Harry here - it seems that not only is BORAT an authentic comedy motion picture from the Easter European region of little money, but their prints are upon 80 year old rejected military film stock of such fragility that work no can do. Here be report of longer length...

Sept 7, 2006

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Ryerston Theatre, Toronto

I was a part of history last night at Midnight Madness. For the first time, the screening was cancelled!

The nite began uneventfully and late (as usual). Borat came out to great fanfare, doing his Borat thing, and the movie started around 12:15. The fifteen minutes I managed to see were really, really funny. I'd tell you about it but I don't want the censorship overlords reading my email and firing me for obscenity. Suffice to say it was very disturbing, shocking, absurd, etc.

...okay one spoiler: borat takes a dump at the trump tower...right on/beside the famous "Trump Tower International" sign in broad daylight on a busy New York day...no, really.

So the movie's rolling along nicely, and then...nothing. The image stutters and dies. Lights come on, people buzzing. Borat can be seen heard screaming Kazakh obscenities from the back of the theatre, threatening to behead Colin Geddes if the film is not restarted. The rapidly-balding mr. Geddes is nowhere to be seen. Michael Moore is spotted and some of the crowd begs him to fix the problem. Some poor schlub informs us that they are working on the problem and implores us to be patient. Borat leaves, crowd gets restless. Wild conspiracy theories - this was all planned, Boart will appear in the projector room and "fix" the problem.

Someone dude in the crowd starts doing magic tricks. They are not very good. He's mostly ignored. He ends his routine by pointing at the crowd: "Homo Sapiens" then pointing at himself "Homo Superior."

Just when things can't get any more worse, Michael Moore takes the stage along with Larry Charles, the director. They do Q&A, although Micheal Moore is not involved in this movie. He says he has recruited his "people" to steal a projector part from elgin and then the problem can be fixed. Then he invites us all to his movie tomorrow. Why is Michael Moore even up there? Larry Charles writes a school note for some kid. A dude asks two separate questions on chicken molesting. Ari Gold from Entourage shouts something unintelligble from the upper level. Michael Moore promotes his movie(s) AGAIN. Thirty minutes have passed since the projector went kaput.

Borat is trotted out again to appease the now uneasy crowd. "Who would have thought Canadian cameras like Kazakh cameras?" We're pretty much resigned to the fact that the movie will not re-start. Colin Geddes is visibly shaken as he asks Borat every single question on his cue card (he asked like seven questions). hardly anyone else asks anything. Borat wants to make "sexy time" with the premier's wife(!) Borat could not film in Europe because of sex offender status - he swears the horse was seven. Forty five minutes and still no film.

A chic with a headset runs onto stage, (Borat likes her: "how much?") informs Geddes who in turn informs us all. The screening is cancelled and rescheduled for Friday at elgin, sorry now get the hell out of here. Borat exits stage right ( no idea if he will be present on Friday) and everyone shuffles out of the theatre. We got to see 15 minutes of celuloid Borat and over 30 mins of real-life Borat. And Michael Moore. So that was fun.

Rahul Gupta