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Alfonso Cuaron's THE CHILDREN OF MEN says we'll all be infertile in two years! Better get humping!

Hey folks, Harry here... Cuaron is brilliant. He's absolutely perfect so far as a director. Making consecutively great films for the last 11 years. And it seems he's done it again with his THE CHILDREN OF MEN. This opens September 29th this year, which can not get here soon enough for me. The first word I got tonight came from some coolguy, briefly:

I just got back from the first showing of the film children of men. Let me start off by saying it is an excellent film. Clive Owen solidifies his status as being one of the top leading men. Michael Caine is hilarious in a role you wouldn't expect him in. The real driving force of this film though is Alfonso Cuaron. There are two sequences in this film that are just downright masterpieces of filmmaking. Both are extended long shots. I wont go into what happens, because it's best to be experienced without knowing before hand. But expect to hear nothing but good things about this film. I've never read the book, so I couldn't say how it compares, but it truly is a great film.

Then there was this longer piece by The Spikey Spartan. And together - their takes on the film have me beyond excited. Here ya go, watch out for spoilers in this one...

Alfonso Cuaron confuses me. Maybe "amazes" is a better word for it. He makes the best Harry Potter movie (in my opinion), he made a great coming of age movie with Y Tu Mama Tambien, he did children's fantasy with The Little Princess, and now he's channeled his inner-Kubrick and made a drama set in the future with The Children of Men. Good for him diversify, my father always said.

I found myself confused several times throughout the movie, trying to grasp on to what exactly what happening. But the story is actually quite simple: It takes place in 2027. It has been 18 years since the last baby was born in the world. Something has happened and all of the world?s people have been rendered infertile. In the ensuing years, the world has basically turned to shit. Especially in London, where this takes place. Martial Law. Warring factions. You know how nasty that can get. Theo (Clive Owen) is a former activist who gets pulled into quite a "Hero's Journey" when he's asked by his estranged ex-wife (Julianne Moore) to make sure a girl gets out of the madness and into safety. You see, this girl is pregnant and she and her baby hold the keys to the survival of the human race. This journey (near odyssey) introduces us to a slew of characters who threaten to undermine the mission, those who are martyrs for the mission, and those who just can't accept that the mission is actually happening at all.

Clive Owen is forced to carry the picture and does a good job with it. He knows how to play the reluctant hero and grounds his character with the same disbelief and exhaustion that I felt at times. Julianne Moore doesn't stick around for a whole helluva lot of time, but works well as the catalyst for the story. In the fucking brilliant category is Michael Caine. He plays Jasper, an old pot-smoking hippie buddy of Clive's and it seems to be that this wasn't one of the roles the old pro took for money. He sells the hell out of this and it's nice to see this nice, proper British institution of a man toking some weed ("Strawberry Cough," he calls it) and being a laid-back, but vital, part of the journey.

So let's talk about Mr. Cuaron. What he has crafted here is, simply, the most disturbing view of the future I've seen. Now, I've seen a lot of movies and way too much TV. So, like you, I know how poorly the future can be painted on the big screen. This, though, is so fucking effective because it seems so real. It's pure "dare I say it " cinema verite. In the future, that is. With just about every shot and every bit of production design, he has created a raw look. A very real look. Lots of handheld camera, but not shaky-cam. Lots of long, moving takes, but not crisp dolly shots. And, yet, because of the tone and the vision, I kept thinking that Cuaron, like I said before, was channelling Stanley Kubrick more than anyone else. He puts the audience in the middle of the turbulent urban violence but directly into the heart of the drama. This is how a good documentary would capture Theo's journey. It's insanely well-directed.

Now, when we watch documentaries, there's a lot we take for granted and there's a lot that gets explained via narration or text. Here, we get nothing. We get no long speeches which set up the storyline, we get no solid explanation of the factions at war, and we get all the benefit of the doubt that we'll pick up on the important bits of information through the dialogue. I applaud this. But, maybe my mind wandered a few too many times when I couldn't quite latch onto what was happening and why. There are classes of citizens Fujis (Fugees?) and Zens and, worse, Zen-Fujis who are basically the lowest form (read: poorest) of people. There are strange prison situations. There's basically a lot of shit in the background of this story that I didn't quite pick up. The good news was that I could always just ease back and know that the point of the story was just to get that girl (named "Key") and her child to safety.

So, what am I left with here? I can honestly recommend this movie to those who feel like science-fiction and films about the future have been co-opted by flying cars. It's got a little Clockwork Orange in it. A little 28 Days Later. A little bit of The Wall. A little Blade Runner. And a whole lot of **insert war documentary here.** I can't say that it was a fun movie, but I don't think that was necessarily it's intention. Minority Report it is not. It is, though, a movie that I respect and a movie that I gotta give a second look at. It kept me interested and entertained, but it's probably one of those things that the allegories and metaphors become clearer on repeated viewings.

We don't get a ton of previews here in Mountain View, California. We don't get A LOT of stuff here. So, I'm pretty proud to be able to write in about this movie. if you print this, call me The Spikey Spartan.

Readers Talkback
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  • June 8, 2006, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Clive Owen

    by jasper Stillwell

    Is fine until he opens his mouth - first by the way *boooyakasha*

  • June 8, 2006, 4:23 a.m. CST

    PLANT!

    by DocPazuzu

    The first review, anyway. "Clive Owen solidifies his status as being one of the top leading men." ....."There are two sequences in this film that are just downright masterpieces of filmmaking. Both are extended long shots. I wont go into what happens, because it's best to be experienced without knowing before hand." ...... FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

  • June 8, 2006, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Interesting...

    by photoboy

    I'd have to see the film, but isn't the "pregnant lady carries the saviour of the human race" a bit of a cliche? And really, unless this film also has an immaculate conception surely the most precious thing is the cock that got the girl pregnant... Unless it's all the women who are sterile, but that would be strange when you consider male fertility seems to be a growing problem.

  • June 8, 2006, 4:26 a.m. CST

    PLEASE direct Potter 6 and 7!!!

    by all

    Loved Mama, Azkaban was the best non Tolkein fantasy film ever made. Great work!

  • June 8, 2006, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Jarv - Unfortunately Yes

    by CRanapia

    *sigh* I was mildly encouraged when heard that Alfonso Cuaron was adapting P.D. James' moody (and deeply religious) dystopian fable. A good director and an a-list cast. (I'd pay to see Chewitel Etjiofor alone, who is a fucking genius who'd be a bigger star than Tomkat Brangelena combined in a just world.) So what's really got me in the doubter's column - a fucking dumbed-down point-and-shoot script that assumes the plebs can't take anything resembling subtle charaterisation. Sad.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:09 a.m. CST

    Zarqawi is dead

    by VanLingoMungo

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13195017/

  • June 8, 2006, 5:19 a.m. CST

    Grammar

    by sparkytb2005

    Man, one of the worst things about the fucking internet is that it allows illiterate Americans to publish. "Now, I've seen a lot of movies and way too much TV." -- it says in your review. Erm, exactly. Read books instead and learn how to write geek boy.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:20 a.m. CST

    First, Sounds interesting, and Zarqawi is dead

    by VanLingoMungo

    Pretty good couple of minutes all around.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:23 a.m. CST

    I thought this article was for the trailer...

    by Ribbons

    ...now I am sad. I appreciate the review, however, although what the "point" of this movie is still eludes me.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:45 a.m. CST

    ?I?m impressed?

    by godoffireinhell

    ?but?what?s up with? all the?

  • June 8, 2006, 5:51 a.m. CST

    Waring factions?

    by pammybabe

    It's been about 10 years since I read it and my memory may be a little hazy but I don't remember any 'waring factions' in the book. Britain has become a facist, totalitarian state ruled by an iron fist. Sounds like they may have added this to spice up what is basicley just a chase movie.

  • June 8, 2006, 6:09 a.m. CST

    by CRanapia

    In the novel, Theo Farron is a fifty year old academic and his cousin is effectively the military dictator of England. 'The Warden' doesn't even need to use a particularly iron fist because, well, nobody really cares: As long as people can face the end of the human race in reasonable comfort, who cares if some troublemakers vanish? Or that the Isle of Man has been turned into a de facto concentration camp? Or if the 'Soujourners' (carefully selected immigrants allowed in to do the grunt work) are treated like cattle and deported as soon as they're no longer useful?

  • June 8, 2006, 6:09 a.m. CST

    cuaron is a great director

    by newc0253

    his azkaban was the best of the potter movies, better even than mike newell's (which is saying something). folk mention pd james's book but didn't frank herbert's book the white plague cover the same overall plot - infertility pandemic brings global chaos and breakdown of human society?

  • June 8, 2006, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Here's an idea

    by thatpeterguy

    Let's actually watch the film before we all freak out. This guy doesn't know how to make a bad film and I think he deserves a little leeway here.

  • June 8, 2006, 6:59 a.m. CST

    The Warring Factions are the Omegas

    by Monkey Butler

    I didn't really like the book (it seemed to be suspended between academic and melodramatic; Theo was a terrible, terrible character), but I'd be disappointed if the film strayed too far from it. The concept of the film (yes, the 'mother bearing the saviour of mankind' is a cliche, but that's the whole point - it's a wake-up call from God) is interesting enough, and there're some great descriptions of locations in the book. Funnily enough, things like the vacant churches and the mass suicide really reminded me of Kubrick, so if Cuaron is in fact channeling him, that'd be decent enough. I'm holding out a little hope.

  • June 8, 2006, 7 a.m. CST

    Jasper,

    by thatpeterguy

    I can respect most people opions on most things but to say Clive sucks is insane. It's true he has been mediocre in some films, King Arthur comes to mind, but his performance in Closer proved that he can act. End of story.

  • June 8, 2006, 7:07 a.m. CST

    that first "review"

    by godoffireinhell

    is just pathetic! dude, if you want to plant a review with the online media, try to at least write your own thing instead of copy-pasting the fucking press release!

  • June 8, 2006, 7:15 a.m. CST

    was this a rejected Sliders script?

    by durhay

  • June 8, 2006, 7:31 a.m. CST

    So there's one prego chick left?...

    by Kid Z

    ... Then what? She has more kids and when they grow up... (gulp)... incest!??! Then the world would be one huge mess of inbreeds wouldn't it? All running around, shouting "GOO!" and flinging poop at each other???

  • June 8, 2006, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Hard to buy the concept...

    by JackRabbitSlim

    When the population of SubSaharan Africa will double in 30 years - oh wait - everyone ignores Africa any way - my bad.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:36 a.m. CST

    The Man with the Golden Cock

    by Gunschlinger

    This must be one of those shit sequels like American Psycho 2.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Sounds ridiculous....just fucking ridiculous

    by Doctor_Sin

    It's one of those sci-fi premises that right from the start undercuts any attempt to suspend disbelief. The whole 'last baby born on earth' thing is a stretch that I don't know I am capable of making. It's like having a future society with collective mass amnesia who don't have any clue that their previous generation(s) were technically advanced. Ho-hum. I mean, it sounds interesting as far as the actual plot goes, but it'll have to have beakers and vials full of 'Wow Juice' before I am convinced.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Sounds like 2019: After the Fall of New York.

    by Borgnine JR

    Classic spaghetti Sci-Fi.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:50 a.m. CST

    One really amusing element of these post-apoc flix...

    by Roguewriter

    ... is the idea that a single pregnant woman "is the key to the survival of the human race." How? They gonna line up and knock her up every nine months til her uterus falls out? How is one fertile woman ever going to make a difference, when statistics suggest you'd need hundreds or even thousands of fertile individuals to sustain a human community that had no other recourse for repopulating itself. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of a sterile world spinning down toward the end of the human race -- it's great, epic film fantasy. But scaring up a single breeder ain't gonna stop the inevitable. This smacks of Y: THE LAST MAN -- anyone read that comic book series? Fun stuff...

  • June 8, 2006, 8:53 a.m. CST

    I concur, Doc Paz & godoffireinhell

    by Tony Mike Hall

    These reviews come off as plantish to me. Very plantesque if you will. The second one more than the first, IMO. Although I hadn't heard of this film and am now intrigued so mission accomplished. Dammit!

  • June 8, 2006, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Who cares...and a funny Julliane Moore story

    by UncleEthan

    Who cares if these are plants...Curon's film sounds brilliant even if these two pieces of copy were written by studio ad folks. (Which they may have been). Curon has not stumbled yet and I'll watch anything he makes. That said I have a funny story about Moore. My college friend/rromate was an actors son. This actor worked on a film with Moore. We were visiting his Dad on set and having a toke in the trailer while the old man was out working. Moore bust into the trailer coming to see her fellow actor and finds two college students and a swirl of dope smoke. Then she laid into us: "This is my job. We are professionals. This isn't...ths isn't a frat house!" To this day whenever I see her all I can think about is..."This isn't a frat house." No it isn't boys and girls..no it isn't.

  • June 8, 2006, 9:34 a.m. CST

    thatpeterguy

    by jasper Stillwell

    Fair enough, everyone has an opinion - I just see a guy who is admittedly getting better with each film (Inside Man seems to show a real improvement) but still lacks real weight as an actor. 'Closer', I didn't much care for and its the one everyone cites as a big moment for the man, to me it seemed as big a dubious, middle-class navel-gazing as I've seen in a mulitplex cinema for some time. The fact that Owen stood out so much for many was I think due primarily to the fact he was up against that vaucous talent-free stick of wood, Jude Law. Who admittedly made Owen look like RSC material in comparison. Owen is Ok but not great, his voice lacks definition, modulation and his accent limits him. As you mentioned 'King Arthur' I have to say which, in watching the trailers, he actually made people laugh out loud when he spoke. His turn in Sin City was a little suspect too, he looked great (half the battle) but compared to Willis he seemed strictly amateur hour. Owen may get better in time but I draw comparisons to Terence Stamp as Zod (who incidentally I love to death in that role as a bit of campery!) as we're not talking 'quality acting' but just someone very 'engaging' and who matches the aesthetic of the film, rather than actually simply being a very good actor. I'm sure he's a nice bloke though

  • June 8, 2006, 9:46 a.m. CST

    We'll all be infertile in two years.

    by cookylamoo

    And that's supposed to be a BAD thing. As I see it, that's the only hope this planet has.

  • June 8, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Re: The Children of Men

    by jasper Stillwell

    ...also does this mean we're back to Nicholas Cage with his cock sticking out of a wicker man for 'milking' again? Is this a theme-du-jour in Hollywood at the mo? Like Volcanos a few years back, CGI bug movies, Alexandewr the Great biopics etc? Always liked 'Boy and His Dog' for that scenario with the undergound city and Don Johnson tied up to a machine being 'drained off' as a bid to 'repopulate'. Very funny and a great little film too, Johnson's best *and that ain't saying much I guess...*

  • June 8, 2006, 10 a.m. CST

    Sounds a bit like a movie I once saw...

    by brycemonkey

    I think it was Belgian? Kind of like Planet of the Apes except these 2 dudes return and there is only a female population. No guys at all anymore. (I think they got rid of men because they cause trouble and don't do any house work. I'm looking your way UncleEthan.) So they then put a bunch of their love-splooge into the breeding tanks. A voila- boy and girl babies. There was a buch of nakedness too. Ahh, happy days. Anyone know what that one was called?

  • June 8, 2006, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Julianne Moore is a whore (that rhymes)

    by Tony Mike Hall

    Awesome JM story, UncleEthan. Why that bitch should be put off by a little KIND when she runs around flashing her tits in every movie, playing whores in LEBOWSKI and BOOGIE NIGHTS, is beyond me. "I'm a professional" - fuck you, you're a whore. I hope you two laughed in her face while you were kicking it in... Ray Liotta's trailer (HANNIBAL)???

  • June 8, 2006, 10:35 a.m. CST

    You guys are so sad it makes me laugh

    by Lovecraftfan

    Two great reviews that make it sound like smart sci fi from a reliable director and you guys of course thinks its going to be terrible. What are all of you insane or something. Do you just not like movies or something. Also who cares if its not exactly like the book. If you want the book then read it. This is Cuarons interpretation of the book. Give a really good director some slack.

  • June 8, 2006, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Spartans....

    by Trevor Goodchild

    ...anyone watching the 300 'making of' quicktimes?

  • June 8, 2006, 10:56 a.m. CST

    No fertility?

    by Trevor Goodchild

    Maybe this will feature Nic Cage's cock hanging out the front for milking then.

  • June 8, 2006, 11 a.m. CST

    Jasper

    by thatpeterguy

    You are reasonable man. Can't say I argue with anything you said aside from you not appreciating how he stole Closer from three other actors who whether you appreciate their "acting" abilities or not certainly have great screen prescence. That's no small feat. And yeah, he was on the ball in Inside Man.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Actually Tony...

    by UncleEthan

    We we're both kind of embarrassed. Not only because the way she chewed us out made me feel like I was getting verbally hammered by one of my grade school teachers, but also I had seen her bush at film school screening of "Short Cuts" a few weeks before and that made things a little wierd. She is a good actress, though. Calling her a whore is mean. Seriously. I don't have a problem with a woman who expresses herself sexually and I think all of those roles you named were great and laudable performances. I don't mean to take the piss out of your post, but that is the truth. No...sorry it wasn't Liotta's trailer although there wasa later film with him I was around for. He is a brilliant, brilliant actor. As for Anchorite...I agree with you about that particular weed moment not making the film brilliance (A fairly juvenille observation)...but you should chill with the judgemental shit. There are extremely intelligent and talented people who toke up on a regular basis and the trancendent nature of mind altering substances cannot be pushed out of artistic expression just because you are some sort of repressive prude or pseudo intellectual snob.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Burned into my retina

    by jasper Stillwell

    Cheers thatpeterguy! Appreciated. I'll have to agree to disagree on Law, I dunno, I just don't see it with the guy. I mean he's good looking n' all, I guess can be 'lit well' but to me it's just he seems so lightweight in everything? (He was 'OK' in 'Road to Perdition' but then there so many actors who could have done a similar or indeed better job). I mean I guess people are rewarding him for 'uglying up'. Which to me seems pointless. Every part I see Law in he's just 'jobbing-London-actor'. He never gets me to suspend disbelief. I guess I'm still amazed at the audacity in taking on 'Alfie'! And Trevor, yep, I'd pay good money to see that. Who says 'High concept' is dead?

  • June 8, 2006, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Law's only great performance...

    by brycemonkey

    was in Gattaca. He rocked in that (partially as it was against type). Everything else has been pretty thin. He does command your attention when onscreen but for a soon to be bald man he coasts on his looks too much... Anyone know the foreign flick I mentioned that sounds like this? Enquiring minds etc...

  • June 8, 2006, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Law can be brilliant

    by Lovecraftfan

    He was awesome in Perdition and stole the movie from everyone else. He was also brilliant in AI a one of kind performance.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Bryce

    by jasper Stillwell

    You're right about Law, that peculiar kind of blankness worked in his favour as a fallen member of a 'detached elite' - fair point, yep. That foreign film though has stumped me, can't think what it is at the mo'. I have too much of Nic Cage, 'hang dog' and 'hanging out', embedded in my mind's eye possibly.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:32 a.m. CST

    A I

    by jasper Stillwell

    Yeah you'd think that'd work, a plastic-looking robot, wouldn't you? But nope. Couldn't see it. I just in my own bitter fucked up little way saw 'London-wannabe-gets-lucky-beyond-belief-in-uneasy-Kubrick/Spielberg-hybrid'. Each to their own though by all means, I liked 'Lost in Space' and can't really justify why to many people.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:39 a.m. CST

    two years!?

    by Holodigm

    but my balls drop in three!!!!

  • June 8, 2006, 11:41 a.m. CST

    agreed jasper...

    by brycemonkey

    couldn't get into him in AI and although good in Perdition that wasit for me (although Hanks was only 'fine' in it too). He's just so hateful and arrogant in Gattaca... "My eye's are prettier!" Agree too on Nc cage I'll only watch Wickerman if he says to the pagans, "What do you, faggots want?". Hang-dog yes, I've also heard his facial expression descibed as "stunned cunt". Pardon my French. ;-)

  • June 8, 2006, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Jarv, that sounds a little more feasible.

    by Roguewriter

    But given the state of the world today, I for one still vote for total sterility of the species. Let's give the dogs and the gophers a chance.

  • June 8, 2006, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Arf!

    by jasper Stillwell

    ...and as each customer drifts past and squeezes a bit more man-juice out...Nic in full Elvis drawl: 'thank-yew-very-much'....fuck me, I need to get out more.

  • June 8, 2006, 12:27 p.m. CST

    You couldnt get into him in AI. Really

    by Lovecraftfan

    I would rank that up there with his best performances. His mannerisms and facial expressions or no facial expressions were dead on. he should have been nominated for that.

  • June 8, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    This can't be better than 'Cyborg'

    by ATARI

    Van Damms masterpiece, IMHO.

  • June 8, 2006, 12:34 p.m. CST

    AI Part 2

    by jasper Stillwell

    Yeah it's a personal thing, I suspect - it's just even in that I'm watching him 'acting' and I just see him subconciously signposting to us that he is. Whereas some actors, (which is as much down to script, setting, directors etc I know) just make me forget I'm watching them as actors, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Capote comes immediately to mind (maybe a bad example here?), which I thought was going to be just a staright impersonation but due to a combination of elements I simply forgot I was watching Hoffman and just got saw a different person on-screen. Law has never convinced me in that way. Anyway if it comes to awkward man/boy/robot types then I give you Rutger Hauer, who perfectly displayed the emotional maturity of a 4 year old in Blade Runner perfectly. He WAS Roy for me.

  • June 8, 2006, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Grammar

    by jasper Stillwell

    Wrote that in a hurry, so the grammar went to shit - major apologies!

  • June 8, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Oh well Lovecraft...

    by brycemonkey

    to each their own I suppose, maybe I need to check it out again. It's all good. *** And anchorite, Joe Ezsterhaus tokes up regularly and he wrote Sliver AND Showgirls! Kind of blows your argument out of the water now doesn't it, Nark. Hate Crimes! ;-)

  • June 8, 2006, 1:11 p.m. CST

    Toking up...

    by Roguewriter

    I've now had the same lone, crumpled doobie wrapped in a pinch of aluminum foil in my butter-dish for what seems like 2-3 years. I quit drinking a decade ago, and ever since then, weed just seems kinda pointless to me as well. But man, what I'd give for a little of that transcendent mind alteration these days!! Ahhh, when will they invent the perfect, non-addictive drug for Type-A addictive personalities?!??!?! And in regard to Jude Law, I thought he was incredible in A.I. -- one of the best things about that highly underrated adult fairy tale. His final scene put a huge lump in my throat. Of course, I have this terrible suspicion he based his entire performance on Meg Ryan's flibbertigibbet character in JOE VS. THE VOLCANO, but I'm weird like that. Hey, maybe I'm stoned!!! =)

  • June 8, 2006, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Leave UncleEthan alone, anchorite

    by Tony Mike Hall

    Anyone who blows a bongload of hash smoke in the face of that whore Julianne Moore is A-OK in my book. That dirty slut. Now, let's dig into the real mystery: UncleEthan's friend's dad starred in movies with both that hussy Moore and Ray Liotta. First one to figure it out wins my undying admiration. Last one to get to IMDB is Julianne Whore.

  • June 8, 2006, 1:35 p.m. CST

    On a serious note anchorite...

    by brycemonkey

    you do come off sounding like a fun hating prude and overbearing to boot. I'm not getting at you, to each his own, dude. Personally I think drugs (in all their forms) are not bad, but abusing them is. BTW Best smoke + movie game is this. Watch LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring, and everytime an onscreen character smokes a bowl so do you. In that version of the movie the good guys are not your friends! :-P

  • June 8, 2006, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Julianne Moore

    by Lovecraftfan

    Shes a dirt slut and whore because why?

  • June 8, 2006, 2:08 p.m. CST

    So many people so wrong at the same time!

    by OurManInMontr

    It would be extremely surprising if this movie ended up sucking. Cuaron flirts with genius on a regular basis. This will likely end up alongside shit like "Solaris"(both of them), "The Matrix"(first one only!), "Code 46", "2001", "2046", "THX 1138", shit, even "Equilibrium" on the 'Surprisingly Smart and Adult Sci-fi' shelf in my mind. Too damn bad for you if your mind don't have that shelf. It's cozy.

  • June 8, 2006, 2:11 p.m. CST

    by TheBlackKnight

    Earlier this year I burst in on Moore in her trailer while she was doing a line off of Sammy Jackson's ass. I screamed and yelled at her, wondering how she could do this to herself. Freedomland, that is.

  • June 8, 2006, 2:13 p.m. CST

    i am the first reviewer, coolguy

    by sandisoverrated

    and that wasn't a plant. I just really enjoyed the film, is there anything so wrong with that?

  • June 8, 2006, 2:27 p.m. CST

    sandisoverrated, Lovecraftfan, TheBlackKnight

    by Tony Mike Hall

    In that order. sandisoverrated: there is so much wrong with that, I can't even begin to tell you. And I'm not going to bother, I just don't have the time. Lovecraftfan: Is she a dirt slut too? I never figured her for cocaine, if you know something I don't know, clue me in. Otherwise, she stills stands guilty as charged for showing here breastessess all willy nilly in everu film she's in while maintaining she's a "professional" when faced with pot smokers. She's a pro, all right, if you know what I mean. And I'm guessing you probably don't. TheBlackKnight: Finally. Someone who doesn't take this board so damn seriously. You can smoke out in my trailer any time.

  • June 8, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Clive Owen

    by reelgriff

    Is this the film that really gives Clive an opportunity to break wide open?

  • June 8, 2006, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Tony Mike Hall

    by Lovecraftfan

    I have no idea what youre talking about.

  • June 8, 2006, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Actually Lovecraft Fan...

    by CRanapia

    Some of my favourite movies are literary adaptations that take considerable, even radical, liberties with the source material without totally dumbing down - Rear Window, LA Confidential, Howl's Moving Castle, Battle Royale and Ringu immediately come to mind. I really hope I'm wrong - but I don't think Michael Caine with the munchies while a pretty bog-standard chase thriller plays out around him exactly screams "genius from Kubrick's heir"!

  • June 8, 2006, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Anchorite...

    by UncleEthan

    Anchorite

  • June 8, 2006, 4:25 p.m. CST

    What I really like is how Uncle Ethan...

    by Roguewriter

    ... is right in the middle of a point and sort of trails off and. Hey, what was I saying... =) Nooope, nothing here to indicate the ganja's messin with ya, dude. ;)

  • June 8, 2006, 4:31 p.m. CST

    CRanapia

    by Lovecraftfan

    I still dont really see how you think this is going to be a standard movie. Considering Cuarons track record I tend to give him leeway.

  • June 8, 2006, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Roguewriter...

    by UncleEthan

    You have provoked in me...serious, deeply felt laughter. I think it may be the adult on-set ADD I seem to be plaugued with more than my past drug use/experimentation/and or abuse. Besides- my dealer is in jail right now (For something totally unrelated to drugs or violence) and I am currently dry. Speaking of rambling...why do people say that they "Experimented" with drugs. What, exactly, was the control? Lifebefore the weed. Who knows...what was I saying?

  • June 8, 2006, 4:54 p.m. CST

    I know a dude...

    by brycemonkey

    who was such a good customer that he even played on some teams with his dealer. He also got told that "He should really cut down on all the pills etc. he was taking". I think that is when you know you have a little problem. When your dealer tells you you need to cut back on all the drugs! Peace.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:21 p.m. CST

    milking nic cage?

    by Holodigm

    is this some movie i'm missing?

  • June 8, 2006, 5:27 p.m. CST

    "Milking Nic Cage" = "Being John Malkovich"

    by Doctor_Sin

    Plot: "An AICN TBer wakes up one morning to find his consciousness has occupied Nic Cage's body for one whole day. Nic is in the middle of the whole Superman/Ghost Rider thing when our geek decides to go for broke." Bank. Muy banco!!!

  • June 8, 2006, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Lovecraftfan & Cutting Cuaron Slack

    by CRanapia

    Fair enough. I probably will too - I think 'Y Tu Mama Tambien' and Cuaron's Harry Potter were good but way over-rated, but he's hardly a no-talent hack whose eyes should be poked out as a public service. But even the great golden gods in my cinematic pantheon have their stinkers; and while I hope I'm wrong, this looks like Cuaron trying to do a Soderbergh - one big dumb commercial project for them, a and hopefully that will give me the pull to do a more 'personal' film next time out.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:29 p.m. CST

    And If I'm Wrong And Harry's Right...

    by CRanapia

    then I'll quite happily come back here and eat crow, with a whole humble pie for dessert. :)

  • June 8, 2006, 5:41 p.m. CST

    hey

    by frank cotton

    BRYCEMONKEY - good crack on UNCLE ETHAN, altho i have to take his side - it won't be the potheads that run this world into the ground; save your disparaging remarks for crackheads and politicians and other low-life scum that really deserve them. that goes for yoy too, ANCHORITE. more potheads and less alchoholics, i say.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Commercial film- CRanapia

    by Lovecraftfan

    I see your point but if you read the reviews youll notice they stress the film avoids doing what scifi films usually does and not give a big wad of exposition but rather let you figure out through settle clues. At least that aspect doesnt sound very commerical to me. Also if youre reffering to oceans Elevn in a dumb commercial film I ahve to disagree I thought it was a great time and surprisngly well put together. The sequel sucked though.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:44 p.m. CST

    and another thing

    by frank cotton

    personally, i'd like to see more actresses flashing their tits - way too many 'i'm too good for that types' out there. funny how they'll take their tops off at the beach for anyone to see, but not in a film.

  • June 8, 2006, 5:48 p.m. CST

    yet one more thing

    by frank cotton

    so what was wrong with JUDE LAWS performance in A.I.? while not a bad film overall (despite the never-ending ending), Judes performance was the highlight.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Frank - I Don't Think Jude Law Is a 'Bad Actor'

    by CRanapia

    ...in the sease you regularly wonder, "how much cock did he have to suck to get this part". But I don't think he's good enough that he can transcend a crap script or weak direction. (Much the same for Clive Owen, come to that.) Does that make any sense? I'd respectfully dissent on A.I. - really terrible film, but the problem wasn't the performances but the director's pathological need to pour syrup over everything no matter how tonally or thematically inappropriate. Spielberg just doesn't have the sensibility to really go dark without undercutting it with cheap sentimentality - just look at AI, Minority Report and War of the Worlds.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:22 p.m. CST

    anchorite, seriously now

    by thatpeterguy

    I'm not going to bash you cause you are an easy target being a tightly wound conservative on a pedominantly open-minded message board but man weed is at least as bad as alcohol and when you dismiss anyone who smokes it it makes you sound very ignorant. I know you are smarter than that. In my life, while drunk I have been in half a dozen street fights, driven my car, had unprotected sex, etc. etc. etc. While high I haven't done much more than add to my waistline and the odd time figure out a plot point in one of my scripts. Neither are good for you but it is simply a cultural thing that we are lead to demonize one drug and not the other. Canada for instance is very lax on it's drug laws (carrying over 15 grams or 30 large joints is a small fine) but you can't buy alcohol after ten o'clock and even then you can only buy it from The Beer Store or The Liquour Store whereas in South Korea having a roach puts you in jail for 50 days while you can buy alcohol 24 hours a day anywhere you want. Neither country is right or wrong it's just culture ideas on what is the acceptable way to do things.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:40 p.m. CST

    At long last, it all finally makes perfect sense.

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    In order to enjoy a Cuaron film you need to be on powerful mind altering substances. Completely explains why his flicks are blundering gibberish to the rest of us.

  • June 8, 2006, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Ffolkes...

    by UncleEthan

    That was a totaly cool flick. Seriously. Best Roger Moore movie ever. As for Cuaron's films being gibberish...I would beg to differ. His Potter film was the bestof the bunch. It made perfect since. No one here is suggesting that mind altering substances give you any special insight. What they, and I, are saying is that to discredit artist who may have used those substances as a jumping off point is to blindly slam many great and powerful works. I could spend allnight listing artist or their work that was in some way influenced orenhanced by drug use...but it would take all night. That said- loosen up. Seriously. Don't be an enemy of fun. Embrace your inner pot head. I embrace mine from time to time. He hangs out in my psyche with my inner child, my inner JeffBridges, and my inner old man. You have to watch the old fucker, though...he is twisted.

  • June 8, 2006, 10:03 p.m. CST

    CRANAPIA

    by frank cotton

    actually that was directed at someone else further above. but it is nice to know some of my posts get read, unlike the most excellent, albeit off topic post in the LUHRMAN article

  • June 8, 2006, 10:13 p.m. CST

    a word on weed

    by frank cotton

    i don't usually get involved in drug arguments, but i recently spent a few months trying to get some one off of crack, and feel that qualifies me to throw in my two cents. every dollar wasted busting and prosecuting pot is a dollar in the toilet that could have been spent on something useful, like leveling crackhouses and meth labs and busting and prosecuting heroin dealers, that are the real problem. low life vermin that make a living off of the weak willed and deserve nothing better than to be lined up against a wall and shot, and put on public display as a warning. and don't give me that 'gateway drug bullshit', either. the real gateway drug is beer, available legally at the nearest convenience store, and easily obtained by the underaged with a small bribe to anyone willing break the law to offset their own beer costs.

  • June 8, 2006, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Not gibberish

    by Lovecraftfan

    Ive only seen two Cuaron films HP and A Little Prices and theyre not gibberish. A Little Princess is one of the best live action childrens films of the 90s. His HP was the ONLY HP film where the director actually put his own mark on it rather than slavishly recreating the book. Also I loved his directing in that film.

  • June 8, 2006, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Frank Cotton

    by thatpeterguy

    I couldn't agree more. At first I thought you were going to say your friend got addicted because of weed but you went on to perfectly echo my feelings on the subject. Well done sir.

  • June 8, 2006, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Right on!

    by UncleEthan

    Right on Frank. I hope your friend has a full recovery. I don't think, however, that all drug addicts are weak willed. There is some scientific evidence to support the notion that drug addiciton is often a disease which causes untold suffering on it's victim.

  • June 9, 2006, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Holodigm - many LOLs!

    by scrumdiddly

  • June 9, 2006, 9:05 a.m. CST

    frank cotton

    by brycemonkey

    Sorry, I didn't think I was being that hard on Uncle Ethan, my "disparaging remarks" were more a lighthearted sarcastic stab at anchorite. I then went on to (I thought) support Uncle Ethan, see my post headed: On a serious note anchorite... Anyway, just to clarify, my views are very similar to yours. Peace.

  • June 9, 2006, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Drugs are great

    by JackRabbitSlim

    They keep the populace pacified, easier to control. An angry voting public is a bad thing. Keeps ... certain undesired elements of society under control and the idea is to keep it in their communities. Some leaks out but hey thats the price you pay.

  • June 9, 2006, 7:03 p.m. CST

    lookin' forward to it

    by blackthought

  • June 10, 2006, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Sign Me Up

    by Evil Chicken

    This can

  • June 11, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    i'm willing to bet

    by frank cotton

    that most of my favorite directors were absolutely wasted when directing most of my favorite films, probabaly when writing the scripts, too. if you haven't reached the transcendental/ enlightenment level yet, you just aren't smoking enough - time for a bigger, better bong. i don't think pot has had any serious negative effect on society. alcohol, definitely. but i've never read in the papers anywhere about loser assholes getting arrested for beating their wive's after burning one, and don't ever expect to. haven't heard of too many flashes of brilliance coming at the end of keg of bear, either. but to each, their own.

  • June 12, 2006, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Stunning ignorance.

    by Andy_Christ

    "One really amusing element of these post-apoc flix... by Roguewriter June 8th, 2006 08:50:51 AM CST ... is the idea that a single pregnant woman "is the key to the survival of the human race." How? They gonna line up and knock her up every nine months til her uterus falls out? How is one fertile woman ever going to make a difference, when statistics suggest you'd need hundreds or even thousands of fertile individuals to sustain a human community that had no other recourse for repopulating itself. " One pregnant woman in a world full of infertile people wouldn't be enough to repopulate the world, but WOULD have something different about her which could be the key to understanding why everyone's infertile and/or fixing it. The only way this premise is idiotic is if they DON'T play it like this. Then I agree. And I guess there are some similarities to Y: the last man.

  • Nov. 29, 2006, 3:39 p.m. CST

    The film is brilliant

    by krzys

    I am glad to see such a positive review. I like the movie so much I watched it three times. I agree with every good thing Harry wrote about it and he did not even mention an important layer of the movie which is the philosophy. For me the film is kind of agnostic in character, it makes interesting, indirect allusions to the Jesus story. One of the key moments in the film is when Jasper explains the difference between faith and chance. There is the book "I Ching" on Jasper's desk and I am sure Cuaron had reasons for that. I also loved that a song from the first album of King Crimson is used, it fits the moment perfectly, as Theo is entering the seat of a powerful member of Government: the court of the Crimson King (Crimson King - better known as Beelzebub). It is a deceptively simple story which has social and philosophical undertones, which can be discussed for hours after watching the film. At the same time one could call an action movie, violent at times, which grips your attention and does not let go. Despite all the gloom in it, it leaves me with an uplifting feeling about the human spirit and the ability to sacrifice.