Today's news of the weird! Bruce Lee: The Amusement Park? With Bruce Lee-bots? Could happen...
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with the hands down oddest bit of geekiness I've heard in a long while. "The Fark Man" sent me a link to this website here which had this bit of news about an amusement park being developed in China:
Time for some WEIRD Theme Park News story of the year. What could be stranger than a proposed Dracula theme park in Romania? How about a new park themed after the legendary Bruce Lee? Chinese news sources are reporting that just such a theme park is being planned and will feature a roller coaster that will feature Bruce Lee’s signature “screams and grunts” Wait... it gets even better. The park will be “patrolled by Bruce Lee ‘mannequin robots’ radio-controlled from inside a giant statue of the late film star.” Somehow... I doubt we’ll see this idea come to life.
Bruce Lee-bots? A Bruce Lee rollercoaster with his vocalizations at every twist and turn? God bless the Chinese. I know WESTWORLD warned us of exactly this kind of park, but... Please have this actually happen! Please!!!
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Sept. 5, 2006, 1:32 a.m. CST
Sept. 5, 2006, 1:33 a.m. CST
by using Spanish...I still feel like an ass
Sept. 5, 2006, 1:35 a.m. CST
...picture the "itchy and scratchy land" episode of the simpsons when they got to the part about the bruce lee robots? only difference is in this case the humans wouldn't stand a chance.
Sept. 5, 2006, 1:50 a.m. CST
Maybe the Bruce Lee bots will combine with the rollercoaster to form "Bruce-inator Supreme" and fight Megatron in the last ten minutes before the park closes.
Sept. 5, 2006, 1:57 a.m. CST
this sounds too cool to be true. whatever happened to that proposed CGI Bruce Lee film?
Sept. 5, 2006, 2 a.m. CST
by nolan bautista
..should read that "Chinese are the sickest in the head men of Asia". What a bizzare idea..
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:25 a.m. CST
What I would like to see is a theme park with real, living and breathing dinosaurs. Now that would be cool!
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:27 a.m. CST
If someone steals something, the bruce Lee-bots would use some wicked JKD on the culprit. I think it would almost be worth it stealing something then having my ass handed to me by a robot.
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:33 a.m. CST
It means American citizens will HAVE to flock to this place in large groups, all wearing cameras around their necks to take a picture of Bruce Lee every one and a half seconds. It's high time the Asians experience THAT little cultural quirk, don't you think?
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:33 a.m. CST
How about a Seagal park?
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:38 a.m. CST
That's one of the most awesome ideas ever!
Sept. 5, 2006, 2:39 a.m. CST
1 more or at a stretch 2 more generational gaps and Bruce Lee won't matter anymore. It's like Frank Sinatra getting a theme park.. I know he's famous but I don't give a crap. I do give a crap about Bruce though.. buut it'll be surreal going to theme park dedicated to him. So if this is real and unless it's financed by the government, I give this 5-10 years tops.
Sept. 5, 2006, 3:06 a.m. CST
I read that entire article as Bruce Willis instead of Bruce Lee. I only stopped to think when it mentioned "late film star". I'm going completely west.
Sept. 5, 2006, 3:07 a.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
You know it'll never live up to the hype, even if they come alive and kill people.
Sept. 5, 2006, 3:09 a.m. CST
by The Dum Guy
Even more marketable.
Sept. 5, 2006, 3:19 a.m. CST
like some kinda Demon have opened up a Gateway to TRUE EVIL. maybe.
Sept. 5, 2006, 4:38 a.m. CST
CGI Bruce Lee movie?!?! Is this true? Please God no, that's sounds like a hideous idea, as does this theme park.
Sept. 5, 2006, 7:08 a.m. CST
So There'll be loads of skinny kungFu'ing staff members with bad bowl-cut wigs and funny music playing? while you eat your Sweet and Sour Hotdog. sounds cool!
Sept. 5, 2006, 7:12 a.m. CST
Sept. 5, 2006, 7:58 a.m. CST
I thought it was...
Sept. 5, 2006, 8:03 a.m. CST
Now *thats* a website... And yes, there is no way I would ever go to a futuristic theme park, patrolled by robot Bruce Lees for obvious reasons.
Sept. 5, 2006, 8:19 a.m. CST
There is a plan for a CGI Bruce Lee movie but they are waiting for the technology to be capable of potraying photorealistic humans. Everything else would be live action with a CGI Bruce kicking arse...personly I think it could be great. With the rights in place in the future you could see new John Wayne westerns etc.
Sept. 5, 2006, 9:03 a.m. CST
Sept. 5, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST
by Big Bad Clone
from Return of the Dragon that did the "Chinese Spare ribs" gag. I'd also love to see a guy dressed up as Wolfman Jack from the same pick and that effeminate dude that was in that and the Chinese Connection. "Such rippling muscles!"
Sept. 5, 2006, 9:57 a.m. CST
...than the Bruce Lee Mars Bar ad. Because, you know, Bruce Lee was clearly all about the selling of the chocolate bars and theme park rides. Why let someone rest in peace and dignity when you can use them as a merchandising tool to sell pop-tarts or some other dumb useless shit. Not cool. At all. As for people who actually want to see the likes of Bruce Lee and John Wayne turned into glorified CGI cartoons, because "that would be cool", fuck you. Hard.
Sept. 5, 2006, 10:04 a.m. CST
I like this bizarre, funky concept...They should follow up with the Jim Kelly "Blackbelt Jones" Theme Park!
Sept. 5, 2006, 10:21 a.m. CST
Maybe they should have a sign over the front gates... saying "ENTER the DRAGON" (heh,heh).
Sept. 5, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST
So they're going to make it a David Carradine theme park instead. Get it? 'Cause in the tv show Kung Fu--awww nevermind!
Sept. 5, 2006, 11:26 a.m. CST
Instead of the booths where you shoot a water gun into a hole and fill a balloon, there could be replicas of Jackie Chan. First person to snap his neck like Bruce did in Enter the Dragon wins a free dragon plushie! You get a free play if you can emulate Bruce's face after he did it.
Sept. 5, 2006, 11:34 a.m. CST
by maxwell's hammer
I can't wait to see the Bruce Lee Robot battle the Yul Brynner Robot!
Sept. 5, 2006, 4:14 p.m. CST
"You have our gwatitude!"
Sept. 5, 2006, 6:32 p.m. CST
...but totally awesome!
Sept. 5, 2006, 6:42 p.m. CST
The way most of you are making it, of course it sounds terrible. But who's to say that instead of the typical stunt show you see like at Universal, you have martial arts demostrations and shows. There are alreadt martial arts acrobatic tours. I bet those stunts would look more spectacular in person than the ones at an American theme park just Honk Kong stunts in movies look more edgy than American stunts. It could have potential but if's just Bruce Lee's face name and faces painted on rides then what's the point? BTW, the one that asked if there was a Bruce Lee CGI movie in the works... there was one planned. Industrial Light and Magic was supposed to do a completely CGI Bruce Lee in a live-action martial arts movie movie. Heard of nothing about it since. SO either the movie was dropped or they're still waiting for better technology to do it.
Sept. 5, 2006, 7:29 p.m. CST
Anyone remember this neat little touch in the Max Payne 2 game? Supposedly an entire park was built around a cult tv show--clearly a Twin Peaks clone, complete with Angelo Badalamenti-sounding score! More than a Bruce Lee park, though, I think I'd rather see an entire franchise of Jack Rabbit Slim's restaurants. And gimme one'a those five dollar shakes!
Sept. 5, 2006, 9:49 p.m. CST
by Mister Snitch
What we need is a Batman theme park with automated Joker, Penguin and Riddler. And of course a Batmobile, Arkham, Wayne Manor, the Narrows - the whole schmeer.
Sept. 6, 2006, 1:06 a.m. CST
...after all here in the states we have a bizarre amusement park called "The Holyland Experience". Where you can watch a live show of Jesus's crucification.. http://www.theholylandexperience.com/ It's actually a clever con, I mean what an easy way to flock in all the weak minded in the world for an easy buck. So if someone can whore out Jesus for $$$, why not Bruce...
Sept. 6, 2006, 2:30 p.m. CST
by Laser Floyd
"Giant Poisonous Robot Tarantula Island". It's about a similar park, but one that is full of giant poisonous robot tarantulas that go out of control, even though the man who designed the park said they wouldn't. It's a twist.
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