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Landis, Gordon, Dante, Hooper, Garris, Carpenter, McWeeny & Swan Making More MASTERS OF HORROR!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Dang, how connected is Herc?? My pal Kevin Biegel wrote Tuesday’s “Scrubs” and now my other pals Drew McWeeny and Scotty Swan are again collaborating with “Cigarette Burns” director John Carpenter on a second episode of Showtime’s “Masters of Horror.”
AICN West Coast editor “Moriarty” tells me McWeeny and Swan finished a draft of their as-yet-untitled teleplay, which deals with the abortion issue. Vengeful fetuses, one gathers.
Other directors now confirmed to return for season two include Mick Garris (“Chocolate”), John Landis (“Deer Woman”), Stuart Gordon (“Dreams in the Witch-House”), Joe Dante (“Homecoming”) and Tobe Hooper (“Dance of the Dead”). Brad Anderson (“The Machinist”) is also aboard for season two.
Learn more of “Horror’s” second season here!
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I for one am happy about this. Sure, there have been some lame moments this season, but there have also been some episodes that really kicked ass.... so this is good news.
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Enough, already. There have been two half-decent episodes so far in the current series - neither of which include the abysmal, 'Cigarette Burns' which should sound the final death-knell for John Carpenter's illustrious (until 1988) career.
The series is nothing short of stale dung - Uninspired, badly-acted, atrociously-directed and pathetically-written and appealing to juveniles who get aroused by a bare titty or (more disturbingly) buckets of blood and gore. A perfect example of BAD TV. What gets me is that they renew this crap, yet cancel decent shows (I won't list 'em). Makes no sense. -
Jan 19, 2006 9:12:56 AM CST
Given how truly mediocre this season has been, who gives a shit?
by leiadown&fuckher
Masters Of Horror? Past Masters Cashing Cheques more like...
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Somewhere in that "lots of borrowing" storyline may have been something cool and original. But, "Cigarette Burns" was just plain awful. Neither of the two bit Blade villain actors could step up in what amounted to pointless gore and bad acting.
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I thought it was the strongest episode so far.
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I'm glad Moriarty is getting more work, but I was still heavily dissapointed by Cigarette Burns. I can fully understand why people didn't like it, but I'm not entirely sure why those who loved it did love it. It was far superior to Dance of the Dead and Dreams in the Witch House, but had nothing on the pitch perfect Incident on and off a Mountain Road. Damn glad to hear that Brad Anderson is going to be doing an episode. Herc, any news on whether Miike's episode was indeed dropped from the season 1 lineup?
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Good Lord, if you're going to do a season 2, at least get new directors! This season has been horrendous so far. The only remotely decent one has been the Argento one, and I don't see his name on the list for seaon 2.
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Don' care if you like it or not (never trust the opinion of a talkbacker ;) )I will watch it!
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And to compound it all, the suggested retail price of the TV series on DVD is $19.99 PER EPISODE!!! So not only do they steal 1 hour of your precious time each week, they also want to extort you for the same amount as you would pay to buy, say, King Kong on DVD when it's released. Never have I come up with a better metaphor for a Dirty Sanchez!
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Don't know if the Miike episode's cancelling was posted here yet- sorry about the stretching of the board- but this needs to be known...
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/19/arts/television/19horr.html?oref=login -
allergic to links- the message is that "Imprint" was cancelled by BLOWTIME for being too nuts- i.e. mutilations and abortions of a disturbing nature. According to Garris it's the most disturbing thing he's ever seen- yet he didn't want to force Miike to cut it and instead opted for it's full version on the eventual dvd release. The link above that I posted also goes well into Imprint's plot- sounds unsurprisingly like it would have been the best one. I cancelled HBO for this? March baby. March. I'll have HBO back with a bada-bang. Fuck Blowtime.
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Just heard about this too....what bullshit! This show blows so they should end it with Miike's episode.....what have they got to lose?
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while being the best episode was highly unoriginal- It was pretty much The Ninth Gate only with a movie instead of a book.
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i hate to complain but maybe somebody involved in this show may actually be reading this. what the hell happened?!? how in the hell did this premise fail? how is it that week after week such impressive directors could deliver such mediocrity? wait, not mediocrity. turds are more like it. every time i've sat down to watch one of these episodes i think, "well, maybe this one will turn it around. perhaps this one will be the one that harkens back to some earlier brilliance from the director." unfortunately, that hasn't happened. i'm not alone in my thinking, am i? it must be clear to everyone (including the people involved) that these shows are not working. what astounds me is how consistently bad they've been. and i'm doubly astounded because i wanted this show to succeed very much and i still try desperately hard to recognize anything that might be inspiring or just plain old cool in them. nothing yet. jesus christ, these guys were given such an interesting and promising opportunity to go hog-wild and create hour long horrors. and these are the results?!?!?! you
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Jan 19, 2006 10:35:08 AM CST
Landis, Gordon, Dante, Carpenter, McWeeny: Which of these names
by nate champion
One of these days you'll be a superstar, Moriarty. Good luck with your next episode.
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read the posts above-
it seems that Miike HAS made a truly horrifying episode- and that's exactly why Showtime won't show it. This series can lick my balls. -
How about a comment on this whole Miike debacle?
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Jan 19, 2006 10:38:10 AM CST
Cigarette Burns was terrible... Brad Anderson is a master of hor
by chickychow
They made me (yes MADE me) sit through that horrible Mick Garris episode but won't give me the Miike? What assholes. And gee, can't wait for another John Landis ep, his was soooo scary and disturbing - truly a master of the medium, like Lucky McKee. This show turned out to be a huge miscalculation.
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if that's the case, fuck showtime. what a bunch of absolute pussies.
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Can it?
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Jan 19, 2006 10:43:58 AM CST
Chuck is right - these directors had a great opportunity and com
by chickychow
every week it was like "Okay, THIS one will surely be cool, right?" then with every passing minute I'd slump back and shake my head, watching as nothing interesting was done with the format, no risks being taken, nothing. altho gotta disagree with ya on the Hooper ep, thought that was one of the strongest, if only because it had an interesting setting and execution. the Coscarelli, Gordon and Malone ones were on the right track but still fell off the rails.
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I find it so odd that some people felt that Hooper's was strongest- personally I can't think of a shittier hour of "horror"- oh wait- I most certainly can- Mick Garris's "Chocolate" and Dante's "Homecoming". Problem with Hooper's was taht you get the sense that it's building up to something really extreme- they even reel in Robert Englung to announce that something we've never seen before is about to happen- with all these cornball sleaze goth rock kids hanging about acting ghoulish- then we get some lame electric prodding of half dead people so we can see them twitch- oi vei.
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Jan 19, 2006 11:03:37 AM CST
I'm not going to bash, because at least SOMEBODY out there i
by roguewriter
... but no, this season of Masters of Horror wasn't really what I expected, or wanted. A couple outings were promising ("Deer Woman," "Homecoming," "Fair Haired Child," "Cigarette Burns") but for the most part, they yielded little more than weird Twilight Zone tales w/ a little pay-cable-quality T&A and a whole lot of gore. The STORIES were the lacking element in most cases. Gore for gore's sake doesn't interest me; I'm looking for the kind of subversive, canny writing that made old horror features such as DAWN OF THE DEAD, HELLRAISER and THE THING (both versions) such delights. All these masters should be able to find, channel or WILL that kind of writing once more -- I'm still waiting to see it in action. Again, at least horror isn't a dead art altogether on television. We'll see how season 2 stacks up...
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it should have been called MASTERS OF TEDIUM AND CAMP
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Some episodes were crap (Chocolate, Homecoming), but I find most entertaining, and some, like Deer Woman, a downright hoot. But they don't scare me a bit, nor do I expect they would scare anyone. Dance of the Dead was a neat SF story, but bore only the trappings of horror. If the idea is to give us an anthology with a variety of tones, fine. But it's not what we were led to expect.
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It makes me angry because here we have a whole bunch of talented genre directors (and Mick Garris) who have all been bitching for years about how hard it is for them these days to mount new projects and get them financed, and then when something like this comes along, something where they're given pretty much carte blanche to do whatever they want, just so long as it fits within the confines of an hour long, and every single one of them phones it in with something that ranges from the truly mediocre to the downright shitful. Not one of them bothered to take advantage of the situation (as evidenced so far at least), NOT ONE. In fact in most cases so far even their most ardent fans would have a hard time identifying each directors work they are so damn phoned in, stylistically bankrupt and soulless. I mean as a die hard horror fan I've supported most of these guys all through their careers, through the ups, the downs and the inbetweens. Through the projects that worked, the ones that never came together, and the ones that were better than they generally got credit for being, never writing them off for any particular bump on the road that might not have ultimately come off as expected, and I always looked forward to their next outings and hoped for the best, because every time, even on the projects that didn't work, you could still see the love and the effort and the hard work and the attempt at trying to make something great. Sometimes things just don't work, for whatever reason, but you could always see these guys efforts to try and make it work and to try and deliver something worthwhile and interesting. But this series...I have never been so disappointed as a horror fan and as a fan of most of these "masters" in all my damn life. And it doesn't piss me off that some of the episodes were bad, what pisses me off is that fact that it feels like none of these guys were even fucking trying. Like they didn't care, like they were just there to lend their (brand)name and cash a cheque. There is such an overwhelming feeling of apathy flowing through this show it's just...disheartening. It truly is. I wasn't expecting miracles. I figured some would turn out good, some wouldn't, some would be great fun, while others would try hard but just not quite come together. What I wasn't expecting, and what I just wasn't prepared for is just how fucking soulless and empty and half assed this series would turn out to be, how these past masters wouldn't even bother really trying or putting any level of care or attention, or even god damn interest into this project at all. I just wasn't prepared to see so many great directors not even remotely give a damn about something they were creating. I mean if this is where their heads are at, then seriously, they should all just fucking retire right now, relax and rest on their laurels with what they've already contributed, rather than diminish their contributions to the genre even more with yet more phoned in efforts that they clearly don't give two shits about, and can't be arsed putting any effort or passion into whatsoever. I look at these, each week hoping that maybe this one will be the episode to break out and shine, yet every time it's been yet another once great director clearly showing no passion, interest or effort whatsoever as they deliver yet another lifeless episode to our screens with utter soul destroying apathy. It's fucking depressing is what it is. It's one of the most depressing things I've seen on tv in quite some time. I mean if you think the state of modern horror is depressingly crap (and let's face it, most of it is), believe me, that's nothing on just how depressingly crap this series is, created by a whole bunch of people who should know and be capable of far better. It's just...sad really.
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I'd cancel my subscription if I had one. Good thing I never got one for this series. Why aren't horror fans up in arms over this?
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Jan 19, 2006 12:39:13 PM CST
I finally saw the Deer Woman ep. So far it's the only one I
by big bad clone
Dream in the Witch House was so sadly like The Outer Limits. Cut out the boobs and limit the blood and I could see it shown at 1PM on a rainy Saturday on a broadcast station.
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Just wait for the pro-lifers to take that on as a mascot.
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Jan 19, 2006 1:01:29 PM CST
Hooper made TCM for less than 15 minutes of his MOH episode
by kung fu hustler
That about says it all right there. We all know these guys are capable of great things on low budgets (TCM, Halloween, Phantasm, etc). How do you squander the opportunity to make a horror short with a budget 100 times what you once made a feature with?
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Vengeful fetuses flop around during the end of "The Revelation." Can one of the Masters of Horror turn "The Store" into a movie someday? Market it as the movie Wal-Mart doesn't want you to see and you're guaranteed to generate a little controversy and make your money back.
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I had the highest of hopes for this series, and I couldn't sit through one of the episodes. That one with the zombie soldiers? Fucking embarrassing. The Tales from the Darkside TV series was better.
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....Season 2 cant possibly be any worse than Season 1.
Jandis' "Deer Woman" is the only watchable episode so far, and with it announced that Showtime doesnt have the balls to show Miike's "Imprint", Im not holding out much hope for the last few episodes.
But hey, like someone else said ealier, at least someones making an atempt to have some sort of horror programing. Too bad its not worth watching. -
Jan 19, 2006 1:33:44 PM CST
Tales from the Darkside...heck, Nickelodeons "Are You Afraid of
by kung fu hustler
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LOL. And it's so fuckin' true.
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All this talk about which were the good episodes - I'm surprised there's not more love for Dario Argento's "Jennifer." Yeah, you could see the ending from about 100 miles away, but still it packed more than one sequence (the cat, the fellatio) that was worthy. Gotta agree on Hooper's though...man that was unwatchable... Can't wait to see Miike! I'll pay $19.99 for that one!
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Jan 19, 2006 2:14:03 PM CST
So, basically, Garris and Showtime know this show's a dud...
by kung fu hustler
...and, to make money off of it, will add Miike to the DVD's but not air it?? Thank God for Netflix, saving me from having to buy the box set!
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there is no box set- talking about making money- you don't know the half of it- the episodes are being released on DVD individually at regular DVD pricing. Fortunately for us- they'll probably only be one episode worth buying- Miike's... the bad news is that it'll take a while for Miike's to come out since they're being released two at a time a month starting in March- with Miike's disc no where on the schedule as of yet... Check TVSHOWSONDVD.com for the schedule info and for box art of the first two episodes...
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That's actually good news, but seems like a bad business decision. Who would buy even 1/4 of the first season?? Oh well, whenever Miike's is released, I'm there. The rest can rot on the shelves, then in the bargain bins...
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Jan 19, 2006 2:56:38 PM CST
i cant believe how many ppl are saying positive things about Dee
by chickychow
If anything it was the LEAST horror-oriented of the series (guess Homecoming ties, altho thats a better ep) - it was like a bloody Dream On episode for shit's sake. other than Brian Benben and the smokin' titular character, the acting was fuckin atrocious, as was the screenplay. u ppl kidding me?? I'm still surprised that one of the best came from William Malone - with that ep I got pretty much what I was expecting from the series.
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like who in their right fucking mind would actually buy Mick Garris's "Chocolate" episode- one of the crappiest single hours of television I've ever sat through... and mind you I've seen some crap sucking TV
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Jan 19, 2006 3:35:56 PM CST
Showtime cancelled Takashi Miike's episode, so the "they can
by johnnada
It's a good job Anchor Bay had already financed it and that we'll see it on DVD.
http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=news&id=5731
I'm very disappointed to hear Carpenter is collaberating with Drew again (and this is not Drew hating, just the simple fact that Carpenter is a far better writer than him). The dialogue in that episode is basically what let it down, especially its repetitiveness. The concept was good though, but I was hoping Carpenter would write something of his own, get back to his high concept sci fi/horror.
Just want to say that Sick Girl blew me away, and it was an episode I was expecting very little from. -
Deer Woman was horrendously written and acted.....The Deer Woman herself, although incredibly wonderful to look at, accomplished something I've never seen before.....she succeeded in having no dialogue at all and still be one of the worst actresses of the series. Her movements and emotions were so stiff and obviously directed that you could practically see Landis sitting there telling her when to smile, when to look sultry, when to look angry, etc.
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Cancelling Miike. They won't get any more of my money.
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came back to read this and am glad to see that i'm not some fucking horror snob who is being too picky and expecting too much. this talkback should be proof to any "higher-ups" that might be reading that something has to change for this series to be salvaged. personally i'm shocked that there even is going to be a 2nd season. and boxing these 1st season episodes in pairs and charging full dvd price?!?!? holy shit, what balls! i feel for the naive fools who buy these. i
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Jan 19, 2006 9:50:29 PM CST
Miike's episode proves that they could do whatever they want
by leiadown&fuckher
Of course that doesn't mean showtime will air it, but it did get made, and will be released on dvd, so carte blanche was indeed given. And Carpenter doing another mediocre McWeeny/Swan script depresses me more than I can adequately put into words. Not only was cigarette burns derivative of a whole bunch of better things, it had hands down the worst dialogue and so called character development of any episode this season. And I don't say that just to piss on "Moriarty", I honestly hoped it would be good because I'm a huge Carpenter fan, it just...wasn't. I mean if it had just been a variation on a well worn theme, but still managed to bring some life to the idea and be a fun ride then that would have been fine, but it was ultimately just a derivative, poorly scripted, mediocre mess that did little outside of remind me of so many other movies, books and short stories that did the same thing, but far better. Carpenter and Udo Kier both deserved better.
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That most of the guys working on this show shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a fucking movie camera. I've been watching every episode and so far they've all: 1: Totally failed to scare. 2: Annoyed the living piss out of me. And, 3: Were embarrassing reminders that the guys who helped define the genre don't know when it's time to leave the show.
I'd also like to mention that "Cigarette Burns" was easily the most annoying of the bunch.
Then they get a director, (Takashi Miike) who could easily be called "A Master of Horror" and what do they do? They pussy out. Fuck Showtime. -
Jan 20, 2006 12:37:36 AM CST
OK, a genuine question for the ranks: Would they scare a younger
by roguewriter
I would agree that most of Masters of Horror was anything but frightening, and only in one or two instances even disturbing to look at ("Jenifer" being the big winner there, I think) -- so let me ask this question: Would these episodes have scared us when we were, say, 11? Or even 14? If we HADN'T grown up bathed in the gory glee of THE HOWLING and SUSPIRIA and the subversive, what-if terrors of PHANTASM and HALLOWEEN, would these stories hold more horror for us? Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending them as products more suited to younger viewers! I'd rather my son cut his horror teeth on my old favorites than any of these shows... but if you were 12, and managed to break mom's Parental Control code on the cable box and stumbled on one of these puppies, would they addict you to horror the way really great 70s/80s/90s gems did? (OK, the idea that "Chocolate" would do anything but send any viewer screeching and reaching for the remote is ludicrous, I admit!) Disappointingly, I tend to think these works predominantly pander to the worst aspects of the genre... but I would hope they'd send newer horror fans searching for more clever works by the old masters... Thoughts?
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Well, as long as they don't waste anyone else's time like they did with Takasi Miike. Seriously, Garris - have you seen 'Visitor Q" or 'Audition' or ANYTHING the man's done before before offering him a free hand? And if so, WTF were you and Showtime expecting?
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on wether this will get picked up here in Blighty?? I at least want to see if it's as middle-of-the-road as many of you say. All those directors making a bunch of shite!! I'm not saying I don't believe you all, but I have to see this for myself. Landis hasn't done anything even half decent for twenty years (Soul-Glo!!)
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Your correct sir, no movie will scare me like the first Childs Play did 'casue for better or worse the shocks don't work as well as they used to because I've seen so many of these movies I've become destensitised. For a horror movie to be effective the shock value has to come in well written twists in character development................
However the idea of reincarnated fetus' comin back and sucking the brains out of those responsible then snapping there neck actually has potential as a story. -
A minor masterpiece called Croatoan by a littel guy by the name of... Harlan Ellison. I'm guessing Drew's read it a few times...
For more on this shitty series go to the more recent TB concerning it. And Chuck_Schick you are no snob, or if you are there's a whole bunch of us. There is about as much creativity and genuine horror in this series as in a Friday the 13th movie. -
Not only is Imprint finally airing but I found a clip on youtube. Maybe this is why it was canceled. See for youself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7fhWeersI -
This is for all the MOH fans. Imprint is coming out on DVD. Yesssss!! I saw a scene of the film on youtube and now I have to see the rest. If you want to view the clip just follow this link. you wont be disappointed.
BIG BROTHER Upset!! Late-Night HoH Contest Re-Do!!
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