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Milkbone gets ALTERED by Eduardo Sanchez!!!

Published at: March 19, 2006, 3:21 a.m. CST

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a review from the first ever test screening of Eduardo Sanchez's BLAIR WITCH follow-up, ALTERED. I spent a half a day on this set (report coming soon) and can vouche for the below review's story-line synopsis and Sanchez's desire to use predominantly practical effects. I've seen the nasty little bugger alien and it ain't pretty. I'm really looking forward to seeing Sanchez take a swing at a movie movie, not a faux-documentary style. It sounds like he did a good job. So, enjoy the review. It's fairly spoiler free as far as I can tell.

Hey Harry,

This is my first time writing in to you but I have been coming to your site since the beginning. The main reason that I have never written in is because I never had any intelligence to report before....UNTIL NOW.

Wednesday night I went to my first advance screening ever. I was lucky enough to be in the audience to see the first screening of Altered. It was directed by Eduardo Sanchez who has been missing since his directorial debut, The Blair Witch Project. Let me tell you, it was worth the wait. Well, I thought it was worth the wait. There was definitely some debate when it was over as to what people thought of it.

First of all, this is a very different movie from Blair Witch. Everything that the Witch movie didn't show, this one did. Some really cool special effects from the guys who did Hellboy and the new X-Men. The effects here seemed to be mostly practical and very little CGI. I thought that was great. It didn't look phoney like a lot of CG does.

The story goes something like this.

Three guys are in the woods hunting for something. Whatever it is it is a fast little shit. They manage to capture "the thing" but have no idea what to do with it. The big guy, Duke (Brad William Henke) decides that they need to get off the road and take it to their friend's Wyatt (Adam Kaufman, who after doing Steven Spielbeg's Taken, seems to be at home with this kind of material). They are not exactly welcome when they show up at Wyatt's house. This is where the majority of the rest of the film takes place. Wyatt has an auto garage on his place and has apparently holed up here away from the rest of society.

It turns out that Wyatt and his 3 visitors (the remaining two played by Michael C. Williams from Blair Witch and newcomer Paul McCarthy-Boyington) had been kidnapped 15 years earlier by some extraterrestrial friends, along with a 5th friend. Only 4 of them came back.

It also turns out that the bundle of love that Duke, Cody and Otis are carrying is one of the little bastards that took them away. The three had spent years in the field where they were abducted waiting for the creatures to return. Now they actually caught one.

I don't want to give away too much more of the story except to say there is a cool cameo by James Gammon, a great character actor and a scene involving some internal organs that won't easily be forgotten.

I thought that Altered moved along at a quick clip. In fact, I was surprised it ended as abruptly as it did. My only real criticism is that I might have drawn out the ending some so it didn't feel so rushed.

Other than that, I thought this was a fun ride. Cool creature effects and some nice acting for this type of movie. It sure beats the hell out of the current ride of lame remakes that seem to keep falling out of corporate assholes.

I look forward to seeing Altered again when it hits theaters.

If you use this, call me Milkbone.

Readers Talkback

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  • March 19, 2006, 3:24 a.m. CST


    by wingman321


  • March 19, 2006, 3:27 a.m. CST


    by Haushinka

  • March 19, 2006, 3:28 a.m. CST

    What a nob

    by Haushinka

    can't even spell it.

  • March 19, 2006, 3:29 a.m. CST


    by Haushinka

    I love Blair Witch,so this sounds promising.

  • March 19, 2006, 3:35 a.m. CST


    by CigsandCoffee56

    I've been waiting for so long to see something new from these guys. I hope to hell this lives to be somewhere near the greatness the BlairWitch was.

  • March 19, 2006, 8:37 a.m. CST

    other opinions...

    by HolyCalamity

    here's what IMDB talkbackers are saying... y - PunkRawker0328 3 days ago (Thu Mar 16 2006 05:59:28 ) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply I was able to go to an advanced screening last night and the movie was weak. It started out really slow and confusing. Kinda dragged on with a bit of a week story. The middle picked up a little and got better. But then once you finally were getting into it and thought it was leading somewhere good they just kinda ended it. The ending was terrible, they ended it like they just couldn't figure out how to. I might see it again to see what they changed but Overall this was a 4 for now. Re: Saw It Last Night (Not A Spoiler) by - jameskelly-1 2 days ago (Thu Mar 16 2006 14:02:07 ) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply I also saw the screening of it lastnight and I totally agree with you. I felt like I have seen this movie before; Dream catcher, Aliens, Signs. I think if they developed the storyline and maybe made it more clear of what the hell was going on, it could have made an ok movie. Out of 10 I would give it a 3 Re: Saw It Last Night (Not A Spoiler) by - imdabomb17 2 days ago (Thu Mar 16 2006 15:47:18 ) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply This movie is horrible. I give it a 2/10

  • March 19, 2006, 1:43 p.m. CST


    by dejectedgeek

    Sounds like something I would want to see...I liked Blair Witch, this sounds even better.

  • March 19, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    remakes falling out of corporate assholes

    by godoffireinhell

    I LOL'd.

  • March 19, 2006, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Sounds interesting...

    by OurManInMontr

    ... for a rental! Not drunken though. Sober rental, yeah. "Blair Witch Project" was tons of fun, though many now like to pretend they never liked it, for some reason. This better be good though; been a long time coming...

  • March 19, 2006, 5:33 p.m. CST

    did you notice a sign out in front that said...

    by dmitrinine

    dead alien storage?

  • March 19, 2006, 6:55 p.m. CST


    by El Scorcho

    I've been waiting for word on this one for quite a while. Can't wait to see it.

  • March 19, 2006, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Altered, the real review

    by spazemunky

    THIS MOVIE SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED. i too was at the screening in NY and this movie is insulting to horror fans. anyone that gives this movie a good write up is tricking money out of the loyal fans of Horror an Sci-Fi. it was Slow, poorly made, poorly wrote, generic, unscary, unfunny, no nudity, and without a single likeable character. the alien in this movie is THEE MOST generic alien ever. its the alien from Mars attacks only a little bigger. by the end of this movie the screening crowd was laughng at how bad this movie was. i was sitting behind the director and other big wigs and they coulden't leave the theater fast enough. this movie is an inspiration to anyone that thinks they aren't a good enough writer or director to make it in films. if this movie is made, then ANYTHING can be made.

  • March 19, 2006, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Screw this, where's "Feast"? nt

    by slder78

  • March 20, 2006, 1:12 a.m. CST

    This movie is already better than HOSTEL

    by Doc_McCoy

  • March 20, 2006, 5:15 p.m. CST

    What about Heart of Love?

    by Nadine_Cross

    Remember that shit from a billion years ago? And, I'm still waiting on a BW prequel. Yes, I know. By myself.

  • March 20, 2006, 7:22 p.m. CST

    screw you mccoy

    by white owl

    Hostel owns this movie. it sounds like a lameass followup for the guy who made BLAIR WITH PROJECT. Gimme a break! Eli Roth can run circles around this guy as far as good horror filmmaking goes.

  • March 20, 2006, 9:46 p.m. CST

    by spazemunky

    Hostle is like Raiders of the Lost Ark compared to this retarded movie.