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Here's your order of 3 CLERKS 2 posters. Want fries with that?
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Today is the day for geeky posters it seems. First we had TRANSFORMERS, which was essentially what I saw and described last month... still wish they'd tweak the ROBOCOP font and make it a tad more TRANSFORMERSy, and now we have 3 posters for Kevin Smith's CLERKS 2. Mr. Smith premiered them via his myspace blog and www.silentbobspeaks.com. They certainly fit with the style we've seen in the trailers... and good god... is there a roof for Rosario Dawson's hotness? Can she get any more attractive? Enjoy the posters!!!
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Could I be first?
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NOW!
Or Rosario herself would be fine. -
Swoon. Also, this movie should be fantastical..
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As much as I love the first movie, I just can't muster up enough feeling to really care about this movie. And the jokes on the first two posters are awful. Maybe I'm just a geek fanboy/hater or whatever.
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And she don't even have to pluck her eyebrows.
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I saw Kevin Smith speak at Wizard World Philly this weekend. He showed an exclusive clip (with a pretty funny jab at AICN during the beginning anti piracy montage) that honestly, didn't really do anything for me. It was a big debate between Randall and some guys about Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings. It was the kind of there where it's supposed to be funny just because they are saying geeky things that we agree with/know about. There weren't really any jokes to speak of, just "Heh. Yeah, that's what I thought about the LOTR movies too." Smith himself was really funny though, he handles himself really well in front of an audience, especially when confronted with several obnoxious fans asking him questions about anal sex and whether he would eat a chicken nugget off the floor for five bucks. Seriously.
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again.
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heh. not really.
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think i'll watch the original again tonight. "in a row?" - man, that line always gets me.
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When will people learn?
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it will still be worth seeing.
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...when Smith decided to do it in color. Silly? Sure. But tone matters. And there's just no furthering of the Clerks "mythology" that I want to see in color. It's black and white, or it's not Clerks. No matter what the "character arc" is, no matter how much they mature, it isn't the world of Clerks. That was always my problem with bringing Jay and Bob and all of that into the other movies. Their minimal presence in the first couple after Clerks made it okay, just sort of a fun little thing, but both Dogma and J&SBSB just drove home how terrible that was. It was the difference between Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Indiana Jones theme park ride. Maybe because they were there in real life filming Clerks, they don't realize how crucial the black and white was, but honestly, how do you fuck that up? I don't mind Dante being so fat, I don't mind Jason Mewwes being seventy, but seeing all this purple and yellow and all that bullshit sucks. If anything, they should have done a reverse Wizard of Oz and had them enter the world of color at the end of their story. But just starting us out there? Fuck Clerks in color. Fuck it up its stupid ass.
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And I masturbate to horses...
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Saw it at Vulgarthon. Laughed my ass off. Can't wait to see it again. Pillow pants.
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When "Clerks" came out, where were *we*? Smith has since parodied our own geeky spats and fumings ("Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"). Now, what is left? Geekdom is at an all-time high what with a plethora of superhero crap out there, no more SW films, etc. Maybe CLMoose is right - and this will just be more of the same/preaching to the choir (w/o half the wit as any of us have). *sigh* I await...
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shopped her head onto that.
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Showed my best friend that marvelous scene in Rent where Rosario's dancing at the Cat Scratch Club and singing "Out Tonight"...now, you'd think that ANY red blood hetero kinda guy would have his tongue hanging on the floor; but not him. Understand: his wife was NOT in the room at the time; there was no reason to pretend, cover up, whatever. He just wasn't attracted to her. Now, for guys, just as for girls, there are certain members of the opposite sex where it is simply understood if this person so much as winked at you, you'd go to bed with em. For me, that girl is Rosario. And even though I'll have to get in line behind a million or so other guys, at least one of em won't be my bud! And remember: the Sin City poster with her on it was the best one of THOSE one-sheets, too!
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Dawsons poster looks weird
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Her ass looks like it's covered in black licorice. Num num nummy!
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If Rosario Dawson were any hotter, i'd kill myself.....
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"Counter-Terrorism" Fucking shit that is horrible. Even for a movie tagline. A Tale of Two Kitties has cleverer tags.
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Is it just me or does Kevin look thinner from that angle?
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Seriously. Does a movie like Clerks II NEED three posters? I've had it with this one-note director. Can someone PLEASE rid us of this menace?
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Wasn't it scheduled to come out in August sometime? Oh, and as for Rosario... damn that girl is fine.
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And yeah, I'll be watching the fuck out of this when it comes out.
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Then, in a strange confluence of cirtcumstances, you have actually become HIS BITCH.
You see, as you type with your sweaty fingers having just stroked off to the poster of Rosario, you suffered an effect known as the Refractory Period wherein, given that you are unable to achieve another erection, your mood grows sour due to the sudden dump of seratonin. Thus you whine like a bunch of little bitches about how KS is a hack. And you hate...You hate some more. Then, after you have reached your hater climax, you enter a hater refractory period wherein, unable to hate anymore, you settle in and watch MallRats...And thus are made into Kevin Smiths bitch.
Just thought Id toss that out there...NOW LICK IT UP BITCHES, LIKE KITTENS UNDER THE DRIPPING TEET OF A DAIRY COW!!!!! -
It's safe to assume this movie will not provide a values-questioning, discussion-prompting, life-changing experience. However, it most probably will provide plenty of witty banter, a few solid laughs and a handful more Jay quotes. Still plenty to be enjoyed in just that.
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For a higher res of each poster. The Rosario poster looks better there. Even if that is her head on another chicks body, I would still be able to wake up every morning next to just the body, even if there was no head...Er, UH, I guess I would like a little head, at the very least.
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and I'm a horny, ugly, fat, nerd
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Is this the bass player from Josie and the Pussycats or the Klingon chick from Voyager. And which one was in Sin City? *** oh, and I loved the Silent Bob speech from Amy and showed all my friends Dogma, but can I have more Clerks cartoons and that Green Hornet movie instead, please?
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I no longer care about this movie, that Rosario poster has eclipsed any awareness or interest in whatever movie it's promoting. What's a Clerks 2? Who gives a shit? My God....
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None more hot.
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...also used to be known as BroncoFan and bragged about how muscular he was and challenged talkbackers to a photographic muscle-off for those who doubted his body building prowess. Sort of puts his hating of Rosario Dawson in a new light, doesn't it?
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Because she's perfectly fine. But what's up with the kid in the Dante and Randall poster? Doesn't need to be there. It's not his story and he's not a selling point.
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it ain't randall and it ain't dante. actually i don't care. i just want to beat off to the rosario poster.
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I would suggest a shotgun blast to the head.
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has a smoking body, but she's only okay in the face. Overall, there are hotter chicks out there.
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Simple facts A) This WILL be funny B) This WILL be a hit. c) Rosario WILL writhe around naked on my bedroom floor, mewling and pleading for my man-splooge. ;-)
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you can clearly see a reflection of Venom in Dante's goatee
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Lie,(I was going to see this anyway) but DAMN, she's yummy.
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It looks like a bunch of stupid ads for Burger King or something. Man, what I wouldn't give to see that Dawson poster in a Burger King...
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AT LEAST KEVIN SMITH IS ENDING HIS OWN CAREER WITH A LITTLE IN JOKE ON HIMSELF. FOR A GUY WHO HAS BUILT A CAREER ON SHITTY POST MODERN REFERENCES AND PRETENIOUS DIALOGUE HE'S HAD A GOOD RUN. RIP: KEVIN SMITH'S CAREER.
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Are you guys that hard up for money now? Anoying!
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I'm not saying it's fake, but it's obviously shopped. It looks awful.
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"Clerks 2: Leading The War Against Counter Terrorism - Get It? 'Counter' Terrorism, because they work behind a counter. The actual definition of 'Counter Terrorism' is 'Intended to prevent or counteract terrorism', but here we used it to refer to employees who work behind a counter. This is a humorous play on words, or 'Pun', if you will."
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Randall is back and I lust for him. To hell with you all, Randall is the sex...Rosario can please step back so he can swagger over to my geekgirl bed.
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"Clerks 2 - Starring Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, and the 'Jessica Alba's Body/Rosario Dawson's Head' failed cloning attempt."
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but still the only poster i've ever seen that immediately gave me a hard on. the insinuation of anal sex didn't hurt either.
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Maybe her hair and other shit is, but I think we've ALL seen Sin City. The girl is smokin'.
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Jun 09, 2006 12:39:33 PM CDT
you're right, her body and face are not photo shopped..
by s0nicdeathmonkey
but they are cropped and put together.
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That is all.
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Remind me of the Buffy DVD covers a bit with the BG and stuff. Dawson's smoking hot.
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I think a sequel is a sign of smith desperation that he has to make a sequel, to the movie that started his career. but one might says he has been making the same film over and over again with jay and silent bob. so why a sequel to clerks. Smith has sold out a long time ago. A while ago i saw chasing amy and when ben affleck turned up. i had to turn it off. I have seen parts of Dogma. It again didnt appeal to me enough to watch it all the way through. Jlo cant act and combination of her and ben affleck. no thanks.
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If there is one movie that needs a fast food tie-in this summer, it's this one.
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Stop using crack. Please. HahahahahahahHahahahahaha! My fucking gay cousin said that shit aloud when he read this shit to me and my girl. I wasn't sure what he was talking about. Then I realized that he was on AICN looking at these posters...now my cousin is a gay man; more Will then Jack if you catch my drift, but even he thinks that Rosario is gorgeous. Now, if a gay man calls you a faggot, well, to quote Tony Soprano..."HE'S A FAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAGGG!" ...................................ps. Movie looks great too. Can't wait, though I'll see it the proceeding week, since I'll be at the Comic Con in Southtown (this time I'm actually working the thing. How sweet is that! Pays to work for a company that rhymes with Pony. Those geeks are gonna flip when they see whose coming and what were presenting!)
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C'mon, own up man. You're out there somewhere, waxing your knob to the fanboy backlash. Getting off on being hated by geeks has got to be one of the strangest non fish related fetishes I've ever thought of... I mean heard of.
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by Kevin Smith to remind people he used to be somewhat funny. His last 3 movies have descended from mediocre (Dogma) to bad (Jay and Silent Bob) to horrible (Jersey Girl). I used to be a fan. Saw Clerks when it came out, thought it was hilarious and impressive for a low budget. Mallrats was even funnier, but glossier. Chasing Amy wasn't as funny as either, but it might have been a better attempt at a film overall. But it was becoming apparent at this point that Kevin Smith was a fairly one note kinda guy. Then began the downward spiral, and now looking back on his first 3 films I'm wondering if it was just Jason Lee that made them funny. I have pretty much zero interest in Clerks 2, and the trailer made the movie look pretty lame. Kevin Smith keeps giving us the same half-assed movie, and now that the novelty of his style has thoroughly worn off its just become excrutiatingly irritating.
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Let me put it this way... If you liked the first one, you're gonna LOVE this. Unlike most sequels that just churn out the same jokes/situations all over again, this one doesn't do that. It's not filled with a bunch of "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" jokes or 37 blowjob gags. Aside from a couple of sly references to the original, it's all completely new. And laugh out loud funny. Trevor Fehrman nealry steals the movie and Rosario dancing on the roof of the Mooby's is worth the price of admission alone. If you didn't like the first one, why would you be interested in this one anyway? Fuck you haters. Right is your stupid asses. You hideous chuds aren't gonna be able to stand the fact that this movie is balls to the wall funny. See you in hell, chumps.
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Yes, it's all a "LIEberal" "DEMONcrat" conspiracy. There's only one right-wing, steroid-shrivelled, multi-banned fucktard zealot cretinous enough to use those terms, and that's you, Panterarocks, BroncoFan, Landoasskissian, Nintendo.
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...I've never been "caught" because 1) I've never posted under another name, 2) Nobody has presented anything even slightly resembling any kind of evidence that I have, 3) If I actually did post under different names, I'd avoid using easily identifiable terminology like "LIEberal" and "DEMONcrat".
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Seriously.
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You're invading my brain. The other day I was watching The Shield with a friend and he said: "You know, Chiklis is like Aldo Ray 2K". The moment he said that, the word image that formed in my head was "AldoRayTooKay". That's when I knew I had finally succumbed to the insidious might of Shepard Wong, GoatZinger and TomBodet. I concede defeat.
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I expect this movie is more ABOUT the end of nerdiness/geekdom than a sign of it.
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Multiple accounts? Really? Like, can't you take up knitting or horse-raping or something mildly less desperate?
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How many more different ways can you out youself, Panterarocks? And yes, anyone CAN use those terms, but only one person is dumb enough to think they're clever enough to use. And no, homewrecker hasn't been anywhere near proving anything of the sort. In fact, he doesn't even believe it himself.
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Not until they open their gabs. Ray even sounds like Chiklis.
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who gets to live out his wildest dreams everyday, writing comics and directing movies. What do you losers do for a living?
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Is it just me or is it obvious they pasted on her head from a different photo.
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We hang out here with you. Yes we are that pathetic. So here's a question for you. When you're gulping down kevin's dick, does he do you the courtesy of sucking in his whale belly, or does he just rest it on your head?
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Saw the movie in KC last Monday. Test screening are awesome. Rosario Dawson is great in the film. I was worried going in but it is one of the great sequels of all time. The posters look a little slick. The movie is beautiful in its low budget charm and the posters do not seem to match that. Hate the posters for that reason not because you want to be cool at mom's house dissing someone else's hardwork. The poster should be simple. Black and white with a donkey in a mask and say something like "It's whole new show" Once see you see the film you will get the donkey reference.
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I've been scanning these posts, and I'll be jiggered if I didn't see one or two posts actually defending Homewrecker's insanity. I thought we were all pretty much in agreement that whether we're Liberal, Conservative, a Superman fan or an X3 fan, tall or short, we'd have fun picking on the retarded kid, but we'd never actually LISTEN to him. Was there a memo I didn't get?
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I guess dookie tastes like a Porterhouse to some people.
Enjoy the money Mr. Smith because you "art" will be forgotten within a few short years. -
Yes, there was a memo, but it circulated long before homewrecker was around. It simply stated: "Panterarocks is a malignant troglodyte."
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Gail and the rest of the Old Town whores. Rosario Dawson isn't ugly - that poster is. I think we know what the coleslaw dressing is made of...
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with Rosario -i'd do her any day. but PANTERAROCKS joke made me laugh anyway.
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And the boy is a proud, blatant liar.
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Great body, dodgy face. http://tinyurl.com/ehkml
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Ok first up............. do i detect a note of jealousy amongst the masses? The fact that Kevin smith is doing what all you sad jobless, trust fund sucking bitches are SCREAMING to do. The fact that Kevin smith is one of us. Yeah. He is. He's an overweight slacker who reads fucking comic books and watches movies. Oh and he has a little sideline of making globally distributed films. What have you done with your life? other than belittle the work of others when you haven't got clue fucking one about how to make, market or distribute a film. If nothing else, you owe Kevin smith for your last piece of ass. Because i'm betting nearly all you moaning virgins tugged your rope to that Rosario Dawson pic. How many of you had to stop because your mother bought you in some pizza slices. Have some loyallty to one of your own. Fucking haters.
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Could I just say again how pissed off I am at the world because of how badly X3 sucked? Thanks for listening.
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because it applies to you as well. Fucking viewaskew.com losers come here and bitch how we have no lives because we don't like kevin smith's movies. If kevin doesn't like what we have to say, he's capable of coming here himself and defending the tripe he's been putting out. He's done it before and he'll do it again. He doesn't need some love smitten spaz, who thinks he's best friends with smith because he replied to one of his posts, to defend him. Kevin is not going to hang out with you. Find yourself a real friend.
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Whatever... I guess I must worship at the shrine of Kevin Smith for sharing with the world the factoid that Xenical makes your turds oily and causes greasy skidmarks every time he farts. Just because the guy's made some good films - Chasing Amy and Dogma are great - doesn't mean he shouldn't be called out when he talks shit, makes shitty films and (dare I say it) puts a hottie like Rosario Dawson on a poster that looks like a rejected slick for Star Whores Episode 69: Revenge of The Shit.
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Awesome name. It's only been outdated for five years. You obviously must be lonely as I don't hang out here much. It's just a sad endeavor, posting about how much this guy sucks, or this movie sucks. It's fine to think it, or to say it with some real life friends, but to post it on the internet? Man, you're living the dream, aren't you? Spacious basement, box full of porno, cool mom that lets you stay up as late as you want. Keep doing what you're doing, Thumper2k1... God and the female population of Earth think you're doing juuuuuust fine. And for the record, I thought Smith's last two movies sucked, but I'm not gonna whine about it.
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I've got you to keep me company. It's like you Smith fans are brainwashed or something. You keep repeating the same shit that your master Kevin says. This is a TALK BACK not a PRAISE BACK. A place to discuss your opinions of movies. If you don't want to talk about movies, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?
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That's so sweet that you have a crush on me, Thumper. Something tells me you're a mischevious bottom. Sorry to break your heart, I guess you'll have to go back to pulling your pud, bud.
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Thats some funny shit. You guys crack me up. Thats why i keep coming here. The funniest part is that in your replies you proved me right. Don't you guys read these before you post them. Silly virgins. Oh and by the way. Me and kevin are friends. You really dont know who this is do you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. In the words of the Bandit BYE BYE BABY. XXXXXXXX
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