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Massawyrm Shivvers His Timbers On A DEAD MAN'S CHEST!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
You know, Gore Verbinski just hasn’t gotten much geek love. When we sit around and throw out the names of directors for dream projects we toss out Spielberg, Cameron, Scott, Tarantino, Jackson, Rodriguez; but no Verbinski. And honestly, up until now, the guys had a rocky career – but a solid one. Having traversed nearly half a dozen different genres ranging from kids films (‘Mouse Hunt’), horror (with the one Arguably better than the original J-Horror remake ‘The Ring’), and a mix of the two with the High-Adventure family horror film Pirates of the Caribbean: A Name Much Longer Than It Fucking Should Be.
Of course that’s not to say he hasn’t had his missteps with forays into comedy (with the really bad at first but likable by the time Gene Hackman shows up ‘The Mexican’) and his attempt at the quirky, depressing, fucked up in America drama (‘The Weather Man’.) But when all is said and done, the guy understands genre, he understands film making, and no matter what anyone says about the quality of the films, the one thing they can’t say is that they don’t look good. The guy has the eye. He has it in a big way and knows how to make a beautiful looking film.
But all that changes this weekend as people by the metric ton pour into theatres to see Pirates of the Caribbean: A Slightly Shorter Title this Time Around. This is the film that puts him on the geek map. Okay, you know what, I’m gonna stop dancing around this and just come out and say it. Gore Verbinski is fucking Steven Spielberg. No, no, no. Get that image out of your head kiddies. Fucking is being used as an adjective…or an adverb…whatever the fuck Alexandra Dupont calls it. The guy isn’t exactly Spielberg, but he’s as close as this generations gonna get. If he doesn’t prove to be better.
Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa? I know, I know. Calm down a moment and let me explain. Remember how Spielberg started with ‘Duel’ and ‘Sugerland Express’, which led to his Horror adaptation ‘Jaws’, a Really great Sci-fi film, then a bomb of a comedy…until we arrive at one of the single greatest series of family movies of all time. The Indiana Jones Trilogy. Now what was brilliant about Indiana Jones was that it took the setting of the old pulp serials, mixed in a healthy dose of mythology, fantasy and to a certain extent Horror, and churned out one entertaining as hell thrill ride. Time and again. Of course, the quality, while still great and entertaining, kind of waned with each of the subsequent sequels.
In Pirates of the Caribbean, Verbinski seemed to be attempting the exact same thing. He crossed the swashbuckling pirate film of old with horror and created something exciting and fun. He let Johnny Depp run wild and managed to create one of the best and most endearing characters of this decade. He made a film that everyone thought was going to be a miserable train wreck of an attempt to adapt a theme park ride into a major motion picture and managed to turn out something really special.
Well, now he’s back with the follow up and bow howdy if he hasn’t made a film far superior to the original. This film kicks seven kinds of ass and is easily more entertaining than the first. And yes, I LOVE the first. Great fun. But this? This is better. What they’ve done here is let the series evolve. Rather than simply making a “Further adventures of” series of sequels, Dead Man’s Chest feels very much like the middle film of a trilogy. It picks up exactly where it left off, and fleshes out ideas and concepts from the first film to continue the story of Cap’n Jack Sparrow and the folks who get caught up in his bizarre adventures.
At the same time, it makes sure to put the pressure on and hurts in all the right places. This is the film that puts it’s characters through hell – the is ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ in more ways than just being the middle film. Imagine if Indiana Jones had actually been written as a Trilogy. That’s Pirates of the Caribbean.
This time around, while Verbinski has kept both the feeling of high adventure and squeamish horror, he has made what is very decidedly a fantasy film. It’s about sea monsters and cursed crews and strange powers and magical artifacts. Compasses that point to your hearts desire and body parts that, yes Alexandra, control the sea. It’s almost got this Sinbad quality to it, you know, if Harryhausen had today’s tools to play around with.
And the story is simply breathless. Clocking in seemingly as long as the first, this one doesn’t ever slow down or feel like it should be a few scenes lighter (like many feel about the first film.) It is a non stop series of fights, monster attacks, comedy and set up for one hell of a killer finale. Which of course leads to the inevitable cliffhanger everyone’s been talking about. So which is it? A Matrix Reloaded style WTF, I know you’re not ending the movie like that cliffhanger? Or a Kill Bill style ramp up that tells you exactly what the next film is about?
Well, I’m glad to report it’s the latter. It’s a perfect ending to one hell of a fun film that leaves you wanting to kick whatever Disney exec decided to release the last film next summer - rather than this Thanksgiving or Christmas - squaw in the nuts…but final enough to let you walk out satisfied that this chapter is over and you’ve seen a complete film. Not just half of a really long one.
Now if this film has any flaws, it’s that I think the film pushes its PG-13 rating just a little too hard. There are some scenes that are just plain gruesome. Sure, they don’t always show it. But you spear the crunch of bone and splashy squash of flesh when you probably shouldn’t. And while that’s great for guys like me who enjoy that sort of thing, the half-dozen or so friends and readers that have e-mailed me about taking their 4 years olds this Friday might want to pause and check it out on their own first. It’s a bit over the top and definitely earns its PG-13 as opposed to many that get it for a stray sexual reference or use of the F-Word. It’s definitely not too hard, but does go a bit further than its predecessor.
But all in all, this film delivers everything it promises. It’s 2 and a half hours of entertaining, swashbuckling geek bliss. Seriously, I couldn’t wipe that goofy, giddy little grin off of my face the whole time. If you’re one of those people who just plain can’t wait to see this, I’ve got a crisp fiver in my pocket that says you ain’t gonna be disappointed.
Twice now Gore Verbinski has done what he shouldn’t have been able to do. First he took a theme park ride and made it into a great movie. Now he’s taken a great movie and made it into a great series. He took the spirit of an animatronic boat ride and wove it into Indiana Jones with pirates and sea monsters. He’s crafted an iconic antihero with Jack Sparrow and never allows him to coast on his laurels from the first film.
If he can follow this up with a third film as good as this, or even as good as the first…well, his ass will be sitting atop our geek dream director list for quite some time. Spielberg has made some really great adventure films in his day. But he never made a sequel that quite lived up to the original. Gore Verbinski has. And then he topped it.
Seriously, guys. Verbinski’s one to watch.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.
Massawyrm
Arrrrr, here be a fine place to be e-mailin’ me your comments and ravin’s, you mutinous lot of scurvy sea dogs. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
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The next RE film will be shit.
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Nevermind, every review on AICN is a plant.
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Check this out. Very good. http://www.aintitcrapnews.tk/
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Looks like all the verdicts are in. Guilty. Guilty of being a great fun movie. I watched the first one last night on my brother's projector, and man it was a fun ride. Can't wait to see the new one.
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Did Massawyrm actually just write "BOW HOWDY" in his review?!?
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he also offers little insight. fire him. re-hire dupont.
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I don't know. It's kind of silly to compare the two but I get where you're coming from. When it comes to making adventure fantasies about pirates, he sure as hell has Spiely beat (HOOK anyone?). All of his movies certainly look great, exquisitely produced and he knows how to work with actors...but he still seems like a studio go-to guy. He's not an auteur but maybe that's not so bad. On the other hand, he does show artistic ambition beyond pure populist entertainment--and even though "The Weather Man" was depressing and pointless, maybe he will turn out to be one of our better directors. I do know one thing--I AM DYING TO SEE "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: A SLIGHTLY SHORTER TITLE THIS TIME"!!!!!!
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Family movies?
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1) he is moriarty's driver/bodyguard. 2) he is harry's 7-year-old nephew. He cements here his status as easily the worst regular writer on this site. Movie looks good though.
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Garfield Halloween special back in the 80s.
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parents should quit being whiny sissies and let their kids experience things, not shelter them until they're too old to truly enjoy it on the same level they would have done were they younger.
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been another classic movie scene, not an x-ray of a woman's reproductive system!
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Pirate ship? Small intestines being ripped out of stomach? A vase of flowers? WHAT?
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it couldnt make its mind up if it was a comedy or serious drama, it pissed me off to no end so this one better get its act together
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was mildly diverting junk. The "New Spielberg" my downy ass.
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It's the big ship blowing up the White House from INDEPENDENCE DAY. It was the first "background" used on the site, whose 10th anniversary is this week, hence its return (along with a few other little details).
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was the original background. Of course, I never knew what it was.
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What makes the difference between Gore and Spielberg is that the first one is a highly competent craftsman with a lot of artistic talent. The latter is a mad, visionay genius who has redefined moviemaking several times, and has made some of the greatest films of all time. This is not to put down Gore, who I respect a great deal. But Spielberg has again and again set the standard for others to follow. Personally I think that while his input in the last 10 years has been mixed (When it wasn't mixed? People just remember his best flicks), his films still have kind of out-of-this-world scenes in them that very few directors are capable of moviemaking of the samel level. So far I haven't seen that kind of work from Gore. And I doubt POTC2 is gonna change my mind, even if it probably is a really good adventure movie.
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So what if it is the 10th Aniversary Independance day whitehouse thingy! YOU CAN@T SEE WHAT IT IS!!! therefore there's no point to it! It's annoying! Do A brand New Background to celebrate the 10th aniversary like use the new kIng Konk or superman or ANything! please remove it! it is very, very annoying! Oh and Pirates 2 looks so cool!
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Massawyrm got it pretty close, actually. Gore is the modern day version of Spielberg's old protegee, ROBERT ZEMECKIS. Both are very good directors, stylish and smart. Both can tackle a lot of genres, but have a preference for straight genre movies. Both deliver quality geek movies. Of course Gore still has a long way to reach the same status as Zemeckis, but he might get there.
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Good call Massa. I have been listing Gore as a top 10 director ever since I saw the Ring, and saw the first POTC. Everyone always said WHO?? It was the fact that he said he wanted to make the Godfather Trilogy of horror movies, when doing the ring series, that of course is before he was replaced, but your on to something, Spielberg is a bit much, but I can definetly see the potential. Big time.
Ferwick
WWW.THEIDIOTTESTAMENT.COM -
Really? What is it you didnt like about the Ring? I thought it was well done, quite well done in fact. What didnt you like?
Fernwick -
You are a pussy. The Ring is a great remake. It takes the original and boring Ringu and injects it with fucking steroids. While the remake was not at all scary to me, it was still well done and well directed. The look of the film was also great. The original was boring, slow, and the "polaroid" effect every time Sadako killed someone was unintentionally hilarious. The remake actually tried to inject a little more excitement into the story and it worked. Shit it was a better remake than Superman Returns.....
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...is Joss Whedon. Think bout it: he knows fantasy, he knows ensemble casts, he knows action and comedy and epic plots and big villains. And most of all, he's the greatest writer alive at the moment.
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...SUBTEXT?!
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Satan steve is relating bulshit I was told as a kid, I couldnt swim at the beach or see jaws because my parents did (7 fucking years people....)I remember seeing the heart scene in temple of doom in a KIDS picture book 2 days before I saw the movie....WTF. Kids see worse on the news. Get the context sorted and enjoy the ride, kids and all.....did you like the ride comment (Im sooooo clever)
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I liked the first one but there was a lot of room for improvement. I'm glad this is better, however Alexandra's review has me slightly edgy as I never bought into the first one and 'loved' it... Your words about it being edgy horror mix... Come on! Who found POTC scary? Seriously.
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I agree Whedon is awesome being a massive browncoat, but I dont think he is the BEST alive, thats a bit broad a statement. And OF COURSE Pirates wasnt supposed to be scary, but it was supposed to show that the characters were scared, I can buy THAT... the ring was VERY well done, and not scary so much as it was CREEPY.. in a there is a moving finger in a box creepy.
Fernwick -
"This is the film that puts it
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THAT is a much better comparison than Steven Spielberg. There will NEVER be another Spielberg, folks. Putting another filmmaker on that high a pedestal is doing that filmmaker and whatever new and old films he/she has made a serious disservice. Likewise, there will never be another Frank Capra or Alfred Hitchcock or John Ford. As good as the two "Pirates" flicks (yes, I've seen the 2nd one ... a truly fun adventure movie), "The Ring," and even "The Weather Man" are (especially just from a visual standpoint), they don't come close to touching "Jaws," "Close Encounters," "Raiders," "E.T.," and "Schindler's List." The best anyone can hope for if they are aiming for Spielberg heights is to come close to being of the quality of "Jurassic Park," "Minority Report," or the other two "Indiana Jones" movies. Then, the guy goes and pulls off a "Saving Private Ryan," a "Color Purple." Heck, even "Empire of the Sun" and "Catch Me If You Can" are worthy of 10-Best list consideration in their respective years. That said, I always look forward to a Gore Verbinski movie. I know I am going to get top-notch visuals that don't sacrifice character and plot. Now, with "Pirates 2," the guy can add thrilling action to his repertoire.
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I really appreciate that so many reviewers respect this movie enough to not give away the big plot points. And damn, some of these reviews are way positive, I hope it lives up to them. My expectations are high, but I don't think I want anything unrealistic - great action, great Cap'n Jack moments, a story that makes sense, expands the mythology and is reasonably clever, solid FX,and some funny bits from the peripheral characters. Many of those seem like sure things. Anyway, I'm dying to see this and pretty bummed that there are only midnight shows and not 10PM ones as well. Only two movies have cracked 200M this year, could this be the first to 300 (or beyond)? Sure looks like a possibility, there's no strong competition, and audiences are STARVED for a great blockbuster after all the big stuff has been "good but not great" so far. Crossing my fingers.
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Seems like a cool guy... Enjoyed the first pirates... People seem to think this one is going to break records this weekend... Should I get my tickets ahead of time via online or take a chance? o_O
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Buy your tickets early because this one is ridiculously buzzed about, also the 1st one was the sleeper hit of the summer, people aren't sleeping anymore. I expect a fucking 40 million dollar Friday and huge overall weekend for this one. If X3 made a killing and it was garbage, imagine this movie that is actually being well reviewed across the board?
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Is a bastard for making "Scream 3" a stupid dark comedy with bloodless stabbings and unimaginative killings. I think that The Ring was his best work. Not a masterpiece, but a good movie. Visually it's great. And that's because Gore did an outstanding job. Look what happened when Gore left and Hideo stepped in? The Ring Two was a fucking awful movie, and don't get me started on the ridiculous CGI Deer sequence. I turned the fucking movie off right after.
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Also buy your tickets online earlier so that old man won't be sad and so some alien babe with three arms and nice tatas will be your date. Commercials don't lie.
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and I would actually say these movies are turning out the same kind of fun as the back to the future trilogy....
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...but, I thought that "The Weatherman" was excellent. I mean it took me completely by surprise. Dry wit, complex family relationships, adult dialogue, and a solid repeated sight-gag (the milkshake). What wasn't to like? I gave that film 5 stars on Netflix just for the part where he slaps the new husband with his glove. C'mon people.
As for POTC, the only good thing about the first one was Depp. I think they understood that this time around.
Oh and that Garfield pirate ghost reference was mega. -
Seriously. Its not a perfect film but its the perfect film to watch while hung over. But Gore being a "big-time" geek director is nothing new, Massa's prediction is only about 3-4 years late, considering all the projects that got thrown his way after the first PIRATES.
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you think Massawyrm uses just a little too much hyperbole? I'd put POTC in league with Temple of Doom. A good, not great, rollercoaster ride that has enough wit and humour so that the action never becomes boring. I'm looking forward to the sequel. I think the biggest problem with POTC are the "earnest" characters -- Kiera Knightley and The Elf. As the scoudrel Depp is amazing, but Orlando and Kiera can't quite pull off what's supposed to be the emotional center. Look at the scene in Raiders when Indiana is on the ship examining all his bruises. POTC will never have a film that funny and romantic at the same time. Without actors and a script that can pull off that emotional centerpiece POTC will always be good, but not great. I'm crossing my fingers that the new one will make me eat my words. If not, then it'll still be a lot of fun to watch.
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That's a joke right? The guy has made one silly half way decent horror film. One decent black comedy. And one decent Pirate fantasy film, and you call him spielberg. well fuck then lets call Paul WS Anderson Kubrick! Christ the only person that should even be given this title right now is Peter Jackson Granted Kong is the not that greatest film ever but.....LOTR has changed the way films have been made. That to me makes him this generations as long as he keeps pumping out fun ingaging film.
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fast....58% on rottentomatoes
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The Rotten Tomatoes score for Dead Man
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i never believe rotten tomatoes a. because its reviews based on critics and b. look the ranking it gave superman and that was not a very good movie YOU SHOULD CHECK THE USERS REVIEWS they are usually more on par with the public's (obviously) view of the film
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Wow, that's a little alarming. I'm sure it will still be a huge hit. Maybe this is a good thing after the initial over the top raves, my biggest worry at this point is overly high expectations. Shit, is still isn't friday yet?????
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good theory...except USERS on RT gave Superman 85%....
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and Pirates is only getting 72% public thumbs up.....whih movie is the stinker?
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and I trust the general populace even less. Think about how dumb the average person is, and then think about the fact that half of the population is even more dumb than the average person. It's mind boggling. I've noticed that, while critics aren't terribly reliable, the general population is even worse.
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Unless Rotten Tomatoes gives it 100%, it obviously sucks total ass. It'll suck anyway because pirates are so gay. Why do they have to be so gay? Like AVP -- gay. LOTR, SW, any Superman, Batman, or Spiderman movie: G-A-Y. Aw, fuck it: All entertainment made by any advanced culture is gay. The only thing written after cave drawings which don't totally pack fudge are my StarCraft-based fanfics where the entire crew are all the assassins from Hitman and everyone's running around the ship raping and murdering cheerleaders. Oh, and everyone on this site is gay and lame, and so is whatever you like. Fags. Well, off to my pedicure!
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I'm pretty sure I like girls.
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And that's coming from a Star Wars, X Men nut who thought Pirates 1 was just OK.
Man I've just got back from watching this film and I don't know where to start. I certainly wont post any spoilers but I will say the escape scenes from the cannibals are some of the funniest action sequences I;ve ever had the please to enjoy.
Johnny Depp is a fantastic comedy actor. I'm aching to see the third installment and not many films have made me feel this way.
The characters aboard Davey Jones ship are a dream to look at. The designers on board for this film must have had a blast!
Fantastic "what the fuck" twist at the very end too! I could talk about this film for hours now. -
You're off the hook. Who would lie on teh internets? Anyway, I was saying something about lame and gay... oh, yes: Any film ever made! I am FANBOY, hear me squeal!
I kid! I kid my lame, gay friends.... -
Somehow, after seeing the movie last night, I found it was strongly geared toward some marketer's idea of a "core audience" of, basically 9 year old boys and Johnny Depp groupies. It was self-referring to the point of being, basically, a jeuvenile, 2-hour-and-40-minute Disney advertisement for the last "Pirates..." movie. This movie has near to no plot, the cannibalistic natives kept morphing in with every new camera angle until they looked and acted like they were a lost tribe in South America intermarried with the 1933 version of Skull Island natives, with as little attention to any detail, political correctness, and a lot of attention to sophomoric gags and jibberish. There are some incredibly cool special fx and I agree with Harry about making comparisons to Gollum in that respect. This movie, although I'm sure will entertain it's target "focus" audience, has a lot more fluff, less character development and plot than the first movie. At 2 hours and 40 minutes, there is ample room for trims. I'm sure Johnny Depp fans and 9-year-old boys will disagree, as they both cannot get enough screen time for certain elements which are aimed directly at them. The bottom line may be that I find the writing in Dead Man's Chest pretty weak and would like to see a slightly more mature approach to the humor and character development. Above all, I would love to see the filmmakers working hard to do what they love best instead of trying to please focus group audience by rehashing redundant characters, gags and lines intended to appease a niche group that was created by the first movie. You've got great actors, locations, fx and fairly decent direction, all you need is to lose the marketers and make that damn great, fun movie that is lurking in that running time somewhere.
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