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Massawyrm Wishes ICE AGE : THE MELTDOWN Was Extinct!!

But, Merrick likes sloths (slothes?)...


Massawyrm sent in his review of ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN.

I saw this film Saturday morning. While I don't share Massa's overall disdain for the movie, I'd definitely agree that it has quite a few problems.

Given that it's from the same species as ill-considered, artistically stunted CGI tripe like MADAGASCAR and DOOBIE...DINGLEBERRY...I mean DOOGAL, one's expectations can't be too high. None the less, the little ones were squirming by the end of this screening. Squirming noisily. THE MELTDOWN failed to hold their attention, and it didn't hold mine.

The two biggest problems I had with it were its scattershot approach (it feels like a mismatched pastiche of sequences that never really congeal into a unified whole), and how incredibly safe it is. I'm all for family entertainment...but this is like a lobotomized counselor's interpretation of "family entertainment". Anything remotely resembling edge has been abolished...it's just plain flat.

I did laugh a few times, when moments of cleverness illustrated what the whole film could easily have been. But these moments were also a slap in the face – like dangling a cookie just out of reach. Within a few hours of the screening, I'd already forgotten the details I wanted to discuss in my review. It's that bland.

With such amazing CGI technologies, any kind of story can be realized - in any way imaginable. But, why do so few filmmakers (Zemekis - the creepiness of POLAR EXPRESS aside, and Pixar) deploy it as a genuine storytelling mechanism? Such a shame. Now that directors and writers can do anything at all, we end up with jive-talking, flatulent animals that have been anthropomorphized into vaguely offensive stereotypes. Wow. Ingenuity knows no bounds. If this is the best we can manage, I’d rather sit at home and guess what my dog may be thinking - which I have done, on occasion.

But this isn't my review, and I sincerely apologize to Massa for co-opting it.

Here's Massawyrm...


Hola all. Massawyrm here. Well, Ice Age: The Meltdown is a wash, a total waste of time and talent that will prove to be this year’s most readily forgotten high grossing film. What appears to be nothing but a cobbled together assimilation of all the spitballed ideas written down, but rejected, for inclusion in the first film, this meandering sequel barely qualifies for ‘feature film’ status by stretching out as much filler as humanly possible. This isn’t so much a film as it is a series of short Ice Age episodes haphazardly woven together to give the appearance of actually being a feature. The kids will love it. But no one over the age of 13 will.

Now there are three types of movies intended for minors – family films (those films that include something for everyone and will entertain anyone who can stomach ‘wholesome’ entertainment – movies like Eight Below, Sky High or Shrek), children’s films (those magical little movies fully intended for kids, but speak to anyone who is a kid at heart – movies like The Iron Giant, The Wizard of Oz or The Little Mermaid) and the least of the three brothers, Kid’s films (those magnificent turds that entertain only those who’ve yet to develop any sort of cinematic taste – movies like Home Alone 3, anything that premiers on the Disney Channel or any of the Land Before Time films beyond the first.) The Meltdown is a perfect example of a ‘kids’ film, a film intended for minors that doesn’t for a moment acknowledge that an adult would ever possibly be present at a viewing of it for very long. As mundane as the most pedestrian of Saturday morning cartoons, The Meltdown is the worst kind of sequel: a slapdash retread meant only to cash in.

Now, there’s a reason Pixar is as successful as they are. They’re smart. They obviously care about their product. Hell, part of their feud with Disney was over Disney’s insistence on sequels when they instead wanted to tell new stories that were far superior than any sequel could be. They’ve made one sequel, reportedly unwillingly, but managed to make it a film that many consider superior to the first. With Toy Story 2 they found a great story and made something really remarkable and heartwarming. But that’s why Pixar is Pixar and Fox is Fox. Apparently Fox Animation has no such scruples, no champions of genius within their ranks to fight for the development of a real film. Instead, someone said ‘Cash In’ and they immediately tracked down the janitor to get their wastebaskets back to mine them for ideas. Because that’s all this is folks.

A relatively plotless stretch of film as barren as its icy surroundings, The Meltdown sets up the immediate weak premise that they’re all gonna die. Again. And the only way to survive is to make a long trek across the valley to some boat that will save them all. That’s it. More walking. Lot’s more walking. The rest of the film is a series of ‘misadventures’, and I use that word in the loosest of possible terms, that struggles feebly to hit the 75-minute mark necessary for theatrical distribution. Ray Ramano’s Manny gets depressed along the way because he believes he’s the last mammoth alive. Enter Queen Latifa’s Ellie – a mammoth who believes she’s a possum. Yeah, that gag gets old about 30 seconds after it’s revealed, and sadly is the only interesting thing going on in the film. John Leguizamo’s Sid wants desperately once again to get respect, and once again does retarded things to earn it. Occasionally this gets addressed in completely random encounters that have no bearing on the plot whatsoever. It’s like the producers thought ‘Hey, what if we had Sid know how to create fire so a group of multi-colored sloths could worship him as ‘The Fire King’?’ ‘I don’t know – you think we could get them to sing and dance exactly like that lemur scene in Madagascar?’ ‘Sure, I don’t see why not.’ ‘Do it.’

Then the writer cobbled together a script only for one of the producers to exclaim ‘Holy shit, we totally forgot about Dennis Leary’s Diego.’ ‘Dude, you’re right.’ “What the hell are we going to have him do?’ ‘Ummm.’ ‘Errr.’ ‘Well, he’s a cat, right?’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘And everything’s melting, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘So cats are afraid of the water, right?’ ‘I’m not following you.’ ‘Dude, we totally make him overcome his fear of water.’ ‘Alright, throw it in.’ But now our intrepid brainstorming staff comes to a dreadful conclusion. The film lacks any tension whatsoever. It’s just walking. ‘Say, anyone here seen Jaws: The revenge?’ ‘Wasn’t that the retarded one where the shark follows the woman 1000 miles for no apparent reason?’ ‘Yup. What if we had a frozen prehistoric creature thaw out and do the same thing?’ ‘Follow them for no apparent reason, even though they’re walking over land for hundreds of miles?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘Okay, make it two prehistoric creatures and throw it in. How much time have we filled?’ ‘About fifty, maybe fifty five minutes.’ ‘Shit, this has to be at least seventy-five. Any ideas?’ At this point I’m certain the sound of silence was deafening. Hours of mind-numbing silence broken only by the creaking of chairs and the tapping of pencils. Then, out of the blue, the college graduate on the staff speaks up.

‘Say, anyone here ever read Grapes of Wrath?’ ‘No.’ ‘Nope.’ ‘No.’ ‘I think I saw the movie.’ ‘Well, there’s this stupid fucking turtle in it.’ ‘I don’t remember a turtle in the movie. You want us to add turtles?’ ‘No, this turtle is trying to cross a dusty road and serves as a metaphor for the family’s trek across the country.’ ‘Alright, well add a Turtle.’ ‘No, hear me out.’ ‘Nope, we’ve already added a turtle – hey maybe we could have the turtle get eaten by the Jaws: The revenge guys’ ‘Do it.’ ‘No, my point was that while the turtle serves as a metaphor, the real reason Steinbeck added it was to appease his editor and make the book twice as long.’ ‘Dude, we already said we’re adding a turtle.’ ‘No, I was speaking in metaphor.’ ‘Now I’m confused.’ ‘The squirrel.’ ‘Oh yeah, we forgot about the squirrel.’ ‘Yeah, what if we filled out the rest of the film with scenes of the squirrel and use him as a break in between scenes we couldn’t fit together with good writing.’ ‘I like the way you think. What should he do in these scenes?’ ‘The same thing he always does. Try to get an acorn. And fails.’ ‘So like 20 minutes of Wile E. Coyote without the rockets?’ ‘Well, I was actually thinking more of a nihilistic expression of everyone’s need to grasp at their dreams only to meet with bitter disappointment and existential crisi…’ ‘What the fuck are you talking about, college boy?’ ‘Um, yeah. Like 20 minutes of Wile E. Coyote without the rockets.’

And that’s the whole film. Everything there is. Okay, I’m lying. There’s an amazingly nonsensical sequence in which a flock of vultures sing “Food, Glorious Food” from OLIVER!, with the words rewritten to be about the joys of eating carrion – but that’s the very last thing there is. It’s all filler, a pathetic attempt to make as much money as they can with the least possible amount of effort. And while the kids seemed to enjoy it, there were several periods in the film where the chatter of bored children almost drowned out the voices of the bored actors. Thank god the squirrel kept coming back. That always managed to shut them up.

Only recommended for the youngest and least discriminating of viewers, and of course anyone who thinks I’m full of shit because the first one was SO GOOD that the second one CAN’T suck as bad as I say it does (but mostly because I think you probably deserve it.) It’s not really unbearable, but I’ve had bus rides that were more exciting. This is one for parents to drop the kids off at and pray they don’t ask for it on DVD (they will, Fox marketing won’t allow for any other outcome.) I feel for you parents, really I do. I would pull my hair out from boredom on a second viewing. I can only imagine what harm you’ll bring to yourselves when you have to listen to it the 50 times your 5 year old will insist upon watching it.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.

Massawyrm

You don't believe me? Click here to ask me to describe every bodily function joke in great, elaborate detail.




Readers Talkback
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  • March 27, 2006, 11:48 a.m. CST

    The glut of failed CGI...

    by zacdilone

    ...will prompt a resurgence of traditional hand-drawn cel animation. Mark my words.

  • March 27, 2006, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Bus Rides

    by the beef

    I had oral sex on a bus ride. I don't think I've seen a movie that could beat that yet. Anyway, the movie did look like shite, glad to hear I was right according to WORM.

  • March 27, 2006, noon CST

    I agree, the first one sucked

    by Trazadone

    My 5-year old lost interest in the original after 5 minutes.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Stanislaw Lem died!! The creator of Solaris!!

    by Borgnine JR

  • March 27, 2006, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Thank you, Pixar

    by SpikeZoft

    How lucky we are that Pixar is once again in charge of their own properties. No crappy sequels from those guys.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Both versions of Solaris put me to sleep.

    by Batutta

    One of my favorite films is 2001, so I don't need every movie I see to be full of explosions, but Solaris tested even my patience. I don't need to see a ten minute sequence of a guy driving a car. I found the story to be obvious and devoid of suspense.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Regarding the Iron Giant

    by NarcolepticDog

    Sorry, the iron giant doesnt fit any of those categories. Hell, i would even go so far as to saythat brad bird made an adult film that just happened to be animated. Definently the best animated movie ever made in my opinion. Heck, one of the best movies ever made. It is a work of genius, and god damn, it actually made me cry, which I never do. And I sure hope that traditional animation gets back on track soon, otherwise we will have to deal with more CGI crap like this movie, and god forbid, another Shrek (yes, I know they are working on it, and I can almost guarantee that it will make another 400 million. sad.) And yes, I know that brad bird did the incredibles in cgi, but wow, that was way better than quite a few of the superhero movies out there, espeically that cinematic dumping ground that was the fantastic four. If there ever was a sequel to a cgi movie that should be made, it would be the incredibles, as long as pixar went the toy story route and made a second movie that is at least as good as the first, and not make a cash in sequel. ok, im dont ranting now. But everyone knows on this talkback that this movie will likely pull in 65-75 million opening weekend, which is what v for vendetta should have made. ok, seriously done ranting now.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Ice Age 1 was meh, Madagascar fucking wasted my life

    by Big Bad Clone

    Believe me, I have two very young kids and I've seen plenty of kids movies. I rather they see great R rated movies than extremly shitty movies that basically insult their intelligence. The makers of Hoodwinked must have figured that it didn't matter if the last third of the film made little sense because kids will look at a animated turd and be pleased (tell me, with a straight face that Andy Dick's character didn't look like a animated turd). It sucks that I feel Curious George was okay simply for not being (fully) CGI.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Hilarious...BLUE SKY STUDIOS' spiral keeps winding down

    by masheen81

  • March 27, 2006, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Reports say Lem bored himself to death.

    by cookylamoo

  • March 27, 2006, 12:34 p.m. CST

    To be fair to Tarkovsky...

    by Phloton

    ...the driving scene should be put in context. That scene was shot on the highways of Tokyo, and to a contemporary (70's) Russian audience, that would look like a city of the future. Of course it is too long, and dull. Tarkovsky himself was disappointed with the outcome of Solaris, and considered it a lesser work.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Ice Sage

    by Crash Crator

    *****I had such high hopes for this film. Now my April is ruined! Ruined, I say! I can

  • March 27, 2006, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Nothing is funnier than an incorrect "FIRST!" post...

    by zacdilone

    ...except someone who then follows it up with "I AM BACK FUCKERS!"

  • March 27, 2006, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Ice Age had about 20 magical minutes

    by Mgmax

    Ice Age really had some great sequences. The ones where Everybody Loves Raymond (I got news for Ray Romano) and the rest of the actors shut up and the movie MOVED. The scenes of them whizzing along the ice were worthy of Buster Keaton. The rest of it was worthy of the talkies where Buster Keaton has to stand there and listen to Jimmy Durante yak for five minutes. Admittedly this is not an original thought, since Slate just had a piece on it, but why can't they make cartoons that are, you know, VISUAL instead of being illustrations for Hollywood celebrities speaking inane "comical" dialogue? People used to diss late-period pre-Eisner Disney animation but Christ on a stick, The Fox and the Hound or The Aristocats or The Rescuers look like a lost golden age next to such tedious, PC celebrity yakfests as Brother Bear, Madagascar, Robots, Home on the Range, etc. (Although curiously enough, I actually liked the much-maligned Chicken Little.) The only hope I can offer is that, in fact, my kids recognize most of this crap for the crap it is; they see the likes of Valiant at Costco and pass it by, but they absolutely LOVE Pom Poko, which isn't even top drawer Miyazaki. Encourage them a little in developing some level of taste and discrimination, and they just might actually do it.

  • March 27, 2006, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Give a dog his bone.

    by Crash Crator

    *****Brilliant post, NarcolepticDog! Brilliant!

  • March 27, 2006, 1 p.m. CST

    FORGET ICE AGE 2... Slither brings the fun on March 31

    by stlfilmwire

    The movie is funny as all hell. It has crazy FX, great humor, the HOT Elizabeth Banks, the infamous Michael Rooker, the fanboy idol Nathan Fillion, as well as all kinds of zombies, aliens, slugs... screwed up stuff. Saw it in Chicago. The original Ice Age was cute, but Ice Age 2? Yuck.

  • March 27, 2006, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Thanks crash

    by NarcolepticDog

    its not often i get call brilliant. I would come over and get the bone, but see, i have this condition where i ............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • March 27, 2006, 1:39 p.m. CST

    You know, Merrick's point...

    by Childe Roland

    ...about the crumbs of goodness being dangled in Ice Age 2 making him resent the rest of the movie even more really resounds with me. That's EXACTLY how I felt about Episode III. If it hadn't shown flashes of brilliance, I wouldn't be as upset that it was largely crap. The original Ice Age was on again this week (surprise, surprise) and it doesn't hold up very well. As someone pointed out, the visual slapstick bits play best.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Pretty funny review.

    by jollysleeve

    Loved the dialogue exchanges of the writers.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:05 p.m. CST

    The problem with Ice Age 1

    by Flipao

    The voice cast was dreadful, as mentioned above, the film was genuinely enjoyable at times and Skrat rocked... | Madagascar was dreadful, the penguins and Ali G were hilarious though.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:39 p.m. CST

    My kids laugh their asses off

    by BannedOnTheRun

    ...whenever they see the "Over the Hedge" TV spot with the "Rosebud" line. Because nothing's funnier to a six-year-old than an oblique reference to Citizen Kane. Kids love that shit.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:44 p.m. CST

    I agree the voice cast was bad on Ice Age 1

    by Lone Fox

    But although I wasn't keen on it at first, the several dozen screenings I've endured courtesy of my 4 year old son have perhaps tainted my opinion... I quite like the first film. Madagascar was disappointing, though it was the first cinema experience for my son so I hold it in higher regard than perhaps I shou-- FRIGGING KIDS! Oh, and while I'm on the subject, Queen Latifah. QUEEN LATIFAH. What is she, forty-something? Still using your 'street' 'nickname'? Jesus.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:47 p.m. CST

    I like the way you think

    by Stollentroll

    Great review. Very funny.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:53 p.m. CST

    It's just a matter of time

    by CloudCleaver

    until the general public figures out that CG films are just like any other Hollywood genre today: just a few diamonds here and there amongst the heaps of crap.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:56 p.m. CST

    You lost me at Ray Romano

    by Harry Weinstein

    When a reviewer's taste in movies is more... generous than my own, when something is said to be crap, I 100% believe it. From the looks of this, the prints ought to be shipped via HAZMAT trucks instead of FedEx or ordinary couriers. Plus, Ray Romano. BUt don't be too hard on DOOGAL unless you've seen the un-Weinsteined version that wasn't released in the US; with a mostly different cast and a considerably different script, it could only be an improvement and I am curious to check it out - though I hear it's still not great even in the original version. Look what the Weinsteins did to THE THIEF AND THE COBBLER, I mean THE PRINCESS AND THE COBBLER, I mean ARABIAN KNIGHTS. It's THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS of animation, only much more tragic.

  • March 27, 2006, 2:59 p.m. CST

    The first was pretty good, actually.

    by FluffyUnbound

    It definitely would not have been worth a theatre visit, but seeing it on cable I didn't poke my own eyes out or anything. And I think the voice work was first-class, actually. It's the only time I've ever been able to tolerate Ray Romano. He makes a much better mammoth than he makes a sitcom husband.

  • March 27, 2006, 3:02 p.m. CST

    And "Queen Latifah's" real name is Dana Owens

    by CloudCleaver

    Guess it just ain't black enough for her.

  • March 27, 2006, 3:17 p.m. CST

    he, I thought Massawyrm began with "Holla"

    by George Newman

    allright, back to reading...

  • March 27, 2006, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Waste of pixels?

    by rxse7en

    Great point about unlimited CGI capabilities and shite scripts. Chalk this one up there with Madagascar, Hoodwinked, Doogal (haven't seen), Valiant, et al. A damned shame considering there is sooo much more out there that would make for great feature films. From what I understand, Disney has shelved Miyazaki (Studio Ghibli) because of content dealing with menstrual cycles (?) -- hopefully, PIXAR can pick up where Disney dropped the ball and do something spectacular vis-a-vis a Miyazaki/PIXAR feature.

  • March 27, 2006, 3:37 p.m. CST

    "vaguely offensive stereotypes"

    by Windowlicker74

    I wonder what Merrick meant by that?

  • March 27, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    LEM: His death is indeed sad

    by George Newman

    His novels and short stories are incredible. Interestingly enough, I just learned about him in the Fall Semester. I took a Polish Science Fiction and Fantasy course, and it was the ebst class I have taken in college. For ANY sci-fi novel fans, I would suggest checking e-bay or your local library for any and all of Lem's work. EDEN, TALES OF PIRX THE PILOT(short stories), MORE TALES OF PIRX, SOLARIS, FIASCO, MEMOIRS FOUND IN A BATHTUB......FIASCO and SOLARIS are great. Neither Solaris film did the book ANY justice, although Soderbergh's is nice. In class we studied the novel and two films as all entirely seperate entities, not translations.

  • March 27, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    The first Ice Age

    by Juggernaut125

    While I enjoyed much of the first Ice Age. (The Dodos sequence was hilarious). The entire movie was an amalgam of Shrek (Big guy with annoying partner) meets Monsters, Inc... need to look after a lost human child. That's it. So, it doesn't surprise me that the sequel would suck. Shrek 2 did, and MI was smart enough not to DO a sequel. So where were these geniuses going to steal their ideas from this time? Oh, and Iron Giant IS one of the greatest movies ever made, btw.

  • March 27, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Windowlicker - I think Merrick was offended by the fact

    by FluffyUnbound

    that John Leguziamo was allowed to do voice work. None of the other characters are ethnically identifiable in any way, so I can't think what else it could be.

  • March 27, 2006, 5:33 p.m. CST

    The Shark followed her for REVENGE, dumbass!!!

    by Drath

    It's there in the fucking title! No wonder you're not a movie producer! Movie Producers am SMART! Movie Producers get this stuff! ****************************** Ahem, sarcasm off. So another CG shitfest? Dang, clearly all studios have solved the creative problems by ditching 2D animation, eh? I wish they'd just animated the Sqrat for 2 hours. Or did they do that and it didn't work? I didn't dislike Madagascar or Robots, but both had their flaws, and yet both look great compared to Chicken Little and Valiant. It's like they're trying their best to just ruin animation as a whole. Sad that Ice Age 2 may be no different. Of course I liked Dreamworks' 2D animated efforts, so obviously you can't go by my taste. I

  • March 27, 2006, 7:01 p.m. CST

    hey, at least Massawyrm's review was good to read

    by Gungan Slayer

  • March 27, 2006, 8:21 p.m. CST

    It'll make $100 million

    by theBigE

    The sad thing about all of this is that the film will be the highest grosser of the year - until MI:3 gets here. And X3. And DaVinci. And Superman. ////////// Why is it that everyone hates Massawyrm's reviews when he praises a movie, but when he rips on one they think he should get the Pulitzer? I thought the first one had its enjoyable moments, and I'm sure I'll be dragging my young'ns to this too.

  • March 27, 2006, 10:53 p.m. CST

    Chicken Little was no Citizen Kane either.

    by Smurfette

    Only Pixar seems to even try.

  • March 27, 2006, 11:02 p.m. CST

    I really liked he first film [*GASP!*]

    by Osmosis Jones

    And I have a free ticket to the sequel, so if it has some good laughs, I'll be happy. Yeah, there's been a glut of celeb-heavy CGI animal movies of late, but you grumpy motherfuckers just make me sad. The first Ice Age was very funny and surprisingly moving at times,, and the Scrat stuff was worthy of a classic Chuck Jones Road Runner short.

  • March 28, 2006, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Osmosis, they're grumpy because they dont get laid

    by SirBiatchReturns

    welcome to AICN. and i agree. to think that Ice Age was DONKEY BALLS means that perhaps there is a dead part of your childhood just rotting away. i thought Ice Age was enjoyable with some surprisingly touching moments. so i'll probably see Ice Age 2.

  • March 28, 2006, 1:49 a.m. CST

    Too many CG family films...

    by Jim Jam Bongs

    That feature the voices of celebrities. At this rate, you'd be hard pressed to name somebody who has not done, or will not be doing, the voice for a CG animated character. There now way too many of these kind of movies, and the quality, inversely, is declining.

  • March 28, 2006, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Yes, Solaris sucked

    by deanamatronix

    why anyone thought remaking it was a good idea is beyond me. Anyways, I hope these crappy CGI movies herald the return of classical animation. The Iron Giant is the greatest and most criminally underrated animated movie every made and Brad Bird was absolutely right to walk away from Warners over their shambolic promotion of the film. Hopefully with well made classical animated films like Howl's Moving Castle and Steamboy (i know, anime)Hollywood will give classical animation another shot.

  • March 28, 2006, 7:29 a.m. CST

    First Massawyrm Review...

    by tripp5

    that ive read in its entirety without being bored to death. i love the pitch meeting," that's some brilliant writing right thurr.

  • March 28, 2006, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Madagascar - Dreamworks racism

    by G'ster

    Madagascar was a pile of racist shit. And it was about as funny as genocide.

  • March 28, 2006, 9:14 a.m. CST

    I'm probably the 100000th person to say this,

    by Novaman5000

    but I'll say it anyway. Make an entire feature-length movie about the misadventures of Scrat (that little rat thing) and I'm there. No talking, just his gibberish rat-speak and all sorts of crazy things happening to him to get this acorn. It'd be classic.

  • March 28, 2006, 11:03 a.m. CST

    How can you NOT love Madagascar?

    by Human Tornado

    I thought it was insane. MOVE IT!

  • March 28, 2006, 2:57 p.m. CST

    The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled...

    by Malx

    was to convince the world to call him "Queen Latifah". It's amazing how many people are concerned about the possible death toll from an influenza pandemic when DVD copies of "Taxi" are still available for public sale. A sequel, "starring" Queen Latifah, as well as John "The Pest" Leguizamo? This clearly violates the Geneva Convention's restrictions in inhumane torture.

  • March 29, 2006, 12:07 p.m. CST

    we need more scenes from Massawrym's pitch meetings

    by Cedar_Room

    thats funny - also agree with what someone said earlier that there is no visual invention in these films. The focus is entirely on the celebrity voice and what unfunny thing they'll say next. The only really fantastic visuals I can think of is the bit in Monsters Inc with all the doors flying around - dazzling stuff severely lacking in all Dreamworks cack. The first Ice Age was on TV the other day and I have to say it bored me to tears. Fundamental problem: a hyperactive talkative SLOTH. Thats a SLOTH - the laziest animal on the planet. There are plants that move further in a day than the sloth. Of all the creatures the could have gone for why would they possibly pick a SLOTH?? For all those talking about Dougal aka The Magic Roundabout as known in the UK I say only this - the original featrued a character voiced by Robbie Williams: the exact Cambridge Dictionary definition of the word "cunt"

  • March 29, 2006, 12:07 p.m. CST

    I still dig the first one...

    by Drexl

    ... and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think the voicework is solid and the animation is quirky and cartoony. Also, the movie is not over-reliant on pop-culture references and while they're undoubtedly there, it's the charm of the thing that makes it work. I'm very fond of the scene where Manny is confronted by the drawings on the cave wall and the connection it makes him have with the little kid they're carrying. David Newmans score works wonders for the flick as well (the second one has John Powell doing the score so I'll have to wait and hear for myself... when this fuckin' flu I got calls it a

  • March 29, 2006, 12:19 p.m. CST

    woops

    by Drexl

    "calls it a night" is what should have followed... my typing fingers went out on their own back there... damn retractable limbs... never should have allowed those implants!

  • March 30, 2006, 9:42 a.m. CST

    See Curious George Instead

    by BilboRing

    My 3.5 year old loved it and so did me and my wife. It was cute and very clever/funny. And the music was perfect. To top it off, it was not CGI. Good ol drawn cartoon. It's the story and the characters that matter. Kids don't care about CGI. Just make a good film.

  • March 30, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST

    zacdilone is right on this one.

    by BilboRing

    Hand drawn toons will be back big time. This CGI is not the main stream so the hand drawn will seem like more of a treat. To me, Curious George was a treat. Geared towards little kids but it blew away Shark Tale, Ice Age, etc. All the Sub-Par CGI movies.

  • April 2, 2006, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Massasswipe review

    by wahoorob1980

    Saw the movie. Don't know what massass is all upset about. Wasn't award worthy...but it was fine. Suggest he get new underwear or therapy. Maybe both.