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Capone Wants To Strangle LADY IN THE WATER!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey, everyone.
Capone in Chicago here.
By the time you read this, you will
have read Harry's glowing account of Lady in the Water and Moriarty's "Story
is looking for a writer" grad student thesis (I'd actually re-title it
"Review is looking for an ending").
You'll have seen the frustration in some
Talkbackers' words wondering why nobody can just plainly say whether the
film is any good or not. And while I appreciate this need, I'm afraid I'm
not going to make things any easier on you folks.
At times I felt like this
might be the first film I've seen in all the years writing for AICN that I
ultimately didn't like but might still say you should see just for the
experience. Other times...well...other times I felt differently, probably
much closer to what Moriarty felt about the film than Harry. And it was
during one of these times that I wrote what follows...
It's now been nearly two weeks since I watched writer-director M. Night
Shyamalan's Lady in the Water, and I'm no closer to knowing exactly how I
feel about it. I take breaks from thinking about it, but my mind keeps
drifting back to this sometimes baffling but always fascinating work from a
man whose films I essentially worship and thrill in dissecting without fail.
It's not that I was confused by any aspect of the movie; it all made sense
to me. It's not that I've forgotten what it's like to daydream or believe in
fairies, or that I'm too old to "get it" (as that bastard Harry Knowles
claims).
What puzzles me, however, is what Shyamalan is trying to do here.
The man has dazzled me by reinventing the ghost story (The Sixth Sense),
superhero mythology (Unbreakable), alien invasion stories (Signs), and
historical dramas (The Village). Sometimes he surprises me, but the man
never fails to key into my emotional core. These are the subjects I was
fascinated by as a younger man. And without realizing it until Shyamalan
started making films, I was desperate for someone to recapture my enthusiasm
for these things.
Maybe my problems with Lady in the Water stem from the fact that I don't
have any clear memories of my parents reading me bedtime stories as a child,
or more to the point, they never made up bedtime stories. The film feels
like a parent telling a child a bedtime story over the course of several
days or weeks, making up new plots and characters on a daily basis, and
sometimes changing the rules because the story demands it and not for any
logical reasons.
As a result, Lady in the Water feels like it rambles, going
off on tangents that never amount to anything, and eventually spinning out
of the control until it ends abruptly and coldly. There are so many things
to love about this movie, but those elements get bogged down in Shyamalan's
fascination with his own narrative devices.
I'd hoped he would explore the darker corners of fairy tales. In this case,
the plot focuses on a lonely and very sad man named Cleveland Heep (a moving
performance by Paul Giamatti). Paul is an educated man, who abandoned his
life after his wife and son were killed to become a maintenance man at an
apartment complex called the Cove.
When the film begins, he is showing the
building's newest tenant (a film critic played by Bob Balaban) to his room,
meeting many of the Cove's residences along the way. Cleveland has a mild
stutterand he writes his sad
thoughts in a journal that we assume no one else will ever read.
The craziness begins when Cleveland catches a pale young woman swimming in
the Cove's swimming pool. She seems slightly hurt, and Cleveland brings her
into his solitary apartment to nurse her back to health. It turns out that
this girl's name is Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), and she is a Narf (not a
mermaid, by the way, for those who thought Night doing a remake of Splash).
She's something like a nymph, who comes from the "blue world."
An
unnecessary opening sequence lays out the mythology concerning Narfs and the
eagles that bring them to and from our world, and the evil creatures that
hunt them. Lady in the Water is the type of film where the fantastical is
questioned only briefly, not because Shyamalan is trying to keep things
moving, but because characters in fairly tales rarely challenge such things.
And the only proof Cleveland needs that Story is something remarkable is
that his stutter disappears when she's near him.
For a time, I believed Shyamalan was using the fairy tale as a veiled excuse
to introduce us to some truly fascinating characters: the men and women of
the Cove. Jeffrey Wright plays a man who is obsessed with crossword puzzles
and lives with his young son who sees patterns and images on the backs of
cereal boxes. There is the group of stoners (led by Jared Harris) who sit
around an apartment all day talking and theorizing about things that mean
nothing. Sketches of characters (played by the likes of Mary Beth Hurt,
Freddy Rodriguez, Bill Irwin, and Sarita Choudhury) float in and out of
Cleveland's life in his attempts to discover what Story's purpose in the
world is and how to get her back to the blue world.
Many of the rules of the Narf world are given to us through an old Korean
woman whose daughter translates for Cleveland her memories of bedtime
stories from her childhood. These sections of the film feel forced and lazy.
Put simply, there is entirely too much exposition between the Korean woman
and Cleveland, and just when we think we've got the Narf story straight, she
remembers something else about the legends and passes on more information to
Cleveland at the exact time he happens to need that particular nugget of
knowledge. During these scenes, my eyes started to glaze over, especially in
the scene in which Giamatti is forced to act like a little boy to put the
old broad at ease.
Shyamalan's fatal plot flaw is not giving us enough of Story. She often sits
quietly huddled somewhere while the humans buzz around her attempting to
extract the tiniest bit of information from her. She is able to see into
their futures, which is a terrifying concept but one that is only briefly
explored. And then there are the scary dog-like creatures that roam the
grounds blending in with the grass around the pool, waiting for a moment to
strike and kill the Narf. These bad boys are genuinely scary, and they give
us a window into the M. Night we are more familiar with.
Using what they know about the creatures of the blue world, the tenants
discover that some among them are necessary to perform certain tasks in
order to get the poor Narf girl back home. Using the advice of the film
critic (who is, of course, well versed in plot devices), Cleveland gathers
his fellowship and attempts to prepare everything required to get Story her
ail-mail pick up from an eagle.
The turn the plot takes from this point on
is curious but hardly the stuff wonderment is built on. There is no surprise
ending, and that's okay; I think that device is well past its welcome in
Shyamalan. But what he gives us instead is so ordinary and colorless that I
couldn't help but be more than a little disappointed.
And let's talk about the Narf's name for a second: Story. Subtle, right?
Shyamalan is driving home the point that this film is about act and art of
weaving tales. He's doing it and so are several of the characters in the
film. It's as if Night is telling us that people have lost the gift of oral
gab, and this film is an attempt to restore interest in the practice. Every
chance he gets, Shyamalan adds layers and facts to his original premise for
Lady in the Water, but instead of felling like a flower blooming, the story
feels like a weighty brick wall, slapped together without nearly the
craftsmanship to let it stand on its own.
I'm assuming that most people will feel compelled to withhold judgment on
Lady in the Water until the very end of the film, as it should be. But gut
tells me that most will abandon interest in it much earlier. Some will jump
ship the minute they realize that Shyamalan does something in this film he's
never done before: he casts himself in a lead role.
Those of us who pay
attention, know that Night has always had cameos in his film, but here, he
takes on the part of a would-be writer who ends up being arguably the most
important person in the movie. I'm not knocking the guy's performance in any
way; he's actually pretty damn good in the role.
But when you find out
(through Story) what his character's role in the future is destined to be,
you will probably laugh. If you don't know what Shyamalan looks like, this
more than likely won't bother you in the slightest, but it was a major
distraction for me in a film that already had too many distractions.
There's a small part of me that wanted to be the guy who championed this
film against an onslaught of naysayers claiming Shyamalan has lost his mind
and/or his talent. While I certainly don't believe either of those is true,
Lady in the Water is a film that is as thematically splintered as it is
visually radiant.
This movie tore my brain apart trying to understand what
this gifted writer-director was going for. And sitting here now, I think I
know what he was going for; I'm just not sure I cared. And when you stop
caring about the characters AND the story/Story, well, that's the deathblow
of any film.
So, now we know M. Night Shyamalan is not perfect. I have no
doubt he'll continue to make exceptional films, but Lady in the Water is not
one of them.
Capone
(through Story) what his character's role in the future is destined to be,
you will probably laugh. If you don't know what Shyamalan looks like, this
more than likely won't bother you in the slightest, but it was a major
distraction for me in a film that already had too many distractions.
film against an onslaught of naysayers claiming Shyamalan has lost his mind
and/or his talent. While I certainly don't believe either of those is true,
Lady in the Water is a film that is as thematically splintered as it is
visually radiant.
this gifted writer-director was going for. And sitting here now, I think I
know what he was going for; I'm just not sure I cared. And when you stop
caring about the characters AND the story/Story, well, that's the deathblow
of any film.
doubt he'll continue to make exceptional films, but Lady in the Water is not
one of them.
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+ Expand All
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Is this the prelude to some kind of Civil War... one year later?
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I think 25 reviews on one sight is enough...
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i will see this and be disappointed!
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Thank God. Thanks, Capone. I've basically already said everything I'm going to say in Mori's talkback, but I wanted to jump in here and say that if Mori jumps the AICN ship and starts his own review/rumors site (as he should), you should highly consider joining him.
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Jul 20, 2006 12:35:26 PM CDT
We're really not frustrated/confused here in the TB...
by ricky henderson
We all know that this film is no damned good.
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ROFTLMFAO LOTR GVR SR LITW ROTS WTF?
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I think the accurate term for The Village is "cinematic abortion of the lowest order". And NO, we don't any more reviews of this movie. When did this site turn into RottenTomatoes???
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simple reviews please.
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the complicated reviews made his bwain hurt.
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Still not having seen the film, I was struck by this review and I think I see what M Night might have been going for.
If Sixth Sense was about turning ghost stories inside out and Unbreakable was about breaking the superhero conventions, putting them into a real world then Lady in the Water would be about turning storytelling inside out. Maybe he's saying that you can't simply tell innocent and exciting stories and that really they are inevitably Jeungian and egocentric. Maybe he has made his 'twist ending' so in-your-face that you can't see it. Maybe it is talking about shrodinger's cat. The paradigm shift on a simple bed-time story is that it can't be simple. If that is what he is trying to do then it leads to some strange thinking. His current wierdness and self-promotion, linked to portraying himself as a messiah in the film is all conciously part of his 'twist'. The real world perception that he is an egomaniac is required for the point he tries to make in the film.
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Can I have some? On second thought, I'd better not...
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Why the delay? Your review could have been FIRST!!! It's time for the reviewers to start firstying each other and then maybe this site's content would be fresher...
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is it because Harry and Mori's reviews get to be 'Top Stories' whereas Capone and Massa's are only 'latest' and will die a quicker death? Although Capone's really is 'latest'!!! I kill me... Just saying is all.
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so who's next? we still hav quint, vern and herc.
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so who's next? we still hav quint, vern and herc.
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so who's next? we still hav quint, vern and herc.
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How very *suave*
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All of these reviews (except for Harry's which was an outright shill) read the same: "I am so sorry this movie sucks Mr. Night. It sucks so bad that we can't even to pretend to like it. Maybe we can claim to have mixed feelings but proclaim faith in you as a filmmaker and a man. We won't officially kill it but we can't exactly endorse it. Please like us!"
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Man's a genius. Sadly most talkbackers are too stupid or impatient to appreciate this fact.
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Says it all. Even though they were totally wrong on Pirates and Supes, I have a good feeling about their verdict for this stinker.
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It suck elephant balls, Shammydinaling sucks donkey dick, the movie sucks boulders through a flavorstraw, Shammydingleberry sucks the oxygen out of any room he walks into ....
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Lady sucks Narf balls !!! Hahahahahahhhahahha !!!!
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Watch out for the scary Chia pets in the bushes, ooooooohhhhh, scary ....
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Sure man, it's our fault. We must not get it. The Village and Lady in the Water are misunderstood masterpieces... There's this guy you should meet from another talkback, his name is forumfatale...
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I can't think of a single movie I hated more than The Village. Wait, yes, I can. "The Mummy Returns", reviewed in glowing prose by this site's very own Harry Knowles, who made it sound as if you received a coupon for a free handjob with every ticket. Needless to say, you did not. YOU DID NOT.
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You people are too fond of your own babbling.
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we're just tired of Shingleberry's babbling.
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that he liked Jar Jar Binks. Anyone who dare take him seriously should never forget that fact.
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I was referencing the idiot reviewers of this site, not the TB'ers. The TB'ers are far more entertaining and some are even decent writers. Not so the hacks that keep reviewing things here. They are in love with their own shit prose and it has become all too obvious who really pays to keep the lights on in this shit shack.
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I'm still tired of Swamisuxballs ramblings, though. For your entertainment check the details at themoviespoiler website. UGH !!!!
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M. Night is still one of the better filmmakers out there these days. yes, he promotes himself too much, but at least the man has some talent in the art of storytelling. And "The Village" was great. Once I hear a legitimate reason why it was a bad film, then I will dicuss.
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...but for having started this off with a scathing length-based criticism of Mori's review (and an inference that he came to no real conclusion) you sure spent a lot of unnecessary words getting to the eventual point of your review. And the fact that you also read Harry's and Mori's and everyone else's before writing that intro while admitting that you saw the film a full two weeks ago and could've weighed in at any point before now doesn't strengthen the walls of that glass house you're hucking rocks from any. Just sayin'...
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Don't hate me, hate the money I see, clothes that I buy, ice that I wear, clothes that I try, or somethin' like that. Yeah, like ma man Nas said. Y'all better stop hatin' on a player. Back me up, AK.
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...calm down. Yah come here everyday hoping to read something interesting. Isnt that what you get?...like...i really dont get it. You're SERIOUSLY dissing AICN!? I gotta tell yah, ive never been a fan of the whole 'living in the parents basement' stereotype, but you guys...what else COULD you be?
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I agree he is a good film maker but the Village was piss poor with a plot that made no sense and was a giant lie from start to finish. It did look nice though.
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Are you actually black, or even from an urban area for that matter? I mean you sound like someone pretending to be black just to have a talkback schtick and, dude, it comes off as a racist. That said, if you're not being sarcastic about Shyamalan than I agree with you.
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I thought you worshipped a poster of Shammysuckoff ???
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I can't even remember the last time I wrote something in Talkback, but let me address Roland's comments. First, my "scathing criticism" about the length of Moriarty's review was a joke. You may have noticed, the regular contributors to this site tend to poke fun at each other a lot. For example, when Harry claims he anally raped Mori, that's a joke (I hope). Harry and Moriarty are my fucking heroes in many respects (and not just because of the constant sodomy they exchange), but that doesn't mean I have to agree with them all the time or like the fact that sometimes they write a little on the long side. Second, there's a somewhat unique situation here among Chicago-based critics: if we want to keep getting invited to advanced screenings, we have to hold our reviews until the release date of the film (in most cases). Since there are midnight showings of LADY IN THE WATER tonight, technically the review can go up today. However, about 95 percent of my review was written right after I saw the film. I did not change a word of it after reading anybody else's review. But I figured at this point on the site, most regular readers had read several reviews, and I acknowledged that in my intro. I often wait until just before my review is posted to write the intro. It just so happens that my intro for this film is a lot longer than most that I write. To summarize, the only rocks thrown in my review are at M. Night's movie.
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As John McLane once said: 'WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL." If you didn't see dead Bruce coming from a half-mile away in Sixth Sense then you're exactly the kind of person that Shamalamadingdong's films are designed to work for, and I'll leave them to you.
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Are there any movies you dislike? There fucking better not be, because according to you, you have absolutely no business criticizing anything, because you couldn't do any better. NOBODY IS JEALOUS OF MNS. Stop acting like a little kid.
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"he actually makes HUGE bowel movements that MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SMELL A MILE AWAY."
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... if average joes aren't qualified to criticize movies, then by your logic they aren't qualified to throw ridiculous praise on them either, like say, comparing a moderately-talented-but slumping writer/director to Shakespere, for instance. You fucking douchenozzle.
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THAT was HARSH !!! Never read "douchenozzle" before, wonder if it'll catch on ???
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I second the guy who said "do we really need more reviews of this movie?" I'd prefer to see more "insider" stuff that the studio lawyers are going to ask them to take down. And Capone has a good avatar.
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It caught on faster than I thought it would !! Anyway, I have something new to shout at idiot drivers ??!!!
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Son, you best back tha fuck off! I thought y'all had ma back cause y'all ain't down with tha haters, but now y'all gotta go an' call me a racist. That's fucked up, son! Bitch, don't y'all undastand that e'en white boys from tha sticks (an' I mean some rural shit, I ain't down with no suburbs) been talkin' like this for years? Muthafucka, I'm gettin' back to the ROOTS a this shit, y'all! It was ma man Puffy started everybody talkin' 'bout haters in tha first damn place. Remember y'all ROOTS, bitch, an' stop hatin' on a player!
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THAT HURT !!!! I'm putting on my asbestos jammies, this is heating up. (Just for the record, my flamethrower has been disabled.)
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...sarcasm doesn't always come across on the Internet. It honestly looked to me like you were taking an honest shot at Mori (who may deserve it from time to time, but his "Water" review was the best I've read so far) and then doing the very thing you knocked him for. Maybe a special "I'm kidding" font or winky emote would've helped get your intent across better? In light of your clarification, disregard my criticisms and don't lose any sleep over it.
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Colour me wrong. :-(
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Is it ok if I call you cupcake from now on? Cupcake sounds better than "forumfatale"
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is a huge douchenozzle. Get a new gimmick "brotha." H-Dogg on The Onion not only beat you to it but he does much much better.
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or am I sweating from laughing out loud soooo much !!!!!
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You are laughing because you are a moron. QED.
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I've been loving these 'Narf in the water' reviews guys. I haven't laughed this much in a while. I'm intrieged now. I wanna see this mess of a movie.
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Look chief, you need to stop compulsively posting the same thing over and over in multiple talkbalks. Its creeping me out.
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I made the same observation yesterday. I'm normally quite polite in TBs but there's only so much stupid I can take...
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don't pick on me, I gotta rare form of OCB or sumthin'. I AM laughing because I'm a MOORON.
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You are slightly less funny than a dead puppy.
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Did Harry really say he liked JAR JAR BINKS? That piece of info forever casts evrything he reviews into a whole new light. I bet he buried THAT review very deep.
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THAT HURT !! My Mommie even felt that one. (hahahahahahahahhahahhhh)
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Suprisingly I havent posted about this since I love Nights films, yes especially The Village but I had to say something. So what if the reviews are odd, fractured, and confused. Some times movies make us feel this way. Besides considering the reviews it looks like this will be the last film Night will ever do so why dont you guys just chill out for once. You guys got your wish it is the end of his carrer.
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Why else the exessive need for attention? Or the fact that he ingnores any critcisism? Eh, I'm just being goofy now...
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now for a serious note ... I went to themoviespoiler website, which has a blow by blow report of what happens in "Lady". It's two notches below assinine. It's sloppy storytelling. It's ego-mania on parade. Hitchcock walked through his films as a joke, but Shammysuxadingo thinks he can really ACT. And it's pitiful. Really, really pitiful. Tim Burton make films with huge leaps of logic, but they make sense in the context of the story. In "Lady" almost nothing makes sense, no matter how you look at it.
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But it's hilarious how you claim it is a "pretty famous online forum" with "absolutely no rules!" First off, there seem to be about 5 people who post there regularly. Lively forum. Also, there also appears to be a lot of people there posing as women by putting up avatars of attractive lades. Do you get off on that sort of thing Forumfetus?
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Some of them looked vaguely "Eastern Bloc" to me. What exactly are you promoting here my friend?
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Harry starts out the review mentioning all of the negative buzz Jar Jar Binks was receiving. He then begins his review of the Jar Jar character by saying "Mi Sa like" or something like that in Jar Jar speak. I could only imagine the beatings that geek must have received in middle school. If you search enough you should be able to find it.
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Of all you AICN guys, Mori sounds the most trustworthy on this one.
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When someone points out how awful he is, he jumps to another TB...
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It was a story of how loved ones stay with you and influence your life after death. The alien invasion was a facade to the real story.
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Fuck these AICN reviews, I'm here for the TalkBack!!!
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http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=3624
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It WAS AN ALIEN INVASION, get over it. Gosh, it was a good thing the little girl left water glasses half full, gosh, it was a good thing his wife told him to BASH THE ALIEN'S BRAINS OUT !!! Talk about yer brutality !!!!!
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Mesa Luved Him!
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...how Mamet described the bad beer during Prohibition in THE UNTOUCHABLES: "It isn't supposed to be good, it's supposed to be bought." Night has undeservedly earned a reputation as some sort of master - not amongst film fans and people in the know, but the general public. And let's face it, the general public has pretty horrendous taste. Look at the retard they put in the White House. Twice.
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Go Deep Cover, "the general public has pretty horrendous taste". And Shamysuxdix is the flavor of the month !!!
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You know, one where people are using their indoors voices?
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What was the scene in the car?? It's been awhile since I saw it on cable (while I was surfing the channels).
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Did THE VILLAGE destroy Adrian Brody's career? Talk about the Oscar curse.
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um, how about any of the Lassie movies where Lassie turns out to be alive?
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...he cornholes Harry and Mori. Butt-pirates, the both of them. Arrrr.
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Tell me more about your 'girlfriend'...
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"more about yer girlfriend", are you REALLY close friends and take showers together? Hmmmmmm ???
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I was just asking about yer 'girlfriend' whose page doesn't come up. Do you braid each others hair? Hmmmmmmm ???
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http://tinyurl.com/aujmd I know what you are thinking "Lucky Bastard"
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You can ask any of the guys, I specialize in pissing people off. I can't help it, I'm emotionally damaged. (Do you help yer girlfriend get dressed? Hmmmmmm?)
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You are correct, sir.
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Are you disrespecting me? Seriously, it's in your best interests not to piss me off.
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What did you say?? Oh be still, my sick sick heart !!!!!!
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First off I haven't seen the movie. But with everyone tinker belling around, it sounds like this movie is the nail in the coffin for Mr. Mnight demise. I won't go into pointless detail of when I stop liking Mnight and when or why I thought his movies were brilliant. I will talk about facts. The fact is Mnight decided to make a movie about a bedtime story that him and his children would routinely tell to one another and expand before "bedtime". I can't think for the man, but it seems that he wanted everyone else in the world to experience this wonderful storytelling interaction that him and his children so loved together. Call it arrogance or a lovely suggestion from his children to spread the word about Story, but the idea/concept apparently did not go over well. Please people review the movie!!!! I've been coming to this site for sometime now to seek knowledge about a movie before I spending my hard earned bucks. Recently you guys have begun stroking us with nonsense, no guts, no substance reviews that basically say, "This movie isn't for everyone." No shit!! I knew that before the movie was thought about being made, maybe you could tell us who the movie was made for and stop (maybe this isn't true, but it seems like it) sucking up to the studio!! If it sucks it sucks, if it's good it's good. Maybe Harry should put all of you, including himself, on a simple points system of "yah or nay". It's sad I had to write this. Next step is to just go somewhere else.
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I'd almost rather hear bigboxer's innane ramblings. I can't believe I just said that... What a world.
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And get it over with. I remember him ragging on his own performance in his Sixth Sense cameo, but then that appeared to be false modesty as he kept inserting himself into every movie and then the parts kept getting bigger. He likes what he's getting from himself as an actor and wants to continue to explore his talent in that area. Fine. So I wish he'd jump into the water and start swimming, shit or get off the pot if you will, and indulge his vanity full throttle. It's a little shallow of him, sure, but Orson Welles threw himself into it with Citzen Kane, and so did Mel Gibson with Braveheart...okay, so did Mel Brooks with To Be Or Not To Be. The problem with shitting or getting off the pot is you know something is gonna stink.
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why nobody can come out and just say its just good old fashioned shit? Was this a combo deal with Superman: The Remake?
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thank you Rakafraker, I knew it, I just knew you people REALLY love me.
Mouh, mouh, mouh. (Blowing kisses.) -
bigboxer is less offensive than Forum. However, he's more annoying and at least Forum melts down so bad he starts posting pics of his 'girl' So it kinda evens out ;-)
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That HURT !!! Way to insult my intiijunce !! Compare me to some daydreamin' teenboy, YUCK !!! And I thought we agreed Shammylingo sucked wind???
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and I will admit that you aren't as bad as Forum (just). Deal?
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I'm doing this from a public library so I can stay out of the heat. They let me park my stanky fat ass here so long as I don't leer at the girlies too much. (Alltogether now, "Sitting on a park bench/snot running down hie nose/greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes, etc."
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Sorry, them's the rules. OK I'm out of here. The surf is calling me. Later, keep up the meds :-P
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..."wannabe Kaufmann-esque performance artist" on Forumfatale. Nobody's really that big of a twit. Are they?
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... can I get a big "Ooooo!"
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I got one of the guys doing community service here at the liberry to help me out. Here's *my* girlfriend, Mabel.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/
v647/netguy57/mabel.jpg -
Love that gal !!!!
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Ship him back to india to make shitty bollywood movies. We dont need another michael bay in hollywood (pretentious self absorbed one-hit wonder talentless tit)!
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:'( You guys are no fun.
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Here's a pic of my girlfriend: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/backpacker_gds/cow046.jpg
I know, I know...I'm a lucky guy... -
@ Overgod,
I'm not going to assume you have any common sense or faculties of intelligence, but why be Rascist concerning Mr M Night Shyamalan? Are you so proud of wearing your idiocy on your sleeve that you have to lower yourself to the level of someone who judges others on the color of their skin or their ethnicity? I don't know where you come from, but Night is an American who is probably positvely contributing more to American culture and the economy than you are sitting in your underwear in your coffin room, cussing in chatrooms and asking your poor old mum to make you dinner again.
I suggest you move past your Neanderthal-man cultural attitude and get with the reality that WE ARE ALL IMMIGRANTS FROM SOMEWHERE, AND THE EARTH BELONGS TO EVERYONE.....not just middle-class white people. If you are so concerned about kicking out talentless waste-of-spaces outside 'your' country, I suggest you start by evicting your sorry-ass out first.
...ahem...now that I have dealt with the rascist clown, I can get back to my original reason for posting here...
I really liked your review of the film capone, and I know that the Hollywood Glitterati and pissed-off fans, (that seem to expect Night to make the films according to their specifications) are ramming their anger to the ends of the earth, about how Night has created the biggest mis-fire in known history, but I just wanted to say that I apprecate you writing a review that sort of separates you from the job of 'movie critic' and simply allows you to experience the story like a cynic-less child that wants to be able to dream.
I have not seen the movie yet, and have been a dedicated fan of all Night's works so far (even the village, which although has huge problems in the third act, is born from a brilliant idea or visual metaphor, and it's still 20 times better than trash that directors in Hollywood release so often.
I have a gut feeling that the critics are ripping into this film, because they don't want to be innocent children, thinking from cosmic and beautifully simple points of view, they wish to be fighting ghettoised, tribal, warring factions that gossip about each other all the time.
I commend M Night for trusting his heart, in a time when so many of us either a) no longer do so or b) have forgotten how to truly trust our hearts in the first place.
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I just hate no talent, one trick pony, overpaid, ego-monster HACKS !! Of any race !!!
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I thought I was a Sick-o. Posting pics of barnyard animals, wowsers !!
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Nice piece.
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Sick-o is right! No more barnyard animals, Yackbacker!
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Shamylingusmydingus, Shempyligading, Schlongysuxdix, Swamigivemeyerbux, Shamylinguslongus !!!
TOP THAT !!!!
PS I can't wait to see how many posts get erased from this TB !!! -
...who coined the term "Wowsers?"
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Stay out of your films you douche. God i hate that man. May lightening smite his terrible soul. This film sounds shite
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Jul 21, 2006 1:01:41 AM CDT
I'm calling you out on the car scene, forumfatale.com
by powereduppacman
And it's the "P51, cadillac of the sky!" scene from Empire of the Sun with a young Christian Bale going absolutely ga-ga on top of that tower: "I can't remember what my mother looks like.". Now fuck off. Oh, and I laughed my ass off when I read the word 'douchenozzle'.
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If you're struggling this much over coming up with an opinion it's obvious that the film sucks. All mainstream reviews have stated that it sucks, why is AICN so afraid to do so?
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I feel that I know you all better; but want to meet you less...
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/20/AR2006072001922.html
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That's a funny statement considering that other than Harry, most of the AICN reviews have been TERRIBLE. You really see completely ripping a movie to shreds as kissing the director's ass? It amazes me how MNS brings out the most irrational, venomous sides of talkbackers. Chill the fuck out already, it's only a movie. You're seriously ripping on reviewers for not loving/hating a movie enough? Quit drinking the MNS koolaid already.
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good question. The answer lies in the fact since the in ception of this site, harry was outside the studio system and if there are filmmakers you dont like and youre not in the system in can pretty much say anything you like. The problem with this is that on this site that means anything. Ya see, when setting up this website from day it was obvious, that harry decided not to follow the net pack. for example, most net sites have moderators. this one doesnt. So when you sign up to say empires messages board, you are under no illusion, that if you say or post anything, you will be removed. immediately. You can say anything you like on this with one exception and that is harry himself. say anything personall about harry and you get banned or anything political. example i posted a piece on this about the Family law act i was told to remove the piece from some congress woman or get banned. So you can say anthing, racist or homophobic on this site and you will not be banned. There was a sign on this site that came with a warning to talkbackers about being a jerkwad and that being a jerkwad could get you banned. I think that was taken down.
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We don't want to piss you off. "Seriously"... "No really, dude, I'll kill your girlfriend. Here's a picture of me killing your girlfriend"... Way to get people to go to your site. ASSHOLE.
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Are supposed to be from you, forumfatle. It's called mocking. Don't kill me, dude. Or my girlfriend. Here's a picture of her: http://www2.onunterhaltung.t-online.de/c/22/21/71/2221710,tid=d.jpg
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where's Homewrecker when you need a multi username consipiracy brought to light?!?
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will be a remake of Moonraker, starring himself.
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"What are you going to do tonight, Shaylamalalala?"
"The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world!"
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Considering the fact that you have misspelt "racist" several times proves that you too are an illiterate curry eating idiot who defends your fellow curry muncher.
Shyamalan is a stinking curry eating pig, and should be shipped back to the shitty mud hole whence he came. 1 Michael Bay is enough.
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Overgod, you truly are a fucking brain-dead monkey, aren't you?
I don't have time for idiotic rascist muppets like you that attack others out of their own insecurities are inferiority complexes.
Go and read a book you sad, arrogant waste of space....
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Wow, someone came late to the BBQ. The should rename Unbreakable to Unwatchable. He comes up with good premises but has a heck of a time finishing them.
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When I see him on the big screen I just want to rip my eyeballs out!! I cringe in embarrassment, who the fuck does he think he is? One big hit does not give you the right to be Woody Allen!
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