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If You Saw PIRATES, This Is Your Fault!! Disney's JUNGLE CRUISE Movie Coming!!
Merrick here…
Reuters & Hollywood Reporter say that Disney’s “Jungle Cruise” ride is being developed as a movie to be scripted by SMALLVILLE overlords Al Gough and Miles Millar (whose MUMMY 3 script now appears to be moving forward, possibly under the direction of ROCKETEER & JURASSIC PARK 3 helmer Joe Johnston).
From the article:
Plot details are being kept under lock and key, but the movie will be set in the 20th century.
Given the mindbending success Disney found with PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN films, this should come as no surprise. And, you know, with HAUNTED MANSION and COUNTRY BEARS being so good and all – there’s really no need for alarm (this is sarcasm).
Some time ago, a movie based on Disney’s “It’s a Small, Small World” ride was developed -- then fortuitously abandoned. Wonder if they were planning to loop that song for 90 minutes? That woulda been somethin’…
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I remember CONGO! Do you?
READ MORE ABOUT IT!!!
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Eddie is the man, although he likes a tranny now and then.
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BRING IT ON!
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I'm going to have to start praying 'cause the end is near....
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who knows...it's a fun ride.
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It was called THE AFRICAN QUEEN.
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starring Ric Flair! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I'm still holding out hope for that long-awaited HALL OF PRESIDENTS zombie-themed film. You know you want to see that.
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Don't get me wrong, I Like Tom but I hope Katie Holmes won't be in the movie.
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...that I enjoyed both Pirates films. I dug the hell out of that ride when I was a kid. It also makes sense that I thought the Haunted Mansion was lame. I thought the ride was lame. I've never taken the Jungle Cruise (was that ride developed within the last twenty-two years, cause that's the last time I was at Disney?). Can anyoine tell me if the ride was any good. If the trend holds, that will determine how good (or horrible) this movie can be. Oh...and I came off the Small World ride wanting to strangle anyone in the approximate height range of those animatronic kids. My younger brother was terrifed of me for the rest of the trip. Come to think of it, that might make a good plot for a "Small World" movie.
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If you've been to Disneyland anytime in the last two years at least, you would notice that the Jungle Cruise ride has been closed for a number of months. Allegedly this is to rebuild the ride to fit into the theme of the new movie. Honestly, I thought it sounded fucking sweet at the time, but now that the Smallville team is attached I'm even more excited. Embrace the goofy charm of Miles/Millar.
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I'm tired.
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Or maybe "Waiting in Line".
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Bush and company think they are in Walt Disney world. and walt Disney World is the Happiest place on Earth. that is what dick and don think of Iraq. That it is happiest place on Earth. There are no problems in Iraq, not according to Dick and Don. Anyway.
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Lately I've been wondering what a Thunder Mountain: The Movie or Matterhorn: The Movie might be like. The ones I'm most excited for are Swiss Family Robinson: The Movie and Indiana Jones: The Movie. Those two feel like they were made to be films.
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...before Disney got all politically correct and multinational corporate, those were the days. As a yung un born and raised in Anaheim and a frequent visitor of DL, I recall the crazy boat guides who told off-color and Polish jokes and people actually laughed instead of gasped.
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Bush and company think they are in Walt Disney world. and walt Disney World is the Happiest place on Earth. that is what dick and don think of Iraq. That it is happiest place on Earth. There are no problems in Iraq, not according to Dick and Don. Anyway. After my pet goat. Bush probably thinks that Its a small world is real. and that there is a man called Darby o Gill and that he has little people....
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Bush and company think they are in Walt Disney world. and walt Disney World is the Happiest place on Earth. that is what dick and don think of Iraq. That it is happiest place on Earth. There are no problems in Iraq, not according to Dick and Don. Anyway. After my pet goat. Bush probably thinks that Its a small world is real. and that there is a man called Darby o Gill and that he has little people....
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GOD NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Can't wait!!
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Fun times.
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So I'm blame free.
Screw the Jungle Cruise I want Mr. Toad's Wild Ride the live action movie! It was the tripiest ride at Disney World (besides It's a Small World of Coarse) -
in this movie and brings Scientology to the locals. Sorry, that's all I've got.
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C'mon, you know it could be good. Think of the merry hyjinks with all of those guys in the same room.
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Apart from some seriously dodgy gorillas, I thought Congo was a bit of a laugh. There was no excuse for THe Country Bears
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Actually, this has, however small, a chance of being good. What I'd like to see, from a Disney attraction, though, is Figment the Epcot Dragon in a movie or TV show.
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I've already bought my tickets!
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Make that 'Star Tours' ride into a movie.
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Back and to the left. Back and to the left.
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This is the one where the Scientologists administer free "Stress Tests" to the pygmy cannibals.
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Monster Plantation from Six Flags Over Georgia. I used to live for that ride. I'm anxious to see if anyone else here ever rode it.
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I mean, you know, Disneyworld and Disneyland rides and all.
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About a midget Scientology freak who blinds evil with the power rays from his bleached teeth.
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durrr, bring me rocket cars
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I paid for seeing Congo back then though and I'd pay again for a special edition DVD of THAT film rather than getting more Johnny Crapp and plotless Disney "films"
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The "hook" behind most of the DisneyLand/World original rides was that they were semi-interactive/"live" versions of stuff that was popular as movie/TV/comic fodder at the time: Pirates, a haunted house, etc. "Boatful of people lost in the jungle" has been the premise for hundreds of good-to-excellent movies/books/whatever in the past, so given the same kind of attention Pirates got theres no reason this can't be a good time.
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make a neat movie. Just have engaging characters and some dazzling scenery and I'm for it.
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I smell Oscars...
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lots and lots of pith helmets
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They're going to make a movie out of that Star Tours ride.
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With gorillas with freaking lazer beams??
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A movie based on Star Tours would be neat too. Who wouldn't want to see the Star Wars universe from the standpoint of a tourist?
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Snicker.
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within the next decade or so all of the rides at Disneyland will just be monuments of the bad films they inspired.
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I couldn't even get through the first Pirates movie and have no intention of seeing this one, even on DVD. So we can probably now expect not only a whole new flood of Disney ride movies but now Seaworld, Busch Gardens, hell even Six Flags and Kennywood, will all jump on this bandwagon, and Hollywood will welcome them with open arms. At least the jungle movie sounds a little bit interesting, if it's done right, say like the opening sequence of Raiders.
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But suddenly I was in a whole different talkback! Weird, that is!
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"Does Wayne Brady have to smack a bitch?"
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CONGO was a great movie mad gorilla’s attacking people then people shooting at them with a big laser gun that sliced the gorilla’s arms off what more do you want.
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I'd ride that.
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How about:
THE TIKKI ROOM: THE MOVIE
You *will* believe a plastic bird can talk... -
It's gonna be a looong ride. Seen or heard anything about "Meet The Robinsons" lately? I hope JohnToy gets his hand on this Jungle Cruise thing as well.
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Tim Curry, Diamonds and men in Gorilla suits....what is there not to like?
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Haven't seen any Pirates movies yet. Don't plan too.
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I was at Disney world when the ride for small world broke down. I was about 20 feet from the end of the ride. There I was, stuck for almost an hour with that damed song playing in a loop. I wanted to claw my eyes out and rip off my ears! I was in HELL! I'm glad I never had to see that movie. If it was made, I probably would have snapped seeing commercials and trailers.
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Fortuitous DOES mean fortunate. And you referencing the word catachresis in your post makes me think of another word: irony. ******* Disney, just stop. Quit thinking that Pirates of the Caribbean was successful because it was based on a ride. It was successful because it was a fun adventure movie.
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HaHa Koozyk! That sure sounded like hell. I rode the ride without getting stuck and found it unbearable. You may suffer post-traumatic stress disorder. What's even scarier is that they'll make a ride based on the movie that was originally based on the ride...and so forth into infinity. It's just like the song, going on and on.....
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The source material for a movie is absolutely irrelevant. One of the greatest books ever written, THE GREAT GATSBY, has inspired multiple crappy movies.
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Was the strangest thing I have ever seen. really weird. Only in the US could angelica Houston become a tourist attraction and be saved by Micheal Jackson. Bizaare. But that star wars attraction was fantastic.
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Where you get to ride Natalie Portman...I'd be all over that.
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Revive MJ's career because he's the sexiest tomboy beanpole on the planet.
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I love it there. I especially like staying in the Deluxe hotels like Yacht Club and the Floridian. Keeps alot of the worlds trash at bay due to the cost. Poor people suck.
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It is one of the original rides at Disney World (apparently from this talkback, Disnleyland too). It is a boat ride (with about 15 peeps) through a little river with various scenes set up in the jungle and fake animals like hippos in the water that come up and blow water. Whats makes it any good these days (since the animals and scenes are 20 years old) is your 'guide'. They just crack jokes the entire time based on all the scenes, and every guide has a different routine. Its all clean humor, but last time I went they did crack one pretty obscene joke... but it was very witty and complicated so not very many people picked it up. But what I'm really waiting for is "Fast Pass: The Movie!!" You go see it and once the previews are over, the credits roll.
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I'm surprised nobody said that yet. and I hope Indiana Jones IV will be based on Disney's Indiana Jones ride.
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Too soon, maybe?
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Any ride turned into a film is a stupid idea because all the source material has to be created which can lead to sluggish, damn near 3 hour junkfests.
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And I think this could turn into a cool movie. If it is a success, I think they should consider making a movie out of the Indiana Jones ride.
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Hey, that's a really cool idea! Every time I ride Star Tours, I think, "This would make a really cool movie." Think about it...a mean ol' Empire and some freedom fighters with smart aleck droids in tourist ships taking them on to determine the fate of the galaxy! Who do you think should make it? Is Spielberg available?
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...wait a minute
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Doesn't anyone remember the movies based on "Inner Space" and "Mission to Mars" attractions?
Oh well. I'm just cheezed that Zacdilone beat me to the obvious Star Tours joke.
What about an Indy and the Temple of Mara movie? Oh wait, that was Temple of Doom.
Yeah, I got nothing. -
Saying that it's set in the 20th Century is a pretty broad statement, considering the new present day is the 21st Century. Is this going to be in the 20's or the 90's? It may sound like nit-picking but i think it will make all the difference in the world. What would you rather, Ashton Kutcher playing a 90's guy stuck in a wacky jungle, or something that recalls back to Gunga Din or Indiana Jones? Either way it could be terrible, but I would like to see them try with this one.
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The African Queen, except with a sweaty Eliza Dushku and giant, mutant hippos that look bad as shit, all of you naysayers will look like fools!
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they gotta include that line... that's the best bit of the ride. god i've been to disney too often.
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Now THERE'S a Disney ride to turn into a movie. Also Epcot would make a great movie. Teenagers from different countries come to work at Disneyworld wearing native costume none of them would ever be caught dead in at home, live in a big dorm, and fuck like minks.
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Hell and damnation awaits you if you don't agree.
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i'm in
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Star Tours: The Movie is the funniest thing I've heard all day. Granted, it's been a slow day but still. Glad to see everyone's jumping all over this one when all we know is that it's set sometime between 1901 and 2000.
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'Nuff Said
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I swear, with you guys writing, it'll be sell like hotcakes to the kiddies.
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The only thing that'll save the Jungle Cruise movie is if it was rated NC-17 or XXX.
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There's room for greatness here if they follow the Pirates pot of gold and not the Haunted Mansion approach. They could still do a good Haunted Mansion film using the Phantom Manor story at Euro Disney. I wouldn't automatically rule out what Disney could do with Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad or the Matterhorn either.
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movie. http://imdb.com/title/tt0118172/
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... The Jungle Cruise is a great ride, and this movie has a lot of potential. For those who don't know, when on the ride, you're a tourist on a free floating boat, and you enjoy the animatronic jungle as your tour guide, an actual human, makes snarky comments about how cheesy the ride is. For example, you pass an animatronic tiger, your guide chimes in with a jungle fun fact, "These animals can weight up to three tons and jump up to one hundred feet." You pass an animatronic lion, "These animals can weight up to three tons and jump up to one hundred feet." You pass an animatronic elephant, "These animals can weight up to three tons and jump up to one hundred feet." Good times. Expect a 1920s safari setting with lots of snark and lots of jungle danger. It really is one of the most under appreciated rides in the park, and I can't wait for the movie.
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HoP-the movie:a bunch of animatronic statues get possessed by their respective presidents, and join together to stop a corrupt presidential candidate
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You guys, you guys. ALright, you remember when I went to Disney World and ate a bunch of fried dough, then rode the teacups too fast immediately causing me to puke on my grandmothers shoes? Ehhh, they should make a movie of that. (don't worry, they were just old people shoes, they probably cost five bucks not including the old people discount)
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was one of Crichton's best, but that movie was so garbage. the thing is, they could have done it on that budget easily...in 1988...the best part of the book was laughing at how "fancy" they considered the technology that was outdated a few years later. if they had made it soon after the book it would have been a huge hit. and the bruce STILL could have been in it...at his same asking price, no less...
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And it pains me that me and my fellow "legends" at the Jungle Cruis (Disney World...not Land) will not be making cameos! But nobody knows us...except for the folks that watched thousands of home videos from that era.
I am curious how they render this one...it will be based in the 30's...no doubt. We had management on our backs everytime we went off the "written" script and told current jokes. But...we went around 40 times a day...we had to break it up and at least attempt to make it funny...the written spiel SUCKED!
We'll see!! -
Google some sites about the Jungle Cruise ride itself, and most of them say that's the year it supposedly is set in. So hopefully we do get a nice little period piece adventure out of it.
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Check out some sites on jungle cruise itself and that's when most of them say the time period it's set in. So it may be a nice little period adventure if they get a good director on it.
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Sep 21, 2006 11:21:31 PM CDT
Liked it better when it was called 'The African Queen'
by det. john kimble
I'm here all week.
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A period adventure with some humor thrown in? I'm there, if they can make it a quality film ala Pirates with a great visual director. I've always loved the Jungle Cruise, though I almost wet myself at age 5, when those hippos came out of the water right near me.
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30s adventure movies are all good and well, but if you really want to hit it out of the park, they should make a movie about the actual ride. As in an unsuspecting family of four comes to Disneyland expecting good ol'fashioned fun when, WHAM, they're attacked by animatronic crocodiles come to life. I see screaming Japanese tourists, decapitated jungle cruise skippers, and a cameo by Steve Irwin (may he rest in peace.) Personally, i think it would be a hit.
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In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room
All the birds sing words and the flowers croon
In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room.
Im sick of these motherfucking birds in this motherfucking tiki room!!! -
Not the original movie, but a movie version of the ride (which was based on the movie).
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anniversary special (the 40th, I think) on ABC that was directed by John Landis? The segment highlighting the Jungle Cruise just showed one passenger after another dragged out of the boat by various river animals whilst the jungle boat captain has his back to them? Anybody remember this? That segment freaked my tender adolescent mind. Walt spare us from Landis directing this movie. Unless he puts in a cunnilingus scene like in American Werewolf.
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"The Hud" rules!
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Involving tiny Tom getting reamed by the biggest, blackest rent-boys he could find at a themed club. You know he likes that shit !
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on the eve of War In Iraq or after 9/11 current president is visited by the ex presidents, where he is given a smackdown by the ex-presidents. one of who is the hulkster, brother......
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After all, 9/11 (or at least an equivalent incident) had been planned since the '60s. That it happened in 2001 was Bush snr's way of getting the frak back at Saddam after being unable to finish the job during his time in office. Also, they needed something to be the catalyst for everlasting war (at least, a catalyst in the public's eye. The public actually react to something like 9/11, whereas they don't give a fuck about oil and they wouldn't accept the truth if it was told to them - the truth that both sides are using racial fear and hatred to push the world toward a single solitary goal that can only be achieved through continued loss of life over a LONG period of time.) Some people think that if the world was at peace it would implode and mean the eventual extinction of the human race. I used to think that idea was insane, but obviously the higher powers (I'm not talking about the Lords of Kobol here...) believe this to be true or the conflict wouldn't continue to be unresolved.
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But i was kind of joking in my post. These neocons have worked out long ago that the citizens of the Us are stupid and that will believe anything they are told. the old chesnut about UFO's. is really more to do with protecting security and the then governmental paranoia about the Chinese and the Russians. by keeping it all secret, this has lead to all source of nonsense, about UFO's and little green men. The roswell incident, the govt were testing out prototype spying equipment.
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First off, loved "Haunted Mansion"...mainly for hot Regency era guy. Secondly, I thought the third "Mummy" was on hold because Rachel Weisz had been pregnant. But they gotta keep the bad puns.
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Widen Your World Summer 2007
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If I remember rightly the Regency era guy is Nathaniel Parker, he plays the lead in the Inspector Lynley Mysteries over here in the UK. You should check it out if you like him.
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...better inspiration for movies. How about Universal Studios? I went there once and they had a ride where this giant monkey attacking a train - surely that can be turned into a movie. Also, there was one with a giant shark that leaps out the water at people, and another that had this Delorean that travels into the future and shit, fixing various time paradoxes that it caused in the first place.
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My initial reaction is "Oh dear God..." especially when you factor in that they will most certainly fold in the bad jokes the guide tells. Still, the Pirates ride had no plot or story and they pulled of a marvelous coup de grace. Still, I'll bet they pulled It's A Small World because it would have to be aired on Skinemax (think urban legend of people having sex when the ride breaks down)
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Rides turning into movies and Movies turning into rides.
Its a Perpetual money making machine.
Its never ending! -
That was the best. I had a broken toe, couldnt walk, and they gave me a wheelchair. Little did I know that I wouldnt have to wait in any line except one, the Buzz Lightyear ride. Ive did the entire park on almost every ride in under 5 hours. Bliss.
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Monster Plantation = #2 make-out spot at Six Flags Over Georgia ... Confederate Bucket, for the win ^_^
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You know this
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We can make a movie called Talkback: The movie, and have all of you wonderful talkbackers who having nothing but negative things to say about anything take a Jungle Cruise and just when you think you are safe, Jar Jar Binks, Steven Sommers, and everything else you claim to hate pops out and devours you.
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So we're flipping through the dish the other night and catch a rerun of an old Parker Stevenson/Shaun Cassidy Hardy Boys TV movie. Frank and Joe are getting on a charter boat to go into the jungle, and we immediately recognize both the "charter boat" and the "jungle". The only thing missing was the spiel, which actually might have helped.
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WTF dude. Do they even know what they are doing over there. Instead of making this flop they could donate the money to charity or something. What a waste.
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We get Q Quentin Tarantino to direct it. I can already hear the witty pulp dialog as our protagonists wait to purchase a disney coney dog, or whatever they're called. Though, it wouldn't be a suprise to see the $4 shake. It would probably cost $8 in the park.
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with the right hook. On the ride isn't it four rivers? So the movie premise is the best river guides from the different areas (makes for good action and back story in different locations) are brought together to find/save/rescue something. Toss in some Nazis and it's a franchise.
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I would pay to see Tom Cruise star in a "Doc Methuselah" movie. It could be cool and hilariously bad at the same time.
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loved it.
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It's in the execution. And oh, by the way, Jigsaw and Brewhammer, there already was a "Matterhorn" movie. It was called "The Third Man on the Mountain", only this was back in the day when they did the movie first, then used it as inspiration for a theme park attraction. (Pretty good movie, too, by the way. Some pretty amazing mountain climbing. But probably not slick, stupid or CGI enough for today's audiences.)
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just like the real ride. This will be a hit if Depp( in the role of the river guide) is the Captain of the jungle boat. Or Will Smith. Yes Smith! He should be the guide. And he could fight a giant spider guarding a golden idol in a cave full of booby traps...wow this stuff writes itself : )
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... and it wasn't that bad. Had a good Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack. But my God 'The Haunted Mansion' was shocking awful. Would like to see a movie based on that 'Honey I Shrunk The Audience' ride though, that could be pretty good. And that shark ride at Universal studios... I always think that would make a kick-ass film. See, I can do sarcasm too.
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right away.
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I thought this was amusing...I cannot imagine how the jungle cruise ride could be made into a decent movie.
Sounds like something my mom, the Disney freak, would love.
Me,I will pass.
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