestling.
by UMAGA
Sep 25th, 2006
05:06:01 PM
Oh look - even more shitty production values.
by Zarles
Sep 25th, 2006
05:23:58 PM
This would be a lot cooler...
by rbatty024
Sep 25th, 2006
05:24:22 PM
The last thing Uwe is...
by alienindisguise
Sep 25th, 2006
05:30:07 PM
wrong tactics
by thefoggiest
Sep 25th, 2006
05:43:56 PM
Hilarious, can't beileve this event actually took place
by Doc_McCoy
Sep 25th, 2006
05:45:26 PM
What a bunch of pussies. I'd f*ck up Uwe Boll up!
by R.C. the "Wise"
Sep 25th, 2006
05:46:29 PM
Have you heard the weird stories about the fights?
by DerLanghaarige
Sep 25th, 2006
05:49:28 PM
FUCK THIS SHIT!!!
by Doc_Strange
Sep 25th, 2006
06:01:22 PM
DirtyRatBastard
by Ribbons
Sep 25th, 2006
06:16:38 PM
I bet Clint Eastwood could've kicked his ass...
by ldm882
Sep 25th, 2006
06:24:13 PM
That was hilarious!
by Darth Thoth
Sep 25th, 2006
06:31:12 PM
Here's the thing.
by Red Ned Lynch
Sep 25th, 2006
06:42:30 PM
And by the way.
by Red Ned Lynch
Sep 25th, 2006
06:47:19 PM
Uwe Boll: The Movie
by infamousralf
Sep 25th, 2006
07:08:17 PM
Now i know Uwe Boll is a bully piece of shit
by Meatbiscuit
Sep 25th, 2006
07:24:38 PM
So the talk about Spielberg kickboxing Pauline Kael
by CreasyBear
Sep 25th, 2006
07:48:56 PM
I think...
by Spamgelus
Sep 25th, 2006
07:59:58 PM
You didn't mention that Bollshit pussed out
by Durendal
Sep 25th, 2006
08:19:38 PM
Look Out! McG Is In Training Right Now....
by supreme nothing
Sep 25th, 2006
08:30:31 PM
What I want to know is: Why didn't Harry participate?
by Sith Witch
Sep 25th, 2006
08:31:33 PM
You know, as much as I despise ol' Uwe's ways...
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Sep 25th, 2006
08:48:10 PM
It's a shame about Kristanna Loken...
by SonOfJorel
Sep 25th, 2006
09:07:12 PM
Uwe is a pussy
by antonphd
Sep 25th, 2006
09:13:34 PM
I want to thumb wrestle Brett Ratner.
by Bubba Gillman
Sep 25th, 2006
09:15:24 PM
Thanks for scaring us with the articles title....
by KongMonkey
Sep 25th, 2006
09:25:56 PM
SMASH TV
by MRJONZ72
Sep 25th, 2006
09:37:07 PM
just bizarre
by stvnhthr
Sep 25th, 2006
10:05:25 PM
Did Uwe Boll direct this video?
by Westonian
Sep 25th, 2006
10:12:44 PM
Now that THAT's settled
by Sightseemc
Sep 25th, 2006
11:06:26 PM
Uwe Boll should direct a Steven Segal movie.
by Uncapie
Sep 25th, 2006
11:10:28 PM
Clap the ears real hard.
by sentient
Sep 25th, 2006
11:28:43 PM
And really...
by Red Ned Lynch
Sep 25th, 2006
11:28:53 PM
Oh yeah, Big Man!
by SithScorp
Sep 26th, 2006
12:34:52 AM
I now have a goal...
by PurityOfEssence
Sep 26th, 2006
12:52:54 AM
I hate this guy even more now...
by Jon E Cin
Sep 26th, 2006
12:55:35 AM
Uwe Boll, the Geekdestroyer.
by tempurasan
Sep 26th, 2006
01:05:14 AM
this is aintitcool news???!
by mistergreen
Sep 26th, 2006
01:05:54 AM
Should've had a filmmaking contest, critics would win.
by Kampbell-Kid
Sep 26th, 2006
01:16:19 AM
Since when do critics know how to make a movie?
by DerLanghaarige
Sep 26th, 2006
01:29:27 AM
i will be so happy if he actually makes bloodrayne 2
by s0nicdeathmonkey
Sep 26th, 2006
02:31:56 AM
what is the third Lokken movie?
by s0nicdeathmonkey
Sep 26th, 2006
02:57:02 AM
All filmmakers should prove their worth this way.
by deanamatronix
Sep 26th, 2006
03:21:29 AM
Make a doc about the fights.
by UltimaRex
Sep 26th, 2006
06:00:12 AM
Well Done Uwe, I say...
by Pawprint
Sep 26th, 2006
06:07:59 AM
Amen Red Ned Lynch.
by ELGordo
Sep 26th, 2006
06:29:57 AM
Boll refused to fight the one with boxing experience?!!
by FatPaul
Sep 26th, 2006
06:37:44 AM
Panterarocks: IMDb says Uli Edel directed Dark Kingdom
by FatPaul
Sep 26th, 2006
06:48:23 AM
Uli Edel is NOT Uwe Boll!
by DerLanghaarige
Sep 26th, 2006
07:43:19 AM
Uwe's calling
by notbad
Sep 26th, 2006
07:54:35 AM
CRITICS SMASHED
by BranMakMorn
Sep 26th, 2006
08:22:04 AM
If he won, he'd be ridiculed for being beaten...
by ScarranHalfBreed
Sep 26th, 2006
09:08:29 AM
Those "critics" made the same mistake as Uwe
by Harold The Great
Sep 26th, 2006
10:04:00 AM
I hope they never get into a real fight
by MontyPigeon
Sep 26th, 2006
10:08:13 AM
And his movies STILL suck!
by ZeroCorpse
Sep 26th, 2006
10:08:52 AM
it's all true
by El Borak
Sep 26th, 2006
11:28:41 AM
Kristanna Loken should be WonderWoman
by R.C. the "Wise"
Sep 26th, 2006
11:30:53 AM
I thought the headline meant he was directing Hulk 2
by Demosthenes2
Sep 26th, 2006
11:56:44 AM
Oy, that fight was pathetic
by VeganZombie
Sep 26th, 2006
11:58:41 AM
Jeff Sneider
by Cory849
Sep 26th, 2006
12:22:07 PM
what the hell is a semi-professional boxer?
by ectocriminal
Sep 26th, 2006
12:25:59 PM
i also thought he'd be directing hulk
by satansteve
Sep 26th, 2006
01:06:49 PM
What A Bunch Of Cunts. NEXT TIME FUCKING TRAIN!!
by The Ender
Sep 26th, 2006
02:56:49 PM
Yeah, good idea to get some training in before a fight.
by brycemonkey
Sep 26th, 2006
03:24:40 PM
Get off Harry, of course he couldn't participate.
by JackPumpkinhead
Sep 26th, 2006
03:51:34 PM
Also... PLANT!
by JackPumpkinhead
Sep 26th, 2006
03:54:38 PM
TOO SOON!
by JackPumpkinhead
Sep 26th, 2006
03:56:24 PM
OK, one more: France surrenders to Uwe Boll!
by JackPumpkinhead
Sep 26th, 2006
04:00:31 PM
Wait a minute...
by Anna Valerious
Sep 26th, 2006
07:13:17 PM
I would Rock-Paper-Scissors that fool anyday.
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Sep 26th, 2006
08:27:54 PM
The next PR stunt.
by w5h
Sep 26th, 2006
10:31:56 PM
Critics....
by ZoddGutsu
Sep 27th, 2006
12:22:57 AM
I respect Jeff because he did try.
by Uncapie
Sep 27th, 2006
01:26:42 AM
Lowtax directed "Doom House"
by theoneofblood
Sep 27th, 2006
07:33:55 AM
They were going to train...
by Photoman
Sep 27th, 2006
11:19:25 AM
You all are just jealous!
by FangBonerD
Sep 27th, 2006
11:22:02 AM
With That Mentality Fangboner....
by The Ender
Sep 27th, 2006
02:05:48 PM
We all knew this was gonna be a slaughter...BUT...
by BV
Sep 27th, 2006
05:06:27 PM
pah, not cool news at all.
by Lost Prophet
Sep 29th, 2006
07:34:27 AM
Unbelievable...
by barkingdogg
Oct 6th, 2006
02:42:06 AM

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