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Grisly Machete Violence!! Herc's Seen (Most Of) The First New SURVIVOR Since March 9!!

I am – Hercules!!

10 survivors remain, and things are heating up in tonight’s excellent “Survivor” installment!

Four-member La Mina, devastated by the loss of Astronaut Dan, get some bad news at the top of tonight’s episode. They’re to paddle over to the six-member Casaya tribe and merge. La Mina outsider Sally, returning soon after from Exile Island, joins the new tribe soon after. Handsome new black buffs are issued.

At a numbers disadvantage, La Mina pilot Terry lobbies hard to bring one of the Casaya into an alliance with his fellow La Minans. A key target is karate teacher Bruce, who still feels much the outsider in a fearful tribe cigarette-junkie Shane continues to rule.

Terry, long the La Mina leader, is quickly identified as the next target by the Casayans, who believe the graying flyboy did not find the Exile Island Immunity Thingie (or EIIT).

Things get so ugly, a machete blow of great force will slice deeply into contestant flesh!

The immunity challenge turns out to be a simple endurance test, requiring the castaways to hang from elevated logs like so much drying laundry. To no one’s astonishment, leaf-fearing Cirie is the first to drop. Then another La Minan. The machete victim is third to fall. Nicotine-addicted Shane lobbies Jeff Probst for snack-bribes, but none are forthcoming.

CBS again snipped the last few minutes out of the screener, so I couldn’t tell you who gets the boot this week – even if I wanted to.

8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.









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Readers Talkback
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  • March 30, 2006, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Geez, what's the point of watching this now Herc?

    by Photoman

    You just gave us the entire episode, so what's the incentive to even watch this now? To find out who got voted off? We can just go to the web site and see that. Also, I can't stand Shane and I think he's a total and complete asshole. So naturally I want him to be the sole survivor. Of course, Danielle is just perfect to be in a Playboy pictorial.

  • March 30, 2006, 7:36 a.m. CST

    they need a Mori, or a Merrick for the tv section...

    by darth wayne

    kinda badly. Herc has his peculiar tastes, and it seems the world begins and ends for him with those. The best show on television (Der Shield) goes unrecognized and unchampioned, launches of major new series (like Thief) slip by uncommented, and key shows with fanbase crossover to the target demos on this site are ignored......but f'ing Survivor got a talkback, Woop de f'ing do.

  • March 30, 2006, 7:40 a.m. CST

    credit where it's due, Herc...

    by darth wayne

    you were the first person I ever heard about Carnivale from. You got that show on my radar, and for that I'm eternally in your debt. I just wish you'd broaden your view of tv worth discussing...

  • March 30, 2006, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Survivor Talkback

    by SeptemberDay

    I agree more talkbacks on different shows would be welcome. But don't get rid of the Survivor talkback. Most times, it's the only way I remember when it's on.

  • March 30, 2006, 8:54 a.m. CST

    I like the Survivor TB, but agree there could be more

    by jim

    Then extend Coaxial all the way down the page so the new stories don't force out the old ones as quickly. *** I did not understand why they showed who found the immunity idol. To have it revealed only after the votes had been read would have been a great moment. But since we all know who has it I can only conclude that it never comes into play (keeper of the idol will be in the final 3, mark my words). *** Did anyone else notice near the end of the episode when Dan was voted off they were playing the music from The Right Stuff (or music very similar to)? *** Looks like the injured castaway comes back. Since the ads said the person "could be forced from the game" I assumed they weren't. If they were the promos would have been less vague and more dramatic (like when Mike the Keeper of the Flame fell into the fire).

  • March 30, 2006, 10:28 a.m. CST

    To hell with these god damned.....

    by Jimmy Jazz

    glorified game shows! The so-called "Reality Show" format is the laziest, most creatively bankrupt blight to hit this medium, which never had a shortage of crap. For this garbage to even be acknowledged on this site is insulting. Did you forget that there was a new Veronica Mars episode last night? Maybe you were too busy watching AMerican Asshat Karaoke. The only "Survivor" I want to see is one which involves live ammunition and has EVERYONE (contestants, producers, the network monkeys that greenlights this crap) from ALL these shows picking each other off. After they are all dead, a hit squad goes after the brain-dead droolers that watch this horseshit. THAT'S the only "reality" worth watching.

  • March 30, 2006, 10:56 a.m. CST

    bitch, bitch, bitch...

    by Lewbowski

    stop bitching you haters. im sorry, but survivor just doesnt get old. a little too many alpha males this time around but you can always keep watching for the hot chicks. hippie courtney and sally.. eeewwee! and i cant wait to see these alliances crumble after the merge...

  • March 30, 2006, 11:52 a.m. CST

    How come now Ghosthunters Talkback???

    by Orionsangels

    We get crappy battlestar galactic talkbacks though. Ghosthunters is compelling TV, no matter whether you think its real or fake. I like the stories that each invstigation has or when they stay up all night going over the evidence. It's good TV! Who at AICN decides oh battlestar galactic, doctor who. those should get talkbacks, but not this show?

  • March 30, 2006, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I still like it

    by Acappellaman

    I still find Survivor to be fun to watch. I don't know where all the hate comes from. It's decent, if not excellent, TV. No, it doesn't beat out LOST or The Jack Bauer Power Hour, but it's still fun.

  • March 30, 2006, 11:53 a.m. CST

    NO!!!

    by Orionsangels

    Damn it, see i was so angry and nervous i typed now muthafuckers

  • March 30, 2006, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Lewbowski

    by Orionsangels

    I haven't watched survivor since the first season. i lost interest after that. nothing will be better than the original cast. i'm sick of shows on islands

  • March 30, 2006, 11:57 a.m. CST

    While we're at it, enough doctor & forensic shows!

    by Orionsangels

    Why is primetime full of these depressing shows, murder, bones, autoposies. gross! We need more comedy and sex on primetime. who watches these shows? has america become that glib?

  • March 30, 2006, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Isn't this why Herc invented invisotext?

    by nalapou

    WTF would he openly spoil the whole show?

  • March 30, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Thief, it was ok.

    by Shermdawg

    Not great. It&#39;s a shame they didn&#39;t bring back Over There instead. Oh well. And DAMMIT they killed Dina Meyer&#39;s fine ass off in the first freaking episode. DAMMIT!!! >_<

  • March 30, 2006, 12:44 p.m. CST

    I like the reward challenge with the...

    by StudioPlant69

    SNAKES ON A PLANE!!! ...GFY

  • March 30, 2006, 1:17 p.m. CST

    A Survivor Talkback, Herc ?

    by Toby___Wong

    How come this crap gets a talkback and the Shield doesn&#39;t, Herc ? Reality tv is the poison in tv land.

  • March 30, 2006, 1:32 p.m. CST

    If we had a Veronica Mars talkback last night...

    by paulh

    We could have had fun with Kristen Bell&#39;s ballsy diss of how Edie Falco keeps winning Emmys that should to go Jennifer Garner in the wig shop halfway through the episode. Dead-on, classic stuff. After getting jobbed last year, Emmy had that one coming.

  • March 30, 2006, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Reality TV....

    by paulh

    Another thing we can DYR!!!!!!! about, yes? :)

  • March 30, 2006, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Naked flesh

    by dicbeaks

    Is that girl with the big tits still on the show? She was the only one worth watching.

  • March 30, 2006, 4:12 p.m. CST

    I guess..

    by Symposium

    ... you had to delete my post herc because the truth hurts doesnt it bitch.

  • March 30, 2006, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Anyone else watch The Evidence last night?

    by jim

    I don&#39;t think it is getting any better. The show is just too dumbed-down. Every time we saw the baseball bat we got a flashback to the shot of it on the evidence table covered in blood. It happened when we first saw the guy holding it and each time after that, including when he grabs it as he is about to start wailing on that other dude. Of course the bat did not figure-in at all into the case they were investigating so how was it a piece of the evidence? It had nothing to do with the murder. At least last week&#39;s severed finger was used to compare cuts so they knew the knife used to cut off the finger was the same one used in the murder. Apparently Orlando Jones&#39; character is like Wolverine. His hand is now all better.

  • March 30, 2006, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Testify, JimmyJazz...

    by paulh

    American Asshat Karaoke...lmfao :D

  • March 30, 2006, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Good episode

    by Tocksick

    I like this season of Survivor. Its the first time I&#39;ve fully watched a season since Survivor Thailand a few years ago. But I don&#39;t get why Teri would try to get immunity. They could&#39;ve voted one of the other tribe members off since he has the idol. Then after that all they&#39;d need is Bruce&#39;s vote and then they&#39;d be the majority.

  • March 30, 2006, 8:55 p.m. CST

    So where was this big medical emergency?

    by antibody

    3 weeks ago we were told there was going to be a big medical emergency. The previews showed them medivacking someone away. So Bruce gets a cut on his lip --- big deal. Talk about false advertising!

  • March 30, 2006, 10:14 p.m. CST

    by Inkmachine

    I agree...where the hell is the medical emergency????

  • March 30, 2006, 10:31 p.m. CST

    False Emergency?

    by Tocksick

    Haha, that is kind of funny now that I think about it. I forget specifically what they said but they implied that someone was so injured that they might have to drop out of the game. All that over a friggin cut lip. Sure it was cut with a big knife and it chipped a tooth, but don&#39;t tease us with a "Michael from Survivor Outback"-style injury.

  • March 30, 2006, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Yeah...I really hate Mark Burnett advertising....

    by Mahaloth

    Remember when the Apprentice ad said Brent would take it Way WaY Way too far? He never did.

  • March 31, 2006, 8:36 a.m. CST

    I am getting pissed at the way they are

    by jim

    overhyping this season of Survivor. Has it always been this bad? The episode when Dan was voted out was hyped as "a Tribal Council unlike any you have ever seen before". I was expecting Shane to get the boot and go beserk, or something like that. What we got was Dan taking the blame for losing the challenge and everyone agreeing and voting him out. How was it unlike any we have seen before? What was unique? For 3 weeks they have been advertising last night&#39;s episode as something happening which "could force a player from the game" and showed someone being carried away in a stretcher at night and taken off the island in a boat. Bruce&#39;s injury was a chipped tooth and cut lip. And the stretcher shots never appeared in the episode. I missed the preview for next week. If someone doesn&#39;t get taken away in a stretcher soon, or if Sally gets voted out, I may be done with this show.

  • March 31, 2006, 8:54 a.m. CST

    I know it&#39;s probably mostly editing

    by jim

    but Terry came across as an idiot last night. He has an alliance of four. He is trying to get one or two people to leave their alliance and join his. So he goes after who he thinks are the #5 & #6 people in the alliance of 6. But if they join him, they will still be the #5 & #6 members of a 6 person alliance. Flipping at that point does nothing for anyone. His only hope is to now convince Bruce to become #4 in his alliance. Then lose immunity to someone else in his group. Make himself a target. Then get his people to vote for who they think the biggest threat on the 5 person alliance is and, with the immunity idol, send that person home. After that the alliances are even. But since they have told us who has the immunity idol I still believe that it never comes into play (other than Terry using it as a barganing chip).

  • March 31, 2006, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Medical Emergancy my ass !

    by pumaman

    last weeks preview for last nights episode showed someoen being stretchered away in a hurry. But no.. What do we get - Mr Miyagi&#39;s tooth gets chipped by a lanky pretentious philosipher weilding a Machete.

  • March 31, 2006, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Thank God Big JIM!!!

    by slyde

    I thought i was the only one who realized that Terry just fucked himself and his whole team by not throwing the immunity challenge. Shane would have been gone this morning, instead of nick. Visit Slydesblog.com

  • March 31, 2006, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Even if Terry had used the idol...

    by Elmore Rigby

    and Shane was voted off, the numbers advantage would still be 5-4 for the a-holes. Terry did the smart thing by saving the idol, and next week it looks like he has to give it away in order to ensure he stays in the game even longer.

  • March 31, 2006, 12:41 p.m. CST

    I&#39;ll have to see next week&#39;s episode...

    by mbeemer

    ... to see if Terry is an idiot or a genius. Someone in alt.tv.survivor suggested that Terry might be just as happy for the stronger members of his team to get picked off so he doesn&#39;t have to contend with them later. If he&#39;s thinking that far ahead and he has a plan, my hat&#39;s off to him. I&#39;ll need to see the evidence, though.

  • March 31, 2006, 1:37 p.m. CST

    You may be right, Elmore

    by slyde

    But i still think he should have not won the challenge. His team would have another 3 days to try to convert one of shane&#39;s squad, and i think that without shane whipping them into a frenzy all the time, it could have been done. visit slydesblog.com

  • March 31, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    I don&#39;t get it..

    by BitchNig

    How would Teri throwing the immunity challenge have guaranteed Shane would be the next one out. If Teri loses, the other team votes for him, he pulls out the idol, everyone revotes, only now the team in the majority votes for someone else on the minority team, not Shane. The Teri&#39;s screewed, cause his&#39;s just given away his "get out of jail" card. Why do you assume that Shane would be voted out - am I missing something.

  • March 31, 2006, 3:11 p.m. CST

    The don&#39;t revote

    by jim

    Let&#39;s say Terry has the most votes and is basically "voted out". He can then whip out the immunity idol and save his skin. He stays and the person who had the next highest number of votes is the one who is out. In theory it means that someone could have only one vote against them and be the one who goes home. It would have been a very surprising moment if we did not know who has the idol (kind of like last year when Gary used it, but better because not only does it save someone but someone else who didn&#39;t expect it gets voted out). The best Tribal Councils are the ones where somone gets blindsided. I am hoping that&#39;s how Shane goes to see if he freaks out.

  • March 31, 2006, 3:24 p.m. CST

    BitchNig

    by Razz Matazz

    If the person with the immunity idol has the majority of votes...the one who gets voted off is the person with NEXT largest amount of votes. They DO NOT re-vote. P.S. Your name is pretty racist...you fucktard hillbilly! Make sure you wear a condom when you fuck your sister on prom night - that way there will be fewer dicks in this world like YOU! P.P.S. I hope I cleared things up about Survivor. :)

  • March 31, 2006, 6:25 p.m. CST

    was about to clarify

    by slyde

    but i see some other already did. :) thanks guys! Visit www.slydesblog.com

  • March 31, 2006, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Yes, Terry is the biggest idiot since Lex.

    by Shermdawg

    What he should have done, was tell Nick to cause a big stink, or tell the other to flat out vote him out because he has had enough of the game and does not want stick around when its obvious they will get picked off. And if he was to do that, he would get the hidden immunity. So at tribal, Nick gets six votes, Shane four. Nick reveals he&#39;s got the idol. Shane is flabbergasted, but not dissapointed and throws his torch at Jeff and runs off to a carton of smokes. Which leaves a 5-4 tribe. Most would think Bruce would be the one they would try to flip, but THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN. Nope, since Shane would be gone, he really would be the leader, or he would believe he was, and since he seems like a honorable guy, he wouldn&#39;t go back on his word. So who would flip? Or who would Terry want to flip? Not the young guy, not the annoying hippy chick, no, it comes down to Syree, and the brunette. And it&#39;s a toss up between those two.

  • April 2, 2006, 8:16 a.m. CST

    I miss Bobby John, the slow-witted hillbilly retard

    by Mike Nesmith

    Southern Pride has never been more hilarious!