Movie News

Native Americans -vs- Vikings!! PATHFINDER Trailer On-Line!!

Published at: April 26, 2006, 9:42 p.m. CST

Merrick would've been a wussy Viking...


Many people haven’t heard of PATHFINDER yet.

Yes, it’s a damn Nissan SUV – but that’s not what we’re talking about here. It’s also a rover we sent to the Martian surface, but that’s not what we’re talking about, either.

This PATHFINDER is a new movie from director Marcus Nispel (THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE). It’s about a Viking child left behind during a raid on Native Americans. The boy is raised by these Native Americans, and ultimately must defend his new “family” when the Norsemen return.

The film stars Karl Urban (THE LORD OF THE RINGS, BOURNE SUPREMACY, DOOM), Russell Means (Chingachgook!), and Clancy Brown (Kurgan in HIGHLANDER, Rawhide in BUCKAROO BANZAI, Sergeant Zim in STARSHIP TROOPERS, as well as an amazing array of voice work).

Despite such coolness, a ++++GEEK WARNING!!!++++ must now be issued: PATHFINDER is written by Laeta Kalogridis – who scripted Oliver Stone’s self-absorbed sleaze fest ALEXANDER, and developed/Executive Produced The WB’s heinously misguided BIRDS OF PREY. This is truly unfortunate.

However, she also co-scripted NOCHNOY DOZOR (NIGHT WATCH) – which didn’t impress me at all…but I know some of you out there are hot for that film…so perhaps this will redeem Laeta in your eyes, if only just a little.

You can now check out PATHFINDER’s trailer HERE!

Looks like CONAN meets THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS, with a touch of THE 13th WARRIOR mixed in. Which, in principle, sounds pretty awesome. However, something seems "off" about this trailer (to me at least); can't quite pin it down. What do you think?


Readers Talkback

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  • April 26, 2006, 9:52 p.m. CST

    there's a lack of thor in this...thats what you can't..

    by blackthought

    pin down.

  • April 26, 2006, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Is this like Viking Quest?

    by Zufall

    Is Johnny Drama in it?

  • April 26, 2006, 9:56 p.m. CST

    by Boromir187

    Looks pretty interesting to me.

  • April 26, 2006, 9:56 p.m. CST

    by jackinitraw

    I'm in. 13th warrior had it's moments though that geek warning is a cause for concern.

  • April 26, 2006, 9:56 p.m. CST

    Looks awful.

    by Barry Egan

  • April 26, 2006, 9:57 p.m. CST

    by Boromir187

    Let's face it, a film of this type isn't in dire need of an excellent screenplay. How many of the films from Arnold Schwarzenegger's heyday that we all cherish had good screenplays?

  • April 26, 2006, 9:58 p.m. CST

    Dialouge?

    by BenFerris

    They barely let you hear actual speaking from the film, and any you hear isn't all that impresive, so I have a feeling this movie would be better as a silent film with Ingines fighting Berzerkers.

  • April 26, 2006, 9:59 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I'll see that.

    by kintar0

    What's not to like?

  • April 26, 2006, 10:02 p.m. CST

    This seems exactly like...

    by Boromir187

    a pure 80's style actionfest. And there is nothing wrong with that at all. These kinds of films definitely suit Karl Urban and I have no doubt that he will create a following if he continues in this direction. Hell, his next film, Outlander, is also set in Viking times with him starring as an intergalactic bounty hunter tracking down an alien creature that is slaughtering Vikings. Tell me that doesn't sound like an old school Arnold flick?

  • April 26, 2006, 10:05 p.m. CST

    This already was a very good movie

    by Mgmax

    Pathfinder, directed by Nils Gaup, 1987. I'm sure this will be worse.... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093668/

  • April 26, 2006, 10:07 p.m. CST

    wooooooooo OOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!

    by jaxnnux

    Wosh. COMING TO A VIDEO STORE NEAR YOU.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:07 p.m. CST

    I ordered Chingachgook at my local Tex-Mex once.

    by Vim Fuego

    Now that's good eating!

  • April 26, 2006, 10:30 p.m. CST

    Lame title. Why not Norseinjun, or Vikindian.

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    BTW, this moobie looks sheyat.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:31 p.m. CST

    VERN NEEDS TO REVIEW THIS ASAP

    by IAmLegolas

    Someone call the Vern Hot Line, now!

  • April 26, 2006, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Nobody's mentioned Clancy "The Kurgan" Brown yet.

    by IAmLegolas

    And it looks like he's playing a Viking Chieftain or something. What... did all you Talkbackers grow up on his Krusty Krabs routine? Well, back in my day.... *waves cane*

  • April 26, 2006, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Dude a lost vikings movie...

    by ALUCINOR11

    Think about it... Olaf the stout! A chubby viking! Fuck Resident evil 3 Mike Epps is in it...Does anyone see why videogame movies suck?!?!

  • April 26, 2006, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Marching band?!

    by wingman321

    Did I hear marching band drums at the end? Oh and this movie looks drop dead awful, all the shots look the same.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Was AICN wrong THEN or NOW?

    by flanaganagain

    If wrong no big deal but I thought this was about an "Predator-like-Alien" that crashes on earth and Urban the Viking must fight it. I know I saw that here and on a few other sites as I am used alot in period pieces and tried to get cast in this. This itself could be good but as a geek I wanted to see a 13th Warrior/Predator combo. Urban would have been great. Maybe they leaked the premise to throw others off their Indian vs. Viking story? Eh.... whatever! LOST is about to start. No coverage this week? It's a new one!

  • April 26, 2006, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Next up on "Cool Ideas, Poor Execution"...

    by FezMonkey

    "Pathfinder"! Man, what was with that title at the end of the trailer? All techno and 3-D for absolutely no reason. Why do Native Americans in movies always have incredible fighting skills? It's a mystery to me. Oh well. Karl Urban's pretty cool, and the vikings have a cool look to them. I just wish they were more than the soul-less killers the movie seems to be making them out to be.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Night Watch was better...

    by CrispyOne

    ...than any recent US genre film.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:48 p.m. CST

    FLANAGANAGAIN

    by Joseph Merrick

    You're thinking of OUTLANDER, Urban's *next* movie. Also an SUV title...Mitsubishi this time.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Clancy Brown swears by sonny Jesus you will all...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    visit the infirmary.

  • April 26, 2006, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Yahwn...

    by Grimjack99

    ...wake me when this movie tanks and we get it on DVD within two days of its release. Vikings as generic bad guys against the "peace loving" indians looks to have about as much pizazz and appeal as Disney's "Pocahontas."

  • April 26, 2006, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Oh, BTW...

    by Grimjack99

    ...that a viking would take a child on a raiding party is about as likely as a US soldier taking his kid to a tour of Iraq.

  • April 26, 2006, 11:03 p.m. CST

    A meets B

    by Randall Flagg

    To me, it looks like A Light In The Forest meets King Arthur divided by that crap my girlfriend uses to fertilize our side yard.

  • April 26, 2006, 11:06 p.m. CST

    NightWatch

    by halfmahalfn

    This could work if it develops a little bit of Ravenous style madbastardry. Karl Urban is from Aotearoa - so that's, uh, good in the hood. Is Pathfinder just another Galamoov? And I finally saw Night Watch the other day. Wasn't expecting much before it. Didn't get much from it. Much jerkery as far as I'm concerned. Little coherency and/or excitement. Lots a bullshit.

  • April 26, 2006, 11:13 p.m. CST

    by Boromir187

    I still think this one looks like a lot of fun

  • April 26, 2006, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Great, they finally make a Viking/Native American movie

    by Razorback

    And it is a dumb fuckin' action piece of shit that rapes history. Great job, fucktards. I think the Natives and the Vikings had a handful of battles that led to a few dozen dead.

  • April 26, 2006, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Chillpill time, stresserella.

    by halfmahalfn

    Rapes history? Woooo. Was someone's dad killled in these Native/Viking skirmishes perhaps? C'mon - dumb fuckin' action has it's place.

  • April 26, 2006, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Nispel couldn't

    by Media Fiend

    do worse than he did on the TCM remake could he?

  • April 27, 2006, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Say what you will about the TCM remake

    by godoffireinhell

    but you cannot deny it was visually stunning, one of the most beautifully filmed horror films in recent years. Now add my raging Viking fetish and I can promise I'll be all over this movie!

  • April 27, 2006, 12:56 a.m. CST

    Any movie where the White man loses is alright with me.

    by Truth0ne

    And that's reeeeeeal...

  • April 27, 2006, 1:12 a.m. CST

    Viking vs Indians!

    by Zombie Carnifex

    Great! Now we have a sub-genre! Add this to the 1978 Lee Majors epic The Norseman. I smell a double feature at my house!

  • April 27, 2006, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Birth of Captain America

    by noirsith

    That's what I was reminded about with the little white boy being left with the Indians for some odd reason but then the trailer just ended up looking like a B movie, regardless should be pointless fun.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Cool trailer!

    by Bodhizattwa

    I love the idea of a viking who's left behind. At first I thought it was a remake or reimaging of the 1987 film by Nils Gaup named Pathfinder (Ofelas), but it isn't. The ones who haven't seen Ofelas should check it out. It's truly amazing. Looking forward to seeing this new "Pathfinder" even though I don't really like Karl Urban. He lacks charisma... and acting skills. But maybe he can prove me wrong. This looks promising.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:27 a.m. CST

    Shouldn't this be on TNT or something?

    by OhDaesu

    It has a made for TV vibe to it. Doesn't look bad but it doesn't look like anything special either.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:30 a.m. CST

    that "trailer" is hilarious

    by reckni

    I was dumbfounded when I saw that last Friday, people around me were snickering, I even managed a couple laughs. Nobody is going to see it. Movies like this get made because . . .

  • April 27, 2006, 2:01 a.m. CST

    Not a fine cut...

    by nomihs

    Ya know, whoever has the job of cutting movie trailers together must be in small company. A cut for a movie like this needs to convey to the audience that they NEED TO SEE THIS DAMN MOVIE, like their very lives of their children depend on it. But then, Fox must have a specific stable of cutters who just say, "Shit man, let's not get original, let's just fucking copy about 5 other movies that came before this one and that did better at the box office than this one will." YEAH, good idea. Build off of the Mohican/Conan/Braveheart/13th War./New World films that have already been released. Cause that would make much more sense than going the route of being ORIGINAL. I am starting to get tired of reheated leftovers, I thought I would be done with that crap when I moved away from home.

  • April 27, 2006, 3 a.m. CST

    I must have bad taste--I loved the trailer

    by moondoggy2u

    It looks like I'll finally be getting a Conan the Barbarian movie. Oh, and I think we all know who should play Thor, now...

  • April 27, 2006, 3:22 a.m. CST

    Well...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...it certainly looks like it could be a couple of hours of brainless fun even if that trailer was hideously edited. People rag on The 13th Warrior (a criminally underrated flick), but it's still one of the most accurate depictions of vikings and viking life in a non-Scandinavian film. Sure, horned helmets are cool, but vikings never wore them in real life despite the popular image in our culture. They also didn't wander around in Kurgan armor with skull masks and Hyborian swords. None of this implies that it won't be a fun no-brainer, but let's not kid ourselves that this has anything but a passing resemblance to any historical authenticity.

  • April 27, 2006, 3:31 a.m. CST

    to I am Legos

    by Vern

    I'll do what I can bud. I will watch this movie. Here is the thing though. On the one hand, it's a dude fighting vikings. How do you fuck that up? On the other hand, it's directed by Marcus Nispel, who arguably should've been deported after remaking Texas Chain Saw. I mean, I am all for immigration, we are a land of immigrants, but that doesn't give that fucker the right to come to our soil and desecrate our cultural landmarks. In fact, I think Merrick needs to rewrite that GEEK WARNING. I mean how the fuck does a sane individual include "the asshole who pissed all over The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" as a fucking PLUS? There must be some mistake. This is an outrage. At any rate, the opening narration is hilarious, it could be fun.

  • April 27, 2006, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Lee Majors

    by Shropshire Slash

    Didn't the "Six Million Dollar Man" make this film in the 70's with Cornel Wilde

  • April 27, 2006, 3:38 a.m. CST

    Captain Byron T. Hadley

    by deanamatronix

    You eat when we say you eat. You shit when we say you shit. You piss when we say you piss. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker? Clancey Brown had all the best lines in that film!

  • April 27, 2006, 3:41 a.m. CST

    Tarzan and The Vikings

    by CuervoJones

    Looks good

  • April 27, 2006, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Why my opinion really matters.

    by donkeypark

    Because I find meaning in life by sitting around and waiting for somebody else to create something so I can shit all over it. Here comes my ten bucks. SCREAM IT OUT!!!

  • April 27, 2006, 3:57 a.m. CST

    The trailer looks kind of cool and kind of familiar

    by The Outlander

    This trailer looks like mix of Conan, Last of the Mohicans, Excalibur, Lord of The Rings & The Thirteenth Warrior. All of which are in my DVD collection. I'll check it out but it needs a better title if it is going to attract an audiance. And I thought The Thirteenth Warrior was a bad title.

  • April 27, 2006, 3:58 a.m. CST

    adieu, historical accuracy

    by Colonel_Blimp

    once again, the norsemen are depicted as savage brutes, and not as the sophisticated seafarers, traders and spreaders of culture that they were. not that it really bothers me, 'cause those costumes and swords looked awesome. and btw, I definetely remember reading somewhere that the young sons of viking chieftains would come along on voyages. part of the education, see. so no, it's not comparable to bringing a kid to iraq - different times, different cultures. and finally: this IS a remake of the norwegian film pathfinder/veiviseren, which was nominated for an oscar (best foreign) in yonder days. they just changed the geography and races and stuff. happens all the time. NORWEGIAN PRIDE!

  • April 27, 2006, 4:11 a.m. CST

    Colonel_Blimp

    by DocPazuzu

    Hmmm... I don't recall Aigin being a son of the Tjuders in Veiviseren or that he had been raised to fulfill a prophecy of sorts. The only similarities between these two films seem to be the name and a tenuous Norse link. Veivisaren is also about Samis and not vikings, although the "native people versus invaders" motif is essentially the same.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:13 a.m. CST

    Shoot!!! We must shoot!!!

    by donkeypark

    SCREAM IT OUT!!!

  • April 27, 2006, 4:27 a.m. CST

    paz

    by Colonel_Blimp

    fair enough. but even though the plot and setting has changed, it's still a remake. fox bought the rights to remake the norwegian film and this is the result. they said so in the first press release. as usual a lot of stuff has been americanized, but that's nothing new. when nolan remade insomnia they relocated it from northern norway to alaska (or was it canada?), which of course makes sense, and made it less nihilistic and ambigious (because that's what the yankees like, right?) still a remake.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:28 a.m. CST

    These Norse brutes sure are vicious...

    by Knugen

    especially compared to the Portugese and Spanish. Let's see how many died in Indian-Norse incursions? 100? 300? How many died as a result of Porugese/Spanish raids and colonization? 100? 300? oh wait MILLIONS! SWEDISH BALLS!

  • April 27, 2006, 4:30 a.m. CST

    Colonel Blimp

    by Bodhizattwa

    From what I can see in the trailer, it really doesn't have much in common with Gaup's film. In his film you had beautiful winder landscapes and a younger guy who was basically by himself against those thugs. In this new movie Karl Urban seems to fight together with the natives against the vikings. The only thing that resembled the -87 movie was the title...

  • April 27, 2006, 4:31 a.m. CST

    13th Warrior-ish?

    by turk128

    I'm sold. Looks cool and if it's as fun as 13th Warrior, I'm in line.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:31 a.m. CST

    here,

    by Colonel_Blimp

    http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?nid=17032 - "In theory, Pathfinder is a remake" I guess we're both kinda right.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:36 a.m. CST

    re Veiviseren

    by DocPazuzu

    There's a great Norwegian R2 double disc DVD available. As far as I can tell, that's the best version out there.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Clancy Brown was born to wear the skull helmet

    by darth jobu

    John McTiernan did a good job with 13th Warrior. I think it would have done better more as a documentary-style drama, with maps of the Volga or Swedish coastline flashing by as they travel, etc. It needed more geography and regional culture. No-one can touch Milius' Conan. The only thing this has in common is a boy grows up to use a sword. This trailer looks like Diehard crossed with Dances with Wolves, blended with Highlander, then dressed in Last of the Mohicans. To much hybrid bullshit. It'll tank. I will catch it on DVD. And yes, silly title. Again, Vikings didnt have horns on their helmets, pointing up or down.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Holy Hellfire did that look bad!

    by Lezbo Milk

    Apparently ancient America was blue. Very blue...with maybe a little grey tossed in for good measure. Also, why did it look like everything was filmed on a soundstage the size of my garage? The director and the DP or both, also must have come from the MTV arena with the lame fast/slow/zoom in shots. For God's sake, I thought after PJ made LOTR a critical and financial success, that we would start getting some kick-ass fantasy flicks. I was wrong!

  • April 27, 2006, 5:33 a.m. CST

    fuck all the haters

    by rebel299

    historically accurate or not, who gives a shit. do you really think james earl jones turned into a snake back in ancient sumeria? of course not, but conan still rules ass after all these years. not, i'm not saying this is comparable to conan in terms of quality, as it will more often that not be possibly even sub-par. however, like vern said, how do you fuck up a viking movie? jesus tittyfucking christ. vikings raising hell? over the top swordplay? clancy 'kurgan' brown? for better or worse, i'm so fucking there.

  • April 27, 2006, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Hmm that sleigh ride seems odd...

    by pax256

    Id have set this in 10-15 000 bc. Where genetics says there was some caucasians mingling with asians. Plus the incredible fauna at the time would make an awesome backdrop (yeah I know about the project by that little ID4 german director but this would be better). Big badass salutrian caucasian barbarians wielding huge stone axes vs very asian looking natives. All set to the backdrop of a 2 mile high ice cliff and sabertooth lions, giant sloths and beavers and of course mastodons...

  • April 27, 2006, 6:01 a.m. CST

    rebel299

    by DocPazuzu

    "ancient sumeria"? Dude, Conan is pure fantasy. The Pathfinder is trying to anchor itself in some kind of historical reality. I personally think it would have been more enjoyable if they removed all references to North America, Vikings and Native Americans and just billed it as a sword & sorcery flick. From appearances, nobody would be able to tell the difference. As it is, it might be quite enjoyable as a post-pubber DVD.

  • April 27, 2006, 6:50 a.m. CST

    "VICTORY!

    by brokentusk

    Sorry, Entourage flashback.

  • April 27, 2006, 7:41 a.m. CST

    pax256

    by godoffireinhell

    I'd pay to see that! Somehow I'm quite sure Ze Emmerich will fuck up his stone age flick. I want a film with mammoths, giant sloths and sabretooth tigers that isn't a Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week or a lame PG-13 wannabe "blockbuster". Bring on some Stone Age CARNAGE. That time wasn't PG-13. It was harsh. The Middle Ages were like a gay cushion fight in comparison. Now reflect that in some flicks. Get Verhoeven or someone crazy like that to direct!

  • April 27, 2006, 8:01 a.m. CST

    in other Bad Ass Viking news: HULK 2

    by future help

    HULK 2: Avi Arad Confirms Hulk 2 Villain Source: Business 2.0 Magazine April 26, 2006 Business 2.0 Magazine has published an article on Marvel Entertainment's Marvel Studios in which chief executive Avi Arad confirms the villain for Hulk 2: For that villain, Arad has chosen one of his favorite baddies: Abomination, a former Yugoslav spy who has mutated into a 980-pound freak of terrifying strength and unpleasant demeanor. "He's capable of amazing feats," Arad says, eyes gleaming. And if Arad is right and the Hulk sequel or some of Marvel's other self-made films break into blockbuster territory, people will be saying the same thing about him someday. The article also states that Captain America will not likely be the first film out of the company's financial deal with Merrill Lynch (Paramount would distribute the films): Hollywood insiders say Arad had hoped to make Captain America Marvel's debut film. But that's not happening; Arad says he couldn't line up the director he wanted until 2009. Moreover, two films Arad now says could be among those first out of the gate, the Hulk sequel and Iron Man. The Abomination, born Emil Blonsky, was a Russian spy looking for information on the secrets of gamma radiation. He found out more than he bargained for when he stood in front of a gamma ray machine and took what for Bruce Banner may have been a fatal dose of gamma radiation. You have to wonder what Emil was thinking as he stood there, He knew about the Hulk, he knew who the Hulk was, and he knew how Bruce became the Hulk. Still Emil stood there and blasted himself full of gamma radiation. Because the radiation the Abomination took was far more intense that the gamma radiation that created the Hulk he was birthed twice as strong as the Hulk. It was only through an invention of Bruce's that Abomination came to be lowered to his current Class 100 state. Since Abomination's creation he has plagued the Hulk's life. He has gone so far as to kill Betty Ross Banner, the Hulk's wife.

  • April 27, 2006, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Awful

    by Stollentroll

    Pathfinder makes Night Watch look like an effing masterpiece. BTW, Ralf Moeller's also in it. That's Maximus' dumb friend from Gladiator.

  • April 27, 2006, 8:34 a.m. CST

    It's Ewoks Vs. Stormtroopers, part II

    by c4andmore

    or maybe not, some parts looked good, some cheap as hell (shield sleigh ride), others just looked meh, it might be good for a matinee though.

  • April 27, 2006, 8:35 a.m. CST

    by syco

  • April 27, 2006, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Leif Eriksson and Skraelings

    by DannyOcean01

    On Leif Eriksson's travels he had encounters with the Natives, calling them rather offensively, Skraelings. Looks to like this is a take of that. Shame it's doesn't look like it's going to delve a little deeper into the interesting history behind the Vikings beating Columbus et al to America. Always been interested in that part of history, esp. the Beothuk of Newfoundland..and the Viking settlement at L'Anse Aux Meadows. Well done Hollywood if this is all the film has to offer..and yes, go take a look at the original, a far better film by the looks of it.

  • April 27, 2006, 9 a.m. CST

    Merrick, the thing you can't put your finger on...

    by brycemonkey

    With the hair, swords and then that 'sleigh ride'... it's WILLOW! Your brain is uneasy as no 'liitle people' were shown. Case solved.

  • April 27, 2006, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Oh, one more thing...

    by brycemonkey

    how carless is it to A) Take a kid on a raid to kill Indians. B) Leave him there?!? Band parenting all round...

  • April 27, 2006, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Why are there horses?

    by theoneofblood

    Can anyone explain this to me? Vikings didn't use cavalry. This is part of the reason that William the Conquerer kicked Harold's ass. Also, Karl Urban is a terrible actor and I'm ashamed he comes from my country. Forgive us! We also gave you Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce and Naomie Watts!

  • April 27, 2006, 9:05 a.m. CST

    I mean Naomi! Dammit!

    by theoneofblood

    When will AICN install an "edit" button?

  • April 27, 2006, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Oh and Another thing...

    by brycemonkey

    Karl Urban has face warts. FACE WARTS!!! Seriously though, I'll watch this just cos big sword fights + Clancy Brown = can't go wrong.

  • April 27, 2006, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Beowulf and Grendel

    by Veraxus

    Looks like it has potential... but only potential. That is, I see a couple areas that, if neglected, will absolutely suck. First, the whole "prophecy" bit. Audiences (and readers) don't buy it... especially if it's stretched out into a bigger film theam. My other big concern is this looks like it has PG13 written all over it - and with a theme as primal as Vikings vs Natives, audiences everywhere are going to expect blood, gore, and severed limbs a-plenty. A shitty script (the prophesy is fullfilled, durr) + PG13 = box office DEATH. On the other hand, why aren't we hearing more about Sturla Gunnarsson's wonderful "Beowulf and Grendel?" The trailer on the official website looks fucking awesome (www.beowulfandgrendel.com) - unless, of course, it gets censored up before it's US release.

  • April 27, 2006, 10:11 a.m. CST

    "Run, and you may live. Fight, and you'll die"

    by Atticus Finch

    Isn't that line lifted pretty much word for word from Braveheart? Sorry if already mentioned...I can't read the TB.

  • April 27, 2006, 10:22 a.m. CST

    LOL

    by Purgatori

    OH my god...that was hillarious. Nice fake sled background. "There can be only one....I mean...wait...uh..They can take our land but they'll never take our free, uhm.. Shit..what was my line?" The only thing that remotely interests me is that Clancy Brown might be all decked out looking all Kurgan. But even that can only motivate me so far.

  • April 27, 2006, 11:03 a.m. CST

    My love for you is like a truck, Berserker...

    by brycemonkey

    Would you like some making fuck, Berserker! What? It's releveant. Just. ;-)

  • April 27, 2006, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Check Out The First Viking "Pathfinder" Flick

    by CaptDanielRoe

    Directed on a Finnish shoestring by Nils Gaup in 1987. No it's not on DVD, so you can't actually. Too bad, so sad. But it was pretty intense for an arthouse flick of the period. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093668/

  • April 27, 2006, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Dances with Vikings

    by Shaner Jedi

    Great, another movie about the eeevvviiilll white man.

  • April 27, 2006, 11:32 a.m. CST

    they shouldn't have used english

    by butnugget

    I always think that it would help the authenticity if they used the actual languages and used subtitles. Or how about doing this without language altogether?

  • April 27, 2006, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Shaner

    by CaptDanielRoe

    It may be a movie about the "Evil White Man," but it's also yet another movie where a white man important into a different culture becomes, by default, the greatest exemplar of that culture that ever lived in prowess and convictions. See also Tarzan, Last of the Mohicans (He's white), Last Samurai, Dances With Wolves, and so many other movies I can't even recall them. So the anti-white-culture villification is balanced out by the reassurance that any given white guy, given between six months samurai training or a lifetime eating acorns, can do what the entire rest of the tribe could not.

  • April 27, 2006, 11:59 a.m. CST

    ALEXANDER wasn't nearly sleazy enough!!!

    by godoffireinhell

    There was no hot'n'heavy, sweaty, gyrating buttocks man-sex in it! Not even a single scene of Alex tonguing down Hephaistion! WTF? People say it failed at the box office because of "teh ghey" but actually I think it wasn't remotely homosexual (or bisexual if you will) enough. Maybe the two dreamy man-hugs alienated a few teenies but every competitive sport has more hugs and ass-slapping than ALEXANDER would have ever dared to show. For shame. I still liked it, though. A whole lot.

  • April 27, 2006, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Why is the Native American hero white?

    by Darksider

    And where the hell is Clancy Brown? The Vikings looked pretty badass.

  • April 27, 2006, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Pathfinder AKA Braveheart 2

    by shonin

    A good idea for a movie, up until the stupid crap about leaving a boy behind who then becomes the ultimate tough guy warrior. Could have been great but seems to much like a Braveheart rip off, it even has some of the same lines "run and you will live, stay and you will die", and the famous shot of a sword hitting the ground with a little wobble. Not sure about casting Karl Urban in the lead role either, he's not Viking enough (hair too dark for a start). Shame, I was hoping for something quality but it seems very PG13 if the trailer is anything to go by, and I wish film makers would quit with the FUCKING SLO-MO!!!!!!! Full speed sword fights are awesome, deadly and sometimes even believable, but all this slo-mo ruins the danger. Leave slo-mo to the people that know how to use it best, like Hong Kong and Thai movies. Laters.

  • April 27, 2006, 12:39 p.m. CST

    CaptDanielRoe

    by Colonel_Blimp

    The first Pathfinder wasnt Finnish, it was Norwegian! I know I'm nitpicking, but norwegian movies dont get a lot of press or praise internationally, so it means a lot to me to keep the facts straight on this one.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Blimp

    by Bodhizattwa

    Hey! The original movie was Lappish, right?

  • April 27, 2006, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Also, CaptDanielRoe...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...it IS on DVD -- in Norway (a great 2-disc set) and Germany, which is great unless you don't understand Sami and can't read Norwegian or German subtitles. It's a favorite of mine. I actually have the original movie poster framed, even if it is the Swedish and not the Norwegian one.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:23 p.m. CST

    I just watched...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...that Beowulf & Grendel trailer. It looks fantastic. It's ironic that a movie based on what's essentially an epic fairy tale looks much more believable and historically accurate than that blue-tinged, slo-mo cine-fuck supposedly based in an historical setting.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Needs more pirates. And ninjas.

    by fitzcarraldo2

    Native Americans vs Vikings vs Pirates vs Ninjas. I'd watch it. Someone already mentioned, this is an excellent little film from about 20 years ago filmed in Lappland about a boy who sees his family slaughtered by a tribe of barbarians and takes them out. Obscure but cool.

  • April 27, 2006, 1:49 p.m. CST

    bodhi,

    by Colonel_Blimp

    the language was lappish, yes, but lapland isn't a country, it's a region covering the northern parts of norway, sweden and finland (and russia, though im not sure about that one). still, veiviseren is cited as a norwegian film on imdb, norway was the country nominated for the oscar, and most of the cast and crew were norwegians, including the director and producer and main star (mikkel gaup, the director's son). so it is a norwegian film in lappish.

  • April 27, 2006, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I swear I thought this film was a mockumentary

    by beamish13

    That incredibly annoying "making of PATHFINDER" thing is playing at AMC cinemas

  • April 27, 2006, 2:07 p.m. CST

    bodhi

    by DocPazuzu

    Also, the languages spoken by the Samis in the different countries are different. There isn't one single Sami language. Thus, the language spoken in Veivisaren is NORWEGIAN Sami.

  • April 27, 2006, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Indeed a remake...

    by Eric79

    ...so by all means, seek out the original, it's out there: http://www.dvdhuset.no/filmer/veiviseren_2_disc_l.jpg Gaup, incidentally, is working on another, similar film due out in a year or two.

  • April 27, 2006, 2:27 p.m. CST

    thank you doctor,

    by Colonel_Blimp

    i wasn't aware of that.

  • April 27, 2006, 2:41 p.m. CST

    I think Braveheart does have basis for a lawsuit.

    by Lezbo Milk

    I mean that last shot was a direct and blatant rip-off of the last shot of the Bravehart trailer. And some of the dialog was near word for word. Other than that, it doesn't look like this film is worthy of washing William Wallaces dirty underwear. Oh wait, he wore a kilt and went commando...never mind.

  • April 27, 2006, 3:29 p.m. CST

    I used to write dialogue for Clancy Brown

    by ScienceMan

  • April 27, 2006, 3:31 p.m. CST

    I used to write dialogue for Clancy Brown

    by ScienceMan

    and got to attend recording session with him in which he declared, between takes, that, and I quote, "You know, Pam Grier drinks her own piss." To this day I have been mystified by his ominous words. Jackie Brown!

  • April 27, 2006, 3:34 p.m. CST

    ScienceMan

    by DocPazuzu

    Thanks, man. You just ruined Coffy for me for the rest of my life.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Viking vs. Redskins

    by deadguy76

    Come on, you know you saw it coming. Anywho, I watch too many Bugs Bunny cartoons.

  • April 27, 2006, 4:38 p.m. CST

    where did the horses come from

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    were there horses in north america 1000 yrs ago - and if the vikings brought their swith them - where did they fit in their longships - this movie does look cool though - based on the trailer - very "frazetta"

  • April 27, 2006, 5 p.m. CST

    Ahh, Been A Long Time Since I Say Pathfinder

    by CaptDanielRoe

    I saw it in the theatre in it's original limited art-house stateside run. As it concerns Lapps (in plot if not, as I now seem to recall, in casting), I thought: Finland. Yeah it was a very nicely put together flick. One of two movies I went to see with a certain young lady. The other being "Fire Walk With Me," she sort of lost interest. She's not a shallow girl but just didn't quite seem to need that in her life.

  • April 27, 2006, 5:17 p.m. CST

    JimmyJoeRedsky...

    by CaptDanielRoe

    ...In 982 the Icelandic Althing decreed that henceforth no further horses could be imported to Iceland. The ones that were there, obviously, were transported by longship. As to where they went... The middle. Nobody said being a viking or a viking horse was easy. But remember that longships were, well, long. What you usually see photos of are knarr-sized replicas I guess. The longest longship found, the Roskilde, was 115 feet long. 75 and down would be more common; in any case, while lacking multiple decks, the ships were comparable in length to those of Columbus' time. Room enough for horses.

  • April 27, 2006, 8:47 p.m. CST

    A much bigger Geek Warning is the director

    by zikade zarathos

    TEXAS remake was pure shite.

  • April 27, 2006, 10:29 p.m. CST

    CROM!!!

    by Buck Turgidson

    I kept thinking this was going to be one of those "turn off your cell phone" ads they show before movies.

  • April 28, 2006, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Nispel is a corny guy

    by bunkyboo

    and is big on visuals but always over the top and cold with drama. Still has that music video "match the tear sheets" approach. This will miss the mark-us:-))))

  • April 28, 2006, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Dances with Vikings

    by SPACEHUNTER3-D

    Sometimes I wish everyone in Hollywood would just commit collective suicide.

  • April 28, 2006, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Norsemen or Orcs?

    by Kielland

    Oh my god, this looks horrible. The Norsemen look like a mixture of Orc and Bear. Did they even do a minimum amount of research on this? This is a travesty and a total misrepresentation of the Norse EXPLORATION of America.

  • April 28, 2006, 7:05 a.m. CST

    misrepresentation

    by Bodhizattwa

    "The Norsemen look like a mixture of Orc and Bear." Perhaps it's a subjective point of view. I bet they looked monstrous in the eyes of the natives.

  • April 28, 2006, 7:07 a.m. CST

    I think this looks cool!

    by Teamwak

    So Say We All

  • April 28, 2006, 8:14 a.m. CST

    I'll tell you what's off...

    by truebeliever1023

    it's the obvious plagiary. "Fight and you may die. Run and you will live." Anyone else strangely hear that line from the trailer in a bad Scottish accent? How about the shot of the sword being tossed to close the trailer? All we need is that awesome character actor with the giant scar across his face and a Mel Gibson mooning to complete the cycle.

  • April 28, 2006, 8:34 a.m. CST

    anchorite

    by DocPazuzu

    Yes, I loved the trailer. Doesn't mean the movie won't suck, though. However, what it has going for it is historically accurate production design and location shooting in Iceland as well as good actors. Grendel is a troll. Trolls are traditionally not meant to look like something out of Ridley Scott's Legend or the D&D Monster Manual. As for the dragon, if it's not in the film it won't bother me in the least as it's the aspect I'm least interested in seeing. But then again, I loved The 13th Warrior so what do I know?

  • April 28, 2006, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Norsemen vs Viking vs Orc

    by Kielland

    "Perhaps it's a subjective point of view. I bet they looked monstrous in the eyes of the natives." Why? The Norse explorers of Greenland and America weren't Vikings (and not even Vikings looked even remotely like that). They didn't come to rape and pillage. They would look something like this: http://www.iww.is/yellowpages/myndir/ji_sogusafnid0453_450.jpg According to the sagas the initial contact was peaceful trading. This film is Hollywood travesty.

  • April 28, 2006, 9:19 a.m. CST

    So, Merrick, when is Urban's Navigator coming out?

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Or is he sticking with Japanese models only?

  • April 28, 2006, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Vikings Didn't Have Horned Helmets!

    by Harker-Writes

    It's a myth. Just thought I'd point that out in case any dumbass scriptwriters were thinking of making another terrible Viking movie.

  • April 28, 2006, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Right, truebeliever.

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Native: "The vikings are coming! What are we gonna do?" Karl: "We're gonna need woad. Lots of woad."

  • April 28, 2006, 9:53 a.m. CST

    No, the vikings did not have horned helmets...

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    But other than that the movie's got it right. They wore skull masks like that guy from Willow. And they had these clips of ninja stars attached to their forearms that they shot at people, and rode ligers into battle, bred for their skills in magic. Another little known fact: They invented the steam engine and the paper clip. In any case, I will probably see this anyway someday just because I've a soft spot for historical action movies.

  • April 28, 2006, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Atticus Finch - and more shameless ripoffs!!

    by Cat_Corporation

    Yes, that 'run and you'll live' line is taken from Braveheart, although they've cunningly reversed it (jeez, am I a geek). I also spotted a few other sly thefts too - the sword dropping into the ground at the end was also nicked from Braveheart, while the 2006 AD skit was nicked from the Gladiator trailer. Somebody call the cops!! Actually, this looks terrible - while I am a historian / film nut, I am able to switch off the former when I'm at the flicks, for the most part. But NO to horned helmets!!! They didn't have 'em dammit!!! GARRRRR!!!! It's a great subject for a movie, but this looks like real bargain basement shite. Give us a decent Viking movie - the 13th Warrior was OK, and at least had some Scandinavian actors, but it should have been better (although I'm very fond of it). Let's hope the Beowulf and Grendel thing works out.

  • April 28, 2006, 11:30 a.m. CST

    The Vikings Invented The Comb

    by CaptDanielRoe

    They were incredibly concerned with their physical appearance and failed to take hold in North America because they would not, for example, abandon their euro cloth clothing for more practical furs that indigenous people war. So horned helmets aside (and those are mentioned in contemporary texts if not supported in artifacts) these look off the mark. Footnote about the horns: I think that as with the winged helmets, what was done was attach actual horns and wings to the metal helmets, rather than forge them of the same metal onto the helmet. That largely explains why they are not found. Also, it explains why Vikings might wear them: They would break off if a sword caught them, rather than giving a viking whiplash.

  • April 28, 2006, 11:38 a.m. CST

    You know something...

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    I did actually like the viking costume design, just not for an actual viking movie. I believe it was the good doctor mentioned this should have been a sword and sorcery picture a la Conan instead.

  • April 28, 2006, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Just watched the Beowulf & Grendel trailer...

    by Cat_Corporation

    Hmmmm...well...not sure about that one. Kudos for the Scandinavian SUPPORTING actors, but why put Gerard Butler (who I do have a bit of time for) in the lead role? Surely find a large strapping Norse bloke! And what's with the dodgy hair-dye jobs? Sarah Polley looks like Kurt Cobain in his questionable 'magenta' period! Oh well, let's wait for this weird motion-cap version instead then.

  • April 28, 2006, 12:16 p.m. CST

    anchorite

    by DocPazuzu

    The film is obviously trying to create a plausible "true" story of what happened which later became the basis for the poem, much like The 13th Warrior, but a lot closer to what ultimately became the legend. As such, it looks like it's doing a sterling job. Having a huge sub/demi/quasi-human as a troll/monster/creature works just fine for me. You'll get your monster lust satiated by the mocap version, I'm sure. If not, there's always the Christopher Lambert version.

  • April 28, 2006, 12:18 p.m. CST

    An interesting read, anchorite...

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    I'm fascinated by that kind of cryptozoology thing even if Creation science makes me want to beat my head against something dense. (it takes away the pain, temporarily).

  • April 28, 2006, 12:19 p.m. CST

    As for your link, anchorite...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I wouldn't trust a Creationist as an authority on anything.

  • April 28, 2006, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Jesus...

    by DocPazuzu

    "In all, a comprehensive and somewhat horrifying picture of Grendel emerges from the pages of Beowulf, and I doubt that the reader needs to be guided by me as to which particular species of predatory dinosaur the details of his physical description fit best." ...... Oh, please...

  • April 28, 2006, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Eaters of Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    On shelves March 2008.

  • April 28, 2006, 3 p.m. CST

    You're Right Anchorite

    by CaptDanielRoe

    In my version Grendel will plague the Hollywood Hills and eat people who don't respect source material. And when Beowulf shows up, he will help Grendel. It will be a buddy flick.

  • April 28, 2006, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Grendel 's pedigree

    by Ingeld

    Grendel has a dual heritage that reflects the pagan and Christian synthesis of the poem. He is the kin of Cain--as in Cain and Abel and he is also called an "ent" a giant (frost giant) and "aglaeca" monster or demon. His actions parallel trolls found in Icelandic sagas. With Grendel you get two kinds of monsters for the price of one. Wes thu hal!

  • April 28, 2006, 9:22 p.m. CST

    wow, anchorite, vikings

    by ectocriminal

    blast from the past for me, where douglas gets his eye ripped out by a bird. pathfinder will be terrible and i will see it out of curiousity. ingeld give props to seamus heaney before you paraphrase him...the man did a service to the history of the beowulf poem with his new translation and his analysis. we'll never know about the roiginal version and heaney's telling is somewhat more approachable by not lit types and he's made a classic story mopre accessible, which is what i think all the changes to beowulf (from pagan to christian to heaney's update) have always been about.

  • April 30, 2006, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Seeing a test screening tomorrow. I'll let you all know

    by Lenny Nero

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