Cool News
AICN's Moriarty Promotes CIGARETTE BURNS On G4!!
I am – Hercules!!
G4-TV (channel 354 on DirecTV) has scored another mammoth coup, having landed the only televised appearance of longtime Ain’t It Cool editor Drew “Moriarty” McWeeny promoting “Cigarette Burns,” the episode of Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” he co-wrote with longtime collaborator Scott “Obi“ Swan.
The episode, directed by John Carpenter (“Escape From New York,” “The Thing,” “Starman,” “Big Trouble in Little China,” “They Live”), was the first screenplay penned by the evil 135-year-old Moriarty to find its way into production. It screened to universal acclaim at Butt-Numb-A-Thon last weekend and will be transmitted this Friday at 10 p.m., right after the “Sleeper Cell” episodes.
Here’s the lowdown on Moriarty’s G4 appearance:
Drew is appearing on G4 TV’s live daily show Attack of the Show this Thursday (7pm EST, 4pm PST). He will be promoting his Masters of Horror show, and possibly providing some film recommendations. I am not sure if this is the sort of thing you want to promote on your site, but I thought I’d at least let you know. Thanks!
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars!! Only $8.99!! 
Got 11 more bucks lying around? Season sets selling new for $19.97 (or less!!) per season!!
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Masters of Horror has been pretty shitty so far. The John Landis episode was the only good one. But thats okay, because it was very very good.
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Man, I really want to watch G4 but it's just too painful. Sorry.
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They need hotter chicks on that show. Sarah's got a lazy eye. Morgan Webb is way, way, way, way, way, way, way hotter. And funnier. And hotter. Kristin Holt is pretty hot, too, but she's totally bad at reading that teleprompter. One of my favorite AOTS moments was when they had Chris Gore on and he repeatedly called High Tension a "zombie movie."
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Dec 15, 2005 3:14:57 AM CST
For the love of all that is sacred and holy, track down the Stan
by shermdawg
Specifically the episodes where they reviewed F4, and Hulk:Ultimate Destruction (cool game :)) Trust me, if you haven't seen this, you're missing out. Stan (not the real Stan) tells about the good old days of him and Jack "Koiby", and of his fondness of sodomizing him with a toy webshooter, and fucking his wife. "Nuff said. Nuff said."
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Dec 15, 2005 7:13:29 AM CST
"I am not sure if this is is the sort of thing you want to promo
by push the button
PLANT! Oh, wait.... never mind.
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...was on X-Play, where they have their tongues planted firmly in their cheeks. (And as someone else pointed out, Morgan is hot.) I particularly liked the Zombie episode, although it dragged a bit at the end.
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from anyone else that might come off as sarcastic but with Herc I just can't tell.
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to save this show from the toilet. Masters of Horror has absolutely sucked up until this point, except for maybe Argento's and Coscarelli's episodes.
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I saw it at BNAT. It's not perfect, but it's pretty damn cool.
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The episodes I've seen so far have been disappointing given the talent involved. I liked the deer chick one with Benben, but only marginally. Going to hit the voting zombie episode next since it's the next one on-demand, but don't have high hopes since the premise is awful. Hoping Mori's installment will be a shining exception!
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http://peasoupy.homestead.com/files/xplay03.jpg
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http://www.g4tv.com/xplay/videos/index_pg16.html (watch the FF review)
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On iTunes, go to the Podcasts/X-Play section. The ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN review has Stan Lee in it.
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Aside from *X-Play*, G4 is atrocious. It ruined TechTV and now its barely even a SpikeTV wannabe. The majority of the talent at the channel (formerly of TechTV I might add) were either fired or quit on their own. Kevin Rose has his own projects (Diggnation, Systm, and The Broken) which you can find at www.revision3.com. Martin Sargent, former host of *Unscrewed with Martin Sargent* is currently shooting a pilot for Comedy Central. His podcast can be found at either Revision3's website or at iTunes. His website is at www.sargeworld.com. If you have a TiVo, you can stream the audio podcast of Diggnation to your television set if you have the latest HME update as well.
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G4 ruined TechTV? TechTV was a failed network-- it's owner put it up for sale. Anyone could have bought it and just dismantled it completely! I am at least happy that G4 gave jobs to most of the staff of X-Play and TSS. Anyways, as much as it may stink, G4 is not TechTV, so people need to stop comparing the two. It's like comparing Spike to TNN, or whatever it used to be.
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This series hasn't sucked at all. Compare any episode to a horror film released this year and the show rocks (except Chocolate-that was some BAD dogshit). Sure, there hasn't been a complete slam dunk yet, but they've all had something to reccomend (save Chocolate, again). If you hated Homecoming, it probably because you were supposed to hate it (I believe thats what Dante said he wanted to do), and you must admit it did have a pair of mammoth balls. And the Deer Woman was fun as hell, even without en ending of any sort.
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I rarely catch the show, but I set my DVR, checked it out, and was amused.
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To say that MoH should be liked because it's better than horror films beings released is like saying I should enjoy having roast nads for dinner because it sure beats eating my dog's feces. Sure, it's better. But it still ain't good. And Homecoming sucked because it was bad filmmaking, not because I disagreed with its politics (which I incidentally don't). I hope for Cigarette Burns to be good, but I refuse to give anything a pass just because what came before was pure trash.
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Good job...definitely cool news!
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Maybe Ringbear9 is right?
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I do agree that Homecoming wasn't well made. It was actually irritating that something so hardcore aggressively political didn't have the skill to match it's convictions. I liked it quite a bit though, in spite of itself, simply because it pulled no punches. Compared to, say, Syriana, which made a big point of avoiding any direct hits, thus weakening the force. Homecoming had Michael Moore size balls, and that counted for something with me-and to be fair, Dante was clearly not even trying to be scary. But I can say something nice about all the rest of the episodes, even the stupid ones like Argento's piece. It may have been dumb, but it was very creepy and effective for what it was, I thought. I have an enormous weakness for horror. I see everything that comes out, in theaters or on video. A big vice, considering how awful its been lately. And after the grueling horridness of White Noise, The Fog, Hide & Seek, Doom, The Cave, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Dark Water, The Skeleton Key, The Amityville Horror, The Jacket, and High Tension, I feel somewhat jubilant over a halfway decent episode like Dreams in the Witch House. It's got it head in the right place. Sure, none of the episodes compare to Devil's Rejects or Land of the Dead (which probably made less than any of the above listed films, goddamnit). But they can't all be filet mignon, especially in this genre. I think I'll watch till the end of the season.
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Probably didn't ask Mori about Kong because the film has alreay been released and hundreds of critics have already reviewed it, so his opinion isn't as exciting. He's the only critic who's seen V for Vendetta though.
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The only shows worth watching are AOTS and X-play, mainly for the cute chicks, and somewhat for the content. Sarah Lane is a perfect host for AOTS - She's tiny, attractive in a non-intimidating way (consider the audience), funny and intelligent, not to mention the way she fills out a pair of ultra-low rise jeans...The rest of the schedule is completly forgettable. Even the anime. How the hell do they consistently manage to program boring anime?
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but that was what we folk call a "joke," son.
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Goonie is a robot. Goonie has no sense of humor. Goonie wants to feel love.
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Dec 17, 2005 1:16:15 AM CST
see, harrist, the fact that Dante wasn't even trying to be s
by holodigm
this is Masters of Horror, not Masters of Politics. instead of using this show as a platform to show balls to the walls horror, he sermonizes, and poorly at that, which is asinine. i haven't seen cigarette burns yet, but of the ones i've seen only Landis' ep is worthy of being called "good", and it was a damn good episode (especially in comparison to the others). watching cigarette burns at midnight tomorrow though, and that's the one i'm really waiting for. after that i'm watching miike's episode and i'm finished with the series.
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just works at G4.
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Liked the use of the vogue theatre, that and actually having it be Vancouver Canada, even if he has California license plates on his car. The projector bit with the innards was pretty brutal, as was the decap. Nice to see this series start living up to it's potential with the recent output [Even if you disagree with that you gotta admit Landis, Carpenter and Dantes are a step up from the first 3-4, even if Dante lays it on really thick at the end of his]
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and by laying it on thick at the end, it's more like...the whole thing. But I like Dante and with the exception of the Howling, he's not really that much of a horror filmmaker, nice attempt after LT: Back in Action. I'd say Landis' is my fave so far, even if it sort of does a riff on Shaun of the Dead's scenario gag, and has some spotty dear effects, loved the references to American Werewolf, and am I the only one reading too much into the main characters whole thing on getting a decent man killed and that being mark you leave on the Earth?
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...was not a failure. All cable channels go through a money losing cycle when they start out, generally in their first 5-6 years. TechTV was about to come out of that, but Paul Allen needed some cash and sold the channel before it hit profitability. Compare that to G4 which has done nothing but lose Comcast shareholder money from its inception with its asinine programming content. The changeover has chased away more than half of the TechTV viewers in the process as well, which is stupid because most of which were in the 18-34 demographic that advertisers cherish. Now G4 is only consistently watched by tweens. As for the ratings, compare TechTV's performance with G4's. TechTV received higher ratings than Bravo did prior to the G4 takeover, and that was also quite a feat considering TechTV was confined to "third tier digital plus platinum" on cable throughout the country and was only part of the "basic" packages with Dish Network and DirecTV. Yet it still received better ratings than Bravo. In comparison, G4 - which is in the basic digital tier on Comcast unlike TechTV which was not - receives worse ratings than the Golf Channel and the TV Guide Channel. So no, Goonie, G4 deserves no credit. They also had the TechTV people move from San Francisco to Los Angeles and then fired most of them just a handful of months thereafter. If they don't pull their act together soon, Comcast will finally pull the plug on that channel just as NBC Universal did to underperforming Trio. Perhaps they could make actual money if they syndicated *X-Play*. If they spun off *The Screen Savers*, it would certainly work on Discovery or on PBS. But I digress...
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...I didn't go to digital cable until well after G4 bought them out, so I don't know what I missed. I do like X-Play, but the rest of the programming is good only for background noise or must be tuned away from ("Street Fury"??? "Fastlane"???? Gimmeabreak!) The prime anime gets snapped up by Cartoon Network; G4 is probably pickin' up the leftovers (or looking for the cheapest they can find).
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"The prime anime gets snapped up by Cartoon Network; G4 is probably pickin' up the leftovers"
Jeesh, isn't there some good old fashioned Hentai that they could pick up. I haven't seen an innocent teenage girl get multi-oriface raped to death by a 12 dicked octopus-demon in a long while. -
You missed their (brief) run of "Colorful!", which was a series of vignettes of men trying to look up skirts and down open shirts. I don't think even G4 is going to run multi-oriface rape scenes, but you can watch 'cute' cartoon animal characters sadistically killed in "Happy Tree Friends" on AOTS and "HTF and Friends"...
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