Movie News

AICN COMICS REVIEWS MODERN MASTERS: JOHN BYRNE! WONDER WOMAN! THE WALKING DEAD! AND MORE!!!

Published at: June 14, 2006, 3:43 p.m. CST

#6 06/07/06 #5

The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)

WONDER WOMAN #1
THE WALKING DEAD #28
LAST PLANET STANDING Issues 1-3
MANIFEST ETERNITY #1
JSA #86
MODERN MASTERS VOLUME 7: JOHN BYRNE
Indie Jones presents…
CHEAP SHOTS!

WONDER WOMAN #1

Writer: Allan Heinberg
Artists: Terry &Rachel Dodson
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger

"My name is Donna Troy...and I'm the new Wonder Woman."
WONDER WOMAN #1

Ok. It's a slow path toward redemption for DC, who came very close to completely losing me as a consumer after the crap called IDENTITY CRISIS followed by the even worser crap called INFINITE CRISIS. I know one thing here on out: if it's got "Crisis" in the title, I'm skipping over that purchase. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me—well, you get the picture. The bottom line is that SHADOWPACT #1 was great for me, but I went into that expecting greatness since it was by Bill Willingham and featured Blue Devil and a talking chimp! But WONDER WOMAN I went into with the lowest of low expectations. Yeah, I know Heinberg surprised the hell out of me with his work on YOUNG AVENGERS and yeah, I know that the Dodsons draw the best looking wimmens in comics, yeah yeah yeah. But we're talking about the "New" DC. You know? The one where Howard Stern is apparently the Executive Editor or something? So, of course, I was expecting to turn to page one and see Diana and, oh, I don't know, Artemis rolling like thunder under the covers or something while wearing thong underwear.

Instead, I was treated to a comic book that kicked my ass up one side of the street and kept kicking till we got down the other side. I absolutely loved everything about it. I don't think it's any big surprise that Donna has assumed the mantle of Wonder Woman. In fact, I've predicted it ever since the COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS special. But, I'm talking everything from the gorgeous coloring job on the cover to that final orgasmic page where we meet Agent Diana Prince in her best Emma Peel-like white leather secret agent suit giving me a total geek nostalgic flashback to the early 70s when Wondy tossed the flag suit and dressed in that white bellbottom pants suit. God those were the days, when the companies would try anything to squeeze every last quarter out of us little kiddies who had to make the difficult decision whether to spend our 50 cent allowance on two comics or on candy and a comic or just candy.

This comic is intelligent. More than that, it's also sharp, moves briskly, and establishes an entirely new feel for this WONDER WOMAN series than any previous version, and rightly so. After all, this natural progression of the Wonder Woman legacy is way too long in coming in my opinion. Look at how successful DC has been with Wally West as Flash? They got a solid twenty years of stories and marketing out of that simply because they embraced the change and never looked back, even in the face of a FLASH TV series that featured Barry Allen. So the upcoming WONDER WOMAN movie should not necessarily preclude Donna's transition into the role insofar as the comics are concerned.

I love how simplified Heinberg has made Wonder Woman's origin, both Diana and Donna. I love the appearances by Steve Trevor, Sarge Steel, and most especially Nemesis. I loved the classic Wonder Woman villains who appeared, including Dr. Psycho, Cheetah, and Giganta (who if I recall correctly, first appeared in a Hostess ad starring Wonder Woman). Sure, it may be something of a conceptual retread to come out of the starting block with a new person wearing the costume and having to face her insecurities at the magnitude of the heroic mantle she has taken on, but, under the writing of Heinberg and the sexy and solid pencils and inks of the Dodsons, I never once was disappointed.

If you love WONDER WOMAN, you'll like this comic. If you don't give a crap about WONDER WOMAN, I predict you'll love this comic! It's now on my personal "read first" list.


THE WALKING DEAD #28

Writer: Robert Kirkman
Penciler: Charlie Adlard
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

If anything, this latest issue of THE WALKING DEAD is just an exhibition of just how true the statement "Anything Can Happen!" is in the context of this kind of comic book.

Sometime around the end of the last story arc I found myself starting to waver in my excitement with this book. Over a year of stories of our group of survivors making a new "home" out of an abandoned penitentiary left me feeling like the book, much like the characters inside of it, had started becoming a little complacent. Obviously, that was kind of the point Kirkman was/is going for and, given the book's determination to try its damndest to really tell a story that seems "realistic" in that this is the kind of thinking and actions you'd expect real humans to have if by some freak of nature something like a zombie infestation really did occur, I can't really blame him. But it doesn't exactly make for the most riveting of storytelling after a while. As much as I love great characterization, sometimes you really do need some shock value to mix things up.

And with this latest story arc, and this issue in particular, consider things officially shook.

Last issue, we saw an "away party" I guess you could say of our main protagonist Rick, Terminator-like badass and former lawyer Michonne, and loveable scamp Glenn captured by some sick bastard known as The Governor. The Governor is an evil piece of shit. That's what we learn this issue. He likes to keep his "citizens" entertained by putting straggling humans in death matches with hordes of zombies he likes to keep in tow. It keeps the people complacent he says. And as we learn with this issue, he also apparently really likes knives. I don't want to get into too much detail over what kinds of things he does to our group of homebodies so as to avoid spoilers, but I will say that in a scant twenty-two pages of comic book, Kirkman has done as fantastic a job of making me hate and wishing horrible, horrible things on a character as Garth Ennis has been making a living by doing over on his MAX version of THE PUNISHER.

I'm glad to see the story getting back up to speed a bit. Even if it's just for this arc, it's nice to see them cast getting out of the prison setting and having Kirkman flex some more creative muscle as he gives us a glance at just how much the world has degenerated since this zombie event has started. Every issue is a very tight introspective into the human mindset and it's absolutely riveting. How far are people willing to go to survive? How are their minds dealing with such a horrible environment around them? And just what kind of atrocities will someone commit now that they're sadly almost totally unaccountable for their actions as society itself is crumbling around them?

Who knew a comic book about zombies could make you re-evaluate your thoughts on human behavior so much...


LAST PLANET STANDING Issues 1-3

Written by: Tom DeFalco and Pat Olliffe
Pencilled by: Pat Olliffe
Published by: Grim and Gritty Marvel Comics
Reviewed by superhero

Ahhh...old school Marvel, how I miss thee. There was a time when heroes were heroes and fought the good fight just to be doing the right thing. The Marvel U was simpler then. Gwen Stacy hadn’t done the nasty with Norman Osborne. Tony Stark hadn’t sold his brethren down the river for the sake of maintaining his government contracts (OK, I know that’s not really the case but there’s gotta be something of that in CIVIL WAR, right?). There were no gritty kick-super villains-in-the-teeth Ultimates. It was a more wholesome universe. It was a time when superheroes and their world weren’t so…skeevy.

If you remember those days of silly, grandiose adventure with a smile like I do then LAST PLANET STANDING may be for you. LAST PLANET is a Marvel comic series that harkens back to the good ol’ days. It’s a cosmic adventure the way they used to be done. It’s fast paced, simple, and action packed. In the span of three issues a universe is blinked out of existence, Asgard is nuked to oblivion, the moon gets blown up and takes The Watcher with it, and a gigantic tidal wave floods the island of Manhattan. Dammit, this is the way superhero comics should be written!

See, Galactus is back in town and this time he’s not satisfied with your average run of the mill planet sized happy meal. This time he’s going for the whole shebang. The original G is tired of having to cross the cosmos looking for his next snack and is looking to appease his hunger once and for all. The problem with this is that to stop his need to feed he must destroy the whole universe and create a second big bang. Now if that plot doesn’t take you back to the bygone days of Marvel then I don’t know what will.

That’s what’s great about this book and the alternate universe it takes place in. Sure, this book takes place in a Marvel futureverse that probably isn’t tied into the current Marvel Universe in any way, shape, or form but I get the sense that it’s a hell of a fun place to be. While I never picked up the book SPIDER-GIRL I did pick up the old A2 book that chronicled the adventures of the Avengers of this universe several years ago, so I wasn’t going into this book completely blind. Make no mistake, though, I was totally lost as to exactly what the current histories were of each of the characters in this book. But for some reason it didn’t matter. I didn’t need to know everything because I recognized this book for what it is and what it succeeded in being: a straightforward and fun adventure story. Quite honestly, that’s the kind of book there isn’t enough of these days.

While I recognize that this kind of book may not be popular with the current crop of fans out there I can’t for the life of me understand why. Yes, certain elements are simplistic and there’s a golden/silver-age outrageousness that permeates the books that the too cool for school comic fan set might scoff at, but to me all of that stuff translates into pure enjoyment. I mean seriously, isn’t everyone just getting sick of all of Marvel’s core books being so…serious? I know I am. That’s why I see LAST PLANET STANDING as one of the books out there that’s a perfect antidote to the doom and gloom that’s permeating both of the big two’s books as of late. Of course it’s silly. But superheroes are pretty much in and of themselves pretty silly aren’t they?

My only problem with the book may have been the art. While Pat Olliffe’s Ron Frenz-like art is certainly professional there are certain places where I found it to be a bit stiff and lacking energy. The storytelling is perfect but certain elements in the art look like they may have been a bit rushed or even slapped together. What I’d really love to see is one of these alternate universe titles illustrated by someone with a more modern artistic style. It’d be interesting to me to see how the story itself would translate with a visual palette that’s probably more popular with readers today. I get that the look of LAST PLANET STANDING is supposed to be a bit retro but I think it’d be an interesting experiment to see how an old-school type story might play with a modern look.

In any case, LAST PLANET STANDING is a fun read. I’ve read that this may be the last hurrah for this universe and it’s a bit of a shame, really. Either way I’ll be reading the next two issues to see how Tom DeFalco bids his own little pet universe adieu. It should be an interesting finale.


MANIFEST ETERNITY # 1

Written by Scott Lobdell
Art by Dustin Nguyen
Published by Wildstorm / DC
Reviewed by Buzz Mainstream

@$$hole Clubhouse.

"Uh, Buzz..."

"No time to talk, Bug! I've got my final bargaining chip to get the bling package I'm demanding for taking Arad's job at Marvel."

"Do you think before you--"

"I've got another interested party. I'd never seriously consider their offer but Mort at Marvel doesn't know that."

"You've got a job offer?"

"There's an opening in upper management at al-Qaeda, what with Abu Musab al-Zarqawi getting blown up and all. Tough break there, heh, heh. When Marvel finds out that I'm being wooed, they are totally going to cave."

"Look, we've got a couple of talkbackers complaining because we're not reviewing enough mainstream material."

"And you want 'em taken care of ? Why didn't you say so? I got just the thing."

"Is that a garrote?"

"Yeah, it means getting in close but if I'm disguised and I've got some pyro to cover my escape..."

"No, no, I just want you to review--"

"You're right. It's beneath me. Check these out. I make 'em out of dishwasher tablets and ga--"

"Buzz, could you just review a mainstream comic?"

"Sure. Are you wearing a wire?"

"How did you know tha--"

"I read MANIFEST ETERNITY # 1, the new Wildstorm Comic written by Scott Lobdell with art by Dustin Nguyen. It's Science Fantasy. Not science fiction, not fantasy, science fantasy. See you combine the two. Scott Lobdell apparently wrote some X-MEN comics after they stopped mattering. Dustin Nguyen played Ioki on 21 JUMP STREET. Did you see the one where Depp and the boyz were undercover at the Youth Authority? Depp was given a hammer and--"

"Focus, Buzz."

"Focused, Bug. Right. MANIFEST ETERNITY. We're talking a murky comic here. Murky story, murky art. Even murkier than this review. We've got some aliens torturing a space hero, although you can't tell that from the story or the art. You just have to glean it. He's rescued by a guy coming out of the ceiling, a really blurry ceiling. Next thing we know, the Jedi Council is announcing him, he's now an old fart and he makes a speech to a bunch of aliens he's conquered. Turns out that he's on board the Authority's spaceship and his granddaughter is going to marry an alien from the species that tortured him. As if Nguyen's sci-fi art wasn't fuzzy enough, we move into Middle Narnia and find a bunch of gollywoggles who have been watching the space guy. They're attacking outer space. Science fiction's going down, bay-bee. As everything gets further and further out of focus, a tweaking Hobbit and Head Number One of Ghidarah the Three Headed Monster attack the Enterprise...And people wonder why I don't read many comics lately."

"Buzz, that's not a mainstream comic."

"Is it black and white?"

"No.”

"Is it about ugly kids who can't get laid and have problems and talk too much?"

"Not really."

"Any non-lipstick lesbians?"

"Look, Buzz--"

"See that Wildstorm label? Nothing says DC like Wildstorm, but don't tell Alan Moore."

"Dammit, Buzz--"

"Mainstream at its' finest. Mainstream indeed."


JSA #86

Writer: Paul Levitz
Penciler(s): Jerry Ordway, Luke Ross, and Dave Meikis
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

Okay, maybe it's the fact that I slept the better part of a day and am sore and somewhat cranky. Maybe it's the fact that I've spent the past six hours nursing a migraine that makes me wish World War 3 would start today and wipe all human life off the planet in a glorious, glorious inferno of atomic energy and mushroom clouds. Or maybe it's just the fact that I haven't had a beer in almost 20 hours now, but I will say this, comics like this particular issue of JSA that I have in front of me right now I just find insulting and I'm wondering how they even see print in the first place.

First off, this story is boring. And it's been pretty much boring since it started. It's been what? Four issues now of "Oh look, the Gentleman Ghost is being evil and mischievous!" followed by repetitive "action scenes" where we get to see whichever JSAer he happens to be taunting at the time fall flat on their face in some embarrassing fashion because "OMG! HE'S A GHOST AND I CAN'T TOUCH HIM!!!" The only interesting bits we're getting at all here are for Jim Craddock (the Gentleman Ghost's real name) as we see a page or two here and there showing him as his old human self back in Old Timey England on the road to becoming the entity that he is today. They make the character of the Ghost somewhat interesting as we see him in glimpses doing a little bit of "Robin Hoodery" I guess you could say, but then they end abruptly and in pretty much clichéd fashion as we get the old "Man is hanged but puts out a curse and now haunts the landscape for all his days" kind of twist that I actually find sad that it's been used so much that I can actually call it clichéd. The rest of the "story" doesn't fare so much better as mostly it's just a bunch of somewhat embarrassing dialogue that I'm not even sure would have read well if this book came out 30 years ago. There's a couple moments of Alan Scott being somewhat bad ass in this issue that are somewhat entertaining, but that's really just grasping at straws.

The art of this book fares a little bit better. We get some really great looking Luke Ross art for the Gentlemen Ghose flashbacks, and we get some very competent fill-in art by Jerry Ordway. Without Rags being able to handle the chores of finishing this issue/story arc (I'm guessing this is because of whatever "personal issues" he also cited for not being able to start his run on DETECTIVE COMICS with Paul Dini on time) that kind of really defeats the rest of the interest I even had in this final arc of the book before the re-launch we'll be getting later this year. Again, no slighting the guys who worked on this particular issue at all, both are definitely doing solid jobs with what they have to work with, but with the story itself being borderline unreadable, seeing a superstar artist of Rags' ability was the only thing that was keeping me excited about this book.

Really what upsets me is that I just don't see why stuff like this even comes out. There really was no reason for this story to be told. Last I checked there haven't been, like, H.E.A.T. levels of fan outcry to see The Gentleman Ghost take center stage in a story once again. I'm not even sure you could call this story arc filler, because there's nothing it's really filling out. This is just a sad sort of "limbo" story as this book is just winding down time to be cancelled so that Johns can revamp the book later this year with a new number one. I just don't see the point of telling a nothing story if you're just biding time anyway. After the FLASH ended so unceremoniously last year with four terrible and directionless issues after Johns' went to great lengths to end his run on the title with an emphatic BANG!, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of direction DC even has for half their books at any given time. This stuff is just a waste of time on their part, and a waste of money on mine, and it's really just sad to see happen to a book that has held a really high standard of quality since its inception


MODERN MASTERS VOL. 7: JOHN BYRNE

Editors: Eric Nolen-Weathington/Jon B. Cooke
Artist: John Byrne
Publisher: TwoMorrows Publishing
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger

"Why does everybody hate me?" - John Byrne (MM VOL. 7, Part 4)

For $14.95, this book is an excellent package with a long interview and tons of art spanning John Byrne's 30 plus years of comic book work. If you are, or have been, a fan of his work, this is as close to a must-have as I can imagine. If you are someone who occasionally wonders just what the big deal is about John Byrne, then this book might give you a small insight. I'm sure everyone who reads through this book will have some aspects of his career that did not get covered here (for me, I was hoping to read some details and see some of his character designs from the famously "never-happened" Claremont/Byrne WHAT IF: MAGNETO HAD FORMED THE X-MEN?). The content is smartly broken up into distinct sections kicked off by a praise-filled introduction by Byrne's friend and fellow comics legend, Walter Simonson, himself the target of the next MODERN MASTERS volume.

Part One focuses on Byrne's upbringing and his artistic efforts from age two (with a picture of a saved chalk drawing of a choo-choo train on a little chalkboard) through his college work (with a couple of samples including his DEATH'S HEAD KNIGHT comic strip). I thought this section to be the most insightful as to what drives Byrne the artist. The picture he presents is that he was a child who was constantly uprooted year after year as his family moved around. And we're not just talking about moving to a different part of town, but across continents even. This meant that during his formative years he was never given the time to develop close sets of peers as friends. As a defense mechanism to that, given that he was an only child, he essentially made the characters in the comics he loved into his friends. And while he did not necessarily realize it at that young age, the efforts he put into developing his drawing abilities were all geared towards an end that would inevitably bring him to draw those same comic book characters professionally.

Byrne points to his DEATH'S HEAD KNIGHT college comic strip, a sword-and-sorcery adventure strip, as perhaps the truest example of "pure" John Byrne art--that is, Byrne before he discovered Neal Adams and decided that he wanted to draw like that! I found that an interesting perspective from him given that he claims that fans rarely seem to see the Adams influence to his work and he thinks that in his early work that's all he sees. When I looked at the DEATH'S HEAD KNIGHT samples, I was struck by how much they reminded me of Bernie Wrightson's work. It’s very heavily textured without so much outlining but instead allowing the lighting, shading, and texturing to define the shapes. I'd like to see Byrne give a serious go at trying a special project, maybe a one-shot, where he made a serious attempt to toss his Adams influence and recapture some of that earlier look. I think it would be interesting to see what 30-35 years of professional experience could do with that more rough and organic style.

Part Two focuses on the beginnings of his professional career through his first term at Marvel Comics. Turns out Byrne made a trip to New York City when he was 21 years old and made the rounds of all the major comic book companies. He got turned down by all of them. They didn't tell him to hang it up, though. They told him to come back when he was good--an indication that they saw that he had at least some raw talent at that age. Again, this book makes for an insightful look into Byrne's psyche as he relates the circumstances that brought him to Charlton and Marvel so soon after he had been turned down. Byrne reveals that he battles massive insecurities that make him feel like he does not deserve the success he has had. It's almost like there is a battle going on his head all the time that points to all the coincidences and happenstances that opened doors of opportunity, all out of his control, and downplays the hard work that he put into his accomplishments. The truth of the matter is that, yes, there are plenty of artists, writers, singers, whatever, out there who never catch a break and, as a result, never reach the level of success that their talent should bring in a fair world. But the world's not fair. For an artist to be successful, it is not just a reflection of their talent. It is a combination of (1) talent, (2) opportunity, (3) right place at the right time, (4) professionalism, and (5) popularity. In my mind, only number (4) there is 100% controlled by the artist. A lot of these keys to success in a commercial art field fall more in line with divine providence than anything else - being seen by the right person at just the right moment. Byrne should rightly feel lucky. But he should also not diminish the fact that had he not demonstrated strong talent and a professional work ethic very early on, his career might have quickly gone the way of the "Whatever happened to's" like James Sherman or Dave Wenzel. Who? That's what I'm talking about. Sherman once drew the LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES and Wenzel once drew THE AVENGERS and I'd bet less than 5% of the readers of this column have ever heard of 'em.

One of the many fascinating items TwoMorrows includes in this section is a copy of some of Byrne's handwritten notes from one of his legendary contributions to comic book history, X-MEN #137 (death of Jean Grey/Phoenix). It is noteworthy simply because it provides the reader a small glimpse into the process Byrne would go through to pace the storytelling even before his pencil hit the board. Also noteworthy is that his handwriting naturally looks very much like comic book lettering; perhaps revealing a little O.C.D. in how each line is perfectly straight, and filling in around the margins and whitespaces there are numerous Byrne doodles. I see a Playboy bunny, what looks like a caricature of Ronald Reagan, a radio microphone, and a bunch of just abstract marks as well.

Part Three brings the reader along with Byrne as he bolts over to DC exclusively. Byrne's view of the scenario in which he left Marvel (a company he also states does not exist for him anymore), is that he walked out the door because of editor-in-chief Jim Shooter's habit of attempting to micro-manage only those Marvel series that were the most successful, of which FANTASTIC FOUR was one. At that point, Byrne was already working on SUPERMAN for DC and he was more than willing to take advantage of this opportunity to play with the DC stable of characters for awhile.

Now, I can remember quite clearly back to the days when Byrne hit the ground running with MAN OF STEEL, which I think sold something like a million copies of issue one, counting both newsstand and direct market copies. I personally did not know of anybody who was not thoroughly enjoying his run at the time. However, Byrne's perception (and as we all know, "perception is reality"), was that his efforts were not supported by the fans nor by DC/Warners. Mix that perception together with his own self-proclaimed massive insecurities (a trait shared by most artists) and I came away with a much better understanding of why he bolted from the SUPERMAN titles after 3 years. As a fan at the time, though, it was highly frustrating because a pattern was developing of Byrne disappearing off a title right in the middle of a long-term storyline (FANTASTIC FOUR, SUPERMAN, WEST COAST AVENGERS, DANGER UNLIMITED just to name a few).

"I'm really ignorant about what's going on in funny books these days, because they depress me so much. I don't look." - John Byrne (MM VOL. 7, Part 4)

Part Four tackles Byrne's foray into creator-owned properties and samples a bit about Byrne's decidedly negative view of the current state of comics and fandom. Byrne, Frank Miller, Art Adams, and Mike Mignola set out to establish their own imprint, LEGEND, that could jump from publisher to publisher. But the intention was that this imprint would be an indicator to the fans that the comics were going to be produced by professionals at the top of their game and they were going to be produced on a reliable schedule. Basically they attempted to do what IMAGE had claimed they set out to do but with more of the older workhorses rather than the youthful upstarts. It didn't last very long as an imprint, but Byrne stuck with it the longest, although Mignola's HELLBOY and Miller's SIN CITY properties continued publishing new material even through today--but without the LEGEND imprint.

Byrne created JOHN BYRNE'S NEXT MEN, which he fully admits here was a name intended to evoke a subconscious callback to X-MEN in the minds of the consumers. But his intention was to do a hard science-fiction serialized graphic novel with enough super-hero trappings that it would appeal to the mainstream comic buying public. The timing must have been right because NEXT MEN was the biggest selling comic book that Dark Horse had ever published. He followed on the heels of the success of NEXT MEN with BABE and DANGER UNLIMITED. But once the bottom dropped out on the direct market for most creator-owned stuff, he folded up shop and returned to the comfort zone of Marvel and DC.

A discussion about his GENERATIONS series reveals that that the original series spun out of an aborted JSA/INVADERS crossover special Byrne pitched to the Big Two after the success of his BATMAN/CAPT. AMERICA one-shot. Showing a bit of self-awareness, he remarks that the success of the first two GENERATIONS is mostly attributable to the aging fanbase that he's always complaining about. Likewise, he blames the lack of success of the third GENERATIONS series on that self-same aging fanbase, because it did not appeal to the Silver Age nostalgia that drove the first two series. Beyond that, he discusses a little bit about what he feels led to the demise of his recent run on DOOM PATROL and shares a bit about how BLOOD OF THE DEMON came about.

Part Five examines his creative process. The best part of this section is that it showcases a handful of unfinished work by Byrne. There are panel breakdowns from X-MEN #137, a partially inked pencil drawing, and a page demonstrating how he incorporates some computer graphics onto his comic book work. I got a kick out of these two Muppets comic strips he produced (one inked by Terry Austin) as a failed try-out for a proposed Muppets strip for Henson Productions. We also get a chance to see his original pencils for one of those FUNKY WINKERBEAN comic strips he ghosts occasionally and then we see the finished product after Tom Batiuk applied his inks. Nice stuff.

"Yeah, there are so many idiots online that my threshold is, like, zero." - John Byrne (MM VOL. 7, Part 6)

Part Six gives voice to some of Byrne's trademark blistering criticisms and honest opinions unfiltered. Note the quote above. My reason for including that quote is to illustrate the point that Byrne makes here in this section of the interview. And no, the point is not that there are idiots online. The point is that his obsessive aversion to the use of innocuous little things like the sideways smilies means that his tone of voice, facial expression, etc. is always missing. He laments that Walt Simonson can tell someone online to "F**k off" and nobody minds because he follows it with a winky smilie, but if he tells someone to "F**k off" everyone pitches a holy fit because he didn't follow it with a winky smilie. And you know what? He's right about that. But at the same time, he demonstrates a pointless stubbornness here that unfortunately just feeds the very problem he's decrying. If it's something as simple as throwing in an occasional wink or smile to be sure that people know his intent, then why not do it? Sure, it may seem idiotic, but is it any less idiotic to post harsh or abrasive comments with no malicious intent but expect others to mindread intent? As I say, it seems like behavior that if done repeatedly would demonstrate a desire to perpetuate it.

At least that's how it reads to me.

And I did find myself laughing out loud at one point in this section where Byrne starts railing on about how movies and TV always show comic book readers in the worst light (sounding much like Right-Wing Christian politicos complaining about how Christians are portrayed in the media) when he's quoted as saying: "And now, because there are so many fans running the industry, they can't see past it. 'Oh, I think they're great, and I think having these characters say "f*ck" is mature.' Well, no, we call it 'juvenile.'" Then I looked immediately to the right, at the near full-page illustration from Byrne's famously never published DC Comic, FREAKS, and the character is yelling: "Barker, you are out of your EFFING MIND, man!!"

I don't know if that was intentional, but it was funny.

The truth of the matter is that if you read through this section you will find that Byrne nails things sometimes, but more often than not, his perception of the current state of the industry sounds more like personal frustration over the fact that his star has fallen in recent years. Nostalgia is a common thing to drive those of us pushing forty, and even moreso those in their fifties and older, so it's understandable to look at the current state of affairs and wish for it to be more like it was when you were younger. But all of us have to face one certain fact: things change. Byrne may very well be Jeremiah crying in the wilderness or he may simply be a Pharisee bound to a set of arbitrary rules demanding that everyone else bend to his interpretation of those rules. Time will tell whether it's one or the other, or even more likely, a compromise of sorts between the two extremes.

My three favorite pieces of art in this book were (1) a commissioned drawing of Superman, Batman, and Capt. America that was originally intended to be a cover for TwoMorrows' now defunct COMIC BOOK ARTIST magazine, (2) a two-page spread, inked by Jerry Ordway, of Cap and Bucky fighting the Red Skull, and (3) the original pencils of a full-page splash from SUPERMAN #3 introducing the New Gods and the denizens of Apokolips for the first time post-MAN OF STEEL era. I got a big kick, also, out of seeing an illustration from the 80s for a failed pitch he made for a new METAL MEN series. I'm not sure his sensibilities right now are in tune enough with the current fanbase to support a current METAL MEN comic by him, but a Byrne METAL MEN series in the 80s would've likely been a real fan favorite. It's a shame that never came about.

I admit to being down on the man's work in the last couple of years, but even during that time I did find myself publishing a positive review for one of his DOOM PATROL issues. But this book was a great reminder of just how talented he really is and these lower tier DC books (his recent SUPERMAN work excepted) he's been working on have just not been the best showcases for that talent. It's something of a natural progression for commercial artists, but his style is currently out of favor with the vast majority of comic book fans. That's not a slam on him. It's just the ebb and flow of American pop culture. I'm looking forward to that future project where he is hit more by a creative instinct than a desire for technical precision in the mechanics of storytelling. That, I think, is what will attract an audience in the current climate that is more writer-driven than artist-driven. Byrne's strengths have always been strongest on the artistic side. His writing is fine, but definitely out of step with what the public goes for now. But looking at the art samples throughout the book and in the 33-page gallery demonstrate he's still got the artistic chops if he can get connected with a writer who challenges him the way, say, Claremont did during their tenure on X-MEN.

The bottom line is that his contributions to comic books over the last 30 years justify the title of Modern Master and that's just the God's honest truth. If you haven't bought this book yet, you should buy it now.


TAG #1
BOOM! Studios

Amother zombie book. This time, focusing on a zombie-like curse passed on from one person to the next like the old schoolyard game tag. If you pass along the curse to someone, you’re not “it.” “It” meaning a walking dead person who decays rapidly and doesn’t require things like heartbeats or breathing to survive. This is a more personal tale, focusing on one man who attains the curse just as his girlfriend is trying to break-up with him. I liked this story in that it’s one of those layered tales where the zombie curse can be read as a metaphor for the way one feels when you are the dumpee in a relationship. The fact that this curse causes the main character’s girlfriend to stick around a little while longer to help him out sustains the metaphor. This is an interesting and surprisingly adult take on relationships and the living dead. It’s a serious yarn by Keith Giffen, who I like best on more comical books like WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? and HERO SQUARED. But I’m finding his more serious stuff equally interesting these days. This more intimate look at the zombie genre is definitely worth checking out. - Ambush Bug

THE LAST SIN OF MARK GRIMM #1
Silent Devil Publications

Those of you who like SIN CITY will want to take note of this comic book noir-ish tale of a gumshoe in search of his lost love. This book has some pretty nice dialog which uses the same Bogart-speak that made Frank Miller famous. The look if this book is pretty great as well. Artist Chris Moreno bathes each page in lights and darks, paying close attention to the significance and resonance of both in each well thought out panel. There are double crosses, a dame, and a whole lot of gunplay in store for anyone interested. According to Mark Grimm, he never misses and neither does this book in terms of entertainment. A fun read. - Ambush Bug

HERO SQUARED ONGOING #1
BOOM! Studios

I love this book because, more so than any of his other projects at BOOM!, it highlights what Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis do best. Sure, I’m digging his takes on sci fi in JEREMIAH HARM and more horrific projects like TAG show promise, but Giffen is best known for his conversational BWAHAHAHA’s and there’s a reason for that: he does it so well, especially when paired with DeMatteis. HERO SQUARED embraces all of the superhero clichés and makes a kooky sitcom out of the whole thing. Sure there are parallel universes, alter egos, alien invasions, tights and capes, and all forms of time-worn predicaments involving alter egos. Captain Valor is your typical all-powerful Superman archetype, it just so happens that his arch-nemesis is his ex-girlfriend and when their never ending battle destroys the universe they inhabited, they move to a parallel universe to continue to fisticuffs. They bicker like any ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend do, but in this case, it’s not a lamp or a picture frame that gets broken, but entire worlds. Milo is the Captain Valor of this universe, or he would have been, had he not blown off the museum trip where Valor received his powers. Due to his wanton slackery, Milo is powerless. With good intentions, Valor enters Milo’s life to make sure his arch-nemesis doesn’t destroy this world. It doesn’t help that Milo and his girlfriend are having problems of their own and all signs point to a big breakup after this issue. It’s all smartly written. Like CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM with tights and death rays. None of the characters get along and go off on tangential blatherings that are more entertaining than your typical slugfest. The tongue is firmly in cheek when the heroics do ensue and Giffen and DeMatteis do a great sequence towards the end of this issue that starts out kooky and ends up quite poignantly as Valor realizes that this world is very different from the one he left behind. Smartly written and rendered with deft linework by Joe Abraham who is growing artistically by leaps and bounds as this series progresses. - Ambush Bug >br>

Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.


OUTSIDERS #37
DC Comics

This comic made me wince twice. First at the suggestion that it may have been team-shape changer Metamorpho who actually slept with the evil African dictator and not Black Lightning’s daughter, Thunder. And then the suggestion of the unrequited gorilla on brain in a bottle love that’s going on behind the scenes. Like Superman in this issue, I don’t know how I feel about the direction these Outsiders are going. I don’t like the extreme measures the team are taking in order to get the job done, but I am interested in seeing how far down this dark path Nightwing and Co. are willing to go. As long as Winick focuses on the action and maybe a little less on the image of an ape in a beret dry humping a brain in a glass jar, I’ll be sticking around to see what happens. - Bug

PUNISHER #34
Marvel Comics

Another great issue. It’s a good time to be a Punisher fan, what with Ennis churning out great one-shots like THE CELL and THE TYGER all the while keeping the action intense and the insight into Frank’s character consistent in his ongoing series. This issue continues the trend as the Punisher matches fists and wits with the truly devious Barracuda. The humor is not so over the top as some of Ennis’ previous stuff in PREACHER, HITMAN, and the previous PUNISHER series, but this book still provided one of the biggest laughs I had from a comic last week involving a scared mobster reading what’s left of the words on Barracuda’s personalized gold teeth. Top this off with a great opening sequence involving a shark and a legless thug and you have yet another great Punisher action yarn from Ennis and co. - Bug

Y: THE LAST MAN #46
DC Vertigo

We're nearing the final year of one of the best books on the stands, and it's really starting to show. Tons of plot lines are finally starting to thread together as we start to countdown to the end and Y: THE LAST MAN is showing the same kind of flair for the dramatic that has made it such a terribly engrossing read for the past four years. Lots of conflicts are resolved and/or created here as lots of matters are completely dealt with, or we're given just that much more bit to chomp on as storylines that will be the focus of the book's final year are pushed ahead. The matter of reclaiming Ampersand, Yorick's and Agent 355's relationship, Doctor Mann future and her mother's involvement with the plague, and the little matter of the Israeli contingent coming after the first children born after the plague...all this and more and just a year to deal with it. It should be a hell of a ride. If you haven't tried it out by now, I really do feel sorry for you - Humphrey

ANNIHILATION: SILVER SURFER #3 (of 4)
Marvel Comics

I haven’t been a big fan of ANNIHILATION so far, although there have been moments of hope for this quiet crossover event. While all of the hubbub has directed towards this CIVIL WAR nonsense, this little event has been gaining steam as of late. Take this issue, for instance, as we are made privy to the fact that Galactus’ call to his side aches in the Silver Surfer like an alcoholic is temped when he passes a bar. This issue illustrates this struggle vividly in grainy panels by Renato Arlem. There are a few panels where I am clueless as to what is exactly happening, but the payoff at the end of this issue has me excited about this ANNIHILATION for the first time. Surfer and Galactus, together again. It may have been done before (don’t know, haven’t read a Surfer comic in a while), but it’s done really well this time. - Bug

THE EXTERMINATORS #6
DC Vertigo

Starting into the second arc of this comics' existence, and things are still moving along surprisingly well. What really gets me about this book is the kind of levels it's working on. There's obviously some sort of much broader scope and story moving along here that we just really don't know about at all, but at the same time you can feel it oozing between the more apparent plots. The upcoming and undeniable "war" with the "Uber-cockroaches" itself is a very unique and interesting kind of conflict for a comic book and I'm quite looking forward to it. As is the whole matter of the weird antique roach box that our main character Henry James found in the possession of his former exterminating partner AJ, a story point that is starting to be pushed into the forefront with this issue it seems, as Henry has now become acquainted with a lovely new gal that may just know something about the subject at hand. This issue also features another fun little battle between man and bug as Henry and his new partner/buddy Stretch have a little encounter with some black widow spiders in a rather, uh, "interesting" setting. Everything about this book so far has been pitch perfect, and this issue just continues the trend. The characters are terribly unique, as is the tone of the book in general. There's lots of humor, some genuine intrigue as the broader plot points develop, and it sports some amazing Tony Moore art to boot. I know the term "The Best Book You Aren't Reading" gets thrown around a lot, but in this case I can't think of any book out there on the market that fits the honor of that title more than THE EXTERMINATORS. - Humphrey

CIVIL WAR: FRONTLINE #1
Marvel Comics

I guess this issue is supposed to be supplementary material focusing on how the press is involved in this CIVIL WAR crossover thingee. I never followed THE PULSE and if this issue is any indication as to how that book read, I’m glad I didn’t. First and foremost, one would think that, if you’re making an event book, you may want to make the art a little more poppy. We’re talking plain white toast interesting here, folks. It’s not that it is bad, per se. It’s that it just isn’t what I am expecting to see when I open a tie in to one of the most over hyped crossover books of the summer. It’s just…boring. And you know what’s more boring than boring art. Boring art depicting a bunch of people sitting around and moping and talking. Hell, writer Paul Jenkins is even so self-aware of how boring this all looks that he has a character mention how silly Spider-Man looks sitting in a chair. It’s the usual, Marvel 22 talkity-talk, followed by a few short stories that are equally drably rendered and overly written. This book may be on the Frontline, but there ain’t no action going on here. - Bug

52 WEEK FIVE
DC Comics

This is the first issue of this series that I haven’t been fascinated with. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t get over the ridiculousness of the fact that Green Lantern Alan Scott now wears his trademark purple mask with an eye patch underneath. Maybe it’s the wonky and weird whammy the zeta beam mishap did to the heroes who were recovered and lost in space. Maybe it was the fact that the series has shifted its gears away from much more interesting storylines involving Renee Montoya, Black Adam, and Booster Gold, to focus on Alan Scott and the missing heroes who fought in the Rann-Thanagar War. Don’t know, but to me, this is the first misstep in an otherwise well written and well rendered series. I’ll stick with it, though, because the aforementioned storylines that weren’t in this issue will be sure to be back. And that’s what’s making this series kick all sorts of @$$. - Bug

Readers Talkback

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  • June 14, 2006, 3:50 p.m. CST

    FIRST!

    by nofate

    and it feels so good.

  • June 14, 2006, 3:52 p.m. CST

    I might even pick up a Wonder Woman comic

    by Snookeroo

    and I haven't done that in a long time.

  • June 14, 2006, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Fuck You Millar

    by AlgertMopper

    Fuck You Millar, Fuck You you fat piece of shit JoeQ

  • June 14, 2006, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Civil War Frontline

    by Heisenberg85

    Really, you didn't like Frontline at all? But it's not supposed to be the big action comic, it's supposed to be told from the human, journalism side. Frankly I loved it. And Civil War #2 also solid. Shocking ending too. Already this event kicks House of M's ass. I mean come on, HoM sucked, and had no real continuity shocking minutes until the last page or so.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Don't worry too much about Civil War, AlgertMopper

    by rev_skarekroe

    Everything will be back to the status quo in a year or two. Three years tops.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Modern Masters

    by mrfan

    This is a very good read. I love these series and enjoyed reading about Byrne. He still draws a mean Fantastic Four like no other.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:09 p.m. CST

    by EnlightenedOne

    No love for Invincible? ...also just read the latest American Virgin and daaaaaaammmn,

  • June 14, 2006, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Once and for all

    by nemler

    I have to admit to myself that I just won't agree with what Ambush Bug writes. Which is fine, I'll still read his reviews...but now I will know what to expect of myself in terms of reaction. Bring on Civil War, say I!

  • June 14, 2006, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Seriously

    by Ky-El

    I can't take a reviewer seriously that thinks the only thing good to come of Crisis was Shadowpact. Apparently you can follow talking monkey's but not a complex storyline. Maybe you should stick with Archie comics and leave the real comics to the big boys.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Civil War

    by Ky-El

    And Civil War is the same exact story that Marvel has been doing with X-men for years. Mutant Registration Act = Hero Registration ------ Iron Man and Spidey's side = Brotherhood of Mutants -------- Captain America's side = X-men. Same exact friggin story but on a bigger scale than just mutants.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Marvel and DC are very poor..........

    by godhatesyou

    They are like some sad old supervillan who decides they want to change the past and make the future revolve around them.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Don't you have that backwards?

    by Engineer_at_peac

  • June 14, 2006, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Don't you have that backwards?(edit)

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Fucking enter key. Don't you have that backwards? Wouldn't Spider-man and Iron-Man be the X-men and Captain America and his team be the Brotherhood in this instance?

  • June 14, 2006, 4:47 p.m. CST

    wonder woman

    by Redmantle

    was teh suck. I could give a rat's ass about Donna Troy. We all know that the "big reveal" will be Diana taking the mantle back in a few issues. Donna Troy? Don't we already have Wonder Girl? And that may or may not be Diana Prince, agent of SHIELD or whatever the hell the DC version is. Crap. I bought it for the Dodson art, and you know, that at least was okay. Giganta "oh, its Dr Zeus now" or whatever the fuck. Lame. The last Wonder Woman writer was better. And yeah, she probably shouldn't have killed that guy, I mean JLA doesn' have a depowered room? Or somebody can't burn the psionic lobe out of Max Lord's head. And Civil War sucks too. I was about to buy it, and you know, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Didn't Bendis (and we know this is a Bendis idea) do this whole thing in Powers not so long ago? I mean really. And, AND the art on New Avengers sucks balls. SUCKS BALLS. Isn't this supposed to be a flagship title? Like JLA for DC? Can't they bother to get a decent creative team for JLA and New Avengers - I suppose that they figure they will sell anyway even if they suck. So, phew, I'll buy Planetary and All Star Superman and that's it for a while. Can't someone write a decent Dr. Strange? Okay, I'm ranting. Definitely sounds like I'm ranting. Later.

  • June 14, 2006, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Civil War #2

    by Voltage

    Marvel is the most schizophrenic company producing comics today. They used to be consistently terrible. Yet now they can offer Brubaker's "Captain America" at the same time that they systematically destroy their flagship character. V

  • June 14, 2006, 5:04 p.m. CST

    I thought Chaykin was the new Wonder Woman writer...

    by loodabagel

    Ah well, I'm not a huge fan anyway. But Paul Jenkins is writing Frontline? I might have to read it. Not buy it, but read it. Personally, I've been continuously let down by Spiderman since he left. All he crossovers have gotten overwhelming. Think about, first, there were five issues of House of M, followed by twelve of The Other and now we've got nine issues of Civil War! Damn, Thank god for Ultimate Spidey. Marvel has done a great job of fucking their Spidey fans in the ass for the past year, not to mention the poor X-Meners, who haven't even had any decent writers. It seems the only reason there are so many X-Men and Spiderman titles is to print all the crossovers and real stories at the same time. Not being familiar with his work, I eagerly anticipate Jeph Loeb's move to the title next year.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:07 p.m. CST

    "Who knew a comic book about zombies..."

    by SamBluestone

    "Who knew a comic book about zombies could make you re-evaluate your thoughts on human behavior so much..." Humphrey, with all due respect, have you ever seen George Romero's zombie movies? The movies that Kirkman himself adores and lives to emulate, by his own admission? Because that's *exactly* what those movies were all about! If you have seen NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, DAWN OF THE DEAD, and DAY OF THE DEAD, then cool, never mind, I just thought I'd ask. It just generally saddens me that so many fans of THE WALKING DEAD have never seen these movies. What makes Romero such a genius is that the movies aren't about the zombies, and that the zombies never were the real monsters. Kirkman's just keeping the tradition alive with his excellent book.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Charlie Adlard?

    by loodabagel

    On Walking Dead? Wasn't he the old X-Statix artist?

  • June 14, 2006, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Nope,it was Mike Allred.

    by loodabagel

    Hey, at least I was kind of close.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Civil War #2 had a nice final page, but effed up _____

    by Tall_Boy

    For all the talk about how ____ and ____ shouldn't be _____ , the final page in Civil War #2 seems to just fuck up ____ as badly as ____'s ____ to ____ has supposedly done. (fill in the blanks yourself, kids.) Like the series, though, Millar rules generally at anything.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:22 p.m. CST

    My problem with the Civil War

    by chrth

    My guess is that of course the Hero Registration act is going to be shelved. Why? Because one of the forever-ongoing plot cliches at Marvel is "SOMEONE FINDING OUT YOUR TRUE IDENTITY". You honestly think they're going to give that up?

  • June 14, 2006, 5:30 p.m. CST

    "My name is Peter Parker...

    by nofate

    and I've been Spider-Man since I was 15-years-old." NICE! Best line of the year, probably decade. Glad Millar is the one handling this series. He knows how to do it right. This is how you do an event DC. With actual repercussions. "um...Superboy was punching the multiverse, that's why Jason Todd is back" Fucking lame!

  • June 14, 2006, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Revealing Peter is far from character development.

    by SleazyG.

    To listen to Quesada bitch for months on end about how Peter should never have married Mary Jane because it ruined his character and then turn around and have the guy go public just goes to show he couldn't see the forest for the, uh, forest.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Oh, man! I am confused.

    by loodabagel

    Does Annihilation suck? Does it rock? Is it somewhere in between? It seems that every review about this event keeps changing my mind. But hey, I probably won't even read any of it.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:45 p.m. CST

    John Byrne is God

    by docfalken

    I'm looking forward to that book!! Thanks for the write up.

  • June 14, 2006, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Was Joey Q plotting to kill MJ?

    by loodabagel

    Damn! I bet he was the fink who crashed her plane. Even as a wee lad, I realized she would be back. But he'll probably get her for sure in the near future. You know, as revenge for Spidey changing his costume and revealing his identity. What I'm saying here is that little Joey does not approve of modern Spiderman and is going to cry to the writers in the near future about how he's been letting them do so much with poor Peter Parker. Here's a scene from the Marvel conference room in the near future: Joe Q (Who happens to speak in jive) Yo! Millar, my man! I am not feelin mightily stoked about this Civil War story a' yours! Mark Millar (Who is a British punk rocker from 1976) Hey bloke! What's your problem! My story kicked muthafuckin ass! Joey Q-You fucked up Spiderman, dig? Now see, I've been given you writin' fellows way too much room in the last few years. It's time for me to fix Spiderman! (Everyone will feel sorry for little Joey and let him have his way. All part of Joe's evil plot.) Joe Quesada will then proceed to kill MJ, get Spidey out of the Avengers, lose his job and move into a two bedroom swingin bachelor pad with either Frogman or Rocket Racer. Spidey will then alternate his nights fighting drug dealers and fucking the Black Cat, just like he did in the good 'ol days.

  • June 14, 2006, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Gonna have to sit and wait...

    by Clifford Brown

    I hate waiting for these All-Star titles (AAS, not ASBAR). When the hell is Ultimate Wolverine V.S. Hulk coming out for god sakes?

  • June 14, 2006, 6:41 p.m. CST

    spidey...

    by blackthought

    just lame...

  • June 14, 2006, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Excellent Byrne MM review Prof.

    by Boru999

    It was quite contemplative and considered the multi-facted personality of this passionate, often disgruntled, comics legend. He truly is one of the greats. His love for the medium knows no bounds. I can't wait to read this. And I can't wait to check out his art on the new Atom series. I'm sure it will be stellar. Also, please review the Simonson MM when it's released.

  • June 14, 2006, 6:57 p.m. CST

    I Almost Agree With Quesada.

    by Buzz Maverik

    I think it was fine for Spider-Man to get married. If Pete represents Everyman, well, most people get married. I like that Mary Jane is kinda out there because I think she saw the Spidey persona in Pete long before she knew his secret. Everyone else thought he was a wimp but this wild girl picked up on his secret wild guy. In re-reading the ESSENTIALS, the funny thing is, even in the Gwen days, it was always really MJ, which was not by design but damned if 38 year old two dimensional figures didn't have chemistry. I think it's kind of interesting that Pete would be in one of those, "Why would she bother with him" relationships, probably because that's what every relationship I've ever had with a chick since I was in junior high has been. But McFarlane and his peers broke the rules of good fantasy fiction (and we're not talking breaking the rules in cool way, we're talk stoopid) and made MJ a super model. Wish fulfillment is never good fantasy fiction. Super model, actress, celebrity. That all showed the lack of exposure to any media except comics by the writers, artists and editors of the day. Mary Jane should be a hot chick, way out of Pete's league, but it should be real. She could work the make up or perfume counter at Macy's, like I always say. Maybe she even did a little catalogue modeling. But the supermodel thing is kinda dated anyway. The supermodels now aren't quite like the supermodels when they turned MJ into a supermodel. They seemed more likable. You know, early Cindy Crawford, Kathy Ireland, late Christy Brinkley, even Rebecca Romijn got in on the very end of that era. Probably those chicks weren't as ... nice as they seemed but now we're back to the heroin addict, Euro trash thingie, which has a certain coolness, but MJ wouldn't fit into that camp. I think they should keep MJ alive and keep her married to Pete because killing or divorce would be a cop out, an easy way to change things. They keep telling us how character driven their comics are, but they still only develop those characters in gigantic, sensationalistic explosions or gunfire.

  • June 14, 2006, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Engineer_at_peac

    by maxwell's hammer

    No, not backwards...when the Mutant Registration Act was first introduced, The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants turned their services over to the government and became Freedom Force (led by Mystique). So they were government stooges and the X-Men were always on the run.

  • June 14, 2006, 7:18 p.m. CST

    If you were a big Byrne fan as a kid (like me)...

    by Flim Springfield

    ...DO NOT GO TO HIS MESSAGE BOARD. It's like peeking into Santa's workshop and seeing him complain about kids and swear at the elves.

  • June 14, 2006, 7:30 p.m. CST

    great reviews as usual

    by Darth Kal-El

    im very interested in this modern masters series just based on the write up! i looked them up on amazon and they go for about 10 bucks a piece.****"Spidey will then alternate his nights fighting drug dealers and fucking the Black Cat, just like he did in the good 'ol days." that was an awesome line followed closely by "It's like peeking into Santa's workshop and seeing him complain about kids and swear at the elves.". glad to hear the TB is in fulll swing!*** and a brief continuation from last tb. Great Atuin have you heard if theres any plans for a DJFNY for the next gen consoles? or at least a patch to make it work on my 360?

  • June 14, 2006, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Civil War (spoilers)

    by BayouWilly

    Notice I put a spoiler warning in my title, not like some douchebags cough-nofate-cough. I knew they would reveal Peter Parker as Spidey since that Wizard promo piece that was supposed to be a quiz or something. You can actually guess a lot of things like that with some objective thinking. Oh, and the Prof once again shows how old and uninformed he is. Maybe he should join Byrne in the bitter old folks home.

  • June 14, 2006, 8:09 p.m. CST

    oh and btw

    by Darth Kal-El

    i love the way the @$$hole logo has beeen displayed on a different iconinc scene from a comic these past few weeks. definitely keep that up!

  • June 14, 2006, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Shall we call Byrne a Wahhhh-bulance?

    by RenoNevada2000

    Wahhh. I use the internet but not those little smilie things (They's called emoticons, Johnny) so no one understands what my intent is. Wahhhh.... Hey Byrne! The internet is a new form of communication, which is developing its own ways of conveying meaning. Either adapt or head off to the old folk's home to grumble under your breath about Peter David.

  • June 14, 2006, 9:05 p.m. CST

    Now fucking Spider-Man is revealing his identity

    by IndustryKiller

    What more could Marvel possibly do to drive this character into the ground?! I remember when the clone saga happened and everyone freaked out because it was so awful, now we have a clone saga like catastrophe every year. Now J. Michael Strazcinsky has written two of the worst storylines in Spider-Man history. Gwen Stacy was banging Norman Osbourne and Spider-Man reveals he's Peter Parker to the world. I mean Jesus. The writing doesn't get any more sensationalist or out of character than that. Especially the identity reveal. I mean c'mon, there is no way Parker would ever do that. Not only that but it seemed like he did it out of some sycophantic man crush he had on Tony Stark. It's just unbelieveable how they just made Peter Parker Stark's bitch. I'm waiting for the next issue where they catch Stark naked and Peter in a gimp outfit. Peter Parker has spent years protecting those around him and gaining respect for his alter ego while maintaining a normal life. Isn't Mary Jane an actress? Well Peter just fucked her career. If anything Peter would be in on the other side of the argument. And the fact that they setup to it was done so poorly and without reason proves to me that I'm right and even the writers of the story couldn't find a logical way to make it happen within the constraints of the character. Pathetic, like that ridiculous new spider man costume. I can't wait until some writer with talent reverses all this bullshit and writes a story with a great villain and good characterization.

  • June 14, 2006, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Darth, I hate to do this to you...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    But EA, being the all powerful cocks that they are, decided that they didn't need to keep paying the rappers for their likenesses. Last I heard the team is working on SOME sort of "in-the-spirit" of sequel, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Oh and as far as 360 compatability, couldn't tell ya. I won't be getting the 360 'till WAY after I've broken the buttons on my new (to me anyway) Saturn and the ever-loving blue-eyed thing that The Big N is wii'ing out all over us. Red Steel looks like a life stealer doesn't it?

  • June 14, 2006, 9:26 p.m. CST

    "Giganta (who if I recall correctly, first appeared in

    by cookylamoo

    a Hostess ad starring Wonder Woman." Uhhh, no, that was me.

  • June 14, 2006, 9:42 p.m. CST

    they already did peter in a gimp outfit

    by Darth Kal-El

    http://tinyurl.com/fr5wz

  • June 14, 2006, 9:45 p.m. CST

    damn that sucks atuin

    by Darth Kal-El

    but id still be down for a sequel no matter what. the rappers theselves didnt do it so much for me as the characters i created. but thanks for the reply. as for the wii i honestly have no intention of getting it. i have been kind of a non fan of nintendo since i got into xbox. it just seems like their product is more aimed at a younger generation and i havent really gotten into it. who knows tho shig described(in the last tb) a lightsaber game using their funky new controller. that sounds pretty sweet! and new super mario brothers made me want to buy a muthafuggin DS if only for a minute.

  • June 14, 2006, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Reading Invincible and fucking loving it...

    by Clifford Brown

    I have the first 2 volumes now. It's so fun to read. Must get the next ones soon. Kirkman kicks ass. Makes me want to try out Ultimate Spider-Man from the beginning

  • June 14, 2006, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Wonder Woman

    by dregmobile

    Shit, no one told me Donna Troy was taking on the mantle! I'm probably too late to buy that first issue now, damn it. ***** Hero Squared looks great. I've always been a fan of DeMattais since reading his The Last One some time ago. Wonder if my local stocks it. ***** I liked Front Line. Not great, but not bad. I'm sure it will build momentum. ***** "Superboy was punching the multiverse, that's why Jason Todd is back" was that seriously the explanation? Holy shit. I got to agree with Prof. Challenger about his take on anything 'Crisis'. I won't touch 52 for the same reasons. ***** Off to pick up CW 2 today and looking forward to it ...

  • June 14, 2006, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Another week passes, and still no...

    by los_urizen

    New ULTIMATES. Le sigh.

  • June 14, 2006, 11 p.m. CST

    DMZ is definitely my fav. Vertigo title...

    by Clifford Brown

    Sometimes you're so glad that you catch on to something so early in it's existence because you know this isn't a one-trick pony. This book is so fucking good. Whereas American Virgin #4 has me wondering if it's worth picking up anymore. It's not that it's not good. It's just not what I thought it was going to be... yet anyway.

  • June 14, 2006, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Civil War rip-off of Watchmen

    by Heisenberg85

    Civil War is not really a rip-off of X-Men storylines, so much as it is a much clearer rip-off of Watchmen. Which is fine in my book, I love Watchmen, got the absolute version sitting on my shelf, so I'm curious in seeing how it plays out in the marvel U. ****Really though, some of you here sound just like my dad when I told him about the shocking ending of CW2: "Spidey would never do that." I kind of agree, it'll be interesting in how it plays out. But some of you guys crack me up, you bitch about characters going stale, and then bitch even more when attempts are made to shake things up and alter the status quo. You want stories about Spidey trying to hide his identity, then go read Ultimate Spiderman.

  • June 15, 2006, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Darth, I got yaz kids game right'ere!

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Red Steel. Gun in one hand, samurai sword in the other. Eh...I could try to decribe it but just here....http://tinyurl.com/j5b7n

  • June 15, 2006, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Heisenflagenfloogen58, what you don't.....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    understand, is that this is a Greedo shoots first moment here. It TOTALLY changes the character. Peter has spent his whole career living a double life. He's had people to protect, and enemies to defend against. It's his thing. He's the nerdy kind that could kick your ass, take your name, fuck your girlfriend and get your dog to follow him home. He's literally held the world's fate in his wall-crawling hands, BUT he did it right. He didn't go and find Flash Thompson and put him in traction. He didn't do the things that he wished he could do. Why? Because of the whole "Great Responsibility" thing. Sure, he could have gone Wally West, and done the super-star thing. He'd be great at it. Just like Wally is/was. (WTF? Wally's dead?) But he didn't. That's not why he's doing it. He's doing it to help people. Wally is/was cool because he's doing/did (FUCK! Really? Dead?) what any one of us would do. We'd be heroes all right, and we'd make sure EVERYONE we'd ever met knew about it. Peter doesn't have to. That's what makes Spider-Man an A-lister, and Flash a JLAer. He made the right choice, the responsible choice, a long time ago.

  • June 15, 2006, 12:53 a.m. CST

    ok atuin

    by Darth Kal-El

    ill give you that that game looks sweet. im still not sure if it will be enough to make me buy a wii but for damn sure ill try to check it out at gamestop or a friends house.i wonder what multiplayer will look like on that game. knowing my friends it would just degenerate into a wrestling match in RL .still looks sweet tho thanks for the link. i know its not as interactive but im really looking forward to gears of war and dead rising on the 360.and have you seen the previews for the marvel game? 20 playable characters! 20!!and wow a star wars reference as well! games,comics,star wars? your my kind of geek!man i didnt make it to the store in time so no new trades for me today! gonna have to hit barnes tomorrow!

  • June 15, 2006, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Parker's done alot of stupid things in his time...

    by Tall_Boy

    ...so I can actually squint and by that he *would* do this. And I like the scene alot. But, goddamn, Marrying MJ doesn't make him an everyman, but revealing his ID does? I mean, COME ON! Still, awesome scene.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:26 a.m. CST

    RACHEL DODSON

    by arrangedletters

    Please get her off of this book. SHe has no idea how to color. Her stuff is the most muted looking stuff ever. Seriously not everything has to be a pastel.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:27 a.m. CST

    RACHEL DODSON

    by arrangedletters

    Please get her off of this book. SHe has no idea how to color. Her stuff is the most muted looking work ever. Seriously not everything has to be a pastel.

  • June 15, 2006, 4:07 a.m. CST

    Civil War....(Spoilers)

    by Kronus316

    What the hell is Marvel doing? They try to be more realistic, but how is it realistic for Spider-man

  • June 15, 2006, 7:05 a.m. CST

    Civil War foolishness *SPOILERS*

    by Blanket-Man

    I&#39;m the biggest Spider-Fan on the planet, and I&#39;m on the fence about Spidey&#39;s Big Reveal. His "secret" ID hasn&#39;t been a secret for years, anyway. At least half a dozen super-villains know who he is, and virtually every super-hero does, too. Plus MJ and Aunt May <== May&#39;s the kicker. Once she found out, half of his motivation for keeping it a secret went out the window. And I can buy the Peter-Tony Stark relationship, cuz Pete&#39;s been looking for a Daddy since his Uncle Ben was killed. Where else in his history has a respected father-type figure shown him any respect? George Stacy? (Dead) Joe Robertson? (Sometimes) But Tony&#39;s the first male adult to show Pete respect as Peter AND Spidey. So I can see how Pete would latch on to that. But the real mischaracterization in this series is being heaped on Reed Richards: Mr. Fantastic is *excitedly* building contraptions to ensnare super-types who go against the gov&#39;t?!? No, no and no. Reed might go along with on the surface, but he&#39;d be secretly working on something just the opposite, something to HELP his fellow heroes who choose the other path. So far, Tony and Steve Rogers are the only Marvel characters acting like the ones I&#39;ve known for nearly 40 years (Peter&#39;s iffy at this point). Cap&#39;s been awesome in the first two issues...

  • June 15, 2006, 8:16 a.m. CST

    I do remember James Sherman and Dave Wenzel...

    by PastePotPete

    Credit a lot of Byrne&#39;s longevity for breaking into comics at just the right time. He was at his height creatively when comics peaked in the 80&#39;s, after nearly 15 years in the business, and rode its decline for another 15. The indusry will never see days like that again.

  • June 15, 2006, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Indeed, Darth, I have seen the power.....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    of the Dark Side. I&#39;ll probably pick up the 360. There are many game that look cool and froody on it so far, but like I said, I still get to enjoy the 10 year old newness of a Saturn since I missed that ship when it first sailed. Dragon Force, Shining in the Holy Ark, Shining Force III, Blazing Rangers, All manner of fighting game goodness. It&#39;s like Santas show p to my house, reaking of expensive scotch, negotiable affection, and feet saying, "Sorry about the last coup*hic*le years, Kid. Santa needed to get his bell jingled. Take this and shut up. I gotta get Candy to gobble my cane again before Midnight or I gotta pay for another hour. Merry Christman, you little shithead."***"Thanks Santa! You&#39;re the best ever! Do her in the butt once for me, St. Nick. I&#39;ll be over here with my hordes of litte anime zombies trying to take over the world."

  • June 15, 2006, 8:24 a.m. CST

    So now that we have the big reveal out of the way...

    by Clifford Brown

    Who dies in the next CW?

  • June 15, 2006, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Reed Richards is bad at math

    by Engineer_at_peac

    He has this theory on the board talking about the exponential growth of Metahumans over the last few years, and how it will cause an apocalypse, but his math sucks. Probably over half of the metahuman population is no longer meta after the events of House of M. NO MORE MUTANTS! There&#39;s only a scant few left where there used to be thousands and thousands. And how many new metas, villian or hero, have we seen pop up lately? Not a whole lot. Note that by meta I mean any kind of hero or villian, whether they have superpowers or super devices or magic or are just a kind of super-skilled assassin type.

  • June 15, 2006, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Of Genies and Bottles

    by Shigeru

    I don&#39;t get Joe Quesada. Honestly, you can say the #1 problem with Spidey is that he&#39;s married and we need to fix that ASAP (a return to Spidey&#39;s origin)? And you ignore, nay PROMOTE JMS fucking with history for the past few years? And then you have Peter reveal his identity to the world? To me that&#39;s a giant fucking pissed off Genie raging out of the bottle, end-of-&#39;Aladdin&#39; style! Because that&#39;s not character development. There&#39;s no story of why the hell Pete did this, he just DOES IT. Like Buzz said, all they know how to do as far as character development goes is huge explosions and gunfire. And this bears repeating: this isn&#39;t taken back easily! Seems like they&#39;ve painted themselves into a corner just for a story device, but they may have something up their sleeve we don&#39;t know about. It&#39;s weird cause I enjoyed the rest of the issue. Reed completely ignoring Sue and being absorbed in ideas and imaginations, Cap kicking the dude out the door...good stuff. Well we&#39;ll see where the hell this goes.

  • June 15, 2006, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Oh and one more thing:

    by Shigeru

    SHE-HULK&#39;s costume is REALLY TIGHT apparently. You&#39;d think for such a high profile book they&#39;d show a bit more class than the standard ASS IN FOREGROUND shot.

  • June 15, 2006, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Red Steel, ect

    by Shigeru

    In the newest EGM they say the Red Steel preview at E3 kind of....sucked. So let&#39;s hope it gets better or they were wrong. *** Darth you have a PSP? Poor bastard. ;) *** And just cause a game stars Kirby instead of Method Man or *generic mixed-race gangster* doesn&#39;t mean that it&#39;s for kids or more juvenille. We have to remember we&#39;re talking about VIDEO GAMES here.

  • June 15, 2006, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I&#39;m sure there&#39;s something up their sleeve, Shigeru

    by rev_skarekroe

    Millar&#39;s almost always got something up his sleeve. I&#39;m a big fan of (most) of his writing, but I&#39;m not buying "Civil War" because I hate the pseudo-realistic approach being used to this extent in the mainstream Marvel U.

  • June 15, 2006, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Shigeru, did you READ ASM 532?

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Of course there was a story behind Peter taking off the mask. The man who has done everything for him and his family over the past year asks him to and his family decides it would be best, and Aunt May gives him a speech about responsibility. The reason he kept his identity secret for so many years was mostly for Aunt May&#39;s sake anyway, he didn&#39;t want her to die of shock.

  • June 15, 2006, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Prof on Man of Steel:

    by mbeemer

    "I personally did not know of anybody who was not thoroughly enjoying his run at the time." The first few issues were VERY controversial, with people bitching about everything you could think of. People grew to like it, but Byrne isn&#39;t just makin&#39; stuff up...

  • June 15, 2006, 11:34 a.m. CST

    I knew I would be getting crap about not reading ASM

    by Shigeru

    No I didn&#39;t read it. I haven&#39;t read ASM in a very long time (JMS&#39;s very very first arc which won an Eisner I think). I don&#39;t want to read about Iron Spiders with three gold stupid looking arms coming out of their backs and Spider Man being an Avenger and living with Captain America and Iron Man in literally a tower in the sky. I know Pete talked it over and Aunt Wrinkly May convinced him to do it or something. I just meant that in CIVIL WAR #2, the issue where it happened, it was out of the blue. And actually I don&#39;t really care if it was discussed in another issue, it&#39;s still dumb. The reason he had a secret identity was to protect the ones he loved, NOT from "dieing of shock" but from people that wish to harm Spider-Man, and there&#39;s plenty. Now we get Peter Parker indistinguishable from Spider-Man. No thanks. That&#39;s not to mention that if this is going to stick, it deserved it&#39;s own miniseries, not to be one in a multitude of "shocking" events about superhero registration. I would like this Civil War story a lot better with those pages stricken from the record. /endrant.

  • June 15, 2006, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Nope, not buyin&#39; it...nope...

    by superhero

    So Peter Parker becomes Tony Stark

  • June 15, 2006, 11:48 a.m. CST

    A far cry from there being no story behind it.

    by Engineer_at_peac

    It&#39;s a crossover event. Things will happen in one book that affect a different book.

  • June 15, 2006, 12:13 p.m. CST

    /startrant

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Just because JMS (who I normally love by the way, read Midnight Nation, bitches) wrote a story in which Aunt May told him it was O.K. to be a douchenozzle doesn&#39;t mean that&#39;s what he should or would do. He&#39;s been doing this for a long damn time. He&#39;s kept his ID secret for more than just the "dieing of shock" BS. He did it because he&#39;s better than us. He doesn&#39;t need to bask in the glory that he richly deserves. Even if he doesn&#39;t admit that to himself, it&#39;s the right thing to do. It&#39;s keeps him loved ones SAFER (they can&#39;t really be safe being in his life), and it&#39;s what Uncle Ben would have wanted. This is a BS stunt, and Fat Joey basically said as much in the damn press statement with his talk about "taboos" and doing things you don&#39;t expect. You know why we don&#39;t expect it, Joe? CAUSE IT&#39;S FUCKING STUPID! My 5 year old nephew understood why Peter kept his mask on. This is just moronic. Lucas the Hutt would balk at this kind of character defamation. I&#39;d call it bullshit, but you know, I&#39;d rather look at a beautifully drawn bowl of shit with Romita Jr. on pencils. I give the who Marvel team a hearty FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS!....asshats..../endrant (Yeah, I stole that device. It was a good one. Blow me.)

  • June 15, 2006, 12:25 p.m. CST

    You know what would be kind of cool?

    by Shigeru

    If in CW #3 Captain America has a bunch of dialogue that is pretty much transcripts of us fans bitching about how Spidey doing that was dumb.

  • June 15, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Shigeru.....you&#39;re a GENIUS!

    by GreatA'Tuin

    That is all.

  • June 15, 2006, 12:40 p.m. CST

    this is really a non-discussion

    by Arkhangelsk

    see, the fact that "spider-man revealed his secret identity" really has no intrinsic value in and of itself. it is but a plot point. what really matters is how it was written. and here&#39;s what i know about Spidey&#39;s writers. i sometimes love JMS and sometimes i do not care for him at all. Babylon 5 and Midnight Nation are some of the best stories ever written. then he&#39;s got some other stuff that i consider good but not much more, and then there&#39;s the just downright boring, ie his spider-man work. and as for Millar and/or Bendis, well they&#39;re just hacks with great connection and no real talent. honestly, i don&#39;t really care what happens to any character, as long as it&#39;s well written. and it obvioulsy isn&#39;t the case here.

  • June 15, 2006, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Ok, HERE is a good idea.

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Let&#39;s move the conversation in another direction. This is an essay I wrote a couple of months ago about the most powerful Superhero ever, and I&#39;m wondering your opinions on it. Young Clark Kent, Teenager, is plowing through his field one day when suddenly he strikes a rock. The Rock cracks, and the Wizard Merlin pops out telling him he has struck the rock of eternity, and that he is a boy of good soul, and will be infused with the power of Shazam. Clark doesn&#39;t know what that means, but doesn&#39;t have time to think, as he hears commotion in the house. He runs to the house to see local criminal Joe Chill shoot his parents in cold blood. Joe Chill runs away and Clark Kent grabs his father. Jonathen Kent reveals to Clark his true origin, that he is actually Kal-El from the planet Krypton and has amazing abilities for that reason. Then Jonathan says they raised him on a farm to give him strong values, but in actuality they are millionairre scientists and industrialists, the owners of KentCorp. Jonathan presses a button in his pocket revealing a secret lab as chemicals and devices pop out from the walls all over the house. He tells Clark that he leaves this all to him, but that&#39;s not all. Years ago an alien named Abin Sur landed on the farm and entrusted him with a power ring. He now entrusts this power ring to Clark, and tells him that it can do anything he can imagine, and that with great power, comes great responsibility. A spider in the lab escapes its cage and creeps on the grieving Clark. This spider has some kryptonite in its blood, because Jonathan was experimenting on it, trying to find a cure for kryptonite. It bites Clark, and at the same time a Bat flies through the window, frightening him. In fright, Clark shouts out "Shazam!" and a lightning bolt comes through the window, hitting some chemicals and Clark. The chain reaction from the chemicals grants him super-speed, and the lightning bolt of Shazam infuses him with the magic power of Shazam. Suddenly he finds he has the ability to shoot webs and stick to walls, as well as enhanced agility and a limited "sixth sense", in addition to the super-strength, speed, x-ray vision, heat vision, and flight he already had. He has one thing to say. "I must become a bat." Thus the GreenSuperCaptainBatFlashSpiderLanternMarvelMan is born. Would you buy a comic like this?

  • June 15, 2006, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Dear Engineer_at_peac

    by rockgolf

    No.

  • June 15, 2006, 1:22 p.m. CST

    If the Superboy punches seem lame or don&#39;t make sense..

    by Psynapse

    Then you&#39;re a dumbass with no understanding of Quantum Theory. Do a little reading on the works of say, Brian Green, or maybe Kip S. Thorne and get a grasp of what Quantum scientists are divining about the true (and very strange to anyone of a &#39;flat earth&#39; mentality) nature of OUR reality and you&#39;ll see that DC&#39;s explanation of their reality shifting isn&#39;t so dumb after all. If you wanna bitch about what DC&#39;s done bitch about the shitty production values that marred a LOT of their books throughout the whole Crisis bullshit because THAT is where you were scammed NOT in the execution of the plot. Get a clue you fucking dumbasses...

  • June 15, 2006, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Hmm

    by The Heathen

    more later

  • June 15, 2006, 1:56 p.m. CST

    The Duality of (Spider)-Man.

    by Buzz Maverik

    The reason superheroes work is that they are Jungian archetypes. Outsiders working for the common good. The best are limited human beings capable of performing superhuman feats...translated: just because yer a dumb geek doesn&#39;t mean there isn&#39;t greatness inside of you. I see the elimination of secret identities as the pros growing inability to relate to the real world and real people and the fans are accomplices. Of course, Quesada is a hypocrit. He&#39;ll keep talking about realism and character driven stories, but then he&#39;ll pull stunts. A public Spider-Man becomes a meaningless Spider-Man because he&#39;s no longer a regular schmuck doing the best he can outside of the costume. And it&#39;s not WHAT WE DON&#39;T EXPECT FROM MARVEL. We expect them to do stupid stunts, to have no clue and to badly disserve these characters that they INHEIRITED. We expect them to not understand their characters, and to provide us with poor fiction that the same kind of fans who ate up Liefield polybags in 1990 will eat up now.

  • June 15, 2006, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Whoa there Psynapse, relax

    by rev_skarekroe

    Get back on the meds, dude.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Great A

    by Shigeru

    Thank you. Luckily I like to use my powers for Good.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Civil War

    by Kronus316

    Not only is Spider-man acting completely out of character, but what about Ironman? He valued his secret identity as much as anyone, before he went public. Remember how Stark was constantly fighting the military over them wanting his armor technology, or the Armor Wars? What about Kurt Busiek

  • June 15, 2006, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Anyone get a GL ring yesterday?

    by Engineer_at_peac

    My comic shop was handing them out with GL Corps, but the guy gave me one for free. It&#39;s a cute little plastic ring, but the problem is whenever I try to conjure my willpower, it just shows images of Joel Schumaker&#39;s "Batman and Robin".

  • June 15, 2006, 2:30 p.m. CST

    As usual.....

    by Psynapse

    What Buzz said. WORD. Mutha-fukkin&#39; WOOOOOOOOOOORD. PS-Sorry Rev., stupidity this consistent DESERVES a rant.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    One last desperate bid for attention

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Superman/Batman political comics I made. Batman vs. Superman and the first amendment: http://tinyurl.com/mpcy5 Batman vs. Superman and the second amendment: http://tinyurl.com/q6e6d Batman vs. Superman, Seinfeld edition: http://tinyurl.com/nyfus I pray that you like at least one of these.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    The teeth gag is great.

    by vagrant's choice

    PUNISHER 34 was my favorite comic of last week.***The first OYL OUTSIDERS issue didn

  • June 15, 2006, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Engineer

    by Thalya

    BwaHaHaHaHaHA!!!

  • June 15, 2006, 2:38 p.m. CST

    That would be a God Laughs (at your pain) Ring

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Buzz, Why is it that no one but you can see the forest for the trees? I knew that they inherited the characters. Everyone knew they inherited the characters. Yet, not a single one of us plebians ever thought to say it like that. It makes every point I&#39;ve been trying to make. It&#39;s not their world, they&#39;re just house-sitting. FUCK! I guess that&#39;s why you&#39;re you, and I&#39;m just a turtle floating through the cosmos.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:42 p.m. CST

    turtles rule

    by Shigeru

  • June 15, 2006, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Engineer

    by Shigeru

    haha I loved the Seinfeld one... especially Martian Manhunter&#39;s cleavage! But seriously that was funny.

  • June 15, 2006, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Great A

    by Darth Kal-El

    was that a Dark Tower reference?

  • June 15, 2006, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Nope, Darth. But I&#39;ll give you a "Nonprize"...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    ...if you can tell me what book series it is from. Here&#39;s a hint: "Sometimes it&#39;s better to light a flamethrower, than to curse the darkness."

  • June 15, 2006, 3:33 p.m. CST

    A few thoughts...

    by vagrant's choice

    LAST PLANET STANDING is a lot of fun. Thank you Tom Defalco for continuing to bring the old school approach to superhero comics. And thanks for the Stranger

  • June 15, 2006, 3:41 p.m. CST

    you got me Atuin

    by Darth Kal-El

    i thought it was a tower reference or maybe IT. i dont know that other quote.please dont de-geek me!

  • June 15, 2006, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Actually Darth....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I&#39;d be shocked, SHOCKED I say, if you did. The Author is well-know in ONE circle, and it&#39;s not a very big circle. But he&#39;s written some of the funniest shit I&#39;ve ever read.

  • June 15, 2006, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Well goddammit GreatA....

    by Psynapse

    Spill already! Enquiring geeks wanna know! (goddammit)

  • June 15, 2006, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Since you asked so nicely...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Great A&#39;Tuin is from the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. It&#39;s a giant space turtle that has four nearly as giant elephants on it&#39;s shell and on their shoulders, gently rotating to evenly distribute the weight, is the Discworld. Obviously, we&#39;re talking about a cracked mind here. I can&#39;t phathom why I like it so much.

  • June 15, 2006, 5:13 p.m. CST

    I now name you all....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    denizens of my carapace.

  • June 15, 2006, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Thalya, I Think I See It Because...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...I&#39;m about the same age as the guys running Marvel on an editorial level and their higher end "creators". I know Rosie O&#39;Donnell sucks, but I know what she means when she says that she&#39;s only in awe of people who became famous before she grew up. I will mock Millar or Bendis, but I thought I had bragging rights around the @$$hole clubhouse because Tony Isabella and P. Craig Russell each e-ed me to say they liked my reviews of their work (POWER MAN for Tony and KILLRAVEN for Craig). And early into this @$$hole thing, I was on the moon because Byrne said on his message board that I wasn&#39;t a complete idiot because I got some of his ideas for LAB RATS. But Quesada, Millar, Bendis, whomever...they&#39;re just people like most of us who&#39;ve read the same comic books (or, sadly, haven&#39;t read comic books). That doesn&#39;t mean that if Steve Engelhart or Stan Lee did something stupid with Spidey that I&#39;d like it because I wouldn&#39;t. Guys like Quesada can mock us all they want, but these are our characters more than they are theirs. No, they didn&#39;t rape my childhood because my childhood smuggled in some cash and bought a shank off some bikers and was ready when it hit the yard. But I&#39;m not all that impressed with someone&#39;s job title. There&#39;s a dude I don&#39;t get along with very well over at Gail Simone&#39;s YABS Board named Ian Boothby (writes the SIMPSONS comics) but he nailed it when he called guys like Quesada/Millar etc. the equivalent of kids who come into the sandbox, play with the toys and leave &#39;em broken so no one else can play with &#39;em until their fixed.

  • June 15, 2006, 5:35 p.m. CST

    I Meant "they&#39;re fixed"...

    by Buzz Maverik

    not "their fixed". And I meant the toys, not the kids. Grammar, man. Grammar. And spellin&#39;.

  • June 15, 2006, 5:37 p.m. CST

    Then thou must in truth be Genbu...

    by Psynapse

    As a representative of Shiryu do I greet thee in respect....

  • June 15, 2006, 5:43 p.m. CST

    so say we all...er

    by Darth Kal-El

  • June 15, 2006, 5:45 p.m. CST

    yub yub?

    by Darth Kal-El

  • June 15, 2006, 6:06 p.m. CST

    BayouWilly and my dear Psynapse!

    by nofate

    Late reply for Bayou, but some people do have work. I really don&#39;t think it was necessary for me to put a spoiler warning on my post if the freaking New York Post ran a full page story on the ID reveal the day the comic came out. Unless you&#39;re new to AICN, that&#39;s kind of what their specialty is, spoilers. As far as a douchebag, meh, I&#39;ve been called worse. I&#39;ve missed you Psynapse.

  • June 15, 2006, 6:10 p.m. CST

    That Buzz. He&#39;s a smart one, I tell you what!

    by GreatA'Tuin

  • June 15, 2006, 6:10 p.m. CST

    GOALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by blackthought

  • June 15, 2006, 6:12 p.m. CST

    GOALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Darth Kal-El

    and thats 2 for us! ecuador is on fire baby!

  • June 15, 2006, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Y&#39;know what Nofate? I agree with you!

    by Psynapse

    Anyone kvetching about a lack of a spoiler warning on THE. WORST. KEPT. secret of the week seriously needs to get ahold of some Massengil and douche that sand out their vagina. *mwah!* Righ back at ya baby, right back at ya.....

  • June 15, 2006, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Thanks for that image, Psy.

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I think I need to douche my brain now.

  • June 15, 2006, 6:31 p.m. CST

    Oh GreatA...be afraid my child, be VERY afraid....

    by Psynapse

    For I am the Keeper of the Sacred Tasteless Joke and I shall visit many many obscenities upon the earth until I am slain or get over it (which is not bloody likely as I am the 13 year old who will never grow up). In truth, I have yet begun to truly be offensive, gimme a troll or some foo&#39;(yes Foo&#39; IS the proper way to say it!) who dares flame a Cog or @$$ and THEN you&#39;ll see something offensive. (*_^)

  • June 15, 2006, 6:32 p.m. CST

    psy is so fucking awesome

    by Darth Kal-El

  • June 15, 2006, 7:13 p.m. CST

    For example.....

    by Psynapse

    Q: What&#39;s the one pick up line you&#39;ll never hear in a gay bar? A: "Hi, can I push in your stool?"

  • June 15, 2006, 7:29 p.m. CST

    The Spidey thing is.........

    by ArchangelM78

    He made the best decision he could have made give the circumstances. He chose the lesser of 2 evils, but it won&#39;t be like that forever.....but I&#39;ll get to that in a second. First of all, read ASM 532. I picked up this issue, not because it was a CW tie-in(although, technically I did), but because I was curious to see how they were going to explain Spider-Man unmasking. Anyone who heard the chatter and hints, could have pieced together that Spider-Man would be unmasked. But how do you get your character to do something so "out of character" that people will understand? Simple. Give him no other choice. Spider-Man was faced with the fact that his duality would now cause more harm than good. If Peter refused to unmask he would become in the Marvel Universe the equivalent of an Al Quieda member(relax for a second talkbacker and you will see my point...). He would have to be forced to live in a cave (remember Peter does not know about the secret bunkers where Cap&#39;s resistance is hiding), have his accounts frozen(like terrorists), his family could be held/questioned indefinately because of their assosiation with him(again look at terrorists in our world) and would become a fugitive on the run from the government. Spidey is banking on the fact some have pointed out, that half his Rogues already know who he is, and with Stark&#39;s help(and the others) he could protect them from the rest. Aunt May also made a valiant point about real life heroes not wearing masks.... But like I said this also sets up other events that have been hinted. What is the one thing Joe Q has wanted to "fix" about Spider-Man? Some of you guessed it......his marriage to MJ. Marvel has hinted that one hero will switch sides during the conflict. Look at the cover for CW 2 and guess who that would be...yes kids! Spider-Man. But why? The answer again is in the pages. They are going to kill MJ(and possibly Aunt May)! With them gone, Spider-Man is forced to face the ramifications of his unmasking. Peter would never allow another hero to suffer the same fate. He would then turn his back on Stark(and that dreadful Red/Gold Spider-suit) and join Cap&#39;s resistance. This would accomplish Joe Q&#39;s ultimate goal, while giving our hero the most logical reason to switch sides. I have never wrote here before, but felt compelled since I saw no one come up with this. This is what will happen, and if you look you will see it too.

  • June 15, 2006, 7:42 p.m. CST

    I&#39;ll be the first to say that Archangel has a point

    by Clifford Brown

    A funeral IS expected... So who knows

  • June 15, 2006, 8:05 p.m. CST

    So Spider-Man is a coward...

    by superhero

    Who won&#39;t stand up to the US government when they&#39;re wrong about something? He&#39;ll just roll over because it&#39;s easier than standing up and saying "NO"? He&#39;ll go the easy route when all his life he&#39;s never done made easy choices but taken the hard road because it&#39;s the right thing to do? Yeah, that&#39;s a great point Archangel...sounds like the Spider-Man I&#39;ve known to grow and love through the years...ummm...no

  • June 15, 2006, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Thank you Marvel

    by mrfan

    Because of all the crap you put out I will no longer be buying your books. I will save money just like Geiko Insurance. Fuck Marvel.

  • June 15, 2006, 8:25 p.m. CST

    Really? A Coward....

    by ArchangelM78

    He is not faced with a choice that is easy. He chose what is right for his family. Like any man who is married or has kids or has is a cop/fire fighter/service member. It doesn&#39;t mean he agrees with this. He clearly has shown he doesn&#39;t. And even though he joined he will still not agree totally with this. I was a Marine. I went to Iraq and can tell you....people don&#39;t agree with this situation either. But they have a duty. To protect the US and their families. And while they might not agree with it, this is heroic. Spider-Man is heroic beacuse while he may not agree with it, he is doing what he feels is right for his family. This is the Spider-Man I grew up with. The difference is the probelms have changed. But Spider-Man is protecting his loved ones and will try to protect the other heroes from inside Stark&#39;s circle. It will be Spider-Man who will raise the question in Stark&#39;s group. He is doing this to make sure it is done the right way and no one gets hurt. This is heroic, Superhero. And until you have faced a choice like Spider-Man&#39;s, you are in no position to call him a coward.

  • June 15, 2006, 8:50 p.m. CST

    What you guys are not realizing...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    is that, sure, you can write a story and have all the logical reasons you want for him to de-mask-ilenise himself. The point is, Peter wouldn&#39;t do it. He wouldn&#39;t get him self into that situation, and if he was....HE WOULD FIGURE A FUCKING WAY OUT OF IT LIKE HE&#39;S DONE FOR THE PAST 40-SOME-ODD YEARS.

  • June 15, 2006, 9:01 p.m. CST

    by dan grendel

    Please tell me you didn&#39;t just ask Superhero to unmask his secret identity on the Talkback boards toprove he isn&#39;t a coward, Archangel.

  • June 15, 2006, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Psynapse compared wall punching to Quantum Theory

    by Tall_Boy

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • June 15, 2006, 9:12 p.m. CST

    OK, Psy...Heeeere&#39;s the pitch!

    by GreatA'Tuin

    On today&#39;s menu: Tall Boy.

  • June 15, 2006, 9:52 p.m. CST

    What Byrne should have done...

    by MrBoinfoint

    Just say whatever he wants regardless of how it&#39;s taken because no one else&#39;s opinion really matters. Who cares what other people think? Who cares if other people like him? Who wants to be liked by other people? Other people are idiots. Smiley smiley smiley. Also, I don&#39;t know about anyone else but watching JoeyQ and Millar crash and burn the Marvel universe and it&#39;s characters is pretty damn entertaining, like watching plastic surgery disasters on the Discovery Health Channel.

  • June 15, 2006, 10:35 p.m. CST

    John Byrne is not pleased with Superman Returns

    by Engineer_at_peac

    http://tinyurl.com/gxzr4 His quote: "f you can&#39;t see the difference between a Superman who makes a decision based on what he has learned from his upbringing as a human on Earth (he ignores his biological father&#39;s warning -- he heeds the sage council of his adoptive, human father), and a Superman who is tricked by his arch enemy into deserting the planet his has sworn to protect, then I&#39;d say Christopher Reeve&#39;s performance is not an issue. As you note, you have not seen Brandon Routh&#39;s performance, yet you are prepared to cut this new movie all kinds of slack in order to end up with a Superman who feels "right". Sadly, you do not seem to be alone in this. As with Spider-Man, as with the X-Men, Hollywood has once again gutted the mythology, but self-declared "fans" a eager to race to the theater and reward them for doing so. And you know what? I&#39;m tired of it. I&#39;m fed up with it. I am sick to death of opening this thread and finding post after post that clearly shows me that I, and those who think like me, have been wasting our time for the past twenty, thirty, forty years, working on superhero comics. None of the lessons we have tried to teach have sunk in. Superman can desert the Earth. Lois can have a bastard kid. Doesn&#39;t matter. Just make it fast and loud and shiny. No more. I&#39;m shutting down this thread. If you want to discuss this movie, find somewhere else to do it. Such chatter is no longer welcome here."

  • June 15, 2006, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Prof on Man of Steel...

    by Prof Challenger

    Mbeemer wrote above: "&#39;I personally did not know of anybody who was not thoroughly enjoying his run at the time.&#39; The first few issues were VERY controversial, with people bitching about everything you could think of. People grew to like it, but Byrne isn&#39;t just makin&#39; stuff up..." ==== ==== To which, let me point out that I never said Byrne was "makin&#39; stuff up" about the reaction to MAN OF STEEL. What I SAID was that was his PERCEPTION of what was happening and then I shared MY personal recollection whereby my PERCEPTION was the opposite. In other words, I was pointing out, based on what he said in the interview, that over those three years he worked on SUPERMAN, he "felt" like he did not have the support of the fans OR from DC corporate. And I wanted to point out that this may have been his "perception" from where he was at at that time, but as one of many at that time that were just down in the trenches buying and enjoying those funnybooks, my "perception" and that of my circle of friends at that time was that he was hitting on all cylinders and we had no complaints. That is, until he bolted right in the middle of an extremely important turning point story leaving us fans scratching our heads wondering WTF??? And given the context in which I was writing the review, I think that was a perfectly legitimate thing to point out.

  • June 16, 2006, 3:28 a.m. CST

    by dregmobile

    "in CW #3 Captain America has a bunch of dialogue that is pretty much transcripts of us fans bitching about how Spidey doing that was dumb." LOL. ***** Psynapse ... no, I still think Superboy punching into another dimension or reality is pretty dumb. Doomsday punching through all that steel I get. But I&#39;m still confident about using the word &#39;dumb&#39; to describe a lot about DC&#39;s IC. However I am getting the feeling that the worst is now over ... ***** Buzz Maverick - wow, I hope I&#39;m as smart as you one day. Because unfortunately right now I&#39;m loving CW. Don&#39;t have much time to type before my carers pick me up in the van ... have to be quick ... damn. Drooling onto my shoulder again. Shit. Anyway, I love the action. Yeah, the ass shot was tasteless. One thing I&#39;m a little concerned about though is the pace, which is starting to feel like the rushed narrative we got in those 7 IC issues. I&#39;m hoping other tie-in issues will show more of what&#39;s going on. But still, this and book one are great. But then ... maybe I only see them as great coz I&#39;m stupid, in the way that people write &#39;coz&#39; instead of typing out &#39;because&#39;. ***** Anyone checked out Mouse Guard by David Petersen? Very cool/cute little series. ***** Wonder Woman 1 was ok. Not blown away by it or anything. Won&#39;t buy 2 unless it looks fantastic. Now to try out this Hero Squared ...

  • June 16, 2006, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Actually, Superhero Has Been Faced With Choices ...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...like Spider-Man&#39;s. He doesn&#39;t like to talk about it, but in fact, one of Superhero&#39;s late girlfriends was cloned by a maniac in a laughing hyena suit. The chick was disorientied whenever she was around Superhero and zombified whenever the maniac and one of his henchmen showed up. The worst part was that Superhero himself was also cloned. Superhero had to chose between stopping the maniac and saving an ancillary character in his life (me!) who was trussed up to a bomb in Shea stadium. I hope you&#39;re happy, Archangel, because you&#39;ve brought up a painful incident in Superhero&#39;s life that he&#39;s worked hard to put behind him. Then, there was the time that the bald, fat Mafia guy forced the sand guy to steal a secret weapon and Superhero froze him.

  • June 16, 2006, 4:04 a.m. CST

    And No One Should Feel Bad For Being Stupid.

    by Buzz Maverik

    Somebody has to fetch the rest of us drinks and toss those skeet when we yell, "Pull!" But next time, when I order a shot of tequila, I mean tequila, not rum. Just pour from the pretty bottle with the Spanish writing on it that starts with "H".

  • June 16, 2006, 7:53 a.m. CST

    What I most want most from CW...

    by vagrant's choice

    What I most want most from CW is new armor for Iron Man. That suit is jacked up. No one can draw it and make it look good. And most artists make the face plate look like a beak. Iron Bird is more like it.

  • June 16, 2006, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Prof - whatever...

    by mbeemer

    <sigh> I was pointing out that Byrne&#39;s "perceptions" didn&#39;t come out of pure fantasy, not accusing you of accusing him of something. You and your friends may not have had any complaints, but they were out there, very vocally.

  • June 16, 2006, 8:22 a.m. CST

    My main beef with Civil War so far

    by Engineer_at_peac

    In the main Civil War series, nothing is happening. Instead, we&#39;ve got characters TELLING us that stuff is happening. Instead of seeing heroes capture the likes of Vulture, or destroying the Doombot, or forming rebel teams, we see the heroes saying "We sure did destroy that doombot", and "here comes another supercriminal, I think they must be making a rebel team!" We did get to actually see SOME stuff happen like the unmasking or Patriot&#39;s escape, but to be quite honest, I found the patriot&#39;s capture and escape kind of boring. Is it too much to want some action in a comic book? I&#39;ve picked up four Civil war books so far. ASM 532, Civil War 1 and 2, Frontline 1, and the latest Thunderbolts. Out of all of those, only one issue actually had considerable action, the Thunderbolts.

  • June 16, 2006, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Re: Byrne&#39;s thoughts on Superman Returns

    by Shigeru

    Shut the hell up you cranky old bastard. Get a life you crazy douchehole. My favorite line from that: "...clearly shows me that I, and those who think like me, have been wasting our time for the past twenty, thirty, forty years, working on superhero comics." Just cause people like the movie (what we&#39;ve seen). Nigga please.

  • June 16, 2006, 10:41 a.m. CST

    I cut him some slack

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Since he essentially created the modern-age Superman in the man of steel reboot, sO I think he has more of a right to get upset than many. But I have no idea what he is talking about when it comes to the X-men and spider-man movies. Spider-man had it&#39;s problems, but I didn&#39;t think any of the characters were horribly changed too far from their origins or mischaracterized. Virtually the only thing they really changed a lot was replacing Gwen with MJ. The X-men movie was very different from the comics, but the gist of the characters and how they behaved seemed right to me, with a few minor exceptions(and all three movies seemed like they had only watched the animated series).

  • June 16, 2006, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Oh and Peter

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Peter went from being a scientific genius who invents things to just being a very smart student interested in science. But that really isn&#39;t a shocking or damaging change if you ask me.

  • June 16, 2006, 10:51 a.m. CST

    I understand that you are a Marine Archangel...

    by superhero

    But you&#39;re seriously on this board equating Spidey&#39;s choice with your commitment to go to Iraq???? I&#39;m not putting you down, as a matter of fact I respect you IMMENSELY for what you did and thank you for it (although I do not support the war in Iraq...never will) but there is a difference in you and Spidey (despite the obvious fact that Spidey is fictional and you are supposedly real). Spider-Man is not a government agent/soldier/spy. When you made your commitment to the Marines you made a commitment to the government and the military for whatever reasons you saw fit. Spider-Man NEVER said he&#39;d sign up to be a SHIELD stooge (the Marines are not stooges...that&#39;s not what I mean) to hunt down other heroes who are as honorable as he is. The only reason they&#39;re being hunted down is because they don&#39;t want to be regulated not because they&#39;ve done anything bad per se. Spidey NEVER made the deal that you and thousands of others have. He&#39;s been an independent hero with no ties to anyone except his new "daddy" figure Tony Stark who now apparently dictates everything Parker does. My point being that the choice to go to Iraq and the choice that Spider-Man made are completely different. The Iraq War and Marvel&#39;s Civil War are COMPLETELY different cricumstances. You were not hunting down your own citizens in the streets of New York were you? At least I hope not. new York hasn&#39;t changed that much since I lived there has it? Oh, and way to go Buzz...thanks for bringing up that cloning thing. Man, I TOLD you not to bring that stuff up...it still stings when I think of it..."sniff"...

  • June 16, 2006, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Byrne and Supes

    by Shigeru

    Yeah he definitely made an impact, and I could see how that would get him a lot more attached to the character than the average joe. But I&#39;m tempted to go all Buzz Maverick here and say he didn&#39;t "create" crap. He played with someone else&#39;s creation, and he&#39;s one of MANY. (But actually I would say that Byrne and anyone else who works on a book is a creator since they are creating new stories not told before...but anyways...)

  • June 16, 2006, 11:54 a.m. CST

    How about some cynicism?

    by Thalya

    How much does anyone wanna bet that Mary Jane dies sometime within the next 12 months to coincide either with the hype or the opening of Spider-Man 3, especially since Kirsten Dunst wants out of the franchise at the same time that they&#39;re bringing in a Gwen Stacy? (Look! Just like in the comics!) I mean, the X-Men did go black leather for awhile, right?

  • June 16, 2006, 12:02 p.m. CST

    The problem with MJ and/or Aunt May biting it:

    by Shigeru

    I would not like this to happen, as I like both of those characters. However it seems likely. And the theory presented by an above TB&#39;er about Spidey switching sides due to the deaths also seems likely. That&#39;s just dandy, but it&#39;s too late, everyone knows he&#39;s Peter Parker. If he joined the registration side, did NOT reveal his ID, MJ + May got axed, and then he switched....that I would be more okay with. But this ID thing... man o man.

  • June 16, 2006, 12:09 p.m. CST

    AND ANOTHER THING! (I&#39;m on a roll here)

    by Shigeru

    It seems like this Civil War thing would be a lot better if we could actually root for the pro-registration side as well as Cap and his rebels. Millar kept saying that both sides would be sympathetic, but right now the pro-reg side is looking pretty bad. I mean the SHIELD goons are all dicks who first try to take down Captain America, and then shoot Partiot with a thousand tranqs and then blow him up. Oh and they&#39;re building a top-secret Gulag for them. Hm.

  • June 16, 2006, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Adding on...

    by Thalya

    Anti-goverment/Rage Against the Machine chic is so 1999. It&#39;s obvious the only real ending to Civil War is that the registration act is gonna get taken down by the renegades (whose numbers are going to swell and may end up including Tony Stark (the dick who will come to see the error of his ways -- aw, how cute!) by #7). Talk aout predictable. Wouldn&#39;t it be nice for the Freedom Fighters to be seen as the bad guys for once, or would that be too much of a self-inflicted wound on the viewpoints of the author? Oi weh..

  • June 16, 2006, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Dear Tall_Boy....

    by Psynapse

    You think I&#39;m fuckin&#39; funny, huh? How&#39;m I funny?? Am I funny like the feeling you get in yer belly when one of the adults of your inbred clan bends you over for one of your thrice-weekly sessions of back-door lovin&#39;? Am I funny like the way yer momma&#39;s doctor laughed the first time he saw her nude because he swore she was a conjoined twin upon seeing her face and ass? Or am I funny like some dipshit (That would be you, Son) who talks shit but can&#39;t say a single. fucking. thing. to back up the shit he&#39;s talking? BY ALL MEANS, quote me what knowledge you have of QM that makes my post so laughable. Go for it,dumbass, because there was a reason I cited Brian Green specifically but then you&#39;d know that if you knew jack shit about what you&#39;re spouting your noise tube about. ***Oh and Dreg...let&#39;s just say it this way then: They were in a continuum that conformed in every manner to their conscious thoughts (and perhaps a few unconscious ones as well) and the thing about alternate realities is that they are all still connected regardless of differentials in the continuums themselves. He was punching on the walls of reality (spacetime) itself. Spacetime is finite and does have boundaries. Any object that would be (theoretically like everything else including the sapience of Tall_Boy) capable of impacting it could very well alter the very structure of it.

  • June 16, 2006, 12:47 p.m. CST

    ....

    by blackthought

  • June 16, 2006, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Everytime I read his post it just reminds me of this

    by Engineer_at_peac

    www.theonion.com/content/node/25842

  • June 16, 2006, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Spider-man and Wife

    by vagrant's choice

    Didn

  • June 16, 2006, 2:18 p.m. CST

    yeah but

    by Shigeru

    JoeyQ said a divorced spider-man would be worse than a widowed spider-man.

  • June 16, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Witness protection program?

    by Engineer_at_peac

    That seems to me to be the number one way to seperate them without having a divorce or death. MJ is a supermodel, but not THAT famous of a supermodel. She could be given a new look, identity, hell, probably a new face by SHIELD and placed in protection in Europe. Or, presuming Peter turns on the registration side, she could be arrested.

  • June 16, 2006, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Hey I just realized something...

    by Psynapse

    Comics usually get a bad rap for being &#39;dumber&#39; than their readers. DC&#39;s continuum shift(s) to explain their continuity has reversed this paradigm completely. This time it&#39;s not the book that is dumb but it&#39;s readers. Then again, we ARE dropping like a rock in the arena of scientific proficiency worldwide. Huh....

  • June 16, 2006, 3 p.m. CST

    More of a Kathy Ireland

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Not exactly a household name anymore and I probably wouldn&#39;t recognize her walking down the street. I&#39;ll admit, I&#39;m not as well versed on Spiderman as you, I&#39;ve been picking up and reading every essential that comes out, saw the whole animated series, and started picking up the comics recently, but exactly how big of a "supermodel" was MJ, and what has she done lately in the field? Iman is a "supermodel" but I don&#39;t really see much of her anymore.

  • June 16, 2006, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Well, there hasn&#39;t been a Mary Jane: Supermodel book

    by superhero

    So I&#39;m assuming she&#39;s semi-famous but not Cindy Crawford in her heyday famous. Maybe she&#39;s more like a Linda Evangelista type. Like you know the face but not necessarily who she is and maybe not even recognize her on the street without her hair and makeup.

  • June 16, 2006, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Of course she&#39;ll be more famous NOW

    by Engineer_at_peac

    Being married to Spider-man. But wtiness protection still seems like a good option that both keeps her safe and splits her and Peter without killing or divorcing them, like JQ doesn&#39;t want to do. They could just rip her face off, like in Face-off.

  • June 16, 2006, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Wonder Woman #1....

    by Psynapse

    Y&#39;know what I noticed? While Dodson certainly gives Donna a nice rack in every depiction of Diana he shows you clearly who&#39;s got the ah, more abundant pair, shall we say.

  • June 17, 2006, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Oh and on JSA....

    by Psynapse

    I guess we just read it differently but I enjoyed it for what it was. A good old fashioned tale of a battle between a villain and his enemies. I&#39;m liking a lot for the simply fact that it doesn&#39;t taste anything like Infinite Crisis which did such a wonderful job of making me feel burned as a consumer of DC&#39;s product (though not for the story, merely the consistent craptacular and shoddy workmanship that marred the entire situation in the final few issues). Plus after having my eyes scarred repeatedly by Jimenez&#39; far (FAR!) too manly rendition of Power Girl it&#39;s nice to see an artist who doesn&#39;t forget the girl behind the power. (Phil baby, I have nothing but love, respect, and admiration for pretty much your entire body of work but that was WRONG dude, &#39;cause you made her a dude, see?)

  • June 17, 2006, 12:03 a.m. CST

    *Looks for edit button*

    by Psynapse

    Dammit. I can&#39;t type for shit when tired...

  • June 17, 2006, 11:28 p.m. CST

    With one deft stroke...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Fat Joe and Co. have made Marvel suck. Like totally, and completely suck. I&#39;ll still read it, because I&#39;m a glutton for punishment. (Hell, I still watch pro-wrestling.) But that does not erode it&#39;s sucktitude. Stupid sucky Joe Quesadilla. /pout

  • June 18, 2006, 12:33 a.m. CST

    In other news..

    by Thalya

    Superman rocks

  • June 18, 2006, 3:41 a.m. CST

    MJ: people know her

    by dan grendel

    Just a note on how famous MJ is as a model- was reading SPIDER-MAN/HUMAN TORCH again the other day (yes, once again Dan Slott understands Marvel, and it doesn&#39;t involve unmasking heroes and making Iron Man fight Cap to the death for the cheering crowds of politicians) and MJ drops off Peter&#39;s lunch at the school where he teaches. One of the girls is reading Vogue, where MJ is not posing on the cover but is in fact the SUBJECT of the cover, and is lamenting that they are stuck with the Torch, and can&#39;t have anyone really famous like Mary Jane Watson. In fact, when MJ walks by, the entire assembly of kids knows who she is. That&#39;s right, supermodel. Not just just Spider-Man&#39;s wife.

  • June 18, 2006, 1:46 p.m. CST

    "Superman rocks"

    by Psynapse

    Did you get to see an earlearly screening T? Color me envious then, I thought I was 10 kinds of cool because I&#39;m going to a free screening (it pays to have been a loyal customer of the same LCS for the last 15 years) the night before. Do tell, m&#39;dear...(*_^)

  • June 18, 2006, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Civil War and Spiderman SPOILERS

    by mattb127

    Dude, honest to god, my first reaction was, "Well, that&#39;s pretty sweet." Then I blinked. What the hell?!! WHY would he do that? WHY would he basically put a target on MJ&#39;s head and little old Aunt May? Why wouldn&#39;t he have just said, "I&#39;m out. I&#39;m retiring." and take a third way, between Cap and Iron Man? And since when did Tony Stark become a yes man for Mr. G?

  • June 19, 2006, 9:28 a.m. CST

    No, Psy..

    by Thalya

    While my interest is building in seeing Superman Returns (while still not having seen X-Men 3), I&#39;m talking about the Superman/Action arc. Wow! In the past I haven&#39;t even been lukewarm on Superman, but this is just awesome awesome fun!

  • June 19, 2006, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Civil War: Joey Q, Spider-Man, X-Men after the movie.

    by The Heathen

    First off, Quesada said for months that he was going to kill Speedball. He hated Speedball, there&#39;s nothing good about him as a character and wah, wah he&#39;s as good as dead. Right? Wrong, as Civil War: Frontline #1 showed. Quesada then say&#39;s, "Oh, I fooleded you&#39;s guy&#39;s!!! I love Speedball. Expect dee unexpected from him in da future!" Here&#39;s what he said about Spidey and MJ. (paraphrased) "You can&#39;t kill MJ or have her divorce or cheat on Peter. You just can&#39;t. It won&#39;t happen." That my friends, is your guarantee that MJ is a goner. It&#39;s Quesada&#39;s version of reverse psychology. "Hey! I&#39;ll say one ting, and den I&#39;ll do dee exact opposite! Nobody&#39;s will catch on!!!" Weak. *** As for Spider-Man. I haven&#39;t read ASM #532, but I did read the issue before that, you know, the one where Peter knew that Iron Man had hired that guy to try and kill them and then Tony straight up lied to Peter in his face and Pete knew that, but

  • June 19, 2006, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Daredevil isn&#39;t out of prison for CIVIL WAR.

    by SleazyG.

    That&#39;s the replacement Daredevil currently running around in Brubaker&#39;s arc. You can tell cuz he&#39;s doing that thing where he flips a quarter over his knuckes. Gee, I wonder if that&#39;s a hint as to his identity?

  • June 19, 2006, 12:31 p.m. CST

    What the..

    by Thalya

    ..fug? Weird. That&#39;s twice in this TB that things others have said have been attributed to me. First Buzz (see Great A&#39;Tuin), now Heathen (see Engineer_at_peac). I&#39;m not complaining so much as I just want the guys who said those things to get proper credit.

  • June 19, 2006, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Oops! My bad people.

    by The Heathen

    Thalya, what can I say

  • June 19, 2006, 1:21 p.m. CST

    SleazyG

    by Shigeru

    Who are you thinking? Two-Face?

  • June 19, 2006, 2:30 p.m. CST

    If MJ were Kathy Ireland-level...

    by SleazyG.

    ...I wouldn&#39;t just recognize her, I&#39;d sprain my neck watching her go by. Kathy was in an extended streak of SI swimsuit issues when I was in junior high and high school, and was in my top 5 for a very long time as a result. Say what you will about her K-Mart clothes, but she&#39;s still fine as hell.

  • June 19, 2006, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Urgent breaking news/poll on Spidey unmasked:

    by SleazyG.

    I dunno if any of you watch G4 or not, but anybody who&#39;s ticked off by the unmasking should go to g4tv.com. If you go to the page for "Attack Of The Show" they&#39;re doing a poll on this subject, with a show to follow in the next day or two where they&#39;re doing a segment. I can&#39;t give you too many more details until later, but I think you&#39;ll wanna check it out. Go ASAP and vote--the segment tapes in a few hours, and they&#39;re gonna mention the numbers in the piece.

  • June 19, 2006, 3:37 p.m. CST

    sleazy

    by Shigeru

    answer my question!

  • June 19, 2006, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Attack of the Show!

    by The Heathen

    Tonight 7 PM Eastern. Spidey is going to be the discussion in the &#39;Loop&#39; opening segment. Blair Butler actually reviews comics on Attack of the Show every Thursday in her Fresh Ink! feature. Check those out, it&#39;s the only place on television for comic reviews I&#39;ve seen and she has pretty good taste

  • June 19, 2006, 3:52 p.m. CST

    It&#39;s true: Harvey Dent is the new Daredevil.

    by SleazyG.

    Also, when the Marvel U. becomes too hot for Spider-Man to stick around, he moves to the WildStorm Universe and becomes Blood Spider.

  • June 19, 2006, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Will Liefeld draw him?

    by The Heathen

    Blood Spider!!!!!!

  • June 19, 2006, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Blood Spider? It&#39;s been done

    by rev_skarekroe

    http://tinyurl.com/q44p6

  • June 19, 2006, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Hero Squared #1

    by dregmobile

    was a good read. not great or anything. i thought the banter between booster gold and blue beetle and friends in those jla: classified issues were more entertaining than here. but i will probably put up cash for the second issue. something that won&#39;t happen for wonder woman #2. more i think about that first issue i bought and read, the more i just think it&#39;s this flashy piece of trash. i didn&#39;t gain anything from that comic (that&#39;s right - not even a hard-on!). couldn&#39;t care enough about flash to buy that first issue, either. though the cover looks amazing ... ***** looking forward to reading justice #6 this week.

  • June 19, 2006, 8:43 p.m. CST

    Dammit! K, how about Death Spider?

    by SleazyG.

    Or Spider Blow? How about Deathblood Blowspider? C&#39;mon, work with me: it&#39;ll be like my favorite hair metal band, Great White Lion Snake!

  • June 19, 2006, 10:55 p.m. CST

    (not to be confused with...

    by Arkhangelsk

    ArchangelM78, no disrespect dude, quite the contrary) Psy, your explanation of the Superboy punch almost makes me want to buy the IC tpb. but i won&#39;t. cause i used to read some DC back in the days. Teen Titans, Green Arrow, Outsiders. but that was back when those comics were actual stories in and of themsleves. once every goddamn DC book became nothing more than a Crisis tie-in, i left. now i mostly sing the virtues of Marvel titles, but if Brubaker&#39;s Cap Am / DD or Joss&#39; AXM become nothing more than Civil War tie-ins, i&#39;d drop them too. i&#39;m actually reading House Of M right now (someone i know lent them to me) to back up my claim that Bendis is a hack with connections, and boy does it suck. no pacing. no dialogue. no characterization (his Wolverine is even more stereotyped than Ennis&#39;). no actual ideas (Cyclops speech just before the battle, about not holding back, was the lamest ever. oooh we&#39;re morally ambiguous! how clever). and then a glimmer of hope: Cyclops says "Three Teams" allright some thoughtful action, combat strategies. but no. one team is Dr. Strange (one guy is not a team). White Queen / Layla / Cloak. also not a team. and then everybody else. lame. the only thing i&#39;d remotely give Bendis is he can sometimes come up with interesting plot points. but then that&#39;s the problem. comicbookdom is obsessed with FUCKING PLOT POINTS. Supes would never do this, this is out of character for Spidey FUCK THAT. who cares. tell me a good story and i&#39;ll listen. ----------speaking of good stories, somebody hit me with some good indies to read. i used to be known at my LCS as the weird indie guy who bought Cerebus, Strangers In Paradise, Stray Bullets et al., but now i&#39;m down to Mouse Guard and nothing else. suggestions anyone ?

  • June 20, 2006, 12:10 a.m. CST

    Re:Heathen & media influence on comics

    by kisskissbangbang

    Heathen, while I generally agree that comics should be the primary influence on media versions of the characters & not vice versa, sometimes major contributions to a comics mythos come from its media incarnations. Both Kryptonite & Jimmy Olsen came from the radio version of Superman, not to mention "Look! Up in the sky...", "Faster than a speeding bullet", & "A never-ending struggle for...& the American Way", all of which are now well-beloved parts of the tradition.

  • June 20, 2006, 4:33 a.m. CST

    back from vegas

    by Darth Kal-El

    im gone for a few days and this is what happens?!!im playing peoples glad to hear the discussion is strongly under way. so far i havent picked up a single civil war issue and im also not buying the tie ins because frankly, goddamnit! im tired of these lame ass crossovers!just from what people on the board are saying i think im doing ok by wating to read it a year down the line at barnes or the library.but is it just me though? are we still buying into these fucking &#39;events&#39; like they really are worth the name? here&#39;s what i mean-i went to the LCS today and only bought one thing-my monthly copy of 100 bullets.i read it and as always the art was top notch. but i was confused about the specific details of the story. it just seemed like it would make more sense if i read the entire story arc in one sitting.i had to go back through my boxes and hunt down the first 3 parts of the current arc which still left me a bit confused so had to skim throuhg my trades of the series.is it just me?i only bought the one comic because i figured id wait for trade on a lot of the other issue &#39;3&#39; or issue &#39;4&#39; "YOU MUST READ" comics that where out there. is my mentality about this shit just becoming jaded again?i want to hear some honest feedback about this because i fucking love comics! i always have and im sure i always will(old dog new tricks you know how it goes)but i was in my LCS today and i could only pick out one comic i wanted to take home with me.am i not looking hard enough?i dont want things like house of m and how i feel about this new civil war thing to make me a cynical bastard about a medium i fucking love.i have a FUCKING SWEET Magneto statue my brother and sister bought me for xmas(http://tinyurl.com/qmvjv) and my girl asked me what it meant when i got it. i was like, &#39;its Magneto hes this cool ass villian on the x-men whos the master of magnetism and....etc followed by more etc&#39;.then she asked me if he was in the comics i read. sadly, i answered "I dont know. i cant read x-men comics now a days theyre fucking lame"

  • June 20, 2006, 4:47 a.m. CST

    oh btw

    by Darth Kal-El

    missed u Cogs!glad to see everyone was in full effect.vale and blackthought are excused because its world cup! and yo!i put a hundred bucks on ecuador for tomorrows game! wish me some muthufuggin luck babys!other things on my mind-good to see dreg and great atuin still in the place.and of course the @-holes are doing their thing-sorry about the &#39;cloning&#39; incident superhero,dont worry man us cogs got battle scars too

  • June 20, 2006, 10:05 a.m. CST

    re: kisskissbangbang

    by The Heathen

    your absolutely correct. I guess it was the fact that I was unhappy with the X-Men for years and whenever I would take a peak all I would see is the sets from the movie and leather costumes. Also, I liked the first movie, but I didn&#39;t think it was worthy of adapting the comics to fit it&#39;s form. It wasn&#39;t a &#39;kryptonite.&#39; But, yeah, I totally spaced on the things you mentioned. Thanks for keeping me in check. : )

  • June 20, 2006, 10:17 a.m. CST

    That statues sweet, Darth

    by The Heathen

    You can tell your girl that he is in the comics you read

  • June 20, 2006, 10:51 a.m. CST

    About Attack of the Show&#39;s, The Loop segment

    by The Heathen

    How come none of the @$$holes told us they&#39;d be on the panel?!?! Btw, which one of you is Nick Harris? Well, whoever you are I&#39;d like to commend you for saying the part about the characters bending themselves to the story, instead of the stories bending themselves to the character. Awesome. Well done. And another thing for Marvel, specifically Quesada and now Axel Alonso: You better give your fans, the hardcore ones too, some fucking respect or acceptance instead of constantly alienating them (not just in stories) because when it comes down to it, they&#39;re the ones who are in it for the long haul and it really bothers me that one of the big two comics publishers has such little concern for their fan base. I love a lot of Marvl titles still (Astonishing, Cap, Runaways) but I honestly thought of dropping everything and I mean EVERYTHING from Marvel last night.

  • June 20, 2006, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Sleazy

    by The Heathen

    you&#39;re Nick right? Did anybody watch the show? Oh, and about Kathy Ireland. I used to have a poster of her on my wall and watched Necessary Roughness way more than I should have, but she&#39;s still doing the K-Mart thing. But like I said, Mary Jane won&#39;t even make it to the sweat shops before she&#39;s dead so it doesn&#39;t matter really.

  • June 20, 2006, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Tuesdays

    by The Heathen

  • June 20, 2006, 12:08 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m here.

    by Shigeru

    I&#39;m just lurking. /lurk.

  • June 20, 2006, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I watched the show...

    by superhero

    And Axel Alonso really, REALLY came so close to just outright insulting longtime fans that I was just stunned. They really just don&#39;t give a shit about hardcore fans do they? Wow. Sad. I mean, who do they think is buying the majority of their books? Teenagers? I think not. You&#39;d have to go to the manga section of your local Borders to find those kids and they&#39;d be all buying just that, manga. I swear...all those DC/Marvel books look so lonely on the shelf in Barnes and Nobel and Borders while the kids flock to the manga shelves. My point being...who the hell does Axel Alonso think are going to be the ones passing down Marvel books to the next generation??? Not THEM because their sales tactics suck! It&#39;s US...the fans who&#39;ve been around for ages who&#39;ll be passing the comic-book reading baton to our kids. And if Marvel thinks that by saying we don&#39;t matter that that&#39;s going to get me to give my kid an X-Men book he is sorely mistaken. Wow. Marvel really doesn&#39;t care...that&#39;s OK because that whole Spidey unmasking thing is the kind of shortsightedness that brought us the Clone Saga and fans&#39;ll just be screaming for Spidey to hide himself from the public again much like Iron Man has so many times...

  • June 20, 2006, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Save your money Arkh....

    by Psynapse

    And buy a Fables trade or something else worthwhile. IC will not only piss you off from the crappy-assed production fuck ups but Jimenez&#39; Power Girl will downright scar you. And you KNOW what a DC whore I am so it oughtta mean something coming from me. To be honest, if it weren&#39;t for Fables, Runaways, The Great and Secret Show, and Astonishing X-Men, Infinite Crisis would have disgusted me enough to walk away from comics for good. Seriously, I had a 2 week debate with myself to decide because I felt that cheated and scammed by the whole thing. And that&#39;s the Infinite Crisis shebang in a nutshell: Great (downright brilliant AND truly novel) idea, absolutley piss-poor and downright shitty execution that wasn&#39;t limited to the series but also several of their monthlies.

  • June 20, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Didn&#39;t see the show...

    by Psynapse

    But if anyone can get me something personal (even a napkin they&#39;ve used) of either Alonso or Quesada&#39;s I can make sure they suffer big time....&#39;Course I&#39;ll probably have to kill a chicken (or a goat) to do it....

  • June 20, 2006, 1:03 p.m. CST

    /twitch

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I just drove 23 hours from O.C., California to Seattle. Then got on a plane and flew back. My hands are shaking, my eye is twitching, the little spot in my brain right behind my left eye is pulsing with fire, and I have an urge to cut something.****On the plus side, I went into a B&N on the way up and looked at some of the Trades they had in stock. Question for the learned, Is 7 Soldiers of Victory worth a purchase?

  • June 20, 2006, 1:11 p.m. CST

    Ah, Axel...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...never do in three issues what you can stretch the life out of in six.

  • June 20, 2006, 1:25 p.m. CST

    NOOOOOO!!!!

    by Darth Kal-El

    why ecuador why?!!!well there goes a hundred bucks...*grumble,grumble,razzinfrazzinggermany*

  • June 20, 2006, 1:30 p.m. CST

    RIGHT ON, superhero!!!

    by The Heathen

    I couldn&#39;t believe Alonso. This is the worst business strategy I&#39;ve ever heard of. "We&#39;re not interested in what the hardcore fans have to say, we want people who&#39;ve never read a comic to buy Civil War." Great, just super fantastic. Do they really think that some lawyer or accountant or plumber or pizza delivery boy is really going to devote themsleves to buying Marvel comics indefinitely after Civil War? The odds are about as good as successfully navigating through an asteroid field AND they sure as hell don&#39;t have Han Solo flying their ship. Ridiculous. *** GreatA, why the drive? And I haven&#39;t personally read Seven Soldiers, but Morrison is writing it and pretty much everybody who has read it loves it. *** Shig. /lurk. Tony Jaa&#39;s elbow son!!!!!! *** Buzz. WORD. *** Which @$$hole was on Attack of the Show?

  • June 20, 2006, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Fuckin&#39; Germany....

    by Psynapse

    They always ruin the party.....

  • June 20, 2006, 1:41 p.m. CST

    That was me on "Attack Of The Show".

    by SleazyG.

    It was a lot harder than I expected. We&#39;ll throw up a link and everything for everybody later.

  • June 20, 2006, 1:50 p.m. CST

    You held your own, Sleazy.

    by The Heathen

    You said that one thing about the characters bending to the stories and also said that a lot of the fans (who apparently don&#39;t mean shit to Axel) feel betrayed after totem poles, iron spider costumes, the Other, etc. I can&#39;t believe you were able to hold back from teleporting to wherever Alonso&#39;s high horse was and knocking him off of it. Good grief. "You give us far too much grief for what we do wrong and not nearly enough credit for what we do right." Take a hint from the hardcores then, Axel.

  • June 20, 2006, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Please do...

    by Psynapse

    I wanna see what I missed.

  • June 20, 2006, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Chamber

    by The Heathen

    well he was depowered from the "no more mutants" thing because, I dunno, he was a cool character or something (you can see him in Generation M) and here&#39;s what Marvel has in store for him SPOILERS ** http://tinyurl.com/nkke4 ** As if the crappy storyline in X-Men wasn&#39;t enough (sorry Ark).

  • June 20, 2006, 2:05 p.m. CST

    The Turtle Moves...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Heath, I was dropping my rottie off at my brothers "house-in-the-forest-on-the-side-of-a-mountain." New Condo + 156 lbs. of goofy fuck of a dog = No chance in hell. I miss him already, but he&#39;s got an acre of forest in which to disembowel varmints, so it&#39;s for the best.****On Topic: Thanks, I think I will check out 7 Soldiers. At least the "Bulleteer?","Bulletbabe?", "Tits McGee?" look appealing.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:10 p.m. CST

    But I&#39;m torn...

    by superhero

    Because if they do an event for just hardcore fans then you get INFINITE CRISIS which alienates new readers completely and ended up sucking anyway. But then you do stuff like Marvel and alienate older readers but attract some short term attention to your books...but does that translate to ongoing readership and a new fanbase? There HAS to be some kind of middle ground to a crossover/event book doesn&#39;t there? Nah, probably not...all crossover event books suck.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:23 p.m. CST

    At least he can kill some varmints

    by The Heathen

    They&#39;re minty!!! No, not really, but the Spectregans would kill a possum from time to time. Those things are evil I tell ya, pure evil.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Great A

    by Shigeru

    Sucks about the dog man... but it sounds like he&#39;s getting a great home so maybe you did the right thing. Anyways, SEVEN SOLDIERS is amazing. If Morrison actually delivered the final issue on time it would have been one hell of an epic...but now we have to wait for September. Bulleteer was great, Shining Knight was great, Frankenstein was awesome, Zatanna was awesome, Klarion was awesome... um well all of them were awesome pretty much.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Excellent! I think I&#39;ll be picking up....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    The first three trades then. I almost did based soley on Bulleteers...um...bullets when I was in the shop. I am a sad, lonely man. But at least I knows what I likes ;)

  • June 20, 2006, 2:35 p.m. CST

    DC got at least one new reader cause of IC

    by Shigeru

    It was me. The 25cent Countdown or whatever it was called issue hooked me. But I was already reading lots of comics at the time, just hardly any DC ones. MARVEL needs to learn that attracting new readers and pleasing older ones don&#39;t have to be at odds with each other. I want to see this G4 clip pronto! If I was faced with Axel Alonso I don&#39;t think I could restrain myself from going all Psynapse and cursing him out over not axing that fucking Gwen Stacy twins storyline. Terrible shite.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:39 p.m. CST

    and after cursing him out, I would give him

    by Shigeru

    THE TONY JAA ELBOW OF DOOM!!!!!

  • June 20, 2006, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Be not torn, superhero

    by The Heathen

    Here&#39;s the difference to me right now. Infinite Crisis WAS for the super hardcore. If I hadn&#39;t have read Crisis On Infinite Earths or the Countdown mini&#39;s I would have been lost, but I wasn&#39;t

  • June 20, 2006, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Bulleteer

    by Shigeru

    is especially interesting because it&#39;s (like the rest of Seven Soldiers) a comment on a facet of modern comics: the over the top sex bomb heroine. The phallic helmet, the storyline about superhero porn... even the covers. But yeah, boobs are awesome.

  • June 20, 2006, 2:47 p.m. CST

    DON&#39;T FUCK WITH TONY JAA&#39;S ELBOW SON!!!!!

    by The Heathen

    I&#39;m still arrogantly awaiting a massive absolute hc for Seven Soldiers that will probably never come out *wink wink* but I sure would like if it did *wink wink* DC *wink* Ahh, my eyes hurt!

  • June 20, 2006, 2:50 p.m. CST

    EFF Papa John&#39;s!

    by Shigeru

    Don&#39;t you guys have LITTLE CEASER&#39;S down there man? That place is the stuff.

  • June 20, 2006, 3:05 p.m. CST

    "PIZZA! PIZZA!" Little Caesars still exists?

    by The Heathen

    I hate Hungry Howies. Pizza Hut is aiight. Papa Johns has garlic butter and greek peppers yo! I don&#39;t eat Domino&#39;s because the owner is some religious nut that wants to build a compound in Florida or something. To be honest, Five Star (maybe only in Florida, I dunno) is the shit. Cheap. Good. Cheap. Really good.

  • June 20, 2006, 3:07 p.m. CST

    HOLD THE FUCKING PRESSES!

    by Shigeru

    WAIT WAIT WAIT! I was just on imdb and it says that JEPH LOEB co-wrote COMMANDO?!?!?! As in "I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I&#39;m very hungry." COMMANDO?

  • June 20, 2006, 3:16 p.m. CST

    haha hungry howies...

    by Shigeru

    ...that takes me back. I forgot about the garlic butter, that puts Pappa Johns back on my list. The best around here is "Joe&#39;s Pizza"...well we THINK it&#39;s named Joe&#39;s cause the pizza boxes say "Joe&#39;s" on &#39;em. But The actual place has no signs or writing whatsoever. I mean it... no menus, no nothing. It&#39;s shabby as hell and falling apart and is serviced by 2 italian gentlemen who rule. And it opens at 8pm. And stays open "until the dough runs out"...latest I&#39;ve been there is around 3am and it was BUSY. I&#39;m pretty sure it&#39;s a mob front but hey it&#39;s got fantastic pizza.

  • June 20, 2006, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Pizza....YOU BASTARDS!

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Dammit! My dog loves pizza.*sniff* Anyway, Round Table is the best. I could eat a RT Pepperoni and Mushroom Large for B,L&D! Boobs are just awesome. Boobs are just fantastic. Boobs are just awe-tastic!

  • June 20, 2006, 3:31 p.m. CST

    mmm

    by The Heathen

  • June 20, 2006, 3:32 p.m. CST

    mmm

    by The Heathen

  • June 20, 2006, 3:33 p.m. CST

    "Going all Psynapse"

    by Psynapse

    Geez, I&#39;m a right bastard when A) Blood sugar is low, B) had not enough sleep or C)sand in my vagina. Thank you sincerely Cogs and @$$es for putting up with my "less than fresh" moments. (I just re-read my post to Tall_Boy for the 1st time after posting it and thought--&#39;Damn what an asshole&#39;)

  • June 20, 2006, 3:39 p.m. CST

    thats great shig

    by Darth Kal-El

    sounds like a good place! we had a hungry howies but they changed it to something else i havent tried yet. we used to have this awesome pizza place called antonious pizza which was actually ran by 2 ethiopian guys. i know it sounds weird but the pizza was the bomb! i think it was their sidxe business and they where trying to get ethiopian food to take off and since it didnt they ended up closing up shop including the goddamn pizza! yeah and fuck germany in their stupid asses and fuck ethiopians that leave me hanging on some good pizza!

  • June 20, 2006, 3:40 p.m. CST

    BOOOOOOBS!!

    by Psynapse

    Funbags is cool....

  • June 20, 2006, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Yeah Loeb wrote the Teen Wolf movies too...

    by superhero

    Which is why I giggle uncontrollably whenever a fan or an article seems to be overly impressed with the fact that he has experience writing for the movies. HELLO! He wrote Commando and Teen Wolf! He has done some good comic work, though...just not recently... :O)

  • June 20, 2006, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Wait..what?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    by Psynapse

    I&#39;ve gone 3 fucking years without once having my consciousness scarred by thoughts of Teen Wolf and now it&#39;s all gone to shit!! God-DAMN you Jeph Loeb!! I fucking HATE (HATEHATEHATE) you now! I refuse to EVER (EVERRRRRRR!!!!) buy another book that has your name on it now that I know that travesty (My apologies Travesties of the world) is YOUR personal pureed abortion!

  • June 20, 2006, 4:37 p.m. CST

    yo atuin do u have a myspace?

    by Darth Kal-El

  • June 20, 2006, 5:23 p.m. CST

    We needs to know GreatA!!!

    by The Heathen

    Hey, Psy, at least it wasn&#39;t Teen Wolf Too with Michael Bluth. What? Oh, Loeb wrote that too? Hmm. Well, at least he&#39;s a producer on Lost.

  • June 20, 2006, 5:32 p.m. CST

    on the bluths

    by Darth Kal-El

    i honestly didnt know portia di rossi was gay until yesterday! god im slow!

  • June 20, 2006, 5:33 p.m. CST

    AAAAAAAAHH!!! NONONONONO!!

    by Psynapse

    Dammit Heath I am all out of Hookers, Tequila, Weed, and Valium!!! Now I&#39;m never gonna recover!!! Hmm...there Is this Icepick, I wonder if stabbing myself repeatedly in the eye will work. Hm..nope..just kinda hurts...Damn you Jeph Loeb....damn you......

  • June 20, 2006, 5:36 p.m. CST

    You can have some of my insulin, Psy

    by The Heathen

    it might do something. What - I don&#39;t know.

  • June 20, 2006, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Then again.....

    by Psynapse

    Staring at my new Wonder Woman #1 wallpaper and all I can think of is the headlights. Thank you Terry and Rachel Dodson, thank you. MMMmmmm breasticles.....

  • June 20, 2006, 5:38 p.m. CST

    BOOBIES!!!

    by Darth Kal-El

    yes indeed!

  • June 20, 2006, 11:22 p.m. CST

    So does that mean like Marvel&#39;s No-Prize..

    by Thalya

    The Cogs have a Booby Prize? *smacks face and sighs* You guys should be thankful you don&#39;t have to live with them.

  • June 20, 2006, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Myspaces? I don&#39;t need no stinking myspaces....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Yeah, um...no. But my little brother does. Apperantly, it&#39;s a big gay thing. At least in the O.C. Not that there&#39;s anything wrong with that. (GOD! I hate Seinfeld.) Anyway, yeah, I just wouldn&#39;t update it enough, or at all. <---Lazy sumbitch

  • June 20, 2006, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Thalya....I hate myself for this but...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I&#39;ll live with your boobies. I know, I know. I suck. But in my defense, I never lied about it.

  • June 20, 2006, 11:54 p.m. CST

    And Darth...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I didn&#39;t know Portia was gay &#39;till you posted it. Slow? I&#39;m a fuckin&#39; turtle.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:21 a.m. CST

    You freaks really didn&#39;t know about Portia?

    by Psynapse

    I mean, daaaamn.....Guess I&#39;ve been a bit over-reactive in being annoyed at so many people for not getting the Superboy&#39;s punch angle then. I mean, christ, I was irritated with people not grasping QM sufficiently and here 2 of the most intelligent people I&#39;ve been fortunate to know had no clue about one of the most high profile lesbians in my country. If you happen to be curious about queers in the comics field look no further than www.prismcomics.org. (PS-Though in colloquial vernacular the term &#39;freaks&#39; carries a pejorative connotation in this instance it is quite the opposite.)

  • June 21, 2006, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Now THIS is funny....

    by Psynapse

    ***http://tinyurl.com/e4v4s*** Karma&#39;s a bitch, eh Todd? That&#39;s what you get for trying so hard to fuck over Neil.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Dude! I&#39;m intelligent?

    by GreatA'Tuin

    In my defense I knew about Phil Jiminez(sp?)And yeah, MacFarlane is a dipshit.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:41 a.m. CST

    right back at ya psy(the inteligent thing)

    by Darth Kal-El

    atuin its not that bad actually. me,heathen and shigeru are on there and quite a few comic creators have one as well.u should check it out! in fact if u do let me know and ill link you to some cool stuff

  • June 21, 2006, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Holy Fuck! Apperantly I am on MySpace...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    http://www.myspace.com/carcer***God Damn drunken stupors

  • June 21, 2006, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Don&#39;t feel too bad Great A....

    by Psynapse

    I began setting mine up tonight. *sigh* If you can&#39;t beat &#39;em and all that....

  • June 21, 2006, 7:47 a.m. CST

    I didn&#39;t know about Portia

    by Shigeru

    Huh. My wife&#39;s a big fan from AD and Allie McBeal. She was in the scene in AD that referenced Freaks & Geeks...if anybody can name it they get a cookie.

  • June 21, 2006, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I knew.

    by The Heathen

    About Portia.

  • June 21, 2006, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Great A&#39;Tuin

    by Thalya

    Welcome to all-week comics TBs, dear. :) So what sort of sexcapades could you envision at the X-Mansion?

  • June 21, 2006, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay movie news

    by The Heathen

    First off, I want to say that reading this book is what urged me to get back into comics a few years back. I hope the movie has just an ounce of the books charm, wit, energy and love that Michael Chabon put into the novel. Natalie Portman as Rose is a niiiice step in the right direction. ** http://tinyurl.com/fl8ne ** Here&#39;s hoping for the best.

  • June 21, 2006, 11:25 a.m. CST

    seXcapades?

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Well, we&#39;ve got the handicaped (Prof), interacial (Storm and Jubilee) hirstute (Logan), gay (Northstar and Ultimate Colossus), redheads (Jean and Rouge), teeny-boppers (Kitty and Husk), deforemed (Kurt and Beast), portly (Juggy), and pedophiles (Warren). Sounds like every porn spam e-mail I&#39;ve ever gotten.

  • June 21, 2006, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Heathen

    by Shigeru

    Speaking of Natalie Portman, you should check my mysapce blog in a bit. Darth too!

  • June 21, 2006, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Well that would definitely get you a pass, GreatA.

    by The Heathen

    Welcome, Cog.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:05 p.m. CST

    I would so do Nightcrawler.....

    by Psynapse

    I mean, damn, just THINK of the things that can be done with that tail! (Plus Alan Davis drew him as totally having the bone structure that gets me spicy)

  • June 21, 2006, 12:06 p.m. CST

    How long must I wait, Shig?

    by The Heathen

    Anything with Natalie is divine. When i read Kavalier & Clay I thought of either her or Rachel McAdams for Rose. Mmm

  • June 21, 2006, 12:12 p.m. CST

    I would so do Rogue

    by The Heathen

    drawn by Jim Lee. What? That&#39;s the purpose of his art fools! To &#39;titilate.&#39;

  • June 21, 2006, 12:14 p.m. CST

    give me psylocke drawn by jim lee

    by Darth Kal-El

    or cassaday kitty pride."Nyet is my kittty kat!"sorry big man shes hot!

  • June 21, 2006, 12:33 p.m. CST

    I&#39;d take Lorna

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I mean she&#39;s got HUGE knockers. Green hair works for me. I&#39;m a punk, what can I say? She could float us in the air while we did it, that would be all kindsa kick-ass. Finally, she&#39;s totally bat-shit insane, so i have a chance with her as those crazy bitches apperently loves the Turtle. Yep, make mine Polaris. I&#39;d tell her who her daddy is alright.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:35 p.m. CST

    I&#39;d also do Professor X...

    by Psynapse

    IF he was the 80&#39;s walking clone version and looked like Jean-Luc Picard circa ST:TNG season 1. Patrick Stewart was totally hot then.

  • June 21, 2006, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Actually....

    by Psynapse

    I&#39;d really only do Northstar because (and this is the truth) Straight guys just don&#39;t do it for me. Every celebrity crush I had as a kid turned out to be a fellow polesmoker.

  • June 21, 2006, 1:18 p.m. CST

    "Nyet is my kittty kat!"

    by The Heathen

    That sir, has made my day!!! Ohh man, good stuff. Very good, da!

  • June 21, 2006, 1:36 p.m. CST

    is always good da?

    by Darth Kal-El

    and psy good choices-if i went that way i could see that. &#39;do you want me to bamf you in ze pooper again?&#39;

  • June 21, 2006, 1:43 p.m. CST

    bamf you in ze pooper?

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Dude, isn&#39;t Kurt a Catholic? Oh yes, Waiter? I&#39;d like a famliy sized order of guilt, please, with a side of repression, and for desert a little excommunication. <---recovering Catholic. (Honestly, I&#39;m suprised I&#39;m still Christian at all. Lousy Zealots.)

  • June 21, 2006, 1:50 p.m. CST

    i thought

    by Darth Kal-El

    catholicism and butt pilfering went together like wafers and wine!

  • June 21, 2006, 1:55 p.m. CST

    like wafers and wine bay-bee!!!

    by The Heathen

    Hey, Y. Does Jessica Alba&#39;s pooper still taste like cotton candy and raspberries? Bringin it back old school son! Ah, that was a good time.

  • June 21, 2006, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Only in the Clergy, Darth...

    by GreatA'Tuin

    the rest of us were supposed to be SHAMED! ::wags finger and scowls menacingly:: Hypocracy, It&#39;s what Baby Jesus would want.

  • June 21, 2006, 2:05 p.m. CST

    that is old school!

    by Darth Kal-El

    good times indeed!

  • June 21, 2006, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Jessica Alba&#39;s porthole

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Well, Heathen, if it did then that would be ONE reason for her continued existance. I mean, yeah, she&#39;s gorgeous, but she&#39;s not the only one. I mean Scarlet Johanssen(sp?) is HAWT, AND she can act. (And I&#39;ll bet she&#39;ll get naked too. Just need to find her slut sauce of choice. I&#39;m thinking she&#39;s a Jack Daniels girl. Any other opinions?)

  • June 21, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Mmm

    by The Heathen

    hers is cotton candy and strawberries or was that Anne Hathaway&#39;s?

  • June 21, 2006, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Anne Hathaway......haallgh.....I need a moment....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    There that&#39;s better. Where do we keep the wet-naps?

  • June 21, 2006, 2:45 p.m. CST

    I will say this....

    by Psynapse

    Scarlet DOES look like the kind of girl that gets into the back door action.....

  • June 21, 2006, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Scarlet&#39;s back door

    by GreatA'Tuin

    That is all

  • June 21, 2006, 3:32 p.m. CST

    haallgh

    by The Heathen

    oops

  • June 21, 2006, 3:36 p.m. CST

    is "haallgh" good or bad??

    by Shigeru

    if it&#39;s the sound of scarlett getting nekkid then I&#39;m down... maybe it&#39;s the sound of scarlett AND alba getting naked. No that would be *pants explode*

  • June 21, 2006, 3:43 p.m. CST

    It&#39;s the sound of me....drooling....yeah, drooling....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    That&#39;s why I needed a wet-nap. Not any other sticky reason. Nope.

  • June 21, 2006, 3:43 p.m. CST

    *pants explode*

    by The Heathen

    Scarlet Alba Portman!!! It&#39;s too much I say! For the Cogs that have MySpace (and the ones who don&#39;t) Shig just posted a HI-larious blog about Ms. Natalie Portman. Good stuff, Shig.

  • June 21, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    See SleazyG. tell Axel Alonso the TRUTH!!!

    by The Heathen

    www.g4tv.com - right on the main page there&#39;s a video of the Loop Spider-Man discussion. Check out our very own AICN Comics @$$hole, SleazyG. participate for fandom. That, and apparently some Halo 2 Team just got signed for a $$MILLION$$ dollar contract!?!?

  • June 21, 2006, 3:54 p.m. CST

    *pants and member explode*

    by Darth Kal-El

    portman,alba, and scarlett! that would be beyond sweet!***good job sleazy!

  • June 21, 2006, 4:10 p.m. CST

    almost back

    by blackthought

  • June 21, 2006, 4:27 p.m. CST

    about my myspace....

    by Psynapse

    haven&#39;t done anything more than upload 1 photo....after tonite prepare to be scared.

  • June 21, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST

    ive been meaning

    by Darth Kal-El

    to go update and really pimp out my page but im a lazy,addicted to halo and xbox live, procrastinating,last sith from krypton

  • June 21, 2006, 7:32 p.m. CST

    so that is not a joke?

    by blackthought

    the whole squadron book by jms (which has not been nearly as good as it once was when it was under the MAX imprint) is crossing over with the ultimate universe later this year? whatever.

  • June 21, 2006, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Lex is one bad dude.

    by The Heathen

    Check it out ** http://supermanreturns.warnerbros.com **

  • June 21, 2006, 11:25 p.m. CST

    damn lex has some issues

    by blackthought

  • June 22, 2006, 11:32 a.m. CST

    as do I

    by The Heathen

    LAST!!!!!!

  • June 26, 2006, 10:54 a.m. CST

    heathen why bother

    by blackthought

    last goal.

  • June 26, 2006, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Frontlines was better than Civil War 1 & 2

    by KYUSS_UK

    IMHO

  • June 28, 2006, 2:19 a.m. CST

    hmmmm....

    by blackthought

  • Sept. 8, 2006, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I&#39;ll get you yet, Blackthought...

    by loodabagel

    LAST!