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Massawyrm Says THE ANT BULLY Is Like The Communist Manifesto For Kids!!

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

The Ant Bully: Rise of the Prolitari-Ant. Easily one of the most bizarre kids films I’ve seen in a long time, The Ant Bully is your typical, by the numbers CG kids film thinly disguising a delightful work of subversive fiction. It’s one of those films, that as it unfolds, causes you to look around the theatre at the other adults and ask: I’m not the only one seeing what I’m seeing am I?

You know those Bibles they make for kids? The ones with the simple stories and colorful artwork that leaves out all of the complex and adult themes that you’d have to commit hours of time to explaining away? Well, if someone sat down to make a similar version of the Communist Manifesto, it would look a hell of a lot like The Ant Bully. It’s a warm ultra-liberal hug of a kids film, preaching the joys of socialism and hard work, all the while telling a story of what the world might be like in a liberal post-9/11 world.

What? You think I’m kidding? Over-reacting? Maybe that I’m reading too much into this? Well, lets talk about The Ant Bully.

After a devastating attack by “The Destroyer” (a little boy named Lucas) that floods and collapses their mound, destroys their egg chamber and kills untold scores of ants (they brush over this aspect very quickly), the film’s religious figure (a wizard as to avoid any direct correlation) Zoc (Nicholas Cage) concocts a plan to sneak into enemy territory, shrink “The Destroyer” and bring him back for trial. When he does, the ant masses are howling for blood. They want to tear the Destroyer apart. They cry out to eat him alive. But the wise and benevolent Queen Ant has different ideas. You see, The Destroyer is at war with the ants simply because he does not understand them.

Her idea? Sentence l’il Osama to live and work with the ants so he can. Because once they understand one another, there will be no reason to fight. While there, Lucas learns the value of hard work for the mound and how every Ant has his or her place in society. They each have their own specific jobs that they’re born into to do, and it’s important that each ant does its part so they can all enjoy the fruits of the harvest.

Yes, yes. I know. Ants are natures Communists. And I can imagine that it might be hard to tell a story about them without such an overt theme. Except that, well, they did it in ‘Ants’. But this isn’t just an “our culture, their culture” thing. Because as overt as it appears earlier in the film, the point gets hammered home towards the end. As Lucas and Zoc sit atop a rock and stare at the human city, Zoc asks ‘Is that your hive?’ ‘Yeah, I guess it’s like a hive.’ When Zoc asks about how it works, Lucas replies ‘I guess it’s every man for himself.’ This leads to a Zoc monologue about how that just doesn’t make any sense. Everyone has their place and don’t the humans realize that if they all work together and share in the fruits of their labor that they all can benefit?

Yeah. See. I ain’t making this shit up. Zoc falls just short of saying “Everyone open your little red books and follow along on page 57.” This is gonna play really well in China. And North Korea? Kim Jong Il is gonna flip for this. Of course, that demented little dwarf will no doubt see himself as the wise and benevolent Ant Queen. I can just picture him now, running around his palace with a pair of nylon wings singing “I am the great Communist Ant Queen! Come little ants, come!”

But why stop there when we can have a climax with the battle of the Ants versus the Great Capitalist Satan! Enter Godzilla Paul Giamatti as Stan of Bealz-a-Bug Extermination. No subtlety there. A man so greedy and evil he talks a kid into signing an extermination contract while his parents are on vacation. This is a man that thinks only of money and destruction. And he revels in both. And it’s up to our hero Lucas, his new ant friends and scores of once menacing wasps to work together to stop the great chemical weapon spewing imperialist from his ethnic cleansing and drive him back so that all the lawn can live in peace and prosperity.

Are the kids gonna get all this? Oh, probably not. But the parents sure will. Hell, if the Right Wing talk shows can be all a buzz with chatter about anti-American themes in Superman, then this is gonna give them a case of spastic colon the likes of which we’ve never seen. If they thought Hollywood was liberal before, just wait until they sink their teeth into this little bevy of propaganda.

But is it entertaining? Meh. Watching this strange choice of a theme for a kids film was pretty much the most entertaining part of it. It really gets pretty paint by numbers storywise, and gets so incredibly heavy handed with its themes that it becomes laughable. I mean, the film opens with Lucas getting a power wedgie from a local bully who says “There’s nothing you can do about it – BECAUSE I’M BIG AND YOU’RE SMALL. You get it? I’M BIG AND YOU’RE SMALL.” Yes, he repeats it. Just in case the kids missed it the first time. So what does our hero do? He goes to mow down the ant mound chanting “There’s nothing you can do, because I’m big and you’re small.” Gee, I wonder if that idea is going to be important later…HEY it is!

Buffering out the film are a number of pretty bland characters voiced by some pretty interesting vocal choices – including the aforementioned Nicolas Cage and Paul Giamatti, Julia Roberts, Regina King, and geek faves Bruce Campbell (with a substantial role for those of you who will watch anything with Bruce) and Ricardo Montalban. Unfortunately, the bland characters are equally matched by a bland story that meanders from set up to set up to fully develop its theme, and jokes of the excrement and piss variety. And of course they don’t forget to throw in the needlessly incompetent frivolous side characters (a beetle and a glow worm) who begin showing up randomly about halfway through the film just to act as retarded as humanly possible.

The real tragedy is that the character designs and CG are pretty fucking cool. While the humans look exaggerated and fake (exactly like you’d expect from a Jimmy Neutron director), nobody seemed to tell the bug animation crew what they were working on. They seemed to think they were working on what this should have been – John Carter of the Backyard. All of the ant and wasp designs look like they’re straight out of a Sci-fi movie – with each ant distinctive and alien, complete with tribal tattoos, and wasps that look like badass Decepticon bugs. When the Ants mount up for an assault on the backs of the wasps, it actually looks pretty freaking cool, and that five minute sequence actually interested me more than anything else Ant Bully had to offer.

Sadly, it also made painfully clear what this film should have been – a sci-fi kids adventure – which it isn’t really. All the elements of the story are there, all the character designs are there. But instead this wants to be an anthropomorphized insect morality play. Which is fine, and tolerable for parents, but not worth seeing unless you have kids clamoring for it.

And that’s where this film really falters. It’s not bad. Really it isn’t. Compared to this year’s abysmal Ice Age 2, this thing is a masterpiece. But when compared to the three truly fantastic CG kids films we’ve gotten over the past two months – Cars, Over the Hedge and Monster House, three films that adults can easily watch without children and truly enjoy - this thing really drags its thorax.

And while kids may enjoy the united we stand theme, especially as it pertains to all the bullies in the film, adults really are going to be scratching their heads at the films other prevalent ideas. But, at least it gives them something to do while the painfully transparent and predictable storyline unfolds. Recommended only for people with kids dying to see it who haven’t already seen Cars, Over the Hedge and Monster House.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.


What? They couldn’t fit in a single ant that yells “The Ant Bully hates us for our freedom!”

Do you hate the above artwork? Think you can do better? Don’t forget to get your submission in for the ‘Make me a Massawyrm’ art contest!

Readers Talkback
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  • July 25, 2006, 3:45 p.m. CST


    by clockpolitiks


  • July 25, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST


    by nolan bautista


  • July 25, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST


    by drave117

    I wasn't actually planning on seeing this, but now I think I will, mainly because I don't think there have been enough attempts by the Hollywood media to market Communism in the US. (Despite what McCarthy would have had us believe...)

  • July 25, 2006, 3:48 p.m. CST

    oh well..

    by nolan bautista

    ..back to jackin' off

  • July 25, 2006, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Yea, I dont think I'll see this

    by clockpolitiks

    Doesnt interest me. Antz was good enough for me.

  • July 25, 2006, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Wowee! Pretty scary!

    by seppukudkurosawa

    And so we true Communists made a film to give our message to the kids, so that they can finally do it right, and naturally the so right-wing he's fallen off the fucking plane "critic" Massa scorns us for that very idea. Well, my friend, the petty likes of you can't stop us from resurrecting our Lord and Saviour, Karl Marx's dead creed. For once this movie is released, we will have your children. They will be ours! Scorn over the "evil peasants of China and North Korea" all you want, but there are quite a few of them. I know they're quite small in size, but they still count as real people. Soon your children shall join our ranks. Unbeknownst to you, there are hidden subliminal messages embedded within this film, and they shall split open the supple young minds of your children as if they were watermelons, and they will then be opened to a world of opportunities for the general populace. We ARE ants, but there sure as fuck are a lot of us. You'll be hearing from us soon...very soon!!!!

  • July 25, 2006, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Did V broadcast a revolutionary message to the mound?

    by Doctor_Sin

    The best part of this review is imagining Kim yelling he's the Queen Bee. Funny shit, Massawyrm!

  • July 25, 2006, 3:51 p.m. CST

    by Argentino

  • July 25, 2006, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Couldn't be worse than Lady in the Water.

    by Veraxus

    What's with all these self-righteous, ego-stroking, masturbatory movies coming out of Hollywood at the moment? Jesus Christ, I'd kill for a Riddick, Indiana Jones, or 007 movie right now.

  • July 25, 2006, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Antz, not Ants

    by Jubba

    that's about all i hahve to say...why so many digital ant movies anyway? make some digital Tick movies...ah the tick...

  • July 25, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    TMNT trailer

    by bollhatergc

    would be the only reason to see this...CG bugs...AGAIN???? what shit

  • July 25, 2006, 3:57 p.m. CST


    by rbatty024

    This sounds like a poor man's "Antz." Now that was a damn good movie. Oddly enough, I think it was probably the best Woody Allen film for the past couple of decades.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:03 p.m. CST


    by plantpage55

    What the hell was that "z" at the end of antZ for? To make it more x-treme?!?! to the MAXXXXX?!?!

  • July 25, 2006, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Ha, nice use of "warm hug" in description

    by Engineer_at_peac

    I'll make sure not to tell my sister this is a communist manifesto of a movie, or she will certainly take my niece to see it.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:06 p.m. CST

    I can already hear Stephen Colbert decoding this movie.

    by CreasyBear

  • July 25, 2006, 4:13 p.m. CST


    by QuinnTheEskimo

    Well I don't know, but I been told/ The streets of heaven are lined with gold/ I ask you how things could get much worse/ if the Russians happen to get up there first!

  • July 25, 2006, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Communism isn't such a bad idea...

    by Batutta's just that in a world where resources are limited, spreading the wealth makes everyone poor. Until we have limitless, renewable resources, where spreading the wealth would making everyone rich, it's not a practical philosophy.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:24 p.m. CST

    I hate to open the worm-can...But your idea of Liberals

    by SydBarretsMyDad pretty screwy. I dont know a single Liberal, myself included, that wanted to embrace Osama Bin Laden and show him our lives so he would understand. I did, and still do, want that fucker dead dead dead. Let me put it in the context of an alternate version of this film. They go off looking for The Bully (osama)......they cant FIND instead, they invade a neighboring house, raize it to the ground, and proclaim proudly "Mission Accomplished" amidst the ant induced reckage. All the while, removing any mention of the bully from any further speeches and Little Ant Press Releases.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:25 p.m. CST

    AKA "Honey, I Shrunk the Karl Marx"

    by Lance Rock

  • July 25, 2006, 4:26 p.m. CST

    A Charlie Brown ideology

    by R James

    "Communism isn't such a bad idea after all, Charlie Brown."

  • July 25, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST


    by mocky_puppet

    "raze", you tree hugger.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:33 p.m. CST


    by SydBarretsMyDad

    Use the extra "i" to "insert" an finger in your already crowded with hands puppet ass.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:33 p.m. CST

    which one's zeppo?

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO!!!!!!...And thus, I'm a marxist! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!

  • July 25, 2006, 4:35 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    Notice the phrasing "Ultra Liberal." I certainly wouldn't paint the regular, everyday liberals with that brush. But that movie you mentioned. That sounds pretty I saw it somewhere. Like Cable or something. Although I hated the guy who played the President. No one would believe anyone actually voted for that guy...

  • July 25, 2006, 4:42 p.m. CST


    by SydBarretsMyDad

    stranger casting has happened. Edward G Robingon in The Ten Commandments?....cmon. Talk about unbelievable.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:43 p.m. CST


    by mocky_puppet

    you mean "a" finger. and "already crowded with hands" should all be hyphenated. but it's good the way you wrote it, too, man.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Animeted flix have been turned into propoganda

    by bubbha

    a long time ago. Disney have been brain washing kids with liberal messages for decades. And it continues today- Remember Blue sky's 'Robots'? Where the small robot opens a mom-n-pop shop against the big corporation?

  • July 25, 2006, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Throw in a few skyflowers...

    by Childe Roland

    ...and this thing might be as subtle as Romero's Land of the Dead. I prefer my subversive fiction be less overt with its agenda. And I have a REALLY hard time relating to anything with more than four legs.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:46 p.m. CST

    hands down the most entertaining review...

    by beefywhore

    I've ever read on this site...

  • July 25, 2006, 4:47 p.m. CST

    "Come rittre ants, come!"

    by tripp5

    kim jong il his'self will kill you for that

  • July 25, 2006, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Damn Pinko Ants! McCarthyism must be reborn. REBORN!!!

    by Tall_Boy

    That's the only way to stop The Seduction of the Innocent.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:51 p.m. CST

    I hear that in Barnyard

    by bubbha

    the cows are all gay and they fight the humans who try keeping them away from geting married.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Wow, Bubbha - thanks for the heads up

    by Massawyrm 1

    Now I guess I finally understand the term "Cowpoke"

  • July 25, 2006, 4:56 p.m. CST

    and while we're on the subject...

    by mocky_puppet

    ...of kids' stuff with an agenda, this is what you get on the back of every one of those Imaginext plastic dinosaur toys: "Imagine a primitive civilization of humans and dinosaurs, living in a lush, green land. On one side are the predators, wiping out natural resources and everything that gets in their way. On the other side are the ecovores -- can they stop the destruction and make the land a place where dinosaurs and humans can live together?" Okay, so the predator dinosaurs and the predator people are bad, and have entered into some sort of badness agreement to destroy the world? And the good guys and good dinosaurs are called ecovores, which i think means something like "eco-eaters", right? And the goal is to get people and dinosaurs to live together in peace--but that doesn't really seem like the heart of the conflict to me, as dinosaurs and people on both sides seem to be able to work together for a common purpose. Confused semi-lefty sounding nonsense. i still play with the toys, though.

  • July 25, 2006, 4:58 p.m. CST


    by MarkoOhNo

    Wasn't very interested in this before and now I have no intention of watching at all. The animation looked sloppy and the story weak. (If there's an ant with the power to shrink a human, why not use the same power to make themselves human-size and conquer the world? =P It'd certainly make for a better story. heh) And, on top of this, it ignorantly implies pushing a system on our super-sized society which only realistically works for the smallest of Earth's creatures? Let's just all act like bugs! Maybe someday we'll have the technology to force one another to share our thoughts into a hive mind! And through genetic engineering we could all look like Lil Dong Kim! lol Yeah. No... not seein it.

  • July 25, 2006, 5 p.m. CST

    Swamped with animal CGI

    by Dragulf

    movies? Well, let's try and sneak in one that paints communism in a good light. Communism works on sheep but not with humans.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:02 p.m. CST

    yeah, mocky_puppet, that's real scary stuff

    by bubbha

    also scary- why the fuck are you reading the backs of those dinosaur toys in the first place?

  • July 25, 2006, 5:09 p.m. CST

    Not made for adults.

    by fortheloveofgod

    Its Made for kids. If you don't like it then grow up.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:13 p.m. CST


    by Slothe

    Is there something wrong with telling kids to work hard for a living? Personally, I'll take that over having to deal with the draggin'-ass 16 year old who can't be bothered to turn off his iPOD Nano and stop texting his friends long enough to get my popcorn at the local 'plex.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Fortheloveofgod, I guess you never read "1984."

    by Uncapie

    Brainwashing starts with the young. Just ask Joe Camel.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Read 1984? I fucking lived it......

    by fortheloveofgod

    "Wax on Wax off" The Karate Kid kicked ass.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Thats the same problem

    by The Skeptical

  • July 25, 2006, 5:23 p.m. CST


    by DOGSOUP

    Wake me when we get something CGI that we haven't seen before. Shit I guess I'd be like Rip Van Soup if that were the case.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    re bubba

    by mocky_puppet

    well, it's interesting you should ask. i am a manicurist in carrboro at a small, NON-FRANCHISE salon called Nails McGinty, after the famous person of the same name. there are many men and women in town who bring in their kids, and we get to know them, and sometimes (1-2 times/year) they will want to have their birthday parties there. we are happy to accomodate and charge a very small setup fee, mainly to purchase sanitary items as required by n.c. shopowners codes, such as disinfectant spray and aggregate poweder (in case someone throws up). in any event, there are usually leftovers from the presents in the form of torn and discarded packaging. i have not seen any of these dinosaur toys at one of our parties. However, i was in a toy store the other day and read the packaging there. does that answer your question, you nosy, rude little boy? and it is scary, because it's trying to teach our children not to eat meat, although i do agree with Fisher-Price's getting behind the fundamentalist christian belief that humans and dinosaurs coexisted when the world began 5,800 years ago. i shall say no more.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    "If there's an ant with the power to shrink a human...

    by Childe Roland

    ...why not use the same power to make themselves human-size and conquer the world?" I, for one, wouyld like to take htis opportunity to welcome our new ant masters and to point out that, as a well known television personality, I could be extremely useful in rounding up other humans to work as slaves in their underground sugar mines. Hail ants!"

  • July 25, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    That would've been funnier...

    by Childe Roland

    ...without all the typos. Sorry.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:27 p.m. CST

    That is the same problem I had with "Hero"

    by The Skeptical

    (Excuse my double post. damn enter key is too close to the double-quote, and my finger are too clumsey) Hero was a passable (not great) martial arts/love triangle flick, but they had to ruin it with this resounding chinese communist message: "It does not matter how evil your government is, it is your duty to lie down and die for the greater good" I'd love to see the unedited version where Jet Li goes Neo on the emperors ass, wiping out a thousand gaurds single handedly and restoring freedom and justice. That woulda been....sweet.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:27 p.m. CST

    All Modern CGi films and NON have

    by emeraldboy

    Have messages. Look past all the cookie cutter Cutesy-ness of Pixar movies and what have you got. Toy story is about as Moralisitic a film as you are likely to get. Themes are Friendship, acceptance of what you are and coming together. Toy Story 2 is film about consumerism as much as it is about good ans evil. A bugs life is about veganism over carnivorism. Monsters Inc is about the warmth of humanity and why nobody should be afraid of difference. Finding Nemo is about fathers and sons and about letting go and it has a quite obvious lets not eat all the fish theme. it is anti fish hunting and eating. The Incredibles is about what happens when society makes knee jerk reactions like banning all heroes. Incredibles is about how all familes should get along. holly hunters elastic girl there is this pro feminist agenda. An Cars is about Americas love affair with cars. Each Pixar film has an obvious agenda, when you strip back the cookie cutter cuteness.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland

    by MarkoOhNo

    TRAITOR!! (Sadly, as we will be quickly and easily overpowered by the ant menace, you shall never see justice for your crimes against humanity. lol)

  • July 25, 2006, 5:30 p.m. CST

    Don't let any village raise your child.....

    by Gorrister

    ...every village has at least one idiot.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:30 p.m. CST

    re mocky_puppet

    by bubbha

    I was merely making a funny. Didn't really care about your store n' shit. Peace.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Ahem, they're called Predacons.

    by iamnicksaicnsn


  • July 25, 2006, 5:34 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy- wow.

    by bubbha

    You've seriously made me doubt the human race will ever make it. Your post pointing out that pixar movies are about something was pure brilliance.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:34 p.m. CST

    MASSAWYRM, Thanks...

    by Media Fiend

    As a fellow red-headed,(NYC'er? can't remember where you are) chain-smoker, I always enjoy your ravings. If it turns out your on the money about the subtext than I say WAH-Freakin'-HOO!There's always room for movies that send the message that those currently in charge are wrong. Especially if there aimed at the next generation.And I don't say that from a politically ideological point of view. Rather from the universal SCREW AUTHORITY! POV.A healthy Democracy needs subversives.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:41 p.m. CST

    What's the easy thing to animate on CGI?

    by Orionsangels

    Apparently Ants because CGI & Ants go hand in hand. WTF is this obsession with CGI & Ants? Couldn't they have been Termites? Bees? Anything but Ants!

  • July 25, 2006, 5:44 p.m. CST

    I can't understand this?

    by fortheloveofgod

    Do grown up people sit there watching kids movies thinking that messages are beamed into your heads?

  • July 25, 2006, 5:48 p.m. CST

    WTF was that review?!

    by antonphd

    You guys are smoking something too much. That's the real story of your experience watching this movie. Did the ants follow you home too?

  • July 25, 2006, 5:53 p.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    Dude, plop down your 8 bucks this weekend, watch the film, then come back and tell me I'm making shit up.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:54 p.m. CST


    by Chet Hudson

    It's called AntZ because the main character's name is Z.

  • July 25, 2006, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Animated Movie... by the Zucker Bros

    by Slothe

    I'd say it's about time for a CGI movie spoofing CGI movies. A green ogre (voiced by Leslie Nielsen) and a penguin with a dancing fetish team up to fight a massive swarm of ants threatening to take over pop culture. They enlist the help of a dysfunctional family of superheroes whose superpowers include parental emancipation, throwing tantrums, and domestic violence. Turning instead to a band of toys from the clearance section of the local toy store (i.e. Trollz, GoBots, and a forgotten Jem doll) they lure the ants to a haunted house and ambush them with talking race cars. Since the price of gas is too high, the cars are all out of commission and instead they throw them into a large aquarium to be eaten by piranha clownfish (voiced by Marlon Wayans.)

  • July 25, 2006, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Re: Hero

    by rbatty024

    I had pretty much the same problem with Hero. A friend of mine argued that it was more Confuscianism than Marxism, but that doesn't change the fact that Jet Li should have split that emperor in two. It also doesn't change the fact that whatever the original intentions of the film, it could be used as Communist propoganda.

  • July 25, 2006, 6 p.m. CST

    Fortheloveofgod, you cwazy kid!

    by Uncapie

    It goes back to the fifties when they used to use subliminal ads for EAT MORE POPCORN, BUY MORE SODA, etc. Also, many theaters used to use patterns to lead the buying public towards the snack bar. Check out an older theater's(If there are any left.) rug pattern and you'll see what I mean. Yes, movies do contain certain messages. I remember when I took this girl to see "To Live And Die In L.A." Not a chick flick, by any means, but, we had magnificent sex afterwards. Same thing when I dated this other gal and we saw this Roy Schider flick "Night Games." More magnificent sex. Do chicks get turned on by action/mystery flicks? I don't know but, there seems to be a pattern that they get stimulated by. Messages do exist through story, color, patterns, etc. Subliminal? Sure. But, then again, what do I care? I got laid!

  • July 25, 2006, 6:04 p.m. CST

    I really don't think spending 10 dollars...

    by Bean_ see if Wyrm is right is really worth it. And since when is being a liberal being a communist? I just thought it was being right. :P Entertaining review, either way Wyrm.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:14 p.m. CST

    the cows in Barnyard

    by drave117

    They aren't gay. They just have gender issues.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Okay, seriously...

    by Childe Roland

    ...on the problems some folks are having with Hero (and will likely have with this film): if we were to get rid of movies that could be interpretedd as furthering a particular social or political agenda (regardless of their intent), what we'd really be left with would be porn and long, bland documentaries about folks eating and taking shits. Because sex, consumption and excretion are really the only unifying themes humanity's got going for it and the only actions that can't be peeled back to reveal ulterior motives (well...except maybe the sex thing, but you aren't taking away my porn!). Movies about fighting of any kind would be right out because you're always fighting for something politicla or social (although some would argue and I tend to agree that those social/political motives for fighting were really just manufactured by someone's higher creative functions to make them feel better about fighting for sex, food or a nicer place to shit). Movies about making money would be ouot, too (see above parenthetical). You can read whatever you want into just about anything you see other than fucking, eating and shitting (oddly enough, the only three things the networks never really let you watch...what do you suppose their agenda is?). So if you're looking for some simple, non-agendized entertainment, there's plenty out there for you (just keep your damned hands off my's mine!). There's no reason other folks (and, yeah, that includes kids) shouldn't be able to dive into these symbolic forays and make of them whatever their fevered lobes will.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:15 p.m. CST

    re: mocky_puppet

    by kaleb2little

    They made that dinosaur movie, it was called princess mononokee.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:17 p.m. CST

    If you want to see something hidden you will....

    by fortheloveofgod

    It says more about the person watching than the movie.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:19 p.m. CST


    by BannedOnTheRun hard enough to take when it's not coming from Julia Roberts via a talking cartoon ant.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:19 p.m. CST

    That is AWSOME!

    by superzario

    And when I say awsome, I mean "ha ha stupid liberals". That's like when people saidV for Vendetta was dangerous to republicans then the "hero" lied to the girl to convince her he was right. Liberals are retarded.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:24 p.m. CST

    I hope there are no gay ants in this one.

    by jollysleeve

    The last thing we need is an entire generation of kids becoming gay from watching this movie. As it is, I'm pretty pissed they're pitching a movie starring ants to our children. I'll take my nephew, David, to see this thing, but I will do so begrudgingly. And you can be sure I'm going to be keeping a close, wary eye on the tyke afterwards. You know, just to make sure he doesn't suddenly start lifting 20-times his body weight; develop an exoskeleton--that type of thing.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm go back to the Mccarthey era you fool

    by Spiderhulk

    It's people like you who see the colour red everywhere they go , and think everyone's a god damn pinko that is wrong with the world. YOU MAKE ME SICK!!! People like you were the reason so many people were blacklisted back then... come back to reality and throw down your neo-conservative ultra capitalistic ways you suckface. There's nothing wrong with a utilitarianistic and altruistic view that everyone working for the common good serves the better interests of mankind. It doesn't necessarily mean communism you suckface.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:33 p.m. CST

    i'm pulling for you guys....

    by jig98

    that cars stays in the top 10 this weekend and this piece of shit doesn't fuck us over.

  • July 25, 2006, 6:33 p.m. CST

    You're making shit up Massawyrm!

    by Orionsangels

    Why plop down 8 bucks when you can click? hehe

  • July 25, 2006, 6:36 p.m. CST


    by Spiderhulk


  • July 25, 2006, 6:46 p.m. CST

    to Childe Roland

    by The Skeptical

    I dont' want to get rid of movies like Hero. I just felt ripped off by the ending. I lost respect for the characters, I lost respect for the actors, I lost respect for the director. I wanted the last two hours of my life back. It was as if the "Dark Tower" series ended with Roland seeing the Dark Tower, and deciding he should let it be. And then letting his spider baby eat him. Do you know what I mean?

  • July 25, 2006, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland, your pimp hand is STRONG!

    by Uncapie

    The ant revolution is upon us! Let us strike while we can! "Up the workers" and all that. Still, we must worry about the future. Older ants in colonies do not have a retirement plan with beachfront condos. What happens is those who can't work anymore or are handicapped, get jumped on by the other ants and are torn apart. Their bodies and secretions are used then to reinforce the walls of their tunnels. I say we start three tunnels called Tom, Dick and Harry so the goons won't know what we're up to. We'll make a run for a neutral country.

  • July 25, 2006, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Fortheloveofgod, I was in advertising for three years.

    by Uncapie

    Plus, my dad own a drive-in theater and I was an assistant manager of a walk-in at 17. Yes, its there. What was it that John Wayne said to Henry Fonda's character in "Fort Apache?" Oh, yeah, I remember..."Don't go in that canyon."

  • July 25, 2006, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Am I alone in thinking that there are worse messages

    by Novaman5000

    to give children than "work together"?

  • July 25, 2006, 7:55 p.m. CST

    I liked Hero except for the ending.

    by rbatty024

    The film was absolutely gorgeous, the storytelling was a wonderful break from the basic three act that most films use. The ending just kind of bothered me. I agree with you Childe Roland that just about any film is political.

  • July 25, 2006, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Do you guys really think this film has an agenda?

    by I Dunno

  • July 25, 2006, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Do you guys really think this film has an agenda?

    by I Dunno

    Sounds a little far fetched but maybe. I don't dig on all these animated animals with movie star voices but to each their own.

  • July 25, 2006, 8:17 p.m. CST

    comparing the People's Republic of China to North Korea

    by beamish13

    ...really illustrates how painfully ignorant you are. One is a dictatorship, the other a modified Socialist state with a free market economy but little political flexibility.

  • July 25, 2006, 8:23 p.m. CST


    by DojoFreak

    What I liked about Antz was that it questioned whether the main character had to stay in his position or could he rise above it.

  • July 25, 2006, 8:27 p.m. CST

    I want a nihilist bug movie with a tiny Nietzsche

    by Doctor_Sin


  • July 25, 2006, 8:31 p.m. CST

    I want a bug version of "Quo Vadis."

    by Uncapie

    "Vini, vedi, vici!"

  • July 25, 2006, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Have any of you seen Red Dawn lately?

    by HellKing

    When I saw it as a kid, it was considered and accused of being pro-America and patriotic. I heard a Republican who obviously wasn't born yet when it first came out but recently saw it. He called it liberal propaganda. If you've seen it recently you can understand why today's Republicans would be disgusted at the movie. Interesting how everything today has to have politically divisive label put to it when it most likely says nothing except for the person slapping tghe label. It's like Rashomon. It's really about you not them.

  • July 25, 2006, 8:38 p.m. CST

    a nihilistic bug movie

    by The Dum Guy

    Now that's a message I don't think kids get enough of. If we started teaching kids how everything around them might amount to nill, then maybe we'd have less terrorist or a dramatic rise in hedonism, either way we'd all be better off.

  • July 25, 2006, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Doesn't surprise me one bit.

    by detinue

    The ads and trailers for this film weren't exactly subtle about where the filmmakers were going with the theme. Though I wouldn't call it communism so much as collectivist. i.e. you are only worth as much as the group assigns you. And of course most every movie and work of art has some sort of agenda. The issue isn't that such things are made or ideas expressed, but how valid the idea is and what our reaction to it is. Do we accept every idea that comes down the pike as equal, or do we support the ones we like and work against the ones we don't.

  • July 25, 2006, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Weird . . .

    by Mechasheeva

    If this one's a hit I'll be checking out Fox News for all the angry pundits blaming Hollywood for brainwashing the children again.

  • July 25, 2006, 9:58 p.m. CST

    Communism isn't that bad of an idea...

    by LeiaDown&FuckHer it's core level. Problem is, it doesn't work, and trying to force it to work, or using it as a propoganda tool for dictatorship, which is what inevitably happens, makes it rife with corruption, exploitation and big brotherish power play, which completely udermines and loses the point of what Communism was supposed to be about in the first place. ************************************************************************** As for inapproriate CGI kids flicks I still want to see a Grasshopper version of Caligula...

  • July 25, 2006, 9:59 p.m. CST

    This is reminding me of that Monty Python skit

    by Doctor_Sin

    Where Marx and Mao are on the game show vying for a dining room set.

  • July 25, 2006, 10:05 p.m. CST

    So is David v. Goliath leftist pinko propaganda too?

    by minderbinder

    Seriously, this reviewer thinks the movie is a political manifesto because when ants face off against the exterminator, the ants win? Really? So I suppose the preferred plot would be the exterminator killing all the ants? Sounds like a hit to me.

  • July 25, 2006, 10:13 p.m. CST

    Ant and Aardvark

    by Fred

    Commie propaganda?

  • July 25, 2006, 10:26 p.m. CST

    And Polar Express made Santa Fascist, right?

    by Drath

    I think you're going out of your way again to be outrageous with your review of a kid's movie and striving for a nice fat and juicy controversial review. It sounds more like they were going for teamwork and not "get in line you drone" communism. The child is a bully who thinks that he can't rely on anyone else so he's a selfish bully (to ants), so of course he needs to be told the opposite--even if that opposite can be taken to an extreme that is equally bad. That's kind of why life is hard, you know, every philosophy can be taken too far. I have no idea if the movie handles that concept, or if it really does lost by the "everyone has a place" sentiment, or if you're making a big deal out of it for the sake of sensationalism the same way you made it sounds like Polar Express would have children worshiping the ghost of Hitler. The Incredibles was accused of supporting an elitist Neitzchian superman thing when it was trying to make the point that you should endeavor to meet your full potential and not deny it for the sake of fitting in with the herd. And gee, that's the opposite of this "be a drone" thinking. Fuck it, guess you can go to town analyzing those two then. Better yet just show both to a kid and let them cancel each other out...or create the next Hitler. I'm convinced the little bugger is somewhere in the sea of spoiled Tweens clogging the country right now anyway.

  • July 25, 2006, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Fuck you jayjew

    by Orionsangels

    you fuckin head choppin, self exploding baby killer, obsessed with religion, towel wearin sandal smellin grease stain on the world no good piece a shit. who the fuck supports these people? and says. Oh yeah that's a good thing. FREAKS!!!

  • July 25, 2006, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland

    by BadMrWonka

    wow, typos dropped a funny comment, followed closely by an intelligent commentary. if you were a girl I'd ask you out! a sense of humor and a brain are so rare here on the talkbacks...

  • July 25, 2006, 10:53 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    I think you missed the point, bud. like Massa said, it is left up to you to interpret it, but from his viewpoint, it very closely mirrored Marxist ideals. you're talking about teamwork? what is communism but intitutionalized teamwork? the only question is how far you're willing to delve into it to make your own assertion as to what it means. and not for nothing man, but Massa's seen it, and you haven't. so before you put your ideas over his, see the commie ant flick...also, either your name is Darth and you spelled it incorrectly, or you really love Rachel Dratch from SNL, and yet still spelled her name incorrectly...

  • July 25, 2006, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Some notes for the peanut gallery

    by Massawyrm 1

    Normally, I try to avoid mixing it up with the hard core motos in TB - but today, I think I'll make an exception. Because today, there are some honest to god dipshits running around the boards. And yes, Spiderhulk, I'm looking at you. Here's a list of words. Dangerous. Inappropriate. Wrong. Improper. Manipulative. What's so special about these words? None of them appear in the review. Nor is there any negative comments on communism. I use the term "Delightfully subversive" - but that's as close as I come. And I never tell anyone not to see the movie based on my interpretation of the film. And lo and behold, I'm not the only one seeing this in the film. Many who have seen it have been drawing similar conclusions. This isn't "Working together", this actually has a comentary monologue on our modern way of life and talk about how it's wrong compared to the ideals of the Ants. It's pretty blatant. Really? I see one film with communist ideals and suddenly I'm mother fucking McCarthy? Really dude, you're supposed to HUG the tree, not INSERT it.***Beamish 13 - come on man - saying one country and one world leader from another country will like it DOES NOT COUNT AS A COMPARISON. Especially when I'm mocking the crazy dictator when I do it.***Minderbinder, come on dude. I wrote several paragraphs on the communist ideas in the film. When you get around to watching it, then come back to me and tell me how I'm wrong.

  • July 25, 2006, 11:39 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    jayjew seems to be trying to goad people into discussions with him. first with the "we deserved 9/11" rhetoric earlier, now with the, "exterminate Lebanon" stuff...I kinda want to bite, but it seems too easy. like a short autistic kid challenging you to a game of basketball. you want to go, "sure, I'll dominate this kid" then you remember that youtube video where the autistic kid went 7 for 10 from 3pt's scary...

  • July 25, 2006, 11:43 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    you know I had your back! check it out, you'll see...remember the little people, man. I'm graduating film school in a few months and I'm planning on winning the Oscar for best Short film, live action...

  • July 25, 2006, 11:58 p.m. CST

    And So Sayeth The Word

    by The Ender

    "Fucktards shall be many, and many a talkback will they contaminate." The prophecy of JayJew. AKA Homewrecker.

  • July 26, 2006, midnight CST


    by Regenhund

    Home town autistic boy makes good.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:10 a.m. CST

    I think Massawyrm's a self-loathing commie, actually...

    by BurnHollywood

    ...After all, why did a "man so greedy and evil" immediately evoke in him the image of the "Great Capitalist Satan"? BTW, Massawyrm, every day I go to a place where "every Ant has his or her place" and individuality is heavily's called a CORPORATE FUCKING WORKPLACE.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Amen, BurnHollywood, Amen

    by Massawyrm 1

    But at that workplace, you don't get equal share of the spoils. God bless Capitalism ;)

  • July 26, 2006, 12:25 a.m. CST

    But what I REALLY wanted to know was...

    by s00p3rm4n

    In the movie about the cows... all the cows have udders! Even the male cows! Why, god, why? These people don't udderstand anatomy. That's right. I got so fucking mad about that stupid cow CGI flick that I used a cow anatomy pun. Take that, Hollywood elite! You're sucking the teat of Beelzebub and milking this curdled crap for all it's worth. So will I.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:29 a.m. CST


    by Orionsangels

    By that logical then most countries deserve to be attacked, bombed or whatever. We're not the only country that's committed atrocities. But since we're the only super power left in the world. We should know better, right? I was merely stating that if you agree with what the hijackers did on 9/11 than you support terrorism. In terms of economics. 9/11 didn't even dent America. We're stronger now than before 9/11. I don't agree with any violence to tell ya the truth, but if I had to choose between towel heads, dictators, commies ruling the world over America's lust for power and greed by bombing specific enemy targets in foreign countries. Give me greed and power anyday than purposly killing babies for fun. and you can bring up vietnam, no denying what happened there, but you know American troops aren't doing that in Iraq. or we would have heard about it by now. As the media and the world are basically against America and would love to exploit a story like that. I dunno, but when 9/11 happened I don't remember Americans grabbing muslims and burning them alive on the streets of NY, but in countries like Iraq & Lebanon. Where children even engage in prancing around for the camera with the burning corpse of americans. that anybody would compare us to these primitive savages is utterly insane to me.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:31 a.m. CST

    I got this, Massa...

    by BadMrWonka

    burnhollywood...first of all, if your name is a reference to the Zach De La Rocha song with a similar name, then kudos. but still...Massa gave a pretty concrete and consistent explanation of what led him to believe that the overall premise of the film was derived from communist literature. did he say it was propaganda? no. did he even imply that most kids would even understand the political aspect of it? no. did you really read and understand his review? again, no. but assuming you had, let's communism, it's true, the individual comes second to "the state" (read: the good of the people) but in a corporate environment, the individual comes second to the profits of the company. hardly the same thing. even the word "corporate" comes from 'corpor', the body. so in your example (and unfortunately, your job as well) the soul comes second to the body, but in communism in general, the soul comes in second only to the collective soul of the people.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:35 a.m. CST

    and while we're asking rhetorical questions

    by BadMrWonka

    have I been drinking cheap champagne while finishing the rough draft of a script due tomorrow? yes. do I still go back and correct every typo no matter how much I drink? yes. did I get the sarcastic humor in BurnHollywood's original post? maybe.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Male cows that have udders...that'll be the day!

    by Uncapie

    Try milking a bull and see what you get! Stupid city boy animators! Massawyrm is right and I hated Polar Express!

  • July 26, 2006, 12:59 a.m. CST

    It's hard to believe this is the Antbully talkback,haha

    by Orionsangels

    a childrens movie and WWIII has erupted

  • July 26, 2006, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Frankly, I think it's sexist to have the "Ant Bully"

    by Snookeroo

    without equivalent time given to the "Uncle Bully".

  • July 26, 2006, 1:52 a.m. CST

    massawyrm is right

    by isildur29

    I saw this at a screening the other day and several quotes and scenes can be taken as commie propoganda. I personally just watched it as another kid's CGI movie and didn't feel the communist theme as strongly as massa did but it is completely legit for him to read into it that way just as its cool for me to read into it as just another weak themed kids movie. Either way not a very fun or good ride. Will tank at box office (IMO) and be forgotten on DVD. The bad news...there is something like 10 computer animated movies left this year and none of them are pixar...:(

  • July 26, 2006, 2 a.m. CST

    Skeptical, Hero was over-rated crap

    by turk128

    It really was... my inner HK cinema geek dies just a lil every time the bandwagon fans say it's a masterpiece. I *highly* recogmend Jet Li's latest, Fearless. I was shocked how modern the moral message was... like a total opposite of Red China. I'm surprised the script was approved by the goverment over there (I mean, the Japanese in the flic was treated sympathetically!).

  • July 26, 2006, 2:03 a.m. CST


    by Muz

    this film's apparent... leanings are a good dig in the ribs to the overtly Randian "Incredibles"

  • July 26, 2006, 2:11 a.m. CST


    by The Dum Guy

    Are you mentally handicapped? Are you saying 9-11 needed to happen like the bombings in England or Russia or France? You must be either [1] a pathetic individual who must provoke answers to your talkbacks in order to validate your existence, or [2] a complete fucking moron. What actual good came from the destruction of the World Trade Center, eh? A new paradigm of fucking thought? Sorry, but you just come across as an ignorant blowhard, with nothing significant to say.

  • July 26, 2006, 2:37 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    I'm not hating...look, I know you're just having your fun and provoking don't care what we believe, much less what YOU only want to witness the funny dialogue that comes of it...the sad thing is this: everything I just said could also be applied to a handicapped 10-year-old that poops in his father's jayjew, the question is: is that the best you can hope for?

  • July 26, 2006, 3:05 a.m. CST

    God jayjew, I know all you want is attention

    by isildur29

    so i'll give you some. You are an immature borderline retard who for some reason invades a movie website talkback about a kid's movie named "The Ant Bully" only to post pro-terrorist rants and praise the events (tragedies) that are occuring world-wide right now. I have fun when people bring up the conspiracy crap on here and shit like that but it is usually in a 9/11 related TB. You are posting Pro-911 sentiments (for attention) in a review for a CGI ant movie for kids. You should google some political message boards and see if you can find a better place to spew your filth.

  • July 26, 2006, 3:31 a.m. CST

    well, capitalism is pretty much inherently evil...

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    however, it has been so good to me and my family that i can basically deal with that and live in comfort on the backs and the tears of the third world that we help to propagate.

  • July 26, 2006, 4:14 a.m. CST

    30 Vespa Mandarinia should take out the ant colony

    by Orionsangels

  • July 26, 2006, 4:25 a.m. CST

    "911 times ten"

    by Orionsangels

    What's that a nuclear explosion? America won't stand for that. If we go down we're taking you fools with us. Vengeance will reign upon you ten fold. You can't win. We all lose.

  • July 26, 2006, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Scottish Prof Neill Ferguson

    by emeraldboy

    Put it brilliantly in his New Book and series. War of the World. War of the Worlds is Sci-fi however if you look a little closer, HG welles was on to something. Take communism for example. The US government decided it was going to defeat communism and stop these"martians" from invading. In truth there was no such threat. So the US government invented one and began to scare the shit out the US public that there was a threat and that it was coming after us. Transport that to the modern day. It is same thing all over again. There is a threat, it is coming after us and we had better deafeat or it destroy our way of life. The wars of the last century. For our attitude to Germany. They were Fascists bent on world domination. While that is true. The German government of 1932-1947 regarded the Jews as sub german and killed 6 million of them. However, we, the rest of the world. took the reverse view. Jews who fled nazi german, were german and there were considered a threat. even though they had lost everything. We looked at the jews then with hostility and suspicion and when they arrived like UK Writer David Baddiel's family did, we Set then up in B&B and scrubed them of their german identities. I live in Ireland and yesterday there was a news story where the UK home sec. announced plans to keep out ayslum seekers who were coming in illeagally from N. Africa. Europe is becoming Eurarabia. if you have valid reasons to want to stay in Britain/ireland, the message goes then you are more then welcome if you can add to are economy. if not you are not welcome

  • July 26, 2006, 5:01 a.m. CST


    by Azlam Orlandu

    There have been honest to god dipshits running around these boards since 1999 or so. At least around the time I started to visit. It's a neverending battle because the problem with the internet is that everyone can get on it.

  • July 26, 2006, 5:36 a.m. CST


    by Negatif1

    the freedom to fly high and shit on those below you... you could use a little communism.

  • July 26, 2006, 6:54 a.m. CST


    by Drath

    Ooo, I just got powned by a bitch! Because I really respect someone who attacks a handle that he knows nothing about while he doesn't even know to put a period after Mr. As for missing the point, no I didn't, I said he's taking it too far just for kicks, just as he does a lot of times, and I acknowledge that we can all read into these movies what we choose--he just chooses to go with something really over the top when it comes to kid movies. I don't have to see this movie to see the pattern--but I will just the same.

  • July 26, 2006, 7:28 a.m. CST

    I'm waiting for David T. Lindsay's review

    by rev_skarekroe

    It should be fun. Check out his other stuff for why I think so

  • July 26, 2006, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Nice one Massa, you like the hot potatoes...

    by brycemonkey

    Although in your next politically flavoured review I'd perhaps call the protagonist a 'little retard'. That will get both sides going after you ;-) A Communist kids movie in 2006? Who woulda thunk it...

  • July 26, 2006, 8:16 a.m. CST

    "Communist Manifesto for Kids"

    by MachinaMan

    Funny stuff, though I suspect most kids (and quite a few adults) will not get the connection -- if it exists outside of Masswyrm's head, that is. Which is why I am glad that he also spends time on simply is it a good cartoon (is that what CGI films are called? I always have difficulty in that CGI is clearly not 'real', but at the same time it is not animated in the tradtional manner) or not.

  • July 26, 2006, 8:38 a.m. CST

    "Mein Kampf" for kids?

    by Doctor_Sin

    If Ants are nature's commies, who are nature's Nazis? I wish we got a little Stalin-type ant who sends misbehaving bugs off to the gulag. (Ant to shrunken boy): "I hope you learned your place. Do not question the glorious revolution. You will get shipped off somewhere cold and lonely forever."

  • July 26, 2006, 8:51 a.m. CST

    I totally get what you're saying, The Skeptical...

    by Childe Roland

    ...about feeling let down by the ending. I just sensed some folks would prefer their movies have no agenda at all beyond filling up a couple hours with flashing lights and moving pictures (and, if so, I'll have some of whatever it is they're taking/smoking to make that a worthwhile investment of their time). While I'm all for interpretation, I think there's such a thing as reading way too much into a theme or a symbol. Sometimes a cigar is just supposed to be a penis and not necessarily Uncle Funnytouch's penis, you know? And on your allegorical/theoretical ending for The Dark Tower saga, I personally think that would've been better than what we got. But I'm pretty much convinced ol' Stevie just stopped giving a shit about that world and those characters around midway through book five.

  • July 26, 2006, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Massa doesn't know socialism from communism

    by CrispyOne

    And calling the two an "ultra-Liberal" hug shows just how over his head Massa is trying to invoke political history in a movie review. Get a fucking clue.

  • July 26, 2006, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Sorry, I probably won't get around to seeing it, MW.

    by minderbinder

    Just commenting on what you wrote. Maybe there's some full-on commie propaganda in the film. But most of the stuff you complain about seems like pretty generic standard movie fare. Seriously, you're complaining that the movie promotes sharing and working together. I guess you expect your kids movies to be about greed and fucking each other over? Sorry, your review just comes off as knee-jerk. And jayjew, way to unintentionally invoke Team America, that gave me a big laugh.

  • July 26, 2006, 10:01 a.m. CST

    So Massa...

    by crackerfarmboy

    You think that the notions of tolerance and sharing are "pro-communist" ideas? Are those ideas really dangerous for kids to learn about? Should they instead learn about how to compete to survive in a cutthroat workplace? Or someother important "capitalist" ideas? Are you at all familiar with communism or are you just going by what Rush and O'Reily told you? Unreal.

  • July 26, 2006, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter

    by brycemonkey

    ... -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus but it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!

  • July 26, 2006, 10:33 a.m. CST

    But brycemonkey...

    by Childe Roland

    ...what about jism? Surely you believe in that. Personally, it's the only -ism I believe in. Now -asm's, on the other hand...well...I just have to take her word for it on the existence of those.

  • July 26, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Thanks Childe...

    by brycemonkey

    bringing sense and a nasty aftertaste to the TB ;-)

  • July 26, 2006, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Hey, who wants to make Wyrm a communist avatar?

    by Bean_

    Someone who is artistic, I can't use Photoshop for shit!

  • July 26, 2006, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Bring on the communism

    by sith-vol

    I cant get enough. Seriously...why not? We already have a government that subverts the truth to its own twisted ideals, and exploits its people. Between starvation in the streets and illegal foriegn wars...we are well on our way. Way to go Uncle Joe....I mean George...when do we get the state run healthcare?....Let the shouting begin.

  • July 26, 2006, 11:29 a.m. CST

    "The O'

    by Engineer_at_peac

  • July 26, 2006, 11:30 a.m. CST

    "The O'Reilly Factor" for kids... the movie

    by Engineer_at_peac

  • July 26, 2006, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Massawyrm, here's why it'll never play in North Korea..

    by GreatWhiteNoise

    ... or China or Cuba or any other Communist state: ants are actually REAL communists. The workers control the means of production, there are no political struggles among classes (apart from the queen, but everyone needs a figurehead), and society exists free of any kind of social persecution. The so-called "communist" states existing today bear none of those traits, which of course is what makes them the dictatorships-passing-themselves-off-as-communist states that they are. Biiiig difference between communism and Stalinism, kids. For that reason, they'd be nuts to show this in any existing "communist" state. Gawd, it'd show them all that once you take away the elite creaming off the top and keeping the rest down, their regime really needn't be the miserable existence they've got. (In that vein, a nice companion to this film would be a remake of "Animal Farm", dontcha think? Hmm... "Ant Farm"...)

  • July 26, 2006, 11:39 a.m. CST

    But you knew all of that already...

    by GreatWhiteNoise

    I just figured it'd make for interesting conversation.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:06 p.m. CST

    You're right: The kids movie shouldn't be about caring


    It should be about how the Queen ant trades on the lives of her enslaved folowers who don't know they are slaves and would gladly give everything they have to their corporate master. And then blow stuff up. And then have consequence-free sex. That's so much better propaganda than what the commies got.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    JayJew you are a troll and a cad.

    by JuggFuckler

    You rant like a college freshman, at a public university no less.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Label - lapel

    by Ninja Nerd

    There's only one letter different, yet that changes the entire meaning. And, you can wear one on the many of you are apparently doing in the TB. I live in a "Red" state and we had a primary election yesterday. In all the ads saturating the airwaves the last few weeks, I observed that most candidates listed themselves as "Conservative" as if that were automatically a "good thing". One assclown touted himself as the "most conservative Conservative there is". One female candidate for Lt. Governor stated part of her platform was to "Keep America Strong" to fight terrorism. And of course, the ongoing theme was that LIBERALS were counter to all that is right and holy. Folks, Liberal = Communist is bad math...that equation does not solve for any variable. Likewise, Conservative = Truth, Justice, and the American Way is also BULLSHIT. Red, Blue, Meow, Moo...bite me. If your kids are "brainwashed" by movies like "The Ant Bully", then you as a parent are responsible. Not the movie, not the kids....YOU! One of the primary duties of a parent is teaching Junior the difference between shit and shine-ola. And if you're truly enlightened, not your favorite brands of either one. Indeed, the village has idiots...far too many as evidenced by the talkback today. Hey, believe whatever you want about the world, this country, the cowboy asswipe currently in the White House, the Muslims, the Israelis, etc., but take the time to understand how and why you think that way. Was it your parents? The schools you attended? Your inability to think for yourself? The need to feel important that led you to parrot whatever talking head last appeared on your boob tube? Regardless, read a book, newspaper, talk to people OUTSIDE your safe little clique and honestly review your beliefs and ideals. As a fun exercise, put yourself in someone else's place and try to understand why they might not think America has their best interest at heart. Might give you pause. Then again, that might be too mind boggling, so load up on the Chee-tos and Mountain Dew and call it a day. Treat yourself to some porn and jerk off as usual. Yeah, that's probably good.

  • July 26, 2006, 12:58 p.m. CST

    I Hate Commie Ants!!

    by BobParr

    I can not believe this TB. A Marxist ant movie review is a cue to start the same political arguments time and again? What I want to know is is the animated Nicholas Cage Ant as weird and creepy as the real Nicholas Cage? And does he marry a lot of other ants and quickly divorce them?

  • July 26, 2006, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Movies with terrible messages. Pretty Woman...

    by brycemonkey

    become a prostitute and a good looking millionaire will marry you. Anyone beat that?

  • July 26, 2006, 1:20 p.m. CST

    How about Spanglish?

    by BobParr

    The young Mexican girl can go to an extremely prestigious private school for free but her Mexican mom forbids her to go because she will become too American. BTW, they live in America!!****The other terrible message was that a guy who looks like Adam Sandler can be married to Tea Leoni and have a hot piece of ass Mexican maid on the side. Not gonna happen.

  • July 26, 2006, 1:28 p.m. CST

    On the subject of Ants

    by Lobanhaki

    Ant's are actually the ultimate free-market fanatics, controlled by nothing more than than the emergent effects of the patterns of chemical currency they pass between each other. There really is no hierarchy in Ant Government. Of course, that means that ants die by the thousands for stupid crap, but then, the economy is more important than the individual's stake in things.

  • July 26, 2006, 1:53 p.m. CST

    How about Lady in the Water?

    by HellKing

    We all should believe in fairies because only they will lead humanity in the right direction and make us worship M. Night as a living god because his words of wisdom will start a revolution for the better in the world.

  • July 26, 2006, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm, your a brilliant muchacho

    by Fandude

    I would have respected the Ant Bully if they would have been a bit more subtle in their ideology. Thanks for the review. Fandude

  • July 26, 2006, 1:58 p.m. CST


    by Laser Floyd

    I actually read this script at Warner's last year for my job as a designer for a video game company. The script is shit- believe me. It's Jimmy Neutron shit. That bad. Not a fresh idea in the whole thing. And how many CG movies about ants are they going to make, anyway? I saw a kids' movie a couple of months ago, and the trailers before the film were all CG cartoons, and they shared at least a dozen jokes and concepts between them. One: an old person's false teeth fall out for a joke, often picked up by an animal, and that animal smiles revealing the teeth. Two: exterinators are called in to deal with the protagonists. Three: the animals all 'rock out' to an inexpensive hit we all know from the 70's or 80's. Four: one sassy female animal with the voice of a prominent African American actress or singer lays down the law in her 'Nuh-uh Girlfriend!' mode. I could go on, but I am actually starting to get nauseous.

  • July 26, 2006, 1:58 p.m. CST

    This is nothing new - the Smurfs were commies too

    by FluffyUnbound

    You can look it up.

  • July 26, 2006, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Huh?! I thought the Smurfs were created...

    by seppukudkurosawa

    to get us used to the idea of having blue people around, so that we don't act too shocked when Krishna comes down to Earth (he's due here around mid-March 2011). I thought that was common knowledge.

  • July 26, 2006, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Smurfs were done so that we don't get freaked

    by brycemonkey

    when Dr Atom turns up on the scene. I want my Watchmen now damnit!!!

  • July 26, 2006, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Re: not necessary as a theme in an ant movie

    by KCMOSHer

    Just to juxtapose, A Bug's Life was, like most Pixar movies, a conservative film. Socialism isn't working for the ants, because everyone being the same and doing the same work leaves them open to attack by the evil grasshopper dictator who takes the fruit of their labors. The one individualist, who is rejected by the socialist hive, goes out and recruits a coalition of the willing to come in and help drive away the evil grasshoppers with ingenuity and by playing on their individual strengths. So inspiring is this individual sacrifice of the one little reject ant that the other ants realize they don't have to just play their role in the socialist hive. This leads to the once-and-for-all overthrow of the oppressor and a period of innovation and entrepreneurialism which leads to a bounty for all ants and a friendship between the ants and other bugs. Sounds like The Ant Bully preaches the exact opposite message, so I'll definitely be avoiding it. Oh, and for a 'delightfully subversive' kids movie, see Hoodwinked. Andy Dick voicing a character in a kid's flick and the entire SCHNITZEL! segment are more subversive than any socialist manifesto.

  • July 26, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    nine eleven times ten?!

    by drave117

    Good lord... that's.... nine-thousand, one hundred and ten!

  • July 26, 2006, 4:07 p.m. CST

    I Just Like The Idea of Hollywood . . .


    Lecturing kids about working together. That's fine for CGI ants, but the backstabbing and in fighting in Hollywood is legion. The message might be for the army of animators, fx, and other working shlubs who make piss in highly techinical jobs while Julia Roberts and Nicholas Cage and the producers make money hand-over-fist lecturing the "little people"--like CGI artists--on knowing their place, "working together for the good of all", and not questioning the established order. Like Nicholas Cage making more than half the animators on the film put together did in a year for about a week of audio recording. Work together, worker bees, while you're Hollywood overlords, uh, make sure you're all equal and stuff. But just remember, some folks are more equal than others.

  • July 26, 2006, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Say what you want about the nitwittery that goes on...

    by Childe Roland this or any other talkback, Ninja Nerd, but the minute you start bad-mouthing porn you've crossed the line. Do you have any idea how many acts of violence jerking off prevents in a year? Well...I'm sure it's a lot! Not to mention the very valuable variation in repetitive motion the act itself provides to those most inclined to it (the point, click and type set). Masturbation may be the best ward against carpal tunnel for these guys. And you callously dismiss it as some self-indulgent behavior (like, I dunno, pontificating on a talkback?). For shame! Oh, and brycemonkey, Pretty Woman is probably my most reviled film of all time (not to be confused with the out-and-out worst film of all time, The Brown Bunny...which contains the only unwatchable blowjob I've ever glimpsed -- including that horse video that was circulating on the Internet a few years back). In fact, back when I was still dating, one of my standard first-date interview questions was "What's your favorite movie?" Any girl who responded "Pretty Woman" got an immediate "Thanks for playing" and a copy of the "Why wasn't he into me?" home game. And people wonder where gals like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie got their bizarre ideas about femininity and romance.

  • July 26, 2006, 4:58 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Childe. It always bugged me...

    by brycemonkey

    a LOT of women I know who are in their late 20s LOVE Pretty Woman something terrible. And I try and make them see the error of their ways. But somehow screaming "YOU STUPID VAPID, VACANT BITCH!!! IT'S ADVOCATING BECOMING A WHORE! RICHARD GEAR IS AS MANLY AS A FEATHER BOA!! THIS IS SHIT! ARRRRGGGGHHH!!!" never seems to jolt them from their fantasy world...

  • July 26, 2006, 5:02 p.m. CST

    bryce, next time try...

    by Childe Roland

    ...asking them if they've seen the bootleg director's cut where Richard Gere finds out Julia gave him herpes and beats the shit out of her in the back of his limo. I had one gal going on that for days. Told her it didn't test well, so they changed it to the scene where George from Seinfeld gives her the fat lip instead.

  • July 27, 2006, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Pretty Woman is absolutely terrible.

    by superninja

    Dumbest movie ever.

  • July 27, 2006, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Seems like another Reviewer came to a similar

    by JUSTICE41

    Conclusion as Massa. Check it here. He alsos throws out Hezbollahs name as well.

  • July 27, 2006, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Re: Animeted flix have been turned into propoganda

    by darth mortis

    "Animeted flix have been turned into propoganda" too funny. kinda reminds me how Fox News has turned media into Fascist Neo Conservative propaganda.

  • Nov. 15, 2006, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Well, but more importantly...

    by JackPumpkinhead was a really lousy film, boring and unfunny.