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Dr. Hfuhruhurr's CLERKS 2 review from the premiere!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with Dr. Hfuhruhurr's look at CLERKS 2. I don't think I'm going to be able to see this one until after Comic-Con as the release falls right in my traveling back to the states. I love that the reviews all seem to be genuinely impressed with it and count it as a career best for Smith. I hope I agree! Can't wait to give it a viewing! Here's the good doc-tor!
CLERKS II: SEE IT WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN A HETERO WAY!
Dr. Hfuhruhurr here, just back from the fancy dancy premiere of CLERKS II (all the cleverness was saved for the script I guess, not the title). And for the record, I went to the screening as a guest of one of the sponsors, not on the invite list. (You’ll see how I feel about Cinema du Smith in just a moment).
The big show was held at the gigantic world famous Cineramadome in Hollywood (imagine the delightful irony there -- a CLERKS sequel on the almost biggest, almost most famous’est movie screen in the world), Before the film began, Kevin Smith said that this was “the gayest straight film ever made” and that those who knew him knew that he was “the gayest straight man alive, just one cock in the mouth short of being gay himself.”
This is all good cause damnit, there ain’t enough hetero man love going around these days!
Cutting right to the chase, I think this is Kevin Smith’s most enjoyable film on many levels. But since Kevin Smith is a litmus test of sorts for many of you geeks out there who either love him or hate, here’s where I stand with him so you know whether or not you want to trust this review.
When the original CLERKS first came out, I was marginally impressed. I thought the acting was stiff, the direction mediocre, but the heart, soul and humor were amazing...and a breath of fresh air because there really hadn’t been anything like it at the time. Yes, Virginia, there was a time when self aware, ironic, slacker humor was unique. Then came the clones and every suit and tie in Hollywood demanded that all script now be “hip and edgy...like CLERKS.” And thus were begotten Dawson’s Creek, Reality Bites and SFW.
While the clones increased, Kevin Smith went on to make movies he wanted to make -- after pocketing tons of cash from being offered everything in town to write (from SUPERMAN LIVES to THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN) based on the CLERKS heat. And for that I say, God bless him.
Although I was never a Kevin Smith groupie or even a distant fan, I generally checked out his flicks. Skipped MALL RATS until years later when I watched it on DVD (thought it was an amusing misfire), dug CHASING AMY quite a bit, dug parts of DOGMA quite a bit, laughed way more than I should have during JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK and bought it (and CHASING AMY) on DVD. Still haven’t watched AMY again, but every once in a while I pop in JAY AND SILENT BOB for shits and giggles -- in small increments.
I’ll say right here, with all due respect, that Kevin Smith will never be accused of being a great filmmaker. His films still feel like, well, like films made by a gang of guys who found some equipment in their uncle’s garage and spent all their weekends for a year making their own "movie." I have come to think this is a good thing -- the real breath of fresh air that Smith offers, and by God he does amuse me so and over the years he has won me over. I have grown to love and admire this man’s balls and heart (not necessarily in that order). And what I now love about a Kevin Smith film -- which comes out in force in CLERKS II, is that he puts his heart, soul and passion up there. He loves what he’s doing, he loves (and knows) his niche in the film biz, and he loves his homies. It’s all up there on the screen and you can’t help but smile and be gleeful. It’s infectious. And CLERKS II is the pinnacle (at least for now) of all that.
Set today, as CLERKS was set in yesteryear, the film takes place approximately ten years after the original and everyone has aged appropriately -- unfortunately, they had no choice. The whole gang is back: Dante, Randall, Jay, Silent Bob , and all the expected cameos, plus newcomers Becky (Rosario Dawson) and the real treat of the film, new Clerk, the Christian-bred, Lord of the Rings/Transformers geek Elias (played to show-stealing perfection by Trevor Ferman and damn, damn, damn is this kid the shit! I want him to have his own spin-off like right now!).
Some things have changed for some of these Jersey folks, some things haven’t. Dante is engaged and about to move to Florida with his finacee to get married and to rise to middle management heights on her father’s coattails. Randall is not so thrilled to be losing his hetero life-mate. And from there, it delivers everything you’d expect (plus a little more) from a Kevin Smith film, complete with a stand off between Lord of the Rings trilogy lovers and Randall, still defending the original Star Wars trilogy as THE trilogy.
As I said, CLERKS II may be Smith’s most enjoyable, if not simply his best, film. It’s tight, it’s consistently funny, it’s clever, it makes you want to get up and dance at one point, it makes you want to toss your cookies at one point, and it makes you want to run through the streets yelling “Porch Monkey!” Also, after you see it, you’ll be demanding that Smith makes and mass markets "Pillow Pockets" action figure the way he did Buddy Jesus.
The film still looks like a film made by a bunch of buddies on weekends, and Dante and Randall still have not become master thespians, but everyone from Smith on down have gotten much better and tighter and visually more interesting (the opening comes to mind). There are no dead spots, no misfires, and many a great moment. And it’s really, truly about something: friendship and what happens to friends over a ten-year span. A lot of shit. You can tell that everyone involved had a helluva time reminiscing about how far (or not) they have come since they were a pack of nobodies 13 years ago making CLERKS for a buck and change...and the fondness they still feel for those days and for each other it shows up on the screen. It's a perfect film to see while we're all still celebrating ten years of Ain't It Cool News.
And on top of everything else. CLERKS II may be the ultimate hetero life-mate date movie. It won’t make you want to suck cock (if you’re a guy) but it might make you want to call all your old pals and suggest that you all dump your wives, girlfriends, and fiancées so you can live together like a Band of Brothers. Harry? Drew? Any takers?
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to say, I just watched Clerks again, and the acting is so bad, the dialogue is made better for it...
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Jul 13, 2006 10:55:22 PM CDT
Fuck "First" posters...fuck them in their stupid asses
by carmillavondoom
can't wait, such a fan
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PEEP IT http://tinyurl.com/r55kw
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that motion, Mr.Wonka...Kevin Smith writes great dialogue, and when he can afford real actors, it's gold...
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Mr. Wonka, that Carmilla character is an stodgy chap, isn't he?
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why are you speaking with a British accent?
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my bad, dogg...
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and Rosario Dawson is fugly
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1) I'm sort of scared to see this movie because I can see it hitting too close to home. Station in life and all.
2) That Spider-man 3 poster made my bum tingle. -
you know you want to know
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Yeah, it's cool to watch a movie there... as long as you're sitting directly in the middle! If you're stuck on the side near the aisle, everyone's face and body is strangely, weirdly elongated. I was so excited to see Spider-Man 2 at that theatre, and then... bad times, man. Bad times.
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OK... I'm going to trust you and go back and read it...
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The first Clerks dialogue was amusing to say the least. Intelligent Star Wars banter about the morality of contract work on the Death Star. Not something you've heard a million times before.
But from the commercials at least, the geek dialogue seems completely uninspired. If you're going to do a Star Wars vs. LOTR thing, or diss LOTR, at least make it witty, not the same crap you can read on the internet for the past four years. I like the first Clerks. I'd see the sequel if it actually looked good or funny. Nothing I've seen so far looks like it. And I'm not too sure I'd have the same taste as someone who likes Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which just wasn't my thing. -
Even though there are a lot of people who hate Kevin Smith, much of the hatred coming from Jersey Girl backlash, I still like and respect Smith. His movies aren't meant to be classics but funny enjoyable films. I have enjoyed all of Smith's movies, even Jersey Girl. I hope Clerks II is good movie because in my opinion it should have never been made. Do we really need to see these characters again? Do we really want a colorized sequel with better acting? Clerks worked because it was so raw, filthy, funny, and true to life. After reading this and a couple of reviews, I think it can be a good movie. I just hope Smith made the right choice.
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not too different than M. Night Shamalathamadingdong, when you look at the body of work.
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From what I've heard, this will be a good flick to see with my buddies before we head off to college in the fall (emo tear). And there really is no point to this post, I just feel like posting on a topic that is somewaht relevant to me.
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Eh? Um.... what part of the country is this guy from? Last I heard that was a pretty nasty racial slur. Am I out of date here? Has soemthing changed recently? Fill me in People
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Anyone? Are they in the movie?
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Say what you want about Kevin Smith but at least his spelling and punctuation are beyond a third grade level.
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any news on a UK release date?
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you viewaskew fuckers, always licking kevins ass clean. you like it huh? fuckin faggots! Actually I don't even know what i'm saying right now. I'm drunk as a skunk and could careless. Rock on Kevin!
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Exactly what I'm thinking. The Death Star independent contractors bit was a witty, original musing about one of geekdoms most sacred cows. The SW/LOTR debates between Randall and the new guy is just... Stuff everyone already knows. "Star Wars had Jar Jar" ... OUCH! Wow, that came out of left field. Never heard THAT in an attack on SW before. And the same with LOTR. "Hobbits were gay for eachother." "There was nothing but walking." And so on... All these points are true, but instead of laughing, they make you think "Hmm, yeah, I agree with that. Well, Ha Ha, I guess." Naturally, I'm still gonna see the movie, I just think that Smith is starting to grow away from the geek he used to be, from when he was the "patron saint of fanboys," but his audience remains as geeky as ever, so he's forced to throw us all these pop culture geeky bones when his heart really isn't in it anymore.
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This is the trailer that Kevin Smith wanted to do.. He just could not get the rights to do it.. See it by going to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao8QEOr0Pgk
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It's hard to review Kevin Smith movies well. People either get pissy, or too effusive, and it's tough to know who to aim for. I wrote a review of the J&SBSB DVD, and Kevin wrote me to complain about it (after first telling me I was a great writer...gee, that was tough to see through.) I feel the same as you about Kevin Smith. There's so much about him that is irritating and hopeless, but in a world bereft of people who will make cum jokes, he's also nice to have around until something better comes along. There's a certain warmth about his films, in addition to a certain heat off the shit. But this sounds like a good time. I wouldn't be surprised if this film ended upbeing huge, ebcause there's been so little JOY at the movies this summer. Even Revenge of the Sith seemed like a jaunting adventure compared to the shit this summer (although POTC was fun.)
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...that he has CLERKS II out of his system. Here's hoping.
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and when it was over, he turned to me and asked, "Why?" and I had no answer for him. Yet another ridiculously pointless sequel
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Do I *really* want to go back and see what happened to everybody? I don't want to ruin the memories I have of these people.
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I would have been excited if I was 16 years old again, but I just shrugged and said "Meh". I've grown up. I thought, I'll probably enjoy it, but I'm just not the Smith fan I used to be. I was more excited about his second 'Evening' DVD coming out, than this. However, the more reviews I read, the more excited I become. I have yet to read a negative review. I keep clicking on them, hoping for a negative one, so that I can save my money next weekend, but every single one, so far, has been, not only positive, but raving. Kevin, if you're reading, and I know you might be, here's to hoping you'll make me feel 16 years old again. Oh, and Rosario Dawson actually looks hotter in the trailers and posters than she did in Sin City. That's saying a lot.
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One of the best nicknames of all time. I wonder, is he married to Ms Almalmahhaay?
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i like all his stuff to one degree or another..chasing amy is brilliant film. this looks funny.
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Hurrah! Hurrah!
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... for a consistently funny Kevin Smith movie. I sat in stony silence about as much as I laughed at "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back;" about 50/50. His last truly funny flick, and one that approaches greatness, was "Dogma." Hopefully, this new one is a step back in the right direction.
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Randall was mistakenly led to beleive by his "not racist" grandma that porchmonkey was just a term for lazy people, regardless of color. Randall trys to "take the term back" and de-racialize it.
The movie is HARDCORE in terms of pulling no punches. Smith has never been as in your face as this one. Any movie where a sexually confused teenager is shown jacking off, screaming "I'm sorry Jesus" while watching a man fuck a donkey is pretty ballsy. Amazing dance scene with Dawson though, lots of boob movement. I can just see Smith in wardrobe beforehand "Her tit's aren't jumping around enough, I want LESS TIT SUPPORT DAMMIT!" -
You can't just create magic. Magic just has to happen.
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"Any movie where a sexually confused teenager is shown jacking off, screaming "I'm sorry Jesus" while watching a man fuck a donkey is pretty ballsy"
No, it's just trying to hard. See Family Guy and Drawn Together for examples of the exact same "edgy" humor. -
Oh it's trying alright, trying really hard to be ballsy. And through the sheer about of offensive things in the film, Smith actually achives ballsyness, if only for not caring how badly his desire to offend almost ruins his film. There is some funny shit in the movie that saves if from being totally embarassing (Mewes is all gold) but some of the stuff is pretty bad. Calling a broken bottle a "n*gger knife" is too much for me, regardless of context.
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No growing up here. Of course, I could say I enjoyed the original Star Wars... then I turned nine. You can "grow up" from anything.
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The greatest surrealist writer of our time.
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