Coaxial

24 5.x Super-Spoilers?? Herc Harbors Heavy Hintage!! Gravitas!!

Published at: Dec. 22, 2005, 1:58 a.m. CST

I am – Hercules!!

Don’t highlight the invisotext if you don’t want to know; it swims in super-spoilers.

24 5.1 FAQ

Herc! The current issue of TV Guide has already revealed that:
* Jack Bauer has been impersonating an oil digger named Frank Flynn. “Frank” has been “shacking up” with a local woman (Connie Britton) and her son;
* Jack will be roused from his “death” by “Eastern Bloc freedom fighters” overseen by a billionaire (Julian Sands);
* Russia and the United States are about to sign an antiterrorism treaty;
* Tony and Michelle, remarried and running their own security firm, “will facilitate Jack’s reentry into his old life and, inevitably, the CTU offices”;
* Jack will “butt heads” with a new CTU leader (Sean Astin) and be reunited with his “G-man mentor” (Peter Weller);
* Audrey Raines will learn that Jack lives; and
* Kim Bauer will stage a “comeback.”
True?

TV Guide has indeed reported these things.

Is there anything TV Guide is … not telling us?
There is.

Wait. First. Did TV Guide get any of it wrong?
The “shacking up” thing might be misleading. Jack is renting a room in the Connie Britton’s character’s house. While there’s some sexual tension, there’s no outward evidence (at least at first) that the two are or ever were a couple.

What’s it called?
7:00 A.M. – 8:00 A.M.

Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is said to be credited to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”/“Angel” vet Howard Gordon.

Does Jack start out with that hoodie-Cobain look he sported in the season-four DVD’s 10-minute season-five prequel?
He does not. Jack starts the season looking pretty much the way he does in Fox’s season-five promos.

Season one began with a plane crash. Last season began with a train crash. What action sets the plot in motion this season?
Within the first five minutes, a sniper’s bullet pierces the brain of one of the world’s most famous political figures. A character we’ve met before this season will cradle this political figure’s brain matter and skull fragments.

The big news?
In the first 20 minutes, a woman we’ve met in a prior season will die. A character we met in season one will witness her death.

Have Edgar and Chloe and Curtis gone the way of Milo?
No fewer than 12 characters from prior seasons return for the season premiere. Here are 10 of them:
07:00 DOD Vet Jack Bauer
07:05 President Charles Logan
07:05 Presidential Aide Mike Novick
07:07 CTU vet Bill Buchanan
07:07 CTU Vet Curtis Manning
07:07 CTU Vet Edgar Stiles
07:10 CTU Vet Chloe O’Brien
07:12 CTU Vet “Soul Patch” Tony Almeida
07:12 CTU Vet Michelle Dessler
07:20 DOD Vet Audrey Raines

Is it true, as reported on IMDb, that Tzi Ma is back for 5.1?
IMDb lies about 5.1. If our intel is correct, Tzi Ma does not reprise the role of Cheng Zhi in 5.1. Ping Wu does not reprise the role of Su Ming in 5.1. William Devane does not reprise the role of James Heller in 5.1. Sean Astin is not in 5.1. Sabrina Lloyd is not in 5.1. And IMDb fails to list several returning cast members who will return in 5.1, including Bill Buchanan.

But. But. Sean Astin. TV Guide said he was playing a CTU …
Astin does not appear until 5.4.

Is Chloe still working for CTU at episode’s start?
She is. In her first scene, we learn that Chloe has something in common with fellow CTU vets Jack Bauer, Chase Edmunds, Michelle Dessler, “Soul Patch” Tony Almeida, Nina Myers, Curtis Manning and Kim Bauer.

What does Chloe now have in common with Jack Bauer, Chase Edmunds, Michelle Dessler, “Soul Patch” Tony Almeida, Nina Myers, Curtis Manning and Kim Bauer?? I must know!
Chloe likes to bone the occasional CTU employee!!

Ew! Edgar??
That. Would be. Telling.

Is Audrey now working for CTU?
No. She’s just comes to visit CTU on behalf of President Logan shortly after all hell breaks loose.

Is Logan in D.C., as he was last season?
No. Like all the other returnees, he is in California.

Any new key characters TV Guide fails to mention?
Two of the biggest are First Lady Martha Logan (Jean Smart), who has a history of mental instability, and Martha’s stunning aide Evelyn (“Rapa Nui” star Sandrine Holt).

Is Milo back?
Eric Balfour was busy with that witless primetime soap about Silverlake.

Supersexy lesbian assassin Mandy? Naked cavorting?
Not in the first four.

One more hint, please, Herc!
Lawman Repay!
Sandbar Slicer!

Will this be a good episode?
One of the best ever. The stuff with the Bakersfield teenager learning of Jack’s secret identity is priceless.

How does it end, spoiler boy?
A photograph of Jack Bauer appears on a computer monitor.

"24" 5.1 and 5.2 air Jan. 15.
"24" 5.3 and 5.4 air Jan. 16.
8 p.m. Fox.









The hot teen daughter from "Invasion" cavorts nakedly in one of the best movies of the year!! Just $19.96!!



KAYLEE!! INARA!! RIVER!! JAYNE!! On Sale Now!! Only $16.98!!

Got three more bucks lying around? Season sets selling new for $19.97 per season!!
ER 1.x * ER 2.x * Friends 1.x * Friends 2.x * Friends 3.x * Friends 4.x * Friends 5.x * Friends 6.x * Friends 7.x * Friends 8.x * Lois & Clark 1.x * Nip/Tuck 1.x * The West Wing 1.x * The West Wing 2.x * Wonder Woman 1.x * Wonder Woman 2.x

Readers Talkback

comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:02 a.m. CST

    first

    by BALTIMOREJACK

    i always wanted to do that.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:13 a.m. CST

    I just can't get myself to read it

    by Acappellaman

    I want to be surprised with what the first two episodes of the Jack Bauer Power Hour bring us. Is that wrong?

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:21 a.m. CST

    But what of Behrooz, Herc? What of Behrooz?

    by L.H.Puttgrass

    Alas... ...he is gone.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:32 a.m. CST

    I can't wait. Soon the Power Hour will be here!

    by L.H.Puttgrass

    Happy Festivus, Everybody!! "A Festivus for the rest of us!"

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Jack Bauer Power Hour!/The Shield

    by glodene

    Man, I'm soooo jonesin' fo' my shit to come back on tv next month. We need some serious edge of yo' seat can't wait fo' next week action and violence to grace our beloved boob tube again.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:58 a.m. CST

    Is this a reveal of the first hour of the 2 parter or the entire

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Because it is listed as a spoiler for 5.1, but surely they are showing 5.1/5.2 in one go on Sunday, before 5.3/5.4 on Monday. So are we being spoiled up to the halfway point on Sunday, or are we classing 5.1 as the entire 2 hours. If anyone has the answer I will be standing next to a staircase ready to avoid CTU detection by climbing them...

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:30 a.m. CST

    you spelt it wrong, it's behrooooooooz.

    by newc0253

    hey, at least we've all moved on from that cougar.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:34 a.m. CST

    No the Cougar returns...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Turns out it was really naked Mandy in a costume...

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:44 a.m. CST

    This sounds awful and yet the previews look very exciting!

    by Regis Travolta

    Sounds like a damn soap opera again. But the one minute commercial I saw looked great! Nonstop action of course that doesn't mean anything. FOX schedule cheapens the entire ride though by showing 4 hours over 2 nights you idiots just show 1 hour each week for 24 weeks straight you'll get to go into summer with final episode on July 4th you morons are so damn limited in thinking the show has to wrap up by Memorial Day weekend when May sweeps end you fucking idiots. You would also give the production team more time to do better episodes. Show should premiere on January 2nd and Hour 24 on July 4th. How's that for smart programming strategy. And I think it was Howard Gordon who said in a recent article that they are scaling down now after really big plots this year is supposed to be smaller in scope. But I'm open to being impressed and surprised and hopefully raving about how great the ep's are and cheering the show on like I always do. It's dynamite TV except for the occasional soap opera scenes.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 4 a.m. CST

    I like the two hour back to back idea...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Last year I found it just got me so into it. Not that I wouldn't have responded to one good episode, but I couldn't wait for Monday night after Sunday, and it really gives the story a chance to have an explosive start, we can get a whole series of characters and ideas set into play rather than it taking a month to get to the same point. Also, while avoiding spoilers, I think their big beginning surprise is a long term mistake in terms of the show. Won't go any further than that for the sake of those remaining pure. We may joke about the Jack Bauer Power Hour, but this show was always about more than one particular man, other characters are equally integral.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 4:10 a.m. CST

    Aw crap, I forgot, did Mandy die?

    by Shermdawg

  • Nuff said.

  • that is all.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 5:40 a.m. CST

    Support 24. Or don't. Ignore the political nutjobs.

    by Kauzi Sezso

    It's just a TV show.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Audrey.

    by CatVutt

    Christ. Do we really need her back? Maybe she dies. That'd be cool.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 6:07 a.m. CST

    man, the only thing worse than neocon nuts...

    by grendel824

    ... is idiots who call anyone remotely right of their idiotic fantasies neocon nuts. People who can't handle the idea that political opinions other than their own are at least as valid as the ones they hold should stop cheating Darwinism by leeching off of those who feel sorry for their sorry mental capacities and remove themselves from the genepool ASAP.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 6:10 a.m. CST

    How long can this go on for?

    by The Wrong Guy

    Seriously. It's beyond ridiculous. How many bad days- VERY bad days- can one man have? Stupid, stupid, stupid. It is exciting, though, I'll give it that.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 6:56 a.m. CST

    "How many bad days- VERY bad days- can one man have?"

    by newc0253

    some people have bad weeks. even bad years. hey, look at 1939-1945. or the hundred years war. or the whole middle ages in fact. hell, if you think about it, every millenia prior to 0AD pretty much sucked ass.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 7:43 a.m. CST

    It's a TV show...

    by Kid Z

    ... Fiction, dudes... not a political treatise! Granted last season was a little ridiculous. I could buy the "control-all-nuclear-reactors" macguffin gizmo, but then the terrorists managed to steal a Stealth, shoot down Air Force One, steal the nuclear football, AND a nuclear missile... I mean, Lex Luthor would have a difficult time pulling all these scemes off in one 24 hour time span, much less some Middle Eastern family living in the Valley.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 8 a.m. CST

    Season 6: The Day After and we watch everyone fucking SLEEP.

    by Judas Booth

    As much as I love this show, nobody ever shows any fatigue. In the first season, there were a few moments that showed Jack trying to catch a few zzzzz's or dozing off, but never in the other 3 seasons. Seriously...if you were on a 24 hour adrenaline rush and had a few moments to crash from during a lull, you'd fall asleep hard. Granted, someone like Jack could hack it, but it would be good to see a supporting character like Chloe disappear for a few episodes, saying 'Fuck you all, I'm catching a nap.' Love the show, though. Can't wait for the power hour to return.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Gravitas!!

    by Bob_Loblaw

    Damnit! Hopefully hot Kim Bauer is back. No mention of the car explosion and regulars dying in 5.1?? Soul-Patch better have a major role.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 8:57 a.m. CST

    First in no way is 24 written by one person...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    and second, for the creation of a neo-con nutjob it didn't half make a Democratic President one of the strongest and most powerful fictional politicians in the history of TV...

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 9:35 a.m. CST

    can't wait

    by tranpkp1

    I haven't been this excited for 24 to return for a while, and i wasn't the biggest fan of day 4. Pease kill Audrey, please bring eye candy Kim back, she can even still be stupid/annoying. I thnk audrey surpassed her in both of those things. Was there um a hundred YEAR war newc0253? ;0 I disagree, it take discipline to wait til JAN for 24, but its worth to have ti on every week w/o repeats or off weeks. I am pretty sure the episodes are filmed in advance so that the time contraints dont' affect production too much. I can't stand teh entire month of DEC is repeats. ugh this dead air on tv just feeds my angst awaiting the return of bauer

  • Where are all the chinese guys hunting Bauer down?

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Which was a retread of the previous year...

    by Sean38

    ...which was a retread of the year prior. I LOVED the first season of 24. I liked the second season. By the third season it became clear they were simply telling the same story over and over again but changing up some of the elements. That's when I checked out.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 9:54 a.m. CST

    The Mystery of Jack's Mullet

    by Guy Gaduois

    will not be solved? Why was he wearing that Lhasa Ahpso on the back of his head. In other news - Elton John is gay???? At least they picked some butch wedding rings. Captain Fantastic and Aquaman did not attend...together.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Sean38

    by Kung Fu Hustler

    24 is about, in part, CTU, the Counter Terrorism Unit. So, plots are going to revolve around terrorist acts. Most terrorists have the same agenda, but the details of their plan and who they are can be different. You're reason for checking out seems kind of ridiculous to me, but hey, there's more to life than TV.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 11:34 a.m. CST

    by redtom

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Is that Series 5 preview on the net anywhere?

    by redtom

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Maybe I'm wrong but I thought they've never used the wor

    by oisin5199

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Kung Fu Hustler

    by smackfu

    I think he's referring to it being more specifically formulaic than that. The consistant formuala of each season is episodes 1 - 10 introduce the initial terrorist plot and resolve or nearly resolve it by episode 10, at which point the REAL mastermind bad guy is revealed, but the REAL plot is still a mystery until about episode 15-16, where the REAL plot is fully revealed. Between episodes 15-20 Jack gets presented with one or 2 CRAZY situations which require him to either kill an innocent, or allow one to be killed, for the sake of the nation. It's also during this span that they dig up characters from previous seasons to help jack out on the government level. By Episode 20 the REAL terrorist plot is foiled or near-foiled, and the remaining 3-4 episodes are a long, drawn out personal chase between Jack and the bad guy full of an irritating number of near misses. And then the entire 24 episode span is gratuitously crammed with shots of CTU agents giving each other knowing looks from across the CTU op floor and Jack yelling 'dammit' into his cell phone. Still though, I like it. But I have to admit, you could literally make a program to write 24 seasons.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Season 5 regulars?

    by unwell_arena

    Hey Herc, can you tell us who the credited main cast is for season five, at least as of episode 1? As last year told us (when it was Jack, Audrey, Heller, and Driscoll), the line-up may not remain constant for the entire year...but it would still be interesting to know what the show's game plan is at the moment.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 12:18 p.m. CST

    24 v Lost

    by tranpkp1

    Too much happens to ONE guy? Who cares, let it go. Besides i think the show could survive w/ Almeda! Bond's made 20+ films. Everyone LOVES the ridiculous crap that happens on Lost.... 2 huge shows. Similar yet so different. Both have recurring themes, various sub storylines and multiple cliffhangers / episode to keep people watching. Both leave you wondering

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST

    peter weller!

    by mocky_puppet

    oh, that's awesome. figure out a way to get chris walken into this season and you may have the most perfect television series ever produced in the 500,000 million year history of mankind.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 12:52 p.m. CST

    The only way to watch 24 is to see it on DVD... All episodes bac

    by moviemaniac-7

    And believe me, I've done it with the four previous seasons. Seen 'em on TV and on DVD... Can't wait for the fifth season. Everything looks f***ing awesome so far!

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:12 p.m. CST

    I've recently started seeing someone who looks exactly like

    by DanielKurland

    And it is wonderful.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Reps 'n' Dems

    by RaulMonkey

    They definitely don't play up party-specifics, but I'm pretty sure it was Season One, I seem to recall Sherry and David talking about the good of the party, Mike may have been involved, and they let it slip that he was a Democrat. I don't remember Keeler or Logan ever being specifically referred to as Republicans, but we might assume they are by default, or perhaps the second American party in the 24niverse is a little different.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Ah, the wonders of Internet anonymity

    by Kung Fu Hustler

    I recently started banging this chick who looks just like Mandy. I'm totally serious.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:18 p.m. CST

    if you're in the 24niverse...

    by mocky_puppet

    ...and have sex outside the bonds of marriage, is it called 24nication?

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Kung Fu Hustler...

    by DanielKurland

    I'm not making this stuff up. It's simply my opinion though. Someone else may not think she looks liek her at all, on rather, they may not find Cuthbert to be attractive to begin with. Just stating how things are.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Behrooz's Fate Revealed on Season 4 DVD Set

    by BoyNamedSue

    Behrooz's rescue by Curtis was filmed but edited out for time considerations. I haven't seen the deleted scenes yet, but the actor playing Curtis revealed this in his DVD commentary.

  • If you go to www.24insider.com, some of the information above conflicts. Don't go to the site if you don't want to know what regular character dies in the beginning that seems to be the reason why Jack resurfaces. 24 is clearly the best show on TV... not Battlestar Galactica, not Lost, or any of the other so-so shows you guys seem like here. BTW, John McCain is supposedly going to show up on 24 this season. I hope Jack doesn't torture him because that would be just plain wrong!

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 4:52 p.m. CST

    SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!

    by Novaman5000

    There are supposed to be some massive deaths of main characters in the season premiere... All those people coming back for the first episode? Yeah, I'm betting their cameos are also their death scenes. Damnit, I like Michelle.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Correction on the web address

    by UncleSam

    This is the correct address for 24 spoilers: http://www.24spoilers.tvheaven.com/ no www.24insider.com.

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 7:04 p.m. CST

    I'm banging a girl...

    by Billy_Oblivion

    who looks like either Jessica Alba or Ernest Borgnine, depending on the light. It's true. All bow down before me!!

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Well I am banging a chick who looks just like Edgar... And I jus

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Remember that guy? He ruled...

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Platonic Manlust.

    by Jack_Bauer

    That is all

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 9:47 p.m. CST

    The spoiler boy ending was for the first hour.

    by Hercules

    Here's how the second hour ends: "It'll only be a matter of time before the president is notified of the demands." Ughnnnn PLOP! Ughnnnn PLOP! Ughnnnn PLOP!

  • Dec. 22, 2005, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Alonzo Mosely....

    by DanielKurland

    Well played, sir. An elephant never forgets.

  • Dec. 23, 2005, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Platonic Manlust is one of my three contributions to this site..

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Oh, and IkilledChato, I am sure many of us read that stuff ages ago. However, there are people out there who don't want to be spoiled, so why be a cock about it?

  • Dec. 23, 2005, 4:07 p.m. CST

    pfft, stunt casting...

    by Spike Fett

    Julian Sands? Sean Astin? Bah this looks like total cra- HOLY CRAP PETER WELLER OMFG I'M SO WATCHING WTF THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD FUCK YEAH

  • partisan dickwads on this site can claim that a fuckin neo-con-nazi or leftie-fascist-fuck is in control of the series and hiding messages in there is just plain asinine. You want political pandering, go watch West Wing.

  • Fucking classic! Great show, IMO

  • ... his fiancee was jealous of Heath Ledger. Jealousy is a bitch. Literally.

  • Dec. 28, 2005, 7:37 p.m. CST

    i'll bet Sherry's gonna die

    by v1cious

    actually i'm hoping for it.

  • Dec. 29, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST

    MUST...RESIST...BASTARD PIG SPOILER MONKEY!

    by scrumdiddly

    Also, who came up with "the Jack Bauer Power Hour"?