Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Review

Harry feels CLERKS II holds the answers to a better life for all!

Today was a fascinating day. Woke up bright and early. Yoko and I had our first appointment to look and consider a possible wedding location. As we each took our showers and got ready, I really couldn’t help, but think how happy I am. Also on the docket today was a screening of CLERKS II, my enthusiasm for the film had piqued a while back… all the reviews I had read were not all that inspired. It seemed Kevin had made a funny, but inconsequential new film. Nothing awful, just not the 2nd cumming.

Suffice to say – CLERKS II wasn’t the big thing for the day. So much so, that it was actually a maybe for me.

We left with just enough time to get to our first locale for the wedding. We got there and it was fantastic. Just stunning. I was being pretty much all business, the details and facts, as was Yoko. The enormous 100lb white pigeon that leapt out of the tree trying to kill me didn’t deter me. The trees and the grass and the wildlife were just perfect. We decided to stay for lunch to sample the food they could cater and it too, was perfect. But it wasn’t till a moment – after the entrée when we heard clapping and laughing from the other room… and the sound bounced its way to our table and it felt, for just a second like we were there 393 days into the future. And it was gloriously emotional. At that moment we became 98% sure that we’d be married at this location.

After the lunch we really wanted to do something – but I was feeling weird, something made me want to come back home. It was like I just had something to do, but I wasn’t aware what. As I got in the house and Yoko was setting out to go do Father’s Day shopping for her Pops – it dawned on me…. Yeah, I do want to see CLERKS II.

So I called up Dad to see if he wanted to take in the latest Kevin Smith film… for some reason, though I absolutely love Dad – I always think he doesn’t like Kevin Smith films… but he’s totally gay for Kevin’s flicks… so of course he wanted to go.

This screening was taking place at the Screening Room at the Austin Studios… to get to it, you have to drive past all the fleets of GRINDHOUSE vehicles. They’re pretty much on night shoots so the activity around the Austin Studios lot was lax.

Let’s skip straight to the film now.

There’s a reason I went into the personal stuff above. I know, I know… save that stuff for the MySpace page, well this is still my site and I still write the way I write – and in this particular film – which has Dante Hicks and Randal Graves at a particularly similar point in their life as me. These characters are 33-34 years old, within the confines of the film. They worked for 10 years at the old store, till one day it burnt down. Then they got a job at MOOBY’S – a fast food restaurant with an internet station for while you wait on your order and the same junk food that… well fast food is known for. Dante is more or less the assistant manager and Randal is the fry and grill cook. And he exhibits some smooth patty flipping skills.

They’re pretty much exactly the same people that they were 10-12 years ago. Still clocking the counter hours away debating the same geeky shit as always… only they’re aging. Their sad dedication to that ancient religion (Star Wars) has paled next to the awesome might of LORD OF THE RINGS – which Randal took as an affront to his own sacred fantasy universe. Randal’s still filthy and Dante is still helplessly listening on in morbid rapt attention… and self-righteous disgust.

However, like many geeks that hit their mid-thirties, there’s a feeling of uselessness… of misguided purpose. They didn’t write the great American screenplay, they didn’t find one eyed Willie’s rich stuff, they didn’t form Wyld Stallions… No – they didn’t do much of anything, so Dante has settled for the girl that’ll rule his life and own his every move. He hadn’t done much with his life, she’s offering a fresh reboot of life in Florida, where they’ll own a house compliments of “Daddy” and they’ll have their own business, “The Car Wash.”

What Kevin has slyly done in his own ass-to-mouth, donkey show kinda way – has crafted his own modern mid-thirties geek retelling of AMERICAN GRAFFITTI. This film is a turning point movie. Set on that day where your old life and your new life are set to split – and it scares friends, one’s self…

The key to this film though doesn’t lay in Brian O’Halloran or Jeff Anderson… nor Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith. The magic of this film lays in Jennifer Schwalbach (Kevin Smith’s wife in reality) and Rosario Dawson. If these two women were an ounce less… you wouldn’t believe it.

Jennifer’s Emma is the adorable, oh so loving and so so soooo strong that she decides everything for Dante – but in a way that feels right… after all… she loves Dante and wouldn’t lead him wrong. She has what she sees as the best for him and her at heart. Get him away from Randal, turn him into the man she wants in her life.

Then there’s Rosario Dawson – this actress is amazing. She has a wanton sexuality about her that flies off the screen. She’s able to project sex, womanhood and one of the guys all at once. Rosario plays “Becky” the manager of MOOBY’S and Dante’s gal pal. The most sublimely beautiful moment in the history of Kevin Smith films takes place with her and Dante on the roof of the Mooby's - Rosario teaching him to dance - by having Jay & Silent Bob boom-boxing "ABC 123". This song is... pure innocent joy. When Michael was black and the age he wanted and still wants to be. The scene that erupts from this was beautiful. Simply beautiful. Great job.

There are points in this film where I was just SCREAMING INSIDE… “Don’t go for Emma! GET BECKY!” You see, Becky has had hard reality. Taking care of an uncle that’s gone through CHEMO – taking the “shit job” at Mooby’s to make end’s meat and feels a captive to something she thought would be a couple of months, but has turned into a significant lifestyle change.

She’s that responsible girl that wants to put on the assless chaps and ride life with a big grin and spurring all the way. She’s also scared of messing things up for others. She doesn’t quite have the confidence, given her own choices, to flat out intrude… but that’s there. In her.

Rosario’s Becky is my fave female character in Kevin’s films thus far. Amy is… of course – fantastic, but that voice always kinda made me twitch. She’s adorable, but I couldn’t see it. Rosario is an amazing on-screen package of womanhood. The girl most geeks dream of.

Now – I know, I know… I’ve gone pretty intense into the relationship and “soap opera-esque” layers of this film. And you’re left wondering… is this funny?

CLERKS II is fucking funny. It also counts. It isn’t an empty bag of laughs, there’s a lot of soul here. Like – Jason Lee’s character. He’s funny, Randal’s back and forth with him is funny… but the scene ultimately has a sting that just underlines everything wrong with Randal’s life. The shit he doesn’t want to look at. After all… a new jack off walked into Mooby’s… his life is worse. Isn’t it?

Ultimately – I feel CLERKS II is a message movie wrapped in filth, pop culture and honest emotional characters. The message is Kevin’s answer to how to live life right. Find what it is you can do that makes you happy each day and make that your own. Surround yourself with people you love, the right woman that fits into that life and makes it worth waking up for each and every day.

I think… for some of the younger of geeks, this will feel like bullshit. The ol’ “Keep on Keeping on” thing. But think about it. Look at Kevin. He’s not that different from most of us. He’s funnier, perhaps the faster wit… and he gets out there and does the shit he dreams of doing. But otherwise… He’s a fucking geek that sits online, looking for disgusting shit to email his friends, reading about shit he’s interested in, watching movies, playing games, buying toys… and making his own toys, having his own comic shop and having the great wife that fits into the dream, the best friend that watches his back every step of the way. He’s there for his friends and his friends are there for him. For me, it's a bit of affirmation.

If you have that in your life, you’re doing pretty goddamn good. Find what you love and who you love to do that with and start working on the dream right now and you’ll find a peace. This movie is pretty goddamn beautiful…. Even if I did see Jay tuck.

Readers Talkback
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  • June 17, 2006, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Not a First Poster

    by Ranson

    I think

  • June 17, 2006, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Screw first! Who will be the lucky bastard at 36?

    by Shermdawg

    That's the number you wanna shoot for in a Kevin Smith talkback. :P

  • June 17, 2006, 12:29 a.m. CST

    ok, ok

    by decfx

    should be a good flick.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:29 a.m. CST

    I like Smith and all..

    by OBSD

    but his "message" movies always ring a bit false to me and fall flat upon repeated viewings. If Harry's right and this is one of those....I just may have to skip it.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Don't forget to book your photographer Harry.

    by Vim Fuego

    Those bastards get booked up quicker than anything. Is Rodriguez shooting the video? That'd be cool.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:34 a.m. CST

    Harry's reviews have turned into therapist sessions

    by Gwai Lo

    Not those warm hug with raspberries on the cheek therapist sessions either..

  • June 17, 2006, 12:37 a.m. CST

    This a review, or an episode of Seinfeld?

    by NeoDevilbaneX

    ... "I walked down the street with my girlfriend, I woke up tired, yadda yadda, saw Clerks II, then yadda yadda"

  • June 17, 2006, 12:38 a.m. CST

    So what's the ratio of B&W footage to the color?

    by NeoDevilbaneX

    What's the final word?

  • June 17, 2006, 12:42 a.m. CST

    Yoko?

    by Forestal

    These strange references to Harry's girlfriend are disturbing.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:48 a.m. CST

    Hey Kev, if you read this...

    by Shermdawg

    And we all know you will. If you ever decide to make a "real" film, (a film more widely accepted with the general movie public) instead of another sapfest like Jersey Girl (your only "bad" movie) how about making a Stan Lee biopic? Cast your pal Jason as Stan, and do it quick-like, because a.Earl's all sorts-a-hot right now, and Mr.Lee ain't gonna be around forever. It would be nice for him to see the finished product, because if you do it right, this thing could get some serious nominations. C'mon dude. Do it. You know the fans would eat that up. The Academy would eat it up, they love that kind of stuff. And most importantly, I got a felling deep down, you would want to do something like this. So at least consider it, cause it would be golden. GOLDEN I SAY!!!

  • June 17, 2006, 12:49 a.m. CST

    Kevin has always made me laugh

    by beastie

    When I was a teenager, I used to idolize him. I used to think that he was the voice of my generation and the generation before me. That over-enthusiasm has long since faded. However, I still laugh at his jokes. His films, books and Q&A sessions may not be the epitomy of art like I once felt they were, but the jokes usually work.

  • June 17, 2006, 1:05 a.m. CST

    UNO?

    by THE KNIGHT

    First? Dos? Thres?

  • June 17, 2006, 1:22 a.m. CST

    I'm with you Shermdawg

    by Shakes

    That's a great idea for a Stan Lee biopic. Excellent idea of casting Lee as the Man too. Back in the late '90's I thought Kevin should have tried doing a movie about the formation of Image Comics.

  • June 17, 2006, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Script Sample Extract.

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Dant

  • June 17, 2006, 1:30 a.m. CST

    Sherm, make it a Stan AND JACK film...

    by Flim Springfield

    I've said for awhile that could be a great film.

  • June 17, 2006, 1:34 a.m. CST

    Great review, Harry

    by Jay Jay

    Looking forward to this one now.

  • June 17, 2006, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Jason Mewes has turned out to be a pretty fine slice of

    by seppukudkurosawa

    man since he stopped zippin the coofoo. Oh and since I didn't say it the first time, this review, like all of your reviews, is no doubt gonna get you a bit of a roasting, but the haters be damned, it was very well done. Err Harry aren't you the guy who said he loved Jeepers Creepers and Godzilla? Just wanted to get that out of the way before someone with a bug the size of Montana up their ass does it for me- thanks for the review big guy.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith

    by VanLingoMungo

    Imagine you're a 14 year old boy, and you masturbate four times a day. Now, imagine you're a 27 year old man, and you masturbate once a day. The same jokes just aren't as funny, and the heroes you worship are 1/4 as good as you thought they were. That's Kevin Smith.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:17 a.m. CST

    "Fucking Funny" now there's an endorsement

    by Monkeybutt2000

    Kevin Smith = Skip it

  • June 17, 2006, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith still doable.

    by Jon E Cin

    Good to know. I'll be checking this out.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:33 a.m. CST

    True that, Van

    by Spacker Dave

    Perhaps if he had the balls to step up and be a film director insted of hiding in his little self-gratifying world then maybe he would still garner the respect I wish he was due. I love Smith's films. There was a time when I would have gladly watched Clerks 2, 3, 4, fucking 28 had I not been told that after Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back there would be no more view-askewniverse movies, it was time to grow up and move on. Okay, fair call. Man cannot be saited by dick and fart jokes alone. But to get all mopey 'cause Jersey Girl turned out to be a turd, turn down the opportunity to direct Green Hornet and then pack up his balls and run back to his proverbial 'well'... Fuck him, guys. Its time to make this tubby bitch grow up for real this time and not perpetuate his 12 year old ego.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Newsflash - Water shortage in Texas!

    by Grando

    After Harry has his yearly shower. In other news cotton shortages were rumoured after his towel was made.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:36 a.m. CST

    Jennifer Schwalbach is too ugly to be in movies

    by MaryTylerMorbid

    Who cares about this movie? Anyone? Hello?

  • June 17, 2006, 2:47 a.m. CST

    Bobo's post continued----

    by seppukudkurosawa

    "And I sure showed those slacker good-for-nothings. I now post on AICN talkbacks".

  • June 17, 2006, 2:59 a.m. CST

    It's a movie for talkbackers?

    by Orionsangels

    You mean Kevin knows the secret to escaping from my parents basement? - I've got to see this movie!!!

  • June 17, 2006, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Ah, but I don't have any of these fancy aspirations

    by seppukudkurosawa

    I realise that this place is my lot in life. One day I'll die slumped over a keyboard, and some irate talkbacker will say: "'ashdoasdh?' What the hell's that supposed to mean? Your game's slacking my friend". My suggestion is this: once you accept that AICN Pwns our souls and that we'll never amount to anything more than a bunch of disembodied voices underneath a series of movie articles, everything just gets easier.

  • June 17, 2006, 3:02 a.m. CST

    what

    by TStreet

    yeaf

  • June 17, 2006, 3:09 a.m. CST

    "Real Director"?

    by TStreet

    I love people saying "He is not a real director". Is there a definition of what a REAL director is? Most likely those that say this have never ever directed a movie in their life. First they wouldn't know how to even go about it, and second they would never have the drive to accomplish such a task. All their energy is spent deciding and commenting on what they feel makes a REAL director. There is more than one genre of movies in this world, and guess what, not every director directs every type of movie. Certain directors make certain types of movies. And not every movie is made for everyone.

  • June 17, 2006, 3:16 a.m. CST

    ......

    by seppukudkurosawa

    How did you find out I'm Johnny Eck's grandson? Does my posting style make it that obvious that I only have half a body? And I thought the Internet was the only place I could go where I'd be equal with the full-bodies roaming outside, but now you just went and stole the ONE thing I had. Thank you very much Bobo, you just ruined a man's life today. ;-)

  • June 17, 2006, 4:02 a.m. CST

    So...much...clogging

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Read the line, "As we each took our showers," take a look at Harry's photo from the Nacho Libre review, and tell me you aren't having visions of the next Steven King novel.

  • June 17, 2006, 4:10 a.m. CST

    For you statistics geeks

    by BannedOnTheRun

    The sentence "Let

  • June 17, 2006, 4:28 a.m. CST

    Harry's Wedding Video

    by skynetbauxi

    hey Harry, if you'd like a total geek and not-entirely-untalented young "filmmaker" to do your wedding video (or maybe even a crazy little wedding movie), let me know! you can check out some of the clips I've created for work (http://www.avi-film.com/sites/download.htm) and for star-wars-geeky fun (http://starwars.avi-film.com/sites/videos.htm) and even for an AICN contest (http://stopmotion.avi-film.com) online. also, nice review, looking forward to that movie! Tom

  • June 17, 2006, 4:45 a.m. CST

    I'm 37!?

    by Jan Itor

  • June 17, 2006, 4:45 a.m. CST

    "Making end's meat"...

    by LlGHTST0RMER

    ...perhaps the funniest typo in the history of funny typos. Although I still like "a boy's gotta have herpes." (Did'ja ever notice how close the O and the P on a keyboard are?)

  • June 17, 2006, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Hey, Screw you, Knowles.

    by LlGHTST0RMER

    Of course, I only say that because I turn 30 next week and I never did direct the amazing movie that would make me the world's next huge cinematic wunderkind. So... sorry for the outburst, Harry. But Goddamn it all anyway, you know?

  • June 17, 2006, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Actually, Harry, you've made me want to see it less...

    by LlGHTST0RMER

    ...for the same reasons that made you love it. Just thinking about Dante and Randal coming to terms with the passing of time and the overall futility of their aimless youth kind of makes me... I dunno... miss the 90's. Things seemed a lot more *possible* back then. Even though there was already a lot to be jaded about, it still felt like big things were on the horizon. Or at least if nothing else, it sure felt like movies were better then. And now we have a movie where two notable caricatures of youth from that era have to learn to deal with the everyday tedium of having grown up and realizing the most vital portion of their youth has expired... Jesus. What a downer. And yeah, yeah... I'm reading way too much into it. It's Clerks II, fer Chrissakes. But man... I just don't want to see Dante mourn his youth any more that I want to mourn my own. In a related story... Fuck. I can't believe I'm turning 30.

  • June 17, 2006, 6:15 a.m. CST

    by foreignerbelt

    I'd like to believe that "end's meat" was deliberate. Also, Harry, nice job. A good review and a good point there at the beginning- it is, after all, your goddamn site. don't ever fucking stop. p.s. you're fat.

  • June 17, 2006, 6:59 a.m. CST

    Is this all Gen-X has to show?

    by Damer1

    I'm ashamed to be a mid-thirties Gen-X'er and having an no talent ass clown like Kevin Smith speaking for my generation.

  • June 17, 2006, 7:17 a.m. CST

    What movie mack MEANT to type was...

    by DocPazuzu

    ..."what is this 'woman' of which you speak?" No wonder it was all gobbledigook to him.

  • June 17, 2006, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Simple review

    by royny2387

    I saw the film a few weeks ago. Harry's right about the emotional part, he's very right about Rosario Dawson, and he's right about the funny. The film is a riot, one of the best I've seen this year and definitely one of the funniest I've seen in three to five years. It stands alone (even though it is a sequel), but having a knowledge of the View Askewniverse never hurts. Call me a plant. I don't care. I know the truth. And the truth is, this is the rare comedy with heart, soul, and plenty of legitimate, unforced laughs. Bravo Kevin. This is one of your best films.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Clerks II vs Click

    by PervOmatic

    Sandler and Smith battle it out in the cinema to see who can claim the title of "World's Greatest Hack". Thirteen year-olds and virgin internet geeks will tear this nation apart I tell yah.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Sounds good

    by stvnhthr

    I'll give it a try. Even when Kevin only makes a base hit it is enjoyable to watch. This sounds like maybe anouther homerun. Oh, and continuing the pre-marriage advice: Start the premarriage counseling early! like at least 6 months out. Too many people plan for a wedding and forget that is only for one day; what they need to plan for is the MARRIAGE, that's for life! Things don't just work because you are in love, it takes planning-which would be cool to see Hollywood make into a movie instead of the same old boy-must-find-the-perfect-girl-and-then it-all-magically-works-out flick.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Hey Harry ol' buddy ol' pal.

    by Bodhizattwa

    Nice review. I don't even need to watch the movie now. I don't mind the spoilers, cause your review was probably better than the film itself. You rock my boat.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Even by Harry's standards...

    by Cash Bailey

    ...that 'review' was a complete cluster-fuck.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Loved the trailer

    by moviemaniac-7

    That moment where Randall looks on as the other two guys quote LOTR... Brilliance! What part is Jason Lee in? Hopefully Brody.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Can't believe you didn't mention Elias

    by RenoNevada2000

    Funny kid. PIllow pants.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Can someone explain this to me?

    by Bazka Berzerker

    How a mid-30's Star Wars nerd who hasn't done a thing in his life gets to choose between Jennifer Schwalbach and Rosario "sexbomb goddess" Dawson. Doesn't that sound a bit... Unrealistic? I would like the concept more if Dante was choosing between normal women who are realistically in his reach. Kinda kills the realism.

  • June 17, 2006, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Jason Mewes is the MAN now that he is clean!!!

    by OGREISHERE

    I have been reading Kevin's blogs about Jason's 10 year struggle to get and stay clean of the junk. I have'nt been more moved by anything in a long long time. You guys should check it out. http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20060328 Anyway I could'nt be more proud of you man.

  • June 17, 2006, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Harry is so in love - isn't it beautiful?

    by Cedar_Room

    no - the thought makes me retch. Stick to watching films and wanking over a Bryan Singer photo you ginger ape.

  • June 17, 2006, 10:12 a.m. CST

    I thought Jay and Silent Bob were retired,

    by indiephantom

  • June 17, 2006, 10:27 a.m. CST

    i love Smith but i'm not going to waste time with this

    by oscarmike

    2 hours of hearing people talk about pop culture isn't exactly my cup of tea

  • June 17, 2006, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Meh...

    by LeiaDown&FuckHer

    It's basically the potty mouthed bastard love child of Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl with a Clerks dressing, and proves, once and for all (to me at least) that not only isn't Smith's career going anywhere, it's hard stuck in fucking reverse. Yeah, there's the odd funny scene or line, there's some fun moments, but it's all so pre-packaged and deliberate and cloying that I think only the hardcore Smithites are going to be really into this one. For most other people, it's just same shit, different day. It's a passable watch through, but it's nowhere near being an out and out good film. I also think it's a damn shame that Smith steadfastly refuses to have the balls to push himself as a director, writer or film maker in general, sure he might fall flat on his face if he stepped out of his comfort zone, but then again he might not too. Doubt we'll ever know. I mean sure, the guy has thus far shown practically zero talent from a visual or stylistic standpoint, he's just a point n' shooter, but maybe if he took some risks he could turn that around and actually grow as a film-maker rather than just continue to stagnate, or worse still, rot. I think he might actually have it in him if he gave it a shot, but he just seems too damn lazy (or scared) to try. My opinion anyway.

  • June 17, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Harry, take my advice...

    by ejcarter9

    ... forget a photographer. Seriously. Photographers take all the fun out of the wedding day. If photos are a necessity, though, do the disposable camera thing for all your friends and family.

  • June 17, 2006, 10:57 a.m. CST

    moviemack

    by DocPazuzu

    Sorry, but this whole "twunt" thing is doing about as much business as "generation dumbass".

  • June 17, 2006, 11:04 a.m. CST

    I look forward to it as well.

    by Doom II

    Of course, I am a fan, but not a blind one. I don't like Dogma much at all and Jersey Girl was "alright" fow what it was. I prefer Smith with NO budget, directing dialogue between characters. That's what he excells at.

  • June 17, 2006, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Moviemack...

    by IamNumber1

    I just wanted to say that Batman Begins sucked nuts. I hated it. All they fucking did was talk and fight with a shaky cam while hiding british accents. And I can't even remember what they talked or fought about!! Back on topic, I'll check out clerks 2 when it comes out.

  • June 17, 2006, 11:14 a.m. CST

    My pidgeon assassin failed me

    by Bob of the Shire

    Back to the drawing board.

  • June 17, 2006, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Clerks II: Dante gets P.W.'d

    by Doom II

    It's funny how guys have a blast together, but as soon as they get get hooked up or married, there friends take a MAJOR backseat. Then the relasionship eventually ends and they want to hang out with their buddies again. I am married and I also hang out with my friends as often as possible. WITHOUT my wife. For all you pussy-whipped guys out there remember...Statistically you will be single again someday. Don't fuck over your true friends for a girl!

  • June 17, 2006, 11:37 a.m. CST

    From one uber-geek to another...

    by sith-vol

    ...I am a thirty something uber geek with two kids who works at a fast food joint to pay my bills and has pretty much never done much with mys life either. I don't think I need a movie to remind me of my pathetic life. Pass.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Smith and Stan Lee

    by barrhead

    Hmmm...Interesting idea. I think it would work if you treated the Marvel story like a comedy--buying into the mythology of the Bullpen and all that stuff. I'd be a little concerned that Smith might not be able to write dialogue suitable for the early '60s, however. His writing style is pretty distinctive. I like Jason Lee for Stan Lee--I'd be a little worried about whether he could turn down the smarm enough, however. Frankly, I think Michael Chabon would kick ass at doing a 'serious' movie about early Marvel. Knows and resepcts comics and comics history, has done movie work before and won a bloody Pulitzer for Kavalier and Clay. I think there's an interesting story behind Marvel's history--maybe not as romantic as some people would like it to be, but interesting anyways.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Harry, at first, i was happy for your happiness...

    by future help

    but then, you just came all over it.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Yeah Harry, what about Elias?

    by slone13

    That character has got to be one of the best additions to the Viewaskewniverse ever. 'Pillow pants' is legendary.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    I just don't care

    by Blink316E

    Harry stop talking about your life. GET TO THE FUCKING MOVIE! If you can't help it copy/paste pieces of your life story to another word processer and release it later into a book about your life so I don't have to buy it and read about your fucking life because I DON'T CARE! And don't say "That's the way I write." Remember people read this bullshit.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Harry DID release a book about his life...

    by seppukudkurosawa

    and heavy-pimped it on the main page for about 3 years.

  • June 17, 2006, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Harry's fallen for his live-in nurse.

    by Nate Champion

    How else can you explain why a 20-year-old girl would spend her life taking care of an 800 pound immobile hunk of sweaty man-crunk?

  • June 17, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Are there any pictures of Yoko?

    by battery

    I hear she's breaking up Ain't-it-Cool.

  • June 17, 2006, 2:35 p.m. CST

    "Amy is

    by Sworn42Enemy

    Joey Lauren Adams was Alyssa..Amy was the chick Silent Bob dumped. Good one Knowles

  • June 17, 2006, 4:38 p.m. CST

    What was the first Clerks about?

    by godhatesyou

    And what is a Clerk?

  • June 17, 2006, 4:40 p.m. CST

    I Love Harry, But I Can't Take This Seriously Any More.

    by heywood jablomie

    I can get with his pans, but Harry has written SO MUCH praise for so many movies that fall somewhere between so-so and bloody godawful (I'll never forget his "BLOW is better than GOODFELLAS!" review) that it just goes in one ear and out the other. CLERKS 2 may be just fine, but gimme a break--I seriously doubt it's all this great.

  • June 17, 2006, 4:43 p.m. CST

    "Twunt"?

    by BayouWilly

    "Generation Dumbass"? Fuck Kevin Smith... I want to see moviemack's statement on the youth of today! Someone drive down to the Arby's in Kansas, then drop that genius off at The Weinstein Company in Hollywood and tell that future Scorcese to get a-crackin'!

  • June 17, 2006, 4:45 p.m. CST

    My girlfriend says its a new Waynes World...

    by godhatesyou

    But not as popular.

  • June 17, 2006, 4:47 p.m. CST

    I think it sounds really good.

    by godhatesyou

    NOT!!!!

  • June 17, 2006, 5:03 p.m. CST

    So, big Spider-man news...

    by Son of Batman

    in Civil War #2 and not even a mention on AICN? So lame.

  • June 17, 2006, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Harry's MySpace

    by topaz4206

    What is it? I wanna see this Korean girl!

  • June 17, 2006, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Try this ultra-super-secret URL

    by BannedOnTheRun

    http://www.myspace.com/aintitcool

  • June 17, 2006, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith needs something bad to happen to him

    by fiester

    That's his problem: his life's been too charmed, too happy. The guy needs some misery and struggle to give his stuff an edge. He is teetering on Robin Williamsville himself with his constant and sickeningly overweening sentimentality. Sure, he throws in a fart and dick joke every now and again, but it's quaint. Everyone knows the best comedians are miserably fucks. There's a reason for that. Comedy comes from pain and struggle, not a charmed life where everything goes your way.

  • June 17, 2006, 7:58 p.m. CST

    I highly doubt everything goes Kevins way....

    by Jon E Cin

    Have you seen Jersey Girl? You think that was part of his "charmed life"?

  • June 17, 2006, 8:26 p.m. CST

    zzzzzzzzzzzzz........

    by chickychow

    thats my reaction to pretty much every Harry review. then why do I keep reading? Guess the same reason i watch Saved By the Bell whenever its on.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:30 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith's charmed life?!?!

    by chickychow

    Depends on your definition of the word I guess. Sure he's "charmed" because we all know his name and he's pretty lucky his house hasn't been torched by disgruntled fans, but he makes shitty movies pretty consistently. What he needs is... oh I dunno, SKILL. or TALENT. Something along those lines.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:55 p.m. CST

    fiester

    by shutterghost

    Pick up a bio of Robin Williams sometime. Hardly a charmed life. Williams seems to have made peace with his demons, but they're still there. I don't think having a fucked up life makes you funny. Also we aren't privy to whatever skeletons Smith has lurking in his closet. Wishing doom on someone so you can laugh a little more seems pretty harsh.

  • June 17, 2006, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Wow, I just tried Harry's MySpace and...

    by Shermdawg

    it messed up my browser sumthin fierce, I had to "end task" that sucker. I dare not venture back, Ma-ma-ma-mamma says MySpace is "THE DEBIL"!

  • June 17, 2006, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Thanks Banned (And: Yoko)

    by topaz4206

    Thanks for the URL Banned. Yoko is cute Harry! Congrats man. BTW, 80 MILLION friends? How does something like that happen?

  • June 17, 2006, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Harry has a girlfriend?!?!?!?!?!

    by StrangeCo

    Wow. Who knew? (LONG BEAT) Except, of course, anyone who's ever ventured remotely near any post Harry has made in a long, long, long, long, long, long time. (Hey, I'm sure that's... SOMEBODY.) Congrats, Harry. Keep up the, uh, uh, good work. (Now, who seriously wants to debate whether or not the world is coming to an end?)

  • June 17, 2006, 11:53 p.m. CST

    "I still write the way I write..."

    by StrangeCo

    I.e., "without editing?" Still luvin' ya, Harry!

  • June 18, 2006, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Wait....

    by StrangeCo

    Harry's marrying a GIRL? Of our SPECIES? Say it ain't so, Sam!

  • June 18, 2006, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Gandalf The Grey

    by StrangeCo

    I only post here so that someone will ask me why I post here. Thanks, dude, I appreciate your making my posting mean something.

  • June 18, 2006, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Harry's settling for the girl...

    by ZeroCorpse

    Because the original King Kong model turned him down... But if it weren't in Peter Jackson's private stash, you know Harry would have slapped a dress on it and took it to the justice o'the peace.

  • June 18, 2006, 3:45 a.m. CST

    Sorry Harry

    by VanLingoMungo

    Kevin isn't smarter...He doesn't have a quicker wit...He just made a movie on credit when most of us couldn't. I can think of a hundred jokes my friends and I have made that eclipse his work. We were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes when he was dropping dick and fart jokes. Our Star Wars commentaries were far deeper than his "Death Star/Contractor" missives. While some of us went on to become teachers and PhD's, he went on to direct Jersey Girl. I never sold a screenplay, but I never sold my soul, either.

  • June 18, 2006, 3:59 a.m. CST

    "my fave"

    by Traumnovelle

    Harry. Don't write like that.. please.

  • June 18, 2006, 5:58 a.m. CST

    "Let

    by newc0253

    ah harry, if only you could write that more often.

  • June 18, 2006, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Pssst... Harry... there was no "Amy"

    by Razorback

    The Amy, in Chasing Amy, was on off-screen character... you silly monkey.

  • June 18, 2006, 10:46 a.m. CST

    "make ends meat"

    by samsquanch

    fucking hell.

  • June 18, 2006, 11:28 a.m. CST

    "We were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes": You kill me.

    by HappyHamster

    Some of you fanboys just need to give it up. Stop hating on Smith and inventing reasons he's worth tens of millions of dollars and you're not. It's your right to not like his films, but all the personal attacks just makes you guys look silly. Yes VinLingoMungo, I'm sure the reason you're not a multi-multi millionaire is because you "never sold your soul". Yep, that's it.

  • June 18, 2006, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Me and my friends were dropping

    by OurManInMontr

    Chernobyl Meltdown Anniversary jokes when you were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes. Isn't that special?

  • June 18, 2006, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Harry digs Kevin cause they're both fat-fuck blowhards

    by VatoLoco

    'nuff said.

  • June 18, 2006, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Jersey Girl 2

    by gorydon

    We can only dream.

  • June 18, 2006, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Too soon

    by Wazoo

    Dante and Randal shouldn't have been brought back until they reached 50, then we could really see how pathetic their lives are. (BTW, great idea on the Stan Lee biopic, even if only for like SciFi or FX.)

  • June 18, 2006, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Everytime Harry talks about his gf,

    by blackwood

    I see Leia strapped to Jabba. But, in a good way. Like, the in between takes when they were all sweet nothings and positive ooze. Uh. Good review. Sort of what I expected from it.

  • June 18, 2006, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Mind you, VatoLoco is a fat fuck blowhard

    by Razorback

    It is true.

  • June 18, 2006, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Wow, VanLingoMungo

    by BayouWilly

    That has to be in the top five pretentious statements I've ever seen on here. That's saying a helluva lot. I don't understand people's bitterness towards other people's success in movies. Make one yourself! It's not fucking rocket science. Look at Clerks, El Mariachi, and the Blair Witch. They look like shit! Their directors are millionaires! If you want it badly enough, you will sack up and back up your shit-talking.

  • June 18, 2006, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Harry-marriage is an outdated concept

    by beamish13

    Save your money. Be secure enough in your relationship with Yoko to realize that the two of you do not need a slip of paper and rings to prove that you love one another. Besides, if you cohabitate one another and continue to live in the U.S., you'll receive all of the legal benefits enjoyed by married couples

  • June 18, 2006, 7:39 p.m. CST

    I want to see Clerks 2...

    by isildur29

    I think it looks like alot of fun and will make me laugh. Which I am assuming is why Kevin SMith makes movies... so people can enjoy them however they want (the money is probably nice too) but why why why does the dude get so much hate on this site? He IS what half these TB'rs wish they could be. A nerd who makes movies with nerdy fanboy jokes. Deal with it. Since I know you will read this and most likely respond and talk shit to the TB I would like to say thanks for giving us a comedy to see this summer.

  • June 18, 2006, 7:50 p.m. CST

    sounds like Harry found the horse.

    by durhay

  • June 18, 2006, 8:27 p.m. CST

    dogma and strike back sucked bad

    by reckni

    Haven't seen Jersey Girl, hope this one will be a return to form for Kevin Smith. He's a gifted filmmaker, but I don't think his talent has been truly realized.

  • June 18, 2006, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Let

    by MrCere

    I wish the subject line of my post was the first line of the review. I am Happy for Harry, really, and sincerely wish him lots of joy in married life - cuse its hard as hell - but I don't really wanna read about it.

  • June 18, 2006, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Her name wasn't Am it was Alyssa Jones

    by Platious.com

    Remember?

  • June 18, 2006, 10:24 p.m. CST

    "Amy" type-o

    by Platious.com

  • June 18, 2006, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Is Yoko going to split up AICN as she did the Beatles?

    by Marnamin

    Please say it ain't so

  • June 19, 2006, 8:10 a.m. CST

    who would have thought

    by ZO

    harry would kiss kevin smiths tush??? no way!

  • June 19, 2006, 10 a.m. CST

    beamish13 is right, Harry

    by BayouWilly

    Why buy the cow when you can get your nuts sucked for free? That's what I say. But seriously, pre-nup, man, pre-nup.

  • June 19, 2006, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Ha! I'm getting married in just over a month...

    by brycemonkey

    good news is that she's really rich so I don't want a pre-nup. I'm going to milk the cow. Cash Cow that is! Giggity Digitty-Do!

  • June 19, 2006, 10:18 a.m. CST

    If these two women were an ounce less

    by rev_skarekroe

    An ounce less what? What are you talking about?

  • June 19, 2006, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Marriage is outdated?

    by Kid Joker

    You make it seem like a fashion rather than something that means a lot to people. You're a dickhead. And to all the haters saying Smith's a sellout, you guys are a bunch of contradicting assholes. If he made Clerks 2 the way you guys think you would've prefferred, you would've hated that to. At least he's moving you guys just havem't grown up. The sad thing is you sound like 14 year olds in text but you're all 30 odd years old or so.

  • June 19, 2006, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Rosario's Titties....

    by McTitties

    Are Works Of Art. I want to become friends with them both.

  • June 19, 2006, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Interesting take on Jersey Girl

    by Falcon5768

    You know, I watched it for the first time 2 weeks ago and I have to say, as bad as I was expecting it, looking at it, and looking at my own situation in life, I have to say that movie hit me like a ton of bricks. I didnt quite have a kid, but I did have a major lifestyle change that took me out of working in something I used to love, and stuck me doing something that I enjoyed, but not as much as I had. For a long time I tried to grab at what I used to have, the girl who I loved (who happens to be a lesbian now after 2 more failed relationships after me) working back at a big company and having a band instead of working in a schoolsystem. Not making nearly the money i could have. But watching the movie I took to heart the whole be the who you are now, not the what you where moral. I honestly think in 5-10 years once the whole J-lo Ben bullshit that clouded the whole movie is a distant memory and people watch it in new light, it will become one of Kevins most memorable and heart touching movies. One question I have to ask Kevin, my buddy Kevin (Big Kev from O&A/ writer for ToyFair) was a extra on the movie, did his scene ever make it in because I must have missed it.

  • June 19, 2006, 2:04 p.m. CST

    McTitties

    by BayouWilly

    Why did that name and that post make me laugh? Sometimes it's the simple things in life...

  • June 19, 2006, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Bring forth

    by Decker71

    the bashing of King Geek by his minions of lesser geeks

  • June 19, 2006, 3:17 p.m. CST

    by Decker71

    Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that your bag. Big fuckin deal the world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?

  • June 19, 2006, 3:19 p.m. CST

    by Decker71

    Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that aren't your bag. Big fuckin' deal! The world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?

  • June 19, 2006, 3:20 p.m. CST

    by Decker71

    Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that aren't your bag. Big fuckin' deal! The world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?

  • June 19, 2006, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Nup

    by Decker71

    Congrats Harry

  • June 19, 2006, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Nice work Decker71

    by rev_skarekroe

    Real slick posting job there.

  • June 19, 2006, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Alternative View on Harryspeak

    by Archive

    Seems to me Harry writes a review like he might tell a story if we were sitting with him in in his kitchen. To a degree, he probably thinks of this site as his virtual kitchen, and I for one am glad to be welcome here. I like the personalities, I like the discussion, and as I get my film game on, Harry, Moriarty, and Quint will be among those welcome in MY KITCHEN. They treat every film like it's got something to offer, and they treat every person like a friend. That's why they continue to get exclusive interviews. That's why they get set visits. THEY MAKE THE PROCESS FUN FOR EVERYONE, FILMMAKERS INCLUDED. They remind us of why we love movies, even when they offer criticism. It's enriching, unique, and a hell of a lot more enjoyable than reading Ebert - often with the same degree of depth in critique, or more. It's his gift for fascilitating and guiding impassioned discussion that Harry brings to the table as he learns to produce feature films. We don't do Harry any favors by reading his reviews - he does us a favor by writing them. We're guests in his home. If everyone here considered that, we'd have an internet utopia on our hands.

  • June 19, 2006, 7 p.m. CST

    I Feel Sorry For Kevin Smith

    by ZombieSolutions

    ya gotta love the guy for being a lucky schlub who did good with the meagre talents he had; it was a good run, and he did really incredibly well for himself, made some really fun and funny movies... but now? man, oh man, has that ship sailed. nobody can deny that he was a cool dude, though, and a guy who made some really funny movies with much love for the geeks. anyone who shits on that is being a jerk. poor some malt on the curb for a fallen homie...

  • June 19, 2006, 7:44 p.m. CST

    I know it said "Lets skip to the review now"

    by Novaman5000

    But I don't think you actually got to the movie for a few paragraphs after that. No hard feelings, though.

  • June 19, 2006, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Is it really such a big deal?

    by BayouWilly

    So Harry likes to tell stories? Who gives a fuck? He's folksy. That's why people come here. Honestly, can we come up with something better to bitch about?

  • June 20, 2006, 3:04 a.m. CST

    Dios Mio,

    by VanLingoMungo

    I haven't been called pretentious this much since my crew team and tennis club were sanctioned for banning Catholics...All joking aside...Seriously kids, you cannot try to claim that this guy is some kind of "voice of a generation". I have nothing against the guy, but if you think he's some sort of comedy genius, you really need to read some Woody Allen, Peter Straub, or Erma Bombeck. I mean, if this is the guy that you want to speak for your generation...

  • June 20, 2006, 7:23 a.m. CST

    "kevin smith needs something bad to happen to him."

    by misnomer

    ....wow!!! do any of you ever happen to read back what you actually write? ouch!-all that bitterness just seeps out the cracks in the woodwork hmm? heeheehee : P

  • June 20, 2006, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Gus Van Rant = funny bastard

    by The Atomic Worm

    Though I still like Smith. Also, keepcoolbutcare is a sack of shit.

  • June 20, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST

    I like Kevin Smith

    by Engineer_at_peac

    I actually kind of like the man more than his films proper, though I enjoy his films as well. There are a lot of people that are way overcritical of his work, and a lot of people who are way undercritical. Clerks 2 looks like a nice film that I will enjoy a lot. The only problem is I'm guessing it will be a limited release which means it won't be anywhere near Alabama, so I'll have to wait for a DVD release.

  • June 20, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Ignore the above post

    by Chief Redcock

    It's my damn roommate again

  • June 20, 2006, 11 a.m. CST

    I meant The Atomic Worm's post

    by Chief Redcock

  • June 20, 2006, 11:41 a.m. CST

    You guys are pathetic

    by Lucidz

    Really.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Mmmm...end's meat.

    by Childe Roland

    You know, I hear if you order that with head cheese from the Arby's in Kansas, moviemack will give you some extra "special sauce" on the side. As for Smith, I do feel a bit sorry for him. He's got some fantastic ideas, most of them revolving around theoretical conversations between eerily like-minded individuals, but there are really only so many showcases for that sort of thing (I still say the board room sequence in Dogma is one of the best scripted, most dramtically tense and simultaneously hilarious scenes in movie history...right up there with the Hopper/Walken exchange in True Romance). The sad fact for Kevin is/was that Clerks was as good as it was ever going to get for a film maker like him. The concept, the execution and the actors in the places they were at the time, were all a case of the stars aligning pretty much perfectly to give Kevin an ideal vehicle for the kind of story he wanted to tell. Trouble was, it wouldn't ever get that good again. So I guess I'm not surprised he's gone back to those characters, but you take them out of that convenience store and they become different people. I don't know if Smith can handle that. I will rent it to see, though.

  • June 20, 2006, 3:25 p.m. CST

    McTitties is right,

    by savage_henry

    Rosario Dawson has unbelieveable tits, I'd call them the best boobies in Hollywood. That is the most significant statement on this board.

  • June 20, 2006, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland

    by BayouWilly

    I'm buying you a beer, because I believe you're the first person to mention a post of mine. Congrats on the ego-boost, me. Uh-oh, one dude buying another dude a beer...moviemack will think I'm a gay! That's right... a gay!

  • June 21, 2006, 6:26 a.m. CST

    "Let

    by Trazadone

    I wish Harry would start every review with this line. Wedding planning? Too much information.

  • June 21, 2006, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Look at Kevin. He

    by www.valiens.com

    No shit, Harry. And he's been living on THAT borrowed time for about a decade now. Now that "Clerks II" is out of the way, let's see him challenge himself and NOT be like the rest of us. Make the fucking "Hunt For Red October" already! (Kidding. Make it better is what I meant.)

  • June 21, 2006, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Admittedly, jayjew

    by BayouWilly

    Not everything Smith does is gold. I find Dogma hard to watch, and after the first viewing of JSBSB, I will never watch it again... but in his defense, Clerks was awesome, the cartoon was awesome, and Seth MacFarlane does suck. After South Park, I can't even watch Family Guy without mentally counting up the "You think that's bad? What about the time (blank)" moments.

  • June 21, 2006, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Oh PLEASE!

    by Fudgemonkey

    It is common knowledge that the only reason all you angst-ridden, basement bound, troglodyte talkbackers keep on ranting against Kevin Smith is because in JASBSB he outed you all as whiny pussies who do nothing more than sit writing on sites like this while spraying your bellies with sticky white love-piss at you own jokes because you have nothing better to do with your lives.....like me. ps Dogma was the most intellegent religious commentary since the Life of Brian and is by far Smiths best work. Lick My Gospel!

  • June 21, 2006, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Sobs

    by Weapon M

    I think I need to call my mom and tell her I love her! ~wipes a tear from his eye~ Seriously, Kevin is funny. This movie should be funny. Me and some friends did a old black and white comedy movie, no we didnt we talked about it and then didnt do it..I'm a loser.

  • June 22, 2006, 7:03 a.m. CST

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuADFpwOYH4

    by bipple

    time to piss off folks VIDEOCOLLAGESTYLE

  • June 22, 2006, 9 p.m. CST

    For what it's worth ...

    by Itchy

    Kevin Smith sat in for an hour with Drew & Mike (the Detroit area local morning duo, who are great btw). He was freaking hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I've always been on the fence about Kevin Smith and his films, but his interview today guaranteed himself a couple ticket sales from me at least. Say what you want about the guy, but he's pretty up front and he loves what he's doing.

  • June 23, 2006, 7:17 a.m. CST

    how long have you got Harry?

    by Darth Hogan

    why bother with this wedding Harry, that body you inhabit does not have long left in it, your heart must nearly be a breaking point trying to pump blood these days. I'd start figuring out the funeral details, you won't make the wedding.

  • June 27, 2006, 8:53 a.m. CST

    guess its..

    by TimMighty

    ..peanut butter jelly time !

  • July 5, 2006, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Clerks 2 Sucked!

    by crushi26

  • July 5, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Clerks 2 Sucked Bad

    by crushi26

    Clerks 2 was the worst movie I've seen this summer. It wasn't funny. It wasn't written well. I don't think it was even written. It was shit. I loved KS's other movies. All of them. I've seen all his movies multiple times. This one sucked dick... Jay wasn't funny, the movie wasn't funny. It sucked. Don't believe the hype Harry is spewing because he's in the biz now. It sucked.

  • July 5, 2006, 8:39 p.m. CST

    Funny as shit, what movie did you see crushi?

    by sternumman

    Saw the movie 2 weeks ago and thought it was funny as shit, vulgur and dirty, suprised that smith wast required to make any cuts to keep an R rating. if you like dick and fart jokes and some ass to mouth this is the movie for you this summer

  • July 6, 2006, 3:01 p.m. CST

    I was hoping that Smith would get back on track...

    by stonehenge

    after all, besides the original Clerks and parts of Chasing Amy, maybe snippets of Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (which felt smug and self congratulatory to me) he hasn't really nailed the bullseye for quite some time.

  • July 18, 2006, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Smith full of Smith.

    by cobb

    I've been a big fan of Smiths films, and upon hearing rumors about there being a Clerks II in the making I couldn't help but getting excited about it. Now, I have not yet seen this film (seeing as it hasn't opened in the backwaters of northern Sweden yet - and seeing as I don't download movies off the internet) but somewhere between me hearing about Clerks II and there actually being a Clerks II in the theatres...something happened. What, you may ask. I'll tell you what, I found the double-disc "An evening with Kevin Smith" at my favourite dvdshop and I bought it and viewed it. That's what happened. Sure, Kevin was funny as hell most of the time, but there were instances of a different Kevin Smith. A smallminded, corporate-greedy bastard, who tormented people who hadn't paid to see his films (like if you've seen it at a press-release - Bark! Bark! Sick'im, Kevin! Sick balls!) and who would probably sell his own pubic hair on viewaskew if he thought anybody would buy it. Word to the wise, Mr.Smith, it's still shameless selfpromotion, even if you decide to flat out call it that. I doubt I'll enjoy Clerks II as much as I have enjoyed Smiths other films... And after seeing the real(?) Smith doing his schtick on-stage, trying to get more money out of the people who already gave him everything (his fans), I don't think I'll ever enjoy any of his other 5 films - at least not as much as I have done in the past.

  • July 23, 2006, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Smith is...

    by Rock Harders

    The kinda filmmaker who can write snappy dialogue but doesn't know how to tell a story. Or at least it doesn't seem that important to him.

  • July 26, 2006, 10:04 a.m. CST

    cobb = good call

    by DeathShrike

    I've been waiting for someone to articulate my growing dislike of Kevin Smith, and cobb nailed it. It was really An Evening With Kevin Smith that I first noticed the descent into self-fellation. It's become nigh impossible to enjoy his films anymore, even the ones I absolutely adored. www.theatrox.com

  • July 26, 2006, 1:59 p.m. CST

    WTF? Clerks2 made me cry like a bitch

    by Orionsangels

    I didn't expect that. I so relate to this movie on every level. So yeah i liked it, but i didn't expect to get so emotional about it.

  • July 27, 2006, 3 a.m. CST

    Pillow Pants

    by the_pissboy1

    That's all that needs to be said about Clerks II. That bit was so much funnier than anything he's put in a movie...until Porch Monkey 4 Life showed up.

  • July 28, 2006, 7:15 p.m. CST

    **PUBLIC SERVICE NOTICE**

    by Lord Kinbote

    Clerks II has neither vampires NOR werewolves. Or does it? OR. DOES. IT?

  • Aug. 3, 2006, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Only you Harry.

    by purple-toupay

    Jesus, Harry. Only a complete poser fuckwit like you could screw up the line "your sad _devotion_ to that ancient religion". That's grounds for your long overdue dismissal from this dismal site.

  • May 1, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    first?

    by eric haislar

    How is this talkback empty?