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Adam Sandler goes Brokeback with Kevin James for I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a bit of news that broke this morning on Adam Sandler's newest flick for Universal Pictures called I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY about two firemen (Sandler and Kevin James) who pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic partner benefits. I know, it sounds kind of lame and a bit overused, but the film has a few things going for it... One, it's being directed by WEDDING CRASHERS director David Dobkin and two, and this is the biggie, the last draft of the script was written by Alexander Payne and James Taylor (SIDEWAYS, ELECTION). Payne and Taylor writing a script centered around the aforementioned plotline? Count me curious. What about you?
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I suck
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So one movie about gay guys is popular so they're going to make a gay comedy, gay horror, gay action, until they come full circle to a bunch of crappy gay dramas? Well at least the Logo channel will have enough movies for programming after a couple years.
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I love it.
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It was a solid story with good actors, great acting and the gay aspect wasn't there just to shock the shit out of people like most of these wannabes will be doing.
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Look, it's going to get shortened to just "Chuck & Larry", the one-sheet's title is going to have big, block letters in fire engine red (obviously and because red equals 'funny movie'), a dalmation is going to be the ringbearer, with the ring on a pillow in its mouth (this will also be on the poster), and Kevin James at some point will do an embarrassing dance lifted straight from the choreography of the fat guys who dance at Bulls games. I also expect that Eugene Levy will cash a paycheck to play either Sandler's distraught father or a bumbling, retired fireman who gets involved by futily trying to get them thrown off the job. Of course the dog will bite him in the sack and/or he will be saved by the titular characters in the least threatening onscreen fire ever. Or maybe he will help them save someone else. Many firehose jokes are sure to be included and some Maxim wank-material 'actress' that owes Adam a favor will play the girl whose very existence threatens to out ('unout'?) them.
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Look, it's going to get shortened to just "Chuck & Larry", the one-sheet's title is going to have big, block letters in fire engine red (obviously and because red equals 'funny movie'), a dalmation is going to be the ringbearer, with the ring on a pillow in its mouth (this will also be on the poster), and Kevin James at some point will do an embarrassing dance lifted straight from the choreography of the fat guys who dance at Bulls games. I also expect that Eugene Levy will cash a paycheck to play either Sandler's distraught father or a bumbling, retired fireman who gets involved by futily trying to get them thrown off the job. Of course the dog will bite him in the sack and/or he will be saved by the titular characters in the least threatening onscreen fire ever. Or maybe he will help them save someone else. Many firehose jokes are sure to be included and some Maxim wank-material 'actress' that owes Adam a favor will play the girl whose very existence threatens to out ('unout'?) them.
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...but there's no way in hell Dobkin is a selling point - not based on Wedding Crashers. Or even Shanghai Knights or Clay Pigeons for that matter. Sounds like another useless entry in the Sandler ouvre. And that's a frickin' shame, because he was so damn good in both Punchdrunk Love and Spanglish, both of which prove this guy's talents are being largely squandered by Hollywood and that the masses will never get him unless a lot of screaming is involved.
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Too many late night martinis lead one to not think before editing and pressing "Post to Talkback".
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Ray Romano and Jason Alexander could star.
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Starring John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix.
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where Levy comes to realize that his bumbling attempts to get them fired are really just a mask for his own pent-up urges to bang the hunky Captain of the firehouse downtown. And then, to show their support for their newly out friend at a union meeting where he's about to be voted out as the stationhouse representative, each one of them will stand up, tear off their shirts and proclaim that they too are gay (even if they're actually straight, but it's a great trite Spartacus moment - but without Tony Curtis in the bath - so why pass it up). The Union heads will see the error of their ways and the final scenes of the film will be of the firefighters marching in the city's pride parade while 'It's Raining Men' plays. The closing credits will be accompanied by still photos of the firemen posing semi-nude for a charity calendar.
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I will see this because of those two. Yes, I even liked Jurassic Park 3.
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I can't see what all the fuss was about, cowboys have been getting into chaps for years.......
Also, is a kiddy fiddler who likes rap music a P-diddy-ophile? -
Payne and Alexander also wrote JURASSIC PARK III, so it's not like everything they touch is genius (although that movie was ok, especially compared to THE LOST WORLD).
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Is Tom Cruise available?
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and "Drawn Together"?
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Not really the phrase I would've used in this particular article, Quint old boy.
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It was called Strange Bedfellows and starred Paul Hogan and Michael Caton as a couple of small-town businessmen who set themselves up as a gay couple in order to take advantage of some newly introduced tax incentives. It was pretty awful so Sandlar can't possibly do any worse.
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The producers of Drawn Together should sue their asses for plagiarism.
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Perfect title for your gay vampire movie: Vlad the Impalehim
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Yaaawn. Not in the slightest. (Hey, you asked!)
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Payne and Taylor make me somewhat interested... but this could be a big pile of shiite
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The reason Payne/Taylor rock is because they have control over the majority of their stuff, and hire people like Giamatti and Nicholson who can actually act, and play differing styles. Sandler plays the angry guy well - but can't do anything else. James is funny, but not a dramatic actor. This film is going to die flat-out!
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If you combine George Hamilton's bronze performance from "Love at first bite" with his "Zorro the Gay Blade", that should just about do it... maybe a dash of Leslie Nielson from "Dead and loving it".
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You'd think these lazy writers would realize that in this information age, it is all too easy for people to find out that their "great new idea" for a movie was ALREADY filmed in Australia in 2004:
Strange Bedfellows.
A struggling widower businessman (Paul Hogan) finds a new tax loophole offered in Australia to same sex couples. Needing a tax break, he cajoles his best friend (Michael Caton), also a widower, into filing papers indicating they are a gay couple living together and assuring him that the small town (population 652) they live in will never have a clue. However, their return letter from the government pops open and the town busybody (Monica Maughan) soon has it spread all over town without the two men's knowledge. Meanwhile, the letter tells the men that a tax inspector (Pete Postlewaite) will be coming to investigate their claim. The two decide they have to learn to act gay, so they get lessons from a local hair dresser and visit a gay nightclub in Sydney. Contains adult situations and sexual dialog. -
There was already a plot concerning this very same issue, health benefits and all. But I do enjoy a good gay farce featuring hetero dudes, so why not?
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I'm in.
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This has been around since back when they tried to make "Brokeback" with Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Gus Van Sant back in '98 or so. It was supposed to be a vehicle to team up Will Smith and...Ben Affleck. That's weird. And now after almost a decade in development, not only does "Brokeback Mountain" finally come together (with a lower budget than it would have had had it been made at any other point in its gestation) with a great team working to produce a great film but it has also managed to catch the public's attention (and in a largely positive fashion, no less). And this is the big pay-off. Not to sound *too* hysterical and reactionary, but I have to think that the only appropriate reception for an endeavor as cynical and mean-spirited as I feel this to be would be for it to be an exceptionally embarassing blackmark on the careers of everyone involved. (Which would be saying something in some cases.) Not just for it to be ignored, but for it to be visibly, publicly, and universally reviled by critics and audiences alike. All that said, at least they picked the right director for the material. As Dan Savage recently noted, homophobia is rooted in and born out of misogyny. Just like "Wedding Crashers," which, aside from the rampant misogyny and ceasless mugging its stas, was completely unremarkable. Almost every joke in the movie was condescending, tired, xenophobic, and/or lazy. A foul-mouthed granny? *AND* she's played by Ellen Albertini-Dow? How much more paint by numbers can a movie be? Fuck this movie.
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Yeah, I should have proofread that *before* I hit "Post."
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Wow, this Talkback really went of on an odd tangent.
I don't know how Adam Sandler would be able to pull "I Now Pronounce..." off - this could EASILY become another BOAT TRIP, with "obviously straight" characters attempting to conform to "obvious homosexual stereotypes". Ha ha! Pink clothing! Interior decorating! Will & Grace! They must be gay!
------>PS, tho, the best name for a gay vampire romp: Scruffy, the Vampire Layer. -
so don't get overly excited about their involvement... besides, this sounds terrible.
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It's a direct rip off of a Paul Hogan film released in Oz, called STRANGE BEDFELLOWS!
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What's the problem? With the actors, director and writers involved we should be stoked and save the usual talkback fanboy cynicism for a worthy target. Obviously Sandler can do a great comedy. Kevin James is extremely funny on his sitcom, his standup is great and he was damn good in Hitch. Mix in the director of Wedding Crashers and they can pull off even that simple, even trite, plot with ease.
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There already IS a gay vampire movie starring Tom Cruise. It's called "Interview With The Vampire."
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and instantly dated.
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So it makes perfect sense that they would have to pretend to be gay to get benefits instead. In the sequel to this film, they become police officers, but they have to pretend to be gay or else they can't get any overtime pay.
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If nothing else, it'll put a new twist on fellatio.
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Things we know a million times f-ing over. 1. This is not a fresh premise. 2. This isn't at all like Brokeback. 3. You people don't read before posting. 4. Asses 5. Numbering stuff is for OCD suffering jackasses 6. No good man ever leaves Washington D.C. oh, and did I mention "Asses"?
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Blecch. I can't believe I once liked Adam Sandler. Still love Billy Madison and Wedding Singer, though.
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I can't believe I once liked Adam Sandler. This is so bad I can hardly believe it, but Wedding Singer and Billy Madison still rock! And "I wish I could quit you, Happy Gilmore" is so much funnier than anything in the movie will be. The sarcastic scenarios posted here are likely very close to the real "script."
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They are actually gay (And even then it will probably suck). Otherwise this will be a string of un-funny gay jokes that wore out their welcome in the mind 90's. www.unseenfilms.com
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Though I love Payne
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Apparently quite a lot of other people did, too, accordnig to the $200 milliion it made at the box office in this country alone.
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Ever see the audience at an Adam Sandler concert? Imagine how greatly improved the American gene-pool would be if they could somehow be sterilized.
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AP: Thanks for saying so. They pretty much hired us, we wrote them a whole new script and then they got rid of it all. All of our jokes and all of the character stuff. We were hired to make the people human beings and to give a reality to it and they took it all out and made a theme park ride out of it.
M: Did they use anything of yours?
AP: Oh yeah, the part where Bill Macy -
I agree with you, but I'm surprised you didn't mention the gay character in Wedding Crashers, who of course tries to rape one of our beloved smartass heroes (I forget which one). You know, because he's gay, and you know how gay guys can't control themselves from forcing themselves on straight guys. Happens every day. I couldn't believe that character, they played him like Peter Lorre. It seemed like a character that could only exist in a time when gay people were completely underground and maybe some paranoid straight person would imagine them like that. I mean I like the Sideways guys but I don't trust the hack behind that piece of shit to pull off an asshole sounding premise like this.
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It will only be good if they both turn out to be gay in the end and were just posing as straight guys posing as a gay couple but secretly gay in the first place!
THIS I COMMAND!
GFY -
He wasn't crazy because he was gay. He was just batshit crazy. There are plenty of odd, potentially psychotic wannabe artists out there. Making him gay and interested in Vince just created good tense comic situations.
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i.e., "He went all BROKEBACK on his ass," or "Don't get all BROKEBACK on my ass," or "I'll BROKEBACK your muther-effin' ass." Junk like that.
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...on fellatio you talked about has been done already. Reanimator, perhaps?
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Come on, you know they're chomping at the bit to release their pent-up homo erotic feelings for each other.
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Oh wait, they already did that with Billy Zane in "The Phallus", er, I mean, "The Phantom".
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You're assuming you know the sexual orientation of that reanimated corpse. I want gay zombies, dammit!
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i hope they make this and then they spin it like they did brokeback: "you know, this is really not a movie about gay issues--it's a movie about benefits, and the story of two people who happen to be seeking them. to call this a 'gay' movie reveals a very limited worldview and doesn't do service to the themes this film tackles."
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I am so bored. If this is Hollywood's trend, they will have sealed their fate with declining box office receipts. It's just not interesting or creative or fun. It's just plain narcissism and flavor o' the month. Brokeback was this year's Philidelphia or Kramer vs Kramer or Looking for Mr. Goodbar- although watching these films wasn't like watching paint dry.
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Know what I mean, Vern?!
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The problem with this premise is that it will now throw the idea of homosexual equality back the perhaps 100 feet it gained through the amazing film like Brokeback. I'll be the first to admit that I love laughing at everything. I love a good jok, but I don't like snickers because two men accidentally touch hands and don't know what to do about it so they make fun of it. The heart of this premise beckons the audience to laugh at something very serious, very real, and very precious. Now, why aren't their gay people making films where they pretend to be straight and they laugh at all the 'straight things' they have to do. This isn't funny, being gay isn't funny, laughing at the isms of a community isn't funny, especially when there are still kids committing suicide and men being attacked with hatchets because of the love they freely express for members of their same sex. This will make being gay laughable, icky, and intolerable. The gay community [the healthy aspect of it] has worked too hard and have traveled too far to watch the clock be turned back so quickly.
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I'm sure he can find work he's qualified for: Burger King, Wendy's, McDonalds, ...
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Hey, you knew someone would say it.
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and Alec Baldwin as the Scout Master hitting on him?
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Great little interview of Alexander Payne. And it's especially gratifying to hear Payne praise 'Spider-Man 2'. It's such a great movie, and judging by the way it gets slagged by some of the people on the talkback, I can't help but feel that it's too good for the immature fanboys for whom it was intended. Greatest superhero movie ever, and the capstone to Raimi's career. (Still hoping Spidey 3 tops it, though)
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Can we keep this thread on track? It's about Jurassic Park III people!
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IS there anyone out there who is a fan of Adam Sandler? Christ all of his movies suck and they all involve a scene of him either spearing or powerbombing someone and screaming obnoxiously loud. In other words, lowbrow to the lowest common denominator. Kevin James, on the other hand, is definitely funny and deserves a high paying career, just don't make movies in the vein of Sandler. Oh and does anyone else think he wears a hair piece?
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Why are you looking at the post? The title says it all.
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Yes, Sandler movies suck. He's the Jerry Lewis of our times. Yes, Kevin James is very very funny and deserves a big movie career. And yes, he wears a piece.
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Why you have to bring ignorant right-wing conservative bullshit into every movie discussion? Your 'prediction' about what the movie will be just shows up your own homophobic 'agenda'. If your that wary of JewLiberalFag Hollywood, then why don't you just watch "The Green Berets" over and over again and leave the rest of us to move on?
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...tear
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Cant believe nobody's come up with that yet..wait, yes I can...I'm uber creative with wordplay...
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Silly me, I had thought it was _informed_ right-wing conservative bullshit. You know, to counter the "informed" (read: elite) left-wing liberal bullshit thrown around a hella lot more than the right-wing conservative bullshit. Have you read any of the headings on the main page recently? Show me one that's conservative and I'll show you a Talkbacker that really, really wants to fellate you in the most romantic way.
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Why so much anger? Its a COMEDY that plays on homosexuality for laughs..I hope their charactors are total flamers; because total flamers turn me on...oh wait, its Adam Sandler and Kevin James..funny guys but neither give me wood.
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