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UPDATE!! SNAKES ON A PLANE Footage!! WATCH!!
UPDATE: According to New Line, the footage linked below is not a trailer, rather an assemblage of clips exclusive to TagWorld. The effects seen in this footage aren't finished & are works in progress, not reflecting the film's final effects work. The official teaser trailer should be coming in about a month.
As far as I'm concerned, it's still pretty damn groovy & if you haven't seen it yet, you should check it out!
SEE Mace Windu lay the smack down on serpentine evil! "Enough is enough.." he says, "I've HAD it with the snakes!" before beatting the crap out of someone with a flailing viper!
Watch the EXLCUSIVE CLIP HERE!
It's good to be alive!
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+ Expand All
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SNAKES IN A MOTHA FUCKIN PLANE!
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That looks gay
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Mar 17, 2006 10:56:42 AM CST
Ohhh, actual snakes. I though the title was a metaphor
by big bad clone
as in we all wrestle with the snakes on planes within ourselves.
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And there aint a god damn thing you can do about it.
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bad in a cheesy delicious way, but don't see myself paying 10 bucks for this in the theater. Maybe On Demand.
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My former tag team partner, the Honky Tonk Man, used to say " I don't like no slimy snakes". On this point, Kamala agrees with him.
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finally a film not pretending to be anything more than what it is.... its about Snakes on a plane, so call it SNAKES ON A PLANE!:D i love it:) sounds like a reet laugh
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The snake that pops out of the woman's shirt? Bad! I know it's suppose to be cheesy, but I want real snakes.
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The effects look cheesy-er than Anaconda. Let's hope it aint finished yet.
That movie looks ridiculous even though I will see it asap. -
He signed on to the movie after reading the title. No shit. He didn't even read the script!
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Mar 17, 2006 11:04:46 AM CST
Is the pink shirt guy reaching for an airsickness bag?
by big bad clone
"Our stategy of screaming at the snakes isn't working. Our only hope is if there is a bald, middle aged black man onboard who is fed up with these snakes"
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http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=7023
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Fuck Star Wars. This is a true event.
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still, not dumber than being THIRD, calling FIRST! and misspelling 'bitches'.
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and Sam, didn't you learn your lesson after Formula 51? Always read the whole script!
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Why'd it have to be snakes (on a plane)? Asps (motherfucker), very dangerous!
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there is no way this is real. I need to wake up.
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Look , I don't think you UNDERSTAND the gravity of the situation here. We GOT CGI SNAKES ON DA MUTHUAFUCKIN' PLANE!
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Apparently the script is like Air Force One with snakes from what my friend has read of it. Secondly, they were going to change the movie's title to "Flight 113" or some random crap like that, but Samuel L. Jackson refused, saying that the main reason he's doing the movie, is because the damn name is Snakes on a Plane.
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...this is going to decimate the box office bitches...
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I will ssso go sssee thisss Sssam Jackssson battling sssnakesss on a plane!!! Family Guy is right, Sssam Jackssson isss in everything!!! ok enough with my lame sss joke
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I like dumb as shit- cheese fest as much as the next guy, but the cg in that is soooo bad it will distract me the entire film, lets hope it's only the beginning of the process. Also, I to see a half man-half snake baddie, like cobra comander!
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my grammer sucks anyway, but holy shit!!
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Seriously, it sounds so retarded and dumb that it's bound to be fun when watched after a couple of drinks or having puffed an L. When I heard about this movie in 2003 I knew I had to see it because of how diabolically retarded the title and premise was.
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You were once The Man, but now....so sad, so very sad. DAMN YOU ROTHMAN!!!
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It was everything I knew it could be and more.
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If I remember my GI Joe correctly, Cobra Commander wasn't 1/2 man 1/2 snake that was the Emperor, don't remember his full name, but he wore golden snake armor and flew around on a sweet golden "Green Goblin" type glider and his main threat wasn't Duke, it was Sgt. Slaughter
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"We are taking this plane to Cobra-La!"
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Sold! Man, this just made my whole day. I haven't laughed that hard at a trailer in ages. It looks so bad it can't be anything but utterly fantastic. Seriously, it's like the filmmakers suddenly realized what the film was going to be called and just said "fuck it, just pile on the goddamn snakes and high altitude hijinks." I can't help but admire purity of purpose like that -- especially in something so wonderfully awful as SNAKES ON A PLANE. The title alone guarantees this will be cinema gold. I am so there.
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But hating on Snakes on a Plane? You have no soul.
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Yeah, My computer is so obsolete.
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shoot me before i say something dumb again! also, in the GI Joe Movie, Cobra Commander changes into a snake and helps Roadblock (who was blinded) blabfggf...
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Good call.... well. anyway, I wanna see that guy in this FUCKIN' MOVIE!!
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this film is going to at least double last years takings at the box office. It will revive peoples hopes in going to cinema to pay for a film instead of downloading it. snakes on a plane will kill film piracy;)
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That was amazing.
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He was a man, then Cobra-La changed him to a snake to punish him. Serpentor was made from the dna of historical bad asses, if I remember correctly. I really think I need to be shot for knowing this.
Snakes on a plane is just cool. -
the uk....I liked it alot btw *except for the last 15 seconds which completely ruined it*
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Serpentor was a combination of of DNA from Julius Caeser, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan and some others. He just dressed like he was half snake. ----------- I hope I get a "Stupid Cartoon Villians" category on Jeopardy or else this knowledge will never pay off.
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The first time I saw it, was when they ran it over the course of a week, hosted by Sgt.Slaughter. DYR!!!
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The same way the "When A Stranger Calls" remake looked. This movie looks god awful. But it HAS to at least be hilarious.
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The same way the "When A Stranger Calls" remake looked. This movie looks god awful. But it HAS to at least be hilarious.
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Best battle cry ever! Well, second, I forgot, HOOOOOOOOO!!! DYR!!!
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fucking hilarious... I now want to start a band just so I can call it Snakes on a Plane... finally, a piece of shit movie with a sense of humor about the fact that it is a piece of shit...
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I am in love.
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You see this could have easily been like a Sci-Fi original. But since it has a sense of humor (look at the damn title!) it looks like it will be fucking fun in the movies. Can you imagine the sequel potential too? Or a Versus movie? LMAO.
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You've got to admire the thinking behind this trailer - no dialogue, no exposition etc. Just Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson taking on a bunch of motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane. Fuck Superman - this is the movie of 2006.
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Sam's career? Maybe they just want some rats to gnaw on, or people to respect them for who they really are. Maybe there will be a twist and Voldemort and Cobra Commander are behind the whole thing.
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"And theres not a GOT-DAMN thing you can do about it!"
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Its gotta be.
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Does the Nemesis Enforcer show up?
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The movie had a 5 day re shoot to change it's rating from PG-13 to R. They brought back 5 of the principle actors to re film scenes and shoot new ones with stronger language and more gore. And that scene of Jackson whipping some guy with a snake is hilarious.
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is fucking Dirk Benedict turning all scaley and shit. SSSSSS! best movie title ever, besides this one.
Fuck me, you gotta give Sam props. He knew this was awful shit when he read the title, and that's why he did it. I have to see this. -
I don't mean a joke like a parody movie, I mean like there really is no movie. They just made this trailer as a joke.
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Instead of some crappy CGI and bad lighting effects how about some real snakes?
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I'm getting my tent and sleeping bag and camping out in front of a random theater right now. (Julianna Marguiles's post-ER career is going smashingly)
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my goodness, that looks like wall-to-wall campy FUN! And stupid as horse sh!t :p
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Cuz who DOESN'T want to experience this in a theater?!
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absolutely right. when it feels more like a dave chappelle sketch than a real movie promo, you know you've struck comedy gold...
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I like the end. Snakes goin up the stairs. Classic.
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I don'T know what's wrong with me, but I got no problems with close ups of dead human babies, but killed cats are too much for me.
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This must be a trailer from Quentin Tarrintino's and Robert Rodriguez's upcoming Grindhouse Flick -- they were supposed to have crazy trailers for the intermission.... Huh??? come on this aint real.... -
Mar 17, 2006 12:10:47 PM CST
because it was inexpensive, the sequel is in production
by hypeendshere
Tigers on a Boat.
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You are correct about Serpentor...I remembered the historical villians dna I just thought that Dr. MindBender mixed in Snake DNA too...I had forgotten about Cobra Commander in the GI Joe Movie...I don't believe any of the GI Joe movie(s) were released in the thatres...the weather machine one, at least the way I remember it was released on video...the Serpentor movie was done over a like a week or 2 week period hosted by Sgt. Slaughter, who was there to wipe the joes into shape...I actually perfer the Serpentor movie because a)it had Shipwreck, the 2nd coolest mofo in the entire Joes...and b) in the weather machine movie they had Spirit fighting Storm Shadow not snake eyes the absoulte coolest mofo in the Joes...now what I can't remember is the name of the helicopter pilot, can someone help me out...the texas hillybilly
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there will be a "snakes on a plane" joke in david letterman's monologue after the movie is released.
i say 9 -
Bats in a Buick
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...which it appears it has, this should be a lot of fun.
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FLEAS ON A RUG!! MY GOD, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!
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This looks dire, what a waste of money, give me the cash ill make the screenplay i have on my pc. it will be far better thatn this shit.who thought this up?
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"Enough is enough! I've had it with these ninjas!" BLAM! BLAM! "Yeah, they deserved to die! I hope they burn in hay-uhle!"
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it really is about snakes on a plane. hilarious!
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...and that is STILL the very worst CGI I have EVER seen...They going to fix that sh!t before they release the movie?
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I'm glad I wasnt drinking something when I read your post. Funny shit.
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Cuz I can't imagine anybody looked at that and thought it looked remotely convincing. Maybe it's the CGI equivalent of Guys in Rubber Suits?
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Man did that movie suck ass, sure Milla looks good but holy crap is she a horrible actress. SciFi channel cgi to boot!
Oh by the way Sam is the man and I SOAP will own your asses...
GFY -
in a movie about snakes on a plane is the most absurd thing I've encountered in a while. Surely you haven't run out of better things to bitch about? It's a fucking movie. About snakes. On a plane.
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last night's American Inventor won't stop them. Bears yes, snakes no.
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Lizards On A Train
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seriously, you CANNOT bitch about this movie. Don't complain about how the CGI looks fake. Or any of the effects. Or ANYTHING. Just stop. This movie will own, and there is nothing you can do about it. Embrace it.
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like he did in Deep Blue Sea
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"Turd on a Surfboard"...?
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You're practically BEGGING Ringbearer9 to show up and give us a lengthy dissertation on why this movie is "bad" - which, admittedly, would be almost as funny as the trailer itself.
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Still 5 months away so plenty of time to get sssome decent ssssnakessss in there.
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"I'm sick of all these mothafuckin Emus!"
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GO BEARS!
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...that the "Indiana Jones and the-" crowd has arrived.
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Sam L.: "Where do I sign, Motherfucker?"
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"Get the motherfuckin' children away from that vendor!!"
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Tiger on a boat would be Life of Pi. Did you read it? Can't believe no one has said "Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?" I guess ya'll were waiting for me.
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and when they bark the bees come out and sting you. What, it's already been done?
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VIVA LA MERRICK!
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talk about your conversation starter!
http://www.cafepress.com/roofdog
I'm lining up now at the theater! -
no matter what they do with the title of the film, the movie will still be about Snakes on a Plane...they HAVE to KEEP THAT TITLE!
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Fucking Horrible, but maybe it will make for a good video game.
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Sam Jackson is Sam Jackson - he can do whatever the fuck he wants. If he's a good movie, he's the best part of that movie. If he's in a bad movie, no one even REMEMBERS he's been in that movie - he can take any fucking movie job he pleases. He chose 'Snakes on a Plane' because of the hilarious title. He actually threatened to back out if they changed the title, saying, "I signed on for fuckin' SNAKES ON A PLANE!"
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It is based on an SNL skit. It can't be a real film.
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It's obvious it's meant to be a campy type of deal, even Sam Jackson mentioned it in interviews. Calling it a bad movie would probably be a compliment to the cast and crew.
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Don't deny it. It Snakes on a motherfucking Plane!
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Bad movie? Most likely...probably one of those 'so bad it's good' type of films...but not worth paying $9 in the theatre...put it on the bottom of my NetFlix Q. www.reelfans.com
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"When there's no more room in Hell...snakes will fly economy class."
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I have 172 titles in my blockbuster Q at the moment. Any of you mofo's beat that?
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"Not life threatening... but VERY uncomfortable"
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The pilot was code-named "Wild Bill." The helicopter was "The Dragonfly." Incidentally, I never could figure out in GI Joe why they had all these specialists with transportation -- Wild Bill for the helicopter, Clutch for the car, Ace for the fighter jet, Deep-Six for the diving bell -- yet every other Joe could just jump in the whatever and drive or fly or dive just as well. Must've given those other guys an inferiority complex.
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Looks too good to be true. No way they actually did this. It's too great. It must be joke. No one would actually have the courage to make something that could be as funny and cool and as terrific a commentary on our entertainments as this. It's way too cool.
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Jake the Snake get on that plane whooooo! Cause you, the Nature Boy, and Samuel L. Jackson, are gonna fight in a Three way Death match with Snakes, Chops and Profanity over the friendly skies!
Whoooooooo! -
"first"
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Sam shoot one of the snakes? Amazing! This will go down as one of the greatest investments and decisions in the history of moviemaking. Brillant! hahaha...that snake that comes out of the woman's shirt? WOW. What's even more hilarious is that it's really New Line's teaser trailer for this. How is this going to go? The whole movie just punching and shooting snakes...on a plane? I can't stop laughing...these talkbacks are great!
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really, though, its almost genius. i know a lot of people who can't wait to see this.
i mean it's about snakes. on a plane! what else do you want? this trailer was perfect... no wishy washy character devolpment... just
SNAKES ON A FUCKING PLANE! -
Yeah, I can beat that.
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on opening weekend alone. this'll be one for the ages!
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it still doesn't beat the GI Joe movie with Duke getting a fucking Cobra through the heart and Scarlet saying the line "Oh...he's gone into a coma." (by the way, the first time blood was ever seen in GI Joe) but come on. He just got a fucking cobra through the heart!!! (oh and the cobra lives and slithers away too)
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There are snakes on the muthafuckin' plane.
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OK, you do have be beat by 204 films. But that is probably becuase you watch like one a month you jewish/roman commedian/dictator. How many you down a week? I got through 2 from my Q, and 3 from my personal library of DVDs. The only reason I'm not watching 7 days a week, is a got a wife that needs servicing about twice a week. No jokes- we've been married 12 years and have 2 kids. Like I'm going to give it to her every night.
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This may look bad in the talkback, but lets rip it up. Its Friday.
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The New World -
If it is, I think they have taken massive dramtic liberties.
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Yes! This is truly an Andy Warhol moment! The sheer fact that this movie exists is a work of art in and of itself. The fact that this teaser lives up to the sheer ball-swaggering of its title places it through the stratosphere. Truly belongs amongst Van Gogh's Starry Night and Moore's Watchmen as pinacles within their field.
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"Those sea-bound mammals are some fast shit"
ANY movie with Samuel L Jackson snakewhipping somebody gets my -
"Would you like to see a movie called 'Snakes on a Plane'?". She replies "Yes". I ask her what she thinks that movie would be like. She says "Like.... the wheels on the bus go snake, snake, snake". I hope this turns out like Lake Placid and just goes completely over the top.
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Read it in a magazine, can't remember which one. Example: "When Ted realized he forgot his notes for the meeting, his presentation really went snakes-on-a-plane."
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For aren't we all battling the snakes on the plane within ourselves?
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I mean completely banned outright. No more CG ever. It was an interesting experiment but you guys can keep your Jar Jar, your Jumanji monkers and now your motherfuckin' snakes on a plane. But CG aside, I can't wait for this movie. Best movie of whatever year it happens to come out in. Oscar for sure. Motherfuckin' snakes on a plane - it doesn't get any better than that.
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Just take out your cinematic penises, compare their lengths, and be done with it already! Haven't you heard? There are motherfucking SNAKES on a goddamn PLANE!
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"Oh, my God! The muthufuckahs want more breadsticks!"
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"Them yellowjackets be in the tiny wardrobes"
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"You're impeached, muthafucka!"
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"They're coming after us! Slowly"
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a designer made the ultimate Sam's Club with super tall ceilings. unfortunately, due to the placement of the refrigeration section and the propane/barbecue grills, something goes horribly awry and a vortex is created causing a vacuum which sucks the doors closed. the store is filled with flying merchandise, customers (because it's the Grand Opening), and an unpredictable tornado. SUMMER 2009.
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You made the fucking headlines dude!
Atlanta Journal-Constitution predicts that the movie will likely elicit "passionate debate on the Internet among people with user names like Lord Asriel, Killdozer, Rant Breath and DocPazuzu. It is also the sort of movie that appeals to the inner teenage nerd/romantic in all of us."
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'nuff said.
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Does Samuel Jackson just like B movies or what? Deep Blue See, Star Wars, and now this? It's so stupid I will definitely see it. I am marking my calendar right.... now.
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what this movie is supposed to be about? Is it a love story...? Romantic Comedy...?
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then he saw the trailer and he really wants to see it. I can't wait for this commercial to be playing all the time.
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Who's Merrick?!
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Somene posted earlier that SNL should write as good as this... well, they have and did, about 5 or so years ago, during an episode if I recall correctly, starring John Goodman, it was a snakes on the plane sketch, soemthing about killer cobras. I think it got a so so response when it aired, but it's kind of funny thinking back on it now and how this movie is being made, bet they were inspired by this sketch.
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The teaser was cool. Samuel L. Jackson cool. On a plane. With Snakes.
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I haven't laughed that much at a trailer in a while. That was cool. Snakes on a muthafuckin' plane.
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Dammit New Line, spoiling us like that
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Reach in the bag and get me my wallet. Which one is it? IT'S THE RATTLESANKE SKIN ONE THAT SAYS THERE ARE MOTHAFUCKIN SNAKES ON A PLANE."
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And watch around 8 a week in addition to my DVR. And work a full-time job.
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The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil snakes. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the snakes through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost snakes. And I will strike down upon thee snakes with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee mother fuckin snakes.
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Ever see one of these little bastards get ahold of some chocolate? It's fucking frightening, man. They'll rip your damn arms off.
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You know I'm right, this will make Citizen Kane look like the 80's epic GORP.
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That shit was funny, man. He stole the banana out of Destro's lunch bag!
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Is a film snob and I pity them. Just like I pity the people who didn't realise how great the Star Wars prequels were. Well, the last two, anyway.
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Just wondering.
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Yup. Hell hath froze over. Now, I can finally get that remake of "The Big Bus" greenlighted. Probably could get Stockard Channing to reprise her role, too.
Either that or "Fist of the North Star: the Musical".
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...and FD3. He was also 2nd Unit director for at least Matrix Reloaded and directed the freeway chase.
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I think I smell toast. Jesus. When I heard about this project, I thought it was a SNL skit. After seeing that trailer---I still do.
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That SLJ thought the title was so cool, he actually signed up to do it before reading the script.
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That would be cool.
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for peta
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But, seriously, I'm really looking forward to this. Everytime its name got dropped, I laughed and couldnt believe it to be true, but now... Oh, we have the footage to prove it. I just hope its Funny bad, and not Bad bad.
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Happened to me. Little bastards tore the place up. Dark Knight Out.
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... because you didn't think of a four word pitch that was bought.
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BEES ON A BUS! We could get Keanu and Sandra to come back for sure after they see how well this movie does.
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Now that was scary! (And no single cat died in it!)
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Even "American Beauty" has its Porno- Ripoff!
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I really hope this movie isn't a joke, I really really do......But an alarming word about the excellent snake-whippin' moment. My computer started buffering at that exact moment,and I'm not convinced it WAS a snake-whippin'! It looked more like a life-saving situation,where SLJ jumps in to save the guy by grabbing and smacking down the snake. But I hope I am wrong. Genius - should be great!
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what're you guys trying to say...
you're telling me they are snakes?!?!
on tha muthafuckin plane?!?!?!?!?!??!
and there ain't a got-damned thing you can do about it!!!!!!! -
what else you trying to say?
what? there are retards? in tha muthafuckin talkback?!?!? -
"Sssssss?"
"ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER: DO YOU SPEAK IT?"
"Sssssssss?"
"Oh: the you DON'T understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Sorry"
BLAM!
Snakes on a Plane
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This is gonna be so huge, because it's simplicity and overall awarenss of how bad it is will make it the sleeper hit of the summer. I'm telling you now- this will clean house at the MTV movie awards and the Empire awards next year... and they're the only two that really count these days.
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I think it was Sam Jackson just grabbing a snake that was probably sneaking up on him and throwing it down. That guy seemed to be just incidentally sitting there. Still an awesome trailer though. So I wonder what Tom Cruise will do when this movie beats MI:3. Suicide will be the only honorable way.
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i got this copy right..no one better try to steal my idea!
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We have a winner for eveything!
This movie looks so over the top, it can't be anything but great.
Im in tears, i was laughing so hard at that footage. -
I love that line. It somehow implies that up to that point, Samuel L. Jackson and the passengers were living in harmony with the snakes. But the snakes kept pushing and pushing. Then the snakes went too far. And that was their big mistake.
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All that clip needed was James Earl Jones turning into a giant python and eating everyone. So tell me my main man, what is the problem with Samuel Jackson? Hollywood has made him so crazy he wants to ride with snakes on a plane. He been eaten by dinosaurs, sharks, and shot in the back of the head by Joe Pesci. Still I'll probably go see it anyway. Cobraaaaa!
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They take over the cargo hold we fall back. They invade the galley and we fall back. They infest business class and we fall back. The line must be drawn here, this far no further!
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I gotta point out that Snakes on a Plane is #4 on the New York Times "most popular movie" list. Drill down and it says SOAP will be released August 18, 2006.
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That would be an awesome cultural experience.
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I'm positive that line was cut and pasted together for the trailer, IDunno. You don't actually see him give the full line, and there's a definite cut before you hear "snakes".
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New Line and there bizarre decision to not show there films in Dun Loaghaire.
Does anyone know if New Line have done anything similar in the US. Pulling their movies from certain cinema chains. Or in the Uk for that matter.
I am Curious..... -
Usually it's the other way around. Like AMC is a big chain in the States and they wouldn't show "The Aristocrats" because of the language. Studios want to get their films in as many screens they can afford, I can't think of a situation where they'd purposly not show their films with a specific chain.
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Im just trying to take a shit, Motherfucker!
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Does anyone know where I can download any of the old Phantom 2040 cartoon? God that shit was good. Usual p2p and torrent enquiries don't seem to be working. Any ideas people?
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Therefore, I must see it.
I can't waaaaiitt! -
That's how every reviews headline is gonna read.
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Oh I'm bad...
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Yes they deserve to die, and I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!
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For some reason the image makes me giggle.
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Attack of the silent G's.
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At the start of the virtuous mission, and the start of the Snake Eater Operation, and at the very end when he gets away! You can see the whole movie on the Existence disc available in the Limited Edition of Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence which is available everywhere except in Canada... you bastards!!!!
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From the people who brought you FREDDY VS JASON, and FINAL DESTINATION 3, comes another pile of dung. Does Samuel "Never turn down a paycheck" Jackson have any standards? Then again this will probably be a runaway hit with the teen-set. "Hmmm... Should we rent Deuce Bigalow 2 or, no... Here we go: 'Snakes on a plane,' beeyatch."
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First off, don't blame SLJ for taking what's offered him; he never said anything about suffering for his art, like some pedistal-climbers. You should be so lucky. Second, FvJ did box office enough to warrant a sequel, regardless of how steaming a pile it was, so it goes to show the public has different tastes than the overly critical (a pathetic sub-group of which I am unfortunately a member of). Lastly, It's film. It's entertainment. It fills the stomach. You're probably one of them types who, back when opera was created as a pablum for the French masses, would turn your nose up at it as poor art. That goes for the rest of us: what exactly do we expect out of those in the entertainment industry? And, if our expectations are high, then why don't we apply those expectations towards our own work? And don't say you do.
Thank you for watching "Unsolicited Rant Theatre".
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Imagine it, hire a plance, invite film critics and film geeks, offer free booze, and show the film while circling aimlessly in the sky as fake snakes fall from the luggage compartments. It'll be the best reviewed movie of the year... Oh and those saying it is a rip-off of a SNL sketch are wrong, the sketch was inspired by the news of the original script being sold. Someone has already linked to the article by Harry from 2000...
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Pigs...in a blanket
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Seriously, would you prefer Play-doh stop-motion? Maybe you would since that strobe-light effect must be comforting for all the countless hours you spend jerking off with one hand while flicking the on/off switch to the lights in the other to make sure your parents don't catch you beating off to the Junior Miss catelog from the local department store.
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PLZKTHNX
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FISSION MAILED
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"Oh: the you DON'T understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Sorry"
Wrong black actor.
GOOD GOD SO VERY WRONG. -
The CGI is still incomplete, according to it.. yet we have people ranting about the shitty CGI.
Now go tell a pregnant woman how ugly her baby looks too while you're at it. -
Enough is enough, brother.
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YES! YES! YES! YES! Oh man, FUCK YEEEEAAAAHAA!
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not goofin on the title, just describing my day thusfar.
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what a piece of shit
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Twasn't Solid Snake, twas his pappy "Naked Snake" a.k.a. Big Boss. I'm surprised you remembered the name of the mission, but didn't remember who was on it. :P
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Lolocaust
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it's too early to be making movies about 9/11.
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I've been thinking about the underyling issues that Snakes on a Plane will raise and I've come up with an idea I think is very possible. Here's what we know this film will have:
SNAKES, PLANES, SAM JACKSON.
I've been able to figure out that this film will be a parable for the power of aviation in war. We know that snakes can symbolically mean evil, or even represent the devil himself. Generally many people consider their enemies to be devils.
The Year of the Snake on the Japanese calendar was, get this, Janurary 27, 1941 to February 14, 1942.
What happened on December 7th 1941, which happens to fall between the year of the snake? Pearl Harbor.
What did the Japanese use to attack pearl harbor with? Planes. Planes, which had been use for transporting people and other trade goods were now being used for evil purpose, for death. They had become a devil.
How does Snakes on a Plane relate to this? The snakes in Snakes on a Plane are a symbol for the Japanese's evil use of aviation to destroy Pearl Harbor. In essence, this plane in the film, will be filled with Snakes. Without the Snakes the plane is just a harmless tool, but with snakes on it becomes a dangerous weapon. So you might say the snakes represent the possibility of turning aviation into a dangerous weapon. The snakes represent that possibility, they represent the Japanese during WWII. Once the "devils" aka Snakes infest the plane, it becomes a weapon that can harm.
And get this. You know what the element of that particular year of the snake was? Metal. What is made of metal? Planes.
But how does this connect to history, is it a simple parable of the attack on Pearl Harbor. No, it goes much deeper. Just like before Pearl Harbor, nobody in the US thought the Japanese were a problem for the country, but we recognized their problem for the entire world. Just like snake attacks aren't a big problem in the United States, but in other African countries they are. The snakes (Japanese), weren't a problem until they attacked our plane (The United States). So one can see the metaphor not only makes comments on the power of turning aviation into a weapon, but comments on the global politics of WWII.
But the things is, snakes aren't inherently evil. There are good snakes and bad snakes, venomous and harmless. But before 1941 many looked down upon the Japanese people as all evil. We interned thousands of innocent people. Just like snakes of all venoms and sizes are kept in zoo's across the US. Now we have corrected that, now we just fear the violent and evil people of a particular group, not the entire people. Do you think all of the snakes on Snakes on a Plane will be evil? I doubt it, but everyone will treat them like that.
To illustrate this we must examine other films that showcase the feelings of Americans during this period. We all know Raiders of the Lost Ark reflects racist and imperialist tendancies of the 1930-40's America. What happens in that film? Indy goes on a plane...he meets a snake...he says, "I hate Snakes...." That's an important metaphor for the Japanese who he perceived were devilish snakes that turned airplanes into weapons of War. A harmless snake like Reggie posed no threat to Indy himself, but he viewed all snakes as evil. Notice he doesn't say, "I hate your Snake Jock!", He says, "I hate snakes" He hates them all. That sentiment was expressed and many people agreed with Indy back in that time, but they never thought that was a problem. Indeed, Indy doesn't even give a consideration to Snake attacks as a whole across the world as he flees from Peru. He was just concerned about that one snake that was an immediate "threat" to him.
But what happens later in the film? He opens the well of souls and see's billions of snakes, and he finally becomes aware of the true problem these snakes cause. Not all of these snakes are evil mind you, but under the leadership of evil snakes they appear that way, and Indy couldn't make that distinction. But the snakes were still a problem for Indy. He couldn't get to the Ark without going through them. Just like the US desired peace for the world, but we didn't realize we would have to go through the Japanese in a war to attain it. We figured we had peace, but didn't realize the Japanese (snakes) were also a problem for us, even though they hadn't directly attacked us.
Do you think there will all of a sudden be no snakes on that plane and then a bunch? No, there won't be. One snake, or maybe two will slither there way into that plane in the beginning of the movie, and a few passangers will be afraid and say, "****, there's snakes on this plane." But everyone else will say, "Oh No, there's just that one snake on this plane" Untill the snakes attack the plane in full (Like Pearl Harbor), the passangers (The US people) will never realize the true danger they are in. But once they attack, once that pearl harbor happens on that plane, they will fight back. And that's where Sam Jackson comes in.
Sam Jackson represents the isolationist America. In the beginning of the film he won't be a loud mouth, he won't make conversation with the people around him, he'll sit in his seat like a sleeping giant. But when those snakes attack, when that Snake Pearl Harbor happens, the sleeping giant will awake. Like he says in the trailer, "That's it, I've had it with these snakes.". Clearly writing inspired by FDR's speech on Dec. 8th.
Jackson willl attack these snakes with a swift stroke, they will hurt many of the passangers, but in the end he will prevail. He will make the snakes surrender. Just like the Japanese did. Jackson carries a gun and tazer, he himself will turn the plane into a weapon of war, just the US did. He will kill every snake on that plane. Regardless of whether they are responsible or not. Just like we did in the Total War that was WWII. Innocent snakes will die, but it will be for the greater good. Jackson will have to commit evil to do good, he will have to save that plane from those snakes. Just like the US saved the world from the Japanese empire.
But in the end goodness will prevail. Jackson will have saved the plane. He will have saved the world. I imagine a touching prologue where Jackson realizes his experiences on that plane weren't representative of all snakes (Aka, Japanese after WWII). He will go to a zoo. He will walk up to a snake cage. Touching music will play. He will look at the harmless snake, it will look back at him. The snake will rise up ready to strike, but it will nod it's head at Jackson and Jackson will nod back. Jackson will free the snake from it's cage (Internment Camp) and they will walk into the sunset. Before the snakes came on that plane they were enemies, after the plane landed they became friends. Snakes on a Plane will show that racism that existed before WWII, but it will show the aftermath, and the rise of Snakes in the publics mind as beneficial and important animals in the world. Just like Japan rose after WWII to greatness. It's a strong connection, a brilliant metaphor.
This film will touch on the moral consequences of war, it will parallel one of the most important conflicts in all of history. It will open eyes, and touch hearts. You think you know who these snakes are? You have no idea. With any justice, this will be taking home the oscar come 2007. -
SOAP: $700 million domestic B.O., easy. Snakes On A Plane tops Snoozefest On A Boat!
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Ricki TIffy Taffy is the only one who can stop SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!
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Shame on me... :-(
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