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Kevin Smith Vs CripBoy.... The Greatest Moment In Q&A History!!!
Hey folks, Harry here... Nothing I can say or write could possibly convey the awesome fucking exchange between Kevin Smith and CripBoy. You see... Last night here in Austin, Kevin Smith was in town to do what Kevin Smith does in Austin. Premiere a film of his and then geek with the audience for a few hours afterwards. Now - I've already reviewed CLERKS 2 - having seen it about 3-4 weeks ago, but I should add that seeing it with a sold out crowd of frothing at the mouth Askewers is about movie theater heaven - except... you'll miss about 45% of the dialogue due to riotus laughter.
Anyways... I'm not here to talk CLERKS 2 - but to talk about an epic battle between Kevin Smith and CripBoy. The Q&A started pretty much as expected - an abnormally towering geek standing up to extract from Kevin, his opinion upon SUPERMAN RETURNS. In a nutshell - Kevin preferred X-MEN 3. And - as punishment for that insanity - delivered upon Kevin Smith was... CripBoy.
First off... His handicap seems to be something akin to Muscular Dystrophy, thus making it difficult... well to do much of anything. However, "CripBoy" as Kevin annointed him would not be stopped!
Kevin finishes up talking about geeking out in a tux at the Cannes premiere of X3, and then notices this nice man in the electric wheelchair at stage left trying to get Kevin's attention so he could ask a question. He looks at him to acknowledge that he wanted to hear his question.... and so he did...
"What the fuck was all that CRIP BOY bullshit at the beginning?"
It was... Kevin had this look on his face - as the tears raced down his cheeks... He grabbed his face and nearly fell to his knees laughing. In fact - he turned away from his questioneer - to try and compose himself. This was one of those zingers that he just, for the life of him, didn't see coming. In fact - Kevin stated that "I didn't see that coming. It's not like I walked over thinking, "Oh Fuck, Crip Boy!"
Well - "Crip Boy" wasn't through - he had a real question for Kevin - but it had about 8 minutes of story leading up to it. You see - "Crip Boy" when he was younger - loved Kevin's second film, MALLRATS. He recounted the nightmare that was the release and the years upon years it took to finally be accepted - much to Kevin's chagrin... and he said that he remembered that when he first saw MALLRATS all those years ago... he had one question and one question only that he'd ask Kevin Smith - if ever they were to speak.
At this point - Kevin laid down on his belly right in front of "Crip Boy" placing the microphone between the two as this photograph from Gary Miller shows...
Kevin states, "Now you've really built up this question, this had better be one fucking genius of a question."
"Crip Boy" continues - letting Kevin know that it's probably not a genius question, but he has to ask it... that he must know the answer.
"Kevin, you're the writer & director of MALLRATS - You have Claire Forlani in your film, and you couldn't be bothered to write one scene where she takes her shirt off?"
Again - Kevin is paralyzed with laughter. Literally rolling on the stage to get back to his feet. The whole time - trying desperately to compose himself. "He's got a point. He's right."
The exchange continued - Kevin said he wanted to hire Crip Boy to take on tour with him. Said that he's right on the same level of brilliant existence as Mewes. "Crip Boy" seizing the opportunity made a play to be in CLERKS 3, which Kevin quickly subtitled, "REVENGE OF CRIP BOY" - and "Crip Boy" responds, "We're BACK & We're PISSED!"
I'm sure I missed big chunks of the conversation - due to the laughter of the theater and my own trying to compose myself. It was - genius. It is just something - I had to share...
Readers Talkback
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should be on the wall of every abortion clinic in America with a caption that reads "Don't worry. You are doing the right thing."
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Fuck ya
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Shit no
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It must be when they try so hard to capture a moment where you obviously had to be there. BTW Angelina Jolie will be in Sin City 2. I figured some news had to be shared.
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But Smith is damn funny. His panel at ComiCon a few years back was classic.
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Where did you see that Dogsoup? Me likey.
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I don't get it
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In an interview with Devon Akoi for Rogue she mentioned they halted the production of SC2 because they wanted Angelina to have time with her baby. I found the interview over at Rotton Tomatoes. On a personal note, Devon Akoi is hot enough to sex for 4 months straight with only bathroom,food, and sleeping breaks.
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..are so named because anyone who wasn't there, won't get it. Like me. Right now.
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I don't understand the connection and what connection it has with X3 vs. SUPERMAN. Is the term "CripBoy" as used by the questioner referring to character in X3 and then Smith nicknamed this questioner "Crip Boy" subsequent to the use of the word in his question. Please help.
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Kev's Q&A's are always funny... and this is something Iwould have loved to have watched!
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Superman Returns was better than X3
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For recognizing X-3 was a much more entertaining film than the overrated crap that was Superman Returns.
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Yes, I have to agree that the Crip Boy interplay was worth the price of admission. Kevin Smith was "on" as always and it was a really great night...1 1/2 hrs. of movie (Clerks II was ten times funnier than I even thought it would be) and 2 1/2 hrs. of Kevin Smith Q & A. Just a great night for my wife and I AND we got to meet Harry (a cool guy, by the way, who generously talked to us and was nice enough not to be bothered by his fans wanting to just shake his hand). It was nice to meet you, Harry!
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Oh, yeah, dead. I'll take Garrison Keillor, then. Or shit, even Charlie Murphy. Work on them storytellin' skills, brotha. This thing made no sense. No more posting high.
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I read this twice and still don't get it. Harry, your composition skills are horrible. Are we to assume that the "Drafthouse Spot" played before the screening or something?
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Actually, the best comparison would be X3 is like the Mona Lisa, only slashed up with switchblades, spraypainted on with neon pink paint, thrown in the gutter and left there for three weeks while passing dogs piss on it.
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of the audience would Harry have posted it?
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How is "What was that Crip Boy bullshit?" a zinger at Kevin Smith? Did Kevin Smith know him before this evening? Jeez, Harry. With as many movies as you've seen, seems like you'd be able to tell a coherent story.
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I hate it so much... that I hate people who liked it.
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is fucking awesome! I met him at the signing in LA and he was one of the nicest guys I have ever met. I hope Clerks 2 kicks ass at the box office! IF you read this Kevin, thanks for the advice for future filmmakers!
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I love Kevin Smith, I love his movies from Clerks through to JASBSB.(but avoided Jersey Girl cos Aflecks a dick) and wish I'd been in Austin to see the preview of Clerks two with a room full of 'Askewers'. But, my boss in Liverpool England wouldn't give me the day off!. Now, maybe it was a slow day at AICN or maybe Harry thought he'd share this moment of comic history with us all.But sadly it all got lost in the translation. Ok, 'cripboy' said something but was it funny cos he said it or cos of his condition? Maybe it's like when Timmy shouts 'TIIIIMMY' in South Park, your not laughing cos it's 'funny' but cos he's a spas in a wheel chair shouting it - which is funny I suppose. But was it really news worthy? I'd rather read what the crowd in general thought of the moive, and what others asked Lord Smith of RedBank. Gabba Gabba Hey!
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Funny how some folks just love it when the mentally-disabled volunteer themselves to be ridiculed. That way your just laughing "with them" not "at them", right? The subtext of that whole thing was basically "aww, look at the 'tard trying to act like he's normal".
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1) i'm guessing there's some character or jokes made about someone named "cripboy" at the beginning of clerks II? that's the only explanation of the "zinger" that makes sense to me. 2) you can see claire forlani's boobies in 'gypsy eyes'
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not B.O. wise of cours but it was the better film. People say Superman was a remake but it had more original thoughts than the X movies "Lets's turn all the humans into mutants." "Let's turn all the mutants into humans." "Let's kill all the mutatns." "Let's kill all the humans." Let's have a million mutant march down San Fransisco just in case the gay allegory hasn't been completly rammed down everyone's throat. Superman was better.
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I read it. I skimmed through it afterwards. I tried to find a trace of anything amusing. I did not. Maybe I was subconsciously expecting "Kevin Smith versus The Crips" - that could be funny.
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... some of us knew what you were talking about, and that WAS goddamned funny. Jesus, even when you write something peripheral to the View Askewniverse, these jackals will take the bait and start ripping into Kevin... and anyone who shows him even the slightest snippet of praise or admiration. Christ, what a bunch of fucktards... Cripboys, unite!!!
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Just read it for a third time. Still didn't see it. And MyWord is spot on.
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good for you Harry. Post something that no one will get except for people who were actally there will. You smug cunt.
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Superman Returns isnt better than Xmen 3. it is dumber than Xmen3. where was the conflict/battles between spacey/routh? there was no CONFLICT in it, which X3 gave you tons of. even Kevin Smith, who deserves to helm a marvel/dc flick knows that.
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He's always worth the price of admission to Comic-con. I would seriously pay the $45 just to see him do his thing. The Comic-books are just icing on the cake. Can't wait till next week!!
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Saw superman last week and can't really remember what happened in it. Saw X3 when it came out months ago and have lots of images still in my head. What does that say?
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I thought League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was fun dumb popcorn entertainment until I read the source material. I never really wanted to see Superman Returns so I don't know which is better on that point.
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Harry must have left off a sentence or two that explained what the term "CripBoy" means before it is applied to the unfortunate young man in the wheelchair.
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There's a joke about a CripBoy in CLERKS II. See the movie, it will make sense.
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I must have been on mushrooms then when I imagined Lex beating the shit out of Superman and shiving him with a Kryptonite blade and breaking it off. That alsone was more confict than the Donner films.
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and I liked SR and am a Superman fan (not rabid fanbooy). Superman Returns was no doubt the more polished, well directed of the two but X3 was the more entertaining of the two. It accomplished what a summer movie should. Flame away, flamers.
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Sorry but he best handicapped humor in history is when TheOnion bolted Christopher Reeve, Wheelchair and all to the top of the Washington Monument. Reeves was quoted as saying "I'm cold and I miss my family."
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This was a more realistic Lex Luthor. A no nonsense Lex, You can't tell me that pounding Superman took was more emotional than all those no name muties dying . You gonna sit there and tell me Lex stabbing Superman wasn't more emotional than seeing cyclops disappear and Proffesor X give that stupid look before he got burnt up into ash? what was the conflict in x3? it was two films stuffed into one which in the end you didn't care about anything. The way they treated their characters with no respect.
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I love Mallrats! I mean I love Mallrats, but when your career is all downhill from there...then it's time to burn the SAG card. Besides no filmmaker ever lets Claire Forlani talk in her english accent! I hate that. That Stephen King shit sucked! My nuts are in Crouch End! Bitch has more bags under her eyes than Vince Vaughn after a night at The Standard.
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And yes there was a hell of a lot more emotion in the Xavier getting turned to ash scene then there was in Superman getting stabbed. Oh wow, Superman gets hit with kryptonite, never seen that before.
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I'll have to see what Umagaa Ombongo thinks of this Clerks sequel...
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for this giant waste of time. The only thing that this article is good for is nothing. Thanks for the very non amusing asrticle that you claim is HILARIOUS!
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Superman approaches villains in a different manner that batman or spider-man (not better or worse - just different). the confrontation with Lex was NOT the point of this superman film - it was a means to an end for singer, dougherty, and harris. the film was an examination of mortality and expectations - which fall upon everyone. these are issues which i've thought about for days since seeing the film (and i've seen it three times). sorry, but for me i cannot say the same thing about X3. don't get me wrong, i still undertand those that complained that there should have been SOME face-to-face resolution - but that ultimately was not the movie that singer wanted to direct.
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hahahahahahahahahahaha. ha.
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Know what wasn't interesting? - THAT LAME PLAY-BY-PLAY OF SOMETHING THAT'S ONLY FUNNY IF YOU'RE THERE. That reminds me of the time I told this joke to my roommate, Bob, right? He was DYING. I mean I don't remember the joke now but his laughter was infectious. Just hystericAL. yOU WOULD HAVE LOVED IT. rEALLY.
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and valiens you're right in regards to the had to be there factor
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July 14, 2006, 12:23 p.m. CST
They should put it on sequel to-An Evening Kevin Smith!
by Orionsangels
You posted a pic of a cripled guy on AICN? knowing what assholes most talkbackers?
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....
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I haven't seen X3 yet, but as for Superman Returns, I am confused as to all the people that defend this movie. Yes, it has beautiful imagery and the special effects were top-notch for the most part, but the one thing that it lacks in every respect is a sense of FUN. It's Superman! The basis of all modern super-heroes. This hero above all others should appeal first and foremost to children, not the adults who have hijacked the comic books and their heroes. Sure, we can still enjoy them, but they shouldn't be written FOR us. Superman Returns was an adult film with adult issues that was dreary and depressing as hell. Other than, saving the plane (and the tv clip montage), he didn't do anything heroically exciting. Lifting a boat and the kryptonite island are about as dull watching someone open a door. We know he can do it, but it isn't fun to watch. Jack Sparrow's final action in Pirates 2 is more heroic than anything Superman did. Routh was great, but he was directed and written as an alien without warmth or joy. Watch Chris Reeves in the original and see the amount of joy he puts into the simple act of flight. He enjoys the ability to fly. He enjoys rescuing people. You can see it. In this film, there is zero enjoyment by the character and therefore none for us. If you enjoy watching a recreation of
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Where's the rest of this article? There's still more coming, right?
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I went to the store. And my pal Jaz came up and said "Hey!" And I started laughing so hard, because he *never* says "Hey!" OMG my drink came out my nose!!! Guess you had to be there...
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X3 was the single biggest wool-pull I have ever witness in film. All you DNAless monkeys that love it, must have mad-ons for Bay movies where you are presented with candy floss and gobble it up like the fat kids you are deep down inside. X3 amounted to nothing but masturbatory wastes of money and characters pissed away. We wait 2 years to finally see Colossus, after his awesome X2 cameo, only to see him throw Wolvie twice (
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this is not conflict. this is routh getting beatdown. a conflict implies balance;reciprocity. WHEN DOES ROUTH FIGHT LEX AND HIS GOONS BACK DIRECTLY? WHNE DOES ROUTH THROW A PUNCH? AT ANYTHING/ANYONE? when does he show any anger at all? ([noun] an open clash between two opposing groups (or individuals); "the harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph" Synonyms: struggle, battle)in X3 everyone is pissed and kicking ass. no wonder your name is "IDUNNO". because you dont know. go watch chris reeve again and learn how a superhero is supposed to act.
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QUOTE "go watch chris reeve again and learn how a superhero is supposed to act." END QUOTE How bout YOU go watch Superman 1 where Reeve NEVER FUCKING PUNCHES ANYONE you silly fucktard, the conflict was precisely the same as in SR. The only time he does is IN SUPERMAN 2 when there are beings who can take his punches without their heads coming right off. Add yourself to the spent condoms I referenced above, your Darwin Award should be on it's way presented by Ratner and Bay. Enjoy Dickmouth.
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I might be mistaken, but I can't recall ever quoting anything from South Park, although I do love the show. Oh, and "pussy" isn't really a word which you can bandy about with any kind of credibility as you have a tendency to flee any and all talkbacks in which you are either getting owned big time or when you're called upon to provide sources for your frequent, outrageous and demented claims.
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It was especially cool when he raped Ms. Tesmacker and scissor kicked Otis.
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Kevin Smith once again shows that he might be a geek, but he doesnt know jack shit about film
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The story isn't funny to anyone who wasn't there. I've read this twice and I still don't get it. Who is the midget that looks like a midget Kevin Smith? Anyway, I think it's one of those stories that Harry writes in order to say, "Hey look, I hung out with a famous person". I also love the comment that Harry saw this "three or four weeks ago". Yes, we know, we get it. You see movies for free before the rest of us. I used to work in a movie theater and I saw movies for free too. I also got free popcorn. Now I have a real job.
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I can attest to the fact that Nightarrows and DocPazuzu are two different people. Otherwise, they would never have been able to stuff your mom from both ends last night. While Factropolis took photos.
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the point is that reeve showed anger and self respect, when it was time to, whereas routh just only has one expression the whole movie, this look of "oh its hard for me to live my life this way, keeping secrets". this is gay, DocNightArrowsPazuzu, and you are a true sissy for even comparing/preferring Routh to Reeve. apparently it's okiedokey for you iced coffee sipping sissies, that spacey can punch routh across the room but routh never does. i suppose in a sequel you will accept more of this. you are ghey for accepting this, or at least coining the word "dickmouth". i cant believe you would agree with this studio giving its most prized of franchises, with this legacy and this godly music, to a bunch of depressed club kids, when Donner was available the whole time. actually now i could believe that. if SR is so superior to X3 it wouldve opened bigger than the shitty Fantastic Four. that's embarassing and so are you.
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1) I've gone on record here defending X3 on numerous occasions as well as voicing my growing disinterest in Superman Returns from about the first real trailer forward -- to the point that I haven't even seen it yet and won't until the DVD comes out. You really must get another issue to harp on. 2) Weren't you going to update your blog today?
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Priceless! I would also like to state that that's the reason zfisk never learned to use punctuation or the caps lock key, he was too busy trying to slap fight the men using his mother as a trampoline. She's seen more rubber than the Autobahn!
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They're two completely different cripples. The Clinton guy is blonde, and in college. This guy is much older.
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Kevin Smith has conversation with wheelchair-bound fan. Smith finds it humorous. GREAT fucking news.
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What's next Jersey Girl 2- Electric Boogaloo?
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Superman was the better movie. Also whay was this posted, Kevin Smith is not headline worthy
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July 14, 2006, 2:01 p.m. CST
I wish Kevin Smith would have fallen off that stage...
by MaryTylerMorbid
... broken his neck and died a miserable death.
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He should definitely be here to make some horribly offensive joke.
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superhero movies. I used to think that crap like X3 and Daredevil was the result of Hollywood cashing in. They weren't listening to the real fans. I thought that when they did listen to the fan then we got the really good superhero flicks: X2, Spider-Man 2, and Batman Begins. Now I realize these movies were just the result of damn good directors who finally were given the ability to do what they wanted. They were flukes. There are two kinds of geeks: those who "get" the characters and those who like X3. Sorry if I'm not excited about a movie that neuters Wolverine, can't find a single decent story to tell, and tries to make some massive changes to the franchise only to pussy out at the last moment. I don't blame Hollywood for shitty superhero movie, but rather the X3 geeks who think superheroes are just an excuse to sit blankly in front of a shitty movie for two hours. X3 has become a geek litmus test: it makes it easy to tell whether you want new and inventive storytelling or hackneyed superhero films that manage to make even the action boring as hell. I don't blame Hollywood anymore, I blame the X3 geeks.
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and how does mentioning such things help you win an argument, or even convince people that you are a man? really, try to advance your debate skills past the 3rd grade, Doc
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That's tender and sensitive. He should be called Superperson, not to offend anybody. Man of Gladiolas. Fresh from the Ice Follies. Little tippy-toe man. He should offer Lex a cappacino, sit down and talk things out. Krypto should be called "Latte." Superperson should wear Birkinstocks instead of boots. Group hug! Yay! Fuck......
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He's wiser than the rest of us. He isn't given to bursts of emotion except where it concerns Lois. Christopher Reeve's "NO! THE PEOPLE!" overacting made William Shatner look like David Ducovney at times. I'm sure if you want Supes fistfighting a silly alien or robot you;ll get that in the next film.
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July 14, 2006, 2:23 p.m. CST
You don't have to like X3 to know Superman Returns suck
by Engineer_at_peac
But is helps.
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If there are any recordings of this then Kevin should stick it on the Clerks 2 DVD.
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Methinks this is close enough
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That's another one of your trademarks. As soon as more than one person schools you hard, your arguments degenerate into demented accusations of everybody being the same person (Mori) instead of actually answering accusations or debating. The comments the others made about your mom were funny as fuck, and a hell of a lot more mature than your mad rantings about Jews, gays and plots to overthrow America and Superman. You're just a little bitch.
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About an hour.
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See it, before it sees you at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao8QEOr0Pgk
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everyone mentions SR here, but your anger is not for them, is it.. why is that.. what's useless is smearing people with your alarmist buzzwords (that are never mentioned until you post them) when you can't counter my points.. that, is cowardice. the bigot is in your mirror, not me. and there's not enough of goons in DocPazuzu's unwashed tribe here to help push SR's lame sloth ass past $200M DOMESTIC= no sequel.
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having the time of her life will be posted here as soon as I get them back from the photo lab at Walgreen's. www.factropolis.com
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No doubt. No doubt.
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that guys was on last comic standing and the mind of mencia
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This is crap. Smith is a joke. He lied to everyone about never doing another Jersey flick so that he could 'work on his craft' and now you all get the fruit of his lies in the form of "Clerks 2". Eat it up bitches.
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This was a troubled superman. This superman didnt have time to think about how much he enjoyed flying ! he was too busy with his problems! hence the emotion when he was flying and he had that pissed off look in his face!!! Sense of fun? When did superman have fun? If your referring to the 1978 superman, that worked in the 80's bub, that shit aint gonna fly here. now about the action, so you didnt like the fact that superman could lift up a boat only because you knew he Could? excuse my french but how fucken stupid is that? Superman is a hero that can do anything , how do you revolve action around that? In your logic, you could see him fight a supervillain and he could get shot accross states and have a building fall on him and you'll still fucken complain cuz you know he'll survive, you know he can handle a rocket blast no problem. gimme a fucken break, you guys treat superman returns like it was fantastic four.
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That brief snippet about The Onion had me lol at work...100x funnier than Harry's bland tale. Thanks.
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slogan: "if it's on factropolis.com, it's not a fact."
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"If it's on zfisk's mom, it must be Nightarrows and DocPazuzu."
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You just don't get it, do you zfisk/homewrecker? I can't speak for the others but why the fuck would I defend Superman Returns? I have next to zero interest in seeing it, and the only times I've gotten into arguments in Superman talkbacks is when it's come to ranting homophobes or, in your case, homophobic anti-semites. It has NEVER had anything to do with the movie because when arguing with psychopaths like you it's IRRELEVANT if the movie is good or not. "can't counter your points"..... Are you fucking serious? I counter what passes for your "points" incessantly. It's YOU who bitches out whenever the heat gets turned up on you too much, like with your infamous posting of a fake article which you tried to pass off as the real thing. You're not only a psycho and a bigot and a sleazebag, you're also a thorough coward and a liar to boot.
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My point is that there was NO action other than the plane rescue. Lifting a boat or an island is a feat of strength, not an action sequence. If I were watching Superman olympics, maybe that would impress me, but I'm watching a super-hero movie in which the hero doesn't do anything super. Because in these films, nothing can harm him but kryptonite, that's all they can show. There is no sense of danger because he's basically invincible. Yet, amazingly enough, in the comic books, there are decades and decades of material to draw upon that put him in peril or at the very least, the sense of peril. As for the Fantastic Four (they are my second favorite comic heroes to Supes), that film sucked, but I did enjoy it more than SR. It at least captured a tiny fraction of the true concept. I haven't seen any kids that are swept away with wonder over this brooding Superman. This flick is for all the adults who won't let go of their childhood legends. Both comics and films seem to want to drag these heroes into the "real world" with "real problems", snatching them from the waiting hands of the next generation. We had our time, let the kids of today experience the same FUN adventures we experienced. Which is why I think Pirates is so successful.
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Just to unload the talkback. Get that muhfuggin' Kevin Smith out of tha muhfuggin' room.
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Can't I hate both movies. SR for being so whiney that AFI, and Dashboard should have done the soundtrack, and X3 for...well everything, but I think mostly Halle Berry. She sucks, and not in the good "happy ending" way.
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which is why I too liked X3 better. Superman R was obviously a better crafted film, but it was dull and lacked any sense of adventure, action or fun. X3 for me.
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Stay off the toad now.
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Kevin Smith can tell a story - I don't really like Kevin Smith movies, but that tubby lump can sure as hell tell a story, and the great Bam!Kapow! has an insanely long clip of Kevin recounting his experience working on a script called 'Superman Lives' in 1997, when Warner Brothers was taking the first steps towards reviving the franchise, the end result being this summers 'Superman Returns'. His script for Superman is pretty famous. Famous in the bad way. It's awful. Anne Frank was more fun to read, and Kevin can blame the producer if he likes, but that won't explain dialogue like: "It was the bestest p'sghetti I had in my whole life!" Yikes.
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I was busy having sex with a female.
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I want you to go back to your blog and write a 3/5 essay on how you got trounced in this TalkBack. You'll need a thesis and a concluding paragraph that demonstrates to all your "readers" why being such a anti-semetic/homophobic/coward leads to getting oneself owned. Remember, it's for posterity so be honest.
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...from some Polar Bears at the fortress of solitude. Lex just walks in, unchallenged. Kryptonian security sucks.
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Superman = boring. X-3 = not. Simple math, really.
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Cripboy's Chest? The Final Cripboy? Cripboy Begins? A Touch of Cripboy? The Cripboy Menace? 1,000,000 Cripboys BC?
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Superman Returns lacked any kind of JOY or FUN. I kinda liked it, but I couldn't figure out why I was left wanting more. Frankly, without the Williams score to kick it in the ass her and there ( and not as often as I liked), there would hardly have been any rush to it at all. I hate to say that. Harry and Capone damn near jizzed all over themselves about this film...I guess I should know better by now.
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...apparently crips like tits too. ha.
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but the second one. god damn!
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I was wondering why he was so irritable in this particular TB. Tr
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Motel6 in Lebanon. huh huh. That's about as funny as the article that spawned this talkback.
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Since that other one of Harry came down, maybe he is preparing us for it. That's so wrong to call him CripBoy.
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"I pitty the fool, Lex Luthor! He stole my bling! Unnnngggghhhh!"
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Seriously, so many of his reviews are unintelligible due to his terrible syntax and overuse of dashes. Learn how to write a proper sentence!
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I suggest an animated cripleked guy in the upper left corner of the page because cripples are funny! Fucking douchbags.
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July 14, 2006, 8:44 p.m. CST
If cripboy wasn't "crippled" noone would care or laugh.
by bava's ghost
That question is run of the mill Q&A geek stuff. Why people pander to people who are handicapped is lost on me. What it's funny because a guy in a wheelchair is thinking of tits? If someone annoying gabbed for eight minutes at a Q&A about B.S. I'd be pissed. Actually I'd be pissed if I attended a Kevin Smith Q&A, that guy is a total blowhard. It's OK to treat people like cripboy like a normal person.
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And he knows it.
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Yeah, this seems like a "You had to be there" moment...I sure don't get it and the photo doesn't help.
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you make solid points.
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...really such a minority on AICN? lol! I rue the day I enjoyed your Return Superman!!!
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Fuck the Kids of Today! I want to have fun too! I'm 24 can I say that? I hope so....
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And yet I can understand why Harry would post this. Why? Because it's his fucking site and he can do what ever he fucking wants to. If you don't like it, then start your own site and post what you think 'worthy' of all of us 'oh-so-important' talkbackers. Have none of you seen the trailer in which they specifically mention a 'crip-boy'? It's right in the trailer! So, the guy in the audience is obviously referencing that. And the reaction that came from Kevin Smith is one of surprise and admiration for catching him off guard about something so obvious. YOu didn't "Have to be there." YOu just have to use your fucking head for once. And you know what? Kevin Smith can like X-men 3 better than SR because he's a goddamn human being capable of making up his own mind, and making his own decisions without having to check with you fucking assholes first. X-men 3 was a bad movie because they killed off characters needlessly, they squandered the use of Dark Phoenix and they fucked up the way Juggernaut should look and act. One girl walked out of the theatre and said "if any body asks me what x-men 3 was about, I'll tell them "They killed everybody off and then brought everybody back to life." " which I thought was hilariou. (but I guess you had to be there.... Superman Returns is a bad movie, for a lot more reasons than x-men 3, which is why some people can say x-3 is a better movie. Superman should never have been written as a dead beat dad. Lois looks like she is only 23 and yet she has a five year old kid... which means Clark must've fucked her BEFORE she was 18!! The logic behind Lex's big plan is ludicrous. Another 'real estate' scheme. This one makes no sense at all, as he is intent on killing off the wealthiest, most influential population. And what pisses me off the most about SR, is that they had the chance to restart the franchise and NOT kill off Pa Kent, and make Luthor the Billionaire industrialist with his fingers in a lot of questionable business deals. There should never have been a child, and he would never have left earth without saying good bye... not to mention that, if he left five years ago, and the kid is five years old, then he would have obviously known that she was fucking pregnant BEFORE he left..... ok I'm done.
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I can't decide who or what I hate more. X3 Kevin Smith Superman Returns All three are miserable failures.
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You know those jokes or funny anecdotes that people tell where you seem enthused at first, then you drift when you realise that this isn't as interesting or funny as you'd hoped, but you persist, and you nod and smile like a gentleman, and pretend to give half a laugh around about where the punch line should be, so the storyteller isn't put off by your inability to grasp the "genius" of the joke, but your eyes give away the emptiness you feel for the story and your complete lack of commitment to liking any further stories this person may have for you, you smile, drink the rest of your drink, make your excuses like 'think i need a top-up', 'gosh, gotta skoot, but gimme a call we'll hang out', or 'excuse me i have to go to the bathroom and slash my wrists' and move to something or someone more interesting? ....................... that
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What a yawn. $260 million. Where did the money go?
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Because I keep hearing rumors that he totally bashed it somewhere and I find that hard to believe but I haven't found anything anywhere that says anything about what he thought. Not that it really matters, I'm just interested since I think it would be kind of childish for him to bash it at all, since everybody knows he got canned on the project before.
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I love the freaking people here who are like, "Superman Returns sucked because it was too sensitive and had too much emotion, blah blah blah. X3 was awesome because it had 'action'" You people are exactly why the movie industry as a whole completely fucking sucks. Thank you for standing up and identifying yourselves.
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...aka The Binary Cult, cause that's what the fuck it is (MySpace). btw, is it just me, or does anyone else think Crip Boy is Kevin's doppleganger from the Cripple-Verse? Here's the article: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,202111,00.html
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out of all those minutes your ass was planted in the theatre, which movie gave you more bang for your buck? Think about it and answer honestly.
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You will understand SR much much better. Hellboy, all of your criticism, is bullshit. Since Superman is not about FUN. Even on the JLU, Supes was about something more. Bats isnt even about fun. There's more to the DC universe characters in their films than the 616 characters in their films. The 616 films come off looking banal, vapid, insepid, and pointless next to V, Begins, or Returns. Superman Returns had a conflict. It's conflict was...how does a guy whose supposed to save US. When he does not feel CONNECTED to US. That's a big fucking conflict. Which goes to the core of the Superman character. The answer; give him a son. Give him a human son, that gives him more purpose in his life. He has a son. He cannot fail his kid. Again, CONFLICT. Why dont you come up with better arguments before you post on the internet. That way, people like me, wont have to come along and blow your arguments apart. Try harder and save your yappin for your friends, that might enjoy listening to monotoned bitching about a superhero movie that you were too SURFACE to even understand. It's like no one even tries anymore.
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APPLES AND ORANGES! I love X3 and I love Superman Returns. They are very different films. To compare them is like comparing a curvy brunette and an athletic blonde. Each has their positives, but their attractiveness is very different from the other. Yes, I made a fucking FEMALE BODY analogy. It's early in the morning. This shit happens. So, Kev, liked X3 more. Have you heard the Donnie Darko commentary? Kev doesnt really...THINK...while watching films. So deep themes, he would probably admit, are totally lost on him.
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START FILMING SHIT LIKE THIS, AND THE NACHO LIBRE EVENT, AND WHATNOT!!! AICN NEEDS VIDEO!!!
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Dude, if you hated something that reached so many people emotionally, made people CHEER in their seats during scenes and at the opening credits, and had people leaving the theatre with smiles on their faces, then YOU have no "PASSION". If you wanna see slugfests, blood flying, bodies getting thrown all over the place, go see a Bloodrayne, or some other Violencefest that Hollywood keeps on cranking out for your masterbatory pleasure. Hating something that makes people feel good isn't a "PASSION"... it's just evidence of some sophmoric headbanging mentality. Go read some Faust comics and get a boner, OK?
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Seriously, I hate to be "that guy" but if you want to see Claire Forlani's breasts go to the beach (or this link)... http://www.douglass.co.uk/webpromote/celebs/oops_index.htm
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It wouldn't let me link to it directly but if you go to the "C's" and find her name, there is a set of pictures from the beach where she is topless. Sorry for posting twice.
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Lord_Enigma - I understood the conflict in SR perfectly. If that is the only conflict that they could come up with then that is simply poor writing. If you want melodramatic heavy-handed adult drama, I have nothing against that. I don't even have a problem with the basic story (as poorly written as it is) IF it involved another character. Superman is a fantasy for children (both young and old like me) and we don't need to see him having sex and dealing with the consequences of those actions. That's just not what his stories should involve. Save that for a more adult concept. Batman can be a brooding detective since he debuted in DETECTIVE COMICS. Superman debuted in... ACTION COMICS. He didn't debut in No Romance Comics or My Life Sucks Comics or Religious Reinterpretation Comics. As for substance... Iron giant, Incredibles, and the original Superman all have it in spades, without the films being dreary. Each one of those moved me emotionally in different ways more than SR did. I think Raider of the Lost Ark should be the template for a Superman movie. Lots of heroic action, a well told intelligent story, a charasmatic lead, and a great big rollicking adventure. That's really all you need. It can have an emotional core that can bring us to tears if it wants without sacrificing those elements. It's all in the writing. And as I said before, there are decades of material to draw upon without having a hodgepodge of the original film with a kid thrown in to make it seem deep.
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The writer went out of his way to try to make it sound like Kevin Smith was slamming SR, but nothing he referenced made it sound like that. If anything, it seemed more like Kevin was poking fun at himself, with Randall bemoaning that there aren't any polar bears or giant spiders in the movie. Foxnews seems obsessed with dissing Superman, I guess because they're owned by a rival studio. I thought X3 was ok in the same way that Rush Hour was ok, a lot of flash and silly dialogue that passes the time well enough. SR was a real movie that treated its material with respect, I'll never see X3 again, but I'll probably buy SR when it comes to DVD.
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People who think SR is boring are the type of people who can't stand anything having dialogue. X3 was horrible on so many levels, acting, direction... I mean the final battle sequence in itself makes no sense. Magneto has what twenty to thirty bad guys with him. Why not just takes or fly a boat over the entire bridge scene was POINTLESS. If he had hundreds of followers sure, but a couple dozen, that was stupid. Why was Jean just standing there duringt he entire battle? Also why did all the attacking bad guy mutants have no powers, they all seemed like they could just leap high. None of these guys fighting the X-men had any powers that was BORING. Spoiler: Just in case someone hasn't seen it I guess. At the end Magneto after being stabbed with the cure can somehow still move metal... So the entire movie and conflict was POINTLESS. Superman has a number of flaws as well like Superman leaving for Krypton for one, he knows the planet is blow up why check and why leave without telling anyone you were going ot check? Unless in a sequel or something that actually come back to that and Superman was off fighting someone he didn't want to mention to Luis. Also the no final confrontation with Lex sucked, I wanted one scene just ONE scene of superman kicking ass, they cut away before you see what he does to the bank robber, I call bull shit. Still with these faults Superman Returns is far from boring.... So there that ends it they both suck in their own ways. The debate is over!!! Now lets move on to more fun topics like Clerks 2 can it beat Monster House? Or Snakes on a Plane the new Blair Witch Project?
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Supes II. You know, the one where HE THROWS A FUCKING PUNCH. Or ten. Because he has worthy foes. It was a pedestrian film that doesn't hold up, but damn it was FUN and the BEST of the series, including Singerman Regurgitated.
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July 15, 2006, 12:25 p.m. CST
Smiths taste are always suspect and he's bitter about..
by IndustryKiller
Superman since he sor tof got cheated out of his own version. I don't blame him for being bitter, I'm just saying he is nowhere near an unbiased source. Besides this is to be expected, he has always had classically bad taste in comic book films chamioning the horrible Daredevil to death and even fucking appearing in it. So guys you gotta take what Smith says with a grain of salt. He's far more of a writer than a filmmaker anyway.
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A horrible, misguided movie more about Lois Lane (the single mother "settling" for a real world person rather than the ideal) rather than Superman. I don't care about Lois Lane, quite honestly. I liked Routh, which surprised me, but the story had no true drama. There were glimpses of what could have been. I think the most telling metaphor could have been the return of the "father" figure in that today's society often hates that ideal of "good" in others. Of the hardworking, honest man. I would have liked to see more of that shown, more of this dichotomy of the people themselves hating superman because he reveals their limitations and how he can never truly "connect" with others. It's a shame because I loved X-2 and The Usual Suspects, but Singer really dropped the ball on this one. It was worse than X-3, which I hated. I REGRETTED seeing Superman Returns, whereas, I just tried to forget I saw X-3. In short, Kevin Smith was right. Flame away.
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on the net...and he has his own blog and website for it. I guess making a library of movies that made a total of $57.00 gives one that right.
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I keep hearing about him. Did he used to come on here? Was he shamed into submission after J&SBSB? Is he the guy that recut the Star Wars prequels?
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From box office mojo: 1 - PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST : $18,955,000 2 - LITTLE MAN : $7,605,000 3 - YOU, ME AND DUPREE : $7,390,000 4 - SUPERMAN RETURNS : $3,290,000 5 - THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA : $3,210,000 Coupla things, Pirates has the highest theatre count by almost 1000, and its total is $214. Superman Returns total gross is $155 mil. (I'm guessing it caps out at 180 domestic). Devil Wear Prada is at 76 mil. And, while we may debate the back and forth the merits of Superman Returns or X3, the best summer flick was definitely Pirates, anyway.
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Crip Boy look as though he has cerbral palsy. Which would be a condition link to lack of oxygen at birth. Abortion wouldn't have done anything.
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"Son, there are only two types of people in this world: People who like X3 and people who like Superman Returns."
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erm...yeah..uh huh yes..now.
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I was refering to Kevin Smith.
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Sorry. I live in Austin, and I'm from Red Bank, and had to annoy you with it.
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Bet the guy had a great parking space.
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Lack of Oxygen? Why don't you look it up before trying to sound knowledgeable? You won't make such a fool of yourself that way. Spelling it 'cerebral' would help too.
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This ain't your livejournal!
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but it wasn't. Kevin Smith should be unemployed living in his mom's basement but he's not. The just isn't right.
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To all the ignorant asses who think that disabled people are better off aborted.I became paralyzed in my late 20's and now use a manual wheelchair. I guess they should have put my gimp ass to sleep. BTW, MD is neurological disorder that effects the body not the brain, I bet this guy is smarter that you tools. Besides that, it is a poorly written piece that made me wonder WTF is it about and why do I care? Maybe a vid clip would be the answer.
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...I suppose it's too much to report what was actually said. You know, kinda like the reason why we clicked on the link
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Listen. Not that it
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I really am terribly, terribly sorry. That was crass and inappropriate. My apologies. Rest assured, I will rot in Hell for the above statement.
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Heres my problem with SR. Superman should be able to get a really good woman to be at his side. Lois is portrayed as a chain smokeing dishonest whore. Lets not forget the HUGE lack of logic the movie shows. SPOILER ALERT>>>>>>wouldnt Richard know thats not his kid. The kid calls him dad, the audience i was with didnt know better. WTF! Lois was portrayed as an unattractive and undesirable harlot. Why would a SUPERMAN be attached to this women, It makes Supes seem terribly flawed. Not to mention, the movie costs 260 million and we dont see superman throw a single punch. Matrix Revoulution was a better superman movie then the real superman movie was. I love Movies, and I love Superman, I just cant understand why you would make a superman movie in 2006 and not include a suspensfull fight scene. All we get is a bunch of rescue scenes in which there is never any doubt in anyones mind that superman will save the fucking day. And at the end of the movie the real superman is Richard, who saves the day and is bound to have his heart broken or turn evil in the next two films. Further emphising the flaws of Superman. The movie was beautifully filmed but did not deliever, it was beautifully filmed pretentious garbage. Just like All Star Batman. The best artists and the Best Writer creating a shit book. And what the fuck was the movie. Was it superman 5? 2.5? Am I supposed to just believe that this is 3 and that Superman three never happened. Cmon, if someone first showed you this film and said that Brett Ratner actually directed it, the whole board and internet would take a dump on it. The only reason anyone thought this was a great movie is because Singer directed it, and everyone is on that guys dick for some reason.
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Like in LA, I wake up and this chick is in my bed and she tells me she can't have sex with me because she ahs her period. That's going to be with me til the day I die. Thanks for screwing me out of Monster house tickets Mori. Thats ok. I left 2 days before the screening anyway.
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The irony in your statement is, as someone in a wheelchair, Amygirl9x probably still has about as much or more sex than you or 98% of the people here. Hello, it's fucking aintitcoolnews we're on!
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this is the greatest moment ever? Claire Forlani has been nude in other movies. Just because someone in a wheelchair asked him that you need to create a whole thread about this? I expected a little more that a tit joke.
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seriously if it was just some able-bodied geek he'd just have looked like a fucking loser asking such a witless question. i guess it would have been funny to have been there..but still..talk about much ado about nothing.
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Is it like a before and after thing? I can't tell.
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its debatable whether Amy would even notice she was having sex.
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I loved Superman Returns. I loved Batman Begins. I'm a firm beliver that people are all entitled to there own opinion, i mean just because I don't like Battle Star Galactica or even Star Trek but i don't run around screaming how bad they suck because my opinion of them is low. Everyone wants to be a movie critic, And i can be the same way sometimes but we're beating a dead horse. Superman (1979) Superman Returns and every other movie ever made are flawed. I agree with RageBYTW, I want to see a Superman movie where he fights a real hardcore super villian. One who he can fight with punches and throwing buildings and shit like in the comics, but lets wait to the sequel before we start slinging shit. I know somebody is going to complain about every movie madefrom now on but come on people, lifes to short to be so cynical. Bottom line, for every Matrix there is going to be ten thousand Batman and Robin's,we just have to spend our money on what we want and try not to be nit picking bitches.
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he is so f en funny he allways comes up with shit to crack you up
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I was there! Great stuff! They better put that in the special features in the Clerks 2 10th anniversary dvd!
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