Hola all. Massawyrm here.

You know, Gore Verbinski just hasn’t gotten much geek love. When we sit around and throw out the names of directors for dream projects we toss out Spielberg, Cameron, Scott, Tarantino, Jackson, Rodriguez; but no Verbinski. And honestly, up until now, the guys had a rocky career – but a solid one. Having traversed nearly half a dozen different genres ranging from kids films (‘Mouse Hunt’), horror (with the one Arguably better than the original J-Horror remake ‘The Ring’), and a mix of the two with the High-Adventure family horror film Pirates of the Caribbean: A Name Much Longer Than It Fucking Should Be.

Of course that’s not to say he hasn’t had his missteps with forays into comedy (with the really bad at first but likable by the time Gene Hackman shows up ‘The Mexican’) and his attempt at the quirky, depressing, fucked up in America drama (‘The Weather Man’.) But when all is said and done, the guy understands genre, he understands film making, and no matter what anyone says about the quality of the films, the one thing they can’t say is that they don’t look good. The guy has the eye. He has it in a big way and knows how to make a beautiful looking film.

But all that changes this weekend as people by the metric ton pour into theatres to see Pirates of the Caribbean: A Slightly Shorter Title this Time Around. This is the film that puts him on the geek map. Okay, you know what, I’m gonna stop dancing around this and just come out and say it. Gore Verbinski is fucking Steven Spielberg. No, no, no. Get that image out of your head kiddies. Fucking is being used as an adjective…or an adverb…whatever the fuck Alexandra Dupont calls it. The guy isn’t exactly Spielberg, but he’s as close as this generations gonna get. If he doesn’t prove to be better.

Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa? I know, I know. Calm down a moment and let me explain. Remember how Spielberg started with ‘Duel’ and ‘Sugerland Express’, which led to his Horror adaptation ‘Jaws’, a Really great Sci-fi film, then a bomb of a comedy…until we arrive at one of the single greatest series of family movies of all time. The Indiana Jones Trilogy. Now what was brilliant about Indiana Jones was that it took the setting of the old pulp serials, mixed in a healthy dose of mythology, fantasy and to a certain extent Horror, and churned out one entertaining as hell thrill ride. Time and again. Of course, the quality, while still great and entertaining, kind of waned with each of the subsequent sequels.

In Pirates of the Caribbean, Verbinski seemed to be attempting the exact same thing. He crossed the swashbuckling pirate film of old with horror and created something exciting and fun. He let Johnny Depp run wild and managed to create one of the best and most endearing characters of this decade. He made a film that everyone thought was going to be a miserable train wreck of an attempt to adapt a theme park ride into a major motion picture and managed to turn out something really special.

Well, now he’s back with the follow up and bow howdy if he hasn’t made a film far superior to the original. This film kicks seven kinds of ass and is easily more entertaining than the first. And yes, I LOVE the first. Great fun. But this? This is better. What they’ve done here is let the series evolve. Rather than simply making a “Further adventures of” series of sequels, Dead Man’s Chest feels very much like the middle film of a trilogy. It picks up exactly where it left off, and fleshes out ideas and concepts from the first film to continue the story of Cap’n Jack Sparrow and the folks who get caught up in his bizarre adventures.

At the same time, it makes sure to put the pressure on and hurts in all the right places. This is the film that puts it’s characters through hell – the is ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ in more ways than just being the middle film. Imagine if Indiana Jones had actually been written as a Trilogy. That’s Pirates of the Caribbean.

This time around, while Verbinski has kept both the feeling of high adventure and squeamish horror, he has made what is very decidedly a fantasy film. It’s about sea monsters and cursed crews and strange powers and magical artifacts. Compasses that point to your hearts desire and body parts that, yes Alexandra, control the sea. It’s almost got this Sinbad quality to it, you know, if Harryhausen had today’s tools to play around with.

And the story is simply breathless. Clocking in seemingly as long as the first, this one doesn’t ever slow down or feel like it should be a few scenes lighter (like many feel about the first film.) It is a non stop series of fights, monster attacks, comedy and set up for one hell of a killer finale. Which of course leads to the inevitable cliffhanger everyone’s been talking about. So which is it? A Matrix Reloaded style WTF, I know you’re not ending the movie like that cliffhanger? Or a Kill Bill style ramp up that tells you exactly what the next film is about?

Well, I’m glad to report it’s the latter. It’s a perfect ending to one hell of a fun film that leaves you wanting to kick whatever Disney exec decided to release the last film next summer - rather than this Thanksgiving or Christmas - squaw in the nuts…but final enough to let you walk out satisfied that this chapter is over and you’ve seen a complete film. Not just half of a really long one.

Now if this film has any flaws, it’s that I think the film pushes its PG-13 rating just a little too hard. There are some scenes that are just plain gruesome. Sure, they don’t always show it. But you spear the crunch of bone and splashy squash of flesh when you probably shouldn’t. And while that’s great for guys like me who enjoy that sort of thing, the half-dozen or so friends and readers that have e-mailed me about taking their 4 years olds this Friday might want to pause and check it out on their own first. It’s a bit over the top and definitely earns its PG-13 as opposed to many that get it for a stray sexual reference or use of the F-Word. It’s definitely not too hard, but does go a bit further than its predecessor.

But all in all, this film delivers everything it promises. It’s 2 and a half hours of entertaining, swashbuckling geek bliss. Seriously, I couldn’t wipe that goofy, giddy little grin off of my face the whole time. If you’re one of those people who just plain can’t wait to see this, I’ve got a crisp fiver in my pocket that says you ain’t gonna be disappointed.

Twice now Gore Verbinski has done what he shouldn’t have been able to do. First he took a theme park ride and made it into a great movie. Now he’s taken a great movie and made it into a great series. He took the spirit of an animatronic boat ride and wove it into Indiana Jones with pirates and sea monsters. He’s crafted an iconic antihero with Jack Sparrow and never allows him to coast on his laurels from the first film.

If he can follow this up with a third film as good as this, or even as good as the first…well, his ass will be sitting atop our geek dream director list for quite some time. Spielberg has made some really great adventure films in his day. But he never made a sequel that quite lived up to the original. Gore Verbinski has. And then he topped it.

Seriously, guys. Verbinski’s one to watch.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.

Massawyrm