Cool News
Lucas firms up the date for the year he hopes to perhaps have INDIANA JONES 4 ready!
Hey folks, Harry here... Don't you love George Lucas? I do too. In an apparent press release, that comes on the heels of Harrison Ford's ultimatum about when he's got to do another Indiana Jones adventure... Lucas has come out saying that he hopes to give us the next INDIANA JONES adventure in... 2007. That's comforting. I'm glad that they are continuing to write and write and write and write and write and write. Having just read Frank Darabont's amazing script for Stephen King's MIST - I just can't imagine that his script wasn't... instantly ready to shoot. I mean. He really is that good. Oh well - MTV.com has the full story - so go over and break out the #2 pencil and put INDIANA JONES 4 - somewhere randomly in 2007. Cool? Awesome!
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I'm not above it
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I think Sir Steven and Harrison are great together, but for the love of God Ford is like 66 years old. It might be beyond his physical limitations.
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let the games begin!
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I read his draft of Indy IV, and it was nowhere near being "ready to shoot." Bash Lucas all you like but in this instance he made the right call (the arrogance of that awful Lucas fellow, wanting to get the screenplay right before going into production. What a fool). Frank Darabont makes a swell geekboy, but as a screenwriter he's overrated in the extreme.
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fun.
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i'm nervous about this, but not too much. i think at worst, this will be like alien 4. mildly entertaining and too far away, time wise, to ruin the series. that's at worst. i hope these old farts knock this the fuck out of the park.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:35:06 AM CST
I'm looking forward to seeing Indiana Jones and the Search f
by capt. murphy
I loved Indiana Jones, but this is an insult to the franchise IMO, unless they decide to use another actor who is younger and more believable as an adventurer.
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The only question left to be answered is whether or not Moses needed to put tennis balls on the rubber pads for his walker or not.
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This is fun...
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Just lost all faith at this point. Plus you just gotta figure the longer they take writing it (and how long have then been at it now?), the less enthuthiastic Spielberg and Ford are gonna be about the film. Sure, they signed onto Darabont's script, but I bet a lot of that had to do with there being a bit of energy and excitement involved with the project as well as liking the script. 2 years later (and 2 years older), that's probably dissapated quite a bit, tack another year onto this and that early excitement is probably gonna turn into quiet resentment.
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Indy whipping up the Sleestaks! With animatronic dinosaurs! And time portals! With Nazis! The only way to improve upon THAT premise would be to have Boba Fett make an appearance and cross genres. It'd be like printing money.
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I can't wait.
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Wherein Indie discovers his own tomb and promptly buries himself in it, taking Short Round with him.
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I HATE that more than anything.
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LOLOLOLOL!!!!111!!!OMGOMGOMG!!!111!!!
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Umm indy 4 great on paper, bad idea unless they go for the Indy training up a new guy but then that really defeats the point doesnt it.
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Wherein he achieves immortality waiting for his next script, complete with more tapestry viewing with a terrible Scottish accent. With Nazis.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:52:42 AM CST
I hope they use all the tools of film making at their disposal!!
by modlight
Like King Kong, War of the Worlds, and any number of other movies of late I hope that take the characters and story and place them in the back seat, and just let it be one effects scene after another. I mean who needs suspense and plot if you have powerful effects. Not boring at all. In fact I think that Indiana should literally be running through the entire movie. Right Peter Travers of Rolling Stone?
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Jan 19, 2006 11:53:29 AM CST
indiana jones and the lost prescription for stool softener.
by dr.bulber
ugh.
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To think that Indiana Jones at 66 would not still be attempting to do exatly what he was doing in his 40's just means you don't understand his character. Now if Harrison Ford, the actor, was in a wheelchai or had suffered a stroke or something, I'd say there would be a problem with him portraying the character of Indiana Jones. But he's not and he didn't. Harrison Ford is a healthy 66 year old man. Bottom line: Indy at 66 is just a little slower and more cantankerous that he was 20 years ago back in Raiders.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:54:17 AM CST
ok, I admit...I wish I had come up with that one on 'Raiders
by judas booth
That one was good. I'll give you those kudos.
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I mean, come on...look at the earring? Indy should NOT wear an earring.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:56:51 AM CST
There was a time when this news would've been exciting to me
by trazadone
Not any more. Ford's too old and really, how difficult can it be to write another one? I don't buy all this nonsense about the endless writing. This is not an overly complicated film franchise. Just put on the freakin' hat and go explore some ancient ruins already!
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It seems like Nazis are the only politically correct villain to go after.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:58:58 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ... again. (Sorry, Alzheimer&
by squidman
it's a joke ... lighten up before you attack, please.
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He's fucking dead to me.
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so there.
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WoTW and Kong were character driven, WoTW for sure. Maybe as a parent I was locked into Ray's journey, or held my breath every time his daughter was in danger, but to me the effects were in the background. I'm not saying the film was perfect, but up to the time spent in Tim Robbin's basement I found it to be picture perfect. I've rarely felt horror like I did with that movie. As far as Kong goes, it had a heart, unlike say, ID4, any Michael Bay movie, etc. Sure it's not Capone, one of my favorites from last year, but it's not just fluff. Directors who can use the lastest effects to take us places we've never been, and give us an engaging story are rare, and Speilberg and Jackson are two of the best. They are combining everything about modern filmmaking and bringing it to the screen. That's a great reason to make a film instead of a play.
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I personally didn't care at all for WotW, but I thought that there was plenty of character in Kong. Granted, there were a few places, especially in the middle section, where the special effects took over a little too much, but the first act and the third act were largely character pieces that happened to involve cgi.
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You're right, this is fun.
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nothing serious to add here.
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Harrison needs a hit again. It's been HOW LONG since he starred in a bona fide hit movie? Years? He NEEDS this movie to happen and restore some of his clout. That new flick of his coming out, 'Firewall', looks like every other thriller I've seen for the past 10 years, and it'll probably suck to high heaven. I wonder what he gets to star in a movie nowadays, as I'm sure that his price tag has gone down somewhat.
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Coming soon.
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Personally, the ongoing delays are fairly comforting as I've never thought the idea of a fourth Indy to be a very good one. There are numerous reasons why another instalment would be unappealing, and very few I can think of that would justify going back and reviving a franchise that, for me, exists perfectly as it is. I know there are those that don't care as much for TEMPLE OF DOOM and LAST CRUSADE, but whilst they may not match the sheer brilliance of RAIDERS, they're still pretty damn good, and it's a rare summer blockbuster that can compare these days. But perhaps more importantly than negatively impacting the memory of the original trilogy, another Indy simply cannot be viewed as the next best step for Spielberg, who is becoming more and more interesting with every passing year and probably operating at his creative peak right about now. It would be unfortunate if the production of another Indy halted the kind of diverse, often challenging cinema Spielberg has been producing this decade. There is still no more divisive film in recent times than A.I., no summer blockbuster as smart or packed with ideas than MINORITY REPORT, few entertainments as satisfying as CATCH ME IF YOU CAN. Even THE TERMINAL is not the simple, benign trifle many dismissed it as being, smuggling in suggestions of life in an entrenched state under a totalitarian regime in the form of a simple comedy (think about it and it makes sense). WAR OF THE WORLDS was about as tough a popcorn movie can be, and its obvious allusions to 9/11 can be seen as paving the way for the films that focus specifically on the war on terror coming later this year and the many that will inevitably follow beyond. MUNICH is his most mature, provocative work yet, a film unlikely to be fully appreciated for some time. It must be said that another Indy would only be of real benefit to Harrison Ford at the moment who is in severe danger of seeing his career slip into obscurity (if there can be such a thing as big-budget, studio-produced obscurity! I know he has FIREWALL coming out in a few weeks, and I know I will see it, but is anyone willing to bet that that's gonna be particularly remarkable?) I really have no idea what lucas plans for the coming years. He's repeatedly spoken of returning to the experimental, form-challenging filmmaking he was enamoured with at the begininng of his career, but does he really have it in him? There must be very real questions of his ability to come up with anything new outside of the worlds he's created in existing franchises, which would explain his apparent compulsuion to continue going back to the well. I just can't believe there's any genuine desire to go back to Indy, even among the fans. I could be wrong, but I can't help but feeling that if this was going to happen, it would've happened by now anyway, and the sooner a line is drawn under the issue, the better it will probably be for everyone.
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The Diapers of Doom! With Nazis.
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The exam given by Nazis, of course.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:15:23 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the...wait what were we talking about again?
by somethingreal81
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Jan 19, 2006 12:17:20 PM CST
Lucas ditching Darabont's draft for his own is not a step up
by shaner jedi
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They were stock film stereotypes who we knew would either live or die, there for rendering the suspense of the movie useless. We knew who would live or die and thus any scene with action was merely a pedestal for the effects not to advance the story which was proven that to get out of it the sailors always showed up and saved them. It was cinematic masterbation and had that film been made by Michael Bay, you people would have crucified it.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:18:47 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Incredibly Over-Thin Costar of Doom
by judas booth
Come on...you KNOW that Callista will costar in it? She'll play the love interest that Indy must save from the Nazis. Wait and see, wait and see....
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Jan 19, 2006 12:19:11 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for the Midlife Crisis Earring
by modlight
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Please, tell us more of Mist. It's my favourite King novella. When I was wee(er), I got a radio play of it on CD, starring William Sadler, which was cool and creepy and all the dialogue was cheerfully expositiony in that old-time way.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:20:05 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Retirement Village of High Cholesterol, Os
by jerri blank
This is a bad idea. The trilogy ended perfectly, with Indy and his pop riding off into the sunset together. Please don
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Some very valid points, modlight. You DID know who was gonna live or die. Part of that comes from the fact that it's a remake, so the story is known already. Part of it comes from the formula that the plot requires and knowing who the expendibles are. Still, this movie was shot with a much better eye than the dreaded Michael Bay could ever do. If Bay had done this, there wouldn't have been any shot longer than a half a second, for one thing...he needs to take some ritalin when editing his films.
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Ever. Even if it were great I don't want it. They rode off into the fucking sunset and I never want to know what happened later. He rode into legend like Rick Blaine into the fog. Please don't ruin Indiana Jones.
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Lucas is just waiting for the technology to advance enough so he can make it more betterer than before. Instead of location shooting and realism everything will be cgi and one of Indy's friends will be completely cgi. During the wait Steven Spielberg will direct 1700 new films. At least 12 of them will be with Tom Cruise. Also Harrison Ford will accidentally lose Calista Flockhart when she falls down a crack in the sidewalk. Lucas will again "fix" the Star Wars movies and the prequels so they can be better and the way he imagined them again. By this time McWeeny and Swan will now be writing the screenplay for IJ4 and Harry will still be attempting to get John Carter made after the 27th director has left to do other stuff. When the movie is finally ready to go Ford will now resemble Abe Vigoda...
GFY -
See, because he's a grandfather, and they send out checks for small amounts of money, mainly because that was a lot of money when they were kids. Good times.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:29:01 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest to Bang Marion One More Time
by judas booth
She was the only Indy-lady of the three that was worth the effort. Kate Capshaw was unwatchable (pretty to look at, though) and single handedly ruined 'Temple of Doom' with her constant screaming. Alison Doody in 'Last Crusade' was pretty to look at too, but was about as exciting as a soggy Chinese dinner entree when it comes to acting...ohh, I'm emoting now! No wonder she disappeared after that movie. Who did she sleep with on the casting couch to land THAT role? No, Marion was a fun foil for Indy to play off of, and they'd be smart to bring her and ONLY her back for Indy 4. She looks a little rough now, though...remember her in 'Perfect Storm'??? Time hasn't been too kind to Karen Allen, and that's a pity.
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I'm imagining Burgess Merideth reciting these titles like he was in Grumpy Old Men.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:31:35 PM CST
For those of you who read Darabont's script, what was the pl
by judas booth
Pray, do tell....
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Jan 19, 2006 12:32:36 PM CST
Short Round has to be middle aged by now. "No time for love Dr.
by big bad clone
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with Nazis. And yes, Burgess would havea fun time reading these off, ala 'Grumpy Old Men'. The end of Indy 4 should have a blooper reel with nothing but Harrison, Steven, and George reading off ALL of our named suggestions. It'd be a hoot...
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and I swear that there are Nazis here, working for the company...
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with fishing Nazis...
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Sorry Indie, the University is axing pension plans, and only a year before your retirement!
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Jan 19, 2006 12:38:56 PM CST
Indiana Jones VS You Damn Kids Get Off of My Lawn and Pull Up Yo
by judas booth
with Nazis.
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I am a big fan of Michael Bay. For one reason he is one of the few filmmakers out there that has a visual style whether you like it or not. You can look at his movies and know that its him. He has made a couple of real stinkers, but if anyone saw the Island he is calming down a bit. I felt that it was one of my favorite movies of the summer for no reason other than it was the only big movie that wasn't an adaptation or remake (and yeah I know about Clonus and Logans Run, but it was way different). I think that people should give him another chance. I guess what I'm saying is that I see a real trend recently where movies are not given time to breath. There is so much that can be done with the technology of film that (to paraphrase Jurassic Park) They can do anything they want they just never stop to ask if they should. Imagine if Quint, Brody,and Hooper all went after the Shark in the first 10 minutes and then it was cgi sharks and water for the next hour and half.. or if Neary dropped his family and went for the aliens right after seeing the the ship. I dunno, I just think that I would have loved to have seen all the resources on Kong used to tell an original story (at the very least and homage to Kong).
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Seriously. Every fucking scene had to be overly color corrected in The Island. This scene would be lit up blue, this one yellow, this one yellow and green, this one pale...it got really fucking old really fucking fast, and it made the whole thing look monstrously fake. It wasn't a bad movie, but the incessant color overcompensation was distracting and annoying.
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Lucas, Harrison Ford, and Spielberg have all grown up. They've matured and become cycnical and have all lost the sense of wonder and fun that made Indy what it was.
Bryan Singer, Tarentino, Peter Jackson and Robert Rodriguez, for all their faults will still be found saying 'Cool!' when they shoot a scene and get excited about what they are doing.
I don't think Lucas has said 'cool!' in 10 years.
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little blue ones.
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Where the HELL did I put those damn little blue pills???
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modlight...don't apologize for liking Michael Bay. Everyone get something different from every movie star, director, story, etc...If you can find enjoyment in his work, then more power to you. It would be a boring world if everyone liked the same stuff. I happen to disagree with you, but I'd never crush you for it. Who says that my opinion is better than yours? This is a question of taste, not in absolutes. It's not like we're disagreeing on whether or not 2 + 2 = 4...this is personal taste. And your comments about letting stories breath is SPOT ON...your analogies on 'Jaws' and 'Close Encounters' were valid. However, I DO feel that Jackson let the story of Kong breathe as much as he could, given that he wanted to essentially remake a film using virtually all of the original story elements. And I'll give Bay another chance if the word comes down that he's made a decent movie. It's not like he's Uwe Boll or something...I do believe that Bay is capable of doing a good movie, he just hasn't yet. Once again, that's my opinion. Cheers, modlight.
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Where yer gut dunlop over yer belt
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Followed by the sequel: Indiana Jones and the Lost Anal Cherry!
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Jan 19, 2006 12:47:30 PM CST
HA HA! these r great indiana jones and the riddle of abbey mcnee
by dr.bulber
indy's a goner in that one. :x
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the Nazis took it...
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Just like all Janusz Kaminski films look like they're shot through a desaturating fog. Those color choices place you in his world. Its glossy and not real and it allows you to believe that people can fall off of a building and live or drive a Hummer through a south american village. Kong tried to be so realisic that when something didn't work it stood out like a sore thumb. And that happened too much for my taste.
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getting... tired
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blech...it doesn't even need Nazis.
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If only Connery hadn't done Indie's dad, otherwise we'd have...Indiana Jones VS Sean Connery! The battle would rage for the whole film after a quick setup! Imagine it: Connery hits him with his walker, but Ford nails him with his oxygen tank! Then Connery falls behind a stack of old magazines for cover and lobs a colostomy grenade at Ford, who loses his balance and falls behind a prickly sofa. He throws his false teeth at Connery, biting him in the ear! Both take five minutes to get back up, and then they're back at it! Ford knocks Connery upside the head with a prescription bottle, and Connery comes back by grabbing the bags around Ford's eyes and yanking! Hell, that could go on forever, or at least until Ford has a stroke, followed quickly by a heart attack on Connery. Dammit for casting Connery as Jones Sr!
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Jan 19, 2006 12:51:03 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest to Get Those Damn Kids to Turn That
by judas booth
You call that music? Why, even Nazis wouldn't listen to that crap...
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Unless INDY IV is set in 1963 during the Kennedy Assassination, no way is anyone going to buy into this flick. Looks like Matt Stone and Trey Parker were more prophetic than they realized with their "Free Hat" episode on SOUTH PARK...
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Jan 19, 2006 12:52:48 PM CST
Maybe it involves Indy meeting an aged Nazi in the Nursing Home.
by durendal
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I think it should be set in modern times with Indy and his Father still alive and strong after drinking from the grail.
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Hey, it's about the right era. Get a haircut, ya damn smelly hippies!
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boxing them Nazis in the ring. Yo, Marion!!!
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Jan 19, 2006 12:54:51 PM CST
Except the Knight in th Last Crusade said that passing the seal
by durendal
So no immortal Indy, although that's not a bad thought.
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Reminds me of the South Park episode where they had a Rod Stewart comeback concert:
"poo pants" 'I'm sorry?' "pooped m' pants" 'are you trying to say that you pooped your pants' "poo pants." -
That's why movies are fun to discuss, because it's all based upon opinion. And I agree on Kaminski. Hell, I'm a big fan of Ridley Scott, but I'm tiring of all of the smoke machines that he uses...you can always tell if it's a Ridley film that way.
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I really should get back to work, but this is too much fun.
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Jan 19, 2006 12:59:42 PM CST
Indiana Jones and all you bitches will eat shit when the movie c
by soulonice
bitches.
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You know, I've been dead set against a fourth Indy film since the idea was first kicked about, but after seeing Harrison on the Globes the other night, I think I've warmed up to the idea...or rather I've decided there's a very specific scenario that I would enjoy seeing play out. What if this were the end cap on Indy's story. WHat if all the issues he had with his own father were revisited upon him? What if he found out Marion had conceived a child way back when and were just meeting him for the first time? What if that child were just like his father, but with Marion's temper? What if Indy suddenly found himself forced to relate to his dad (as played by Sean Connery)? I'd pay to see this movie. And if, at one pouint, a cockily grinning Indy at age 66 decided to try and jump a chasm or swing from his whip, I'd love to see him land painfully on the other side and complain about his knees. Or, better yet, try to do something physical and utterly fail, only to have his able bodied son help him and have to indignantly insist that he could've done it himself. Ford could do a crotchety old adventurer, reluctant to give in to his limitations and even more reluctant to assume the role of father and mentor. It could work. Especially if at some point he turns to his Sean Connery and says, "You know, Dad, I never knew what you meant by some day you'll have kids of your own and you'll understand...until now."
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But...will there be Nazis????? And will they eat shit?????
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Nazi bitches...
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Jan 19, 2006 1:05:48 PM CST
Indiana Jone$ and the Que$t for World Cinematic Domination by Lu
by judas booth
Oh, and an old Harrison Ford is in it. Battling Nazi$.
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on Nazis...
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....that's a good way to shake things up.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:09:54 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the...Oh, Fuck it..You'll Watch Anything W
by judas booth
admit it. Indiana Jones = Asses in seats. The actual plot is insignifigant, as you'll watch anything that's force fed to you, as long as it says 'Indiana Jones' in the title...battling Nazis.
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"Why do the Nazis want this donkey, Dad?"
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And I've only been reading the post titles.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:12:11 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Times were tough and we LIKED 'em that way
by sickpuppy
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YOU KNOW IT AS WELL AS I DO.
BLEH. -
Jan 19, 2006 1:12:27 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest for "the way things used to be".
by heywood jablowme
Waaaahhh!!
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Jan 19, 2006 1:13:57 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for More Matlock Episodes
by heywood jablowme
or Wheel of Fortune. Take your pick.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:16:43 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Dinner Buffet at 4:00 in th
by heywood jablowme
Okay, that was a stretch. Take the advice of Connery (no, not "punch your wife if she gets out of line" or "Buck Futter!") "Indiana, let it go."
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Since Indy and his father drank from the Holy Grail, aren't they immortal now? Couldn't we have a Indy movie set in present day?
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Ford will work cheaper now and they can wrap Callista in bandages and save tons on Mummy cgi effects. ( Hey, I was bored...)
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F Lucas.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:21:36 PM CST
Only the first one is still watchable. In 'DOOM' Capshaw
by hansdelbruck
Shame really. But it's true.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:22:17 PM CST
Indiana Jones and that Smell Inside the Nursing Home
by heywood jablowme
Finally, a nefarious enemy stronger than any Nazi. That smell alone could have brought Hitler down.
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Since something set in the 60's would be weird... let's just have them fight Al Quaida.
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he gets married in that one.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:24:38 PM CST
Fuck Indiana Jones!! There is a script for THE MIST!!!
by godoffireinhell
How can you guys talk about some shitty sequel when Darabont is finally moving ahead with THE MIST?
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...AND I WANNA KNOW NOW!
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http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5256/jones9gv.jpg
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And I've only been reading the post titles.
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Seriously...the effect in 'Last Crusade' are amongst the worst I've ever seen. The blue screen work is laughable at best. Remember the blimp???? There's a movie just ripe for a cgi makeover.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:34:29 PM CST
Just recast the role, already. Give it to Josh Holloway from &#
by judas booth
He's ready to jump ship from 'Lost' and go into feature films. He'd be perfect as Indiana Jones, or even better, as his son. He's got the right attitude to be a perfect adventurer.
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Seriously...the effect in 'Last Crusade' are amongst the worst I've ever seen. The blue screen work is laughable at best. Remember the blimp???? There's a movie just ripe for a cgi makeover.
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Sorry 'bout that. It was the Nazis who did it, honest...
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what will the indy4 toy/statue AICN contest be like? >>who's coming up with a ficticious indy4 title, that has never been written down before?<< gosh, i can't imagine a time without indy4 rumours, and these title phrases talkbacks with tons of age jokes and endless cynical comments ranging from "george lucash already raped my childhood" to "i'll be there with my whip on opening day" attitudes. i thought we were already through with it ... now i think i'm gonna miss it once the ultimate title will be released. i can already see the TBers stand in line dressed with their "han shot first" t-shirts and wearing their fedoras. i think the production process will be pretty amazing around here. if you're all too pessimistic about indy4 then take some time and think about all the poor souls who didn't have the chance to watch RAIDERS, nor TEMPLE, nor LAST CRUSADE in a theater on OPENING DAY. then just keep up some creative trust in what were the gateway filmmakers of your youth and think of what will hopefully be a great 2007...
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it could be a sequel to three men and a baby (blumpkin: to receive oral while taking a dump)
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Jan 19, 2006 1:43:22 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Driving Slowly with His Blinker On in the
by godric
Sorry...I got here late and someone stole my Matlock joke.
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wouldn't even watch it on cable.
"Let it go, Indiana" -
Those of you who know what lutefisk is will understand...it truly IS doom.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:47:13 PM CST
I literally fucking can't get enough of the humorous title i
by citizen arcane
Because he's old! And no one in their 60's has ever been in an action film! You fucking retards.
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Nubobon!!!!
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why not? We'll wheel Ricardo in here to play a South American Nazi trying to resurrect Adolf Hitler with his Genesis torpedo. Charro guest stars.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:48:37 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Hey Citizen Arcane, guys that old don'
by durendal
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Fuck only knows what's going on behind the scenes. All I know is that Lucas had the chance to make the greatest film ever with ROTS but threw a pile of shit at the screen instead.
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I hope they make this so I can see it it bomb... the first Indy flop, a la Rocky V.They should have made this 10 years ago...
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Christ, I don't know where I'm getting these...
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Jan 19, 2006 1:52:05 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Porn Star Hooker Who Still Can't Get a
by judas booth
he needs some Nazi Viagra.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:54:05 PM CST
Maybe Steve will cast Tom Cruise and the delightful Dakota Fanni
by toulouse
Indy becomes discovers he has a daughter from a previous trist and must overcome and resolve their differences. Tom Cruise will have a sequence where he runs really fast.
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P.S. The "Lost AARP" joke has been around a couple years. Still a good one.
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I mean, what do you think the budge would have to be on this? Just paying Lucas, Spielberg, and Ford would put you in the 60million range before a frame was shot. Put in all of their back-end deals for percentages, and you'll be looking at the most expensive movie ever made.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:55:52 PM CST
Harrison Ford in: The recovery of the $84 million divorce settle
by toulouse
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Jan 19, 2006 1:57:36 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Onion Tied to the Belt: As was the Fashion
by halfmahalfn
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Knit by Nazis, no less...
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Jan 19, 2006 2:03:14 PM CST
The Man with the hat is back, and this time he's bringing hi
by toulouse
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Had to join in. Too much fun!
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Lucas is a washup. He's a loon who has completely lost touch. Indiana Jones IV is never gonna happen. And if it does, it should be Young Indiana Jones.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:04:49 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Forced Retirement to Naples, Florida
by judas booth
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above mine. Guess I gotta be quicker than that.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:07:22 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Complete Inability to Hear a Word That You
by judas booth
Sounds like my dad, actually.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:07:41 PM CST
"He's as giddy as a schoolboy" - worst line in the entire fr
by toulouse
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Could it surpass the largest TB ever?
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Also, Harrison Ford at 66 could kick the shit out of any of the geeks posting smack about his age on this site. You geeks, on the other hand, will be crapping in a diaper in an old folks home at 35.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:09:58 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Complete Inability to Come Up With Another
by judas booth
Pretty accurate, dontcha think?
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Jan 19, 2006 2:10:09 PM CST
George is waiting for the CGI technology to get good enough for
by iamlegolas
Then he won't need Harrison Ford, or anybody for that matter. He'll be making movies by himself in his basement.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:10:32 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Last Gasp of a Faded and Once Glorious Car
by toulouse
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Jan 19, 2006 2:11:35 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Complete Use of CGI instead of Real Sets
by judas booth
Jar Jar as a Nazi, we can see it coming...
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Jan 19, 2006 2:12:40 PM CST
Indiana Jones and John McClane Taking On Hans Grubers Nazi Dad
by docfalken
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Jan 19, 2006 2:13:06 PM CST
Indiana Jones And The Useless Generation Of Mastubating Agiests
by krinkle
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Jan 19, 2006 2:13:37 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Complete Lack of Internal Monologue
by judas booth
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I don't see what's so hard about putting this out and putting out a film that isn't bad either. What about a story that takes place after WWII. Say 49-51 or something. Have Indy doing the ol' routine of finding some relic and on the way he runs into a younger archeologist who is everything he hates, basicly it's him 20 years ago. Well long story short the young archeologist turns out to be his son. One he had with Karen Allen from the first film. He of course never knew she had a son. Anyway old Indy is exactly that, old and now he is playing the same kind of role Sean Connery played in the last one. Have the father/son team go after some new "world gonna end" type relic. Doesn't really matter what. Hell, could be the Spear of Destiny or the bowl of Kubla Kahn for all it matters. The bad guys, make them the commies. Have something like Stalin trying to find this relic for some world domination thing. I don't know, maybe it would suck as a story, but it sounds pretty entertaining to me. Like it was said before this is not brain surgery to come up with a good story. Cast someone like Heath Ledger or some younger star in the role of Indy's son and you could appeal to a different demographic who didn't grow up with the man with the whip too. Not..that..hard.
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- what was old is now truly old once again
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Jan 19, 2006 2:15:36 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Krinkly Krinkle's a Wrinkly Wrinkle
by seppukudkurosawa
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Jan 19, 2006 2:16:17 PM CST
Pass the torch. Have an old Indy (Ford) pass the torch to his a
by judas booth
Restart the franchise, and base it in modern times. Josh would be perfect for this shit.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:18:23 PM CST
OK, I've been laughing for over an hour now, but Krinkle'
by judas booth
You got me on that one.
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A poignant tale of Indy overcomming his darkest secret and reveal the love that dare not speak its name.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:19:14 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Sgt Roger Murtaugh in I'm Too Old For This
by seppukudkurosawa
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my mistake.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:21:30 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Big Fat Paycheck That Will Finally Let Me
by judas booth
You know it's true.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:22:59 PM CST
Indiana Jones And The 32-Year-Old Male Straight Fanboy Who Would
by krinkle
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Indy's knowledge of glyphs and arcane languages is put to the test in this adventure as he struggles to decode the cryptic language of the Republican medicare prescription drug plan before a nursing home full of low-income seniors succumb to their chronic illnesses
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Seriously, my sides hurt.
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"what this film needs is a striaght up comedic character. The fans will love it, we have never had a completely comedic character in an Indy film." - GL
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Jan 19, 2006 2:28:33 PM CST
Indiana Jones And The Tendency For Cultures To Wish-Away The Old
by krinkle
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Jan 19, 2006 2:31:18 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Last Gasp of an Aging Star Who Hasn't
by judas booth
Hey, I sound like Krinkle now!
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Indiana Jones would most likely be played by Josh Lucas or Ashton Kutcher
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C'mon you guys - It'll be eighteen years since the Lost Ark. There aren't any Nazis any more - he'll be battling hippy chicks and tie dye.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:32:35 PM CST
by far this talkback has the funniest subject lines ever to grac
by calami-shami
The award, however, goes to MrInsidious.
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I don't get it...did he actually read the Darabont draft or is he just saying that b/c he believes anything Darabont touches is gold?
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Directed by Krinkle. with Nazis.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:39:10 PM CST
Harrison Ford and Josh Harnett reunited for Indiana Jones- a com
by toulouse
still reeling from the success of Hollywood Homicide. This dynamic duo is back, and they're kicking a$$ and taking commie names--Giving hell to the reds. Passing the torch, again. Hoping maybe it will stick this time.
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oh please ....never...ever ask for some untalented or talented folks to replace Ford. this is just way too stupid.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:40:15 PM CST
Indiana Jones and ...You Kids have it easy. I had to walk to the
by the_bat
You guys are Cracking me up. Thanks
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Jan 19, 2006 2:41:06 PM CST
I will only see it if Mousey McCallum has a cameo - and all of t
by toulouse
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Thanks for the laugh, guys/gals. Who needs cable TV or SIRIUS radio when we have AICN talkbacks for free entertainment?
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You know it to be true.
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"Eh? Speak up sonny! What's that? Who are you? Who am I?! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?! HELP! I'm scared..." Grasp fork in one hand, and Indiana Jones franchise in the other. Insert fork (gently) into franchise. Done and done. It's over, kids, let it go.
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with NAZIS on the lam from the Nuremburg Trials. Simple as that.
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I'd put Raiders as the best, far and away, but I think that Temple of Doom is better than Last Crusade. I can't watch Last Crusade because of the crappy special effects and the dumbing down/goofiness of the main actors. If only Temple had Nazis, it would have been better.
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I Agree! Is the best TB in a long Time!. Thanks Judas you had me rolling!
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Jan 19, 2006 2:48:09 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Miami Retirement Condo of Sagging, Europea
by eriamjh
>>> Shudder! <<<
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When there are no more croissants at the retirement home cafeteria... Indy has to embark on one more adventure to sieze the last croissant from the clutches of a retired Nazi general in his Brazilian assisted living stronghold.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:50:18 PM CST
I can't take credit for this, it was a collaborative effort
by judas booth
We all fed into this talkback, I've just been here the longest. Thanks to all of you for making me laugh today, as I needed it. Perhaps we all did.
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and ages like all humans. It's not like Ford's going back to play Han Solo in a movie set 1 year after Jedi. Ford's age means the movie would be set in the late 40s to mid 50s and there are PLENTY of cool things to tell stories about in that era. I think Roswell 1947 is a fair bet, or possibly Indy in the Pacific Theater of WWII involved in some island god thingy. Give him a son he never knew to tag along and handle some of the more adventurous parts and it'll be fine.
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Jan 19, 2006 2:51:49 PM CST
"tha ah-mies of dah-kness wheel mah-ch ahll o-vah tha fay-sh of
by toulouse
age-ist? We haven't even touched Sir Sean.
"she tah-lks in er schleep" -
He sues using AARP and then Run downs innocent Nazis while they are at the local Mall during october fest. Thats All Folks!
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Jan 19, 2006 2:54:49 PM CST
Hold me...Hold me like you did in the Well of the Souls
by kentucky colonel
For the love of God somebody strangle Lucas right now!
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I'm glad that I did, because I understand that 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' is virtually unwatchable. The best thing that Connery could do NOW is lobby to be the new 'M' in the rebooting of the Bond franchise. He'd be perfect, and it would be a classy nod to the guy for starting out as Bond (and finishing as Bond).
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Hahaha...
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Jan 19, 2006 2:57:10 PM CST
Jamesh Bond and Thish'll Have to be Me Last Martini Cosh Me
by seppukudkurosawa
Wait, wrong talkback.
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Maybe he's got another good one in him somewhere...just one more...
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Jan 19, 2006 2:58:05 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the bomb in a ribcage (hooked up to the pacema
by cockknocker
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Jan 19, 2006 2:59:20 PM CST
or get David Mamet to write one. He seems to have an ear for go
by judas booth
Just another thought. Just make sure that the bad guys are Nazis.
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"it's a great tie in and I won't have to use all of my own money to make this movie. Besides Harrison and Sean need all the help they can get. We'll eventually have them (the LARKS) integrated in the Indy stunt spectacular and Disney/MGM. It's a whole new demographic and a win-win for Lucas and LARK - a match made in heaven." - GL
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"Shofa, Junior! You musn't shpill the grash-hopper on the shofa!"
"Shaddup, Dad! Or I won't drive you to Perkins."
"Shorry! Did you know Brody wonsh got losht in hish own shower."
"And Sallah ate a bad date, and spent 3 days with a Sphincter of Doom." -
Jan 19, 2006 3:01:33 PM CST
When The Obits Come Out For An Actor Youve Never Heard Of
by flamingrunt
and people say "oh its a crying shame well never get to see another movie of his" its quite often fake sentimentality. But man its depressing to think well never see another harrison ford movie where hes kicking ass like he did in star wars, indy and the fugitive. He may be one boring SOB in real life but the guys been an icon for millions. Lets just hope indy 4 doesnt screw the pooch because this could well be his swan song
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http://www.indianajones.com/young/chapter/chapter20/img/young_1_sm.jpg
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Fuck, it's like printing money...so easy, it should be illegal.
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Ahhh...wait a minute...you mean it already exists? can't be. ...in fact i am still waiting for a fanboy who's going to admit that he wrote that fucked up screenplay.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:04:26 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the apology for making 6 Days, Seven Nights an
by judas booth
Anne Heche??? Um, yeah...right.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:05:20 PM CST
Junior! Mah LARK-sch schtuck on thisch bowl-dah. Yule - havtah g
by toulouse
..and scene.
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Spielberg rules.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:08:12 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Wistful Remembrance of Glory Days of Yore
by judas booth
Grabbing at straws, are we Harrison? Don't blame you.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:09:23 PM CST
Ford's age can be a strength. Speilberg has a chance to mak
by bunny_lebowski
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I'll check in later, this has been too fun.
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Paging "The Majestic". "The Majestic" please pick up a white courtesy telephone, your fan is on the line.
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I love the Indiana Jones Franchise but it's been 15 years since the last one and I'm not entirely sure what old Harrison is gonna have left for the character...the guy is in his 60's now. People need to let go, it was great while it lasted but I think we all learned our lesson from going back to the well with the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. I mean I love The original Trilogy, but the prequels suck ballz. You don't think that Lucas isn't gonna fuck this up big time too. I think he's doing it on purpose honestly, I think he's tired of people wanting more of the old stuff. I think he might actually have something new, but people won't stop hastling him about OH Do another Star Wars or and other Indy. Lucas is probably at home goin "Fuck Star Wars...Fuck Indy." He's gotta be thinking, how do I get these people to stop asking for it, I know, I'll give em what they want, but I'll slather it in shit. That'll keep em from asking for more. Let things go people, we need to stop going back to the wells of old movie franchises and TV series and actually trying to come up with something new. It might take a little time and effort, but I think we can do it.
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Wow, I'm surprised no one's made a DOCTOR WHO reset yet. I dunno, I just found the idea of Indy being surrounded by those dorky marsh people chanting "Kroll! Kroll! Kroll!" oddly amusing somehow...
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No time to argue! You throw me the Viagra, I throw you the whip!
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so suck on that BEYOTCH!!!
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Jan 19, 2006 3:23:41 PM CST
George Is Just Makin' This Up As He Goes Along OR... Sure,
by jollydwarf
...with "Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day". And then I'll go home and listen to "Chinese Democracy" while playing "Duke Nukem Forever". Right.
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I've basically left personal requests out of my prayers, ever since I was 8 and figured out praying to you for material possessions wasn't really fair of Your Almightiness. That said, I would like to pray to You today, to request Your divine intervention to prevent this movie from happening. I'm no expert on the methods through which You choose to influence men -- anything You decide should work just fine. Floods, tidal waves, forest fires, earthquakes, financial ruination... the how in this case does not matter, only that this movie does NOT ever see the light of day. I hear you're big with the smiting, so if it must come to that, then Thy Will Be Done. In the name of the father, son and Holy Spirit, I commend thee to not allow such an unholy film to exist in Your world. Amen.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:25:37 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Odd Lack of Chemisty with Anne Heche
by domi'sinnerchild
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...absolute lack of wit in this TalkBack. Nice work, boys!
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God this is funny as F*ck
Please Harry give out a prise or 3 for the best -
I know this makes NO sense. Just sounds funny.
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Jan 19, 2006 3:45:49 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Christopher Walken in the Quest for the Last B
by r.c. the "wise"
An Aquaf@g classic! Long live the Aquaf@g TB aka the Uwe Boll Fans TB
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Indiana Jones Denies The Holocaust Ever Happened and Steals All the Sweet & Low from Wolfie Cohen's Deli
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Jan 19, 2006 3:48:19 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest for Cheap Subscription Pills
by r.c. the "wise"
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ok im done now
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And He Can't Get Up! Heh. Maybe Short Round will make a cameo. "No time for love, Dr. Jones! You throw out back again!"
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- that's all I got.
Maybe Lucas will install a web cam on set that will be directed to a blank wall and hire some douche bag to write a production diary. He can charge $10 a month for fanboys to get the "news first" and have exclusives. He could call it "the well of the souls" an online subscription exclusive. -the greedy bastard. -
Oh, wait...seen that one.
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Spielberg and Lucas are involved...and they are too high and mighty for that to happen
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Jan 19, 2006 3:58:53 PM CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE STUPID TALKBACK DEDICATED TO NAMES FOR THE
by langfhir
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LOL best one yet but hey come on where having fun
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Jan 19, 2006 4:00:27 PM CST
or Indiana Jones And The Making Of "Indiana Jones And The Making
by langfhir
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Maybe I should stop.
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And I mean that in a bad way. Whenever there's an Indy 4 talkback you can always count on three things: 1) really, really awful and excrutiatingly unfunny age jokes, 2) at least a couple of dumbasses who say "Nuh-uh, Indy can't be old -- he's immortal, remember?", and 3) some more dumbasses who can't conceive of Indy in any cinematic situation which doesn't involve Nazis. If you take care of yourself halfway decently, being in your lesser sixties is no obstacle to being perceived as a tough guy on screen. My dad will be 66 this year and he's in terrific shape. He used to be a marathon runner and gymnast and is a hell of a lot more spry than many guys I know who are 20 years his junior. In fact, I'm pretty sure even Harrison Ford is at least twice as fit as most of you age whiners and could kick your pasty, Mountain Dew-swollen asses with nary a sweat. You slovenly haters suck the big one. It's cretinous vacuoids like you who ensure that "hip young casts" will be a mainstay of genre films for a looooooong time to come. If Indy is being played as a reasonably fit sixtysomething who CAN'T do all the shit he used to and get away with it, what's the fucking objection? Sorry (insert flave-o-de-month 20-something) wasn't available. By God, I hope this film DOES rape your childhoods. Especially since most of you are still in them.
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Seek out the "Hot Wheels The Movie" talkback. Funniest TB ever.
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And accept the past as the past? We are like little children who can't tolerate that the fun is over. IJ was fun and great in the 80s. Give it the respect it deserves instead of trying to resurrect its corpse. Thank God Shakespeare didn't feel compelled to write "Hamlet II Good Morning Sweet Prince!" and "Hamlet III The Conscience of the King."
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Indy 4: Electric Grasping at Straws.
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And accept the past as the past? We are like little children who can't tolerate that the fun is over. IJ was fun and great in the 80s. Give it the respect it deserves instead of trying to resurrect its corpse. Thank God Shakespeare didn't feel compelled to write "Hamlet II Good Morning Sweet Prince!" and "Hamlet III The Conscience of the King."
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Lighten up. I think most of us are just having a little fun. The most likely reason that a new Indy flick will suck has nothing really to do with Harrison's age. Fact is, nobody trusts Lucas to pull this thing together into a worthwhile project anymore. The age thing is just an easy target. With the right script and approach, yes, this could be a great flick as the character is well-drawn enough so as to be fairly timeless anyway.
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Jan 19, 2006 4:16:51 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Fact That If Spielberg Makes His Lincoln M
by forestal
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The guy looks a lot better for his age than Ford does. Also he has the power of the 'tache
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my problem is that this movie was in planning stage for such a long time and seriously Ford isn't getting younger. The problem with this production is that everybody involved is a megastar, would it be director, producer or the actor. Everybody wants to give their ok on the script. If this movie is going to be made, somebody needs to say "Fuck it, lets get on with it!"
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Who cares?
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Jan 19, 2006 4:26:46 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for Sean Connery's Toupe
by the dude abides
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or pass the torch ala casino royale. don't wanna see indiana jones and the temple of rectal prolapse or the raiders of the 401k that wasn't all it was cracked up to be or whatever else has been posted here.
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better late than never
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vs. the Nazis
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Jan 19, 2006 4:31:42 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Startlingly Unhip Members Only Jacket
by ray garraty #47
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Jan 19, 2006 4:32:46 PM CST
Indiana Jones in How did Wilford Brimley Get on That Horse?
by the dude abides
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Aging action/adventure heroes only become ridiculous when they're portrayed by actors trying to look and act 30 years younger than they are. Look at Roger Moore in A View To A Kill. It's laughable and not in the slightest bit believable -- which is saying a lot when it comes to a franchise which places higher demands on the suspension of disbelief than most others. Indy was always a very human hero, with loads of flaws and weaknesses. You always felt that he could get hurt and that he actually was in danger at times. Having an older Indy, rusty, crotchety and cocky, donning the hat once more and having a go at the Soviets and finding that while he's aged his foes are still young and vital, is a great concept for the film. It will also make his final inevitable victory all the more satisfactory. The timeless classic status of the original films will not be tarnished by this in any way. As long as Spielberg and Ford are involved and Lucas isn't directing or writing the script by himself then I'm optimistic. We've already SEEN Ford as an older Indy during the 1950s in the TV show. Remember Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Blues? Besides, nothing Jonesian could ever possibly be worse than the "old Indy" bookends of the television episodes.
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this is the funniest fuckin talkback i have ever read. EVER!
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Jan 19, 2006 4:44:37 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Neverending Conversation at the Drive-Thru
by nicemarmot
I gotta get these in before someone else takes 'em!
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little bastard...
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Jan 19, 2006 4:50:45 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the director who thought Jar Jar was cool.
by thumper2k1
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Jan 19, 2006 4:52:57 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Scheme to Expand the Ranch in Wyoming
by nicemarmot
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Sorry...it had to be done.
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Wheee!
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"Top...Mennnnnnn"
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Nostalgia is what 2007 is gonna be all about....INDIANA JONES will be back...ROCKY BALBOA will be back...JOHN RAMBO will be back!!! There are others I'm forgetting, but bring back the real franchises of yesteryear!!! Too bad TERMINATOR 4 won't be out till 2008!
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I'm pretty sure that it's Ringbearer9's insanity that comes swirling out of the Ark when it is finally opened in "Raiders". It's lethal.
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Jan 19, 2006 5:05:39 PM CST
hey, am i too late to make a joke about harrison ford being too
by newc0253
because that would be funny.
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Is it me, or does it seem that lately Ford only plays characters who are trying to protect their families??? I certainly hope we don't have to hear Indy utter a line like, "What have you done to my family?!" or "I'm not leaving here without my wife!!!"
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Why can't I quit you?
GFY -
Oh if only Jim Varney will still alive so we could get an Ernest/Indiana movie.
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Jan 19, 2006 5:27:57 PM CST
I'm sorry, but the "character" elements of Kong were a joke.
by darthcorleone
Naomi and Kong...there was some good stuff there. But I don't even know what Adrien Brody was doing in that movie. If you're going to make a 1 hr 40 min story 3 hours, that padding better be more than effects. And that's almost all it was. Seriously, I just found myself wishing that the crew of the ship could be replaced by Hudson, Apone, Hicks, Drake, Vasquez, etc., because all that "texture" that Peter added didn't work for me at all.
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I wonder who will win out, Lucas and his digital pioneering, or Spielberg and his refusal to shoot digital until the last photolab closes.
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It's absurd this film will even be made, but it will make lots of money for all involved regardless of how pointless and/or sucky it is.
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Whatever. Give it a shot Ford, Lucas, Spielberg, etc. Could be good, could suck. I'll be there either way, and my worldview won't be shattered if it's horrible.
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At least a few good chuckles came out of this whole thing
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You know, I don't seem to remember this kind of animosity when they pulled Sean Connery out of mothballs to do Never Say Never Again (which, while a bit tongue-in-cheek, was still better than anything Roger Moore ever offered up). I haven't heard too many complaints about Christopher Lee laying the heavy on various Jedi, and how old is he -- 108? And anyone who says older guys are irrelevant or out of place in action films should watch Unforgiven one more time and think again. So Harrison Ford's 15 years older than he was when he last had the hat on. So are you (physically, anyway, if not mentally). So get off it, already. Consider how Dr. Jones' age might open up new plot nuances of its own, instead of just ragging mindlessly on the man's age. Give the man a little credit.
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I also reckon Indi should have his eye patch, beard and his hat should have some interesting looing damage and stains. I also hope the damn thing doesn't have Harison standing in front of a green screen for 90% of the film, and a digital character. Unless it's brief and at the very end in the supernatural climax!
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It's good for a few chuckles, anyway.
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Jan 19, 2006 5:38:58 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Perils of Being Chained Up in AB King'
by childe roland
...next to Rocky Balboa and John Rambo (Which is Especially Weird, Seeing as How They're the Same Guy). And then AB King woke up in a cold sweat with a whip in one hand, satin star-spangled boxers in the other and a dirty red bandana tied around his schnutz.
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"Quick Sallah, Hand me my whip". "Fuck Off, I'm watching this remake of the Graduate starring Bea Arthur & Freddy Prinz Junior."
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I think the main complaint isn't that Ford's too old (most of the talkback jokes have been about that, though), it's that the franchise hasn't been touched for about 15 years and the only real motivation for it is MONEY, churning out a product. We're laughing at Ford because he desperately needs a HIT movie, since he's been flop city for 5 years or so. Personally, I hope that they can pull off a miracle and make a REALLY GOOD MOVIE out of this, and not something along the lines of the Star Wars prequels. So there.
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is bunny_lebowski, that ole bitch, the only one in here with the balls...err...boobs to show some faith? i guess it's a constant overdose of testosterone in this TB that creates nothing but blatant age-bashing.
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We've got quite a few that involve VCRs, viagra, and walkers. It's all in good fun, though. We'll probably have a similar talkback in about a year when they finally announce what the actual title is.
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...mmm..."Indiana Jones..." and...ummm...the..."Temple of the Old Archaeologists!" No, wait! Even better..."Indiana Jones and the Lost Dentures!" Ha-ha! Get it? Funny.
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Lighten up, will you? Most of the comments that are being made are OBVIOUSLY being exagerated. They would only apply to a much older man than Ford, who looks great (if dour and humorless) for a mid 60s man. My dad turns 80 next month, and I can only hope that I look as good as him when I reach that age in 44 years. Still, the comment above about Roger Moore doing 2 too many Bond films is valid, as he didn't look physically able to do those stunts and came off as ridiculous. As I said, the main complaint is about Ford himself needing a payday...with or without Nazis...
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the guy is freaking awesome.
is it just me or do you get the feeling that speilberg and lucas just are not interested and ford is the one who not only wants it but actually needs it....speilberg ages ago was going to make memoirs of a geisha and then do indiana 4...then he doesn't even wind up with memoirs but he makes WOTW and Munich....even the terminal was made after he left memoirs i think. like he cranks out ANYTHING just to be "too busy" to make indy. lucas turning down scripts which are not good enough.....that is about all he has done to stall i guess but to me they just don;t seem that interested. especially not speilberg. I think he is at a point where going back to indy is the last thing he wants to do.
if these two guys were really keen they set aside time and focus on it but it seems to me that they really don;t care. -
Jan 19, 2006 5:52:15 PM CST
Indiana Jones & the "Oh where was it now? I know I left it aroun
by vim fuego
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Jan 19, 2006 5:53:43 PM CST
Indiana Jones And the Giant Pink Elephant of Senior-Aged Dementi
by tall_boy
"Hey, look at that!"
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Jan 19, 2006 5:55:20 PM CST
Indiana Jones And ...What The Hell Is That White Shit Around My
by bigtuna
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Probably i am way too idealistic, but I don't really think that money is the first and essential consideration on this one. i think spielberg is enough of a pro (despite these little episodes he has with scientoligy personell)to not do another shitty completely wasted sequel just to do anyone or his bank account a favour. ( see: jurrassic park 2, he actually regretted this one)Anyway, I don't think that spielberg will risk part of his reputation and his precious time just to create some "comeback" for his good old buddy Ford, just for the old times' sake. actually i don't think this is too idealisticly thought at all... sorry for the bad spelling and grammar and all. probably it's just the crush i have on this guy but it is neither too much to say that an indy sequel is pretty much dependent on spielberg, probably lucash and also ford (can't believe some GUYS are actually asking for selleck's "return".). This is also what separates the indy trilogy/franchise from the james bond franchise: From the beginning it was IMO bound to spielberg as a director and ford to provide the somewhat perfect impersonation for the synthesis of strength and weakness in a heroic character. but maybe that's just a too strictly limited way of thinking.
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Indiana Jones is a bit down and depressed. His high adventure days long gone. Then one day he gets a letter from someone telling him he has a son he never knew about. His enthusiastic neighbor talks him into getting out his old hat and whip and travelling to exotic locations to visit his former lovers to see which is the kids mother.He travels and visits marion from raiders who is now a bitter old drunk living at the bottom of the himalayas...they have a few drinks establish that indy never gave her a kid get into a routine bar room brawl with a bunch of moutaineers and leaves....he finds willie in bangkok doing literally that...then he travels to germany to meet with family members of the evil woman from crusade. He winds up getting help from a young handsome german guy he meets in a restaraunt and when indy for some strange reason passes out decide he wants to help him.So they travel up to a mountain in switzerland where indy once had a fling with a goat herders daughter when he was trying to retrieve the jewels of azbalok and while up in the hills he and this young guy start to fall for each other. They find a hell of way to keep themselves entertained up there. They continue their search and find out that the goat herders daughter is dead and her son was supposed to have died too.Killed by a heavily armed group of germans who were lead by a blonde lady in a wheelchair. Indy thinks but surely not..."I saw her die" he thinks.
Indy and the german guy go to a hotel back on the mainland and are having a shower when gass fills the room and when they wake up before them ...in a wheelchair...is...the evil woman from last crusade!!!
She lived and nazi scientists helped keep her alive. and she has set this whole thing up as a way to trap indy and we come to the horrible realisation that the young guy helping indy is actually his son. his mother was the goat herder and evil german from last crusade kidnapped him and had his mother murdered. Then hypnotised him into wanting to be with indy. Indy was hypnotised in the hymalayas during what seemed to be a run of the mill bar brawl....she had set the whole thing up ..this whole journey just to get back at him. she kills herself and indy is left a destroyed man..... -
A reimagining of 2 of Paramounts best most lucrative franchises
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"Is this thing working? Hello? Hello?! Goddamn it, MArion! Why do we have to have one of these things anywa...BEEP!"
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yeahyeahyeah...i know...exaggeration...my intention as well... it's just hidden behind words in a foreign language-
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Jan 19, 2006 6:14:48 PM CST
Have to agree...recasting with Josh Holloway would be a MUCH bet
by minderbinder
I can't imagine what they'd do with ford at his age.
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Jan 19, 2006 6:17:09 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Roundhouse Kick Of Danger from Chuck Norri
by superbastard
Please, no more Indy movies....
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...not for indiana jones, come on. no, there's only one man who can play indy and that's harrison ford--except it has to be the harrison ford who isn't befuddled and lost in a midlifer with a little earring and dumping his wife for Callista Flockhart. Not that one, the other one--the Rick Deckard, Han Solo Ford. That's the guy. They should get him or just scrap the project. These movies are character and actor driven; the plots are kind of silly.
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Poor Denholm. Spinning in his grave.
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That being said, Harrison Ford is a rusted-out 1961 Dodge Dart on its 3rd rebuild.
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Indy's in a rest home - visited by the zombie corpse of the late princess. He's powerless to resist...
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I'm sorry. Zombie porn is nothing to be laughed at. But really, the thing writes itself. George, call me.
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Jan 19, 2006 6:48:10 PM CST
Sorry, but this "He's too old" crap is getting out of hand
by harrisonsdad
Look at Sean Connery in "The Rock", Clint Eastwood in "Unforgiven", etc. If abything, I'm sure they will play up some of Indy's limitations during filming, but hell, my great-grandfather was still a good marksman with both a revolver and a rifle way into his 80s and I know most men wouldn't have given him any crap because he would have put them through a wall. Of course, my great-grandfather wasn't a very nice man. www.leftofcentrist.com
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Jan 19, 2006 6:48:59 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for the 7-Day Pill Container
by mocky_puppet
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Eww.
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Jan 19, 2006 6:55:03 PM CST
Indiana Jones and I Just Got Off of the Phone with Michael Bay
by screamingpenis
and he said Armageddon 2 is in the works, brother!
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In which Indiana fights Republican Senator Joe McCarthy, who has pinned Indy as a commie liberal for fighting Nazis before America formerly entered the war.
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Jan 19, 2006 6:59:53 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Time-Life Series on Arcane Artifacts
by captdanielroe
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Jan 19, 2006 7:01:09 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Indianapolis Speedway on TV at the Arizona
by captdanielroe
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Indiana Jones and the Arthritis Attack
(The first. Thanks dad). Indiana Jones and the Rising Belt Line. Indiana Jones and the Onion Tied to the Belt: As was the Fashion of the Day (yeah, me).Indiana Jones And The Useless Generation Of Mastubating Agiests Who Will Buy A Ticket On Day One Anyway, So Go Fuck Yourselves And Bring On Indy 4! (I can see the one sheet now) Indiana Jones and the Complete Lack of Internal Monologue (probably the best).Indiana Jones and the Complete Lack of Internal Monologue.Indiana Jones, Raiders of our Hard Earned Cash.Indiana Jones And ...What The Hell Is That White Shit Around My Mouth? Those bitching about people hassling the age thing need to lighten the fuck up. I'm sure most of us are just using this as somewhat creative outlet in an otherwise boring day at work. We all know your dad could arm-wrestle a polar bear. We just don't care. -
"Eeuuooooohhh Indy Indy whip it...Ya whip it guud Hmmm! I've decided to write a book about ya Indy...It's called In Cold Blood II, the Last Crusade. Do ya like it? It's very masculine don't ya think Hmm Hee! Oh come on Indy...just one more crack of that beautiful whip of yours!"
Hahahahaha -
Bring it full circle.
No that's not funny, but I'm serious. -
For those who remember, Harrison Ford's probable last portrayal of Indiana Jones was NOT in Last Crusade. It was in a cameo appearance as Indy in one of the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles episodes.
Also, somehow I get the feeling that Spielberg's heart isn't really in another Indy sequel. His storytelling sensibilities have moved on. From what I've read, he's planning his next project, his own take on "Mary Poppins". This probably has Naomi Watts written all over it. -
Dad "What?" Dad "What?" Dad "Whaaatt???" Where did you put the coupons? "Right here Junior. Schall we enter the reschtaurant? I'm in da mood for schome Schteak and All you can eat schrimp. I'm sure Sala will just stick with the All-you-can-eat portion. My god he's fat!"
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Jan 19, 2006 7:15:44 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Rape of Young George Lucas' Childhood
by captdanielroe
In which a drunken old Indy actually sires George Lucas and then burns his ear off on a hot stove.
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Jan 19, 2006 7:17:18 PM CST
Indiana Jones And The Eh? What? A MOVIE, You Say? In My day, the
by kubla_khan
I love Indy. I'll watch the new film. But it's going to need Jessica Alba in a bikini to make it watchable...
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Jan 19, 2006 7:18:20 PM CST
Never thought I'd utter these words, but well done, TalkBack
by lone fox
Not one single funny play on an Indiana Jones title. Gotta be a record for TB lameness. And that's saying something. Look at the Hulk TB.
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Jan 19, 2006 7:20:59 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Invention of Blueblockers by Nikolai Tesla
by captdanielroe
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In a freak accident involving the Philadelphia experiment and the Bermuda Triangle Indiana Jones is transported through space and time where he meets up with the Starwars gang and trades places with his cosmic doppleganger Han Solo. Destroy both properties in a single glorious explosion of cheese.
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Then step up. What've you got?
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In which he "borrows" Doc Brown's Delorean in 1955 and goes back in time in order to come face to face with Hitler once again without even thinking of killing him.
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Seinfeld Joke.
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Indiana Jones and..What The Hells that white shit around my mouth made me laugh my ass off.
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I couldn't help myself.
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Jan 19, 2006 7:51:06 PM CST
I got one, I got one! 'Indiana Jones Goes Back to School
by orbots commander
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Featuring "digital insertion."
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Jan 19, 2006 7:55:53 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Attack of the Robots That Eat Old People M
by superbastard
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Which steers clear of the Bermuda Triangle, only to be taken over Willen Dafoe who is bitter about having acquired copper poisoning.
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that was a beauty.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:01:00 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Not So Much Older As Strangely Puffier Fac
by captdanielroe
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Jan 19, 2006 8:03:16 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the search for the dead sea scrolls in large
by dave04
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Jan 19, 2006 8:03:57 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Unbearable Lightness of Lindsay Lohan
by captdanielroe
Whom Mr. Ford may feel a great attraction to go out and try to bang, in part to get over this talkback, should he happen to read it.
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This time it's personal.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:06:22 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Purchased Rights to the Ring of Doom
by captdanielroe
Thereby eliciting revenge for the stomping of the new Star Wars trilogy by making that property FUBAR too.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:06:40 PM CST
Now that Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau are both gone (RIP), wha
by orbots commander
Relax, it's a joke. Old people are swell. And we're all goofing more on Mr. Ford's cantankerous manner rather than his specific age.
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Marion was obviously a lovely jewish woman, and bore Indy's love child. Woody succeeds in making Harrison look less old and lecherous by comparison, whereas casting a septugenerian father did not do the trick.
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Oh. Indiana Jones & the move down to florida.
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i know this has nothing to do with Indy IV (which i think is a bad idea, but will see it anyway) but since Bay's name has been mentioned in this talkback and since this paticular site has so many fans that seem to really HATE Bay, i just thought i would ask...why? Bay makes action movies. not character driven dramas. he doesn't attempt to move anyone to tears or win awards. he likes to see things blow up. have you guys every watched one of his movies with the commentary on? he seems like a really funny, humble, cool dude. and as far as i'm concerned, he is by far the best action director working today. nobody can do a car chase like he can. THE ROCK, BAD BOYS II and THE ISLAND all had amazing car chases. i thought anyway. i was hoping Bay would do a Superman movie. the things he could have done visually would have been amazing. as for dialouge and plot, directors don't write the movies they direct. unless of course the are writer/directors like M. Knight Shymalan. so why attack Bay because of PEARL HARBOR'S cheesy dialouge. that was written by Randall Wallace. anyway, i was just curious as to why everyone hates Bay.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:27:29 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Old Fart Who Was Still The Best Option
by captdanielroe
Because let's face it old farts aren't as lame as any male actor to appear in the last twenty-plus years of American cinema or television. So unless Donnie Yen takes over the franchise as Short Round, Ford is not a bad choice.
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Isn't that he makes action movies. Heavens to betsy, no. The problem is that he makes action movies that we don't like. In which we might praise this or that setpiece scene, the overall dynamism and kinetic performances, and yet come away feeling greasy and disgusted about the lack of a meaning to life in a way that not even the rankest horror flick can achieve. Call that a problem with character and dialogue if you will, but if those aren't gonna be a plus... Why not just make a movie featuring guns, blue boobs, explosions, and CG vehicles only?
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This has been fun. Keep 'em coming!
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Set in the late 60's, Indiana Jones and Buzz Aldrin try to stop a secret Nazi plot to launch nuclear missiles at the Earth from a base on the moon. The movie will have a twist ending in which Indy, after saving the day, suddenly comes to at Woodstock and realizes the whole thing was an LSD induced hallucination. From off frame, somebody offers Indy a hit off their bong. He looks at it, then up at the person offering it, then directly at the camera. Indy shrugs his shoulders, smiles and takes the hit. Fade to credits and the Grateful Dead's "Truckin'".
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The premise of the joke is lame enough but the execution, F-.
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now is that awful, or is that awful?
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After two hours he realizes they're on his head.
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thanks for responding. i guess i just don't get it. i like all of his movies. i think they are fun and i always have a good time with them. to each their own i suppose.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:57:59 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Drool-Stained Shirt of Thanatos Asleep in
by lycanthrope
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Not a year from now and not 10 years from now. Its not gonna happen. And on the very very very very very slim chance that it does happen, just remember Lucas is behind this and look at what he did with the prequels.
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Jan 19, 2006 8:58:30 PM CST
Tim Burton to direct Indy 4 - Johnny depp to star as Indy- Helen
by toulouse
Jorge- Stephano - and Harrsion are out. A surefire hit from the "incredible imagination" of one of the most original "always does the same thing" directors of our time.
The zaniness ensues SUMMER 2007 -
Tired of saving the world from Nazis, eh?
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New Indy to be played by Sean Astin, his gal pal by Michelle Tractenburg, an ethnic sidekick by a random Nickelodeon series, with an appearance by the Olsen Twins as the Nazi She-Wolves of the SS and Harrison Ford as "Grumpy" Jones...
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That's okay - the new movie will be bereft of stars, too - acting or reviewer's...
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Ol' Indy can't remember where he left his car keys and goes on ramapage through the house. Certain that he left them above the fireplace mantle, he suspects his German Neighbor stole them. In the end he kills the neighbor, only to later find the keys in the car.
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Jan 19, 2006 9:09:36 PM CST
RE : "just remember Lucas is behind this and look at what he did
by citizen arcane
Yeah, he made a few billion dollars and ended on a film that was critically acclaimed. What a douchebag.
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Jan 19, 2006 9:15:14 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200 Shot
by prof.ikamono
You'll shoot your eye out Junior!
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Brokeback Mountain will own your ass. And make it sore.
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Seriously, my personal favorite are: "Indiana Jones and the Bingo Card of Calcutta" and "Indiana Jones and the quest to feed Calista Flockhart." Awe-some.
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Wow I finally came up with an oldster joke that isn't demeaning. Too bad Harry won't just get f-ing Scoop for this site so's the other two oldsters here could rate my comment.
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Jan 19, 2006 9:41:05 PM CST
careful what you say about the star wars prequels when citizen a
by slappy jones
Those films are fucking masterpieces don't you know.
In fact they will go down in history as the three greatest films of all time. They clearly are. I mean for one the only bad effect in sith is dooku jumping off the stairs. and aside from a couple of lousy lines of dialogue the film is simply one of the finest pieces of cinema ever seen.
My hat is off to citizen....big time...you really love this stuff. Don't get me wrong...I love Star wars. They are my favorite films of all time...by a mile. I love the universe. I love lucas and I love hearing guys knock him as he is so incredibly successful that we all look like insignificant losers when we mock him. I have in fact met the man himself and he was fucking awesome. signed a bunch of shit for me ..had a photo with me ..he was really cool. SO I come from a hurting place ...the prequels let me down what can i say. I do like sith...but clones and menace can go and get fucked. they don't deserve to be seen in the same light as new hope, empire, or jedi..sith scrapes in...and pretty much for the only thing that saved it was anakin and kenobi pre fight confrontation.."my new empire" ALL THAT STUFF was superb so i love you citizen arcane -
I'm not saying that the prequels didn't have some problems but the point was that they weren't exactly unsuccessful. Certainly not commercially and in the case of Sith, not critically. Am I certain that we're going to get the bad ass Indiana Jones from Raiders and not the slapstick dolt from Last Crusade? No. Which Lucas is going to show himself, the Lucas who created Jar Jar or the Lucas who created the child and wife killing burn victim? D-day Spielberg or raptor killing child gymnast Spielberg? It's a crap shoot but I do know that they deserve a chance. And the title jokes are fucking lame. Like last sketch of the show SNL lame.
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While under the influence of medical marijuana after his hip replacement surgery due to asceptic necrosis, Indy discovers clues to suggest the possible location of the Lost Ark of the Covenant and limps off on an ill-fated quest, having completely forgotten that he already found the damn thing. Salla plays along to humor the old man in hopes that he'll actually find something of value that he can profit from (having gone bankrupt years ago after a short-sighted investment in a fertilizer company that utilized recycled Camel Dung) until Indy starts calling him "Sancho" and tries to make him wear a propeller beanie.
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"8 year olds, Indy."
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Stupid typos.
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Jan 19, 2006 10:10:05 PM CST
Oh I agree these jokes are terrible..but i did join in i am sorr
by slappy jones
I just gave a simple treatment which is box office gold but anyway that is neither here not there.....
I really get the feeling though that lucas and speilberg are not interested in indy4. speilberg in particular seems to dedicate all his time to anything but indiana jones 4 and with lucas turning down scripts...
they seem to do anything to get out of making it.
if it does get made I just hope it is great that is all. maybe lucas will ask his new pal jackson to take over. but i am guessing that wouldn;t go down to well with you....anyway...if it gets made I just want it good! -
Jan 19, 2006 10:18:52 PM CST
Re: RE : "just remember Lucas is behind this and look at what he
by freakemovie
He was going to make zillions of dollars by doing them regardless of whether they were good or bad. As it turned out, he decided to shit on everyone's childhood, ignore any semblance of "plot" and "character" in favor of "bright shiny computer thingies", and churn out three of the worst movies I've ever seen by a major filmmaker ever. Ever. And by the way, watch Episode III again. It was pretty much just as bad as the first two -- everyone at the time it came out was still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. They did the *exact* same thing when Episode II came out -- A return to form! Epic space opera once again! Everyone finally realized it sucked. It was hard on me too, believe me -- walking out of the theater for Episode I, I had convinced myself it was brilliant. But I finally came to terms. Anyway, just to wrap all this up into the real topic, he's ruining Indy 4 now too. Spielberg was ready to go on a script over a year ago, I believe, but Lucas vetoed it. Who was once such a promising talent in the 70s-80s is now a mindless special effects whore with way too much money on his hands and no concept of storytelling.
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Jan 19, 2006 10:22:50 PM CST
Indiana Jones and How Not to Be a Menace to South Central While
by paulh
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Ok, the kid was annoying and the girl was annoying but then she was supposed to be. Overall I thought it was a dark, scary, gory, cool departure from the formula. Last Crusade was ok but it was way too silly. Here's an exercise. Replay the first reveal of Indy in Raiders in your head, when he bitch slaps the guy with the gun and comes out of the shadows or in Temple of Doom, when he's all James Bond in the Shanghai club. Now replay the scene where he falls down the stairs that his dad accidentally opens in Last Crusade. Dignified Brody vs drunken Brody. Suave Sallah vs comic relief Sallah. Belloq vs goofy American guy. They're like totally different universes. Temple of Doom wasn't a masterpiece but it had a lot going for it and if given the choice, I hope Indy 4 is more like Temple of Doom than Last Crusade.
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Yeah, the guy who never heard of the concept of an editor and the guy who couldn't frame a scene where people aren't standing still and talking if hi life depended upon it. Either the Nazis will give 20 minute speeches as they die in slow motion with Enya blasting in the background or Indy will read an archaeology textbook in a completly unrealitic speaking style while standing perfectly still. Supurb choices, You should be a sstudio executive.
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Jan 19, 2006 10:33:57 PM CST
The Direct That Could Hit The Indy Franchise Outta The Park
by captdanielroe
Is Wes Anderson. He, and few others, could give us a dysfunctional family reunion of Indy's disparate illegimate children who would represent a wealth of quirky riches for an heir to the franchise, and have it carry some heft despite a light tone.
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I dunno I though it was on the money with regards to the source material... Not Haggard so much as Howard et al., grisly pulps as opposed to Victorian malarkey yet bringing the franchise a little closer to the modern era. And boy how the world has moved on from the racist overtones of that flick (not knocking it, just saying).
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Jan 19, 2006 10:57:44 PM CST
Well it was a departure in that it didn't follow the formula
by citizen arcane
That's not necessarally good or bad but if all the films were about Indy being called away from school to get his mission and fight the Nazis with Sallah's help, it'd get a little stale. But a lot of people including Spielberg, didn't dig Temple of Doom and that's cool. As for it being racist, what was racist about it?
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He may be 66 by the time they start shooting this.
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True that! Double true!
GFY! -
Jan 19, 2006 11:12:01 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Medicare Perscription Drug Progr
by roguewarrior65
He discovers an ancient stone tablet that allows all Medicare recipients to decypher the text of the Perscription Drug Program...but unfortunately, as you can see, the top portion is missing.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:15:44 PM CST
Really REDD? Harrison Ford is old? No one has brought that up ye
by citizen arcane
What is it exactly about the Indiana Jones character and Harrison Ford that everyone is obsessing about his age? He's not playing an ageless cyborg. The character is a college professor who is constantly getting his ass kicked. What about that can't be played by a 65 year old? Tell Sean Connery, Ian McKellan, Clint Eastwood and Christopher Lee that they can't do action movies and they'll kick your bloated bitch ass.
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I wonder, will we ever see each other again? Who knows? God willing, we'll all see each other again in...
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I don't think Redd was saying, hey, look how old Ford is! Everyone in this thread has been calling Ford 66, I'm pretty sure Redd was just making the correction.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:26:46 PM CST
Indiana Jones and I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a
by iamnicksaicnsn
Wait a minute...
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Jan 19, 2006 11:26:53 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Old Man Who He Haunts Him Inside His Mirro
by snapt
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Jan 19, 2006 11:31:56 PM CST
The whole movie will be Indy rescuing people with his helicopter
by flim springfield
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I was just trying to correct a few people that had said Ford was 66, that's all my bloated, bitch ass was trying to say.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:52:09 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Fund Raiser for Stem Cell Research to Help
by geek molester
but Bush jumps in with an army of Republicans dressed as Nazi's and yells "stem cell researchers are terrorists! protect the american people! kill them all!" The plot thickens.
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Jan 20, 2006 12:06:16 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the bareback fucking of River Phoenix's co
by krullboy
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Now. Seriously. Assuming this film actually gets made, where should it go? Personally, I'd love to see a target of another 3-film arc approached as an entirely separate entity from the first three films, with less emphasis on action and more intellectual mystery and storytelling. There's absolutely no reason a more mature, less whip-prone Indy couldn't make for good cinema. Cut out the slapstick of 'Crusade', put more emphasis on the historical aspects of "Raiders", and there might be a really good mix there.
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Jan 20, 2006 12:13:10 AM CST
Indiana Jones and ass pounding of "Short Round", starring BD Won
by krullboy
Asian persuasion man love
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about marion and her and Indy's kid. When they were searching for Noah's ark, and the bad guy left footprints of fire. That seemed cool, I don't know if it was real. Anyone else read that? anyway another ark?
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Jan 20, 2006 12:56:53 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the neverending flood of title suggestions poi
by caipirina
we shall see
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Jan 20, 2006 1:11:13 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the I'm Going To Be There On Opening Day N
by forestal
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OK, I am done...
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I mean, CMON!!!!!!!! it's OVER. enjoy the 3 movies that are out and that's IT. come up with something different.
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Jan 20, 2006 2:43:42 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the If I Hold Up A Single Finger and Look Piss
by aragorn ii
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British acting legend Christopher Lee has slammed Hollywood's obsession with youth, insisting the employment of beautiful but talentless teenagers is sabotaging modern movies. The Star Wars veteran, 83, is appalled by producers' willingness to cast young stars in emotionally-complex roles, and insists a backlash is on the horizon. And he fears for the reputations of young stars, condemning Los Angeles studios for pushing their protege's too far. He says, "The problem today, and I think it's a very dangerous one for the people concerned, is that there are quite large numbers of very young men and women from 18 to 30, and they are playing very large parts in huge films and they simply, through no fault of their own, don't have the background and the experience and the knowledge to pull if off. And it's dangerous for them because if they are in one failure after another, sooner or later people are going to say, 'Well, he may have a pretty face but he's not bringing the public in.' So many of these good-looking - sometimes even pretty - boys and girls are getting these good roles and it's not fair on them. At some point it's going to catch up."
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starring kathy bates
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is it actually any good? all ive heard is a bunch of gaybashing reviews from simple minded idiots in the vein of 'its a gay movie, so it sucks'. level with me, here.
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Jan 20, 2006 5:26:50 AM CST
Herpes herpes bo berpes bana fana fo ferpes me mi mo merpes...
by chief redcock
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I would fuck Selene hard!!That is of course if she did not bite my throat out in the process!!
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Not only am I an Israeli agent who has infiltrated the AICN talkbacks with dozens of usernames for unknown nefarious purposes, but I also post a message complaining about the lame humor content of most of the Indy titles only to -- brilliantly -- come back and post even more fake Indy titles under the name Alonzo Mosely. If you make thorazine smoothies the meds go down easier. You'll find it's a much better solution for you than going cold turkey. Ass.
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Jan 20, 2006 5:28:33 AM CST
I'm sure as Christopher Lee was saying that, he was glaring
by chief redcock
...disregard my last post, natch. Damn button.
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What the Hell was that film all about? I ask because I could only withstand about 40 minutes before I started drooling, and had to turn it off before I lost the ability to work the remote. Harrison Ford was trying to sell a house or something. And Josh Hartnett did some yoga. Not sure where the homicide came in. Perhaps it referred to the retribution on the person who greenlit the film.
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I'm late, I know.
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Oh Pantera. You look so dumb on so many levels. explain yourself
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I honestly think it's time that these films were remade. We haven't had any remakes in a while. Get Peter jackson to do it, and he can turn the trilogy into a twelve-hour epic with vine-swinging Tarzan Nazis, Spielberg's wife pouring perfume on a REALLY BIG ELEPHANT, and a little chinese kid in orthopaedic shoes whose sub-plot is mysteriously left hanging in mid air after his mentor has his heart pulled out of his chest by a wierd voodoo dude. Throw in some slo-mo whip action while Enya tears up the soundtrack, and you've got a winner.
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Jan 20, 2006 6:04:39 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Werthers Original induced diabetic coma
by dirkd13"
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Noah's ark, that is.
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If you're still here, could you let Ben Gibbs, previously beloved by all as BenderShinyAss know that I saw his films and thought they were cool? I may be wrong but I'm guessing you have a way of "contacting" him.
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Jan 20, 2006 6:57:26 AM CST
Dear Mr. Lucas: Thank you so much for all your hard work,
by regis travolta
but please relinquish control over this franchise and let Steven and Harrison make the script they want to make. I'm sure they'll invite you to the premiere and give you a free DVD of the movie if you simply promise to leave them the fuck alone. You have set this 4th picture back a decade if not more with your incessant idiotic ideas for improving it to death. You are no longer valuable or essential to this movie. You created it and produced it but the time has now come for you to step aside and get the fuck out of the way. You can keep busy with your Star Wars cartoon channel series Clone Wars and go make your small experimental films which you've been wanting to do for 40 years.
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What? This talkback isn't "funny" enough for you? Then write something that is or post somewhere else. Then pull the lump of coal out of your ass because it's already turned into a diamond.
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If Sean Connery could be in an action film that is entertaining, (Indiana Jones 3, Legion of extraordinary...) Why does everyone think Harrison Ford can't do it again? This is why I hardly ever read these talkback forums. Everyone is so negative. You people hate anyone that is successful and act like being 60 means you can't be in a movie with action. I mean Hulk Hogan and Rick Flair are still Wrestling and you won't even give people like Harrison Ford and Sylvestor Stallone a chance to make movies where they can do a lot more magic than Vince McMahon can do for those men in a wrestling ring. I guess everyone needs to feel more secure by bashing all these actors. Oh well, I think it'll be fun to see them make these movies. Hopefully we'll see a few more "Indiana jones and the blank blank blank" posts because the first 548 were pretty funny. :)
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With extra high waist of course.
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Wakawakawaka
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I felt like I was talking to myself here. If Ford was playing The Terminator it'd be one thing but the whole point of the Indy character is that he's a professor who is constantly getting in over his head and getting his ass kicked. His age will obviously be part of the story and isn't going to be simply ignored. It's not the years, it's the mileage.
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I say find a way to team Indiana Jones up with Chewbacca. Chewie would fuckin' stomp a mudhole in some Nazis.
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People are living longer and longer, and leading full lives doing it, and this is *without* having drunk from the Holy Grail. I couldn't help myself and posted a couple of these titles, but only one referenced the age thing, the other asks the question "what happened to the eye?" Thw answer to which I hope will be in this picture.
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when Indy 4 rumors started coming out and someone suggested Indian Jones and the Broken Hip. Best talkback I've ever seen, and I've only been reading the titles.
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Only if it takes place after Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Blues, which was set in the 1950s and in which he still had both eyes .
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Jan 20, 2006 8:40:15 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Hanging Around Schools with Bags of Sweeti
by cpt kirks 2pay
'Cos Claista Flockhart sure isn't eating any of them judging by he size, and even she can't make the Ford 'feel' young again. After Crusade I reall ahve little interest in another Indy movie. It'll take a lot to make me excited about this film, and I doubt I'll find it in an old Indy.
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I've read them all and I think that's a new one.
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....Indie 4 could be cool, but with someone not in the little blue pill zone....
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Apparently Callista sat on the sofa and slipped between the cushions and now Ford can't find her.
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If he's twenty years older won't the film be set in the sixties? Will it be like Head?
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Claymation is the way to go for Indy 4!
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Jan 20, 2006 8:54:16 AM CST
The funniest thing about this TB are the guys who are actually o
by thumper2k1
Who put sand up your vagina? Seriously! I've never loved a movie so much that I would start to cry when people made fun of it. I liked the Hulk movie, but do I give a shit that everyone else on the planet hates it and slams it at every oppurtunity? No. It's just a movie. So I am asking you guys.. who put the sand up your vagina? I really want to know.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:07:39 AM CST
Prof. Ikamono - I sit here with a nice warm fuzzy feeling
by bendersshinyass
Thanks bud.
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The guy's old, we get it. At least be funny about it. There's nothing worse than people who think they're funny and aren't. And that's almost everyone.
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Junior...it's time. The Plug needs to be pulled.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:23:02 AM CST
Hoe about 'Indiana Jones and the lack of any good biblical a
by bendersshinyass
Nah that was crap.
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Did you see the guy giving shit to George Lucas at his life time achievment award. I reckon he'll be a wicked bad mother. Kind of like that grandfather who faught the japs and you wouldn't dare piss him off. Ford has grown into the sort of old geeza who gets so angry he shakes, so pissed off he rolls his eyes and so damaged over the years that if he needs to snort back and hok a loogie. In fact I swear he did the snort back on the Lucas life tiem achievement. But judging by how damaged Harrison ford is by the shit Lucas and Spielberg put him through, something tells me we'll be seeing digital Indy doing the real hard stuff. How bout that transformers footage, hey! Ok, I'm going again now. Thanks again Prof. Ikamono. I might put another couple films up there :)
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...for the funniest Indiana Jones title. Some of these are so funny, I'm getting in shit at work for laughing when I should be working.
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I hope they play Indie as an older man... and not expect Harrison to dye his hair or anything. If they do, then they might as well get Nathan Fillion to step into the role and treat the character Indie like they do with James Bond... and pass the torch.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:40:11 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the trip to Canada for cheap prescription medi
by bigtuna
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I can never figure out if homewrecker actually labors under the belief that DocPazuzu is like a half a dozen different people or if he just thinks it's funny to accuse him of it.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:46:27 AM CST
Indiana Jones and Jethro's prison-release bus pick-up of sno
by i hate movies
"What up, Bee-yotch!"
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Man with golden diamonds are forever moonraking Dr. No's octopussy
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I've been laughing my arse off all day at this TB. I guess that makes me immature or whatever, but so what? It's quite clear to me that it's all a joke and not meant to be truly offensive. If you're not gonna get with the spirit of the TB, then don't come here.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:50:13 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the House With Heat on in the Middle of Summer
by phonicsmonkey
Old people hate air-conditioning.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:53:18 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Story That's Not So Interesting As It
by phonicsmonkey
Simpsons reference.
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No wonder old people can't hear anything.
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...You're damn straight he did.
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Jan 20, 2006 10:08:59 AM CST
Indiana Jones and The Ass-Kicking You Are All Going To Get When
by big jim
Or Indy 4. Whichever.
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My two pence...
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Jan 20, 2006 10:29:24 AM CST
I love Indy as much as the next man ("I was the next man")
by moviemaniac-7
But please, a decade-and-a-half further this movie has geared up more hype than Phantom Menace and only if it surpasses Raiders of the Lost Ark, people will be happy. Else, this will be one big disappointment. True, Lucas has time now, Spielberg is on top of his game (but sadly not in the Entertaining Way of the 1980s) and Ford could use a new hit. I'll be the first in line to see this sucker, but do we truly need it? What better ending in a trilogy than let the heroes ride towards the sunset? (Okay, Mikey Corleone dropping dead was a better one). Let the TITLE GUESSING BEGIN!!
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it's not like this film will tie up any loose ends from the first three. i really think the window of opportunity closed on this one years ago.
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Jan 20, 2006 10:56:39 AM CST
Indiana Jones buys a gun-steals a car-tries to run- but he don&#
by toulouse
In the ghetto.....(chorus) In the ghetto
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It takes something special to motivate me to write.
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Old people love huge cars.
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Jan 20, 2006 11:26:04 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest for All-Time Box Office Champ
by chishu_ryu
Guess the Msr. Lucas isn't happy with the #2 spot. Give it up George! Even a thousand Jedi knights can't contend with the box-office bonanza of millions of DiCaprio-crazy teenage girls. Yes, George, yes...I can feel your greed...it flows within you...now strike down that master of movie mogulness, Mr. Cameron...and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete...
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If George Lucas has anything to do with a new Indiana Jones film, I've already crossed the film off my list. Lucas is a hack. I hate him. I'm sure the kiddies will love this news, since it means brand new paper thin characterizations, billions of special FX crammed into each frame, and silly, simplistic plot devices parading as "drama". Yuck. I'm so not there.
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Jan 20, 2006 11:33:23 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Drunken Grizzled Misogynist Who Hands His
by oisin5199
But I repeat myself. Had to add one. He and Connery can star together with a cameo by Gov. Ahnold and they can joke about keeping women in their place. A laugh riot.
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Oh, homewrecker is the real deal. What set off his alarm was Alonzo Mosely's use of the term "evil dancing jews", which is something homewrecker's pal Minas Tirith II used without a hint of irony in a 911 talkback. Whenever someone else uses the term in an obviously humorous fashion, homewrecker's Double Secret Mossad Detection System goes off and he draws the "obvious" conclusion that that person must be me. Homewrecker is also the guy who believes that everyone who doesn't like P Diddy's music is a racist and that 2006 was "the year of the faggot". He's not nuanced or clever enough to perpetuate a subtle and - for him - reasonably sophisticated ongoing joke like that.
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Jan 20, 2006 11:59:38 AM CST
Jugs, if that truly is Mr. Knowles wallowing about in the water
by chishu_ryu
MAN IN SUIT!!
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Jan 20, 2006 12:00:37 PM CST
ALL SUBJECT LINES ON THIS TB SHOULD END WITH "OF DOOM"
by studioplant69
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Jan 20, 2006 12:02:23 PM CST
Indiana Jones Conquers the Aliens from beyond Uranus OF DOOM!
by studioplant69
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The Indiana Jones Trilogy is a classic, please no pathetic follow up which will only tarnish their memory.
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I see these geezers in the shower room at the gym, their balls banging against their knees when they walk. Holy fucking shit, gravity is a bitch after 70+ years. Two words: wear ballhuggers.
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Quit checking out the guys in the shower.
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First of all, I'll check out whomever the fuck I want, with or without your permission, thank you. Second, I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit that I've (gasp!) seen a naked man in a locker room shower. If that makes you nervous, why don't you go join all the other homophobes in one of the Brokeback TBs that have cascaded over this site recently. It's hard not to notice an old fart's teabag-from-hell ballsack when you turn the corner in the shower and he's standing right there in front of you, his nuts swinging back and forth like an elephant trunk. Excuse me all over the place.
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Reminds me of the sketch "Memory Lane" from that Sandler CD:
"It also reminds me of the time I saw a 60 year old guy slide down one of those things and he was going so fast his bathing suit fell off, and I just stood there staring at his big beautiful hairy balls flopping around, holy geez I wanted to lick -
Jan 20, 2006 12:47:07 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Quit checking out guys in the shower OF DOOM!
by studioplant69
I will never stop! Long live this Talkback! Oh shit there's the boss gotta pretend I'm working.
GFY -
"Indiana Jones and the Search for Mark Hamill's Career," had me crying with laughter.
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Jan 20, 2006 12:52:56 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Slow Escalator During the 20% Off Mattress
by eriamjh
Love interest is Cher. Adult Short Round played by George Takei ("You own MY ass, Dr. Jones!") And instead of Nazis, we just have Josh Whedon fanatics. (KIDDING!)
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Who are you? Kramer, doing research? I'll pass on the salad!
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Jan 20, 2006 12:57:29 PM CST
"...his nuts swinging back and forth like an elephant trunk."
by big jim
I'll never be able to watch Babar the same way ever again. Tony, don't take it so seriously, I was just goofing on you.
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Jan 20, 2006 1:15:16 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Stongly Peppermint Scented Balm
by ray garraty #47
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thank you all for joining today's talkback. my winners are Indiana Jones and the Mysteriously Appearing Ear Hair and Indiana Jones and the Apocalyptic Gout. runner up awards go to anyone who complained about how unfunny this talkback was. thank you and good night.
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...meanwhile back at the rest home... "Snakes, there's snakes coming out of the walls!"... nurse walks in - "Mr. Jones, those as extension cords in a light socket. We better change your medication again." Indy stares blankly ahead and resumes gumming a piece of overcooked lunch meat.
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About how 10 cents used to get you into a movie, popcorn, 2 drinks and 3 pounds of candy. Of course you'd also have enough change leftover to stop at the drugstore for a coke and a hamburger. My first car cost $300 and gas was only 2 cents per gallon. Course in those days you worked 60 hours a week for $15.
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Jan 20, 2006 1:44:11 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Three Mile Walk to School in the Snow. Of
by aragorn ii
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this TB is turning my diaphragm into a perpetuum mobile. thanks
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Jan 20, 2006 1:45:55 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Dentureless Nursing Home Blow Job
by phonicsmonkey
Take out them teeth grandma.
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Jan 20, 2006 1:50:03 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Futile Attempt to Hide the Fact that He Sh
by tony mike hall
Doesn't really work, StudioPlant. I'm dropping OF DOOM next time around.
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Jan 20, 2006 1:50:45 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Why I Remember When a Nickle Would Buy You
by lycanthrope
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Jan 20, 2006 1:51:54 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Mystic Masonic Hearing Aid of Lemuria
by lycanthrope
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Jan 20, 2006 1:52:50 PM CST
Your Worst Nightmare - Indy Jr. to be played by... Freddie Prinz
by lycanthrope
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Jan 20, 2006 1:53:58 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Secret Diabetes Test Kit of Wilford Brimle
by lycanthrope
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C'mon - it's Indy!
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Okay, I don't know the name of the 7th book, and these got progessively more lame anyway.
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When leorge gucas called steven spielberg (fuck...you can't change the letter...conspiracy) last week to set up a date for some indy4 script sit in steven suddenly came up with an idea: "hey george, what about you calling mtv and giving them some unnecessary news in confirming that 2007 release date a second time? then you mail a hint about it to harry knowles from aicn." "ok, I'm gonna do it, when you think so, steve but why?""well i thought we could have some fun on friday ...hehehee...we'll have some breaks and share a few laughs over a classy indy4 talkback. i mean if thos jerky TBers are through with it we will insert some good dirty jokes on harrison's age and everything will be fine.." "yippie, you old sneaky bastard you..that's a great idea, i already have some jokes in mind. but don't tell harrison. can't wait....."
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What's the record for longest talkback?
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... and it's all going to be done in crayons with stick figures, some of it noticeably edited by children. *** Spielberg: "Uh, George, let's let our screenwriter take a crack at it ...."
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Harrison Ford : "Wait, my head was turned in that shot." *** Lucas : "That's okay, I'll just composite your head from another scene onto it, we are done. Next scene." *** Spielberg : "Hey, aren't I the director on this set?" *** Lucas : "Okay, Steve. That's fine. Just remember...... it doesn't have to be that good..........."
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It looks like it kept going strong after I left too. Nobody did answer one of my first posts though...did anyone actually get a copy of the Darabont script and read it? What was the premise?
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Nazi with a blue dress on
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Jan 20, 2006 2:33:30 PM CST
Once he went after ancient artifacts, now he is after some Prune
by jugs
slurp!
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That would be the Aquaf@g TB (now known as the Home For Fans of Uwe Boll). I think it is somewhere around 7500 posts. http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=21000
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Dammit, I'm doing it again today.
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If Michael Bay had directed that remake of King Kong it would have gotten the shit kicked out of it...and that's the fuckin truth! Even Pearl Harbour was less cheesy than Jackson's Kong effort...and Pearl Harbour was cheeeesy!
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Indiana Jones And The Mystery Of...Oh, Fuck It, It's Obviously Nazis.
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Judas, you...can...not...resist...
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if the TB is surviving the Apocalyptic Riders (today in form of uwe boll/michael bay) then, everything might be possible...
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Jan 20, 2006 3:11:37 PM CST
THIS JUST IN- Kanye West and Beyonce to guest star- Golddigger t
by toulouse
Superstar Kanye West has conquered the music industry and now poised to overtake the silver screen. "Kanye is a shoo-in, with his GI Joe beard and haircut there is no mistaking his similarity to Harrison. No one can enrapture an audience like Kanye. He's so cool"-exclaims Spieldberg.
Here's an exclusive exerpt from the script:
Kanye (as Carolina Jones): Jospeph Stalin hates black people.
Stalin (responds unashamedly): Da. I hate everybody who disagree weeth mother russia.
Kanye: He shoot at us.
Indy (nervously): relax, Carolina- I have a plan. (turns to his father)
Henry Sr.: Schtick it to him, Carolina. You that man now, Daaawg.
(Begin dance number)
George Lucas is furiuosly typing away and brushing up on his exhaustive collection of cliff notes to bring you this fine production in the summer of 2007. The Man with the Hat is back, and this time he's bringing a new demographic. Whooopsht! -
Jan 20, 2006 3:15:23 PM CST
Indiana Jones: Once He Went After Museum Quality Pieces. Now, H
by mr nice gaius
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Christian Slater could also a hit
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Jan 20, 2006 4:04:11 PM CST
Best talkback ever - Best title thus far - Indiana Jones and the
by dark knight lite
When I read that I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes! Ford, Speilberg and Lucas need to walk away from this one. It really is too late. Dark Kinght Out.
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Jan 20, 2006 4:18:58 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Family Reunion -with Tommy Lee Jones join
by toulouse
Reuniting the whole family and creating a memorable ensemble cast- the script just writes itself - Lucas gleefully exclaims.
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Harrison Ford & Robert Redford take on the Bolivian army, with the help of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, of course.
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I'd like to keep my precious memories of the first Indie and leave it there. Harrison Ford you're getting kinda old, as is Sly who's making Rocky...
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Jay Leno made a joke about the 4th Indiana Jones movie last night. The punchline had something to do with Indiana using a power-wheelchair to chase the baddies down. As if that joke hasn't been uttered 7,000 times already... And the audience laughed.
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You've kinda got a point homewrecker.
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Jan 20, 2006 7:08:24 PM CST
Although I loved many, I would have to say my favporitre was, "I
by porky
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that whip is good for more than just killing arabs and nazis
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with Nazis.
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Big Band Nazis.
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Hot Coffee Nazis. With sugar and cream.
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Jan 20, 2006 7:43:26 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Code Blue Resuscitation of Harrison Ford&#
by judas booth
He needs it.
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Jan 20, 2006 7:45:03 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Whistling Hearing Aid of the Apocolypse
by ray garraty #47
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He'll retire soon. He only needs a big hit to help pay off his divorce settlement, and then he'll retire and fly helicopters.
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"You know, I don't seem to remember this kind of animosity when they pulled Sean Connery out of mothballs to do Never Say Never Again (which, while a bit tongue-in-cheek, was still better than anything Roger Moore ever offered up)."
I agree this, apart from the following aspects:
(1) All of it
*********
Never Say Never Again is a complete and utter pile of shit. And while a lot of Moore's films were pretty ropey, "For Your Eyes Only" is WAY better than NSNA. It's astonishing that the guy who directed The Empire Strikes Back could helm something as bad as that turkey. -
Jan 20, 2006 7:47:56 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Big Opening Weekend Even If It Does Suck
by judas booth
And you know it.
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I couldn't agree more. Actually, FYEO is my favorite Bond film of all of them, far and away. NSNA is essentially a remake of Thunderball, and a weak one at that. Klaus Maria Brandauer as a heavy? Give me a break. Everyone involved was merely cashing in a paycheck. Connery has rarely looked more bored in a movie.
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of Doom. With Nazis.
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Jan 20, 2006 8:44:40 PM CST
Indiana Jones & The Hunt For Some Actual Cool News On This Site
by vim fuego
Zing!
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Jan 20, 2006 9:00:38 PM CST
Indiana Jones Has a Beer and Cheets on the Holy Ark of Doom...
by hypeendshere
with Short Round.
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Co-starring Kurt Russell and Peter Weller.
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Make that 'Dimension'.
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ah, I got nuthin'.
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Jan 20, 2006 9:49:53 PM CST
Lucas wants this to be set in the fifties so he can have the Ind
by toulouse
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Jan 20, 2006 10:11:03 PM CST
Spamster, the "Spear of Destiny" one was great, you should have
by flim springfield
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Jan 20, 2006 10:21:57 PM CST
Indiana Jones & The Search For Harry's Secret Stash of Twink
by vim fuego
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Jan 20, 2006 10:38:31 PM CST
Indiana Jones & the hunt for the cock who signed James Blunt
by vim fuego
BTW I can't imagine what he might have been called at School.
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"You chose tampons poorly, brother!"
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Jan 20, 2006 11:01:02 PM CST
Indiana Jones and The Ultimate Canadian Presciption Crusade
by leveldwella
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Jan 20, 2006 11:30:28 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Curse of Alzheimer's and the Curse of
by zacdilone
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The good Arabs have blue turbans while the bad arabs have red turbans. I know they were actually in india, but these films are not exactly world class accurate. I'm trying hard to make light here, but I didn't like your tone. And while I may be 'another' talkbacker name, it's apparently not exactly all that much of a secret which one it is.
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It's come to my attention you're actually the evil one though
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OF DOOM!
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I thought you were getting american patriot political on us. I was drowsy, I hardly even remember writing it at 2am this morning. rest assured, I'm no where near fully awake but I've got my hand ready to slap myself should I decide to actually think before I post.
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Jan 21, 2006 12:28:13 AM CST
Indiana Jones and Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms yo!
by studioplant69
of doom.
gfy -
Jan 21, 2006 12:29:35 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the revenge gang up of all his previous girlfr
by gingertwit
Willy Scot "So who's this Marion?" Indy "Just a chick I once knew" Willy "Oh, so you were fucking her?!" ************ Marion "You son of a bitch, I knew you had girls on the side" Indy "Relax, She saved my life when I was poisoned and we crashed our plane in India" {SMACK} "I've learned to hit you in the last 50 years!" *********** Indy "I should ahve stuck with that Nazi Chick" Willy "Nazi Chick!?!?" Marion "Oh you are a player. Poor excuse for a man!"
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Woah this is heavy
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and that red headed fuck
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"If only there was a community of people like me I could 'talk back' and forth with"
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"Marion, can you come take a look at this?"
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You really do have to wonder just what this fil mwill consist of. I mean, think about it... No wonder this film is taking so long to get made - these films are huge!!
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Git up, a git git a git down, 9-1-1's a joke in your town.
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Jonesy needed some cleanin' up to do.
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of Doom, of course.
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Jan 21, 2006 1:27:30 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Marlboro Man in Brokeback Temple of Doom
by hypeendshere
"I wish I knew how to quit you!"
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Jan 21, 2006 1:39:26 AM CST
I Just Want To Say Im Proud To Have Been A Part Of This Thread
by skoobyx
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Your obsessive hate of Harrison Ford is scary. Did he kick sand in your face or something? Just asking.
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Jan 21, 2006 1:54:21 AM CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE RANCID SMELL OF THE FLAMING VICHYCHOISSE
by spacesheik
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Weak addition to the other, brilliant ones in this thread.
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MAAAATLOOOOCKKKK!!!!
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"It says clearly on the bottom, good till Tuesday you fuckin moron!"
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"Will you please stop calling my number, I'm a respected archeologist and...what's that you say? You give discounts to archeologist? Well then I'll go get my checkbook, please hold Mr.Motongo..."
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It seems everyone want a carbon copy of the other three movies. I don't see what the big deal is that Indiana will be older in this movie. All they have to do is make it more of a mystery movie instead of an action movie.
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Jan 21, 2006 2:55:08 AM CST
"come back and post even more fake Indy titles under the name Al
by alonzo mosely
Wait, I am really Doc Pazuzuzuzuzuz or whatever? Hmmm, that might explain the blackouts and dead hookers I suppose...
Hey how about Indiana Jones and the Dead Hooker? -
Spielberg: WAR OF THE WORLDS, A.I. AMISTAD, TERMINAL, MINORITY REPORT -- all pure and utter shiite and Lucas:
ST: EP 1-3 - horrendous first film and two eye lightweight eye candy sequels with bad writing and dialogue -- these two dont get me excited about INDY 3 - a film which is *supposed* to be Harrison Ford's Indy UNFORGIVEN, his TREASURE OF SIERRA MADRE, - in the end we gonna end up with more rat infested sewers a la LAST CRUSADE, comical Nazis who fly their planes into tunnels, and climaxes featuring 1 tank and 1 old dude sitting in a cave sipping wine from a cup. -
Jan 21, 2006 5:40:03 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Fate og Blue Eyes' "Mama Dont Bark."
by spacesheik
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You really are deluded aren't you. Here you go, sign in to the zone (see link at the top), PM Doc Falken, he is the webmaster of this site, and ask him if the IPs of myself and whoever else you think is your mortal enemy match or not. I happen to have no idea what your beef is with Doc Pantaloons and I do not care, I have been using the evil dancing jews gag since that infamous talkback in a vain attempt to make it a catchphrase.
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The one who introduced the shitty stories.
Oh wait, they already have. -
Indy may have already won 10 Million Dollars! "What do you mean, buying more subscriptions doesn't increase my chances of winning?! I'm calling my Congressman!"
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Jan 21, 2006 6:46:16 AM CST
Indiana Jones and and the Search for Cliff Robertson's Bounc
by spacesheik
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Jan 21, 2006 6:58:41 AM CST
DR.JONES! DR.JONES!! FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!!! FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!!!!
by shermdawg
Very Funny. Haha. That's very funny. So sayeth The Short Round.
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Jan 21, 2006 7:00:23 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Life Alert Emergency Response Bracelet of
by chaos731
Pbhththpp.
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Jan 21, 2006 7:03:44 AM CST
"Shorty, I don't have a fifty, and I told you last time, I&#
by shermdawg
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oh god, that was weak
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some of us need more than 1 talkback id for matters of national security and well, I've already said to much
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I got nothing
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Jones goes hollywood. yeah, I got nothing
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Jan 21, 2006 7:38:33 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery Inside an Enig
by seppukudkurosawa
homewrecker is Pazuzu!!!). The Sun shines a little brighter today.
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Jan 21, 2006 8:48:53 AM CST
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade of the Neck Fladdle
by seppukudkurosawa
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The rest of you, don't quit your day jobs. And what's with the lack of new stories on this site? If it wasn't for Herc hocking Amazon products, this place would have nothing. At least copy and paste from darkhorizons.
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So what the fuck are you supposed to fucking be, a fucking lion tamer?
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No, I don't hate him. I honestly don't. He's been in several of my favorite films, but of late he's been in absolute wastes of time. His acting has gotten even more wooden, his only facial expression is a variance on a scowl, and he looks like he wants to be ANYWHERE else besides on a film set. I just think that he should acknowledge that he had a good career and quietly retire, showing up in 10 years to get his lifetime achievement Oscar which he DOES deserve. Anyone else think that 'Firewall' looks meh?
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You gunna sit this one out?
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Judas Booth, for shame. What are you talking about? You make no sence. How can you sit there and look back on harison ford and say the man is to old to live. Um. I don't think you said it in those words, but thats what I thought when i read your words. I think the issue you have is that Harison Ford hasn't aged to terribly well, and that can happen to anyone. But when he was on stage and getting pissed off at George Lucas - and I mean this when I say he and Carry Fisher have issues with him. But they also have lots of affection, thats why it's so cool to see them all together. (sigh) Anyhoo. Harison ford is going to make a supremely awesome old guy Indianna Jones. And something heartbreaking will happen, because they'll incorporate their age. They better or we're fucked. And, I don't care what anyone says about the prequels. Lucas kept his vision strong for 30 years. And spielberg has remained a solid film maker for 35 years. "Indiana Jones and the one last big adventure" is going to be the LAST event film!
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Indy safely slides under a descending stone wall, but his nutsack is not so lucky.... should've quit while i was ahead.
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I'd pay to see that....
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Please re-read my post. I don't have an issue with Harrison's age, although it's fun to poke fun at it. In fact, if Harrison's acting skills and overall demeanor were up to it, I'd be all for a new Indy film. But he isn't the same person or actor that he was 15 years ago. Look at him. All of the sense of fun and adventure that he used to embody has been replaced with his evil twin...a scowling, dour, humorless shell of his prior shelf. I don't want to see the current incarnation of Harrison Ford bring THAT demeanor to a new Indy film, as it won't translate well. Harrison isn't FUN anymore. If he still were, then they'd have a great film with everyone joking about the 'years, not the mileage'. Look at the career path of films that Harrison has chosen in the past few years...he hasn't had a hit in a LOOOOONG time, and they've all been 'serious' films that he's walked through, collecting a paycheck. I'd like to see Harrison make something fun and lighthearted (NOT a sequel to '6 Days, Seven Nights' though) that gives him a chance to be charming again, and let that movie be preparation for Indy 4. If he can pull THAT off, I'll start to believe in what Indy 4 can offer. No matter what, I'll probably see Indy 4 on opening weekend anyway. That's MY point. I have nothing but the HIGHEST of hopes on this actually working out, but I realistically don't expect a best-case scenario. With or without Nazis.
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We'll see if it's a hit movie when it comes out. If it is, and it's actually any good, then maybe I'll have better hope for Indy 4.
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No Nazis, only Conan.
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Jan 21, 2006 11:08:29 AM CST
Indiana Jones and King Kong has just overtaken Batman Begins....
by jugs
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seriously.. after reading all those great ones, it was your comment that made me actually burst into real, out-loud laughter.
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Jan 21, 2006 1:50:34 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for the Longest Talkback. Of Doom.
by aragorn ii
I'm assuming this one's been done already, but it's not like I'm actually going to read all of these to find it!
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just a thought on a "humorless ford": when I was accidentaly watching him on conan o'brien in 2003 he was quite funny. as a matter of fact, his personally spread fake indy4 title (something with mermaid prince or so) would be in the top ten of this TB. the desaster of his latest films was never really his inablitity to act... it is rather his inablitity to know the difference between a good and a bad project or script. however this is quite funny: http://photobucket.com/albums/y231/mrsskywalker/?action=view¤t=56602728.jpg
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I hate snakes!
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i subconsciously waited for this one zacdilone! can't belive this is a first for "snakes on a plane" in this TB...
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Jan 21, 2006 2:05:55 PM CST
OK, the pic of Ford getting punched in the 'nads is pretty f
by judas booth
I wish that humor would come through in his movies, though. And you have a valid point regarding the choosing of bad projects/scripts. Still...even in those bad movies, he comes off as being quite banal and wooden compared to how he was in the '80s. I doubt we'll ever have as fun a performance out of him as Indy in 'Raiders', or even as the guy in 'Working Girl'. I'd be happy as hell to be proven wrong, though.
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that's a good one! iamnicksuserid wrote it last night. scroll up.
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Now THAT I'd pay to see!
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Six Days Seven Nights (1998). Didn't seem to be wooden or stiff in that role. But you guys are the acting experts, so who knows?
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Jan 21, 2006 2:49:15 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Why The Fuck Can't Lucas, Ford, and Spielb
by forestal
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If his filmography just consisted of all his non franchise pics like what lies beneath, devils own, regarding henry, random hearts, hollywood homicide, sabrina, presumed innocent hed be instantly forgettable. the mans an icon, a true movie star. Not based on hype like tom cruise but on the roles hes played. A true star of modern cinema but man his choice of single movies stinks.
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I guess Blade Runner, Witness, Air Force One, and Mosquitio Coast don't count.
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look at the next post.
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Jan 21, 2006 2:59:02 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search For the Identity of the Guy Who Jus
by forestal
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Jan 21, 2006 3:06:57 PM CST
Sorry I thought it was obvious i was looking at the general tren
by flamingrunt
of course theres blade runner, the fugitive, witness, mosquito coast. that still only counts for a third of his single film filmography though. The other 2 thirds are pretty average at best
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Beat you to "Tomboy Beanpole" by about a day. Ain't I proud.
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Honestly, I only ever liked the first one. Also, I prefer NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN to THUNDERBALL. At least they only waited ten years to do that one.
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Again, probably done already, but who really cares at this point?
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Just wretched.
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Jan 21, 2006 4:37:18 PM CST
here, hold my drink -Indiana Jones and the (urp) - excuse me - t
by toulouse
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Astute comparisons. It *is* a shame. Hated what they did with Brody. JJ hurt much worse than Capshaw though ('course, the rack helps).
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Here's an idea everyone will hate: Set it in the present! Indy and his dad are still alive thanks to drinking from the Grail (not that anyone believes that), and they have to be called out of seclusion to solve an old mystery involving... NAZI ZOMBIES!!
Okay... return to the jokes. -
So there.
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Jan 21, 2006 6:32:50 PM CST
Another not-great moment in the career of Harrison Ford line del
by judas booth
So there, again. Liked the movie, though, even if it is tooooo long.
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And I'm sure that Lucas Haas is free, as the last gig that he had (to my knowledge) was a small role on '24' last season. 'Witness 2: The Return of John Book' and this time, he's pissed. Nice rack on Kelly McGillis, too. No need for Nazis, even.
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Jan 21, 2006 6:39:47 PM CST
To finish off the header above....what's she done lately? I
by judas booth
Harrison back with the Amish, back to get the woman that he fell in love with but walked away from. There's got to be a decent story in that.
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Jan 21, 2006 8:22:26 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Have You Noticed That Gas Is $.02 Cheaper at t
by toulouse
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Harrison Ford discovers a comb and is perplexed. What is this DAMN thing?! (breathing loudly as he snarls) Get this thing out of my face!!! Off my plane!!! And away from my family!!! (He declares angrily holding it up to the camera as the spits flies out of the sides of his mouth) - and scene.
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Jan 21, 2006 8:27:14 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Unexplained Room at His House that Has Rea
by ray garraty #47
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Jan 21, 2006 8:33:49 PM CST
Now insert "Indiana Jones" in front of all of the Encyclopedia B
by toulouse
"Encyclopedia Brown was a great source of inspiration for me, like that time he knew the cracked egg was hard boiled and not raw because the guy said he had to sweep up the mess. I love that attention to detail and look forward to appropriating it into my next independent feature."- GL
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Jan 21, 2006 8:34:52 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Answer That Lies at the Bottom of a Bottle
by toulouse
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Jan 21, 2006 8:38:02 PM CST
Indidna Jones and the Real Reason Dr. Jones, Sr. Moved to Utah
by toulouse
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Sorry. Couldn't resist.
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Jan 22, 2006 1:39:13 AM CST
You know, Slavoj Zizek could and probably will write an entire b
by chief redcock
this talkback is pretty funny, and I would enjoy reading a postmodern book analyzing this sick brickolage (sp?) and how it came to grotesquely be birthed into existence. Extensive interviews with all of the contributors would be mandatory of course, to gain insight into their sick minds... we'd have to pry them out of their basements... or we could just watch the 40 year old virgin 50 or so times for research purposes. talkbacks are very postmodern though, i think, for better or worse, if that word actually means anything... a bunch of functionless carbon life forms interacting through machines to, as harry once stated, "create their own world." i wonder what a hypertext written by aicn talkbackers would read like.... ahem.... ::shudder:: ::shudder:: ::shudder:: ::shudder::
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You've got me in the same mood. And I might also say that even though I haven't seen the first underworld - I do however feel like going down to the local cineplex and checking this one out. Will I be missing anything if I just see the sequel and not the first? I have the same issues with talkbackers who bash Indy temple and Indy Crusade -- calling them inferior films to Raiders. This is true to an extent. If you watch temple and crusade and neglect Raiders, then eventually when you come to raiders you will find that it is a more serious film. A more confident take on it's subject matter. However, if you watch Raiders, and then follow on with Temple and Crusade, then I find that the sheer effort in putting Indy through more adventures is just classic fun to watch. The point here is, I don't buy into the Indy film bashing. If you love 1 of them then you must love all of them. And while they are 3 films I hardly place them in the trilogy catagory. Even though technically they are. And I'm torn between a new indy film. On one hand, I am dying to see a new indy adventure on the big screen. But then on the other....... Indy was a 30's archeologist who fought nazi's. But then you just have to remember there were no nazi's in Temple. I hope this has been an enjoyable read :)
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The reason fantasy and horror films get bashed a lot is because most of them suck. Because the people producing them are making the aesthetic and not a story. Some definately transcend that by having a great story AND the aesthetic of a fantasy/horror/sci-fi movie. As far as the topic at hand, I don't think we will be seeing Indiana Jones and the Unknown Title. Not with Harrison Ford at least. They would have to be HEAVY into pre-production to have any chance to make it by May of 2007. That is a short year and four months away. So 2008 then? 2009? That would be twenty years after Last Crusade and Harrison Ford would be 66 years old. The script would have to be mind blowing and Steven Spielberg would have to knock it out of the park to justify seeing Indiana Jones as an such old man. But we know for a fact that the script just isn't that great because they can't make it work. I first read about the possibility of a fourth Indiana Jones film in spring of 1994 in the Lucasfilm Insider. Almost 12 years later they still can't come up with a passable script. Not even close, has anyone read Indiana Jones and the Saucermen from Mars? It. Fucking. Sucks. Worst case scenario bad. George Lucas, please don't destroy the Indiana Jones series like you did the Star Wars series.
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You do see the oxymoron of a talkbacker who frequents a talkback sight to dish out on talkbackers who frequent talkback sites. The 40 year old virgins in their parents basements is starting to get a little old. i mean, we can't ALL be 40 year old virgins living in our parents basements, can we? Besides, when you get a good talkback, you get something of a living organism - a consciousness, if you will. You see..... everyone is throwing around ideas, and there are agreements and disagreements, and then at the end of the talkabck there is a change in perceptions. On a GOOD talkback, that is. I'm not talking about the talkabcks where everyone says "This will suck" or "Fuck you for thinking that talkbacker 666, you evil bastard" In fact, i think you'd be surprised just who does read these talkbacks. I think you'd be even more surprised who posts on them. Alls I'm saying is, don't lob everyone into the same catagory. So, how bout that new Indiana Jones film they're making??
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You wrote: "I don't buy into the Indy film bashing. If you love 1 of them then you must love all of them". Um, no you must not. I would love Last Crusade.....if it didn't totally suck. It's not a good film, and what's worse is that Indiana Jones isn't even in the movie! That is Harrison Ford's personality for the most part. Harrison Ford's quiet slurry voice, not Indiana Jones voice. Everything that we came to love about the character in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is totally missing or changed. Harrison Ford just phones in his performance from a piss-poor script by a writer that doesn't even know the character of Indiana Jones. Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite film of all-time. Last Crusade wouldn't even crack the top 100. Raiders is a masterpiece. Last Crusade is not.
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I remember reading a screenplay for Indy 4 MANY years ago. I think it was the same guy who worked on empire who wrote it. It was official what ever it was. It started with Indy and his school on a field trip and there was a train action sequence and it had abner in it so it was set before raiders. It also had Marion. It was pretty hard to read and I'm glad that Lucas has the courage to say "No way" to these efforts. I trust them on Indy. If they make it then they're confident in it. If they don't, then we're better off without Indy 4
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I don't understand
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Jan 22, 2006 2:11:31 AM CST
Indiana Jones and lets not all end on a serious note here...of D
by jugs
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You say Harison Ford wasn't playing Indy. The young Indy at the start had the 'act' of Indy down pact! When we first see Indy, that was indy's smile - just before he gets wollaped. When he's teaching his class - that was the same teacher in Raiders. When he's looking for his Dad back home, that was his urgent tone. When he's on the plane looking over the grail diary - that was Indy. The film loses me a little in the whole italy scene, but when he takes Elsa and kisses her, that was PURE! When he rescues his Father and the interaction between the two - that was no different to Indy Yelling at Marion or even short round or Willy. I guess I just see a different film to you. And again I stand by my belief that those who don't like Indy films, besides the first 'raiders' don't really know what they're talking about. Sorry.
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Jan 22, 2006 2:20:04 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the impossible task of pleasing everyone
by gingertwit
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Jan 22, 2006 3:25:54 AM CST
My Favorites Were: #3- Jungle of Ear Hair...#2-Severe Case of Co
by cheif brody
I have never had more fun on a Talk Back...Ever. Firewall is Air Force One in a Bank...("Get Outta My Bank!") I think Harrison really needs Indy 4 to happen....But if it doesn't happen by his deadline, I hope Lucas & Company will allow the franchise to continue with fresh writers and directors...and a new younger Indy....Josh Halloway would be great...He even said his characters true name on LOST "James Ford" was a tip of the hat to Harrison. I'd rather see a reinvention than a crappy one with the original cast & crew. How much "action" will Harrison be able to do himself? Dragging behind that truck in Raiders was amazing...Imagine them shooting that scene a year from now...It would be nothing but wide shots of a stuntman. Thanks again for a wonderful talkback everyone...I think some of you should get writing credits from Leno & Letterman the next few weeks.
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Jan 22, 2006 9:14:19 AM CST
Spielberg cranked out War of the Worlds in a few months
by citizen arcane
And he was probably doing at least pre-production work on Munich at the same time. They're still casting for the new James Bond and they're opening in November of this year. It doesn't take that long to make a film nowadays. They can do it by 2007. It would take even less time if Spielberg got over his technophobia and shot it digitally. The only concern would be having enough time to get the FX right. I think it was the time issue that made the FX in Kong so sloppy. As for Ford's film caeer sucking, anyone who forgets blade Runner needs to STFU. Ford has about 15 solid films under his belt. How many movie stars can say that? Oh, and Indy -would- have a longer life span from drinking from the grail. He won't be immortal but just drinking from it once would cure whatever maladies related to age he already had, so he's probably got an extra few decades at least.
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Jan 22, 2006 9:23:33 AM CST
Indiana Jones and Driving 10 miles Under the speed limit!
by darthnameless
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I got Nothin'.
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LUCAS MAKE IT HAPPEN BOYEEEEE!
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Jan 22, 2006 9:44:06 AM CST
Indiana Groans and the Missing of the Early Bird Special
by hypeendshere
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Jan 22, 2006 9:57:56 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Telling of Stories That Don't Go Anywh
by toulouse
The bookened to the "onion on the belt" comment up above. 9^)
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Indy's soiled his oates, and now it's time to pay.....Big Time.
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with Kudos to DarthNameless for the inspiration.
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Jan 22, 2006 10:05:42 AM CST
Indiana Jones and lets take this TB to 1000 plus posts, just to
by jugs
Batista owns JBL!!!!!!!!!!
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Jan 22, 2006 10:08:35 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for the Killer on the Back 9 costar
by toulouse
When sleuthing and golf finally come together, old age has met its match.
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Jan 22, 2006 10:12:35 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Frequent Explanation of his Medical Condit
by toulouse
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Jan 22, 2006 10:14:07 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Telling of Stories About People You Don
by toulouse
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Jan 22, 2006 10:20:16 AM CST
....with his dentures having just fallen down the well, Indy beg
by toulouse
Henry Sr.: "again." Indy: "but sir", Henry Sr.: All Good Boysch Do Fine Alwaysch...now do it or I'll schmack your teeth out"
so touching. so poignant. yet not overbearing. -
Jan 22, 2006 10:23:54 AM CST
Indiana Jones and Billy. . . . . . (note: Billy is a guy I know
by hypeendshere
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Jan 22, 2006 10:25:50 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Yelling at the TV as if Someone on the Sho
by toulouse
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Jan 22, 2006 10:50:00 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Long Dead Adventure Film Franchise of Doom
by zombiesolutions
maybe it'll be this weird post-modern take on how the Indy Jones film series has been dead and buried for almost 20 years and should be left alone. This could cue some really nice Mallick inspired scenes in which Indy Jones wanders around the jungle and ponders his existance in a world that doesn't need him anymore.
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Jan 22, 2006 10:58:03 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Overly Fretful, Anal Retentive,
by zombiesolutions
In which Indy meets Jar Jar and has a colorful rainbow adventure with the Ewoks to find the midichlorians. The film will be specifically designed to hit as many sour notes as possible; causing the frighteningly large world of fretful geekdom to cry and scream and shit themselves while vomiting with rage. This will cue a massive national outrage in which 9 out of 10 geeks will say -- while cursing, and making wildly outrageous racist, homophobic, and otherwise hateful comments -- that it's the worst movie ever made, they hate it vigorously, and they can give you meticulously detailed "proof" as to why: because they have seen the film in the theatres about 600 times (even though they "hated" it) and are planning on boycotting the DVD... okay, not boycotting, but they're only going to buy one copy of the Extended Edition instead of 2 or 3.
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Damn seeds.
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Indy and Friends went out with class at the end of Last Crusade. Let audiences remember him that way, riding off into the sunset.
We already have a new Indy-type for modern audiences. His name is Captain Jack Sparrow, and he's a hoot. -
sad...
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Jan 22, 2006 12:17:32 PM CST
Indiana Jones and Buckaroo Banzai - Across the 13th Dimension!
by catvutt
Harrison! Peter Weller! Goldblum! It can't miss!
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Jan 22, 2006 12:19:21 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Temple Beth Israel.....Josh's Bar Mitz
by hypeendshere
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Sean Connery plays dual roles as Indy's father and an wheelchair-bound James Bond as Indy goes undercover as a millionaire Bingo player to locate a mystical Bingo Ball machine. Of Doom.
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Jan 22, 2006 12:26:28 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Deeply Personal Art Films of Doom
by zombiesolutions
I thought Lucas was going to focus on his "deeply personal art films" now that he finished the Star Wars prequels? I guess he changed his mind?
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Jan 22, 2006 12:30:11 PM CST
i think Lucas took some time to reflect and soul-search and real
by hypeendshere
so let's whip up a new batch of cartoon muppets with glow stick movies!!
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WHERES THE ZONE?!
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You'll never leave it once you sit down!
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"Better hand me the Fleet's again, Calista dear..."
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Mmmm.....gooey!
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Jan 22, 2006 12:54:41 PM CST
Raiders of the Lost Kidney Stone costarring William Shatner
by toulouse
The opening scene in Raiders actually takes place in Bill Shatner's penile canal.
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Wow.
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Jan 22, 2006 1:15:22 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Tunnel of Doom- Molo Ram! Prepare to meet
by toulouse
Mola Ram shuck tee day. Mola ram utters the chant to remedy the compacted colon of Doctor Jones and then reaches into his back end. Doctor Jones! Doctor Jones! sniff sniff I love youuuuu! cries Short Round -
Jan 22, 2006 2:36:41 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Relatives Who Never Visit of Doom
by zombiesolutions
"Why don't you ever visit? It's because I'm old, isn't it? I found the Ark of the goddamn Covenant you gosh darn ingrates! That's it! Your out of my will!"
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"Come here and give your grandpa a kiss... Don't be scared sweetheart! Oh, now your crying. Its okay. Here, have a nickel for a soda pop. She has her mothers eyes, she does. *Sigh*."
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"How can I watch my stories now that the remote is gone?! sweetheart, would you mind changing the channel for your grandpa? Oh thank you sweet heart! Heres another nickel."
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Jan 22, 2006 2:43:20 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Common-Room Checkers Match of Doom
by zombiesolutions
"Ha ha! King me you damn Swede!"
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Jan 22, 2006 3:24:45 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Infernal Music Kids Listen to Today...of D
by toulouse
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him naked all balled up in a corner illuminated by moonlight from the window. In walks----scratch that--shuffles Jar Jar who trips over him, farts and then steps in some CGI pooh. It'll be great. It'll introduce Arthouse for the kiddies demographic. this film will be for them. Not the typical Arthouse crowd.
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Jan 22, 2006 3:33:49 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Pesky Buick LeSabre Limited of Doom....or
by toulouse
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"Things were so much easier before all these new fangled changes."
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Jan 22, 2006 5:49:41 PM CST
RE: "i think Lucas took some time to reflect and soul-search and
by citizen arcane
Not only do I disagree with that but I think that Lucas said more with Revenge of the Sith than Clooney said with Syriana.
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"I think that Lucas said more with Revenge of the Sith than Clooney said with Syriana." Clooney did not write Syriana...perhaps you mixed up your words...did you mean Good Night and Good Luck?
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Jan 22, 2006 5:59:51 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Politically Incorrect Crusade of Doom
by chishu_ryu
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What?! What did you think that worm was in Empire?
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The "what is he to hecuba or hecuba to he" line of our time.
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Jan 22, 2006 6:10:22 PM CST
i'm not starting a new vs. old debate or anything, but what
by hypeendshere
it won't lead to a huge debate or anything. i didn't see Clones or Sith.
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Because life is the way we audition for God; Let us pray that we all get the job.
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Jan 22, 2006 6:16:39 PM CST
Indiana Jones Versus The Loch Ness Monster of Doom - sir sean
by toulouse
Schay Junior, ole nellie'sch been acting up. I schuddenly remembered my charlemagne....no wait...I forgot..Ah, schit.
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Jan 22, 2006 6:18:10 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Quest for His Glasses that are Actually St
by catvutt
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Jan 22, 2006 6:27:33 PM CST
REVENGE OF THE SITH is a Brilliant (Although Ham-Fisted) Politic
by zombiesolutions
Best line in the whole film, issued by Natalie Portman as the Republican -er- Sith controlled Senate gleefully turns the Republic into the Empire: "So this is how liberty dies... to thunderous applause."
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Jan 22, 2006 6:29:59 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Long Winded TB Post of Truth By ZombieSolu
by zombiesolutions
sorry for the previous post, but it had to be said. i'm sure the Feds will be busting down my door any second now.
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Jan 22, 2006 7:00:57 PM CST
Indianapolis Jones(Indy's adopted grand-kid) and the Raiders
by chishu_ryu
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Jan 22, 2006 7:07:10 PM CST
Indiana jones and the Republic that has Three Branches of Govern
by toulouse
plus when George's term is up, he's gone. Nothing he can do about it. It is doubtful that the constitiution would be ammended to allow him to run for another term and even so he would have to be re-elected. Sith was no deeper than a cheesy love song by Meatloaf.
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Jan 22, 2006 7:10:48 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Worst President In US History of Doom
by zombiesolutions
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(black, of course)
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Jan 22, 2006 7:14:23 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Even Worse than President Harding of Doom?
by toulouse
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Jan 22, 2006 7:24:05 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Black Gold Toe Socks with White Shorts of
by catvutt
Gotta be with shorts, Toulouse.
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Jan 22, 2006 7:32:48 PM CST
Back at ya: Indiana Jones and the Black Gold Toe Socks with Whi
by catvutt
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Jan 22, 2006 8:00:50 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Black Gold Toe Socks with Garters, White S
by toulouse
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Jan 22, 2006 8:10:46 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Vengence of the 2 Bewitched Darins of Doom
by studioplant69
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Jan 22, 2006 8:18:56 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the TalkBackers With Multiple User IDs of Doom
by zombiesolutions
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No offense, but the liberal left has been saying this EXACT SAME THING since the 60's. And will be saying it in the 2060's. Guess what? It isn't going to happen. It didn't yesterday. It won't tomorrow. And it won't in a hundred years. There isn't any conspiracy to rule the world by the Republicans. Do you know what is going to happen when George W. Bush's term is over? A Democrat will probably be elected, and will probably serve two terms. Then a Republican will be elected, or a Democrat. Doesn't really matter, because the balance between the two ideologies is what makes this country, and will continue to make this country, a great place. YOU. ARE. WRONG. I only wish I knew you personally so I could say it to your face in about 2 years. And while I might be guilty of actually responding to you, why don't you bring up the political stuff in a political forum? Leave the movie forums to movies. For instance: The fact that you liked Episode III renders any opinion you have inept, because that movie is a piece of shit.
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The words Indiana Jones don't have to be in the title guys.
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if you're going to go political, at least go comical!
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The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!
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Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom...
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Jan 23, 2006 2:53:19 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the rightful president will return in 2008
by gingertwit
http://pointers.audiovideoweb.com/stcasx/avwebnjwin9536/ptv/dspan/gore.wmv/play.asx
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Jan 23, 2006 4:16:53 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the turdo charged, fuel injected 16valve wheel
by dirkd13"
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my goodness, there's a map, and it was hidden in my pants all along!
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...would make a cool movie!
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Jan 23, 2006 6:59:07 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Return of the Evil Black Robed Sword Wield
by chishu_ryu
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Jan 23, 2006 7:06:39 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Ultimately Incompetent Neo-Nazis of Doom
by chishu_ryu
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Thanks, its been real, and its been fun. In fact, its been real fun.
I just wanted to give this forum legs until today. Until next time....
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Jan 23, 2006 11:41:12 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the last chance to post on this thread before
by jugs
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Jan 23, 2006 1:08:41 PM CST
Indiana Jones and The Red Headed Bastad Stepchild of the cinema
by studioplant69
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...but it was a blast while it lasted. Good job, folks.
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Jan 23, 2006 3:15:10 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the I Wish Natalie Portman Was My Girlfriend
by forestal
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Jan 23, 2006 4:24:36 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the George Lucas, Kevin Smith, Joss Whedon, JJ
by studioplant69
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Jan 23, 2006 5:28:46 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Search for Actual Original Screenplays for
by r.c. the "wise"
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Jan 23, 2006 5:30:32 PM CST
Indiana Jones, Bill and Ted's Excellent Crusade to Find Osam
by r.c. the "wise"
Ok...I'm done now :^D
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It keeps going ang going...
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We had our fun though, didn't we?
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I am amazed by and allured to alliterations.
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Surgeons! I hate Surgeons. Come on people keep this going.
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Jan 26, 2006 7:06:30 PM CST
Indiana Jones and the Sequel That Should Have Been Made At Least
by forestal
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Jan 29, 2006 1:29:37 AM CST
Indiana Jones and the Bootleg Indiana Jones DVDs of DOOM!!!!!!!
by forestal
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no other silly talkbackers crowding up the lines in this talkback!
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LOL and now I see what you've been up to.
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wrong movie, I know, but still....
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and getting it onto the Top Ten may arouse the ire of the AICN admins. Aquaf@g paid a pretty high price for it. I know it's 5 times the size, but don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow and find a good chunk of these posts deleted, and possibly your TB handle banned. I'm all for this Yack, it's hilarious. I just want you to know...
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"Scruba my rod"??(The "Dr. Henry Jones" anagrams were brilliant before, so consider this my homage to it.)
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"So Barmy Crud"???
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"A CRUMBY RODS"???
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"A BRO SCUM DRY"???
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