Cool News
Don't Forget!! Moriarty & Obi-Swan's First TV Episode Ever Airs On Showtime Friday Night!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
It's an episode of "Masters of Horror." It’s titled “Cigarette Burns.” It was written by longtime Ain’t It Cool contributors Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan. It was directed by “Halloween” helmer John Carpenter. It stars Norman Reedus, Udo Kier, Zara Taylor and Gwynyth Walsh. It’s about a movie that kills!
And it made the Butt-Numb-A-Thon attendees squeal with glee!! Learn more of it here. Then take up valuable bandwidth with your predictions and reactions.
10 p.m. Friday. Showtime
Season sets selling new for $19.97 (or less!!) per season!!
ER 1.x
* ER 2.x
* Friends 1.x
* Friends 2.x
* Friends 3.x
* Friends 4.x
* Friends 5.x
* Friends 6.x
* Friends 7.x
* Friends 8.x
* Lois & Clark 1.x
* Nip/Tuck 1.x
* The West Wing 1.x
* The West Wing 2.x
* Wonder Woman 1.x
* Wonder Woman 2.x
-
+ Expand All
-
I'm scared
-
Dec 16, 2005 2:41:40 AM CST
Jessica Lowndes remains the best thing about Masters of Horror
by domi'sinnerchild
What are they putting in the water in Canada?
JessicaLowndes.com -
"Cuz so far the series hasn't been masterful, horrifying or scary - here's hoping you guys hit one out of the park!
-
You want them to push further and further, always trusting they won't go too far. However this week the network would have you believe that episode was pulled due to the series being put on hiatus. It could be no further from the truth. What is contained in that 22 minutes would make your apartment smell more like a slaughterhouse than that time your were talked into a red beard. I will give $200,000 to whoever can find this cursed episode. But only if you have a problem that... wait for it... would take EXACTLY $200,000 to resolve.
-
And I'm sorry, but the episode did absolutely nothing for me. Drew and Scott seem like really nice guys, so I hate being negative, but I thought the episode was a mess. In its defense, it has two things going for it: first, as a 16mm & 35mm film collector, I love the premise. The concept of tracking down a legendary movie print as the basis for a horror mystery is brilliant. The other thing the film has is two decent gore setpieces towards the end. But other than that, it's just a little silly. Here's the thing (minor spoilers to follow): in the first 10 minutes of the film, Norman Reedus is hired by spooky Udo Kier to track down this print of a film that supposedly drove its audience insane. Then moments later, Kier reveals to Norman that he is in possession of a "prop" from the film that is completely and schockingly supernatural in nature. Any right minded person would have a million questions about this "prop" and would probably run away from the offer as fast as feet would carry him. But instead, Norman just nonchalantly goes about the business of seeking the print. Later, when Norman describes his meeting with Udo Kier to a friend named "Timson" (a shout-out to our buddy Anthony T., for sure), he says that Kier is "a little weird" but never once mentions this supernatural phenomenon that would cause most people to re-evaluate their position in the universe. At this moment (which again, is only 10-15 minutes into the film), the movie completely lost me. I know for horror films I must suspend disbelief, but when a character doesn't do anything that even approaches a realistic human response, I can't care about that person or his story. On top of all of this, there is not a single moment of film that would lead you to believe John Carpenter directed the movie. The cast is generally bland (except for Udo!), there's no visual style or panache, no dialogue or moments that make you say "Now THAT'S a Carpenter movie!", something that even the worst of his other films (and even other TV work like BODY BAGS) each contain. It feels like JC was just going through the motions on this one, and cashing the check. Or he let the AD do most of the work while he went to go catch a smoke. Again, I really feel sort of bad coming down on this film since it's got such a personal connection to people on this site, and before you all start chiming in with "Well, where's YOUR movie? What have YOU ever written or directed?" understand that this is not any sort of personal attack. I wish Drew & Scott the best with their careers, and I acknowledge that getting ANYTHING made & shown in Hollywood is a phenomenal achievement, so kudos to them. But all of that being what it us, I still found CIGARETTE BURNS to be a major disappointment, considering I'm a big Carpenter fan and had such high hopes for it. Take that for what it's worth.
-
Well done, guys. Did anyone ever see an eighties zombie flick called Video Dead. It had a zombie David Bowie in it. One of my favourites when I used to actually enjoy watching shite like Street Trash.
-
It was called "In The Mouth of Madness" and was about an author whose novels drove people insane. That being said, I loved that movie and hope JC has some similar creepiness up his sleeve. The above poster has me concerned, and the track record for this series thus far is below horrendous. Mori, if you have a retarded sex demon with big tits in this episode, I'm through with the series!
-
Best of luck to Drew. May the worst thing we hear be: "Hey, it didn't suck."
-
Dec 16, 2005 11:10:09 AM CST
One of the worst things that Carpenter has ever done...
by leiadown&fuckher
And I'm a huge Carpenter fan(atic). Carpenter is just seemingly going through the motions here, he seems...bored, or maybe just uninterested, I dunno, but it's clearly not his a-game. The cast is bland as Hell - okay, Udo Kier is kinda fun, but then he's one of those great character actors who is always great to watch, no matter what (all too often complete piece of shit) he's in. And from a story/script point of view, well I've certainly seen worse, but still that's no shining accomplishment. It's derivative as all hell, but that can be forgiven if things are at least done with a little bit of panache and style and energy, but unfortunately here everything is just so damn flat and unimaginatively by the numbers. But the biggest problem in my opinion is the dialogue. Not only is it flat with very little life or rythym or character to it, but too much of it just comes across as truly amaturish. If there's anything McWeeny and Swann need to work on, it's their damn dialogue and character work, because if that doesn't work and sell then things are on life support right from the get go. Like I say, Udo does his best, but even for someone like him it's often an uphill battle with some of this stuff. It's not traffic accident bad, but it is distinctly mediocre (and I kinda feel like that's being kind). Now believe it or not I'm not saying any of this to be an asshole or take cheap shots, they got something made, good for them, but regardless this is just my own honest feedback after seeing this episode. Agree, disagree, ignore it, or take it for what you will.
-
Would love to read up on Mori's thoughts on any alterations or outright changes made from his script in taking this to the screen.
-
Dec 16, 2005 12:41:49 PM CST
Did Herc see this already? If so, why no review? In fact, when&#
by tophat
Honestly, what is he ...just AICN's own version of TV Guide? Even THEY give better hints and spoilers! Phew.
-
He, as you noted, regurgitates show schedules and tries to make cash off links to Amazon. Get with the program.
-
I'm very happy with the film that John made from our script, but if you feel like reading the original first draft after you see the episode, you can find it at http://moriartylabs.typepad.com right now.
-
Dec 16, 2005 9:01:35 PM CST
good luck drew... and you'd better get EVERYTHING right...
by chickychow
these aholes around here are pretty unforgiving...
-
Is it his son.. or another in a long line of lame pseudonyms?
-
I loved it, I love concepts like movies that kill, or books or even drawings (read one like that recently) that drive people insane. I think my only complaint was that the guy saw a mutilated angel and yet he still acted like he didn't believe what he was hearing about the film.
-
The gore scenes were nice, without them this episode would have been borderline unbearable. I thought the dialogue and script were brutal at points, along with the acting. I was really excited to see John Carpenter step up to the plate, but he really didn't show much. The biggest problem with this show so far is the writing, they really need better scripts. Coscarellis episode was awesome and Dantes was quite amusing, but all the other episodes reeked of mediocrity. I really want to defend this show as it's the only reason I'm keeping Showtime. Hopefully they bring a few of these directors back for season 2 and give them another shot. With all that said, I'll take an hour of failed attempts on this show over pretty much anything on basic cable primetime.
-
The link isn't opening. Somebody hook a brother up. And since I don't get Showtime...any word on a DVD release?
-
best masters of horror yet.
-
Holy shit! Kudos and congrats to Obi-Swan and Moriarty for a top notch effort. I suppose having John Carpenter directing doesn't hurt either. Seriously, I've been enjoying Masters of Horror since it debuted, but I think that this ep is easily the best of the bunch thus far. Slow build, adding tension evey minute of the way until a fuckin' gnarly ending. Awesome!
-
I believe CIGARETTE BURNS and DREAMS IN THE WITCHHOUSE will be available on DVD in either March or May and will be sold individually or as a two pack...Though I'm sure Moriarty can spill the beans more.
-
I got the script to work. Like anybody gave a shit.
-
Definitely the creepiest episode in what has to this point been a very disappointin series. Hats off to Mori and Swan for taking the series' goal seriously, that is, to explore the horrific. On that level, it really exposed Joe Dante's ep for the self-indulgent piece of crap ripoff it was. The idea for what made the lost film so diabolical hit me in a deep place (no spoilers here, sorry). I guess the problem with all these apocolyptic storylines is the difficulty in coming up with a payoff that matches the potential we establish in our minds while watching. That said, however, the creepy factor was very high and the story has really stuck with me. That's a good thing. It'll be fun watching these guys progress as filmmakers. Congrats.
-
I thought it was kinda blah. The lead was horrible and boring. Was he not getting paid or what?
-
For those of you criticizing the writing, I'd suggest reading the original script. It is very smart, very engaging, and incredibly inventive. It really was very literate and had a Chinatown of horror vibe to it. But don't trust me, see for yourselves since Mori has posted a link. It felt to me like Carpenter made a simply passable version of a truly remarkable script. Not to blame Carpenter entirely though as the budgets and shooting time are very limited for this series. But he seemed to make some film school choices: lots of shots of people walking into and exiting rooms, etc. That being said, the final product still creeped the hell out of me for the most part.
-
I enjoyed it, but then again I also have a soft spot for "King in Yellow" type tales. The father was into some heavy over-acting by the end, and I thought that when they showed Hans, they should have gone with a lumpier, Polanski type actor, rather than some diabolically handsome Chris Sarandon type, but otherwise not too many quibbles. I've always enjoyed Moriarty on this site (well, except for that rude bit on "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" review. Seriously, you had every right to make the points you did, but how about sending the reviewer/colleague and email next time, instead of calling him out in public?) MOH has been spotty for me too, but I think this is the risk you run with this varied a group. I was majorly disappointed with Argento, but that might have had more to do with the source material and casting, but the highlights for me so far have been "Dreams in the Witch House", "Homecoming", "Deer Woman" and now, "Cigarette Burns." I hope that the DVD's have some extra material, there was a whole plot thread with Cigarette Burns involving the cinematographer. I'd love to see how that played out.
-
the episode and the script were both pretty good (very good compared to most MoH episodes), with both having advantages. a couple images of La Fin Du Monde in the episode were i think better, but the original script had fewer cliches and less cheesy lines. i don't think too much was changed actually, unlike Eternal Sunshine's early draft. however, i didn't understand either ending, can anyone help me out with that? i'd oh so appreciate it.
-
Ninth Gate rip off,with movie instead of the book.Angel, Udo Kier and gore was cool, rest not so much.
-
Dec 18, 2005 1:54:19 PM CST
Norman Reedus ruined whatever potential the ep might've had.
by chickychow
He was just awful, but so was the rest of the cast. Script wasn't so hot either, doesn't help to remind me of about 200 other movies. But at least the episode had some balls, unlike the ridiculous Landis and Garris ones.
-
Dec 18, 2005 2:05:00 PM CST
"But he seemed to make some film school choices: lots of people
by el duderino
That's a great way to put it, and spoken like a true film school survivor! I've never heard anyone bring that up before outside of USC! Sweet. Anyhow, I have a huge amount of respect for Moriarty and everyone who has had a hand in keeping Aint it Cool afloat, so I want to first and foremost congratulate Drew and Scott for their big break. Moreover, I was only able to catch the last twenty minutes of it, so I can't particularly say that my opinion has any weight to it. From what I viewed, the gory moments came across as rather humorous to me, particularly when the asian man stabs his eyes out. Maybe this is the part of me that was warped by 20 + viewings of "Riki Oh: The Story of Ricky." I'm fairly certain, however, that this was more a flaw in the execution rather than the script, as I could imagine how reading such a description could feel rather upsetting. Seeing it... not so much. Should I have bothered even chiming in with that thought seeing as the full context of it probably wasn't as clear? Maybe not. I'll try and catch the full episode sometime and give a more detailed breakdown of what worked and didn't work for me. I'm sure that would be immensely more helpful that what I've posted above. Anyhow, congrats again!
-
It's amazing, Drew, that you would send that out without heavy re-writing. The premise is cool but, as another talkbacker pointed out, just a thin variation on Polanski's preposterously entertaining THE NINTH GATE. The dialogue is clunky and has no personality or rhythm. And why didn't the guy just go straight to the widow? By God, that was a bad bit of writing. I'm sure the globetrotting and the ambitious imagery will be vastly scaled back for budgetry reasons so I just hope Carpenter can inject some atmosphere into it. Mind you if he still insisits on using Gary Kibbe, who's lighting is as flat and uninspired as any TV soap, then I doubt that'll be the case. Carpenter should have tried to get Cundey back. Not hatin', old boy, just statin'
-
Thought it was one of the better ones so far, but I'm not really a horror buff so take that as joe average guy's opinion.
-
I've seen some pretty explicit gore in other films before but that decapitation scene actually made me cringe. So did the fingers in the neck wound. Who knew Moriarty had it in him? I thought it was a solid episode, one of the best so far, but Norman Reedus felt a little too soft for this kind of role. I think someone with a little more intensity could have held it together better but he did alright, didn't stink up the movie at all. Keep up the good work guys.
-
Clearly the best episode next to incident on and off a mountain road; why? Because Carpenter is doing what it is that a horror director does here; he isn't stealing the moment to do some a-political allegory, or purple out like Argento and Garris. This is gritty shit. But yeah, the screenplay is horrible, the dialogue sucks, and the whole thing is a shameless rip-off of better movies. Get off the high-concept shit. Of course, just further testimony to Carpenter's directorial ability.
-
one when Reedus has that bald fuck sitting on him, then we see "The Ring" and the guy's laying there on the floor, Reedus is free... Later on, Reedus and his father in law in the theater, cut, them both in different places, hallucinating shit... is this just a script malfunction (i.e. no solutions) or terrible directing/editing? Both you say? Understood...
-
Dec 19, 2005 11:19:31 AM CST
I'd still rather read Mori's "Mortal Kombat 3" script.
by rev_skarekroe
I'm not being facetious. I'm genuinely curious.
-
...and would have made a good Millennium episode. Maybe that's what you needed, a true TV guy who knows 45 minute pacing, because Carpie shot the opening like he was going for a full 2. Where I appreciate his slow burn, ala Prince of Darkness, it doesn't cut it for the tube unless your characters are apart of an episodic show. Too much needs to be established in so little time...the overall problem with MoH is that none of the kids involved seem to be students of old-school anthology series like Twilight or Outer Limits. I'm sure everyone would say different, but the final product shows the "Film is better than TV" arrogance is rampant. Case In Point: character backstory. No one wasted time with that on anthology series because it was a killer. Its something meant for film where you can dwell on rhymes and doubling. But not TV. It's too much for too short. My best recommendation would be to tell Garris to change the show to something like Friday The 13th: The Series, so you can dig into character backgrounds or bring in Chris Carter or Morgan/Wong as Showrunner(s)...and don't sweat the derivitive talk. Everyone who says that loves some film or show that replicated another premise, whether they recognize it or not.
-
Why, oh why, can't my town have a theatre that would program a Funny Games, Irreversible double feature? Have to agree though that jimmy seems rather nonplussed at being shown a genuine, 100%, down from the heavens angel. Hard to take the story seriously after that. I mean, who gives a shit about rare films when you have a freaking angel standing in front of you?
-
i mean don't get me wrong, this was awesome for the most... but the script was just really terrible. there also tension. the dude sees all this fucked up stuff, and what he does he do? stands there like a douche.
-
The idea was such a high-on-the-love-of-film one and it ultimately left me wanting more, which can't be a bad thing, right? If one thing could have been done differently, it should have been (as one person above noted) the soul/angel/whatever-the-f*ck-it-was character. That should have been saved for later in the game; it should have been the story's trump card - revealed near the end as solid proof for Kier needing the film print & the final evidence Reedus needed to cement the weirdness that had built up around him. I think for a singular viewing, it's well-placed where it is, as certainly it was an intriguing as all get out concept...but on subsequent viewings it will seem to be premature ejaculate.(Of course it's easy for me to sit here and dole out advice about how it "should have been done".) The great triumphs of the piece, however, were the marriages of Drew & Scott's scripted imagery with Carpenter's eventual execution of them. There were at least half a dozen truly creepy moments within the piece that gave me the serious heebie-jeebies. I watched it late last night for the first time and drifted of to sleep as the credits rolled. As I slept, I dreamed of someone having their neck hacked into by a machete. When television seeps into one's sleeping hours, it's difficult to give it too much guff. Congrats guys!!!
-
Pretty damn good.
-
The lead is not only dull but inept, the execution is pedestriation, the concept is bungled. Udo is great though.
Just because someone is nice or well liked in a particular circle doesn't mean they have earned anything other than being liked.
The fake french accents are a blast.
Loving movies is not the same as being able to make them. This thing is awful and a discredit to all involved.
-
Dec 20, 2005 2:34:32 PM CST
Biggest problem, 44 minutes of "you shouldn't follow the pat
by domi'sinnerchild
Seriously, I checked the clock. NOTHING HAPPENS except for some random gore and Ring effects that could have almost been cut out as far as the actual story was concerned. So he goes from person to person in his quest (over three cities! Production values!) and they all first tell him not to seek the film, but he has to because his father-in-law is threatening him with a gun (and he flips him off? TERRIBLE. Like Paulie Shore terrible. What's the deal there anyway? If the dad has the deed, sell the place and "destroy" him. If he doesn't, how could he legally lock the place up? Running around with a gun was simply a weak story device. Stupid), then they let him advance because he's seen cigarette burns ("marking him"). Yes, you definitely "earned the film" as Frenchie said he would need to. I mean, the whole motivation of dead girlfriend/crazy dad seems pretty insignificant after seeing a mutilated angel and having a bald S&M guy give you a lap dance. Not that he really did anything, all that stuff passively happened to him and apparently none of it even bothered him. Would it be so much to ask for a twist instead of A-B-C-D-E-F-"Boo! Man Servant pokes his eyes out"?
-
...when it's not nearly as vitriolic or full of hate as some of these others? You hate me, right?
-
Dec 21, 2005 1:23:04 PM CST
McWeenie taking my suggestion of creating actual conflict?
by domi'sinnerchild
Deleting your post needlessly was his first attempt, perhaps? Beats "This is my script, what do you think?" "We're not happy with it", "But I saw a cigarette burn", "It's okay then, you're chosen, keep writting".
-
I loved the John Carpenter of 1976-1988. i thought the John of 1989-1996 was fun, if not earth shattering. the john of 1998-present is a disgrace. part of the problem, i think, is that he doesnt have a solid DP with him anymore. Dean Cundey was a master. these new guys he gets for one or two movies, are not. And he readily admits he does things just for money. Now, even with Cundey on board, i dont think this would be a great piece of work, because the story was just too uneven for me. I dont care that the same plot has been done before; hell, Carpenter alone took the "strangers trapped by a common enemy" story and made 4 or 5 films from it, all of them great except for GoM. But everything about this just seemed half-assed to me. Sorry guys.
-
This is one of the best episodes of MOH. Personally, I liked Cigarette Burns. Norman Reedus did a great job. Just a bit of the script could have been better. Overall, I liked it. Great job guys!!
Btw, where I can I find the a draft(first) of CG? Thanks. -
the head chopping and feeding the intestines through the projector were deliciously horrific.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 383 total posts 380 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 111 total posts 111 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 75 total posts 73 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 71 total posts 68 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 77 total posts 55 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 54 total posts 48 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 165 total posts 41 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 41 total posts 41 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 500 total posts 35 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 28 total posts 28 posts