Cool News
Harry is drunk off his ass and writing about BEERFEST!!!
I probably shouldn’t be typing right now. You see, I’m drunk. Drunk on good German Malt beer things. Drunk from Chugging with characters in this movie called BEERFEST – and frankly – Drunk on laughing myself fucking silly.
I’m not usually a beer guy. I say that, though if you cracked open my fridge right now – you’d find a case of Shiner and Guinness Stout in there … along with tons of nutritious and wholesome yummies. But frankly – most of that is there for entertaining drinkers when they come over for movie nights. I, myself, rarely get wasted.
That said, I was prepared to drink Broken Lizard under the fucking table tonight. I wanted the Beer Crown. As a god of old. I wanted to make them weep out of their sad desire. I wanted the crown to be in Texas. For Texas. For Austin. And ultimately for the Alamo Drafthouse. So – I had a high protein and carb meal – so I could handle my swimming pool of beer. I was prepared, ready and willing to make a complete fucking drunken fool of myself. I was committed to the task at hand.
When Yoko, Father Geek and I arrived – I could see the teeming throngs of beer thirsting AICNers lined up for the task. Hell – even the Longhorn Hellraisers were there. I felt these drunken madmen that paint themselves for every game – yet are geek enough to make it through BNAT – deserved a seat at BEERFEST. How ready was the audience? There were people that had been there for hours – ordering buckets of beer – IN LINE. They were priming the pump… so to speak.
No sooner than I enter the building than I hear the joy kill news. You see. The Texas Organization of Sucking The Life Out Of Getting Excessively Fucked Up For The Pure Sport Of Seeing Who Was The Biggest Beer Guzzling Geek In The Theater… That’s right… The fucking GOVERNMENT was fucking with our little thing. We had designated drivers. But just like how you can’t take liquids on a plane – they said we couldn’t chug liquids in a form of a contest. I raise my Lone Star Finger In Your Beaurocratic Direction!
This wasn’t really a Drafthouse sponsored contest. This was a personal challenge. An alcohol induced athletic competition. This was BEERFEST goddamn it, and I wanted to fucking win. I was so sure of my drinking prowess… that I was gonna stock the team with 3 AICN girls and my light-weight beer drinking amateur best friend, RoRo. “Landfill” my ass… wait, that came out wrong. Ewww… that didn’t work either. LANDFILL is the name of Kevin’s character in the film… But dammit, if he’s Landfill… I’m New Jersey. I can take him.
Ok… So I’m rambling. I’m permitted, I’m drunk. And if you’re reading this you’re probably thinking, I should be drunk more often.
Anyways… the Movie.
Wait – before the movie. There was the Bratwurst Eating Contest. And QUINT did not win. There was much sorrow. Apparently Texas doesn’t have a government agency to outlaw the contest where the one swallowing the most phalluses could win… but beer swilling… out. In Texas? Who are these communists? This is SOUTH AUSTIN – beer comes out of tits for babies here! Sigh. Still bitter. Some seriously devoted dude in a green condom head thing won. He did it with gusto.
Then it came time for the movie.
The STRANGE BREW teaser trailer felt like the greatest opener ever for this film. And the JACKASS 2 trailer made my tooth hurt – once during BEERFEST I went out to take a piss – and saw Johnny Knoxville coming out of our screening, so he was there. I could out drink him to, I bet. (not)
I found – before the Alamo’s spots and trailers were over… and before the movie started… I had downed 3 steins of beer/malt beer stuff from Germany. I was feeling good.
Now the film, BEERFEST is fucking funny. I mean that. It’s not that I was drunk and thinking everything was funny, it might be that, but if it was funny just because I was drunk… isn’t that exactly what a movie called BEERFEST is supposed to be? This is a drinking film. Sneak the beer into the theater and get fucked up with this thing. If you’re in Austin or have a Drafthouse location near you… GO. This film is a blast.
What happens? Well – there’s a lot of fucking beer drunk. A lot. These strangely compelling games, that made more sense the drunker I got were captivating, and all I could think was… this is so much better than Celebrity Poker. There should be a “BAR CHANNEL” where it’s just the best beer drinking, story telling, quarters playing folks in the world – interrupted by sporadic boobs being bared. That channel would rock.
Of course – fuck watching it, Drink Beer, hit a tit bar and have fun. Wait. That’s a sure way to kill your liver. But I never really liked liver, unless it was fried at Threadgill’s and came from a chicken. That’s some good shit.
Anyway – Two Broken Lizard dudes make a pair of asses out of themselves, by being lightweights when they stumble into BEERFEST where they learn that their Grandfather was a thieving stable boy and that their Great Grandmother was a dirty German whore.
Humiliated – they return to the U.S. to put together an all-star team of ex-college drinkers and gamers they used to know back when they did this silly shit. The director apparently became, like Rav, one of those trolls that hang under bridges letting you touch their cock for a dollar – but will suck you off for $5. I know it doesn’t make sense – but it really was funny. You just have to see it.
In fact – I’m not going to try to explain the humor – or tell you what happens. You know the story. Honor is lost and it must be reclaimed. That’s the story. But along the way – you see lots and lots and lots of hot titties all over the place. You learn crazy drinking games that’ll kill you. And you find out what the real Das Boot is.
Of the Broken Lizard films… I wholeheartedly declare this one a great fucking time. I mean it. I like SUPER TROOPERS, Have found CLUB DREAD to grow on me… But DUKES OF HAZZARD just didn’t do it for me at all. But you know what. This film is so fucking funny – that it makes me want to watch DUKES right now – just to see if I was just a fucking stick in the mud…. Because this one kicked 9 layers of ass and blew me 3 times.
I have no idea how funny this movie will be to you. But for me – it was easily the funniest film I’ve seen this year – and I really didn’t think it would be. The audience was shouting out supportive statements to the contestants, clapping in time with the music and cheering characters forward… oh – and laughing their asses off. Of course, that was the Alamo Drafthouse… and the audience was really really fucked up. Worst Q&A ever. The Broken Lizard guys were ok… but our audience was a mess. Everybody thought they were an obscure comedian, asking jokes that they thought were questions – that at the end of the sentence proved to be neither. The BL guys would just sort of stand there… look at them and acknowledge the lethal dose of alcohol that that person had flowing through their blood stream.
Check out BEERFEST – it’s funnier than you think, even if you think it’s fucking funny.
-
+ Expand All
-
My first, first? Woot!
-
Wow. I did not see that one coming. Who is he again? Reese Witherspoon's house-husband? I think Liev Schreiber would have been a better choice, but I guess it's gonna be an all pretty-boy cast for the Dark Knight. (at least until the various dis-figurements!)
-
This suit is NOT black. This suit is black not. This suit is black...NOT.
-
Harry's probably sitting naked on the toilet with explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting into his bathtub. It happened last time he was sick. This time'll be even worse.
-
It's so tiny. Is it Yoko? Is it Scarlet? WTF?
-
...does that mean the site will really start sucking, Harry and Moriarity will have a falling out, Harry will be shot in the back after a brief and wildly outspoken drug-hazed protestor season, and Mori will go on to rule the earth? -oh, and Quint will have someone break into his house and stab him?
-
put a glass of Schnaps into your glass of beer, et voil
-
Yeah i would have gone for Schrieber too, can't believe they have gone for Ryan Phillipe.
Batman Begins has boring casting so far...
www.obsessedwithfilm.com -
The word is "bureaucratic," not "beaurocratic." Jesus fucking CHRIST! I don't care if you really were drunk when you wrote this, Harry, you should be ashamed.
That said, I'm looking forward to seeing this movie. -
For hilarious reasons like BEERFEST, NACHO LIBRE, or even Butt-Numb-A-Thon is why I wish you and Tim League would do live webcasts of them events. Even if you charged for the bandwith to view it, I'd pay to see that kind of silly fun and geek togetherness.
-
harry is a cheap date. excellent
-
I'm off on my European travels on Saturday, and I can't wait to fucking hit Germany now! Munich, beer hall on every street, Stein and a suasage time!! Cheers Harry. Oh, film sounds pretty funny too!
-
probably not, but at least this time we're not being told by Harry to 'fuck off'if we didn't like the movie like in that old school 'review'.
-
Americans are stupid because Harry made a typo. huh?
-
Holy moly? Strangebrew? teaser trailer?? I'm confused... is it a sequal, a remake, a teaser trailer from the original? WHAT'S THE DILLYO? DAVE AND BOB MCKENZIE could destroy anyone in a fuckin beer drinking contest. They're from Canada, and Canadians destroy at beer drinking contests. Put me up against three of your heaviest american drinkers and I'll be awake until 8am the next morning drinking my 30th cold canadian beer while they pass out at 11pm after 4 or 5
-
I didn't know it sucked til I rented it at Blockbuster. I can't drink like I used to but just might bring a sixer to "Beerfest" Now I want to watch "Strange Brew" again.
-
I am posting my thoughts again in this thread as it is more appropriate.
K seriously- this site has become one big fucking commercial. Granted i have read this site since 1999, and it has obviously influenced the choices that i make when going to the movies. However, that was when the site told me about little known titles like "memento," and "city of god." Harry and crew got me excited to see movies off of the beaten path. Now, all of the movies that Harry reviews, have became the greatest movies he's ever seen (unless of course the movie was made by Fox). For example, War of the Worlds, Hustle and Flow reviews from Harry came out pretty close together. And i quote: "This is the very best film I -
. . . is what the above post should read. Damn, I can't even type sober.
-
But I always enjoy a good weed or liquor based flick, even if my associates like to remind me the best way to see them is wasted. If it's decent, clever comedy I'll give it a glance.
-
Malzbier (the German 'malt beer' he was referring to having drunk several of) is non-alcoholic. Or at best, less than 1% alcohol by volume. Lol
-
BA-ZING! Just kidding, Harry. Sounds pretty sweet to me. I actually liked Club Dread quite a bit.
-
...Grape Nehi and grain alcohol. I'm still scared of Dennis Hopper.
-
Sure, I drank a few at the screening (God Bless the Alamo), but the laughs were genuine, not simply alcohol-induced. My wife and her female friend were there, and they loved the film as well, so I know it's got a lot of crossover appeal. But be warned: if you don't sneak a beer into the theater to watch this, you're gonna battle a mighty thirst.
-
That's horrible casting. They also report Philip Seymour Hoffman is in talks to play the penguin. Here's there article: Ryan Phillippe may be set to take over from Tommy Lee Jones after reportedly landing the role of Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the upcoming Batman Begins sequel. Reese Witherspoon's husband will join Heath Ledger, who has signed on to play The Joker, and new Batman Christian Bale in The Dark Knight. Crash star Phillippe beat Liev Shreiber and Josh Lucas to the role of the scheming district attorney, played by Jones in 1995 movie Batman Forever, according to internet reports. Academy Award winners Sir Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman have also joined the cast, while fellow Oscar winner Philip Seymour Hoffman is in talks to play The Penguin in the new film.
-
I've been coming here since about 1999 as well, and guyincognito27, I think you're missing the point. My opinions typically fall pretty close to Harry's (albeit I'll never forgive his recommendation of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle). Of the last 12 movies he reviewed, The Omen and X3 were possibly the biggest stand-out dissapointments. (Was anyone holding their breath on click?) So I think when something that looks bad turns out OK, it sometimes gets a pass. However, like myself, I always thought of Harry as first and foremost a movie-lover. One of the those people who look for the brightside in every movie. I do that. My parents do that. Many of my friends do that. Nowhere do I believe this site became a pitch-site only out to promote blockbusters. (wow, when did this turn into a love letter to Harry? Need to reclaim manhood.) On the other hand, Harry's great big deusch. Now, I'm going to kill an animal with my bare hands and copulate with a woman.
-
I thought it was funny ....
-
SUPERTROOPERS 2!! SUPERTROOPERS 2!!!!
FARVA FARVA FARVA FARVA...... "its delicious" chicken fuckers -
For being 400 pounds, you are a pussy when it comes to drinking.
-
..which I can't get in New York. Now I'm sad again.
-
Can we expect that quote in the print ads??? Nice one, Mr.HEADGEEK sir, nice one.
-
Though this review isn't really affecting my judgement, Chud.com's latest podcast had two of the BL gang on and they were talking about the film, and being that I loved Club Drea, i'll be sure to enjoy this one. As much as I enjoy Dread, the horror sort of got in the way of the comedy. http://k105.blogspot.com/
-
...underaged girlfriend drinking beer!
-
Considering the effect of alcohol has on one's person is affected by body mass, how many CASES of beer would it take to get Harry's blood level over the legal limit?
Just askin'... -
NO WAY does it only take Harry 3 drinks. I have a feeling he'd have to drink a cement truck full before he even gets a buzz, lard ass
-
Loud, obnoxious, usually sweating profusely and reeking of cigarettes, laughing too much at their stupid jokes. Date rapists are beer drunks. Give me a bottle of whiskey and a glass and a quiet table in back and shut the fuck up.
-
It was the trailer for the original Strange Brew.
-
Not scary, not funny, not anything. Its a black hole. Oh and this is the stupidest review ever. So its funny cause youre drunk. Give me a break.
-
"Kicked 9 layers of ass and blew me 3 times." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News. "This is a drinking film. Sneak the beer into the theater and get fucked up with this thing." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News. "Drunk on laughing myself fucking silly." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News.
-
FUCK YOU ARTIE! Hi Fred.
-
There's not a chance this film is even remotely funny. Sorry, dude: you were drunk. Speaking of "dude," should I revists "Dude, Where's My Car?" whilst intoxicated? How about the chronically unfunny, "Good Burger"? ANYTHING IS FUNNY WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS FUNCTIONING LIKE A RETARD'S! If I take Viagra before seeing "Basic Instinct 2," should I then write a glowing review about how hard Sharon Stone still makes me? There's something else disingenuous here, which may affect all reviews written under the circumstance: The crowds at preview screenings, premieres, and film festivals are WAAAAAY more forgiving than the normal movie crowd. There's far more crowd participation. The exception to this rule will be Friday's midnight screening of "Snakes On A Plane" in Times Square. But the rule still stands. Ya lush.
-
That would be awesome.
-
Beerfest, Blah blah blah, okay I might see it. BUT a Strange Brew? HELL YEAH!!! Is this a re-release, a redux? or just a teaser from the original to get all the liver killin' Alamonians hyped and psyched for BEERFEST? C'mon anyone have ANYTHING??? I thought this was AIN'T IT COOL NEWS for cryin out loud. How about doing some cool news sometime soon. Oh and is Yoko a subconsious reference to the Beatles' Yoko?
-
Can I cut and paste your post in future AICN "reviews" by Harry? One thing to remember, though, Harry and AICN have been sell-outs for years and make no bones about it. Just keep that in mind when reading the "reviews"/shills.
-
If this is true my early disappointment is building. I'm kind of neutral on Phillipe, but that would make two choices (after Ledger) that seem a bit off base. Nolan knows what he's doing, but Clive Owen would make a better Two Face and there's a handful of thespians (not including Crispin Glover) that would have made an interesting Joker and look closer to his portrayal in the comics. So I'm hoping this Phillipe thing is just a rumor, even though they should be announcing Dent's casting any day now as he must be an important role in the sequel. As for Beerfest, it looks hilarious. Broken Lizard hasn't disappointed yet, except for Puddle Cruiser, but that was their first movie so I'll give them a free pass. It had its moments, anyway.
-
Is it just me or are Harry's posts utterly unreadable? I tried, but only made it through two paragraphs. Every time I see his name, I can't help but think of that kid sitting in a shit-filled diaper because the big H couldn't stand to miss a few minutes of the Hulk. And don't even get me started on that review of Blade 2.
-
I should add that I still like the idea of Phillipe better than Schrieber as Two Face. I don't care for Liev Schrieber at all, and while he might make a passable Harvey Dent he would be an uber-lame villain after the Two Face transformation.
-
I have to say I liked this movie a lot just for the laid back humour a la Porky`s. It`s pretty different from the mainstream comedy in that it`s more about the spirit than a punchline at every at seconds like people are used to. However when these guys tried to get away from that and made the nauseating Club Dread it fucked big time. First because what we liked for first film was that Universe and that these guys were awesome so given that Club Dread was not just "guys having a ball" but more like a murder mystery with characters we didn`t give two shits about...heck you had the same actors with so annoying roles. But what was worst was Club Dread took the gross out Farelli Brothers approach and killed all there ever was compelling that these guys had. Club Dread made me fucking ill. It`s like going from the guys that did Animal House to the people that did The Date Movie. Anyway I hope they rebound for that Beer movie. Bear in mind I`m predicting a lot of gross out things, it seems to me they`re going to go for the spirit of Super Troopers.
-
It was everything a slasher spoof should be. Much better than any of the Scary Movie movies. I'm not sure why everyone seems to hate Club Dread and love Super Troopers, besides the fact that Club Dread goes for a few less gags in favor of some well staged deaths. But the funny characters were still there: Putman was hilarious, Juan and his infatuation with "Peeneelope", Farva as a masseuse, etc. Bill Paxton slumming it as a drunk Jimmy Buffet rip off. I will agree that Club Dread wasn't quite as funny as Super Troopers, few movies are, but I still think it's a good movie that has been sorely underrated for what seems like no reason at all.
-
you know, if i had the time and money to go up to canada, i'd show you how a real man drinks. a threat of being on your 30th beer at 8 in the morning is nothing. just this last saturday i had a contest with a couple of friends. i tapped out after killing my second case when i realized it was noon on sunday. and for the record, most candien beer tastes like moose piss (or what i would assume moose piss would taste like). i'm not defending american big-brewery beer, because we all know how watered down it is. anyways, when it comes to drinking, don't start a fight you can't win buddy.
-
Annnnnd so Beerfest was really that funny, eh? When you've got a living room full of drunks, Schindler's List can become "high comedy," so an entire theater full of drunks doesn't sound like a crowd that Broken Lizard's level of humor (somewhere well below The Kids in The Hall but above the cast of Mad TV) would fail to please.
-
Just wanted to say that "Beerfest" last night was AWESOME! My friend Ryan and I had a great time! It was his birthday and what better way for him to spend it than watching "Beerfest" with the guys from Broken Lizard? Thanks, Harry! You rule!
-
An "official beer" of drinking contests? Because let's face it, it's an uneven playing field. If two drinkers of equal ability face off with one drinking Budweiser and the other chugging Newcastle, it's painfully obvious that the Bud man is going to absolutely murder the other guy because he's drinking watered-down Clydesdale urine, which passes right through the innards and out the dick. Maybe Pete's or Samuel Adams could create "the official American competition beer" and other countries' brewmeisters could do the same. Or has this been done? For the record, I would nominate Heineken as an official competition beer. Tasteful enough to keep the mouth fresh, light enough to pass quickly through the system and induce further drinking, yet just strong enough to create a slight buzz once the contest gets really good. I'm not really a Heineken man, it just seems like a good universal starting point.
-
Good thing he mentioned the 'nutritious yummies', while a non sequitor, that really took the sting away.
-
1)Stella Artois 2)Weed 3)Cocaine 4)Ketamine 5)Absinthe = WASTED!!!
-
And I've been on here since 1998.
-
Harry seemed pretty enthusiastic about that one at the time of its release.
-
my only regret was that it was at the chicken and not dudd's. and harry, you're going off the deep end. go to church or something.
-
Man up, Nancy! It was a different movie with different characters? No fuckin way! Are you trying to tell me that Orson Welles *didn't* play Kane in every movie? What's next, actors will have range and attempt other roles?
-
So was my last bowel movement.
-
Harry praised that film as if it was a comedy masterpiece when it arrived in June. And for the record my last bowel movement was funnier than your last bowel movement.
-
What a shitfest. The worst film of 05'.
-
Honeslty how was the movie a spoof. Just cause you make a slasher film doesnt mean its a spoof. Aside from maybe 5 jokes I didnt see anything remotely funny or satirical. I just completely missed the spoof part.
-
...but I have to give Harry credit for suggesting people sneak alcohol into movie theaters. I've never brought BEER into a flick, but a flask or a pint of good whiskey or rum or something, YES. It makes shitty movies great and great movies orgasmic. So, kudos Harry. But I probably won't see Beerfest. Maybe on video or something.
-
But I couldn't be sure. Stupid sarcasm. So hard to detect. Now about last bowel movements: Mine thought it'd be super funny if it splashed toilet water into my bunghole. What'd yours do that was so dang amusing?
-
They play vintage trailer at the Drafthouse. It was the trailer for the original Strangebrew.
-
Who fucking cares??? Does anyone write a worse review than Harry? I don't read Penthouse and I'm pretty sure it's bankrupt, but how did Harry get a job as a writer? Is Guccione crazy? I really think that we could pick 10 people off the street and nine of them could write a better review than Harry.
-
... me and my buddy drunk a bottle of wodka while at a screening of Kronenburg's Crash and I made sure everyone knew that scar on somebodys leg looks like a pussy. Thank you.
-
I don't see how anyone could miss it. Just because you didn't find it funny doesn't make it a straight horror film. It lampoons several horror conventions that I don't feel I need to point out, they were very obvious.
-
...in the corner and drink to yourself? You're one of those guys that eventually gets so drunk, he migrates to the bar and starts drunkenly rambling to the first victim he can latch on to, in his case hopefully a female. I hate those guys!
-
I wish movies would blow or perform a sex act on me. That'd be awesome. IGNORE ME!!!
-
...comedy. TIMING!!! They have good ideas and set-ups that are humorous, but they can't execute 95% of their jokes. I don't know who the BL guys BJed to get a movie deal, but I bet it was a former frat brother who lucked into an Industry job with a little bit of pull. These guys provide direct to video level funny, not $10 a pop funny. Give STELLA a feature film, not these limp lizard idiots. Funny concepts, but man do they suck ass in execution.
-
that movie was just bad...
-
I bought a six pack of Stella Artois the other day for the first time. It tastes great...and it almost got me laid!
-
As Lawrence Taylor said in "The Waterboy": "... Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don't do crack."
-
I'm sorry fearlessjay-but im gonna have to disagree with you. At what point does being a guy loves movies turn into a guy who loves shit? This is a guy (harry) who loves building his Hollywood clout by being in the front and back pocket of the studios so HE can make movies himself or receive some sort of monetary compensation for his glowingly positive reviews. This site is feeding all of us spectacular "inside pr controlled information." I love movies too, more than any other artistic medium, and i do not fucking go nuts over every movie i see just because it's a movie. QUite the contrary. I love seeing a movie that challenges me, excites me, teaches me something new about the world, and does it in a way that is unique and fresh.
All of these "reporters," on this site, (cept for moriarty) are selling what the movie studios are providing them. I promise, that's a fact. -
He loved it. It blew his mind, or blew him away, or something like that. Hilarious, laughing, genius, nephew, fiancee. Out.
-
That review was like one of those fucking annoying phone calls when you're at home, sober and sleeping to work the next day and one of your drunk mates calls up, trashed, splurting alcohol fused hilarities down the line that are only funny to him and company he currently keeps. Maybe I'll wait for the re-review soon ala' Armagedon & Godzilla where Harry confesses that he was caught up in the atmosphere and that the movie was actually kinda shit.
-
Stella, without a doubt, gives THE worst hangovers of any beer I've ever drank. Don't drink too much of it. Drink a few, five or six tops, then switch to something else. Seriously. True boozehounds know about this. The next morning your brain will feel like it was sitting out in the desert sun for too long. It's so nasty. Heed my words.
-
but I've found myself becoming something of a beer snob lately, going for the Becks and Stellas. Anyway, in true underdog fashion, the comely young lady over my place seemed to quite enjoy the Stellas until, after a makeout session, promplty passed into drunken dreamland with a heavy snore.
Oowa-oowa-oowa-oowaaaaaaaaaaa.
Bummer. -
you heard me right
-
A Beer snob doesn't drink shitty stella or shittier becks; he drinks belgian ales
try that buzz on for size -
No Thanks
-
What you think about that, bitch?!
-
Because I had the same feeling as having being raped after seeing Club Dread! It was ackward, not funny, gross, it was loud, not funny, as nauseating as Freddy Got Fingered, not funny. As for your "not playing the same characters" etc... being a good thing, the fact is, what made Super Troopers work was that Universe and those characters. And that can`t be repeated. It`s like having these guys from Porky`s suddenly being in another movie, with a different subject matter playing characters we hate. After the initial "ah ha, that`s the same guy from..." you realise that you don;t fucking care about losers on a god damn island and god damn Reagay music. It wouldn`t be the kids playing pranks on Porky`s, it wouldn`t be the same chemistry. It`s not because Harrison Ford was awesome in Indiana Jones that i`m gonna find him awesome in that buddy cop movie with Joss Harnett!
-
A group losers form a team and do the impossible. Win the big championship game of some odd sport at the end. BASEketball, Dodgeball, Beerfest. I know I'm forgetting another one. They all follow this same premise and all three have the samethings in common. Funny names and logos for fake teams and leagues and hot cheerleaders. How many times are they going to redo this tired formula?
-
spoof or not, straight-up horror film, straight-up comedy, don't care what you call it, that shit sucked lots of ass. Super Troopers was no big fuckin deal either. Didn't see Dukes of Hazzards, but I'd bet my balls it's a motherfuckin misery to be in that movie's clasp. The only regard I have for Jay Chandesakraharker is he directed a few Arrested Developments, so can't be too eternally pissed at the guy. And yeah, Im drunk right now.
-
wow, you're a fuckin connoisseur man. Why don't you just go nuts and buy some Heinekens or that amazing import, Corona.
-
As in 3 birthday cakes, 4 fried turkeys and a bucket of lard. Or as you call it, a nice afternoon snack.
-
This guy would come in his pants over the film on my teeth.
-
The magic that is the ageless 'Ralph Macchio'! Boxoffice Gold! Plus the poster for Beer League is hotter as well. http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/8127/beerlegslw9.jpg
-
Fucking hell- its actively called "wifebeater" in britain. And before anyone asks/ slates me this is because of Paul Gascoigne: ace footballer, perennial drunk, misogynist wifebeater, total geordie moron. His beer of choice before beating the wife was Stella.
-
Stella shit and grab yourself a Chimay or a Fuller's ESB for fucks sake.
-
In the pub last night, seriously gents, don't EVER disgrace yourself like that man did.
-
or gay? There is no place where alcopops are acceptable fuel for fully grown straight men.
-
A relative was over from good ol' Scotland recently, and when we were out drinking, he made a comment about how many establishments seemed to be selling Stella as a premium beer.
He explained that over there, Stella is considered a bottom feeder beer, sold in most grocery stores at a cheap price. It is called wifebeater beer, and is the weapon of choice for Scottish rednecks. On par over here with Schlitz, etc...
-
1. Newcastle Brown Ale
2. Sammy Smith's (nut brown or oatmeal stout)
3. Guinness Stout
4. Magic Hat #9
5. Bass ale
6. Sierra Nevada India pale ale
7. Jamacian red stripe
8. Dous Equis (with lime)
9. Samuel Adams boston lager
10. Blue moon
there are others but that is my usual rotation..can be changed based on situation and/or season
BUT THE WORST TASTING BEER OF ALL TIME IS BUDWESIER king of beers? sheesh time for a coup..a bloody one...G -
How?
-
Aug 17, 2006 11:25:40 AM CDT
Wonder if Harry took his nephew along and got him drunk
by atticus finch
Hey, he took the kid to The Omen, why not this?
-
That's one of few things this great country is not number one in. What do we have? A LITER OF FARVA BITCH!
-
of Snakes on a Plane? Toss them around for a scream or two.
-
Best I've ever had? Trappist Rochefort #10. None of you sissies know beer until you've drank with the Trappist monks in Belgium!
-
i don't get the hate.
-
...because they aren't ever real critiques of the movies. All he seems to do is write about he and his friends blah blah blah some pointless crap about his fiancee blah blah blah Harry's eating healthy blah blah blah and wrapping it up with some bizzare sexual innuendo and some hyperbole about the film he saw being "the best film of the summer/year/century." The quality of writing is also horrible (can't blame it on being drunk, Harry, unless ALL your reviews were written while innebriated), with arbitrary punctuation and basic grammar mistakes that wouldn't pass in a junior high remedial English class. Leave the writing of reviews to those who can form an honest critique, or at least those who can write.
-
I thought i would add more bit to my rant about the the sellout gang of "reporters" that work for this site.
From Harry's review: "I have no idea how funny this movie will be to you. But for me -
New woman? Who'd be the old woman?
Better make that "only". And please stop telling us whenever you take a shower. -
My all redhead team for Potfest...
Willie Nelson, Harry Knowles, Prince Harry and a Daywalker to be named later. -
He had to have cleaned it up some. Or typed rrrreally slowly. Last time I typed something drunk, I spent part of the next day trying to decipher what I had typed.
-
Was I the first to say it?? lol
-
Have you sampled all the beers in the world to compile your list? I count you therefore lucky and unlucky. But in my humble opinion, both Murphy's red and stout beat the shit out of Newcastle and Guinness, and I love Guinness like a man possessed. The Firestone beers are my new favorite thing, but I'm not sure how far reaching they are out of California. Hite is a heckuva Korean beer if you go for sushi or something, much better than the Kirin or Asahi most people chugalug. And if you're just drinking to get fucked up with your buddies - I find Miller Lite the proudest of the lowbrow domestic brews. That's my two cents. But I agree with you about Bud - pure piss, but still better than Coors.
-
It's all about the Olde E bithches..the Olde E!! I tips it for my homies on a regular basis don'cha know?!
-
It is pretty low rent piss. And YB- what about the catnip?
-
Just way, way too thick and malty for my tastes. And that's not saying I'm a Coors Light kind of guy, either... but if those are the two extremes, give me something in the middle. Bass is alright. Sierra Nevada is not. Red Stripe's good, Kiltlifter is best. Most varieties of Sam Adams is not. (More on that later) And anybody that puts down Miller High Life is just fooling themselves -- it's not that bad. (It's not great, but it's pretty good, AND dirt-cheap.) Killian's is okay, so is Shiner, but give me a case of Lone Star when I can get it. Oh, and one last thing -- you can keep your Mike's and all the other fruity-flavored stuff, unless it's Sam Adams Strawberry Blonde. That's some good stuff.
-
but the hangovers.... brrrrrr.
-
It's all about Stella, Super Tennants or Red Stripe!
-
This site makes me sad lately, there just is no cool news anywhere other than harry writing reviews for movies no one cares about
-
God this movie was stupid! But I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't laugh my ass off. My favorite part were the Germans. All they had to do was talk, and I was pretty much laughing out loud like a stupid American. Sadly, I recommended this movie to friends, so fear not Lizard haters. These guys are no Monty Python, nor are they consistent. But I like them just enough to make trash like this and get rich -- ain't that the American dream? They will live to make another movie, despite the poor reception they consistently get.
-
had is slow moments, but when that guy got kicked into the beer vat and drowned tryng to drink his way out...hilarious.
-
might that be because Beerfest sucked ass?
checj this English review:
http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2006/09/film-review-beerfest.html -
In thread 21000
As a result I emailed Moriarty to see if Timetravel can be done on this site withouth the bannings. I know it is a longshot, but hey I had to ask. -
I created an Orcus ID over at the zone and spoke with seppukudkurosawa. Were gonna get the band back together :)
-
http://zone.aintitcool.com/viewtopic.php?p=304460#304460
Apparently there is a time traveller reunion -
Saw this again last night, and it amuses me quite a bit.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 171 total posts 169 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 157 total posts 111 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 138 total posts 75 posts
- Here's The Red Band Trailer For Drafthouse Films' THE FP! -- 67 total posts 67 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 479 total posts 62 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 59 total posts 59 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 62 total posts 59 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 48 total posts 45 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 116 total posts 32 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 181 total posts 30 posts