I am – Hercules!!

According to this Web-only Variety story “Big Brother” is such a big deal in Australia even the nation’s prime minister can’t get it taken off the air.

The other eye-catching thing about that story is Australia’s Network Ten airs a late-night “adult” version of “Big Brother.” Wouldn’t it be bitchin’ if one of CBS’ many many sister channels – Showtime? Logo? – televised its own grown-up cable version of “Big Brother”?

Tonight’s season opener will see the CBS’ 20 nominees whittled down to 12 contestants. America got to choose six; producers got to choose the other six.

You can see what they all look like here.

The nominees:
“Chicken” George Boswell (1)
Bald Gay Bunky Hill (2)
Evil Doctor Will Kirby(2)
Mike Boogie Malin (2)
Monica “It’s On!” Bailey (2)
Bald Gay Marcellas Reynolds (3)
Fabulous Lisa Donahue (3)
Dramatic Danielle Reyes (3)
Coltish Erika Landin (4)
Excitable Dana Varela (4)
Vixenish Alison Irwin (4)
Pitt-Worshiping Jase Wirey (5)
Michael “Cowboy” Ellis (5)
Jennifer “Nakomis” Dedmon (5)
Horny Diane Henry (5)
Master Jedi Howie Gordon (6)
“King” Kayser Ridha (6)
Angry Ivette Corredero (6)
Veto Czar James Rhine (6)
Mouthy Janelle Pierzna (6)

Which eight won’t make it into the house? I maybe pick Boogie, Cowboy, Nakomis, Jase, Danielle and Diane as most likely to get the bum’s rush off CBS’ historic Studio City lot.

One suspects the Big Brother nation has voted heavily toward last season’s charismatic Jedi Council: Janelle, Howie and Kaysar. Evil Doc Will is a lock. The Hairless Homosexuals might fill out America’s Choice, unless crybaby Bunky is displaced by blubbery halfwit Chicken George.

The producers (and network) will then want to balance out the genders with some bikini action, so Alison, Lisa and nerd-herd co-fuehrer Ivette seem almost certain to get invites. They might pick Monica to reunite Will with his old rival. Maybe Erika. Possibly Dana.

I could be wrong.

The show begins its real schedule next week, with regular 8 p.m. airings on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.

8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.

UPDATE!! SPOILER!! For those who don’t like reading the talkbacks? Mortystv.com posted this on July 4 (though nobody bothered to tell me about it until the morning of the July 6 premiere).:

Some of our posters have subscribed to the feeds already. Being the BB junkies they are, they have been watching the feeds today. You have to admire these people, sitting and watching a screen with flames! BUT, at about 6:32PM EST people started posting about hearing Houseguests on the feeds! Here is the list they have compiled. 8 guys and 6 girls - The final list is (assuming 14 are in):

Allison (heard clearly)
Janelle ( is HOH)
Diane (heard clearly)
Danielle (heard clearly)
Nakomis (mentioned by Danielle and Kaysar and then heard clearly)
Erika (heard clearly)
Howie (heard clearly)
George (was called to DR)
Marcellas (heard clearly)
Jase (heard clearly also HoH?)
James (heard clearly)
Kaysar (heard clearly)
Dr. Will (talked about by Danielle)
Mike Boogie (talked about by Danielle and others)

The story we are hearing is that there are two HoH's and they must agree on their nominations, or they will be the nominees.