I am – Hercules!!

Two more new and untested reviewers have just sent in their takes on the long-anticipated straight-to-DVD “Aqua Teen” movie. Still not a lot of plot detail here (perhaps because the movie doesn’t have much of a plot?).

First up is “Chris”:

Ahoy,

I also attended the Nielson run screening of Aqua Teen Hunger Force the Movie in Century City, and much like the last reviewer, not only was I not impressed, but I was sadly, sadly disappointed. Well not really, because I was prepared for a feature length bore because of the nature of the 11 minute cartoon, but still this was Sizzler salad bar bad. The chili I ate at the foodcourt beforehand was the highlight of the experience.

After the yada yada 85% complete riff, they rolled the film. The origin aspects were interesting in that your only previous clues were the opening and closing credits, but that is pretty much the extent of the positive points of the movie. Well, that and Time Traveling Lincoln had some moments.

This movie was flat joke after flat joke complete with lame wire-esque fight scenes, which I pray for the producers are incomplete. Just tired, tired humor. The thing that struck me is that it wasn't so much that a lot of the jokes failed as it was that there didn't seem to actually BE a lot of jokes. The secondary characters were overused; the Moonanites provided a couple of chuckles, the Robotic Ghost of Christmas past was best left in the excellent Danzig episode and the Plutonians grew as tiresome as they did in the series. Also, I was reminded of how much Dr. Strange is not missed from the series, although he did outshine some of the other garbage strewn about.

Basically I went into this knowing this probably wasn't the format that Aqua Teens would succeed in, but I had one beautiful hope: uncensored Carl. My greatest disappointment? Barely any Carl at all. Lame. Super lame.

I could futher beat a dead horse so I will bottom line it. The movie was boring, unfunny and I can't imagine it will be released to theaters, it isn't worth the printing costs. DVD? Maybe. Cartoon Network? Probably where it should debut.

Second up is “D”:

hey, I saw the review that was from an untested source, and I thought I'd confirm everything he said:

Awful. There are some fun ideas, but the execution of them is lousy. I wasn't following the show before the screening, but I watched about ten episodes online before heading in, and it definitely doesn't stand up to the show.

Maybe its the extended format, because I'm not sure 70 minutes of that show could EVER manage to hold an audience. And perhaps as a point of contention, the show almost felt like it had storylines that ended, as new one cropped up, almost making it like a few episodes loosely connected.

But the first reviewer was right-- the silence of the crowd was painful, especially in the last 30 minutes. My friend is obsessed with the show, and fell asleep during the movie. Not a good sign.

I don't think you'll post this, but if you do, please don't use my name. Thanks, keep up the good work.

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