As I stated yesterday... you may want to realize that this was a very early screening of this comedy, and was screened for the purpose of seeing where and when the comedy worked and didn't work. It wouldn't have the final score or sound (both of which can be and are VERY IMPORTANT to a comedy). The main point is this is a work in progress. We'll be keeping our eye on this project all the way through to release because... It's Albert Brooks, and he's damned funny and good. In addition, I want to warn all those of the faint of heart and the virginal ears... Hallenbeck is walking here, and he's an angry little bastard when he get's his dandruff up... He doesn't like the tingle of HEADS AND SHOULDERS so... beware...
Happy Freakin' New Year, my fellow geeks and geekettes! The Mighty Joe
HowlinSchmuck(as some lovely las once put it) is here to ring in the New
Year with a Review to Albert Brooks' latest opus, THE MUSE. Now, for
those of you who don't know what a Muse is, let me give you a brief
Mythology lesson.
According to Greek lore, 9 Muses roamed the Earth to "inspire" us
Artistic Humans into creating Masterpieces. There is a certain quality
about these women that invoke all those creative juices laying dormant
inside your soul. I, for one, believe these creatures do exist. However,
they don't necessarily have to be a beautiful "Goddess." They can be an
inanimate object or a homely stranger that smiles at you. It could be
any number of things. Of course, this is using the term "Muse" in the
most broad sense of the word.
If, perhaps, your muse should happen to be
a woman, be cautious for you do not wish to anger this Muse. All the
strength and will power...the desire to be better than what you are can
be drawn from this Muse, but alas...if you should lose this Muse then
you may become the man...the artist, you loathe. This Muse, to put it in
pop culture terms, is "YOUR CAN OF SPINACH"...that "thing" that makes
you feel invincible! -- Throw 12 Bluto's at you and you'll be able to
sock 'em across the kisser and right out of the Ballpark. If this
amazing person should leave your life, rest assured that she came for a
reason. This talent that you believe she drew out of you was always
there and will remain there till your dying day. Maybe that's the real
purpose of a Muse...to breathe life into a dying artist...to make him
see what has been there all along. There's no inspiration on her
part...no heavy influence on you OR your art. They were just under lock
and key. She just so happened to be the one who could jimmy the lock.
After she is gone, the artist will realize what a fool he has been for
not being able to see what truly layed beneath that stubborn,
thick-skulled exterior of his. But, that's okay -- It's just one of
those lesson's an artist learns in life. Perhaps, one day, when the
artist is comfortable with his creations he will seek out this Muse that
inspired him so and thank her for opening up his creative soul. Then
again, this trek may not be neccessary, for a TRUE MUSE needs never to
be thanked. But, being the passionate artist he is, this trek will be made
nevertheless. The
Muse may be elated to see him or she may be working on another case.
Whatever the outcome, the artist will know this is one journey he had to
take. Besides, what good would it be to live your life always
questioning the "what if's?" Speaking somewhat from an artists'
perspective, I can honestly say, "Who the FUCK wants to live a life full
of "What If's?"
On to Mr. Brooks....
I love this guy. He's highly neurotic, but not in that annoying, penis
envy, masturbatory fantasy way that Woody Allen is. When I look at Albert,
I laugh. When I look at Woody, I just want to take my fuckin' bat and
beat the holy shit out of that schmuck! Enough about the pedo...nevermind.
The only Brook's movie I haven't
had the pleasure of seeing is MODERN ROMANCE. I will one day, but for
right now I'll stick with his other classics:
REEL LIFE - FUCK TRUMAN! Oh, and EDTV can kiss my hairy ass! If you want
to see brilliant shenanigans with a real life person on TV 24 hours a
day then rent this gem! Charles Grodin is absolutely hysterical as the
beleagured Father and star of this so-called "documentary." It's great
Albert Brooks schtick. If the first 10 minutes doesn't leave you in
stiches nothing will!
LOST IN AMERICA - "I've seen the future and it's a bald man from New
York!" 'Nuff said!
DEFENDING YOUR LIFE - my God, is this movie original! It's so low key,
yet incredibly inventive. This movie proves that you don't need a $100
million budget to do an "original", out of this world movie. One scene
constantly sticks out in my head. It's quite possibly the funniest thing
I've ever seen on the big screen. The reason being -- I CAN PICTURE THIS
HAPPENING FOR REAL! The scene, for those of you who haven't seen it(and
for those of you who have AND are Brooks' fans then you should know what
I'm referring to) consists of a blooper reel of all the head bumps,
trips and falls you had during your life. It's set to that wacky, Marv
Albert-like prat fall blooper music. It's pure BROOKS! It's just plain
CLASSIC!!!
MOTHER - some of his fans didn't dig this movie. I, for one, loved it!
It's not nearly as good as another possessive mother movie that goes by
the name of ONLY THE LONELY(a very underrated flick if I've ever seen
one), but this Brook's
comedy had some classic moments. In particular, the Video Phone scene.
If you've scene the flick, you know what I'm talking about.
Now we come to his latest creation. Speaking as a rabid fan of Mr.
Brooks I have to sadly state The Muse was an utter let down. Oh, don't
get me wrong, it had some hilarious moments. About 48% of the dialogue
was brilliant in that Albert Brooks way(ie "Being a screenwriter in
Hollywood is like being a Eunuch at an orgy. The only difference is a
Eunuch gets to watch.") Of course, I was most likely paraphrasing here,
but you get the point.
THE PLOT: Albert is an aging screenwriter who has lost his edge. In
comes Sharon Stone, a so-called Muse who has done wonders for some of
Hollywood's elite. What follows is a wacky situation of creating the
perfect summer blockbuster. Of course, his wife's life long "cookie
dream" gets in the way of his "musing time" with the lovely Sharon.
The situations Albert has concocted are quite amusing, yet too
unbeleivable even for an Albert Brooks movie. The characters never grow.
No one learns anything from this absurd experience. At times the movie
is witty(Brooks style), but at other times the comedy feels like it
should be on a TGIF show. It's really bizarre. Either he has lost some
of his gifts or someone screwed up in the editing room. The pacing was
poor and a majority of the jokes fell flat. Like I mentioned above,
there are some hysterical moments, but they are regretfully few and far
in between.
THE WRITER/DIRECTOR/LEAD ACTOR:
Albert Brooks is an acquired taste. His humor is kind of scatalogical.
It could be wacky at times ala Marx Brothers, or it could be
raunchy...down right lewd. It's smart and sophisticated, yet there's
that Dennis Miller air about it that turns the "common folk" off. He
never talks down to the audience, but he does have a tendency to talk
over most of their heads. I just look at him and I laugh. Only two other
people have that kind of affect on me: Bill Murray and Brian
Dennehy(don't ask). He just be one funny dude. Watching him make his
trek to Amblin(or, as the movie puts it: The Speilberg Building) in one
scene across the Universal Lot simply gave me the giggles.
The inside movie jokes were generally entertaining. However, this movie
won't play in Peoria. Hell, it won't even play here in LA amongst his
fans.
THE REST:
Sharon Stone - first off, let me just say I HATE that short hair!
Second, who ever it was who slapped a raven colored wig and a smart
busness suit on Ms. Stone let me buy you a drink! I fell in love with
this woman all over again when I saw her wearing that. YOWSER!
Let's ignore her "body of work" and concentrate on her performance at
hand. I HATED HER!!! She wasn't cute, charming, or endearing. She was a
sweet, good natured BITCH! Maybe that's what Albert was going for. If
that was the case -- KUDOS! If not, someone kill her...please?!
Andie MacDowell - Bring her agent to me -- NOW?!!!! I must kill the
person responsible for getting this talentless, yet beautiful woman,
acting jobs! Just smile...don't act. You would be doing the world a
favor.
Jeff Bridges - I just love this guy. It's unfortunate he wasn't used
more in the movie. Perhaps he was, but was cut out...who knows? I will
say this: His Tennis Game definitely needs some work (This refers to a
classic Brooks scene in the film).
All in all the movie just didn't have the same charm that other Albert
Brooks projects do. Hoepfully by seeing the movie with an audience of
fans he can determine what jokes worked and which ones didn't. It's
definitely his worst movie...then again, look at the company it's in? I
wish some day I can be hangin' with such a crowd.
T.T.F.N.,
Joe Hallenbeck
Hallenbeck69@hotmail.com
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