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AICN COMICS REVIEWS 52! RED SONJA! AND A WHOLE MESS OF INDIES!!!!!

#2 5/10/06 #5

The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)

52: WEEK ONE
THE TOURIST
RED SONJA #9
Indie Jones presents I AM SPARTACUS
Indie Jones presents CTHULU TALES #1
Indie Jones presents LITTLE STAR
Indie Jones presents…
CHEAP SHOTS!

52: WEEK ONE

Writers: Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, and Mark Waid
Art: Keith Giffen (breakdowns), Joe Bennett (pencils), and Ruy Jose (inks)
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug

It’s an ambitious project. A weekly series, unfolding in about as real a time as a comic can get. One issue a week for fifty two weeks, focusing on that missing year that takes place between the end of the INFINITE CRISIS and the ONE YEAR LATER re-starting point which has already hit most of DC’s line of super books. Despite its pitfalls and slight missteps, I found myself to be one of those in the “I liked INFINITE CRISIS” camp. I recognize its flaws. I recognize that the message it was trying to convey was a bit convoluted as it seemed to shift from condemning the current status of the DCU to acknowledging it to cuddling it and taking it out for a steak dinner, then it sort of veered off by raping it and torching its quivering remains. But I have to admit, for seven plus months, INFINITE CRISIS was the first book I would read when I got home from the comic shop and the one I was thinking about when I finished the weekly stack. I wanted to see what was going to happen. To me, it was an event. A successful event. Successful in that it did in fact turn the DCU on its ear and make people take notice. Now that it is over, though, these guys at DC still have a lot of fixing left to do. More so than ever, the DCU is a mess.

Enter 52.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’m getting pretty jaded about all of these events and crossovers. DC barely lets the corpse of the last event grow cold before hitting us in the face with a new “event.” But I feel that above all else, DC should be commended for keeping this massive INFINITE CRISIS crossover tightly together over the last few months. Issues that tied into INFINITE CRISIS often came out in the same week. There were very few burps in schedule that I noticed. All in all, DC kept the crossover high and tight.

And that’s why I am kind of rooting for 52.

The issue is a pretty strong one. Focusing on some of the second tier or tertiary characters of the DCU, this issue sails along smoothly, reintroducing you to who the stars of the DCU are now that the Big Three are MIA. Leading the pack is Booster Gold and, for me, this is what made this issue shine. Booster has always been a character ripe with potential and one of the few outstanding personalities of the DCU. He’s a showboat. A ham. Not so much a hero as he is an opportunist who recognizes that a lot of good things come with doing good deeds. He’s no squeaky cleaner. He’s not above selling himself for profit and fame, an aspect of his character highlighted by the many product placements he has decorating his costume. I love it that Booster has become a fighting, flying NASCAR racecar covered with sponsors, always worrying about his public image first.

Other great characters such as the Question, Renee Montoya (from GOTHAM CENTRAL), Steel, and the Elongated Man are allowed to shine, each reeling from the events of INFINITE CRISIS and the drama leading up to it all. The story is pretty seamless. You can tell a lot of collaboration has gone into this series. Writers like Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, and Mark Waid have steered the DCU into a specific direction over the last year. There are bits and pieces I could guess came from a specific writer (something tells me it was probably Morrison to come up with Booster’s product placement costume…it seems like something he would think up and the brunt of Montoya’s story will probably be covered by ex-GOTHAM CENTRAL writer Rucka), but this really does seem like a labor of love for this group of some of the most talented writers in the industry.

But this is by far not a perfect comic. Ralph’s suicidal ideation and Booster’s flipping-the-fuck-out sequences are two tiny missteps that seemed a bit out of character, but by the end of this issue I was intrigued and excited about this series.

One thing’s for sure, the art team of Keith Giffen, Joe Bennett, and Ruy Jose is top notch. From facial expressions to details and camera angles, this is an art team who knows how to do old-school super hero cool. It’s a clean crisp style that allows these heroic figures a chance to shine and doesn’t get in the way of telling a powerful story.

I know many of you are pissed at DC right now. I know many are fed up with crossovers and events. I find myself, more and more, feeling the same way these days. For years, comics were trying to be stand-alone. Now they’re all interconnected. Somewhere in between, a cohesive and inclusive, yet interesting in and of itself comic universe is out there. Somewhere in between, you don’t have to buy all of the titles to understand the story, but could see that the events are happening in the same universe if you pick up a few. But aside from my feelings towards crossovers and events, as I look at this 52 comic and the original route it plans to go in order to tell its story, I have to admit that I am intrigued, interested, and as far as this issue is concerned, entertained.


THE TOURIST

Writer: Brian Wood
Penciler: Toby Cypress
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

For the past couple of years, the name Brian Wood has become synonymous with quality comic books. Starting with the Indy sensation DEMO and now currently with two of the most critically acclaimed books on the market (DMZ for DC's Vertigo, and LOCAL from Oni Press) it's become pretty much a no-brainer in this reviewer’s mind to instantly order anything solicited with Brian's name on it. Therefore, enter THE TOURIST.

THE TOURIST is a decent sized Original Graphic Novel put out through Image comics. It's the story of a former Special Forces soldier, simply named Moss, who has abandoned his former profession for more lucrative (i.e. illegal) pursuits. One day, Moss wanders into a small town off of the North Sea and into the lives of a single mother and her daughter, and turns the town on its head. Said lonely single mom and Moss fall in love almost immediately, but the locals are both jealous of this relationship and suspicious of this stranger’s intent, as well they should be since his purpose there is to case the area and perpetrate a very profitable drug smuggling scheme via a local oil rig that supports the village. So what's a man to do when it comes down to choosing between two things that people rarely find in life, love or wealth?

Overall, I would put this OGN in the "enjoyable" column. The main appeal is that it is a very reasonably priced book at just ten dollars and entertains fairly well with a somewhat intriguing story and a nice cast of characters. There's some genuine emotion in this book as we get some glimpses of the rather immediate relationship between Moss and single mother Julie Tucker and how they gel together and why. Moss himself works well as your typical "wandering badass" type—that cool customer with a plan that has delighted so many in classic Westerns and modern day action flicks alike. These are elements that work very well in this graphic novel format.

The one thing I thought the book lacked was its ability to maintain a high level of suspense. Obviously, given the circumstances of Moss and Julie's relationship and Moss' line of work, you can see there is going to be a point where the two come to a head and cause lots of friction. But when it finally does, it just comes out sort of flat. You never really feel that Julie and her daughter are in any danger until it actually happens because of their association with Moss and it just kind of hits you blatantly in the face when it does. It's not often I'll say this, but I think this might have worked better as a mini-series with some tight cliffhangers to build the tension. But all said and done, there's enough genuine feeling in here that it tells a very competent tale of opportunity and loss.

Artistically as well, the book has some really great high notes but a decent bit of missteps. The main issue is that a lot of the pages are way too simplistic and seem rushed. Obviously, just working in black and whites, there's going to be some depth missing that coloring can and usually does hide. But there are more than a few pages where there seriously are just a few squiggles and lines that make up some scenery and some semblance of human shape. Plus I noticed a lot of unusual, uh, "nosery.” So many times, in a serious moment, you'd be looking at the face of the character talking in the center of that panel and there would just be two dots for nostrils or some weird "w" shape. It would almost make the character's face look, I dunno, "piggish." But it's a shame because it's obvious with some of the more detailed pages that this Toby Cypress has some genuine goddamn talent. Some pages are so atmospheric and there's some very in-depth ink work that remind me so much of the art of another indie phenom, Paul Pope. Again, like the writing, I'd put the art in the "competent" area, but I can tell that with some craft-honing, there will be some great stuff coming from this guy in the future.

So the book has faults, but at the same time, it's only a ten-spot and for ten bucks, it delivers. It's definitely rough around the edges, but it has some really good moments and, at the very least, it shows a lot of potential from both parties involved in its creation. There's better stuff you could be buying right now, sure, but if you have some loose bills and an hour to kill, THE TOURIST is worth a try.


RED SONJA #9

Writer: Michael Avon Oeming
Artists: Mel Rubi and Pablo Marcos
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Reviewer: Sleazy G

When this series first launched, I was hesitant to pick it up. The character’s history is mired in controversy, as is the publisher, so I had a feeling things might not go so well. Still, when I saw Mike Carey was co-writing with Michael Avon Oeming I figured I’d take a chance. It started out okay: Carey seemed to have the basics of the genre down, and there were some cool/creepy snake-dude adversaries. Hell, he even managed to get away with something few people are willing to attempt: he had the hero hack through a room full of children (well, demons in child form, but still…). It wasn’t starting any fires, and I may not have been blown away by what I was reading enough, but it was decent and had some cool twists thrown in so I stuck with it.

Then, a month or two ago, I noticed a sudden dip in quality. And by “dip” I mean it went from “not bad” to “really, really bad”. I mean, it went from okay issue to stinkin’ the joint up issue without warning. It was so lousy I caught myself wondering “who the fuck wrote this? It ain’t Carey”, at which point I flipped to the front cover and confirmed he had left the book, leaving only Michael Avon Oeming to write.

Bad idea.

The thing about comic books in general is that you have to walk a line where you have to use the ideas and the lingo without coming off as a clichéd hack, and that just ain’t happening here. The first issue after Carey left was full of really half-baked narration panels, dialogue that sounded like it came out of “Lord of the G-String” (like nobody else caught that late nite on Showtime?) and action that had lost its edge. Those, along with strong evidence that neither an editor nor any spellchecking software were employed in the production process, were enough to give me a migraine. I’ve hung in for the last few issues hoping it would improve because issue 12 is supposed to have a “shocking reveal” as to who the villain is, even though Vegas bookies have the odds at 8 to 1 right now on Thulsa Doom. Me, though? I say smart money’s on Sandahl Bergman. Not her character from the movie, mind you—actually Sandahl Bergman.

I’ll grant that issue 9 here isn’t quite as bad as the first non-Carey issue (which was wretched). This issue just manages to seem like it’s trying to hard and still comes off as clichéd. If you’re looking for a tale of a hardened warrior training a young girl to be a killer, it’s not too bad, and getting to see her first kill and its aftereffects is nice. The girl’s surprise at finding it didn’t affect her the way she expected is a decent idea, but could have been executed with a little oomph. There is one quality moment, though, and credit where it’s due: the girl asks Sonja why she dresses so provocatively considering her past and her attitude towards men. Sonja seems a little taken aback, and after thinking about it, says she thought she was doing it to distract her opponents or make them think her weak…or maybe, subconsciously, it’s her way of drawing the kind of filth to her that raped her when she was young, getting her revenge over and over again. I admit to being taken a bit aback by both the elegant simplicity and psychological depth of this explanation, and it’s the one thing that gives the series a glimmer of hope.

It really is just a glimmer, though, and I have to lay the responsibility for that at the feet of the publisher. Dynamite really is a crappy venture from pretty much any angle, all flash and very little substance. The regular SONJA series was given no time whatsoever to build a loyal following or garner praise—within a month or two of its launch there was a flood of one-shots and miniseries that have been overpriced, low on story and frankly hard to give a shit about. Seeing as how Dynamite is run by the same people as Dynamic Forces, their focus is on only one thing: profit. Every single issue of this title to date has had at least four “variant” covers, which is fuckin’ ridiculous. There’s no call for that—unless, of course, you come from the side of the business that still focuses on limited edition foil-embossed covers signed by the artist that literally never sold at cover price (limited to 500 copies! Only $49.95!) and overpriced busts and statues. What does that mean? Well, it means that every month you have four cool-lookin’ covers, but the art inside is fairly standard and the writing is middling at best. The focus isn’t on the characters, dialogue or stories—it’s on a flashy gewgaw designed to suck in all the crows who can’t resist picking up something shiny. I don’t know what sales are like on this book, but I can guarantee they’re inflated and based on multiple purchases due to the variants.

It’s no surprise, really—Dynamite is just harpooning one license after another and cranking out variant merchandising of mediocre product left and right. Ever think you’d need four covers per issue of a half-baked miniseries starring Ash from “Evil Dead”? Well, apparently somebody does. And apparently those same people need ‘em for the likes of HIGHLANDER, XENA and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, too. The house ads in these issues are soul-deadening, too: lithographs of the variant covers, red foil on the variant covers, black and whites of the covers, trading cards of the covers, and on and on and on in more unnecessary variations than any sane person could conceive or require. It may be a fine way to run a small collectibles company and make a decent profit off the suckers, but I gotta say, it’s no way to run a publishing company.

My qualms with Dynamite were a big part of why I was hesitant to pick this series up. For the first half-dozen issues, this book was a guilty pleasure—something I hated myself for buying every time I saw the ads crammed into the back for an unrelenting stream of valueless titles and related merchandising. Once the quality of the writing took a dive, though, it pretty much sealed the series’ fate for me: the rare bright moment in this issue just isn’t enough for me to see past the sub par writing and the lack of attention the publisher is paying the actual stories. The book’s already off my pull list, and from here on out I’ll probably just check in once in a while to see if it’s still as disappointing as I expect. It’s a shame that the title started out with a hint of promise only to see it squandered, but I’ve learned my lesson—damned if I’ll keep getting burned by Dynamite at four bucks a pop for any of their dreck.


I AM SPARTACUS

Dan Wickline: Writer
Ilkka Lesonen: Artist
Publisher: Cellar Door
Vroom Socko: Not going for the obvious joke

So far, I’ve read both of the books released by the fine folks at Cellar Door Publishing, CHANCE OF A LIFETIME and SHOCKING GUN TALES. CHANCE is an exploration of superhero themes and morality, along the lines of ASTRO CITY. TALES is a pistol themed anthology that manages to go “out there” on more than one instance, the best example being a Wild West shootout where one of the duelists pulls a disintegration ray. I’ve also seen some of the early work on MINISTER JADE, a fantasy set in China’s Middle Ages with artwork to match. And then there’s this book, I AM SPARTACUS, a fully painted science fiction story set in the near future.

If you want to pigeonhole Cellar Door as a publisher, feel free to try. Me, I’ve given up.

The story here is a familiar one in comics. A monolithic corporation holds the city of Los Angeles in an economic vise. Its chairman, one Mister Halloran, has a gift for manipulating others to serve his ends. He is cold, he is nasty, and he gets what he wants. His only problem is the hooded madman who has just killed his personal aide by bludgeoning the bastard to death with his own car, then writing “I am Spartacus” on the fender with the victims own blood. This, of course, is only the beginning.

In other words, the basic story is V FOR VENDETTA set in the Delta City of ROBOCOP. What makes this story work is the way Dan Wickline builds the tension between the characters. The mystery of Spartacus and his identity is an intriguing one, and it has a payoff that not only twists like a corkscrew, but works amazingly well. I couldn’t help but laugh at the final page, it’s just beautiful. As to the work by artist Ilkka Lesonen, it fits the story like a glove. It’s moody, dark, and seriously creepy. It reminded me somewhat of the art in the comics adaptation of THE VAMPIRE LESTAT.

Cellar Door is a constant source of surprise. Besides the books mentioned above, there are two more on the slate for this year that I know absolutely nothing about. I’m certainly eager to see them up close though. If they’re anything like this one, at the very least they’ll be an entertaining read.


CTHULHU TALES #1

Writers: Various
Artists: Various
Publisher: BOOM! Studios
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger

I'm generally not a huge fan of "horror" comics. But I am a fan of anthology comics. Plus, I'm a fan of BOOM! Studios. Slickly professional comic books running the entire gamut of just about all possible genres in the comic book medium, though a bit heavy on the Zombie stuff for my taste. But I found this CTHULHU TALES anthology set within the shared horror universe created by H.P. Lovecraft to be a very good horror comic. Lovecraft is an interesting writer and an even more interesting phenomenon. In his impact upon horror writing, he's right up there with Poe. For modern horror writers, I would say his influence has overtaken Poe.

Probably my first encounter with a Lovecraftian horror was as a little kid reading an issue of the original Wein/Wrightson SWAMP THING. In that story, Swampy came face to face with this tentacled beastie from hell (or something like that-details escape me now some 30 years later). What I remember, though, is the creepy feeling the comic caused in me that kept me coming back to be scared again and again. Over the years, I was exposed to Lovecraft through Philip Jose' Farmer's Lovecraftian pastiches and schlocky films like RE-ANIMATOR. It's only in the last couple of years that I've made a point of reading some actual Lovecraft poems and stories. And here's the thing that sticks out to me. More than just the gore and the gross, there is a morose sadness to so much of what he wrote. I'll find myself feeling melancholy one moment and then nauseated the next. Lovecraft also realized that the most frightening horrors are not the external creatures from the Cthulhu pantheon of demons he imagined; the most frightening horrors are found repressed deep within each person's secret thoughts. I remember Bernie Wrightson once saying that, to him, "horror" is an image of a perfectly dressed, shaved and coiffed man in a nicely pressed suit, standing on a city street. You first notice the handsome face with the big white smile, but then you glance down and notice a single, small, drop of blood on the top of his shined and buffed shoe.

I think Lovecraft would agree. And this full-color anthology is an excellent and faithful extrapolation and exploration of Lovecraftian horror.

The first story is "The Beach," written by Michael Alan Nelson with art by Andrew Ritchie. Very unsettling story about what ungodly things an otherwise reasonable man might do when faced with sure knowledge about a coming horror. In this case, the coming horror would be Cthulhu. The second story is "Love's Craft," written by Johanna Stokes with art by Filip Sablik. This story focuses on the Arkham Sanitorium. Yes, for those not in the know, Gotham City's "Arkham Asylum" is a literary tip-of-the-hat to Lovecraft's Arkham, which was often a part of his stories. The human mind cannot truly come face-to-face with the horror of Cthulhu and maintain sanity. This sad story delves into both the temptation of and the curse of indulgence in Cthulhu.

The third story, "Witch Hunter," written by Andrew Cosby with art by Lee Carter, examines the theme of "holes." Holes in reality; holes in society; holes between dimensions; holes in our hearts; holes in our souls. Very strong story and likely one that will be followed up on in future issues as the "Witch Hunter" continues his search for "The Harridan" who stole his daughter's soul. For my money, the creepiest story was the fourth story, entitled "Quality Time." Written by John Rogers and illustrated by Andy Kuhn. They take the old cliché about parental quality time versus quantity to give a terribly disturbing comeuppance to an unreliable dad. The kid-friendly cartooning style of the artwork made this very adult story that much more unsettling and uncomfortable. Most frightening of all is that the big "reveal" at end is left to the reader's imagination. I loved that. My second favorite story was the fifth, called "Cthulhu Calls." Writer Casey Grey and artist Mark Badger present a classic tale of the jilted girlfriend and how a clever boy attempts to get out of the relationship unscathed. This time, though, the "girlfriend" is a very crushed and heartbroken Cthulhu. Which can't bode well for the boyfriend. But the image of Cthulhu outside holding the jam box over his/her/its head like John Cusack in SAY ANYTHING made me laugh out loud. Fantastically funny with a horrifying last page.

The final story, "The Oddly Amorous Phineas Flynn and the Troublesome Trouble He Got Himself In," is a piece of writing and cartooning genius from the troubled mind of Keith Giffen and the twisted brush and pen of Ben Roman. All I gotta say is watch out for who you carry a torch for. Funny and gross-out at the same time. The perfect topper to an outstanding issue. This one needs to be remembered when it's time for award nominations.


LITTLE STAR

Story and Art by Andi Watson
Publisher: Oni Press
Reviewer: Ambush Bug

I’m not a father. I’m not married. Hell, I have trouble just keeping a relationship going for more than two months. Typically, I read stories where dudes beat the snot out of other dudes. Maybe that’s my problem, but that’s not important now. This is a comic review not a therapy session. Just because my reading preferences point more towards capes and KA-POW!s doesn’t mean I can’t like other stuff too. On the surface, I wouldn’t be the reader one would typically think would enjoy a book about the trials and tribulations of a new father, but after reading LITTLE STAR, if I were married, if I did have a child, I’m pretty sure I’d act just the way the father does in this story.

And that says a lot. To make me empathize with something I have yet to become takes a pretty powerful story. Luckily, LITTLE STAR has just that. Broken into six lengthy chapters, this graphic novel highlights the fears and resentments, the joys and pains, the pleasant memories and the sacrifices, the happiness and the sorrow that every new father goes through. Simon Adams bumbles through his life. He wants to provide a good home to his wife and daughter, but like many men, he’s a dreamer. One of the ongoing themes of the book is the fact that Simon fantasizes about being something that he is not and something that he, in all likelihood, will never be. In wonderfully rendered fantasy sequences, Simon is an astronaut free-floating in vast space. This fantasy becomes reflective of how Simon is living his life. He’s a man not in control of his destiny. He can’t accept the roles of father and husband (although he seems to sincerely want to) and can’t put away the dreams of what he thought his life would turn out to be. Real life decisions such as whether or not to take a full time job, what house to buy, and how much time is appropriate to spend with his family are all stressors squeezing Simon like the pressures of the endless vacuum of space against that space suit in his fantasies. Simon is not a bad man. He’s just one of those guys whose dreams have been interrupted by real life. LITTLE STAR is a story of how one man grows up and realizes that doing so isn’t such a catastrophic thing as many perceive.

What is so effective in this story is the fact that writer Andi Watson skillfully puts Simon into one stressful situation after another and makes it all seem fresh and entertaining. In one especially effective sequence, Simon loses his daughter in a department store. How many times has this story been told? How many times has this happened to you? This is very familiar territory whether you are the one who’s lost or the one searching. Watson lets this scene unfold with great skill, showing mild panic evolve into sheer terror as Simon looks for his daughter. Simon’s overactive imagination doesn’t especially help in this scenario either. Watson’s simplistic lines and shades tell so much with so little. This book is filled with entertaining real life moments like this that are told with an honesty and insightfulness that you seldom come by.

I completely identified with Simon in this book. I too am a dreamer and if I do have the pleasure of marrying and having a child of my own some day, I could see myself having these same feelings, worries, and concerns. LITTLE STAR is a powerful read. If it can spark emotions in this sooper-hero reader, it can do the same for anyone. Put down those over-hyped crossovers and check this out. You just might learn something about yourself or something you may need to learn some time down the road.


WOLFSKIN #1
Avatar Press

Like other comics from the Avatar line, this Conan-esque yarn by Warren Ellis has a scad of variant covers, but don’t let the nineties marketing ploy fool you, it is a pretty damn entertaining read. Not much by way of deep thinking is going on, but artist Juan Jose Ryp does make some finely detailed panels. Reminiscent of Ron Lim and Glen Fabry, Ryp doesn’t shy away from the red stuff as Wolfskin hacks and slashes his way through many an enemy warrior. Others have touted Warren Ellis as a genius. I’m not really one of them, as I feel many of his books too often resort to text-book readings of popular science discoveries, but this down to earth barbarian story was pretty hard-hitting and highlights Ellis’ more interesting storytelling skills. I have to admit, though, Ellis has a great sense of dialog. With lines like “I will eat my enemy’s flesh and consider your problem” how can you not like this book? - Ambush Bug

THE TROUBLE WITH IGOR
Slave Labor Graphics

THE TROUBLE WITH IGOR is like hitching a ride through a madman’s dream. It’s a silent, stream of consciousness-type tale about a freaky hunchback-like child who finds a penny, falls into a well, wears an octopus for a hat, and has a murderous death puppet on his hand which kills people with a tiny scythe. And that’s just in the first fifteen pages. It’s twisted, it’s warped, it’s gruesome, and most importantly, it’s fun. I was definitely reminded of JOHNNY THE HOMICIDAL MANIAC, the works of Edward Gorey, and TV’s THE ADDAMS FAMILY as I read through this tale by Christopher P. Reilly and Gus Fink. One adventure flows into the next. New characters are followed for a while and then the focus returns to Igor. It’s one of those quickly devoured gems that makes you start reading it over again as soon as you finish it. - Ambush Bug

JEREMIAH HARM #1
BOOM! Studios

This series continues to highlight the best aspects of creators Keith Giffen and Alan Grant’s writing styles. It’s full of snark and wit and the main character is as tough as a comic book character can be. But again, the true highlight of this book lies in the art as Rael Lyra once again rules with his AEON FLUX-inspired art. The action is bloody and violent, Giffen and Grant bring the funny, and the plot thickens as Harm is forced to pause his fight to the finish with the deadly Ayoma Skyver in order to make short work of some thugs who stumble into the middle of their flirtatious dance of death. This issue crackles with energy as Skyver can’t decide whether she wants to fight or fuck the jaded Harm. Fun sci fi action, this one is. - Ambush Bug

HORRORWOOD #1
Ape Entertainment

This is a fun noir tale set against the dark backdrop of Hollywood where fame has a price and not everything is as it seems. I liked the stylistic art by Brent Schoonover using only reds, blacks, greys, and whites to tell the moody tale. Writer Brandon Terrell places the reader firmly in the 1950’s as a bartender is forced to track down a father she disowned after a mysterious magician walks into her bar. She crosses paths with a wounded circus strongman and the beginnings of a mystery develop. This issue has the same type of spooky noir feel many of the better episodes of the sadly cancelled HBO series CARNIVALE had. It didn’t help that the title of this chapter is called “Carnevil.” Promising stuff. - Ambush Bug

Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.


ARES #4
Marvel Comics

I guess if any miniseries deserves a quiet before the storm issue, it’s this one. So far, the action has been furious from page one of issue one. But this issue skids the momentum to a halt with its dependency on discourse and recapping. If this were any other series, I’d be super-pissed, but I’m willing to give this issue a little leeway due to the amazing writing, highly original action scenes, and fascinating new takes on old characters in the first three issues. With the way this story is going, I’m hoping for a powerful finish, but this was a wheel-screecher of an issue for me and had me wondering why this miniseries had to be five issues when this fourth issue could have been summed up in a few panels. This issue does have its moments of great writing, though:
And so the poem of war goes on and on through generations and time.
The echo of one battle fades to give life to another.
Such is the cycle of life and death, for men and gods alike.
For the love of father and son, the gods stand shoulder to shoulder.
After endless bloodshed, they have reached the walls of Mikabushi’s Hell!
Troy was for a woman. This is for a boy…
Nice. Can’t wait for the last issue of this miniseries. - Bug

X-MEN: DEADLY GENESIS #6 (of 6)
Marvel Comics

I’ve really enjoyed a lot of Brubaker’s work thus far in both the DCU and over at Marvel, but this series left me pretty “meh”. Banshee is dead, Professor Xavier comes off like a huge douche worthy only of pity and loathing, and a big new villain is introduced. Sometimes, though, the whole “missing or evil lover/sibling/friend” thing gets a bit old. The sudden introduction of a heretofore unknown third Summers brother feels too clichéd—it sounds like something a daytime soap writer would come up with. His suddenly appearing, being massively overpowered compared to his brothers (and the rest of the team) and then running off into space to take on an entire empire comes off as forced and excessive: a slow build to his decision would have made a lot more sense. Brubaker did introduce some interesting new mutant kids along the way, and seeing that Darwin will stick around is nice since he was the best of the bunch, but it’s not enough for me. I’ve never much cared about the Shi’ar anyway, and with the tepid response I had to the mini I doubt I’ll be sticking around to see what happens next. Sleazy

JONAH HEX #7
DC Comics

Luke Ross’ last issue and as it says on the first page in the credits, “We’ll miss ya!” Although, sometimes, Ross’ art was a bit distracting in his tendency to make Jonah Hex look exactly like Clint Eastwood, I have to admit that he provided some of the finest art I’ve seen in a Western comic in quite a while. His painterly take on the Old West made everything look as if it were taken straight from an old weathered “Wanted” poster. Jimmy Palmiotti and his writing partner Justin Grey continue to tell some great stand alone stories starring our favorite scarred bounty hunter. Some issues are stronger than others. This issue’s deus ex machina involving a bolt of lightning was a bit too convenient for my tastes, but this series is about cowboy toughness and it certainly delivers that in spades. And since I didn’t get to cover it last month, Jonah Hex delivers the best line I’ve read all year when a wicked nun gets blown away with a shotgun, Hex points down to her corpse, and says, “Put THAT in a cheap box.” Now that’s fucking tough and it’s the Hex I love reading. - Bug

SHE-HULK #7
Marvel Comics

Sexual harassment superhero style. That's what we have in this latest issue of SHE-HULK. Former Avenger and intergalactic playboy Starfox is on trial for the supposition of his using his pheromonal powers to lull unwilling Earth females into his bedroom. And while you might be figuring this is just another case of "superhero witch-hunt" the best part of it is that it's actually true. Starfox is a panty chaser and he's damn good at what he does. And we see some rather dramatic and hilarious results from this revelation as they turn an old friendship between Shulkie and her teammate into something pretty volatile. This is just another great use of almost forgotten C-level and lower characters by Dan Slott to tell a tale that has both laugh out loud moments and does well to build the character of our heroine. Well done as always. - Humphrey

FIRESTORM #25
DC Comics

Dickhead Batman lives! This issue offers proof positive that although Bats may have had a few nips and tucks here and there by DC editorial, making him more of a heroic…uhm…hero, he still can be characterized as a complete douchebag. Our fledgling Firestorm stumbles into another encounter with Killer Frost, this time with Mr. Freeze in tow to add to the carnage. Although the bumbling and fallible hero angle is a bit overused these days, I have been enjoying this series, but the lecture by Bat-Cranky in the end really left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I do have to say that artist Jamal Igle shows real promise in this issue. His figures have some of the most realistic, yet dynamic poses and posturings I’ve seen in a mainstream super hero comic. These types of details often go unnoticed, but his characters are grounded perfectly and give off the feeling of real stature, musculature, and weight. A nice looking book. - Bug

ANNIHILATION: SUPER-SKRULL #2
Marvel Comics

One of the stronger ANNIHILATION miniseries. Even though the presence of the Kid Skrull is a bit annoying, I understand why writer Javier Grillo-Marxuach is using the character: to offer a fresh and outside perspective to the story. And he does this well in this issue as the Super-Skrull scorches his way through the Negative Zone in search of his son. Along the way, Grillo-Marxuach utilizes the Super-Skrull’s various FF-inspired abilities in extremely inventive ways. You can tell the writer is having a blast writing the inventive fight scenes. I’m not too keen on this crossover as a whole, but this series is one of the best of the bunch. - Bug

CAPTAIN ATOM: ARMAGEDDON #8 (of 9)
WildStorm Comics

When Captain Atom bounced out of the DCU and landed in the WildStorm Universe, we were told it would be a good way to get a tour of the WSU from the perspective of somebody who had never seen it before. We were also told he posed a threat to the very existence of the WSU, but I assumed it was just going to be one of those traditional comic book stories where by the end of it everything worked out okay and things ended pretty much how they started. Turns out that’s not the case, though. In this issue we see Captain Atom take on the Authority single-handedly, and he manages to take out Apollo—no mean feat. We also see a longstanding WSU member get his frikkin’ face blasted off (looks pretty dead to me—even blew that hanky off his face), and we already know Captain Atom is gonna end up in the DCU but there’s no guarantee it’ll be a smooth transition. Not the flashiest series, but Will Pfeifer’s done some solid work here and thrown in some real surprises (Atom hittin’ it with The Engineer? Can I get a hellzyeah for liquid metal-on-metal action?). Worth a look-see this issue and next to see how Cap gets back home and what aftereffects it may have on the WSU, if you’re a fan of that kinda thing. Sleazy

THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #3
DC Comics

I HATE HIPPIES! Ugh, hippies. *pant*pant* Hippies…BAD! The playing of their bongos and the wearing of their baggy clothes and the eating of my cheetos and the reeking…the reeking…ohhh god, that god-awful reeking! Needless to say, we’re three issues into this miniseries and I already have a character I’d love to see perished…violently…involving an orifice and a sideways two-by-four. I mean, this series has some interesting turns. The revelation that the government is holding Captain Atom hostage as some form of nuclear battery is pretty cool. Father Time is obviously Uncle Sam undercover. It’s nice to see Monolith resurrected from his cancelled series. And the Human Bomb sequence was downright bad@$$ in this issue. But Hippy-Man AKA Firebrand has to be the most annoying revamped character ever. Who’s with me to start some kind of poll to get the guy written out of the series? Or better yet, howzabout a sit-in? What am I sayin’? That’s hippy-talk! I’ll just borrow Buzz’s shotgun and Blue Beetle the guy myself. - Bug

Readers Talkback
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  • May 18, 2006, 12:54 a.m. CST

    In the name of the All-Week Cog Smooches...

    by Psynapse

    I claim this "First!" (Bitches)

  • May 18, 2006, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Renee Montoya in 52...

    by kintar0

    is a sore thumb. Who gives a fuck about her? She's very Jessica Jones, i.e. worthless. What does she add, honestly? Ooh, tortured, alcoholic ex-cop. The rest of 52 was pretty good, and 52 Week Two was good, too, but the Grant Morrison parts are pretty obvious. I also enjoy the way each issue ends, with a panel showing disjointed images, like a television promo. I wonder if Greg Rucka knows he's the dumbest guy in the room? Also, I think you a$$holes ought to step up and review 52 on the day it comes out, rather than a week after. But hey, you should do that for all of your reviews, especially if you're going to post so late in the evening.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:04 a.m. CST

    as usual an @$$hole mouths off...

    by Captain Comet

    before he even knows what hes talking about. The 3rd Summers brother has been in existance since the early-mid 1990's under Chris Claremont's guiding hand. Its been hinted at being Gambit, and then it looked like we were going to have Adam X ("X-Treme") forced on us. Instead Brubaker went a whole new direction-- one that actually works without blowing up contunity or forcing us to accept a character thats just another gambit/wolverine/shatterstar knockoff. Its a shame that people with knowledge of the continuity/history of the books arent the ones reviewing them all the time. sorry for the rant, but thats just my 2 cents on the matter. most times im happy to stay quiet and enjoy the reviews, but this one kinda hit me the wrong way.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:19 a.m. CST

    Dear Kintar0....

    by Psynapse

    Considering the @$$holes are reviewing solely for the enjoyment that is the talkback your demand of same day reviews is a bit presumptuous. Or are you simply the type that confuses being called a jerkoff with being told to?

  • May 18, 2006, 1:20 a.m. CST

    way to go psynapse!

    by Darth Kal-El

  • May 18, 2006, 1:39 a.m. CST

    I really dig Booster Gold and Steel ...

    by dregmobile

    ... and to have them both in the same comic would appeal to me ... if I didn't have this awful taste in my mouth left over from IC 7. Unless someone like Black Condor pops up in one of these 52's, and I buy the issue because I'm strangely curious as hell to see where he and that Primal Force team went to, I'm never going to bother. Even better - CUT TO Bruce Wayne at Club Med or some such shit ...

  • May 18, 2006, 1:45 a.m. CST

    Sorry, that wasn't a demand...

    by kintar0

    only a suggestion and an expression of preference. It's a shame your first reaction is to try to insult anyone who might have a different opinion about something, but whatev. Your last sentence, containing said insult, didn't even make sense. What exactly am I presuming when I write that I think they should review comics closer to the day they come out and not a week later? What, that they don't have jobs, families, responsibilities, other interests? I have all of the above, in spades, and I'm pretty sure I could do what any @$$hole does. Chud.com does it all the time. Today, after work, I've had time to read 52 #2, Superman/Batman #25, Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder #4, Batman: Year 100 #4, Moon Knight #2, X-Men #186, and Shadowpact #1 and I could go into what I thought about each with ease. Is there some unwritten rule where you can only write about week old comics here? I understand that the @$$holes are reviewers and not critics, but wouldn't that make their "jobs" easier, rather than harder? I really only suggested the "live" 52 review in spirit of the real-timey aspect of the book. You know, see if the @$$es can sustain a review dialogue on a weekly basis, compared to how well DC will be able to maintain a weekly, 52-issue real-timey narrative. I know that these guys aren't going to start reviewing comics on release day. I wasn't trying to question or criticize your existence. Sorry, I'm not a Cog or whatever and I don't know the secret handshake.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:53 a.m. CST

    And I have a question about IC #7...

    by kintar0

    What's the deal with the big splash page near the end with all the heroes? Are those the now-current version of characters or what? In other words, what's up with the hooded Marvel family member with lightening eyes, Captian Marvel, Jr. in Captain Marvel's uniform, the black and red Batwoman with red hair, the Napoleonic Martian Manhunter, and the Ultimate Uncle Sam?

  • May 18, 2006, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Sorry, Captain Comet...

    by SleazyG.

    ...but we're gonna hafta agree to disagree. See, I don't care if people thought the third brother was Gambit or Adam X or Cable when he first showed up or anybody else (then again, I don't really give a shit about anyting Claremont or Byrne related). The point I was making was that in one little story arc we had him finally appear, be massively overpowered, get Xavier turned into a dick yet again, lost Banshee, and had the new guy blast off looking to fuck with the Shi'ar. It felt rushed and forced and unnatural, and a little time to develop the conflicts and build thing up a little woulda made a difference. I mean, think about it: his existence has been hinted at for a dozen years, but it all blows up in the space of a coupla hours of story? I just think it needed room to breathe and develop organically.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Black Condor's dead, dregmobile...

    by SleazyG.

    ...but there's a new one coming in the pages of FREEDOM FIGHTERS, along with the new Ray and Phantom Lady and Human Bomb and whatnot.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:51 a.m. CST

    You live a blessed live, kintar0.

    by SleazyG.

    Congrats. You're a lucky man. Us? We're not. We have to fit this stuff in around our schedules, and if that doesn't always work for somebody else, well boo hoo. And I'll tell ya another thing: five years now we got wiseacres who show up and tell us "I could do this". And ya know what? Even as recently as a coupla months ago, they never do. Anybody else remember that assclown who was gonna have three reviews done by the end of the weekend to rub our noses in it, and then we never heard from him again? Yeah, that's cuz this is harder than it looks. I see where you're coming from on 52, don't get me wrong--but if somebody here actually cares enough to cover it every week, then by god we'll have weekly coverage--it just won't be the same week. Or maybe it'll get covered once every few months. It'll kinda depend on how we feel at the time, cuz this ain't a job, it's a hobby.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:02 a.m. CST

    Well, if I'd have known it was such a touchy subject...

    by kintar0

    I'd have never brought it up. Like I said, I don't even know what a Cog is. And hey, I even fully acknowledged that this isn't your job. I usually stop reading the tb right around when Thalya starts talking about her fan fiction or when the in-jokes get too thick. I get it that this is mostly for the talkback. Again, sorry if I stepped on any emotional toes. Bad suggestion, I take it back. I can't believe I get shit for this and not calling a Bendis-created character worthless.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:34 a.m. CST

    IC #7 Splash page

    by Vincent Gecko

    Just conjecture: Hooded Marvel Family Member = Black Adam, maybe now White Adam? Answers in 52. CMJ takes drops the Junior and Assumes the Captain Marvel Mantle, possibly explained in Shadowpact. The Black and Red Batwoman is the most interesting, I'm hoping it's Barbara "former miss Oracle" Gordon Grayson (though likely not really Grayson). Haven't spotted Babs in any of they OYL's that I can recall. I think Martian Manhunter's costume change will be explained in 7 Soldiers. Someone else posted there's going to be whole bunch new Freedom Fighters introduced, that explains "new" Uncle Sam, personally I think it's the same dude. No one kills Uncle Sam.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:41 a.m. CST

    I don't think that's Black Adam...

    by kintar0

    because he's on the other page. I also notice that Mr. Miracle isn't there but all the other Seven Soldiers are.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:44 a.m. CST

    about that last post...

    by Vincent Gecko

    Yeah, I'm an idiot, actually Batwoman I think is Kathy Kane, had an Oracle brainfart in OYL.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:50 a.m. CST

    IC #7 Splash page con't

    by Vincent Gecko

    Yeah, good call on Black Adam, I'm an idiot and blind. It's interesting that White Adam and Black Adam are posed exactly the same. Could be Barry Batson, he's got the only Marvel Family with the familiar buttons down the right side of the front of the costume, didn't they do away with that for while in favor in late 80s-early 90s? Any remember what or if there was any explanation in that change?

  • May 18, 2006, 4:05 a.m. CST

    It's also weird that so many villans appear as well.

    by kintar0

    I notice Catman, new school OMAC, Black Adam, Catwoman, Boomerang, Jr. and even Lobo. Superman calls these dudes "good hands?"

  • May 18, 2006, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Various DC things.

    by Bahimiron

    First of all, no, Father Time is not Uncle Sam in disguise. I hope you were being humorous when you said that, guy. Father Time is the leader of SHADE, who the real Freedom Fighters will be going up against in the upcoming series. --- As for the hooded Captain Marvel, I'm pretty sure that that's regular Captain Marvel, having taken Shazam's place in the Rock of Eternity. --- kintar0, you might want to check the pages of 52, Catwoman and Outsiders to see that several of those 'bad hands' you mentioned are relatively heroic. --- Over on Newsarama, Dan Didio said a while back that the Martian Manhunter was due for a new costume. That the new costume actually manages to be uglier than the old one is just a sad thing we'll have to live with. --- I'm enjoying Armageddon, but is it really portraying the denizens of the Wildstorm universe accurately? I haven't read Authority since Millar's first run ended, I haven't read WildCATS since the second issue with the hideous chromed out hologram cover and I've never read Majestic. Is everyone in the WSU really this much of a complete asshole? Cos in Armageddon, the Authority and the WildCATS are a bunch of bloodthirsty fucks.

  • May 18, 2006, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Booster's suit

    by kuryakin

    First thing I thought was "Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses" Ah yes, Mystery Men is always a good thing to keep in mind when reading comics that are slowly disappearing up their own behinds. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed 52 but I just found Infinite Crisis to be increasingly incomprehensible. Seriously, number seven was just a big mess. Can't we just have superhero stories where people are super and heroic? For Christ's sake, you don't need an 'event' to cut all the bullshit, you just need good writing. Look at Dan Slott. That's how you do it my friends. But like I said I liked 52, particularly Booster flipping out like the drunk uncle at a funeral when the Big Three didn't show. And I'm glad to see Renee Montoya back - they did seem to mould her character in Gotham Central to be like the lesbian cop on The Wire but nothing wrong with that. I'm looking forward to seeing how her story unfolds over the year

  • May 18, 2006, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Soap opera?

    by Mirrorball Man

    "It sounds like something a daytime soap writer would come up with" --- An X-Men plot that sounds like a soap opera plot? Hmmm... I think you're on the verge of a major epiphany here.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST

    batdyke

    by amherst90jl

    Montoya's claim to fame in the new DCU is being the "gay character as a lead in her own series!". Too bad Cassy Cain is a much better character, though; but unfortunately for her, straight. And since we now live in the times when we need to suck up to the gay people and throw the token homo into everywhere (even bad remakes of Poseidon), hence we have montoya as Batwoman.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Indies and atheist

    by dino_hardbody

    OK, I gotta say, wtf is up with all these Indy reviews. Its not like I will only buy the big two or whatever, but why are you guys reviewing boatloads of comics I have never even seen/heard of before? My comic shoppe doesn't have any of these titles. I just can't find 'em anywhere (give or take a few books) Whatever happened to good 'ol tights 'n fights comics? Maybe its just me but this batch of reviews blow. ALSO!! Whatever happened to the Atheist? Loved it now I cannot for the life of me find issue #3.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Hooded Marvel

    by dino_hardbody

    Dude, its Captain Marvel who is now taking over Shazam's place in that floating tower thing (forgot name). Black Adam is still Black Adam, Capt. Marvel Jr is now Capt. Marvel and Mary Marvel is a hardcore porn star with Kobi Tai as her kung fue sidekick. or so I hope.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:18 a.m. CST

    The Bottom Line Is....

    by cookylamoo

    When you come down to it, DC really only has about six bankable heroes, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash, and Green Arrow. 60 percent of the rest of DC's output comes from spinning off and expanding on these characters. You can dress up heroes like Booster Gold and the Question but you really can't take them anywhere.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Bahimiron

    by The Heathen

    still waiting on those reviews my man. *** Good looking out, Psy! *** Kal-El, I checked out the pic of Rena and there IS a WW vibe going on. *** Lady C., thanks for the hilarity. Sam Jackson as Principal Firebush is classic. *** It's funny about Joe Bennett. I liked his work in 52, didn't love it, but when I saw it in Infinite Crisis, it was just so sub standard compared to Jiminez and Perez, but I liked Bennett's work in 52. Hmm. *** Have a good day people. Gotta take an off day with the Mrs. : )

  • May 18, 2006, 10:19 a.m. CST

    That's not Booster Gold

    by Squashua

    Booster I arrives from the future with Skeets. Booster I gets corporate sponsorship. Booster I Joins JLI and meets Beetle II. TIME PASSES Booster I and Beetle II discovered that Brother Eye has aspects taken from Skeets I (future tech) who has been missing for months. Beetle II is murdered. Booster I leaves to go back to the future. ... Booster II arrives from the future with Skeets II.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:20 a.m. CST

    ANNIHILATION RULES !!

    by TheAnomalist

    ...IMHO It is alot better than the over-long, convoluted Infinite Crap going on at DC- All the Annihilation books read like a great cosmic sci-fi story from the old Heavy Metal mags or Jim Starlin's run at Marvel. I never liked the Nova Corps, Drax, or the Super Skrull- but this series has really made them shine. The writing is tight and clever and the art is amazingly detailed and cinematic. The only flaw is the Neil Gaimen-ized version of Death. And just what is Thanos up too? Can't wait to find out....

  • May 18, 2006, 10:21 a.m. CST

    cooky

    by The Heathen

    take them anywhere with just sales or as characters? I tend to like he both of them, especially after their JLU appearances.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:26 a.m. CST

    What's up with all the indies?

    by Ambush Bug

    I'll tell you what's up with all the indies. Maybe it's just that indies are a bit more interesting these days. Maybe it's just that indies don't require the cross-referencing of fifty-two books. Maybe it's because there's some really interesting stuff out there that you may not have heard of, but is worth checking out. If your retailer isn't carrying some of the books above, then ask them to, it's not like we don't provide the links to the publishers of these off the beaten path books in the reviews and honestly, they aren't that obscure anyway. Some could almost be classified as mainstream. Sure, this was a heavy indie week, more so than usual, but it doesn't hurt to diversify. Take it from me. I still am a cape and cowl type of reader, but more and more, I'm finding it harder to write something about the Big Two's books. And I'm learning that there's some really interesting stuff out there outside of the Big Two. More and more, it's just the same old thing over and over with the capes circuit. And if you think it gets tiring reading it, try writing it. We'll still cover the popular stuff, but nothing's wrong with a indie-centric column. Although you probably won't find very many of the Holes sittin' in a coffee shop with a beret and a clove cigarette moping about the weight of life.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:54 a.m. CST

    She-Hulk slept with Starfox back in an

    by superninja

    old issue of Avengers. I remember reading it as a kid and being somewhat shocked because it was so casual. In fact, I think that's what cemented the impression going foward that Jen was a good-time girl.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Rucka turned Montoya into one angry broad.

    by superninja

  • May 18, 2006, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Rucka turned Montoya into one angry broad.

    by superninja

  • May 18, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Hey, Bug. Didn't it seem like that every comic book

    by superninja

    had an EVIL hippie villain back in the day? I guess it's only fair we have one good hippie.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Ugh. Sorry about the double post. Accident.

    by superninja

  • May 18, 2006, 11:08 a.m. CST

    But there were hippie heroes, to, Superninja.

    by SleazyG.

    Remember Prez over at DC? Totally a hippie teenager who, like, I dunno, had the ability to flip his head back and dispense candy outta his neck or some shit. Feh. Hippies.

  • May 18, 2006, 11:13 a.m. CST

    You're a douchebag, amherst.

    by SleazyG.

    Know what I'm sick of? Token tall, fit white male pretty boy superheroes. If you don't like diversity, go join the South Dakota militia or some shit. I've actually lost count of the number of "token" gay and lesbian classmates and coworkers I've had--just like I've lost track of all the bigoted fuckwits I don't have the time for.

  • May 18, 2006, 11:56 a.m. CST

    It's 'cause we usually don't get comics in advance..

    by superhero

    that's why we don't review 'em early or on drop day. At least I usually don't. See we're not tied into or ass kissing comic companies for free books like a lot of other "reviewers" are out there. If we hate something we hate it. If we love it we love it. Nothing's diluted here. It's pure @$$holiness all around and I can't can't think of anything better than pure @$$holiness. Especially for all those fit male white token gay superheroes that are invading all of our comic books these days! Dear lord, you'd think that the DC and Marvel Universe had turned into San Francisco during the week of the Gay Pride parade! Chiil out with that gay hatin' stuff! Love is love and all that...

  • May 18, 2006, 12:21 p.m. CST

    When I said bankable I mean as money makers.

    by cookylamoo

    Booster and Question are both interestig characters, but they're not money makers. DC takes characters, like Doctor Fate for example and spends time "improving them". Then they send them out in a six issue mini or something which tanks, then they go back and "improve" the character again. It's like if twinkie sales were down and they just kept changing the filling hoping to find one that people will like. But in the end, you know, it's a twinkie.

  • May 18, 2006, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Squashua

    by kuryakin

    Booster Gold I went back and then Booster Gold II showed up and.... oh man it feels like I'm trying to unravel the plot of Primer again. All I want is to see people get superpunched in the face!

  • May 18, 2006, 1 p.m. CST

    SleazyG

    by Captain Comet

    I'm more than willing to accept criticism about how Prof X is portrayed these days-- Marvel certainly is working hard to dispel the whole "Saint Xavier" image, thats for sure. But you cant say a character a dozen years in the hinting is out of the blue. Fault Claremont if you want to for his lack of ability to develop plot threads in an adequate time (Comcast anyone??) but dont go after Brubaker for finally doing something with the idea. As for Vulcan being overpowered sure he seemed pretty souped up, but the Prof said from day 1 that he was a very powerful energy manipulator-- and we've seen what his type can do before, with Mikhael Rasputin standing as the prime example of that. I'd have to get the rest of the series out, but I also thought it was somewhat implied that Vulcan might have been made stronger by not being present for the M-Day thing, AND having Darwin merged with himself AND having been altered somehow by Krakoa itself when they were being launched into space. I'd think the next time we see him, he will be depowered somewhat now that Darwin is no longer merged with him. and how long would you want to give this story arc? after seeing plotlines be introduced and not developed over the course of years, its kinda nice to have something move right along for once. on another note its nice to have a civilized conversation with someone about this stuff-- we may disagree, but i at least see your point.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Booster Gold

    by Squashua

    Booster Gold originally appeared around the time of the original Crisis. He's become a hugely public figure. And he's from the future. He hasn't just stepped on the butterfly, he's also killed every pre-mammal. If it wasn't for Skeets, there would never have been a Brother I, and that fact is noted in Countdown. But here's the thing; Booster in 52 (Booster II) is acting like he's new to all this; he's taking on the role that his prior incarnation left behind. After "Countdown to Infinite Crisis", Booster Gold (Booster Gold I) went back to the future to get resources, but the one that appears in Infinite Crisis (Booster Gold II) is a changed man. He's different. And he's got an all-new Skeets. I think that Booster Gold I came down and had his adventures, then left for the future and was promptly erased. Booster Gold II is the same guy, but from a different future and he comes down and takes over the role his predecessor left.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:23 p.m. CST

    At first I thought it was the same Booster...

    by SleazyG.

    ...and that the reason Skeets keeps getting things wrong is that it was the old Earth-1 Booster coming back to the post-Crisis Earth. After reading what you guys are saying, though, you're right: this isn't the angry, determined, more mature Booster who went home after Ted Kord bit it. This is more like the old Booster, confused by the differences in the new post-Crisis Earth. We should have a better idea in a few weeks, I reckon, but for now there's plenty of room for speculation. And here's some speculation for ya: I get the feeling this here Booster isn't gonna make it out alive, or if he does, he'll be a deeply changed man.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:24 p.m. CST

    So does this mean...

    by Psynapse

    That Homer and I need to have a deathmatch to decide which of us is the 'token' gay talkbacker?? Wotta maroon.......

  • May 18, 2006, 1:30 p.m. CST

    What da frig?

    by Ambush Bug

    What's all of this talk about two Boosters? Could it possibly be that this is a fictional character who was written in one way by one writer and now written differently by another? Booster has always been self-serving, self-centered. Hell, he's one of the ones that got the JLI into most of the trouble they were in and was the main cause of the central problem in I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE. I'm sure the anger and grief shown in COUNTDOWN was genuine for the character, but this doesn't mean that because the guy has a smile on his face in this issue that means that he's a character from an alternate earth. Methinks you guys are thinking about this too much.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Don't get me wrong, Captain Comet...

    by SleazyG.

    ...I don't think there's anything wrong with Brubaker finally doing something with one of Claremont's six bajillion hanging plot threads. I just felt like this was something that needed more time to gestate. It feels like a dozen years of nothing, and then BAM! everything gets crammed in all at once. I'm not advocating dragging everything out, but a mini to introduce the guy and then a six-issue arc to build a little would have been a good idea. This is especially true in light of the fact that some people who read the regular X-Books won't have picked up this mini. Suddenly Brubaker is gonna come on board one of the flagship titles and drag all the readers into space to track down some guy they've never heard of who has a really convoluted backstory. A little time to develop him and get the readers who missed the mini caught up would have given the situation a little more depth and made sure everybody was on the same page. Hell, maybe everybody's gonna be cool with it this way, I dunno--I'm just sayin' what woulda worked better for me.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:35 p.m. CST

    All of this talk about token homosexuality...

    by Ambush Bug

    in comics has me wondering when Marvel is going to jump on the transgender bandwagon. I mean, they already have a title for the comic...MARVEL TWO IN ONE.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:40 p.m. CST

    You're wrong, Bug.

    by SleazyG.

    The Booster that went home to the future after Ted Kord's death was an angry, beaten man who wanted to find a way to avenge Kord's death. The Booster who showed up here isn't just happy-go-lucky; he's actually a bigger sellout than even the original Booster. That wasn't who Booster was any more, just as Ted Kord wasn't a tubby piece of comic relief. Both characters had grown and changed significantly. Booster acting differently is clearly a result of the ripples from the Crisis, and the fact that Skeets keeps getting things wrong and Booster doesn't know why is a near-guarantee that it's because he didn't end up in the same timeline he started in. It'll take a few weeks to get the whole picture, but I got a shot of Maker's and a Newcastle says I'm closer to what's going on than you are.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Ambush Bug

    by nofate

    You say that you're doing more indie reviews than mainstream because they're more interesting and less convulted? Then stop doing the reviews altogether and just call it AICN Indie Jones Weekly Reviews. Listen, like it or not, Marvel and DC got the stranglehold on the industry and unless they both decide "fuck it, all we're doing now is licensing and screw the comics" it will remain so. There's nothing wrong about liking a more intimate read from an indie work than buying dozens of comics that will get you a story that could have been told in a six-issue mini, but when you start biting the hand that feeds (ie, the reason you guys have a column) then just give up altogether.

  • May 18, 2006, 1:44 p.m. CST

    blow me, sleazy

    by amherst90jl

    It's not that I'm against diversity. If I'm introduced to an original character who happens to be gay, fine. Am I gonna lose a bit of my lunch if Alan Moore has a couple of old guys making out, or a young boy sidekick planting one on the lips of his passed-out mentor? Damn straight I am. But I realize not everything is written for me, so c'est la vie either way. What pisses me off is when an established character, like say Montoya who once had a fling with Two-face, of all people, all of a sudden become gay, like it's getting cancer or arthritis. This shit started on TV, with that crippled doctor from ER and Willow on Buffy. Established characters with track records of heterosexual relationships, and all of a sudden somone in a suit decides they need to appeal to a certain minority, and just like that a character decides they're batting for the other team (at least in Willow's case, after years of being around Buffy and Cordelia, she's going to flip over some pudgy Wiccan? please). Now, I didn't major in homosexual studies at Gay U. as it sounds like you did, so please tell me: is that how it happens? Do people in their 20s (or older), after years of being hetero, just become gay? And I'm not talking about the skanks you see at the clubs who grind on and feel up their girlfriends because it looks cool when Paris does it on MTV, I'm talking about a complete life-changing decision?

  • May 18, 2006, 1:54 p.m. CST

    You're a fuckin' moron, Amherst.

    by SleazyG.

    Yeah, actually, that happens all the time. Try talkin' to a real-life ho-mo-sexual sometime and you'll find out they're not all the same. Some know they're gay by the time they're six, some figure it out in their 40's or 50's, and some--and this will blow your mind--fall in love with a person because of who they are, not what's in their pants. They're sometimes just as surprised as everybody else, but if it happens, so be it. The "crippled doctor", as you called her, was completely confused and conflicted when she found she had feelings for another woman--a very common experience for adults who suddenly find themselves drawn to a previously non-preferred gender. It was actually pretty true to life in a lot of ways. And the Willow thing? Jesus, are you thick. The fucking *creator* of the character decided she was gay, something he'd actually been hinting at for years. It wasn't done to throw in a "token" character to appease the Gay Mafia, it was done because that's where the creator felt the character would go. And I'll tellya right here and now, if making out with Two-Face doesn't turn a chick gay, there's probably something wrong with her.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:01 p.m. CST

    More thoughts on diversity...

    by amherst90jl

    The comic universe absolutely needs more minorities. What would be nice to see is the big 2 having enough confidence in a minority hero that they can creat a brand-new identity for them and not have them step into a hand-me-down costume. John Stewart, the new Firestorm, Mr. Terrific, Blue Beetle, Atom, Starboy, etc. - it's like DC is saying "hey, we'll give you diverse heroes, but do you really think we'll gamble and create new ones?" Now, I'm not saying that they don't work as they exist - John Stewart, Mr. Terrific, and the new Firestorm are particularly great characters, as was War Machine, and even at times, Black Goliath - but it would be refreshing to see minority heroes that borrowing someone else's name.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:01 p.m. CST

    There's no hand to bite, nofate.

    by SleazyG.

    What, you think Marvel and DC pay our salaries? Gimme a fuckin' break. You got any idea how many of today's top creators come from small press or indie publishers? A metric shit-ton. Any idea how many creators who've worked at the Big Two do indie books as well in today's market? A whole crapload, including Keith Giffen and Phil Hester and Greg Rucka and Mike Mignola and Brian K. Vaughan and a whole lot more. We explain this week after week to thick bastard after thick bastard, but here it is again: WE REVIEW WHATEVER WE FUCKING WELL WANT. We read what we want, we like what we like, we hate what we hate, and then we talk about it. If you think I'm gonna keep reviewing Bendis shitfest after Strazcynski clusterfuck just because it sells a lot of copies, you're high. Marvel doesn't pay me enough for that kinda rimjob, and DC doesn't pay me enough to take a tire iron to Marvel books, and visa versa. We do this cuz we like it, and we talk about what we want, and that's pretty much that. You think you can cover all the books that "matter" to everybody who's gonna read what you say online? Good luck, buddy--enjoy giving yourself a stroke.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:06 p.m. CST

    The problem with minority superheroes:

    by SleazyG.

    Nobody buys their books. If DC or Marvel launches a new minority character the marketplace ignores 'em, just like they ignored the entire Milestone Universe in the mid-90's. DC also tried that with an Annual event to introduce more global players in the late 90's or early 00's, to no better results. That's why creators have to use old names with new personalities as an end-run. That's why when Morrison reconceptualized so many of the DC characters we're going to be introduced to over the next year he mixed up their ethnicities in an attempt to get a more realistic blend. Here's something, though: I just named three major pushes towards ethnic diversity in the DCU in the last dozen years. Anybody know what Marvel has done, other than Arana? Not being a dick here--I just honestly can't remember any major pushes in that direction, unless I'm missing something. And no, Black Punisher doesn't count, since it was still Frank Castle and only lasted one story arc...

  • May 18, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Re: Superhero Divesity - I have 1 question...

    by Vincent Gecko

    What's a nubian?

  • May 18, 2006, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Do people in their 20s (or older), after years of being

    by Homer Sexual

    What a jerk amherst is, I don't know why I bother to respond, but I suppose if someone is so ignorant not to know that the answer to his question is "yes, but we don't 'become' gay, we just realize something we didn't know/acknowledge before. In my case, in my 30s. In my ex-bf's case, he has 4 kids. Sadly, I do think Amherst has a tiny point about recasting established characters with minorities. Blue Beetle as a latino is fine, but the book is kind of bland and maybe cancelled. Also, I think I agree with Kintar0 because, much as I look forward to the new column every wed. or thurs., I'd rather discuss 52 #2 right now than #1, etc. Finally, I noticed Miracle wasn't in that splash but then he showed up in 52, so I have a sad, horrible feeling that Zatanna is going to die in 7 Soldiers #1 (whenever it finally comes out, like 2 months late) and the straight-haired sidekick is going to replace her. So we see someone who looks like Zatanna (with straighter hair) who never talks or does anything to give it away. noooo....not Zatanna! Oh well, 7 Soldiers still the best comic crossover story on the market.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:33 p.m. CST

    minority marvel pushes...

    by blackthought

    fing fang foom?

  • May 18, 2006, 2:34 p.m. CST

    I liked the Black Punisher storyarc...

    by Ambush Bug

    If I were casting it on the Casting Couch, I'd cast C. Thomas Howell as Frank, with Microchip acting as the snipey sidekick played by Ayre Gross. And who wouldn't want Frank to have a love interest in this arc...howzabout Rae Dong Chong! We could have Frank take too many tanning pills and get into kooky hijinks about racism. Then in the end, Frank learns the valuable lesson that we're all pink in the middle. That'd be a great flick...oh wait, they already made that one.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:41 p.m. CST

    "Bad" guys

    by kintar0

    When I posted about the villans on the splash page in IC #7, I thought about adding a line about how I was well aware of some of these characters' shifting alignments. How does Catwoman's unbrainwashed status affect her motivations? Catman is definitely a villan. Is there one good OMAC now? I get that Black Adam is sometimes helpful, but since when does anyone trust him? Lobo, same deal. And Boomerang, Jr. is a good guy? Please explain. And do we have any evidence that the hooded Marvel is Captain Marvel/Billy Batson or that Renee Montoya is going to become Batwoman? Aside from speculation?

  • May 18, 2006, 2:43 p.m. CST

    White Tiger was black for about a week

    by rev_skarekroe

    Then I guess someone decided they needed a different White Tiger and made that character go by his regular name. There was an old black guy in Alpha Flight for a little while. Um... Luke Cage isn't from the last dozen years, but he's been getting a hell of a push by Bendis lately. Morrison's New X-Men had the new Angel and Dust and Xorn (of course, he was really Magneto. YES HE WAS! SHUT UP!).

  • May 18, 2006, 2:45 p.m. CST

    I think Catman is leaning toward a kind of neutrality

    by rev_skarekroe

    In a mercenary sort of way.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one that thinks

    by Vincent Gecko

    a Batwoman being less experienced and weaker character than a Batgirl is a silly idea? Just like Dick should be wiping the floor with Todd over in Nightwing no contest.

  • May 18, 2006, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Seven Soldiers in 52

    by kintar0

    yeah, you're right, Mr. Miracle/Shilo IS in 52. But Shining Knight is the sole missing member this time, (in 52.) I don't think 52 or Infinite Crisis is any indication of who will die.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Shigeru has NOT drowned!

    by Shigeru

    It's true! You can all stop worrying! ...................

  • May 18, 2006, 3:09 p.m. CST

    I don't understand why people don't understand...

    by Ambush Bug

    The splash page wasn't supposed to be taken so literally. It was meant to be a look into what will happen in the upcoming months, over the lost year, and what's coming in the future of the DCU. Those trying to figure the logistics about how Catman is flying and whatnot completely missed the point. This page was to show the reader a taste of the changes to come. Questions about THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS, SHAZAM, ATOM, and OMAC will be answered...in their own new series which will be coming out after the BRAVE NEW WORLD one shot. Or don't any of you guys read the ads in DC comics. Hell, I don't even read Previews and I picked that one up pretty quick. *********** And Bahimiron, all arrows point to Father Time being Uncle Sam in BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN. There are clues galore...goatee, govt connections and the biggest of all, at the end of this issue when Father Time says that it's time to take action, he clenches his fist and rolls up his sleeve. A classic Uncle Sam move. A red herring? Possibly, but I doubt it with the similarly dressed Uncle Sam prominently displayed in the bottom right corner of the IC7 splash page sporting the same goatee and trenchcoat as Time.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:14 p.m. CST

    OK, wrong anology Sleazy but...

    by nofate

    your response shows you agree with me. The fact that you'll take the time out of your busy schedule *snicker* to rant about a comic or company you don't care for in the first place seems kinda pointless. You have the forum, use it to your heart's content. Oh and by the way, yes I do enjoy an occasional stroke. OK, everyday! (mmm, psynapse's mom)

  • May 18, 2006, 3:17 p.m. CST

    I don't know, I still think it's the same Booster

    by Ambush Bug

    My memory doesn't serve me too well as far as how COUNTDOWN/OMAC PROJECT ended. I forgot that Booster went off to the future. Maybe you guys are onto something. Or maybe it's like I said, that two writers are writing the character differently. Who knows? I have trouble remembering what I ate this morning with this ADHD thing I got going on, so you might be onto-oh look! A bird!

  • May 18, 2006, 3:23 p.m. CST

    So, since the questions will be answered sometime...

    by kintar0

    in the next year, we shouldn't ask them now or make any kind of speculation? C'mon, Bug. Was someone in the last talkback wondering how it is that Catman is flying? Because, sure, dumb question. I think that the other questions, like who is that Batgirl/woman, and what's up with the hooded Marvel, etc, are pretty valid and interesting, at least from a discussion standpoint.

  • May 18, 2006, 3:36 p.m. CST

    What's a "Cog?"

    by Son of Batman

    And what's the secret hand shake?

  • May 18, 2006, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Agreed, kintar0

    by Ambush Bug

    I'm not saying that discussions regarding who's going to be who (as in Batwoman's case, and if it is going to be Montoya, I'm going to be disappointed, there really doesn't need to be a Batwoman in my opinion) isn't good for debate and perfect fodder for discussion in the TBs. But yes, last week or the week before someone was commenting on how all of those heroes got to be in the same place at the same time and how so-and-so was flying. Literal questions about what was meant to be an abstract representation of the different shades of heroism that will be represented over the next year. It was one of those moments where I realized that the trend of over-explaining stuff may be needed for some of the more literal minded of readers. As for the debates: My thoughts on hooded Marvel is that the trio is still represented in the top corner with Billy assuming the Wizard role, since he's trapped in the Rock, and wearing the white hood, while Freddy and Mary assuming more powerful roles as Marvels. I don't have the page in front of me, but I too was disappointed with Martian Manhunter's costume and thought that the Freedom Fighter's redux was unneeded and downright ugly (how do you make Phantom Girl-one of DC's hottest heroines-look like a harpy?!? and what's with the Liefeldian Dollman?), except for Human Bomb who looks damn cool and is most probably Damage under that rad suit.

  • May 18, 2006, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Damn, Sleazy First On Biting Hand That Feeds...

    by Buzz Maverik

    See, if I respond, it'll look like a gang up but since a gang up has always been an effective way of winning for me, I'll do it anyway...Dude, we're @$$holes. If Marvel and DC DID feed us, we wouldn't just bite their hand, we'd chew the fucker clean off, go for the other one and attack the ankles too, just so Marvel and DC couldn't get caught in any traps. We also shit where we eat. What I'd like to see is the guys who are pissed about too many indie reviews team up with the guys who are pissed about too many mainstream superhero reviews. In our modern, wussy society, they'd probably get a class action lawsuit going instead of laying siege to the @$$hole clubhouse. We haven't had a good siege in a long time. Remember when a horde of outraged Bendii showed up? Nice guys. We keep in touch.

  • May 18, 2006, 4:38 p.m. CST

    What Is A Cog? by R. Buzzregarde Maverik

    by Buzz Maverik

    If you're reading this pamphlet, you are concerned about Cogs. Well you should be. Cognus Smootcherii is a controversial and powerful movement in the graphic narrative community. Such members include Tom Cruise, Vice President Dick Cheney, Hilary Rodham Clinton and the guy who got Katie Holmes pregnant. Shrouded in secrecy and indifference, the Cogs have infiltrated the highest stratus of society. Often, at a high echelon political or entertainment industry event, you'll hear a well coiffed power broker say, "Fetch my car, boy, and there's a dollar in it for you. There's a good lad." Chances are, he's talking to a Cog. Don't think the Cogs have that much impact? Why do you think all comic books are crossover events now? Cogs really like crossover events. Crossover events and vodka. Reality shows? A cog plot. These are dangerous, depraved folks, folks. Cogs have ties to organized crime, the intelligence community, the tobbaco lobby and the fast food industry. If you've watched it, heard it, read it...chance are the Cogs were involved. Do the Cogs practice self-flagellation? Well, they don't know what flagellation means but they're a-ok with the self part. Are the Cogs involved with Satan? They deny anything romantic but say they are close friends. Will the Cogs be guarding US borders? Yes, they are determined to keep those fuckin' Canadians out. Do the Cogs have a secret handshake? Yes, it's not pretty and there are no hands involved. What should you do if you encounter a Cog? Immediately send $1000, a case of Herradura Tequila, a Purdy shotgun and a box of Cuban cigars to Buzz Maverik c/o AICN Comics.

  • May 18, 2006, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Am I to understand ...

    by dregmobile

    Jason Todd is currently appearing in the Nightwing title? Hanging out in Bludhaven? I'm currently reading a backlog of Batman's - where Todd and Black Mask and Joker go toe to toe. Not only is it all extremely boring, but there's no one really putting up their hand explaining how the fuck Todd came back from the grave. I have two issues to read to bring me up to date, but now I read here that he and Grayson are duking it out in Bludhaven? Fuck. So has it since been explained how Todd came back???

  • May 18, 2006, 4:49 p.m. CST

    I Majored In Homosexual Studies At Gay U...

    by Buzz Maverik

    Boy, was I lonely. You guys think you had a hard time getting chicks at your college! Of course, when I went to clubs off campus, I was swarmed with townie chicks wanting to convert me. They got wise late in my junior year. I think one of 'em spotted me going into the local comic shop....

  • May 18, 2006, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Dreg, Todd's return...

    by SleazyG.

    ...was covered in half-assed style by Judd Winick in BATMAN #650 right before Crisis kicked off a few months back. Prepare to be underwhelmed. And yeah, right now he's sucking over in the sucky NIGHTWING by Bruce Sucky Jones, where Todd is going around in a costume just like Dick's only he's shooting dudes in the head and Dick's not.

  • May 18, 2006, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Dick snot?!?!?

    by Ambush Bug

  • May 18, 2006, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I said it.

    by SleazyG.

    Whutchoo gonna do?

  • May 18, 2006, 5:31 p.m. CST

    I Remember Deadman Talking To Jason Todd...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...in one of his relaunches a couple of years ago. Deadman also talked to other CRISIS casualty Barry Allen. The Todd character had some perspective and sympathy for Batman, his mother, people he could have had grudges against. What I hate about the Return O' Todd is that it's a straight off the message board idea. I mean, if you're writing comics, you should be the one generating ideas, you should be one step ahead of, uh, slobs like us. Sure, the dumber fans want to see their own alleged thoughts reflected back at them but most of us want to be surprised. Gee, a guy reads a thousand theories that Jason Todd was Hush so he brings Jason Todd back. What's next? Dick Grayson is the Joker. 5...4...3...2.oh,just counting down until somebody starts telling me the ridiculous comic book explanation for all this, which I never read. I see that, I just see the words RIDICULOUS COMIC BOOK EXPLANATION. Third Summers brother. I mean, they pulled the second one outta nowhere but that was forever ago...

  • May 18, 2006, 5:38 p.m. CST

    How Comic Book Characters Come Back To Life...

    by Buzz Maverik

    Do we really need explanations any more? Isn't it sort of like:"Clint, what are you doing here?" "Oh, I came back from the dead last night. Went to my girlfriend's place and freaked her out...not to mention the guy she was having sex with. So I came here. Don't go in the third floor shower. I had to get that grave odor off me and it had to go somewhere..."

  • May 18, 2006, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Jason Todd and ressurection

    by Lukecash

    Simply Put Winnick was a fan who voted for Jason to live during the infamous 900 number poll. The truth is Jason only died small margin (75 votes difference). Winnick was aboard for Crisis planning two years ago-He decided to "Bring back Jason" via the "Suuperboy alternating realty with his fist" explination. And that's why it failed. Instead of making it "realistic"...whcih is how a character like Batman works the best...they went for the sci-fi fantasy explination. Yes, it tied into the crisis...but it didn't work the same reason that the Knightfall storline was marred by Bruces healing from his psycologist with mutant healing powers...thats sort of thing is not consistant with Batman's world.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:03 p.m. CST

    I don't have a problem with a resurrected Jason Todd...

    by dregmobile

    But so far what I'm reading is pretty disappointing. The shifting artists from issue to issue is jarring. You'd think if Todd cornered Joker after all this time ... he would want to do more than jam a knife through his shoulder. I'd imagine Jason would want to take a crowbar to Joker - instead, he's content with making Joker ... NOT SMILE. Holy shit, this was terrible stuff. Doesn't surprise me he is currently giving Dick shit. Dick snot ... dick shit. We have just reached a new level of talkback ...

  • May 18, 2006, 6:03 p.m. CST

    The thing that bugs me most about Montoya

    by superninja

    is that she is more pissed off than Batman. And Batman's level of pissiness is maxed out. There is no more pissiness left.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Bug, I don't remember a lot of the hippie superheroes.

    by superninja

    I hope you are not confusing "indian fringe" styling and headbands in the costumes with hippies. Because that is a PC no-no. Those are Native Americans, not hippies! The only hippies I remember were kids and or immature adults standing around, usually harassing the heroes for throwing in with the Man.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:07 p.m. CST

    ....

    by blackthought

  • May 18, 2006, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Angar The Screamer : Hippie Supervillain

    by Buzz Maverik

    Fought Daredevil, Iron Fist. Sonic scream that made you trip.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Superheroes vs. Superhippies

    by Dave_F

    http://tinyurl.com/mgsem

  • May 18, 2006, 6:21 p.m. CST

    See? Dave has my back.

    by superninja

  • May 18, 2006, 6:27 p.m. CST

    I am NOT...

    by Psynapse

    associated with Tom Cruise in ANY (ANY MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Don' make me get all frothy and red-eyed again!) manner unless said manner involves me bludgeoning that shrimpy-assed cocksmack into a bloody smear. (PS-Way to waffle Kintar0, you'd make an EXCELLENT poltician. Oh and Nofate? Keep 'em comin' son, you just continue to show me that I DID get under your skin you laughable feeb. Oh and Amherst? SUCK MY QUEER DICK you fuckin' knuckle-dragging poster child for mandatory abortion.) And yes, this is me on a 'nice' day.....

  • May 18, 2006, 6:30 p.m. CST

    I hate hippies, but I got no beef with American Indians

    by Ambush Bug

    as long as they stay away from my Cheetos, that is. And Songbird from Thunderbolts was kind of a hippe chick when she was shacking up with Angar the Screamer. The Aquarian (Wundarr) was also kind of a Christ-like hippy-messiah character from MARVEL TWO IN ONE (not the upcoming Marvel transgender comic, the one with the Thing). I always equated the Silver Surfer as being kind of a hippy too for some reason. And let's not forget D-Man, who's a bum, which is just a babystep lower than a hippy. Coincidentally, the 1970's MARVEL UNIVERSE edition came out this week. There are many hippy characters in that. And also an appearance by Hellcow!!!!!!!! Hahahahahahamoo!

  • May 18, 2006, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Round 2

    by Dave_F

    No surprise: DC's Silver Age heroes *hated* hippies: http://tinyurl.com/nwspq I'm terrified of looking back further and finding covers of Batman and Robin breaking up a civil rights sit-in...

  • May 18, 2006, 6:36 p.m. CST

    Is Psynapse a Cog?

    by Son of Batman

    Because if he is, I definitely have no further interest in what a Cog is. What a jackass. Are all Cogs like him?

  • May 18, 2006, 6:36 p.m. CST

    I do have to say...

    by kintar0

    that I support re-instating Barbara Gordon as Batgirl. They brought Jason Todd back to life, why can't Gordon get out of that wheelchair? I'm not a huge fan of that Batgirl/woman suit in IC #7. It's a bit too Batman Beyond.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:37 p.m. CST

    Well, who likes a hippie who tries to

    by superninja

    beat your ass? Again, I say it 'twas the hippie who killed the beast.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:45 p.m. CST

    The best hippie hero was Morrison's Animal Man.

    by Dave_F

    Don't let his clean-cut, suburban veneer fool you. He fought against The Man. Went vegetarian. Saved a dolphin. Ate 'shrooms. Had a vision.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Wasn't Green Arrow also a

    by superninja

    wannabe who got his ass kicked when he tried to hang with real hippies? Yet he made of Hal. What a poseur.

  • May 18, 2006, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Meant to say "made fun of Hal"

    by superninja

  • May 18, 2006, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Barbara Gordon needs to stay in the wheelchair.

    by SleazyG.

    Period. Taking her out of it would be a huge smack in the face and a storytelling and character development misstep of epic proportions.

  • May 18, 2006, 7:50 p.m. CST

    Father Time.

    by Bahimiron

    Hmm. He does have a goatee and that crazy beard. Maybe it's Green Arrow! Haha, but really. I should hope that Father Time isn't Uncle Sam, since Father Time is a complete fascist asshole. Then again, maybe Uncle Sam has just changed to represent the GOP that currently holds sway in the legislative and executive branches of our government. Hahaha! Father Time? More like Father Sean Hannity! But I digress. I'm pretty sure that it ain't Uncle Sam in disguise. Have you seen the pages from the new Freedom Fighters series yet? Father Time and his 'Freedom Fighters' (SHADE) are a bunch of wetworking bloodthirsty murdering bastards.

  • May 18, 2006, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Cog

    by Darth Kal-El

    we sure are getting a lot of press this tb!i guess ill try to jump in.the whole thing sarted almost a year ago here on the tb. there was a small group of us who would linger on the tb throughout the entire week and just bs about ANYTHING. sometimes our conversations were mildly related to comics but sometimes not. it was awy to pass the time between comic review columns. if i remember correctly(and anyone else feel free to jump in and correct)it was blackthought and gus nukem(honorary greek cog) who would constantly battle for who had 'last' post on the board. i work in a call center and at the time all i did was take phone calls so in between calls id be on the board sometimes chatting or bsing with the rest of the hangabouts. at the time it was me heathen, el vale from columbia,shigeru and the aforementioned 2. occasionally some of the reviewers would chime in and join our jackassery. then thalya posted once and the board flipped because it was an actual girl(with an actual vagina) talking comics with us. i think vale and heathen where the first to basically draft her to us and she brought psynapse with her. well we were already cool with psynapse but i think her being his friend solidified it. again this is all stuff i remeber from last year in between taking calls so if i left someone out or forgot some details its not on purpose. i think were just about having interesting discussions about comics or shows we like. ive never felt its an exclusive us agains the world thing, tho we will jump in to defend one of our people getting shit on for no reason. and weve all at one time or antoher chimed in to call out some troll going on anti @$$hole rants. yes we have inside jokes and im honestly sorry if that has made some of u feel alienated. to me the tbs are about having fun discussing the things u love. i think this is the best board on aicn because for the most part we all get along and there isnt the rampant homophobic trolling prevalent in other boards. psynapse and vale are definately the most outspoken but ive never felt like we where unaproachoable. im always open to talk about pretty much anything as long as u approach me in an adult manner. "kal-el, your a fucking idiot because u dont like the comic i like" doesnt count.anyways im rambling.sorry its been a long day at work. the name Cog came from us making fun of bendis noir-ish dialogue. things like making iron man say "da fug?" or "the hell?" and someone said hed used cog smooch as i guess "cock smooch" i dunno. anyways we started calling ourselves that or it was someting the reviewers(most likely buzz) called us. i dont remember and it went from there. were all friends and have multiple forms of cumunication besides the boards so maybe thats why the jokes seem a little to inside. just ask! id be hapy to explain if im around.

  • May 18, 2006, 7:55 p.m. CST

    i forgot

    by Darth Kal-El

    we decided that the official title is The International Leaugue of All Week Cog Smooches

  • May 18, 2006, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Dave! That FLASH cover was awesome!

    by Ambush Bug

    CHeck out that hippy chick biting Flash's leg! Damn, they don't make covers like that anymore.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:16 p.m. CST

    oh yeah...

    by blackthought

    gus ( and i, og's of tiloawcs or is it the ilawcs...too old to remember...but nice summation darth (the muscle and the last man)...thank god we aren't the illuminati.....banana bread. anyway when we make that official website, info on cog smooches will be readily available...as well as the address to send us $$$$$$ if you don't send it to buzz after his def@$$inition...must keep the cog fridge stocked.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:17 p.m. CST

    but see...

    by Darth Kal-El

    ...how did some drugged out lazy hippys catch the flash to begin with? those are some Turbo Hippies! they dont make HIPPIES Like they used to.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Well...

    by Ambush Bug

    obviously they used some hippy mind-trip mechanism to slow the Flash down. It probably involved playing some Rusted Root, dousing his path with petruli oil to make him lose his footing, and then force-feeding him some special brownies. I don't know much, but what I do know that every time you let a hippy bite you, a puppy dies slowly, violently, and alone.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:30 p.m. CST

    Two Boosters... Same Writer

    by Squashua

    Hey Irwin Schwab, keep in mind that Countdown and 52 were orchestrated by the same team performing coordination for the whoe Countdown/IC/52 epic. Booster is key. My theory is htat our old beaten JLI Booster went into the future and then his future timeline was erased with him in it. Then a Booster (same Michael Carter, different timeline) comes back in time from a different future, with knowledge that a Booster was already in the past to take his place... and it turns out that so many things are coming from the future into the past and changing it... (Booster, Captain Boomerang Junior, Boomerang Jr's brother: Bart Allen, etc.) ... that the historical documents that the new Skeets has are no longer relevant.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:37 p.m. CST

    bludgeoned with a car?

    by v1cious

    i think that's enough to make you at least curious about this book.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:51 p.m. CST

    Dear Son of Batman....

    by Psynapse

    Kind sir, calling me a jackass is an insult in that it belittles my true nature. I sir, am an ASSHOLE of the highest order. Furthermore, since none of my comments WERE directed at you but rather 2 individuals I've previously sparred with (and in response no less) and one who made some of THE most homophobic (Because given that we exist in every other stratum of society why the fuck shouldn't we be represented in fictional depictions thereof?) comments I've read on this column in some time, I'd suggest you not give me a reason to turn on you (because this monkey ALWAYS pushes the button). PS-Kintar0-I agree wholeheartedly, Alan Moore and Brian Bolland be damned, I would LOVE to see Babs as BatGirl again. (See? We obviously disagree on much but there is always common ground to be had.)(*_^)PS2-I'm not so sure Booster is going to live through 52 folks, DC may well have spoiled this in their August solicits on Newsarama.

  • May 18, 2006, 9:57 p.m. CST

    See?

    by Psynapse

    Scroll down, read the solicit for 52 and check out the bottom left cover. ***http://tinyurl.com/g5xju**

  • May 18, 2006, 10 p.m. CST

    i also noticed theyre bringing back sue dibny

    by Darth Kal-El

    maybe shell be a godlike destroyer of worlds and then the jla will have to fight her and ultimately fight for and ralph will watch her sacrifice herself on the moon...er

  • May 18, 2006, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Sue Dibney of Earth-Q

    by Squashua

    If you go to the 52 website, there are a number of articles, including a few advice columns, one of which references a marital issue of an unwillingly divorced man who meets ANOTHER version of his wife who hails from a different parallel earth, but was displaced to New Earth after IC. Makes you wonder if they'll pull that sort of shit with Sue. And never judge a content by it's cover. That cover with Booster's goggles is just there to introduce Supernova, who is featured in the reflection.

  • May 18, 2006, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Yeah, but the solicit of JLA is cooler...

    by Ambush Bug

    follow the above tinyurl and look at the possible lineup for the new JLA. Not only does it show pretty much all of the big guns of the DCU, but waaaaaay in the back is someone who isn't even supposed to be in this era. The Karate Kid from the Legion. My theory: It's actually Connor Hawke who has been missing from both OYL and 52. Connor Hawke/The New present day Karate Kid?!?!? Could it be?!?! Sounds cool to me. We already have one GA, put Connor in a gi and wind him up for some kung fu @$$-kickery, I say.

  • May 18, 2006, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Do we know yet what the exact lineup is for this JLA?

    by dregmobile

    I remember there was one addition who was a big question mark. Does anyone know who that is?

  • May 18, 2006, 11:17 p.m. CST

    In Memoriam......

    by Psynapse

    ***http://tinyurl.com/kjljn**<Snif!>

  • May 19, 2006, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Superman is a freak out!

    by rev_skarekroe

    I love reading stuff from squares who tried to use hippie lingo with absolutely no idea what any of it actually meant.

  • May 19, 2006, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Friggin Hippies.

    by Shigeru

    Only a Hippie would be dumb enough to try and bite Flash&#39;s thigh. I mean seriously wtf. Now if they all gathered together and formed a massive drum circle with their fucking djimbes and "jammed" for like 2 hours that would probably cause the Flash to vibrate himself out of existence the pain would be so bad. And I wonder if Superman with his super-hearing leaves the solar system every year during the Bonaroo festival, cause no matter where on Earth he is, all he hears is Phish playing for NINE STRAIGHT HOURS.

  • May 19, 2006, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Sleazy, why shouldn&#39;t Barbara come out...

    by amherst90jl

    ...of the chair? Maybe she would be much happier taking a chance and coming out, rather than try and live up to other people&#39;s expectations by not being true to herself and hiding in the chair? I have a friend who was a closet "walker" and stayind in a wheelchair for years, even had four kids, but was dying on the inside. Finally, with the support and love of all his secret walkie friends, he took his first steps for all the world to see and he&#39;s never been more at peace with himself. Sure, his kids get picked on at school for having two walkies as dad, and his poor ex-wheelchair has to live every day of the rest of her life with the humiliation that her man left her for a life in regular parking spaces (which he can back in, no less), but, again, he&#39;s never had more peace. Why don&#39;t you try talking to a ca-ripp-led and see if what taking a chance and walking is REALLY LIKE!

  • May 19, 2006, 9:32 a.m. CST

    I would understand your point, Sleazy...

    by amherst90jl

    if you tell me you&#39;re sick of white, pretty boy walkies in all your damn comics. Completely agree. Those f#uckers have been ruling the scene in comics for waaay too long, right?

  • May 19, 2006, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Au contraire my dear Psynapse

    by nofate

    Counting your most recent brain fart, you have now felt compelled to respond to my legendary berating of that cur you call mother 4 times, the most recent on an off handed mention. So, by show of hands, who is getting under whose skin my deluded friend?

  • May 19, 2006, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Moviemack understands modern

    by superninja

    superhero comics. I think he summed up everything Marvel and DC have written for the last 2 years.

  • May 19, 2006, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Current things (more history of the Cog&#39;s, hatred, 52)

    by The Heathen

    Yes, Kal-El&#39;s definition is a solid one. Nearly a year has passed and the Cogs have stayed united. There&#39;s no handshake, no password for the club house, no discrimination - just a small group of fans of comics and entertainment. Were really all quite decent, but if all we have to reply too is "this sucks" "fuck you&#39;s" "pwned" "everything Batman sucks, but I really like Batman" "homo&#39;s are gay" and other such ignorant and childish things, then we (like anybody else) will reply with due force. But, anyway

  • May 19, 2006, 2:11 p.m. CST

    very nice summation heath

    by Darth Kal-El

    and your right now i remeber it was u that gave us the name.***speaking of "homo&#39;s are gay" and other such ignorant and childish things" look no further than those bastions of humour and wit amherst and nofate.

  • May 19, 2006, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Good Cog History summation guys

    by El Vale

    I have more stuff to add: First of all if you call me Vale from Columbia, it kinda sounds like some dude from Columbia University. So let&#39;s stick with Vale from ColOmbia the country. Aside from that, i remember being a founding member of the Cogs and i remember some weeks after we started All Weeking i called one of you guys "my fellow All Weeker" and then you guys added the Cog smooching part which i JUST understood. Boy do i feel like an idiot. Also i gotta say this isn&#39;t a clubhouse kinda scenario or anything so yeah there&#39;s no secret handshake or anything lame like that and we&#39;re probably the friendliest people on the internet right now. And if you stop reading when Thalya starts talking about her fanfic, well then you&#39;re missing out on a lot probably cause, first of all no one talks about the fanfic all that much and second, many of the best talkback sesions have been tail end sections because later in the week you don&#39;t get the idiots named "brqwe2135497" jumping in and randomly saying "FIRST! And this column sucks". We&#39;ve gotten into pretty interesting, friendly and sometimes even inspiring conversations about the medium with the @$$holes and the talkbackers who decide to chime in. Not one of us is a raging fanatic and many of us disagree on our tastes, so it&#39;s not like you have to like something or dislike something to join the debate, you know? And also, sometimes it may not look it but Psynapse is one of the coolest and nicest guys around. Good dirty jokes too. Lastly, i think we all take the Cog thing seriously but we don&#39;t take it seriously, if that makes any sense. We&#39;re here every week when we have the time to post because it&#39;s nice hanging out with friends and have nice conversations about the things you love and that&#39;s it. So yay for us, i guess.

  • May 19, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Yo Dumbass..(you know who who you are)

    by Psynapse

    Please re-read the earlier post wherein I said that this monkey ALWAYS pushes the button. Unless you&#39;re going to insult me for being gay (and I DARE you to on this TB, double dog down and dirty DARE) you CAN&#39;T upset me because I don&#39;t give a hairy rat&#39;s ass what anyone who has never met me thinks or says about me. (Though I DO sincerely appreciate any kindness bestowed upon my cranky lil self by ANYONE). In other words, don&#39;t flatter yourself because it&#39;s nothing more than a pavlovian response.

  • May 19, 2006, 2:37 p.m. CST

    i always mess up spelling COLOMBIA

    by Darth Kal-El

    im too damn americanized! cry your pardon my fellow all weeker. yes i remember u using the term first.and i agree weve had some doozies on this here board and i also agree with the statements about psynapse and us being the nicest people on the net. god im just in an agreeable mood today! its cuz its finally fucking friday and i can rest from the insanity that is work!

  • May 19, 2006, 2:51 p.m. CST

    We are the nicest people on the net

    by The Heathen

    and if you don&#39;t agree - then fuck you!!! <--- Just kidding people. ; ) Yeah, you know if you can mention politics on AICN or anywhere and not break your keyboard, then you&#39;ve got a decent group of people. Talking about Bendis and Moore is another story though! And, btw, Thalya hasn&#39;t mentioned her fan fic that much recently besides last week because, god forbid, she wants some feedback from fellow comic book readers! Imagine that! Speaking of which

  • May 19, 2006, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Crossovers: In the end?

    by The Heathen

    Well, let me say that for starters that I haven&#39;t read Morrison&#39;s JLA or Animal Man run&#39;s (shame, I know), so I was a little in the dark on some of those happenings I guess. You&#39;ve got a good handle on the characters I think, but some, like Star Saphire I&#39;m more familiar with from the Jutice League cartoons than the comics though. Now I&#39;ll just mention random thoughts I had while reading it, Thalya, bare with me. Captain Cold out of costume for the majority of the story was a little confusing visually. I&#39;d have him at least have on those 3-D looking shades of his though, just to single out his identity a little easier. Also, having to read their dialogue by CC: and WW: and SS: and FF: slowed me down everytime (I am slow, some say special too) I read their lines. I think WW is Wonder Woman, not Weather Wizard, FF is Fantastic Four, not Felix Faust, CC is Closed Captioned, not Captain Cold and so on. Again, I&#39;m slow with stuff like that. The other thing is, I&#39;m not sure what your overall goal is for the story. Maybe if you tell me your plans for it, then I&#39;d be clued in on a little more. Right now, I&#39;m a little confused I guess. Not to mention, I&#39;m crossovered out, especially with multiple dimensions and worlds after HoM and Infinite Crisis.

  • May 19, 2006, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Wonder Woman fighting the Fantastic Four!

    by Shigeru

    All in Closed Captioned! I&#39;d buy that comic. *** Anyways I&#39;m so proud of my fellow Cogs&#39; explanations/validations of our silly little gathering here... *sniff*... we&#39;re so awesome...

  • May 19, 2006, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Ha ha! Psynapse, you are so gay!

    by rev_skarekroe

    Honestly though, I actually have no idea what you&#39;re talking about.

  • May 19, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    did u guys hear how much

    by Darth Kal-El

    the PS3 is going to cost? 599.99!

  • May 19, 2006, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Yep, I&#39;m glad we got the 360, Kal-El

    by The Heathen

    we could get that AND a Wii for less than one PS3!!! Sony jumped the shark, shot themselves in the foot they did. We also have Halo 3 (hopefully plays more like the original) and Gears of War which is nothing less than jaw dropping. Good times for Nintendo and Microsoft.

  • May 19, 2006, 4:38 p.m. CST

    gears of war looks amazing

    by Darth Kal-El

    have you seen the trailer for dead rising? its available as a download from the marketplace. that looks like a lot of fun too and yes of course HALO 3. im not going to be buying the wii tho. im just not that interested in it.and it looks like im not going to be PS3ing either. but yes like u said im glad we got the 360.

  • May 19, 2006, 4:52 p.m. CST

    I may not get a Wii

    by The Heathen

    but just the fact that I can get the two systems for the price of Sony&#39;s one is mighty tempting. I&#39;ll have to see how much fun, Shigeru has with the Wii (Weeee!!!!) A lightsaber fight with the Wii-mote is all I really care about. I don&#39;t want to brush a dog or anything with it

  • May 19, 2006, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Kal, check out Lost Planet too

    by The Heathen

    that looks awesome as well.

  • May 19, 2006, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Has it been a year since Episode III already?

    by The Heathen

  • May 19, 2006, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Dear rev_skarekroe.....

    by Psynapse

    *SNARF!*

  • May 19, 2006, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Y&#39;know, I really like Colombia....

    by Psynapse

    Best weed I ever smoked came from there. Best coke I ever snorted came from there. 3 of the best people Ive ever known came from there (2 Cogs and a co-worker). Hell Colombia is where El Dorado is. Damn Colombia&#39;s pretty freakin&#39; cool.....

  • May 19, 2006, 6:11 p.m. CST

    vale, good to see you alive...

    by blackthought

    my fellow colOmbian...i fuggin&#39; hate when our name is spelt wrong...Columbia...i&#39;m like fug&#39; that? i have the same problem when some one pronounces wisconsin like this: wEsconsin...seriously...where the fuck did the e come from? wis like swiss...and you know, damn it feels to be a cog...where else are you going to get the last man, a diabetic halo fiend, an anti-flooder who knows the force, a gay man with stupendously dirty jokes, a pug mascot, 2 colombians...one is last crazy and is meh on bendis the other loves the bendii and does good ol&#39; porn comics who all convene on a mansion/watchtower facility to fight over banana/zuchini and various other types of bread. and if i see colombia spelt wrong or used wrong one more time i&#39;m just gonna make the offender read hom on a loop interspered with liefeld "art".

  • May 19, 2006, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Bug, re: Firebrand..

    by Thalya

    AMEN CARTMAN! Firebrand was being intensely annoying, but then it looked like the Teen Titans in the mix were providing some very mature and responsible counterpoint to him. But then what makes me sink my head and sigh is that the story is gonna have to wind up vindicating Firebrand. The old definition of Freedom Fighters isn&#39;t what is was during WW2 (how many different publications have called Iraqi insurgents "freedom fighters"?). <RANT> AUGH!!! The old us vs. the evil shadow gov&#39;t was trite and cliche post-Matrix and why is it that that&#39;s nearly the only source of plotlines that seem big nowadays? What? Can&#39;t writers grow an imagination anymore? Ugh. </RANT>

  • May 19, 2006, 6:31 p.m. CST

    I Echo El To The Guy Who Bitched About Thalya&#39;s Fanfic.

    by Buzz Maverik

    I was gonna get to that but I&#39;m self involved. I like it when Thalya writes about her fanfic. She&#39;s doing something, saying something. What should the hell she talkback about? "Uh, that comic sucks." "I think I&#39;ll buy that." "Kryptonite can beat up Superman." And I like it when Sleazy goes for some dork&#39;s throat and El is semi-coherent and somebody defends/bashes Bendis. I even like it when some cherry bitches that we don&#39;t review comics the second they come out. About the only thing I don&#39;t like on the talkbacks are when some idiot says that he wants us to review the top ten bestselling comics, tell the plots and tell say how great they are and nothing else. Mostly I get those in personal e-mails everytime I write reviews. Last time, I kept replying to the guy, "Yeah, Timmy, but what did you think of my review." "I keep telling you, Buzz, I thought it was stupid because..." "Yeah, Timmy, but what did you think of my review?" Timmy, I was makin&#39; fun of ya. Sorry to be so blunt here but you have to know....So I just got back from the film adaptation of Brian Michael Bendis&#39; novel THE DA VINCI code and even though the movie sucked, I liked the way they opened up Bendis talkie story by having it start with the French guy getting chased through the Louvre (which is not one of those things you put on the back window of your customized Trans Am or Camaro, btw) by Jennifer Connelly&#39;s husband.

  • May 19, 2006, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Vale, do say more on Supreme Power and We3

    by The Heathen

    What issues did you get through? My wife is reading We3 now too. We named our three goldfish: 1, 2 and 3. Our other fish (an algae eater who doesn&#39;t eat algae) is named, Quitely. I found it fitting. *** blackthought, maybe my blood sugar is getting low, but I think I&#39;m pulling an Anakin on Halo, well, at least the multiplayer of Halo 2. FUCK IT!!! *pfffzz* (ignites lightsaber and cuts it down like a youngling) I&#39;m hoping Halo 3 brings back some of the "skill" that was REQUIRED to have in the original Halo and leaves the "noobified" Halo 2 gameplay alone. End rant. Now where&#39;s some damn bread! *** Lost was crazy. ****(SPOILERS)**** Fuck, Michael. He didn&#39;t have to kill people in orde to do this insane shit anyway. Sayid is the man and makes the most sense. Good for Locke too. He&#39;s like, "fuck it, I&#39;m done." Maybe the island chose Echo as it&#39;s new fall boy? Next week, better answer something. Hope it doesn&#39;t do an ALIAS though and nose dive in quality after next week. Please, please, please don&#39;t!

  • May 19, 2006, 6:50 p.m. CST

    In Defense Of Hippies...

    by Buzz Maverik

    First of all, hippie archaeologists raided Aleistir Crowley&#39;s tomb in the &#39;60s and rediscovered dope, which The Man had kept hidden from us for centuries. They modernized it so much that Nick Tosches had to write a whole book about how you can&#39;t score opium any more and even if you can, you can&#39;t smoke it in an opium den run by Fu Manchu. Hippies figured out a way to have fun with drugs used by Rastafarians in their religion and the CIA in their MK-Search mindcontrol experiments (Hi, Agent Kiplinger!). Hippies brought back the search for immortality (what do you think Timothy Leary was really trying to do?). Hippie chicks burned their bras while hippie guys burned their draft cards. Hippies had really good music. I&#39;m particuarily fond of Jimi Hendrix&#39; THE WIND CRIES MARY and VOODOO CHILD. Hippies even had cool bad guys like that Manson bunch. They ended the Vietnam War and got Nixon out of the White House. Hippie movies were cool like THE TRIP, EASY RIDER, etc. Hippie&#39;s had good poster art. I love those Filmore West posters. They had cool looking bongs, hookahs and weird ass water pipes. They had murals on vans. I miss murals on vans. There was a guy up the street from me when I was a kind who had Frazetta&#39;s FROST GIANTS on his van. I mentioned Conan to him and he said I was fucked in the head, those guys were bikers. Hippies helped bring back witchcraft, which is clearly a benefit to us all. Because hippies invented long hair, I finally stopped getting my ass kicked in the 70s when I convinced my parents to let grow mine. Hippies had good books like ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO&#39;S NEST, SIDDHARTHA, BRAVE NEW WORLD, ATLAS SHRUGGED, FEAR OF FLYING and CATCH 22. They made great brownies and had great comics by R. Crumb. Say what you want about me, but when you badmouth our hippie forefathers, you are bad mouthing America and I, for one, am not going to stand for it.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:01 p.m. CST

    BTW, We&#39;re All Doomed By The Misspelling of CTHULHU.

    by Buzz Maverik

    In the Pull List up top. We&#39;re talking a total distortion of reality beyond good and evil where our insignifcance is eternal. I don&#39;t know about you but I&#39;ve been to church (both Starry Wisdom and the Temple of Dagon). All we can do now is read the NECRONOMICON backwards. Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhatagen! Yogsothoth will take them. Behold, the Black Goat of the Woods With A Thousand Young. Well, off to the comic shop.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:04 p.m. CST

    I Keep Studying Da Vinci&#39;s Work. One Conclusion:

    by Buzz Maverik

    Paul is indeed dead.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Is It True That You Cogs Believe....

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...that you can cure depression by hopping on a couch? And that aliens live in volcanos? Because you&#39;ve got it backwards.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Firebrand is not a hippie.

    by SleazyG.

    Anybody who thinks he is doesn&#39;t know what a real hippie is. Hating fascism and the violation of our constitutional rights doesn&#39;t make you a hippie. Patchouli oil, 83 live Dead bootlegs and a ziplock bag full of skunkweed makes you a hippie. Hippies are good at saying "hey hey, ho ho, this forty-year-old chant has got to go", but they&#39;re not real, what&#39;s the term, "take charge". The mere fact that Firebrand is willing to get off his ass and do something--the fact he&#39;d even consider punching a fascist bullyboy in the face--means he cannot, will not, be a hippie.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:29 p.m. CST

    HEATHEN!!! You rock!!!

    by Thalya

    And I can definitely address your issues. Hell, I&#39;ll go in right now and clear up the names-issue because I can definitely see that (I was thinking Wonder Woman alot of the time too). On Morrison&#39;s JLA - no need to really have read it all at all. Something from one of the later issues gets brought up in my fourth or fifth script, but that&#39;s it. On Animal Man, all you need is the Deus Ex Machina TPB, or just look up the gist of the storyline on dcuguide.com as well as The Writer (under W) in the index section. I&#39;m sorely underread on most things Morrison anyway, so it&#39;s not like you have to have an extensive working knowledge. On Star Sapphire: that&#39;s perfect what you know, though you know the basics of Carol Ferris/Hal Jordan relationship right? I&#39;m using the Star Sapphire that got offed in IC (the one closest to the one modelled in JLU) because she was in a GL story (#199-200, I think, right around the time of COIE) where she teamed up with Guy Gardner and Hector Hammond and it gave me an idea for lingering traces of something, hence her current relationship. I&#39;ll know more once I pick them up at a con in a couple of weeks. As for CC out of costume for half the issue, I was kinda going for a slow reveal so that panel 3 on page 14 would have a little more impact. As for the overall goal? Er, let me save that for the next post. (also, while I&#39;m at it, while I was fixing the names, I couldn&#39;t help but give Faust one last line that just came to me. I&#39;m a sucker for the funny, if it&#39;s all that funny.)

  • May 19, 2006, 7:43 p.m. CST

    Almost Buzz

    by The Heathen

    The only thing that lives down our local Volcano is poop

  • May 19, 2006, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Morrisson&#39;s JLA kept me going ...

    by dregmobile

    ... when the rest of DC comics bored me - shit like the Death of Clark Kent and electric superman and what not ... JLA had been the only title I collected through those dark years. I walked with my head down so I didn&#39;t notice if any comics OUTSIDE OF DC might have been good (if only I could go back in time and slap myself awake). Anyway - they were great balls-to-the-wall adventures each and every time out barring the odd one or maybe two plastic man-focus issues. They kicked a lot of ass.

  • May 19, 2006, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Cool, Thalya

    by The Heathen

    yeah, just little things like that. I&#39;ll check out the panel on Captain Cold you mentioned for impact on pg 14. I guess it was because I KNEW who he was, but I guess the reader isn&#39;t supposed to yet right? That Brian Bolland cover for Animal Man is the shit. Bolland is awesome. As soon as you reveal more, I think that I may catch on. If you don&#39;t want to hear, there&#39;s always the Cogmail express or CogSpace, or the traditonal boom tube! I&#39;m gonna retire for the evening, fellow Cogs, @$$es, and tb&#39;ers. I gotta feed the Spectregans and clean up his ectoplasm drool. Later!

  • May 19, 2006, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Batman 651

    by dregmobile

    Sucked. I cancelled this title before I even caught up on them. I had to have a minimum 4 titles on my order at my comic shop and I thought I couldn&#39;t go too wrong with the Batman staple. ... yuck. Thanks to all these Civil War titles I&#39;ll get I cancelled Bats and am fucking glad. His return in that OYL issue couldn&#39;t have been more underwhelming. The face-off with Poison Ivy insmonia-curing. The art incredibly cheap. Surely there are enough talented writers and artists out there to keep these big titles mildy interesting. These issues were complete garbage - except for maybe two great one-liners Black Mask tried on Deathstroke. And who came up with the brilliant marketing scheme of advertising a fucking Pontiac on the back of Batman 651? Which a$$hole or teenager has $20k lying around to buy one of these???

  • May 19, 2006, 7:55 p.m. CST

    And for the record...

    by dregmobile

    I thought Da Vinci Code was a good film. Not great. Not shit. Good. Had no idea Bendis wrote the book. Fascinating ...

  • May 19, 2006, 11:36 p.m. CST

    MOONKNIGHT 2

    by Throb

    Anyone else pick up MoonKnight #02? That was some of the sickest, bloodiest stuff I&#39;ve seen in a while. Better than #01, in that it was actually coherent and seemed to be heading somewhere. All Star Batman and Robin #04, was actually ok, got to see the batcave, slightly cool, but still nothing much happens-again. Jim Lee could draw a steaming turd and make me want to buy it. Not caring for much of the Annialation stuff in general, but really enjoying Nova. Issue #2 was great. Nothing like a smart-assed teen to liven things up(sweet glutes, indeed).

  • May 20, 2006, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Supreme Power and We3

    by El Vale

    Well first of all, We3&#39;s just amazing. "Bad dog". The comic never tries to blatantly tug at your heartstrings but it still feels heartfelt, which is a tight rope to walk indeed. And Quitely...no words. Should&#39;ve sent a poet.***Supreme Power is very good but very frustrating at the same time. The art could be so much better with a talented artist handling the inks...stupid fucking John Sibal. I&#39;d talk more but i&#39;m drunk and sleepy so good night everyone, i&#39;ll see you tomorrow.

  • May 20, 2006, 4:16 a.m. CST

    You&#39;re dropping BATMAN now?

    by vroom socko

    Damn, son! I&#39;m just getting ready to *start* getting BATMAN! Or is it DETECTIVE... The one Paul Dini is writing, not the one Grant Morrison is writing. Sorry, but for some reason Morrison&#39;s stuff just doesn&#39;t click with me. Dini, of course, was the best thing to happen to Batman storytelling since Neil Adams, so buying that one&#39;s a no brainer. *** Is this banana bread here for just anyone?

  • May 20, 2006, 6:36 a.m. CST

    help yourself vroom

    by Darth Kal-El

    were all friends here

  • May 20, 2006, 6:42 a.m. CST

    RE:Throb,moon knight 2

    by Darth Kal-El

    picked it up but havent read it yet. tho im sure by the end of the weekend i will have.i liked issue 1 a lot actually.im kind of embarrassed because it was very &#39;90s mcfarlaney type of comic.i was waiting for MK to say hes going to &#39;rise above it all&#39; but i dug the shit out of it. i know i say it a lot but this is going to look great in trades.so will the entire anhilation thing.

  • May 20, 2006, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Goddamn Hippies!

    by ComputerGuy68

  • May 20, 2006, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Banana Bread....

    by Psynapse

    Banana (and all other types of) Bread IS open to all. However, one should be aware of the deathmatch clause. See, it happened back in 1969 when Psy was but a wee 1 year old. Psy&#39;s Uncle Psychedelic (who would later morph into Uncle Jesus (but still cool)), using a combination of LSD, Marijuana, Jimi Hendrix, and Banana Bread, discovered the Quantum Accelerator Equation. It&#39;s kinda like DC&#39;s Anti-Life Equation except that instead of bummer death junk you get some kind of cosmic awareness of the impending apocalypse and a hard to understand timeline roadmap to it. Uncle Psy also believed exposure to the equation primed a person&#39;s quantum signature to better prepare them for the necessary psychic adjustments to survive it. For some unknown reason the item most resonant to the equation that exists in our spacetime continuum is banana bread. This means that every occurrence of consuming banana bread has an exponentially increasing possibility of triggering a transcendental illumination. Using his newfound Uncle Jesus (but still cool) powers he sent foward a tachyon pulse into spacetime. At the very first assemblage of the current roster of Cogs the pulse detonated and revealed (albeit sub-conscously) to all attendant the sacred power of banana bread. Without knowing quite why the Cogs enacted the Banana Bread Deathmatch Clause which is simply that all instances of banana bread are subject to a deatmatch should any party involved desire it. Apparently the closer we get to the apocalypse the scarcer the supplies of banana bread will become and the clause ensures that those most worthy will have the necessary amounts.

  • May 20, 2006, 10:39 a.m. CST

    dreg, that would be a Costanza size mistake!

    by The Heathen

    Morrison & Kubert on Batman and Paul Dini & J.H. Williams III on Detective!!! Out of those four people there HAS to be at least one person somebody not only likes, but loves. I can&#39;t wait to hear moviemack on these books

  • May 20, 2006, 1:33 p.m. CST

    ah, yes...the cage...

    by blackthought

    and i&#39;m liking robinson&#39;s face to face arc on the oyl batman. i watched over the hedge last night being the "animator" that i am i was required by law to see and the movie was rather enjoyful with a swell cast, good animation, though the eyes might of been rendered too realisticly compared to the character designs, the texturing though was quite good...er..back to normal speak...any good flick without dreamworks unhealthy desire to drown every animated feature with inane pop culture references. oh and it&#39;s based on a comic strip and is better adapted than any of moore&#39;s work has been...poor fellow. and now i bring zee cage...let the deathmatch begin. and i&#39;ve taken the liberty to stock the cogmasion/tower/lair/cave with emergency booster gold suits as well to accompany our emergency bat suits...and one day we&#39;ll eventually get to the figthing crime thingie...till then, bring the devil shit.

  • May 20, 2006, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Ah.. Emergency Bat Suits.. that was a good week..

    by Thalya

    What would Alfred do? You&#39;re quite the loquacious one of late, blackthought. Pressure of schoolwork ease? And I think you spot-on nailed Dreamworks. I keep trying to explain the said evilness to my manager and he just doesn&#39;t get it. Also, if the deathmatches are going to held in the cage, does that mean we need to move the hamster wheel, food bowl, and boom tube?

  • May 20, 2006, 2:46 p.m. CST

    All Star Alfred or normal Alfred?

    by The Heathen

    Don&#39;t we have both? All Star Alfred always makes sure I&#39;m tucked in tight and he&#39;s kinda freaking me out. I might try on the Emergency Booster Gold suit. Spectregans chewed my cowl on the emergency batsuit and it just looks retarded I tell ya. Hmm

  • May 20, 2006, 6:20 p.m. CST

    Anyone else going to Wizard World Philly?

    by Thalya

  • May 20, 2006, 7 p.m. CST

    im boycotting church tomorrow

    by Darth Kal-El

    in response to the christian boycotts of the davinci code....who am i kidding im just going to be up too late drinking.i might even be in my emergency batsuit. Alfred bring me more rum and coke and dont hold back on the rum!

  • May 20, 2006, 8:50 p.m. CST

    i&#39;m waiting for christian churches to boycott the bible

    by blackthought

    i wouldn&#39;t put it past them...and alfred...these pillows aren&#39;t fluffy enough.

  • May 20, 2006, 9:07 p.m. CST

    If Batman gets good, I&#39;ll backtrack.

    by dregmobile

    What bugs me is if I want to collect Batman, I got to collect Detective, the other goddamn half. And right now I am putting that cash towards all these Civil War tie-ins.

  • May 21, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Not after the Face To Face arc, dreg

    by The Heathen

    I know that Dini, specifically wants to do single story mystery issues with a beginning, middle and end. This will help with schedules from artists like JH Williams III because if he gets behind, you can have somebody else fill in and it won&#39;t break up the flow, because as aformentioned, the stories are self contained. Oh, and playing catch up on these issues could prove pricey. Just look at the first issues from the Hush arc. *** I saw Over the Hedge late last night. It was okay. Nice animation and I&#39;m glad their wasn&#39;t consatant pop culture references every second too. Best scene was Hammy with the soda near the end.

  • May 21, 2006, 2:27 p.m. CST

    hammy is the new flash...

    by blackthought

    and this x3 movie, i still don&#39;t know about...mori gave it a rather good review...so there&#39;s hope...but i don&#39;t remember callisto being a speedster or dressed all funky like she is...so the changes irk me at times...i think i&#39;m already pissed at how poorly they&#39;ve treated good old cyclops, then again he is my favorite x-man.

  • May 21, 2006, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Things we will see in X-Men 3

    by The Heathen

    Versions of Psylocke, Omega Red, Moira MacTaggart, Multiple Man, Dr. Kavita Rao, Leech and Chris Claremont plays a lawnmower man.

  • May 21, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    black, you should be pissed about Cyke

    by The Heathen

    and Hammy stole the speed force!!!

  • May 21, 2006, 4:24 p.m. CST

    I&#39;ll watch the Batman issues closely then ...

    by dregmobile

    ... to the point where the guy behind the counter asks me if I&#39;m "going to buy that?". Just finished Batman 652 and I&#39;m not really excited. I have to say the art is pretty bland. The design of the batwing is ok ... but I think the batmobile looks awful with it&#39;s three wings. Iron Man 7, on the other hand, which I finally got to - was great. Setting up a cool story against the backdrop of the Avengers. Stark is kind of this rich asshole, yet at the moment I can&#39;t help but find him a fascinating hero, especially with this CW going down. I actually want to try and get all the previous Avengers titles now, especially that Avengers: Disassembled. I also wouldn&#39;t mind trying to hunt down issues related to where the hell Thor went to and the one where Hulk trashes Vegas ...

  • May 21, 2006, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Ahh... finally got to my LCS for the week..

    by Thalya

    BOOK OF THE WEEK (to be hereafter known as BOTW): Manhunter! (even over 52!) It feels like things kicked into 2nd-half-of-Angel-S5 mode when they knew they were canned and the quality of each succeeding episode jumped exponentially over the previous. I can&#39;t find a flaw save the corny villain reveal and the artwork is great, especially facial detail (highlight: the discovery of a 4th generation Infinity Inc member in the making). Kate&#39;s clearly going to the revamped Justice Society of America or Infinity Inc after it&#39;s all over and adding a mother to a team group (besides Polly, who really wasn&#39;t viewed as a mom) is a novel idea whose time has come, but then what happens to the awesome supporting cast!?! Where goes Dylan Battles, and will we find out if he&#39;s the (il)legitimate son of the Calculator? Augh! I jumped onto this series too late! DC, more TPBs plz!

  • May 21, 2006, 4:59 p.m. CST

    In other news..

    by Thalya

    How does one of the best first OYL books go from gem to pyrite in 3 issues? I&#39;m talking about Robin of course and it ain&#39;t the change in penciller. The melodramatic turn by the new villain, well, I&#39;ve never read any portrayal of this character before, but this sounds completely ridiculous, even OYL. Oi. I&#39;m only staying on until the upcoming Boomerang Jr issues are done. *** And having just seen an X3 commercial, I&#39;m taking the movie as a slam-bang action fest and only that. Should be good for a kick and if it&#39;s better, it&#39;s better, and if it&#39;s worse, it&#39;s worse. The Pyro/Iceman fight is what I wanna see (particularly if Bobby ever ices up - if that happens, I&#39;ll leave happy).

  • May 21, 2006, 9:32 p.m. CST

    supes third trailer...

    by blackthought

    looked hella good...bullet eye fx was so well done as well as the compositing on the opening shot of the trailer with the outer area of the fortress of solitude...looking good...and damn straight i am pissed about cyke.

  • May 22, 2006, 1:03 a.m. CST

    everytime you say &#39;hella&#39;

    by Darth Kal-El

    a hippie dies violently.x3 is going to be hella tight altho it is hella lame that a lot of xmen die but the fastball special scene looks hella nice!i cant wait im going to try to do my hair logan style which i know is hella geeky but fuck im a geek! im hella pissed that its almost monday...

  • May 22, 2006, 1:12 a.m. CST

    that superman trailer is amazing

    by Darth Kal-El

    i came a lot

  • May 22, 2006, 8:54 a.m. CST

    picked up that CTHULHU TALES and...

    by Shigeru

    at the end of the "Witch Hunter" story, the hunter guy goes back to his house in IPSWICH, MASS to feed his crazy tentacle-daughter. Um yeah I work in IPSWICH. I&#39;m there right now. *looks over should for creepy tentacle girl*! Oh and that first story (The Beach?) was amazing. I thought it was terrifying.

  • May 22, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST

    when i saw ipswich...

    by blackthought

    i thought you were talking about the championship english football team...the tractor boys are they are called...good ol&#39; ipswich football club...but alas, nay...and hella good and what not comes from my youth where i listen to a lot of del the funky homoseipien formerly known as del the funky homosuperior before he took the "cure". and i want joss whedon to direct an x-man flick where cyke blows up a mountain...in fact might as well adapt one of his storylines from his astonishing run...er...wait, they already "tried"...but maybe a hellsfire club one that is currently happening would make a sweet movie...get some colossus/kitty fun...get the white queen and scott together and go from...er...wait, they killed cyke in x3...so...wait, it&#39;s marvel...what continuity?

  • May 22, 2006, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Superman tralier. The Last Stand. Bauer.

    by The Heathen

    wow. That was great. How can you not smile at that last shot? Fun stuff. *** X-Men: The Last Stand. After reading Mori&#39;s review, I have this glimmer of hope for this movie for which I thought would be doomed after reading the script review. If it&#39;s nothing but an action movie, I can deal maybe, but I dunno about all the deaths. I just don&#39;t want an even shittier X-Men 4 along the same vein that Alien Resurrection was. Fox knows how to suck dry a series, that&#39;s for sure. But, at least I have some hope now. I&#39;m not taking things into continuity or anything, cause how could you with any comic movie? *** Jack Bauer Power HOURS tonight!!!

  • May 22, 2006, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I didn&#39;t think it&#39;d be possible

    by El Vale

    But Mori&#39;s review has me looking forward to X3. What else, what else...oh yeah! Alien resurrection is a highly underrated movie, i just love it. I never understood why everyone thought it was horrible.

  • May 22, 2006, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Vale

    by The Heathen

    you kidding about Alien Resurrection right? Oh man, talk about heart break! I DID like the underwater scene, everything else - not so much

  • May 22, 2006, 1:45 p.m. CST

    im with heath on Alien ressurection

    by Darth Kal-El

    it sucks to think of the movie that might have been but the underwater scene was definetly sweet!

  • May 22, 2006, 2:02 p.m. CST

    x3

    by blackthought

    from singers x2...i was thinking...oh we are going dig deep into the dark phoenix saga thus cyke doesn&#39;t get shafted cuz you can&#39;t have one with the other...except in this movie. anyway alien ressurection is slightly better than alien vs. prederator.

  • May 22, 2006, 3:11 p.m. CST

    by a decimal point

    by The Heathen

    .

  • May 22, 2006, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Heathen that link was horrible

    by Shigeru

    GAH!! MY EYES!!!!!

  • May 22, 2006, 4:16 p.m. CST

    GAH!!!

    by blackthought

    shig&#39;s eyes!

  • May 22, 2006, 4:22 p.m. CST

    GAH!!!

    by Darth Kal-El

    Vito&#39;s Brown Eye!!

  • May 23, 2006, 1 a.m. CST

    Yes i am serious!

    by El Vale

    Alien resurrection is indeed awesome. First of all, there&#39;s the characters: Ron Perlman&#39;s always great, the guy with the dreads is so cool i wish i was him...i even like Winona as Call. Oh and there&#39;s Dominique Pinon, the best of them all. The movie looks great, the aliens look incredible, and it gets fuckeder and fuckeder as it goes. I almost threw up the first time i saw it it was so gross, how does that a bad movie make? How?!

  • May 23, 2006, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Call me crazy, but I liked Resurrection too

    by vroom socko

    Mainly because, for good or ill, it was trying to be its own thing. I actually liked it better than the remake Whedon did recently. Oh come on, they both have squirrely oddballs, cool leaders, unique asskicking babes, and hard bastards. Besides, you know that Johner would kick Jayne&#39;s ass!

  • May 23, 2006, 8:58 a.m. CST

    You are all out of your tits...

    by Shigeru

    Here&#39;s why Resurrection sucked: Winonna Ryder. in boxing gloves. trying to pick up a coffee cup. And that&#39;s saying nothing about the horribly ugly brown baby alien thing.

  • May 23, 2006, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Ipswich

    by Shigeru

    Blame it on the British being not entireley creative naming towns. You get used to it in New England. IE: I&#39;ve lived in Ipswich, Manchester, Gloucester, ect...

  • May 23, 2006, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Vroom and Vale

    by The Heathen

    Really? Huh. Even with the richocheting bullets and what Shig said about boxing gloves? Or what about calling the planet where Ripley died something different than what it was? I&#39;m pretty sure they did that. More later. *** Jack!!! Damn the Chinese!!!

  • May 23, 2006, 2:25 p.m. CST

    I have no problem with the boxing gloves

    by El Vale

    I thought it was a nice moment. The ricocheting bullets were cool too. Namming the planet where Ripley died something diffent than what it was, well it&#39;s actually news to me so i guess it&#39;s a minor detail. And the horribly ugly brown baby alien is disgusting indeed, i loved it. What a death, too. In fact, you guys are making me wanna watch it again.

  • May 23, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    goood god...THE CHINESE!!!

    by blackthought

    NEVER FORGET SHITE...i liked chloe&#39;s ex husband, the cheeky bristish bastard...and god LOGAN...finally...i wish aaron capped him though...and wednesday looms...3 HOURS OF LOST!!! and secret six #1 comes out manana.

  • May 23, 2006, 5:47 p.m. CST

    3 hours of lost?

    by Darth Kal-El

    i thought it was only 2. Sweet!

  • May 23, 2006, 7:13 p.m. CST

    i dunno...

    by blackthought

    i think one of them is like a recap episode that was shown a few weeks ago...not sure...and thats all.

  • May 23, 2006, 8:28 p.m. CST

    i hate recap shows

    by Darth Kal-El

    i hope its not the first hour. i dont know how they plan to cram 2 seasons of this very deep show into one hour! i say they give us an hour of kate,sun,and claire girl on girl goodnesss(Sorry thalya)

  • May 23, 2006, 11 p.m. CST

    darth...

    by blackthought

    the finale is two hours starting at 9 pm eastern/8 central...but prior to that they are reshowing lost: reckoning which was that recap type episode, thus the 3 hours...either way booster gold makes an appearence.

  • May 23, 2006, 11:43 p.m. CST

    AAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!

    by Psynapse

    Let me just tell you dealing with plumbing SUCKS RANCID MONKEY ASS when you own the house and HAVE to do it yourself because the shower valve busted in the same week that you paid your mortgage and insurance. This shit is fucking clown shoes man.....

  • May 24, 2006, 8:35 a.m. CST

    now I&#39;m just picturing

    by Shigeru

    a very angry Tim Roth tearing apart a bathroom swearing up a storm.

  • May 24, 2006, 10:35 a.m. CST

    no shit, Psy?

    by The Heathen

    I swear the same thing happened to our shower this past week. We also need to fix our toilet in the master bath as well. Plumbing does indeed suck

  • May 24, 2006, 11:57 a.m. CST

    that does blow psy

    by Darth Kal-El

    sorry to hear it my friend.***thanks for the lost info blackthought. i guess ill skip the recap and just watch the regular finale which should be pretty damn awesome.***anyone getting a big group totgether for X3 this friday night? im going to try to go with a big group of friends and i might &#39;logan&#39; myself up a bit.im still trying to decide if i want to be that geeky or not.***heathen please explain about evangeline on leno. i only caught the verylastpart with the pussycat dolls on stage so i missed her interview(though the dolls left me drooling)

  • May 24, 2006, 12:14 p.m. CST

    I&#39;ll only as ask once, Kal-El

    by The Heathen

    are you sure you want to know? If so, brace yourself: (SPOILERY STUFF ON EVANGELINE LILY) Well, first of all, she was wearing some bizarre dressy black overall things with heels and a t-shirt, which sound better than it looked. Her hair was also not as appealing as it usually is (check her out in the new ELLE magazine - did I just say that? Hell yeah, I did) but that I can get past, but she told a story that made me want to vomit. She said that a male friend of hers was shopping with her and that he had to go to the bathroom, but there was nowhere to go. So what does he do? He fills up some empty water bottles (for his sake, I&#39;m hoping it was the kind with the big mouth openings, you know what I&#39;m sayin?) and leaves them in the car. Evangeline says that he&#39;s very healthy, so his urine is clear. I know. And later she was cleaning out her car and saw that she had a few bottles of water left in it and she wanted to be a real health nut, so she twisted open one of the bottles and took about 5 gulps of straight up piss before she realized what it was!!!! She thought it was just stale at first, but didn&#39;t realize it until a few more gulps too late. She spit it out everywhere afterwards. Maybe she has a bukkake fetish that we don&#39;t know about? But, needless to say, it grossed me the hell out. (END SPOILERAGE OF LILY CRUSH) Now Enjoy these of her, hopefully they help, unfortunately I saw them before the story. Argghh! ** http://tinyurl.com/larza **

  • May 24, 2006, 12:42 p.m. CST

    So she drank piss

    by El Vale

    Big deal! I mean it&#39;s not like she meant to and besides, it&#39;s not like she hasn&#39;t brushed her teeth a few hundred times since then. I will always love her. You know what i think is funny? How Sawyer keeps calling her freckles but the actual freckles hardly ever register on tv.

  • May 24, 2006, 1:41 p.m. CST

    mmm...freckles...

    by Shigeru

    Pee ain&#39;t all that gross, it&#39;s mostly water. 5 gulps is a bit much, but at least she didn&#39;t chow down on a shit sandwich or something right? *** I&#39;m goin to X3 on Friday...FINGERS CROSSED. And I&#39;m hitting up Anime Boston on Saturday too, which should be... interesting......

  • May 24, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    shig v. cosplayers

    by blackthought

  • May 24, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    that is gross heathen

    by Darth Kal-El

    but im with vale and shig that its not enough of a deal breaker to make me stop lusting after her. and besides if shell swallow piss she might also swallow...other stuff. yea right like ill ever get THAT close.***sound cool shig. im actually catching x3 on friday night and heading to vegas for the long weekend on saturday morning. its going to be fun! wish all u cogs,a$$es and like minded TBers could join.***i tried to get into cosplay once but they said i dont qualify since i lost my virginity

  • May 24, 2006, 2:30 p.m. CST

    we really have been "All Week" this week

    by Darth Kal-El

  • May 24, 2006, 2:44 p.m. CST

    I said &#39;maybe&#39;

    by The Heathen

    I&#39;d still break her off a peice of the Heath Bar, but the imagery of gulping piss that had been sitting in car just turned my insides when I heard it that night. You see those pics? Nice, huh? Darth, maybe it&#39;d be 3 gulps before she realized that

  • May 24, 2006, 3:57 p.m. CST

    the heath bar?

    by Darth Kal-El

    Sweet i get to be the Yorik Peppermint pattie!

  • May 24, 2006, 4:03 p.m. CST

    X3

    by El Vale

    I&#39;m seeing it on friday with a bunch of people, only a couple of whom are X Geeks. Oh well. Anyway, Vern&#39;s review is hilarious so please read it. I pulled off a Batman Begins and read every single review i could so the movie&#39;s pretty much spoiled for me. Too much baggage.

  • May 24, 2006, 4:05 p.m. CST

    mmmm...baggage

    by blackthought

  • May 24, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Rhymes with sausage?

    by Thalya

  • May 24, 2006, 4:49 p.m. CST

    re: Rhymes with sausage?

    by The Heathen

    Tube steak? Skin flute?

  • May 24, 2006, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Yorik Peppermint Pattie!!!

    by The Heathen

  • May 24, 2006, 4:58 p.m. CST

    Tea Baggage????

    by Darth Kal-El

  • May 24, 2006, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Oh, the tea baggage!

    by The Heathen

    I feel a Jay moment coming on

  • May 31, 2006, 9:07 a.m. CST

    uh...

    by blackthought

    last baggage?

  • June 18, 2006, 9:40 p.m. CST

    How about thet-thar Civil War?

    by Fred Cheese

    I&#39;m with your female significant other while you&#39;re reading comics.