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Massawyrm Says IDLEWILD Is 'chock full of bullpoo!'


Hola all. Massawyrm here.

What a god damned waste of potential. No really. A god damned waste of potential. Here we have Idlewild, a film I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time now – a film so laden with talent and an intriguing premise that it got me all sorts of excited. But it’s a mess, a complete mess that fails to live up even remotely to any expectations you might have for this film. It’s not that it’s entirely terrible, but enough of it is to ruin any hopes of this being anything resembling a truly entertaining piece of film.

The list of flaws in this film are great and many – but it all boils down to one core problem. The script. Easily the laziest writing I’ve seen in quite some time, Idlewild steals virtually every cliché prevalent in this kind of film and then quite literally has no clue what to do with them. The film opens up with a flashback reminiscence establishing the lifelong friendship of our two main characters Percival (Andre Benjamin – AKA Andre 3000) and Rooster (Antwan A. Patton – AKA Big Boi.) Must be important, right? Nope. Not a bit of it. Because from that point on, the two characters share about 5 minutes of screentime together. Idlewild is two separate stories that happen to take place at the same time, and have little, if anything, to do with one another.

And neither of those stories is particularly new or interesting. Story one is about a talented musician who is being held back in his small town by an overbearing father that believes his son’s place is the family business. And story two is about…a talented musician…who inherits a nightclub and all the gangster trouble that comes with it. The only thing more been there/done that than the story ideas is their execution, each story beat being telegraphed long before it comes to fruition. But that’s not all – because the elements you don’t see coming, well, they’re just fucking nonsensical. Complete and total where the fuck did that come from? moments, followed by half assed implementation that almost begins to lead in an interesting direction only to veer directly back into cliché for resolution.

There are entire elements to the story that end up unexplained and utterly irrelevant, no matter how important they really should be. In one case, a character is revealed to not be who they claim…only to have it turn out that another character knew all along and simply kept their mouth shut. Okay, that can be interesting. It’s even more interesting when that story comes to a head and the character who knew is confronted and claims “I can explain!” But they never do. And you’re left to scratch your head asking What the Fuck? Are you kidding me? It’s just left hanging, as if that characters motivation doesn’t actually matter. DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT’S THE THRUST OF THE WHOLE FUCKING STORY! At least it is when that little factoid is revealed. That entire plot twist hinges on that explanation. An explanation that never comes.

Idlewild is chock full of bullshit like this. Dangling plot threads, cardboard characters, plot holes you could drive the Porkchop Express through, and oh yeah, Deus ex Machina. Yeah, that’s right. God even shows up. And when he does, it’s to hand a character one of the single most overused movie clichés in the history of overused movie clichés. Gee, I wonder what’s so important about a character being handed a Bible before he goes into a gunfight? You feelin’ me? Six-year-olds reading this review are smacking their foreheads over that one. Making it more bizarre is that the character in question has this incomprehensible story arc involving a flask. That he keeps on him at all times. In his breast pocket. Naw. That would be too fucking silly.

But it’s a musical, right? Who needs a real, involving story when you’re making a musical? You just need thin plot threads to take you from number to number? Right? Wrong. Because for the most part, Idlewild doesn’t seem to think it’s a musical. There are several songs, but they’re all numbers performed at the club. Or at least most of them are. Despite the reality Idlewild tries to set up, it breaks its own rules by having two musical numbers that seem entirely out of place. They just happen, out of nowhere, and serve zero purpose. And to make matters worse – both sequences look like you could chop them out of the movie and put them immediately on Mtv.

You know, there’s a longtime movie reviewer cliché that This movie looks exactly like a two hour music video. Most times it’s unwarranted – just a slam at the style over substance approach many filmmakers take with their films. Here, this comment is actually the case. It IS a two-hour music video. Entire sequences in this film point directly to a music video director helming it. And sure enough, that’s exactly what this is. It’s a first time feature by a guy who has been directing Outkast music videos for 10 years. Someone who got the resources to make a two-hour version.

So what, right? At least the music looks like it’s going to be an original blend of modern Hip Hop with thirties era jazz. Nope. The music is almost entirely modern Hip Hop. Only the last song in the film, the one played during the credits (that you may be familiar with from the trailer) sounds like this. The rest sounds exactly like every other Outkast album ever made. Which is fine, except that when juxtaposed with a story set in the thirties it simply feels wrong. From the looks of it, this appears to be something akin to Moulin Rouge, a film out of time that blends different styles together to create a single, unique universe. But that’s not what this is. It’s a film set in the thirties with musical acts that rap. There’s no creative use of Jazz or Blues mixed into a majority of the music. Just standard, by the numbers, Outkast.

And the cast, oh god, the cast. It’s amazing. And a total fucking waste. Faizon Love and Ving Rhames, two of my favorite actors working today, both do fantastic jobs…in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Then they’re gone. Ben Vereen, a perfect choice for a musical like this if ever there was one – a man that can sing, dance and knows how to act – gets a few scenes as the drunken, overbearing father. And his performance is great, for how little they use him. How about screen legend Cicely Tyson? She appears in exactly one scene. Patty LaBelle? Half of a scene. Comedian Bruce Bruce? Half of Patty LaBelle’s half-a-scene. Bill Nunn? About thirty seconds spread out through the film. Macy Gray? One of the few characters actually around for most of the film that serves virtually no purpose at all but cackle from the background. Pretty much every actor of note or name presented in the trailer is either vastly underused or a glorified cameo. The only big name in the film that gets any love whatsoever is Terrence Howard, who turns in one really great scene before his character is transformed into a mustache-twirling villain with zero depth.

And when you begin to think about how lame this film is compared to what it could have been with this concept, this cast and the musical talent behind it – well, it doesn’t live up to anything it promises to be. I mean, come on, you get Patty LaBelle in your film…as a singer…and we can’t even get a Patty LaBelle version of an old Jazz classic, or at least something that sounds like one?

But the movie isn’t a complete wasteland. Both Andre Benjamin and Paula Patton turn in believable performances, despite just how clichéd and predictable their story and dialog is. And while each of the above named cameos doesn’t garner the screentime or role they deserve, each and every one of them turns in a performance of note. There isn’t a weak link in that bunch. And each of them manages to elevate their poorly drawn characters into memorable roles through the force of their talent alone. I mean, Jesus, Cicely Tyson alone delivers a performance that feels as if she’s been enduring an entire films worth of pathos, and makes you feel it in a few short lines.

And while Writer/Director Bryan Barber may have no sense of story whatsoever, the guy sure knows what to do with a camera. Sections of this film are absolutely gorgeous, and often quite inventive. His camera work alone makes me want to go back and check out his music videos. Which of course only adds to further frustration with the film. The guy clearly isn’t a worthless director. He got great performances and stunning shots. If only he knew how to tell a story. Then he’d be someone to watch. Give this guy a great script and a producer that makes him stick to it, and he could make for one hell of a director. Just keep him the hell away from the editing room – because when the story isn’t being nonsensical, the editing sure is.

All in all, I cannot recommend this film at all. If you’re into Outkast, check out the soundtrack. But only check this out if you set your expectations incredibly low. Probably the biggest waste of two hours I’ve spent this week, and frankly, I haven’t done shit this week. At all.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.

Massawyrm

Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.







Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:34 a.m. CST

    But Harry Loved it

    by JuggFuckler

    But only because it is not put out by Fox.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:45 a.m. CST

    second

    by nef

    looks lame

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Finally

    by El_Aurens

    A reviewer who isn

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Now that's what I love. An honest review

    by chrth

    Shame, it sounds like a waste.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Serious Movies About Hip-Hop, Rap, R&B Suck.

    by FordPerfect

    Thats a fact! There are exceptions to that rule though and I am talking about Hustle & Flow, and 8 Mile, and 8 Mile was decent at best and Get Rich or Die Tryin? I say Fuck you to that worthless movie.Also, Friday doesn't count, it is a comedy not a serious movie. Rappers have a hard time pulling off their emotions and their problems on screen. Roll Bounce was not about rap it was about Soul and Funk and that movie wasn't great it was pretty good though. ATL? Don't even start there, that movie is a let down plain and simple. Those movies make it hard to feel for those characters and hard to understand what they are going through. Hustle & Flow makes you feel and you really do feel for D Jay and you know somthing bad is about to happen to him and when that thing happens you feel fucking terrible for him but it is all perfect. Fuck halfass Rap movies make great Rap Movies and everything about Rap will get better and the movies themselves will get better.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:52 a.m. CST

    You guys still read Harry's reviews?

    by JimBelushi

    What are you retarded? Harry is too afraid of getting knocked out of his wheelchair at Hollywood parties to criticize anyone but Brett Ratner or Fox Studios.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Southernplayalisticcadillakmuzik

    by JudgeNXcutioner

    is still my favorite OUTKAST album

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Gee, Harry loved it. Who should I believe?

    by Trazadone

    In case you didn't know it I was being sarcastic. Thanks for helping me avoid what sounds like a crapfest.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Who cares, bring on DREAMGIRLS already...

    by JohnGalt06

    Because you know you can't wait to see Eddie Murphy singing!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Eddie Murphey singing...

    by Massawyrm 1

    ...is like, one of the only parts of the 80's I DON'T want to relive, thank you very much. At least with "Boogie in your Butt" he was trying to be funny. jesus Christ.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:01 a.m. CST

    That's the only part of 80s you want to forget?

    by JohnGalt06

    I can think of 100s of things about the 80s best forgotten... pink Spandex, shoulder pads, Flock of Seagulls, hockey hair...

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Yeah...

    by Massawyrm 1

    ...but I'd willingly trade all that to see girls in Leg warmers and plastic braclets again....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Eddie Murphy singing...

    by Abin Sur

    I much prefer the melodies of Don Johnson to Eddie "My Girl Wants to Party All the Time" Murphy, thank you very much.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Fuck that Don Johnson bullshit...

    by Massawyrm 1

    and give me Patrick Swaze's "She's like the wind through my tree" an day!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Leave it to anxious white film geeks to slam Negroes...

    by heywood jablomie

    Seems like the only time a bad movie will get a really hard slam at this site is if it was made by, or largely featuring, Afro-Murricans. Somehow the very image of a large buck sends AICN geeks rushing back to the rec room, where they clutch their Boba Fett dolls, suck their thumbs and rock back and forth Rain Man-style.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Cheer up Wyrmy...

    by Bean_

    I thought it looked like shit too. Better luck next time :P

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:21 a.m. CST

    that's sad actually....

    by Datascream

    ...I've never heard of this movie. This is actually the first time I've heard of the movie at all, [unless you count the movie poster I saw when I watched Snakes on a Plane last night, great movie btw :D] but upon hearing the synopsis on the movie, I'm very disappointed. I think Andre Benjamin is a great actor, as well as a great musician and hell I don't even listen to hip hop or the like. But he's always turned out some original musical works that have grown on me in the past, and he's shown me he can act from "Four Brothers" and some other odd movies I've never watched. But as I said the story sounded promising, a 30's era musical sounds like something I would watch. Hell I even liked Chicago, regardless of the fact it was in the 20's (right? who cares it's not like 10 years is gonna change much anyways). So yeah, pretty disappointing to hear about this.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:27 a.m. CST

    I knew this movie was gonna suck

    by batzilla

    as soon as I saw the preview for the first time. give me a break! Some stupid rap losers making a movie is obviously gonna suck donkey balls.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:31 a.m. CST

    heywood jablomie

    by jackinitraw

    They should like it despite being shit because it has blacks? Thats racism. If the movie is shit (which it is) then its shit. You making a point to like it no matter what because its 'bling', or 'hola' or whatever word has been made up to suffice for the real words amongst that community is racist. So leave it to uppity negras to back their own no matter what and never recognize the hypocrisy in doing so. I'm still mad at Andre Benjamin for being the worst part of Revolver btw. Rappers need to stop trying to patch their egos with acting and fuckoff already.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:32 a.m. CST

    I'll wait for Mori's review

    by beastie

    ... and Anchorite, I wouldn't consider Outkast rappers. Listen to their most popular song, Hey Ya. Is there a single bit of rapping in that song? They are some of the most creative musicians on the planet. This movie, may suck, but that doesn't mean that they're uncreative musicians. Also, saying that rappers are lazy because they don't play they're own instruments is like saying actors are lazy because they don't write, direct and edit their own films. You cannot compare someone like Jay-Z to someone like Robert Plant. The two are artists in different mediums. Mass, I'm sorry, usually I trust your reviews, but, considering how much I have enjoyed Outkast's music, I think I'll see it for the performances alone.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Not liking this movie makes you racist?

    by JohnGalt06

    Come on, now... I didn't know Jesse Jackson was a regular on AintItCool. Actually, I really am sort-of looking forward to DREAMGIRLS... Bill Condon is good director and it should be good (provided Beyonce learns how to act).

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:40 a.m. CST

    The funniest thing about Big Boi

    by fiester

    Is that "boi" is the spelling used to gay subcultures to connote an effete homosexual who takes it up the ass.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Maybe he's trying to tell you something, fiester...

    by JohnGalt06

    Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Wouldn't it be something

    by BannedOnTheRun

    ...if they guy who's handed the Bible before the gunfight is shot and (supposedly) killed, but it turns out the Bible in his chest pocket stopped the bullet? Is my Writers Guild membership in the mail now?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Not all rappers are lazy.

    by Leland Specter

    There are a few rappists out there that come up with some pretty creative jives. But yeah, the rest of them are pretty much lazy and talentless. When they try to sound smart it just seems like they're reading a dictionary. Silly rappists.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:06 a.m. CST

    heywood jablomie

    by FordPerfect

    I know you won't respond to this because your a pussy. I know you are a pussy based on your one post then you ran away. Anyway read my post above and it will prove you don't know a goddamn thing about movies.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Gus Van Rant

    by FordPerfect

    You are retarded and gay for Kevin Smith.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Gus Van Rant

    by readyoufool

    What about "Well, shave my poodle!" or just "shave my poodle!"? Shouldn't they have a place in the pantheon of sayings on this site? I think you're racist for not agreeing with me on that. oooh! how about that? "I think you're racist!" That could be the new "holy mackeral" which was "too soon" which was "first".

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:09 a.m. CST

    I think you're racist...

    by readyoufool

    just trying it out.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Idlewild- The most underrated movie of the year.

    by Lovecraftfan

    I managed to catch a screening of this and I have to say Im really surprised at the hate thats going on. While the story is formula I thought the movie was great. I liked the characters, LOVED the music, the editing during the dance sequences were brilliant, and it was distinct. So many people complain how werid it is as if thats bad. Ya would hate to see a visually distinct film. I thought it was different and fun and the title sequence is brilliant.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:17 a.m. CST

    "plot holes you could drive the Porkchop Express

    by Zino

    ...through" is the new "I think you're racist", which was the new "Holy Mackeral" which was the new "Too Soon" which was the new "First". Great line, Massa.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Wonder if anyone will agree with me

    by Lovecraftfan

    when the movie comes out. Surely someone will find it as enjoyable as I did. I love how the critics slam the music style for different and weird. Yes the last thing we want is creative music.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:35 a.m. CST

    "plot holes you could drive the Porkchop Express

    by Lost Prophet

    through". As opposed to SR. Which you all loved. Christ, what a shit summer of films. Bring on 2007. BTW YB, do we get paid for this, or do we have to be properly AICN accredited? just in case: I am typing this on my IMAC, whilst listening to my what I recently downloaded from I-TUNES. I am intending to go and drink copious amounts of GUINNESS after work (I will accept payment in product) etc.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Too Soon! For Massa to call Harry on his BS 'review'!

    by brycemonkey

    Nice work cutting through to the facts Massa and not hiding behind 'I love film so I'll say all films are good' platitudes. Now where did I put my ORBITZ...?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Saw it.

    by Ranson

    Loved it. Can't say the problems in the review aren't valid, I just didn't go in expecting the next great film. Instead, it was just the most fun I'd had in a theater in a long time.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:46 a.m. CST

    by Lovecraftfan

    Thank you Ranson

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Faizon Love is one of your favorite actors...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    working today? Waaa? About 99% of the guy's filmog is crap. And heywood jablomie, you're a prick of the highest order.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Superman Returns would've been better as a musical...

    by JohnGalt06

    Do NOT make me break into a rendition of "All That Stuff!" because you know I will.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11 a.m. CST

    So did anyone pop a cap up in the theater?

    by I Dunno

    Harry's review was shameless even for Harry.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:05 a.m. CST

    I think you're racist!

    by nemesisdarkside

    Holy Mackeral! Too Soon! First! I think I covered it. Oh yeah... Massawyrm has a beer and cheats on his wife! Hulk Hogan should be in this, brother! And finally..Plot holes you could drive the Porkchop Express through.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Khrushchev's due at Idlewild.

    by durhay

    Not one airplane in this movie. For shame.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:23 a.m. CST

    OMG!

    by nemesisdarkside

    Just read Harry's "review"/commercial! My lord, that was disgusting! I usually think you guys are a little hard on Harry, but that was just wrong! That blatant, undisguised product placement was just offensive. Especially the part about the PSP/SW-Lego game. That part just came out of nowhere. Plus how long has Harry been mentioning Yoko every introductory sentence of his reviews/reports? Is Yoko a codename, or is she really Japanese? How old is she? Do I care? Whatever. For some reason I have a deep desire to chew some ORBIT gum, while buying LEGO STAR WARS for my PSP, before watching OUTKAST in IDLEWILD.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:30 a.m. CST

    CHOCK FULL O' NUTS

    by plantpage55

    Did anyone already mention Jackie Robinson's involvement in the "Chock full o' Nuts" company? Methinks I smell rascism in the review title. SNOOGINS! Just stirring up shit ;)

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:33 a.m. CST

    ANYONE who thinks

    by plantpage55

    anyone who thinks the term "hip-hop culture" implies rascism OBVIOUSLY doesn't have the same problem in your town that I do in mine. Where fat white kids wear b-ball jerseys that are too big EVEN FOR THEM, listen to rap blaring in there shitty 1994 Corsicas, and wear chains and talk like they're tough shit. (those jerseys may, just may, fit Harry)

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Did Harry change his review or something?

    by RezE11even

    Or are you all smoking crack. I admit that Harry rim jobs some films sometimes, but his review was definately negative and touched on most of the same points that Massa did. The only difference? Harry still found it enjoyable.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:43 a.m. CST

    *DO NOT DEBATE ME ON THIS!*

    by brycemonkey

    Are we still doing that one? And anchorite didn't you hear? It's hard out there for a pimp...

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Thx Don Lockwood

    by nemesisdarkside

    "First of all, her name isn't really Yoko, you tools. He's trying to be clever by giving her a nickname like Moriarty or Quint." Now I can sleep easy!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Anchorite...

    by beastie

    I realize that hip-hop culture goes far beyond rap. However, I do not believe that all rappers are lazy and quite a few play their own instruments, Andre included. Others include The Roots, Gym Class Heroes, and (sorry) The Beastie Boys. I'll conceed the Plant thing, though. I never much cared too much for classic rock, so I mixed him up with Page. Also, I think quite a few people and organizations have classified Outkast into the 'rap' genre because that is how they started and people don't know what other catagory they would fit into at this point. Outkast has continually broken out of molds that they have, themselves, created on each new album and pushed the boundaries the genres that they dabble in. At this point, I think they fit a little bit in the R&B category and a little bit in the alternative category.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Do yourself a favor Anchorite...

    by Garbageman33

    Give MF Doom a try. I guarantee it's more creative than 99.9% of the music out there. Then, if that doesn't make your head explode, move on to the Roots, Mos Def or Madlib. There's some good hip-hop out there. You just have to wade through a bunch of bitches, hoes and Cristal to find it.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 12:20 p.m. CST

    I think you're racist

    by zer0cool2k2

    This sounds (and looks) like Outkast's "Under the Cherry Moon". Problem is, they didn't have a "Purple Rain" first.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 12:34 p.m. CST

    I think you're ALL racist!

    by readyoufool

    ...bunch of damn dirty porch monkeys...

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Macacas

    by brokebackcowboy

    Each and every single one of you.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:31 p.m. CST

    I kind of like the Outkast guys and their retro vibe

    by superninja

    but this movie is looking like a stinker.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:34 p.m. CST

    As far as popular, mainstream rap/hip hop go...

    by dr_buggerlugs

    Outkast are pretty much one of the only acts still attempting to forge an interesting, original and creative path - after Stankonia, rather than roll out a similar follow up, they put out Speakerboxx/Love Below which as a follow up sounded like suicide yet ended up as yet another massive success. To be honest, I'm still looking forward to this flick because whether it's a failure or not, it's the product of a group at the top of their game and it should be an interesting film to check out regardless.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Eh, Allen used too many sports analogies anyway.

    by superninja

    I read an article in National Review clearly trying to sell the guy. Didn't work.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Anchorite, I'm not a huge fan of rap...

    by glodene

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Damn enter button!

    by glodene

    But there are some hidden gems that you should check out, suchas GZA/RZA's Liquid Swords & Danger Mouse & MF Doom's collaboration called The Mouse and the Mask. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:44 p.m. CST

    still sounds better than _under the cherry moon_ and...

    by duanejones

    ..._glitter_, and _give my regards to broad street_, and any number of vanity musicals since, what, _that's entertainment ii_, or something. i don't doubt massa's critiques and am confident this will seem less redolent of the jazz age than some well-budgeted music video, with speaking parts. i'm also confident terrence howard belts it out the park. i mean, is this not the WORST summer for american film, ever? not to distract us from the argument at hand, but who could possibly argue it is not? it's a shame to take what you can get in the multiplexes but i'll take ambitious, atlantan failures every time over, i don't know, _step up_ or fill in the crappy blank. what else can us outkast fans say? don't quit yer day job, fellas.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Damn!

    by nemesisdarkside

    "I think you're racist" started as a joke to redicule heywood jablomie's needless and unwarranted cry of "white-geek"-racism. Now people are actually using racist slurs as comedy. Almost forgot this was AICN.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 1:56 p.m. CST

    DANGERDOOM...

    by nemesisdarkside

    album is pure awesome-ness, but then again an MF Doom and Dangermouse album with Adult Swim cameos was always going to be awesome.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I being a child of the70's...

    by glodene

    Yearn for the days of yore, when we had real artist like Little Feat; Steely Dan; EW&F, The Eagles; Led Zeppelin; Jethro Tull; The Ojays; The Dramatics; Elton John; Marvin Gaye; Stevie Wonder; War; P-Funk; Ohio Players; Todd Rundgren; The Doobie Bros.; joni Mitchell; Kate Bush; The Who; The Rolling Stones; The Beatles; etc.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:07 p.m. CST

    DANGERDOOM

    by glodene

    Yeah! I love the tracks Cross-Hair & Sofa King...Aww hell, the whole album is great and MF Doom has a flow that's reminicent of old school Rakim.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    MACACA!!!!

    by brokebackcowboy

    What George Allen screams when he's getting reamed by Jeff Gannon. Maybe he wanted some of that bronze-skinned man love?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Hip-Hop Starter Set

    by Garbageman33

    Danger Doom - El Chupa Nibre, Old School, The Mask. Madvillain - All Caps. Mos Def - Close Edge. Black Star - Definition. The Pharcyde - Runnin'. Dead Prez - Radio Freq. Blackalicious - Make You Feel that Way. The Roots - Boom. Go to iTunes and give a few of these songs 30 seconds of your time. It may give you a better opinion of hip-hop. There's nary a mention of Cristal or 22-inch rims or any of that other crap that drags all of hip-hop into the gold-plated toilet.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:15 p.m. CST

    anchorite

    by nemesisdarkside

    Mainstream Hip-Hop music is pretty embarrasing these days. Plus it doesn't help that this version of Hip-Hop has pretty much infiltrated most forms of popular media. Unfortunately the real, creative Hip-Hop artists are destined to stay "underground" or go "gangsta", as apparently everyone wants to hear songs about killing people, sports cars and ugly jewellery. As opposed to socio-polital themes, geeky references and life in general.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    yo, glo...

    by duanejones

    what aboot the roots? as your live bands go, i'd say they're definitely worthy of a joni mitchell session ca. her jaco era. ?uestlove's work with the philadelphia experiement is also more accomplished, to my ears, than many of the groups you mention above. not zeppelin, tho'...never zeppelin. (btw -- am i the only person mystified by spike lee's decision to NOT include "when the levees break" into his documentary? it's all i could hear in my own mind seeing images of the aftermath of hurricane katrina...i thought zepp should have reformed to play a katrina benefit with a 50-minute version of that song alone!) on the worthy hip-hop tip, let's not forget the djs: the whole x-ecutioners fam (esp. rob swift + roc raida), q-bert, babu, premier, the late great j. dilla, kutmasta kurt, &c., &c. as for your masters of ceremony, mf doom is hype...dope, even...and his "special herbs + spices" disc with mf grimm is mf bad-ass. then there's the whole of the wu fam, outkast, aesop rock, el-p, cannibal ox, kool keith, rasco, brand nubian, de la soul, tribe called quest (once again back is the incredible tcq!), public enemy...that's just of the top of my, uh, dome. as always, no one we're hearing on "power" radio, at all...

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 2:59 p.m. CST

    big black penis envy syndrome

    by Ilovebigpenis

    Its a proven fact that black men have bigger penises then white men. Its quite obvious that mass was suffering from big black penis envy syndrome when writing his review. I can't blame him, sitting in the theater with his small white baby penis and having to confront andres, big bois and vings massive, king kong like hickery farms 8 pound summer sausage like black penises. Stop the hate of the mighty black penis!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:10 p.m. CST

    anchorite, maybe it's just that George Allen doesn't

    by superninja

    want to be president, so he decided to bow out gracefully?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:33 p.m. CST

    George Allen wants a Big Black Penis

    by brokebackcowboy

    to stir his caca. Oh ... Oh ... Macaca!!!!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Overheard in George Allen's office ...

    by brokebackcowboy

    Ohh ... uh. UH ... Ohhhh .. oh yeah ... ogod ... ogod .... uh ... maca ... maacaaa .... uh ... no! Too Soon!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Underusing Macy Gray

    by DeadPanWalking

    That sucks that she doesn't have much to do. She was awesome in Spider Man.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Ilovebigpenis

    by brokebackcowboy

    First of all, I don't like typing your name. Secondly, are African penises the same size as the North American variety? And are black penis sizes uniform across the United States, or do they vary regionally?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Macy Gray, thespian

    by Garbageman33

    If she can convince people she's not high, that's what I'd call an awesome acting job. In fact, she should win an academy award for pretending not to be high all the time.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    The penises in Washington DC are very big

    by brokebackcowboy

    Yes, especially Jeff Gannon's. He has a friggin rocket that even black men envy. George Allen is one lucky man.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 3:58 p.m. CST

    The only good rapper is a rapper that's dead

    by BannedOnTheRun

    ...on it. Like Pitman, for example: www.pitmanworld.com

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 4:24 p.m. CST

    AAAAAWWWWW HORSESHIT!!!!

    by HumbertHumbert

    You think rappers are lazy?! You try make FIVE BEATS A DAY for THREE SUMMERS!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Word, JudgeNXcutioner...

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Word. One of my favorite albums of all time.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Ok, we all agree Rap sucks. WHat about the movie?

    by zekmoe

    It looks like the worst movie ever deficated onto a screen. There is no way I'll see this, even on late nite TV. I'd sooner read the National Review than listen to this movie soundtrack. Pure and utter crap.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm

    by AshleyMonday

    Great review this time. I knew this movie would be terrible.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 5:43 p.m. CST

    I be bringin' straight up old skool cred, yo!

    by BannedOnTheRun

    This is the part of the thread where the 30-something white boys drop some names to show how they appreciated "real" rap back in the day when it didn't suck. Me, I like Wiley. See, I'm, uh, down.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 5:44 p.m. CST

    What Happened?

    by nemesisdarkside

    I leave this TB for a few hours and I come back to hear anchorite praising the mighty black penis and people wanting more Macy Gray! Ok ok, I know the Macy Gray statements were tongue in cheek, but don't jinx it. I really could live without hearing, seeing Macy Gray until I leave this mortal coil.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 5:48 p.m. CST

    No, just no.

    by nemesisdarkside

    "without hearing or seeing Macy Gray AGAIN" I really don't wanna die and then have to spend an eternity in the company of Macy Gray. That would truly be Hell!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 5:58 p.m. CST

    I love Macy Gray!

    by Thylacine

    She's Grrraaaaaaaaaaayt!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Macy Gray looks like she has a big penis

    by brokebackcowboy

    She sounds like she has one, at least. Penis!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Anchorite ... here's a napkin

    by brokebackcowboy

    You have some, uh, butter on your mouth. Heh.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:05 p.m. CST

    And your all surprised...why?

    by alienindisguise

    Outkast are a fuckin' mess to begin with with about a half second attention span. these "black" movies need to get past the cliches which they fall into every single time. It's like they're banking on their audience to be the mentally stunted black teen who just wants to see asses shaking and numbnuts firing guns. I want to see an intelligent black film made by a skilled black filmmaker for once this decade!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:12 p.m. CST

    When will we get the "Good Times" feature film?

    by fiester

    Come on. That's the black movie everyone wants to see. Who would you cast in it?

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Dammit.

    by Jack Burton

    I was looking forward to this when the trailers first appeared the end of last year. I guess it was delayed for a reason.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:31 p.m. CST

    I Am Guy Goma, Yes.

    by HumbertHumbert

    Why was the headline changed from bullshit to bullpoo?! What a bunch of fucking peepee-heads!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:51 p.m. CST

    alienindisguise

    by Lovecraftfan

    Oh come on even if you dont like the story the movie is visually amazing so he is at the least a talented filmaker. For crying out loud the titale sequence alone is so cool.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 6:52 p.m. CST

    edit: title

    by Lovecraftfan

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:08 p.m. CST

    your table is broke

    by itanshi

    thought i tell ya

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:17 p.m. CST

    The only pre-dominantly black movie...

    by glodene

    I enjoyed was Love Jones.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Andre isn't even all that keen on making music

    by TJ50

    Andre 3000 hasn't made any secret of wanting to fulfil his record contract ASAP, so he can get out of music altogether and get into acting.

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Fuck all ya'll!

    by GravyAkira

    Ill go see this in the theaters. OutKast is a truly revolutionary group and has produced some of the best music I have ever heard in my lifetime. You dont have to agree with me. Just my humble oppinion. 2008(nothing to do with OutKast)

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Listen to Idlewild the rock band instead

    by Neo Zeed

    The Remote Part was awesome!

  • Aug. 23, 2006, 10:38 p.m. CST

    bullpoo

    by Flux_brown

    hahahahahaha....its got a funny sound......bullpoo bullpoo...its almost magical *tear*

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 12:26 a.m. CST

    Sounds Super Fucking Gay

    by The Ender

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 1:58 a.m. CST

    lovecraftfan: different and weird

    by generasputinhole

    ...does not equal "creative." being different and weird just make it ...different...and, uh, weird.

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 2:28 a.m. CST

    why is this article...

    by skynetbauxi

    enclosing all the earlier articles in a spoiler warning frame? does this have a higher meaning?

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 1:03 p.m. CST

    I used to like Outkast...

    by wash

    ...but it's pretty amazing how quickly they've devolved to shit. Grow some balls guys and stop using the Outkast name because all it is is a pair of over-indulgent, unfocused solo careers stapled together using the brand name.

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 1:11 p.m. CST

    negroes just dont make good movies

    by batzilla

    why that be? say looky heara i axe you a qwershtun.

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Ya guyz rap sucks lol

    by Zain

    ya guyz raps sucks lol! Try listening to rappers with an IQ over 12, Outkast is a great start.

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Batzilla

    by Garbageman33

    There's a special place in hell reserved for you. Incidentally, your roommate is Don King.

  • Aug. 24, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Bullpoo = Nipples on Batsuit

    by nemesisdarkside

    Couldn't resist.