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The Rock? And A Monkey? Perhaps There Is A God!!

Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Y’know, I almost don’t care if this is true or not, just as long as I get to close my eyes tonight and dream about the magic that might be...

Hey Harry and the team,

Clint Eastwood step aside. The Rock is going to bring back Clyde the Monkey! "Every Which Way But Loose" remake happening, says StarPulse.

Read the original story here!!

Somewhere tonight, Mr. Beaks is dancing and singing and praising whatever divine being he believes in.

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:42 a.m. CST

    monkeys

    by thanner

    woohoo!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:44 a.m. CST

    2nd

    by heywood_jablomy8

    second, and monkeys!!!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:48 a.m. CST

    With Peter Berg at the helm I predict an Oscar for everyone invo

    by TequilaMocking

    This is like the second coming of Christ, only cooler. With monkeys.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:50 a.m. CST

    In all seriousness...

    by TequilaMocking

    If The Rock played it straight and beat the living shit out of people...I can't even begin to explain how brilliant this movie would be. It's so great Universal may begin to cry at all the money they've invested in him that will be null and void once a monkey enters the equation. "I'll wake you up when I get home..."

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:53 a.m. CST

    At last! I can now die a happy man...

    by Hung-Wei Lo

    ..oh, wait. I was talking about poontang. Huh? You thought I was talking about this movie?! I can smell what the Dwayne is cookin', and it smells like monkey shit -- even though an orangutan isn't categorically a monkey. All you people who want to tell me to give it a chance before I bash on it, can kiss my pimply, mole-infested, harry ass. Oops -- non-audible Freudian slip. I meant hairy ass.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Changing Clint to the Rock, they might as well change the chimp

    by GingerTwit

    It might be inspired.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:07 a.m. CST

    Story is all effed up.....

    by Hairy Nutsack

    The Rock is playing Clyde. "Right turn Clyde!" POW!!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:45 a.m. CST

    This actually might be the most inspired remake idea in quite a

    by dr_buggerlugs

    Probably a load of rubbish but I bet somewhere, somehow, an exec has started plotting...

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:53 a.m. CST

    oboy! another remake

    by Wee Willie

    I'll NEVER see.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:56 a.m. CST

    If this movie has The Rock punchin' a chimp, I can die a hap

    by Miracleman

    Damn chimps got it comin.'

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:58 a.m. CST

    Man...

    by Demon Disco

    I'd pay to see The Rock spank his monkey for two hours.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:02 a.m. CST

    another monkey movie remake

    by CuervoJones

    that says a lot about Hollywood

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:06 a.m. CST

    whats next? a remake of THE GAUNTLET with keanu reeves and sandr

    by Spacesheik

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:07 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT remake with Kiefer Suth

    by Spacesheik

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: THE BEGUILED gets remade with Jim Carrey as the c

    by Spacesheik

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:13 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: PLAY MISTY FOR ME gets remade with Michael Dougla

    by Spacesheik

    "a thriller about sexual obsession" said director adrian lyne about the upcoming film

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:15 a.m. CST

    *ahem*

    by Ridge

    CAAAAAAAAAAN YOU SMELL WHAT CLYYYYYYYYYYYYYDE IS COOKIN!!!!! No but I can sure smell what the execs are smokin...

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:22 a.m. CST

    Remake The Getaway

    by EyeofPolyphemus

    With Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. i don't think the gods are angry at us enough....

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:29 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: THE EIGER SANCTION remade with Viggo Mortensen an

    by Spacesheik

    Fox's 2007 marketing motto for the film: "Go Climb a rock!"

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:32 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: FIREFOX remake stars Val Kilmer and Ian Mckella

    by Spacesheik

    "Ride the 'Fox!" is Paramount's 2007 tag for the upcoming thriller.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:38 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: TIGHTROPE remade with Michael Douglas as the prot

    by Spacesheik

    Brad Grey, Chairman of Paramout stated "We are delighted to have one of the premier stars of this era, Michael Douglas play the protagonist of our remake of TIGHTROPE and play the kind of role he does so well: kinky, sexually obsessed middle aged cops who like to show their arses onscreen. He is our Jeremy Irons!"

  • Oh, and left turn Clyde.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:41 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: BRONCO BILLY remake to star Billy Bob Thornton

    by Spacesheik

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:43 a.m. CST

    This is a good fake story

    by Vern

    And underneath it is another good fake one about Under Siege 3. If you go to their source, moviehole.net, you will find an actual true story about Seagal filming a movie in New Orleans. And then if you look it up on imdb it's not there but there's another Seagal picture by the same writer called HARVESTER, which is a sci-fi movie featuring some sort of "alien queen." This one's already in postproduction so it probaly won't be another SUBMERGED situation where they take all the mutants out. These are interesting times we're living in, my friends. Steven Seagal is going to space.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Great movie premise

    by IrishJoe

    Check this out its a great movie premise http://www.writersstories.com/stories.asp

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 4:53 a.m. CST

    The original Monkey will be playing Clint's part...

    by Boba Fat

    and the Rock is playing Clyde. He's living with a group of orangutans at the moment so he can get the raspberries and the finger just right.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 5:15 a.m. CST

    Brokeback and Lightfoot

    by REDD

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 5:20 a.m. CST

    It is soooo sad

    by SickPuppy

    Like I said

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 5:29 a.m. CST

    Redneck Biker Nazis!!

    by TheBoyFromUlster

    A seriously underused character in films these days I think....."Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will chew on Philo Beddoe's ass for my last supper!" Though I hear that WETA have started working on Clyde already, there using Harry for the composite rendering!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 5:51 a.m. CST

    Clyde and the Rock are acting royalty

    by Drunken Rage

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:07 a.m. CST

    Talk about non-news

    by Trazadone

    Seriously, is there a single person who cares about this?

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:08 a.m. CST

    Iliked Walking Tall, I probably will like this.

    by Shermdawg

    Now if someone would just make a cool Smokey and the Bandit remake with Clooney as Reynolds, and Robert Duvall as Gleason.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:09 a.m. CST

    They should get Eastwood to direct and star in this.

    by Chief Redcock

    It'd be a great return to form after the fiasco that was Million Dollar Baby.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:13 a.m. CST

    WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN OSCAR NOMINATIONS?!

    by jig98

    i wanna know!! i don't wanna be kept in suspense! where are they?

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:43 a.m. CST

    I wonder if they will have Hulk Hogan playing the monkey...

    by NubtheSquirrel

    I also wonder if we'll have the Rock speaking in 3rd person in this one. "Clyde, you better know your role, and SHUT your mouth before The Rock goes through you like Ex Lax through your fat ass mama and kicks your monkey ass all over this arena! The Rock says that I am the MOST electrifying man in film making today and you will never, AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER, ever oversahdow the millions AMD MILLIONS of the Rock's fans, IF YE SMELLLL WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKING!" I can't wait for this movie!!!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Oscar Noms

    by Grando

    13:30 GMT

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:53 a.m. CST

    I think this falls into the AICN "GET SOME HARD FACTS BEFORE YOU

    by Negative Man

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Anyone else interested in a possible Rey Mysterio title reign? (

    by Negative Man

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Vern.....Steven Seagal is going to space

    by Mr Cairo

    cool when he comes back we should all be wearing monkey masks :) ... the danger of this remake is the Rock may get outacted by the monkey

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:15 a.m. CST

    It's going to be a "remake" it's going to be a "reimagin

    by Slugworth

    In fact, I here its going to be more faithful to the source material than the original.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:24 a.m. CST

    the clyde movies

    by emeraldboy

    Were two of the worst things eastwood ever did, those ans pink cadillac with Charlie Sheen and Heartbreak Ridge, which ranks as one of worst films I have ever seen.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Watching wrestling doesn't make you a geek.

    by Grando

    It makes you a fucking loser.

  • Fucking endless remakes.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Y The Last Man- Thank God it's not that

    by DannyOcean01

    Haven't checked all the TB, but did anyone nearly have a heart attack thinking this was about a Y The Last Man film???

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:06 a.m. CST

    I'll be happy with this remake as long as...

    by SouthSide_2010

    They keep the original ending intact and they maintain the country music theme throughout the entire film. Hey Philo Beddoe was a counry boy, let's see The Rock lace up them boots...

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:14 a.m. CST

    "A man and his monkey, now that's a concept I can't get

    by Anna Valerious

    I still think people are monkey-obsessed.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Start your whining! No visual fx Oscar for Uncle George's Ep

    by DutchFudge

    Just thought I'd mention that.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:16 a.m. CST

    McDonald's ads?

    by squidman

    Now Harry's getting McDonald's money!?! "I'd like to open a new account, please. Why, yes, I'd like it super-sized."

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Man, aintitcool's gettin fat and lazy...

    by redtom

    ... Oscars already annonced and no story? Come on....

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:42 a.m. CST

    yup

    by Jaffa8

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:44 a.m. CST

    AICN used to be about sneak previews, privte screenings, rough p

    by Spacesheik

    they manage to post the first rough cut review of film in ages (LADE IN THE WATER) and then withdrew it after 2 days. i been a member here for 10 years and its heyday was late 90s - it was relevant and groundbreaking, it scared the living shit out of hollywood, now its become a comfortable part of it - its sad really.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:44 a.m. CST

    The Rock was VIOLATED by a monkey...

    by Amazing Inframan

    ...in THE RUNDOWN. An EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE remake has *great* potential.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Right turn, Clyde.

    by Chastain-86

    A little known fact about this remake -- in memoriam of the original movie, they plan on also beating the NEW Clyde to death shortly after filming, just like the original. Hollywood -- Keeping It Real.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Monkeys and Munich

    by TheBoyFromUlster

    Stop whining about the Oscar Noms, Harrys in his green leotard doing the motion capture for clyde..... Glad to see Munich with a best film nod though, thought it was brilliant, still thinking about it a few days later, always a sign of a good film. One of Spielbergs best. Eric Bana should of got a nomination though, he was immence in it. Fucking Academy monkeys, but as much clue Clyde.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 9:57 a.m. CST

    THE CONSTANT GARDENER was robbed

    by Spacesheik

    brilliant fucking film, unnerving and moving

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Remakes

    by Fievel

    Everytime a remake is filmed, God kills a puppy.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 12:09 p.m. CST

    All I know is Chuck Norris does not 'tea-bag' the ladies

    by LargoJr

    He potato sacks them. I get the urge to fly back to Holly-weird and kill everything that moves when I hear about all the crap-assed re-makes they keep squirting out of their pustule ridden sphincters.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 12:14 p.m. CST

    "WE ARE THE BLACK WIDOWS !!!!....WE ARE FEARED THOUGHOUT THE LA

    by zathras34

    gotta have the bikers...love it!!! "ARE WE BAD MOTHERS....WE ARE BAD MOTHERS"..I was I think 9 when the original 2 came out..They were just fun movies as a kid...AND WHO WILL PLAY GRANDMA???.... one more time.."WE ARE THE BLACK WIDOWS !!!!....WE ARE FEARED THOUGHOUT THE LAND!!!"

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 12:26 p.m. CST

    No... No... NOOO!

    by moviemaniac-7

    Not a fucking remake! Make a sequel!! There are numerous untold stories about fist-fighting men and their monkey!! Continue the franchise and leave the original Clyde alone!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 12:48 p.m. CST

    YES! Now this I WANT to see!

    by ewokstew

    Sign me up for several servings of the Rock punching out wig wearing Nazi Bikers with a beer guzzling Orangutan at his side.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:01 p.m. CST

    please

    by dylanflannelcat

    what the hell? and why?

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 1:57 p.m. CST

    don't be ridiculous.

    by mocky_puppet

    there's no god, rock+monkey or no! that's why we make movies--to distract us from the bleak, meaningless, valueless exercise that is life as a random function of chemical glop on a wet rock. god may live in your mind but he dies when you do. the stupid santists don't even have it right--"do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"--huh? what's will? you guys are crackpots. there's no will. there's no anything. particles decaying. that's the whole story. but i did like "the rundown"; the rock is very charismatic!

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Orangutangs are not monkeys

    by MrD

    That is all

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:34 p.m. CST

    I oppose this movie because I think using primates for entertain

    by FluffyUnbound

    Oh, and I think that it's mean to the orangutan, too.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:36 p.m. CST

    the rock should just remake monkey

    by Mr Cairo

    now that would be cool the rock on a flying cloud kicking demon ass although he would probably shag tripitaka .....

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 2:48 p.m. CST

    TalkBack Jay Sherman knows for a fact

    by DOGSOUP

    "It'll Stink"

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:41 p.m. CST

    They should produce another sequel instead of a remake.

    by Barry Egan

    Have Clin'ts character train the Rock in bare knuckle fights. Hell, Clint could play Frankie Dunne again. Then they could let Clint beat Sandra Locke to death. It would be like The Color of Money with an ape.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 3:57 p.m. CST

    In all seriousness, I think they should make another Firefox fli

    by Doc_Strange

    Clint can be the guy who sends the new actor to steal an experimental aircraft. Only this time as opposed to thinking for the weapons to fire, the entire aircraft is controlled by the pilot's thoughts, kind of like Macross plus.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 4:11 p.m. CST

    It's about damn time Rock acted opposite someone in his leag

    by www.valiens.com

    I wonder what the love-making scene will look like. Wait. No I don't.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Mr Cairo

    by reignman79

    Tripitaka was a dude. Although, The Rock would be a bigger, darker version of Masaaki Saki (guy who played monkey) if he let his sideburns grow like he used to.

  • Jan. 31, 2006, 11:43 p.m. CST

    I wonder how that "DIRTY HARRY" video game is coming along, with

    by JDanielP

    I think it's a cool thing, ...actors such as Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, and Clint Eastwood lending their voices to video games based on their popular flicks. At least in video games, they never age (unless that's the intent).

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 4:17 a.m. CST

    Breaking News: Colin Farrel to star in remake of Sondra Locke&#3

    by Spacesheik

    Stacy Snider of Universal: "We are overjoyed at having Colin Farrel join the wonderful team we already have in place for the remake of Sondra Locke's RATBOY

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 5:30 a.m. CST

    reignman79 ........ Tripitaka was a dude but

    by Mr Cairo

    he was played by a chick in the series.

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Re:The Orangutan should be all CGI

    by Behemoth

    Classic.

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 9:01 a.m. CST

    I once smelled what the Rock was cookin'...

    by Behemoth

    True story. I attended a WWF match in the second row years ago. The Rock spent a lot of time outside of the ring during his fight. The dude was covered in sweat almost immediately and the stench coming off his hulk was almost unbearable. Just being near him left the kind of reek in my clothes that could only be cleansed by fire.

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 9:36 a.m. CST

    ooh, nice little tidbit there Mr Cairo

    by reignman79

    What a weird looking chic though... looked like the kid from that Eddie Murphy flick, The Golden Child. Hey, maybe the can remake that movie, starring Tripitaka, and call it The Golden Shower... or not.

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 1:03 p.m. CST

    The trainers killed the real Clyde

    by hulkhogan

    No joke. It wasn't a bunch of kids like some other poster said. Actor apes are usually beaten into oblivion, and the poor Clyde was no exception. He was severly beaten by his trainers and died a month later. I hope this movie does not get made because ape actors are treated too cruelly. If it is remade -- use animatronics/CGI.

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 1:25 p.m. CST

    the twist is that the Rock plays Clyde!

    by captain_kirk

    That's right, the orangutan in the movie will be the fighter, and the Rock will make out with female orangs in the zoo. It's quite avant garde. And let's face it, this idea, if it is true, is so scathingly stupid. Final beef: an orangutan is a great ape, a primate. NOT a monkey. Monkeys are primates, yes, but are not necessarily found in the same dwelling areas. There are 3 (maybe 4) species of great apes, depending on how you count: chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, and humans. Gibbons and Siamangs (brachiators that swing in trees) are closer to monkeys genetically, and they are known as "lesser apes". Of the 186 or so primate species, some are neither apes nor monkeys, but rather more rodent like (such as the tarsier). Anyone need more of a lesson? Kirk Out

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 1:29 p.m. CST

    news just in: clyde to be played by Kong!

    by captain_kirk

    That's right, Andy Serkis will be reprising his role as King Kong, who will play the new Clyde. In this movie, the Rock's Philo Beddo battles dinosaurs and penis-slug-worms

  • Feb. 1, 2006, 5:15 p.m. CST

    This is just lame

    by Doc_Strange

    Rock, seriously, stop trying to make movies. You belong in the ring as the people's champ, not trying to be an actor because no one wants to see you in the movies. The last three flops you had should have been proof of that. Not only that, you're next movie is being directed by John Woo who hasn't made a good American movie yet. Spy Hunter? Anyone have a real interest in seeing that? It's shaping up to be like Stealth all over again. I guarantee this movie will bomb.

  • Feb. 2, 2006, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Panterarocks, apparently Clyde was tortured during the making of

    by FluffyUnbound

    The trainers kicked his ass to make sure he stayed docile. Poor fucking animal. Just remember, whenever you watch either of those movies, if you laugh at one of the scenes Clyde is in, between takes his trainer was beating him with an axe handle. I hope that trainer dies of the most painful and lengthy cancer possible.

  • Feb. 2, 2006, 5:12 p.m. CST

    The Rock in "Every Which Way But A Plot" or "Every Which Way Bu

    by R.C. the "Wise"

  • Feb. 2, 2006, 11:28 p.m. CST

    What tthe hell?

    by Doc_Strange

    Wasn't there a humane society agent on set in between filming to make sure the animals were well treated? Damn.