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Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning one sheetl
Hey folks, Harry here... Well we saw the trailer for TCM: TB - now they've got a one sheet and they're not placing some nubile sweaty chi-chi hottie on the poster with a bare bellybutton... nope, they're going for that moody scary Leatherface vibe. What do you think? Looks pretty darn nice...
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the remix.
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Like Leatherface is bringing on the apocalypse.
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Something that's already been widely seen since it was first reported on, Internet-wide, two weeks ago.
C'mon Harry...I love the site like crazy but let's get a bit more timely with the news articles around here. -
Why you ask? Silly fool...this is AICN. We hate everything. Are we not cool?
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Because that fucker was scarier than anything in the Texas Chainsaw remake. Seriously, if you squint, you can see him doing a bad Coffee Talk skit in bad makeup just over Leatherface's head in the poster.
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dark and gloomy. nice. i don't think it'll be a shitty movie. r. lee ermery (last name i can never get it right)is great in anything he's in. i hope they focus more on him and make him all out psychotic.
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Just don't tell Shermdawg.
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Ha! No one will ever be able to look at that poster the same way again.
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I see Mike Myers Cat in the Hat in the clouds!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
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Nice find Fatboy Roberts. That shit makes me laugh something awful. Sometime tomorrow morning, the guy who designed that will be reading talkbacks and amck himself screaming "That's not the cat in the hat! Fuck!" But it is.
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on the other side.
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The antiquing says it all for me. This movie wants to be the original, but seeing as the original is the original why not leave this shit alone and do something really original?
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this movie looks exactly the same as the first TCM remake?
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But the words "Witness the Birth of Fear" are written right on top of it--which could have fit JUST AS EASILY on the actual Cat in the Hat poster. It's probably already a photoshop contest on Fark or something. I can't have really been the first person to notice this, right? Poster's been out for awhile, someone had to have seen that. That tagline is practically pointing RIGHT TO IT. Again, nothing in the TCM remake was half as scary as Mike Myers' Cat in the Hat.
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General Grievous is buttfucking Harvey while Drop Dead Fread holds the camera. It's in the third cloud from the top left corner, just under 30 versions of Darth Vader's face and Venom's reflection.
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to a hard working American Joe trying to scrape out a living selling chainsaws door to door. They call him Willy "Leatherface" Loman 'cause he works outside all day in the Texas sun.
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All I can say is that watching Jessica Biel run around with her tits a popping was the greatest thing and I can't wat to watch Jordana Brewster's tight ss and watch Diora Baird and her great New York boobs.
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cat in the hat?
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The AICN Horror: The Darren McGavin Survey That Would Not Die
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Looking... looking... looking... Oh yeah, WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT. You and the people that see Elvis in their taco salad need to be fucking killed, or at least neutered. Though I'm sure you've all had a bunch of kids already.
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whispering in his ear, it's Jack Skellington.
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apparently this cat-in-the-hat is like those 3d vision things from a while ago. there's people that see, and people that don't see, and there's strong emotions involved from both groups. A schooner IS a sailboat you IDIOT.
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But at least it stays with the Suess theme.
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He's breathing fire! All over SnakesOnABicycle and his kids. And this taco salad is delicious! Feel the burn from Evil Cat In The Hat!
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That is pretty damn funny, though. As much as it annoys me at times, one of the things I love about AICN and talkback is how anything and everything can be reduced to a laughing stock, no matter how po-faced and seriously intentioned it may be, with the occasional bonus of it being reduced to a talkback catchphrase for months on end. Fear the gauntlet of talkback!
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Can't see the damn Cat in the Hat. I did see the shape of a chick laying down with a periscope coming up out of her snatch, though. That score me anything?
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...but it doesn't look like Cat in da hat to me. More like Minilla (Godzilla jr.)
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...Just sayin'...
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Again...just sayin'...
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There are 11 Superman returns clips up on the total film site. Oh and this poster sucks, not as much as the trailer but still. Or maybe I'm bitter I can't see a cat
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I remember that when the first idiotic remake came out, it flopped and was savaged by everyone. It was in just 1998. "Psycho" it was. What the hell happened since then? A whole generation of morons learned to walk?
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No seriously, it is a serious question.. I just can't think of one that has worked.. at all..
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I could never ever ever see those magic eye pics so excuse me for being happy. Wow I bet this isn't the talkback the execs had in mind when they released the poster.
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the last Massacre remake had a great creepy trailer, but the movie itself was a boring teen slasher flick that was identical to the dozens of boring teen slasher pics that came before it. I'm betting that this movie will be no different.
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Is there a link to the trailer yet that doens't have that weird time restriction?
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Actually, anthing giving birth fills me with fear. Also, anything giving birth will be more gross than anything in this movie...
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"I was gonna say I saw a horsey and a ducky, but I changed my mind."
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Thanks for making me dwell on the damn Cat In The Hat. I've looked.....didn't see it. Looked again...still nothing. loooooking........NOTHING!!!! Be honest...do I need Heroin to see the fuckin' Cat???
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...that the entire birthing and child rearing process is "the birth of fear" in their world. Take your average tough-talking, immortal feeling dude who decides to settle down after a decade and a half of skirt chasing. That nervousness and discomfort he feels just before the wedding is NOTHING compared to the terror that starts the minute that stick turns pink or blue or shows a "plus" sign. He's never really known fear before that. And afterward, he'll know little else. "Should you be lifting that, honey? Are you feeling okay? Does the baby feel okay? Is it time to go to the hospital yet? What do I do while you're breathing and pushing? Are you mad at me? Should I get the nurse? Where are you taking my wife? What do you mean you have to cut her open? Is the baby going to be okay? Is the baby normal? Why can't I let the baby sleep on his/her side/belly? What's SIDS? What do you mean no one knows what causes it? Why is the baby crying like that? Can the baby breathe? Should we wake the baby up and make sure he/she is okay? Is the baby awake now? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T WAKE THE BABY!" Yeah, if you've had a baby, Leatherface isn't very scary at all.
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"Mr. Face, it's a boy!"
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i see skeletor, but no cat, and no hat. unless you're talking about the triangle shaped cloud, in which you're talking about a triangle.
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thank god im not done skirt chasing
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...or not. While I am done skirt-chasing, I haven't reached the point of anxiously watching the little magic stick change colors yet. However, that day isn't far off as plans to that effect are in their early stages. I was hoping the nerves and anxieties wouldn't extend too far past the point of no return, but I realize that ain't gonna happen. You really never can go home again, can you, even figuratively speaking... *sigh*
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then he's gonna take a shit in the old man's hand and make him slap himself.
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Just ask my anus!
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Witness the birth of a... YAWN!
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Let me guess, due to the huge outcry for an explanation of events leading up to the events in the remake of a classic horror film, a prequel is being made. They may as well just make some sort of 13 minute short that offers a connection between the Hill Have Eyes remake and the TCM remake, and it needs to involve a severely deformed Jim Carrey who plays the teenage son of a severely deformed Burt Reynolds, and the grandmother can be played by a severely deformed...Well, I was gonna say Debbie Reynolds, but then it just sounds cliche.
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but still can't see that motherfuckin cat
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His nose is to the right of the word "witness", his mouth is to the right of the word "fear" and his eye is underneath the letter "w" in "chainsaw". Hope that helps!
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I love the image, but I can't help but think it would be better suited for a Western.
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and if so, does he wipe and flush and stuff? I can't really picture it. I picture him just shittin his pants all day until its like he's walking around in oatmeal. then he changes pants. and yet I can't picture that either. You think he closes the door to his room when he's doin all this pants changin? I mean, does he turn doorknobs? I figure he just kicks doors open and closed. no dainty "knob turning" for him, he's not a European for Christsakes.
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it was a bloodcurdling low-budget indie horror flick from the early 70s called THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE; which later spawned one good sequel, one terrible sequel, and a piece of shit remake... and, now, the world's first REMAKE PREQUEL. cringe inducing.
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...Special.
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Jun 14, 2006 3:49:14 PM CDT
I would not play it normally, but hatred of remakes...
by salvatoregravano
...is a noble and benevolent cause, so here is a clue: http://tinyurl.com/o3lkt
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Click the link, you will.
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Leatherface hiking down the road...um NO!!!! If you want to see some scary shit, someone should make a biopic on Ed Gein.
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someone already did make that movie...
http://imdb.com/title/tt0230169/ -
and some weed plants to the left.. seriously is the guy who made darkness falls making this? that movie wasn't all that bad.. in fact it scared me out of losing anymore teeth.. and when i eventually did, i swallowed them so i wouldn't give that tooth fairy bitch the thought or the time of day to come looking for her little kiddie-charms. No dollars and quarters for me, bitch! Just some bad bowel movements o-ring.. whatever that is.
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His chin and is right above Leatherface's head,his lips are level with "fear", his eyes are just under "beginning", nose is level with "witness". The cat is bigger than you letting yourself look. He takes up about a fifth of the poster. Hope you can see it now!
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and I am apparently on crack and English is my second language. Dear god, forgive me for all the grammar errors....so sleepy
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That chainsaw looks like it could slice some ham off of my schlong.
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Now I see it, it's coming right for me with that sinister smile. Only question is how would a cat use a chainsaw? No opposable thumbs should really slow him down and...Oh the movie isn't about a killer cat? Then why is there one in the poster geez! Make up your mind Hollywood. This could have been as good as "Lasercats" on SNL. Ah well to dream.
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Jun 15, 2006 9:58:43 AM CDT
From the director of DARKNESS FALLS & creators of TCM4!
by jackpumpkinhead
Yeah, I too wonder why these two gems aren't advertised in the poster?
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Now there's something that will always be better than all the pile of shit that Michael Bay's involved in put together.
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