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Ok - You've Seen SNAKES ON A PLANE, but have you ever heard a BLACK SNAKE MOAN?
Hey folks, Harry here... Devin over at CHUD got sent some blurry photos of the new BLACK SNAKE MOAN posters. I have to confess something. I've had the posters in my house for over a month. Actually - not only that... I've seen BLACK SNAKE MOAN. I'll be writing up a full review of the film here very very soon. It's incredible. The latest film from the director of HUSTLE & FLOW. An amazing story about two broken messed up people that give each other a reason to hold onto something stronger than either. A big damn chain and the coolest radiator you'll ever see. Last year I named HUSTLE & FLOW as my pick for best film of the year... this year - BLACK SNAKE MOAN and THE HOST are neck and neck for me at this point. It's a movie drenched in black blues and sweating at 24 frames a second. AND FOLKS... When you hear Samuel L Jackson SING "mutherfucker" you'll cream your jeans, panties and leave wet rorshachs in your seats. UNBELIEVABLE. Anyway - here's some crystal photos of the amazing posters. And click on them for bigger better versions!
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nice
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first
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Goddamnit, how is he getting parts? DAMNIT WHY in major motion pictures no less, pathetic. i refuse to see this in the theater because of JT, and i'm reluctant to fucking rent it/dl it. goddamn justin timberlake pussy cocksucker.
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that in that poster, sam jackson looks like danny glover on a good day?
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how could you keep this secret from us?!?! i want to see this movie yesterday (but i'll settle for that trailer that supposedly played with that other snake movie)
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Are these fan-made or something? after reading harry's description of the movie, you don't expect 'justin timberlake' on the poster..
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his black snake right in her tight little asshole
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Can't wait to see this.
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Is this porn or what? I hope Jackson utters his infamous "I want that mutherfuckin' Ricci on my mutherfuckin' snake!"
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JT was out of this movie. I thought he quit or something?
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in glorious quicktime?
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"-on this motherfuckin' white ho!"
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Seriously, this looks like exactly the kind of movie Quentin is preparing to "make" with Death Proof. For once I'm actually excited to see Sam Jackson in something...
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Goodbye luscious titties...gone forever. It's like Reese Witherspoon all over again.
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I've had it with the mothergrabbin' snakes in the mothergrabbin' title!
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can't wait!
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Yeah, bondage is fun, and I'm more than a little turned on by the image of a bound Christina Ricci on all fours, but selling this as a "down south" film with characters bound in chains?
Hmmmm
Guessing we're gonna hear a bit of a stink about these posters.
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...and it ain't too good, not remotely as good as Hustle & Flow, but bare-breasted Ricci--good lawd! And loooooooots of 'er.
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Christini Ricci looks hot as a sexed up hoe and nympho who can't get enough snake...dick!!! However, instead of managing to cure her, I hope the Samuel L. Jackson fails. Rather, I'd like to see her cure him, and seduce his ass into becoming as sexually insatiable as she is!!! The movie should end with them feasting on each other, sexually speaking, non stop as both become one another's personal whores!!! Now that's a movie!!! Fuck Snakes In A Plane...Bring on Snakes Up Christina Ricci's Skirt!!! BTW, she has claimed that she is too short to get the big roles...I say bullshit to that!!! She is one of the best actors working today...and will hopefully be my wife!!!
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that movie sounds real keen
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The term...Down South...is a sexual metaphor for getting to the stuff under your waist line...as in sexual organs. And of course, Going Down South means giving head!!! So when the film makers say...It's Hotter Down South...they mean these people are sexed up...and hot and bothered!!! In other words, she's wet as rain and wants to get fucked...and Sam is as hard as steel, and wants to fuck her...but sadly, he's trying to resist!!! Fuck that!!! Tear that ass up Sam!!!
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why not review now? waiting for the review to be ok'd by the studio? =
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...then clubs him to death with a giant black dick, I'll be happy.
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Crap? Crap! (By the way, how do you spot an aging male virgin in a talkback? He will be the one(s) talking a lot about "tight pussies and black dicks", "tight asses and black snakes", "my big snake in [actress's name]", etc., etc.)
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He (they) will also be the one(s) furiously protesting or trying to seem "ironic" a few lines below this.
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'nuff said - http://tinyurl.com/r3ffn
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Nice, strong "pulp" vibe there. You might even say...GRINDHOUSE.
And SoaP was great: right up there with the first Die Hard. -
I'm way behind, but wanted to give you kudos for the timberlake as a chain/guitar line...funny shit...I'm still pissed because I heard he actually can pass as an actor. not an edward norton, but certainly a tobey maguire (who's best work was imitating Screech on SNL) or a keanu (who's best work was BEING imitated by Tobey Maguire on SNL)
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im so. . .i dont even know. i cant think of a single smartassed thing to say. fuckin' harry! i'll get you for this, and your little yoko too.
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They showed the trailer for this tonight before SoaP. The audience went wild seeing Samuel L. Jackson on screen and were thrilled at Ricci's outfit, but they totally erupted when we got to see the chain. I heard some one around me say, "I bet they changed the name of this movie was they knew SoaP was gonna be big."
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first those Grindhouse ones, now these. yeah yeah, supposed to be retro or something, right? here's an update: Retro is codeword for shitty.
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Justin Timberlake? Is Hollywood running out of good actors or something? First Tyrese in Transformers and now Timberlake? That guy probably couldn't do a convincing job playing himself. What the heck is going on here!? Though I did like him in that episode of "Punk'd" where he was about to cry and called his mom.
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Christ, as if his Disney version of pimping wasn't horrible enough?
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Did you think the Pulp Fiction poster was shitty also? Cause that's the first one I remember using that beat-up vintage style.
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ok be done with it! ok be done with it! ok be done with it!. I'm bringing sexy back! haha easily the gayest song of the summer!
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To quote the immortal Biff Tannen "you sound like an idiot when you say it wrong." But what can you expect? You wear it as a badge of honor that you don't know what the lyric really is, because, hey, you may be anonymously talking shit about Justin Timberlake but you don't really care. You're like Donnie Wahlberg.
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Are curvy actresses forced to diet in Hollywood? Jennifer Connelly, Lindsay Lohan and now Christina Ricci have lost their lucious curves. Why god WHY! If that ever happens to the holy brunette trilogy- Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Monica Bellucci- my life won't be worth living.
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you sure do spend a lot of time and energy imagining Timberlake's ballsack. That's not gay at all.
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Totally like that white chick from "Hustle and Flow". I guess if it's fro the same director anything goes. Also Sam "The Man" Jackson looks like a lost cast member from Prison Break, I wonder how the kinfolks will react to those heavy chains he has?
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I don't know Harry, I've seen some PRETTY fucking cool radiators in my time. I've been around the block. I loved Hustle & Flow so I can't wait for the movie, but for now I'm gonna have to assume that you are exaggerating about the coolness of this radiator. I'm gonna try to go in thinking MAYBE top ten coolest radiators I've seen, at best. Because I don't want to be disappointed. Let's not hype this one up too bud, there are alot of radiator fans who are gonna get their hopes up too high and their hearts will be crushed.
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i heard flames are this season's must have.
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Who wants to see an actress with a healthy looking body? Natural perfect breasts are so overrated! Lohan, Ricci and Connelly were so FAT before! Bring on the emaciated girls with A-cups or store-bought boobs dammit! Girls who eat meat and carbs are filthy gluttons! Lipo should be free for all aspiring actresses! Thank God we have all this skinny rolemodels to show teenage girls the way! In 10 yrs hopefully all actresses will be stick thin! We will look back at Mean Girls, Buffalo 66, The Roketeer and be like "Eww they let those heffers get in front of the camera!" ;P I'm sorry for all the Exclamation points!!!!!!!!!
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Will we hear Ricci moan? Sam should star in Boogie Nights 2 as a rival porn actor out to outbone Dirk.
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don't ya think?
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http://groups.google.com/group/soapnyc
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Now THAT'S hot....
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I'm there! Although I do admit the girl needs to put on some weight. You've made it this far in Hollywood by picking unique and quirky roles, not by being as thin as a beanpole.
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Not that "Departed" crap.
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are where it's at! To hell with these skeletal broads trying to look hot with their sunken in chests and drawn out faces!I wanna see hot chicks in movies, not crack whore zombies!
As far as actresses go, Salma Hayek=PERFECTION OF THE FEMALE BODY. -
here's one of the pics she sent to the director to convince him to cast her: http://tinyurl.com/o23ly
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It's the 21th century after all. Female equality and all that.
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ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN POSTER!!!
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more than "snakes". I love the look of the posters, almost look like so fucked up comic book.
http://www.obsessedwithfilm.com/ -
That poster of Ricci raised something else entirely. Mercy, mercy me....
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Per BoxofficeMojo.com. WTC 3rd (10.8m), Accepted 4th (10.1m) and Step Up ended in 5th (9.86m).
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Bring back the curves dammit! F*ck all those mini-skinny actresses (with the exception of Kiera Knightly. I'd do her in a second! The rest of them; I'd just take them to In and Out and say "Take. Eat.")
........ps. Sam Jackson's the Muthafuckin man! -
at the creative arts emmys, and she is about as big around as my little finger. teensy, eensy. she has definitely left her boobage by the wayside.
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Please try to pick films that were released in this calendar year for the rest of us that aren't seeing films six months before they are released. Last year it was V FOR VENDETTA. Now, it's BLACK SNAKE MOAN.
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I hope that's not in response to my post? Coz that would be just too silly. If you got my post then I apologise now!
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what's it like being a worthless, self-defeating cunt?
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....but I read on a movie blog the other day from someone who saw a roughcut that theres "explicit scene" with Ricci and Justin Limperlake. He said no way what he saw makes a R rating.
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Would you STOP writing shit like, "you'll cream your jeans, panties and leave wet rorshachs in your seats"??? Look, I liked your infamous "Blade II" review as much as the next guy ... it was the sort of car-crash of an essay that you couldn't turn away from. Disturbing, but compelling. Then I realized that you weren't pulling a stunt, you were just doing your "gross bodily function" shtick. It's no longer funny gross, dude. It's just disconcerting. I'm not being a stodge, or a fuddy-duddy. When I read about fluids coming out of bodily orifices (because Sam Jackson sings? WTF?!?), my eyes roll and I skip a paragraph. Try it: """When you see (FILL IN BLANK) to (FILL IN BLANK), your pimples will explode with white puss and your eyes will crust over. Your legs will go gangrene and pale-green fluid with spew from your rotting flesh.""" Okay, now, was that fun to read? Funny? Cute? Clever? Hip? Maybe you think so. Maybe you can't wait for JACKASS 2. Or maybe you need a new fucking shtick and find a way to praise a film besides saying again and again, "You'll need Depends because your pants will be full of shit." Christ, Harry ...
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She looks better when the yo-yo's on the upswing though, if you know what I mean.
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but it loses the courage of its convictions halfway through and pusses out. sad.
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"I have to confess something. I've had the posters in my house for over a month. Actually - not only that... I've seen BLACK SNAKE MOAN."????? if this website thing is a hassle, just drop it and dive headfirst into producing.
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I'm late to this but Harry's style is not improving any. Start off your article with why you are too cool for school. I was waiting for the line "I would have posted it weeks ago but Christina Ricci was pole dancing in my living room while Sam Jackson told me how cool I was."
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I thought it was just my imagination, but I see it too!!
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Fisrt I read a bunch of posts on here about how "fat" Bryce Dallas Howard is, now i read how it's a shame that Christina Ricci and Reese Witherspoon have lost weight.What the fuck man......my opinion if anyone cares is that to many chicks in hollywood are too fucking thin.I call it the Sara Michelle Gellar syndrome. Look at the first season of Buffy,it's kind of like seeing Reese Witherspoon in Fear or Christina Ricci in , well i fucking forget what she was in where she was all hot, oh well you get my point. Movie plot sounds dumb to me though, like some weirdo with an interaccial fetish got a budget and high paid actors. Sam Jackson still kicks ass no matter what shit he finds himself in. I want him to play Nick Fury probably worse than he does.
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She had a boob job done.
Not the usual kind, though; she has had a breast size reduction. If you thought those bazookas were too much for a little girl like that, well, so did Christina.
So there's the reason why her funbags are no longer the size they are in her early photos.
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