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A New Matt Stone Short Film.... Le Petit Package... a film about more than one happy dancing penis

Sometimes in the world of journalism there are stories that... well the traditional media won't print. Sometimes it's because of the heat from certain 'priggish' groups, or sometimes it's because of a word or two. Well David Poland and his HOT BUTTON column at Roughcut.com.... well, he couldn't get this story up because of the amount of penises it contains. This is ludicrous. Have we really come so far in our society that words like "Penis" or "Vagina" are so upsetting that their use should be stricken from every obelisk? The next thing you know, we won't be able to use "Breasts" or "Buttocks", and God Forbid if we modify the words and phrases with terms like "flaccid" or "erect". Just so ya know, this was a short film that Matt Stone did for a small festival up in Park City during SUNDANCE.... It sounds funny, but not near as funny as the Penis Ninja short with the guy that would shake his penis at people and they would be knocked out. Well... here ya go....

Le Petit Package

A car drives up to a park. Matt Stone gets out. He takes a package out of the car. It is a gun. He puts the gun on the ground. He takes off his coat, his shirt, his pants. He is naked. He puts the gun to his head. The French music builds. And suddenly, his penis to dance to the music. Up and down and up and down. He is happy. It dances left and right and up and down. He smiles. And he dances long with his penis. A bicyclist drives by, seemingly not noticing. Then, a cop who smiles and waves. Then three unicyclists. Around and around the penis goes. Then, a guy in a sweater comes by. He drops his pants and his penis dances too. They both dance and their penises dance. Then, a third guy. And a fourth guy. Then, a clown. And a mime. And a black guy. Then a cute girl comes out with a trophy and gives it to the black guy. Then the girl gets on a swing behind the naked, dancing men and swings. Fade to black. The end.

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 9, 1999, 3:45 a.m. CST

    I'd like to see this... I think.

    by Stenbeck

    How, uh, graphic are the penis dances? Shown, or suggested? Matt Stone and Trey Parker are funny guys. Haven't seen Orgazmo or Cannibal yet (and I'm not sure if I'll like them or not), but South Park continues to delight. Even when they aren't 'great', they're pretty fuckin' good. The feature promises to be excellent. Funny enough to forgive them BASEketball (also not their writing, that helps...)

  • Feb. 9, 1999, 6:27 a.m. CST

    stone should be helping south park, the show is circling the dra

    by spike lee

    Matt Stone seems to forgotten what put him on the map, South Park. The show was so funny and fresh when it came out. The new episodes are weak, and not even funny. I hope the South Park Movie will put everything back on track.

  • Feb. 9, 1999, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Matt Stone = NON funny

    by MCGordonLiddy

    Hopefully, in time, Mr. Stone will have an original idea that's funny because of creativity and innovation, not because of the taboos of the culture. I don't know what freakish nerve his little show hit, I guess this harkens back to the old Nostradamus prediction that "Two unfunny men will rise". The reason that show's gone downhill is because it's novelty. If South Park Fans are disappointed with their current half hour, they should stick to their guns and watch UCB afterwards. It's funny not because it's from Chicago, but because it's smart without trying to be, as opposed to trying with difficulty to be appropriately stupid. I weep that the Zuckers chose Parker/Stone as their rightful heirs.

  • Feb. 9, 1999, 2:19 p.m. CST

    It makes your penis dance.

    by rjslick

    While Orgazmo disappointed me (too many missed opportunities and they should've just gone for broke and showed real porn), Cannibal is one of the funniest films I've ever seen. It spits in the eyes of logic and taste and has the collective maturity of a book of fart jokes, but goddamnit, it's funny. I recently saw the original Mr Frosty & Spirit of Christmas shorts that were the precursors to South Park (they're part of the latest Spike & Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation) and I believe we are witnessing the births of comic geniuses. It's not just that they break taboos; it the way they do it. When they're good, it's like Monty Python turned up to eleven. They don't want to just show penises on the screen, they want them to dance, frolic, enjoy life. Personally, I think that sounds like a good idea for a beer commercial; "Buy Duff Beer; it makes your penis dance."

  • Feb. 9, 1999, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Stone/Parker : One trick ponies

    by twist13

    What can you really say about these guys? They haven't done a funny thing since South Park first aired. BASEketball was virtually unwatchable, and Orgasmo was just plain embarrassing for everyone involved. Dancing penises? Um...whatever. I think they should both look at their watches. It look like the time is 14:59. And we all know what Andy Warhol said.

  • Feb. 9, 1999, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Matt & Trey cut them some slack folks

    by babaca

    Gee whiz folks! Cut these guys some slack. The films Cannibal (which is hilarious), Orgazmo (which was fine, but could have been a touch better. I would have figured once the NC-17 was stuck there Trey should have gone for broke) and BASEketball (which they were only ACTORS in and didn't write) were all done BEFORE SOUTH PARK. Only the geniuses of marketing had all these projects come out within the same time frame. I think South Park is still genius. I hope the movie will rock when it comes out, at least it won't be bleeped with an R rating. South Park is still funny, but like any program not every episode is going to be a perfect gem. Of course, on Le Petit Package, hey anytime I get to see some penises (as oppose to silicon valleys) I'm all for it. I hope it gets shown at other festivals like SXSW maybe???? Barb

  • Feb. 10, 1999, 5:01 p.m. CST

    SIZE?

    by jsp

    my, oh, my, you forgot to mention the most important factor: SIZE! I think the most important question here is whether men will view "le petit package" and feel inadequate [boogie nights], and women will leave feeling disappointed with their current lover(s) [boogie nights again]. Or will everyone just laugh...

  • Feb. 10, 1999, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Matt Stone short

    by brwayne

    I saw the movie and it was damn funny. It is an amazingly unfunny read, however. The plot isn't what is important as the people's faces and the effect of the dancing dicks. I understand that Trey was Matt's "dick puppetteer". Now that's friendship. I find that the people who bag so hard on Matt and Trey are simply jealous because they are doing what everyone that visits this web site wants to be doing...whatever they want and having a great time doing it. Keep at it, boys. Sure, "Baseketball" sucked, but "Orgasmo" had some great moments. If you can do what you love and get paid for it, there can't be anything better.