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Kong sits his ass down in Times Square! For Real!

Hey folks, Harry here. This is EXACTLY why I love Peter Jackson. Because the movie is over. It's in a can, sitting waiting to be shown, but the show isn't. I get to throw a lot of events with Tim League at the Alamo Drafthouse, and we've done a lot of really fucking cool stuff... but, golly... I'd kill to have something like Weta at our beck and call to outfit an event. LOOK AT THESE PICS! That's a fucking 4 story high 1:1 KING KONG sitting in the middle of fucking New York! And he's sad. Look at the eyes, the sculpting... I want to see video cuz in those canyons you know the hair is whipping around. This is so dang cool. I want a GIANT plexi Box in back of my house that I can put him in. I hope KING KONG makes like 7 billion dollars world wide, so that Peter can buy an Island... rename it SKULL ISLAND and create the greatest theme park ever. And the only way to get there is if you're on a boat that goes near the island it crashes on a crag... those that can swim and escape the wreckage land ashore... the others die. And then Peter's on the island with a gun and he hunts the survivors down throughout the Kong sets. Artificially intelligent Robot Dinosaurs and Kong try to kill you and so does Peter. Yes. Yes. This must become true. Um, yeah. Ok, anyway you click on the pic and you get a Kong size version...

Hey Harry,

Big fan for a long time. Hope Quint loves my city, he'll probably have seen this and snapped a few photos but this is a surprisingly very life-like Kong in the heart of Manhattan; real treat to us Kong-philes to see the big guy like this on our daily commutes.


Eric (not quint)

I wish the Blue Fairy would come along and make him alive! That'd be a helluva premiere!

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    very cool indeed...

    by havocSchultz

    let me be the 1st to say fucking rights that thing is on my xmas list... take care.. wreak it well... havoc out...

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    any moment now...

    by calami-shami

    ...he'll start flinging it

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:24 p.m. CST


    by invalid entry

    makes me want to drive over there just to see it.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Is that real?

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    And I don't mean real like is that a real giant ape. But I dunno, it just looks odd, like it was photoshopped in there.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:26 p.m. CST

    that's the second biggest hairy monkey i've every seen..

    by Chief Redcock

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Pffff...It's too stupid to be cool, but it's too cool to

    by DerLanghaarige

    This is the second biggest paradoxon I've ever seen!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:29 p.m. CST

    "Am I the only one, who sees the giant monkey!?"

    by DerLanghaarige

    From which tv-series is that quote?

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Although Chief Redcock juts used a quote from "Get Smart" and re

    by DerLanghaarige

    Just like I did.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    actually the Chief's comment was a reference to

    by mrgreentheplant

    The Secret of Monkey Island, a very old (and very awesome) computer game. But that game ripped off Get Smart to begin with so yeah.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:41 p.m. CST

    "Who shit on the coats?"

    by Ribbons


  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Yeah this is pretty cool, but...

    by Shermdawg

    WHEN THE HELL ARE THEY RELEASING THE GAWD DAMNDED X3 TEASER????? Call Favreau, have him get in touch with Rattner and have him ask him for craps sake. I better be seeing Juggernaut before the day ends. *sigh*

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:48 p.m. CST

    The new Kong toys

    by Screaming Brain

    I have to say all the new toys.. action figures, whatever, look like complete SHIT. I've had the McFarlane 1933 Kong box set a few years now and this new crap doesn't even come close to the coolness of it.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I thought Quint already had tickets, why is he camping out in li

    by FluffyUnbound

    Ba dum bump.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 12:54 p.m. CST

    All right, Kong, we know you're up there.....

    by cookylamoo

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Isn't there a height requirement for the NYPD?

    by Retrace

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:05 p.m. CST

    This is the Movie Godzilla should have been

    by Rcamacho2278

    A good movie with good hype giving us all warm feelings inside. Godzilla betrayed us, with mathew broderick sucking it up big time. Which is why I always said, king kong won that fight against godzilla.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Much like the bunker button on "LOST",

    by Mr Nice Gaius

    I'm setting the clock so we can measure how long it takes before Ringbearer9 chimes in here. You know you're going to can't're weak.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Interesting, snaggle tooth is back

    by Bass Ackwards

    Must have been working on this sucker for awhile.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:12 p.m. CST

    This reminds me of the 76 version when they were hauling that li

    by Orionsangels

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Did those cops jam a broomstick up his ass?

    by Det. John Kimble

    Maybe that's why he looks so sad.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:13 p.m. CST

    by itanshi

    hey man, japanse make the zilla movies better than the US, get final wars but yeh peter jackson is the man, and a giant monkey in the big apple works great should have stuck it on the empire state building tho.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:14 p.m. CST

    cops are gonna bust him for public defication

    by ChickenGeorgeVII


  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:16 p.m. CST

    I know this is for the premier

    by Boba Fat

    but he'd be cool laid at the bottom of the Empire State with phony cracked paving stones around him.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Wait a minute--

    by coen_fan

    You mean there's a King Kong movie coming out? There's been remarkably little hype, especially around here.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:29 p.m. CST

    macys day parade

    by young1

    it would've been a better promotion if they catapulted this giant kong onto one of the floats during the parade... the ensuing mayhem and confusion would've been priceless promotion.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:30 p.m. CST

    If Lucas pulled something like this...

    by Citizen Arcane

    ....oh why bother.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:35 p.m. CST

    I just got back from a screening. it FUCKING SUCKED, but ill se

    by HypeEndsHere

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Harry's Kong Review

    by CrimsonGhost

    I am really looking forward to Harry's Kong review, but I just realized with shock horror that there is a good chance Harry will step up with his absurd "Red State/Blue State" nonsense...please, Harry, for the love of all that is Cool, keep the politics out of the review...I just want to geek out with this film without thinking of the current state of politics in this country...I'm beggin ya, big guy...give the people what they want, a geeked out, freaked out review of unabashed joy!!!!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I gotta admit, despite how this site has over-hyped King Kong...

    by Uncooked_Meat

    ...that is pretty fucking cool. Now would someone PLEASE tell me when the damn X3 trailer goes up.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:06 p.m. CST

    A King Kong remake news on AICN? Shocking!

    by JackPumpkinhead

    I mean, this site has been literally ignoring the film, and now there are TWO King Kong news items in ONE day? Unbelievable!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:09 p.m. CST

    CrimsonGhost - But...


    KING KONG is so obviously about the red states hatred of relationships they can't condone like GAY MARRIAGE or loving a Gorilla. It's this non-stop senseless hatred for the misunderstood and the "right's" complete lack of empathy that has caused so many of this country's problems - and KING KONG is just bringing all of that to the surface to force the right to kongfront their own issues.... .... .... Heh. Just Kidding.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:13 p.m. CST


    by Incrediburgible

    Gah, they made his cape brown and his panties are gay. - - - - - Am I off topic??

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Fo da wank'az...

    by MrNelson

    U suck balls the sise o' die planet. The wowd is like telewision... When you don't want Kong, skiip to di odder channel. Maybe some christian channel on how Disney distrtibutes movies about God and Faith. You don't have to be here, you creationist MF-ers. Mr.N.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:17 p.m. CST

    wow hypeendshere....

    by slappy jones

    i never would have guessed. you sound like you have really mulled it over and taken your time. you don't sound like you had made up your mind before you saw it at all. not from your other posts or anything. post away. your review will be as relevant as ringbearers existance on earth. not very.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Empire Magazine from the UK haven't posted a review yet but

    by slappy jones

    "A group of us from the office attended the press screening in London bright and early yesterday morning (VERY early in the case of Sam Toy, who was there at 6am) and came out bouncing. Reviews are embargoed, of course, for another week, but I don't think that the word "waow" constitutes a review, really."

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 2:31 p.m. CST

    heypeendshere didn't see it. Wait maybe he did. Yeah and may

    by Thirteen 13

    The scant few advance screenings they have are near impossible to attend unless your somehow connected or part of the press, or just plain lucky. All he'll do is post an angry filled negative review based on spoilers that any Kong fan who has done the research already knows about.

  • They should stick it on the side of a building, somewhere. Maybe Kong should go on tour.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Thirteen 13, you fucking prick...

    by Uncooked_Meat

    ... SANTA IS REAL! Damn you!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:09 p.m. CST

    13 and slappy, please don't be douche bags.

    by HypeEndsHere

    there were two screenings today at Loew's 68th and Broadway in Manhattan. I saw the first (10am). i was skeptical from the commercials/trailers, but i really liked the first hour. then they got to the island. SPOILERS---it starts with a boring 10 minute boat-navigating-the-rocks in bad CGI. then, there are strange New Zealand natives from Mordor and a weird slo-mo sequence during the attack. (also, the slo-mo is used when Adrien Brody types "Skull Island") then, we get a CGI gorilla. it's not Kong. it's a CGI gorilla. never do you feel - 'that's Kong'. there are strange sequences with giant slugs and bugs and dinosaurs that i can only presume, are useful for the King Kong video game. (without these action bits, the video game would resemble Rampage) so, they chloroform Kong and jump cut to Broadway. yep, 5 guys drag Kong out a mile into the ocean and keep him drugged until they sail to New York apparently. speaking of poor editing, there are two places in the film where a scene is clearly missing, but that can be fixed in the Extended Edition. anyway, after Kong escapes, he plays with Naomi Watts on a frozen lake in Central Park for roughly nine hours. why nine hours? because that way, we're treated to a scene where Kong signs 'beautiful' to Naomi regarding a sunrise. that's right: Kong is Koko the signing ape. and he appreciates beauty. got it? well, if you don't get it, Jack Black's final words of the film beat you over the head with it: "It was beauty that killed the beast." sorry if i ramble, but i just wasted 3 hours at a screening at which only a handful of people applauded. some of the women were sniffling at the end, though. if you're looking for a couple of nuggets of fun, you'll spot a sign that reads "Sumatran Rat Monkey" (from Dead Alive) aboard the ship. also, Jack Black tries to get Fay (Wray) to be his actress, but she's busy shooting a movie with "Cooper". anyway, i really wanted to like this as i love Dead Alive and LOTR trilogy, but this film strangely felt simultaneously lazy and rushed.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:10 p.m. CST

    "Is Kong anatomically correct?"

    by Uncooked_Meat

    would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this? although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by MOSDEF

    Does he smile? Please don't tell me King Kong fucking smiles...

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:11 p.m. CST

    also, i'm assuming most people in 1933 had seen an ape.

    by HypeEndsHere

    why not capture one of the 4 million fucking dinosaurs on the island?

  • I'm sure Jack Black planned on coming back to the island for more creatures or to set up a Jurassic Park sort of ride.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Kong sort of laugh/smiles the way a chimpanzee does when Ann dan

    by HypeEndsHere

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:19 p.m. CST


    by occams_razor

    Kong looks kinda small to me but I'm sitting at a computer looking at the thing. I'm sure if I was there I would be impressed with his size. Fuck, it's a Monday.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:23 p.m. CST

    This guy has a lot of music for download

    by MondoGundark

    Found on the parent directory...

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Why not dinosaurs?

    by Wingnut1A

    Thats because Kong is KING!!! That crazy showman (Jack Black) would settle for nothing less than the biggest and best.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:28 p.m. CST

    oh, and by the way: You will want Mr. Hayes and Jimmy dead after

    by HypeEndsHere

    SPOILER ---->And what happened to Jimmy? you'll get to find out in that Extended Edition, i reckon.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 3:32 p.m. CST

    So Kong isn't a gorilla? Yeah, OK. Whatever.

    by FluffyUnbound

    Kong is absolutely, positively a giant, scaled-up gorilla. The special effects of the original represent the best efforts to create a giant gorilla on film possible at the time. There seems to be this thought out there that the original Kong's effects were deliberately fake-looking or "fantastical", and that viewpoint is simply rubbish. It was simply the best they could do in 1933. And that's a bit of a problem for a remake, since the original's sensibilities regarding what a giant gorilla would be like reflect the somewhat childish and Barnumized American attitude towards nature and the savage that were prevalent in 1933. You can't credibly make that movie today, because when Man walks into the forest and meets a 25 foot gorilla, you can be fucking-A sure that it's Man who's in the wrong. Jackson seems to have realized this, and that's why he has adjusted his Kong accordingly. Kong SHOULD BE LIKE Koko the signing gorilla; Denham is the villain / monster / douchebag of the movie. Always was, always will be.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:03 p.m. CST

    yeah, yeah, he's cool and all, but...

    by Snookeroo

    ...does he throw 6 ft. boulders of monkey poo at the spectators?

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:10 p.m. CST

    HARRY, No one cares about this shit--we're all waiting patie


    I don't want another two-bit review from some cyber geek or one of your writers (not that the two are mutually exclusive). I want the mega opus that is HARRY'S review. The one that says "bliss" eight thousand times and talks about your tears during the spider pit scene that finally got realized. If I don't smell the hideous bleach scent of your semen on this screen soon I'm gonna cry too. ("Grown men also cry....Grown men...also...cry.")

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Goatzinger, no one gives a shiot about PEOPLE.


    Kong! Kong! Kong!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Next on goatzinger's to-do list: go to a cheese website and

    by minderbinder

    Instead of sending that dough to Louisiana or Pakistan.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:40 p.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    The thing of it is, where did Kong learn sign language?

  • Thanks, Now I'll never look at a bottle of Clorox again without getting a little nauseous.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 4:52 p.m. CST

    I saw it this morning.

    by Mostholy

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:01 p.m. CST

    another two bit review from a webgeek

    by partyflavor

    I got the opportunity to see Kong at the 10AM screening this morning. I am not a rabid fan, but I was excited to see this movie and I really, really wanted to love it. Overall, it was a fun movie, but it absolutely couldn't live up to the hype it has received (especially on this site). The other reviews I read before going today were mostly correct. The movie was too long, but there's no way that there was any movie house in which there wasn't a dry eye--unless they saw a different movie than we did. With regards to the length, I'm not one to complain about long films, in fact I enjoyed the LOTR run times, but this one really was too long. Others have said it is long in the right place--the beginning. That's true, but it's unnecessarily long in the beginning which leads to my complaint. I checked my watch occassionaly (which I never do if the movie is holding my attention) and I think there was at least 45 minutes at the beginning that could have totally been cut and you would have had a much tighter film. For me, the movie could have started when the ship blows its fog horn. I'm not unfamiliar with expository scenes, but it was totally extraneous to try and get to be interested in these characters we know will be dinosaur fodder later. The movie really starts with that fog horn, but doesn't really start to tick until Kong is on screen. Unlike Hypeendshere, I enjoyed Kong and I think that Andy Serkis did an amazing job in portraying him. One complaint I had is that there simply wasn't enough of the title character! I didn't even mind him smiling while he slid on his butt. The relationship between Kong and Ann is the key to the story and PJ did a great job with that aspect. Once Kong is introduced into the picture, the movie takes off and rarely lets up. Kong v. the T-Rexes is great and a lot of fun. I did find myself questioning a lot of the decisions that characters made--it was like watching a horror movie where you're yelling at them for being so stupid and not doing what a logical person would do. I think there are a lot of contradictions in style. PJ couldn't decide if he wanted this to be a B movie or a real blockbuster. There are several times where he opts for the easy way out with a scene jump and you just have to assume stuff happened. Some of the plot contrivances are so B film that it's not funny. Speaking of not funny, Jack Black is uh, okay trying to be not funny. The problem is that even when he's serious people wanted to laugh at him because they expect him to be funny. His line he delivers at the end is a real groaner and so cheesy. Adrien Brody was a non entity in this film. They could have cast a no name and saved a few bucks without having lost anything. Naomi Watts.....mmmm. She was beautiful and gave a great performance. Towards the end there is supposed to be a serious scene with her and Kong and you keep getting gratuitous shots of her cleavage- nice, but kind of distracting for that scene. The guys at WETA are amazing and did some great stuff with this film. The Island and NYC were both beautiful to look at and really worked for the movie. Finally, going into this film, I was kinda hoping for a Titanic experience-- a overly long movie where everyone knows the ending, but it ends up being something great that reaches everyone. This was not that kind of movie for me. It will not make more money than Harry Potter; it's also not a film as appealing to women as Titanic was. I would have paid to see this movie, but I'm kind of glad I didn't have to. I also disagree with people who say this is the kind of movie you have to see twice. I think if I see it twice, I'll be skipping the first hour until Kong comes in. My recommendation is to lower your expectations and maybe you'll enjoy it for the great popcorn flick that it is.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:05 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't have gone with the "sad" look

    by 007-11

    "dignified" baby, "dignified".

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Oh, sorry, Ribbons.

    by FluffyUnbound

    I didn't mean that Kong should literally employ ASL. That would, of course, be absurd. If Kong simply points to a sunrise, however, I would not find that any more difficult to believe than Koko petting a kitten. [Unless there's some subplot I'm not aware of where Naomi sets out to teach Kong ASL, and where she signs something first and then he imitates it. Then I could believe he would employ actual signs. Of course, I would also consider that the worst subplot of all time.]

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:27 p.m. CST

    I want..I want ..I want..I hope.. I want.. what are you Harry, a

    by Windowlicker74

    I don't think you'd be among the ones that'd escape the wreckage and land ashore though. What a bummer!

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Check out the honker on Brody

    by Doc_Strange

    He could trip over that thing, damn.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Sasha at Oscarwatch LOVES Kong!

    by Riff Randall

    This coming from a woman who was never a fan of LOTR: "At a 10 a.m. screening of King Kong the audience was I don't know how Peter Jackson managed it but he's made one of the year's best films with King Kong, a movie so dazzling, so moving, so enthralling it blows away the competition. It is, in my opinion, more moving that all three Lord of the Rings films. Jackson has outdone himself. Some may find it corny in places, but...great movie."

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 5:57 p.m. CST

    The cop second from right

    by Magic Muppet

    is Sean Connery from the Untouchables. Something you're not telling us, PJ?

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 6:21 p.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    You might actually be right and that's what happens, in which case, that's not really that absurd. It's something I hadn't considered though. My kneejerk reaction to it -- and I'm assuming those of other people on this board -- was that Kong signed the word "sunrise."

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 6:23 p.m. CST

    What Kong signed....

    by partyflavor


  • Dec. 5, 2005, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Boffo rave review from FANGORIA

    by Yojimbo Jones

    Boffo rave review from Fangoria: "Let

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Come on, you can't be serious. I don't believe Kong act

    by FluffyUnbound

    Are we talking about some finger motion you dickweeds are choosing to mock as a use of sign language, or does Kong explicitly and specifically use sign language? This is literally the first time I have heard anything about this film where I have to step back and say, "If true, that is really, really, really ghey."

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 7:43 p.m. CST

    he doesn't sign in ASL (spoilerish)

    by partyflavor

    He doesn't actually sign like Koko does, but he mimics what Ann does when she says the word "beautiful" while looking at a sunset.

  • After tomorrow you gonna have to start putting PJ up there with the DeMilles, Hitchcocks, Lucases and Spielbergs of this world. Watching 'the Making of Bad Taste' recently I thought to myself that it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke. I hope he takes home a bunch of those shiny statuettes again too.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 9:10 p.m. CST

    workshed should get a prize...

    by slappy jones

    ...for being nice. it makes a huge change from all the negativity here. you would think everyone here hates films the way they go on. nice one workshed. they have worked their balls off and they deserve huge success. they certainly do more than write "the cg sucks" on a message boards repeatedly. i am as guilty of it as anyone so good one workshed.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 10:41 p.m. CST

    What Partyfavor said [Spoilers -- Turn Back]]

    by Mostholy

    On the ESB, Kong repeats Ann's hand movement (for "beautiful") from their first sunset date, at the old Kong Burial Ground. Whether it's ASL or not is beyond me.

  • Dec. 5, 2005, 11:45 p.m. CST


    by stvnhthr

    I love how they have this giant gorilla but still need like twenty signs saying KING KONG. Like someone is going to be walking by and say, "Blimey, that is a big ape. Who is it? King Kong you say? I guess I see the resemblance."

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:42 a.m. CST

    I always thought they took Kong

    by Monkey Butler

    Simply because they actually managed to capture him. If you've got a giant gorilla already, why would you keep risking your life just to try to get more freaking huge animals? If they'd managed to gas a T-rex I'm sure they'd have just left Kong there.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 5:10 a.m. CST

    'bleach scent of your semen'

    by GingerTwit


  • Dec. 6, 2005, 5:40 a.m. CST

    I'm sitting here trying to imagine Kong sliding down on his

    by GingerTwit

    And as a referance, from what I know of Gorillas and apes, it would be like you or me slidding down with our Butt cheeks spread and going bang smack bullseye. Would you smile? He's a funny old fellow this Kong. I'm scared.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Lets not beat around the bush here...

    by GingerTwit

    It's beautiful, everyone agrees. But even the 'lovers' of this film giving it praise have each and everyone of them thrown in something along the lines of 'some people will not like blablabla'. Thats how I tell people to expect a star Trek next generation film. Yup, it's good. But some people will not like blablabla. When was the last time you saw a film and had to add to your love of the film, 'it's great, but some people will not like blablabla'. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm seeing it everywhere. Seriously, NOT one review has given full kudo's. Only polite Kudos. They all throw in; 'some people will not like blablabla'. Is that annoying you yet. I'm baiting, because this talkback sucks.

  • Besides, in theory they could always go back and get a freaky mutated bat-critter later. Lead with the strength. (In the original movie, and even its remake, the deal was working until Kong thought someone was attacking Ann.)

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 8:10 a.m. CST

    If I was a critic with a Rottentomatoes link, I would totally pa

    by FluffyUnbound

    That's how you generate a lot of hits. Like that Alexander woman used to do with the LOTR films. Get out there early with an antagonistic negative review and watch the click-through's roll in. Add a feature where people can comment on your review, and the subsequent flaming will act as a click multiplier.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 8:13 a.m. CST

    They chose to capture Kong rather than a dinosaur for the same r

    by Citizen Arcane

    It's a stupid fucking story. However, as an FX guy, I fully support this and every other CGI laden crapfest that pays my bills.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 8:25 a.m. CST

    In Which Hour Does Kong Say "Tickle Amy" Through A Texas Instrum


    Also, Snookeroo? You're welcome. And remember: protein gets out protein but that doesn't mean you have to duel swords with your best friend. Just a helpful laundry hint.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Is the NYPD hiring?

    by LitCrit621

    Nice to see them pushing affirmative action.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:26 a.m. CST

    I sent Harry this review, but it is negative, so you'll neve

    by Thunderballs

    I checked out the afternoon screening of King Kong at the Loews Theater on 68th and Broadway in NYC. It was jammed, lots of people. Getting into the joint was tough, as people were getting yanked from the line left and right for one reason or another. But once inside it was fine, they even gave out free bags of popcorn, free bottles of Coke and water, and a cool collectible Kong cup. Unfortunately, that was the highlight of the afternoon, because then we had to sit through the movie. I won't bore you with what the movie is about, for everyone knows the basic story. Let's just cut right to the point. Peter Jackson is an overwrought filmmaker. The guy truly has no sense of the difference between good drama, and very bad drama. That, combined with the fact that he refuses to edit any scene, makes for one heck of a disappointing film. The problem actually arises from the commentaries on the LOTR DVDs, wherein Jackson, Walsh and Boyens reveal themselves to be screenwriting hacks, throwing around buzz words from books like "How to be a Successful Screenwriter" and "Screenwriting from A-Z." The script for this film is so painfully embarrassing in parts, I actually winced. All of it is on display here, first with the moronic exposition at the beginning. I refer you to the scene where Naomi Watts' theater has been shut down, and some old man talks to her, telling her all the exposition about herself that he would never say in real life. It's almost like, okay Old Man, explain to us why this woman would get on this boat. Everything is so formulaic, so forced in the first hour. And scenes just go on and on, with all these pregnant pauses for what I suppose was dramatic effect. Just bad. The Skull Island stuff is pretty good. The natives are pretty scary, but Jackson resorts to the same stupid motion/shutter effect he did in the scene with Pippin and the Palantir in ROTK, totally out of place in both films. One awesome sequence is when the natives kidnap Ann. They do this cool pole vaulting thing to get through to the water. Unfortunately the natives disappear soon after they sacrifice Ann. We never see Kong stepping on them, or eating them, none of that cool stuff from the original. Kong eats some of the shipmates and steps on them, but no natives. It was pretty weak from that standpoint. I only remember Kong eating one person, and you don't even really see anything after Kong puts the guy in his mouth. There's no Kong leering into women's bedrooms, or undressing Naomi Watts. I remember that shit from when I was a kid being some of the scariest stuff cause it was real. None of that. Kong is too much of a good guy in this movie, which is a mistake. Ann with Kong was good, but too quick and forced. Their connection happens too soon. If Kong is supposed to have been alone all this time and stuff, would he really take to her so quickly? Maybe, maybe not, either way it happens too quickly in the film. Which points to a greater problem here, a general feeling of a rushed, slap dash job. There are no good details in the film, everything is so glossed over, weird for a 3 hour film. Like when they capture Kong, he's laying on the rocks by the water, then they cut straight to the opening night of Kong's appearance on Broadway!!! It just seemed abrupt and weird. We want to see how Ann feels on the long trip home, knowing what Kong is going through. We want to see just something, anything. But nothing. We spend all this time setting up these characters, like stupid Jimmy and Mr. Hayes, and then we gloss over a huge event, like the transport of Kong back to the states. The movie felt incomplete. Jack Black is fine in the beginning for the most part, but gets worse as the movie demands more of him. You want to laugh everytime you see him, which doesn't really work in the second half of the film. Naomi Watts is good for the most part. She has nothing to do really except run around barefoot in the forest, never wincing or getting hurt once. Adrian Brody doesn't make much of an impact. The script hampers all of them, especially by devoting time to Jimmy's fear of looking like a coward and Mr.Hayes saying "Jimmy" everytime he talks to Jimmy. I'm telling you, the script is putrid, pure by the numbers. The effects in the film are quite good for the most part, with some stunning shots of Kong on the Empire State Building, great shots from the planes as they circle. But we never really connect with Kong, because really, in the end, he's just a giant CGI monkey, and it's kind of laughable sometimes. I know that might seem sacrilege, but it is true. The audience today attested to that, as there was inappropriate laughter several times in the film. As well as some hissing, which was surprising. The music was overwrought, the script was overwrought, the editing was overwrought, the direction was overwrought. PJ is really just an effects guru, a good visualist who is a hack writer with hack writing partners. His weaknesses are exposed when the material is not there. Frighteners was awful because there was nothing there. LOTR was good, except for ROTK, cause the material was strong, and the truly bad parts were ones invented by Jackson, Walsh, et al. Let's face it, King Kong is not quite a compelling drama, it is a good adventure movie, but Jackson tries to inject all this false pathos which comes across guessed it, false! The movie had its moments, but for the most part it was kind of boring, and kind of just....there, which is sometimes the worst thing you can say about a film. At least if it's bad you can have passion about how bad it was, but if a movie is merely OK, what is there to say? I would wait for the crowds to dissipate before venturing to this one. There's really nothing spectacular or ground breaking about the film. It has no idea what it wants to be, and has really drained all the horror elements from the story. And PJ really has some balls making this thing 3 hours long. If he had something to say, as in LOTR, okay, I'll buy that, but there is nothing to this movie and it is 3 hours long for no reason. 45 minutes could be cut out without skipping a beat. Ah, who cares, most of you will disagree with me, but you'll agree with me five years from now.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:27 a.m. CST


    by BendersShinyAss

    Dude, I just read your site. Are you for real? Don't flog your book to me, I'm a film geek not a book worm. I was just curious.... were you probed?

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:35 a.m. CST

    My Kong review from Monday morning 10am screening

    by HypeEndsHere

    Greetings. I know you love all things Kong, but I'd like to submit a review that may flat your tire a bit. I have posted some of my angrier comments in a Talkback, but I'd like to elaborate if I may: Like I've stated before, i went into this film as a skeptic. However, because of my love for Dead Alive and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, it would not be right to at the very least give Mr. Peter Jackson the benefit of the doubt. SPOILERS AHOY! (actually, this is not so much a review as a run-down of what I remember mixed with a bit of commentary) And at the start of the film I'm glad I did. As a matter of fact, I'd go so far to say that the representation of New York (as cartoony as it was) was great, as was the performances of Naomi Watts and Jack Black. It should be noted that Black is seemingly playing drama. (though the audience I saw it with laughed at EVERY movement and statement he made until they realized he wasn't in comedic territory) After a movie producer boardroom scene (which liberally lifts a Bill Hicks joke), they're off to make a movie on....(to be typed one finger at a time in shakey slo-mo)... S-K-U-L-L...I-S-L-A-N-D! On the boat we're treated to the rest of the cast, including a weird relationship between Mr. Hayes and Jimmy. Note: You will want them dead. Immediately. Quicker, if possible. There is a scene missing on the boat, but we will have to wait for the EE DVD. On board, it's revealed that the captain is a master at capturing exotic animals and has a shitload of chloroform. For those with eagle-eyes, you'll notice that the captain has bagged a Sumatran Rat Monkey! But alas, we don't see any stop-motion in THIS Jackson film. So....they get to the deserted island. Well, that's not entirely accurate. Their ship dances on the jagged rocks for about 10 minutes while the captain navigates them out of a sticky situation. This is where it starts to go wrong. There are orcs on Skull Island. Or Mordor. Or wherever the hell we are. New Zealand Aborigines? Man, I don't know. All I know is that I've seen it before. How about some African influences? Okay, girl offered to Kong... check! Girl kidnapped... check! Guys go in pursuit... check! Then all these dinosaurs come out of nowhere and the men in pursuit are kind of amazed, but not really. They're more amazed by a 25 foot gorilla. Fine. It's his movie. THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD ENTER THE THEATRE. So Kong defends his damsel from about 5 T-Rexes. It is good and fun. The fight that is. There's nothing more to it than that. You should see it. Eventually. The guys in pursuit are dealing with giant insects and slugs in order for there to be more excitement in the King Kong video game (now on sale!). If this uninvolving action set-pieces didn't exist, sure the movie would move along quickly, but then the King Kong video game (now on sale!) would play like Rampage. Remember Rampage? Ahh... Kong keeps the girl to himself and she's not really that scared. So she dances and juggles to make him laugh and smile (as much as a gorilla can). But after the battle, Kong wants to reflect on the beauty of a sunset. Naomi taps her chest and says 'beautiful'. (I hope this pays off later!) Anyway, they get the girl back and catch Kong (with a shitload of chloroform). And Carl Denham says we're going to Broadway-- THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE THEATRE. Cut to Broadway. (Somehow, 5 men dragged a temporarily sedated Kong to their awaiting ship and take him to NY. No word on how long that boat ride was. But it WAS a shitload of chloroform. Ape gets loose... check! Naomi offers herself to the beast... check! And away they go to spend about nine hours ice-skating in the park like the Coca-Cola polar bear. I know it's nine hours because when army guys open fire, they head to the (SPOILER) Empire State Building (END SPOILER) just in time for dawn. King Koko-- I mean, King KONG-- signs 'beautiful' to show that he appreciates beauty. Got it? No? Not yet? You will... Girl in a slip outdoors all night and on top of a skyscraper when there's snow on the ground without getting hypothermia... check! Ape shot down... check! Finally, at the end of the movie Carl Denham tells you what it's all about when he states, "It was beauty that killed the beast." Crap! I thought it was about robots or something. I'm glad they didn't let me miss the point. THE END. There are a few inside jokes about Fay Wray and Cooper's RKO film thrown in, but there's not much to get other than that. Like I said before, I wanted to like this, but it felt like someone rushed the writing process so that he could see some Kong. He's been waiting since he was nine, as we're told over and over again. The audience reaction was mixed-to-negative. For one of the first US showings, there was little or no applause as we exited the theatre. Don't shoot the messenger... HypeEndsHere

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:35 a.m. CST


    by BendersShinyAss

    Excellent job. You have taken my pre-concieved notions and made me feel satisfied. Prepare to be destroyed.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:45 a.m. CST

    You too, Hype

    by BendersShinyAss

    Good work. I thought that 'transporting back to new york' not being there was a joke, but damnit, everyone is talking about it. An EE sounds like it'll just further embarrase Jackson, should more folks hold this view of kong. Oh well, the man should have shown restraint. curse you LotR. Curse you!

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:52 a.m. CST

    IRONIC: None of it filmed in NYC !!!!

    by optimist008

    None of this film whatsoever was shot in NYC. Many thanks to the filmmakers.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Hint to people writing bad reviews: it may not be the best idea

    by minderbinder

    You come off as a biased guy with a chip on your shoulder instead of someone offering an impartial opinion.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 10:16 a.m. CST

    How can a 3 hour movie feel incomplete? I hope that's not t


    Outside of my talkback ID I wouldn't push my wares on ya. Yes I'm for real. I don't have any memory of being anally probed if that's what you're asking. And I've already been made fun of on these boards for this stuff so feel free, gang, but just know I've heard it all before.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Wrong, HypeEndsHere

    by Mostholy

    "The audience reaction was mixed-to-negative. For one of the first US showings, there was little or no applause as we exited the theatre." -- I was at the 10am 68th St. Show, and there was a good deal of applause and lots of positive reaction on the way out. Obviously, it's a half-full, half-empty kinda thing, but saying the audience reaction was negative is just plain wrong.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Jackson did miss something very important

    by zinc_chameleon

    In that he spent all that time getting us to Skull Island, but no time getting back. Hard on character development. Let's consider what this would look like: (1) Going section is ten minutes shorter, minor characters set up for death (they're going there anyway); (2) Ann FREAKS OUT on Carl Denham, has to be sedated, while he gives her all the 1930's misogynism you'd expect (Sappy dame-Kong's just an animal, we'll all be rich. Remember Burke's speech to Ripley in Aliens (1986) about how disappointed he was in her (and how you hated him). (3) Jack Driscoll after some soul searching SIDES WITH ANN. This makes him more heroic. (4) A scene where Ann and Jack sneak into the hold (which should be disgustingly smelly and dirty, kind of like Ben Hur finding his mother and sister) and Ann reconnects with Kong. Maybe in the EE.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Most holy, for those of us in the balcony, it was a very weak re

    by HypeEndsHere

    I've been to these before. for this film, the crowd exited without looking the organizers in the eye. sound may not travel out to the screen and bounce up to the balcony, but in my experiences, no reaction is a negative reaction.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 12:03 p.m. CST

    David Poland raves, the NY Daily News gives it a double rave.

    by FluffyUnbound

    An avalanche of commentary is coming to bury the haters and drown out their whining.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Bad news for the haters: despite the 3 hours, there's really

    by HypeEndsHere

    Just a few (expected) outstanding action scenes surrounded by clumsy, somewhat boring fluff. Seems the original spider pit sequence was wisely cut. This one, as well as about an hour worth of other scenes could easily go without losing anything. In fact, it would actually gain something: momentum. I'm not saying this is any worse than the 1998 Mighty Joe Young. What I am saying is that, CGI aside, it isn't much better.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Has anyone seen one of the recent TV spots?

    by vinceklortho

    that has Coldplay playing on it. THAT'S what worries me about parts of Kong. It was cringe-worthy with it on there. The other TV spots are amazing. Tons of hardcore action. Oh, well, I'll be there in line with the rest of the freaks on opening day.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:38 p.m. CST

    hype wrote that before he saw it....

    by slappy jones

    admit were never going to like this thing i find funny and this was true of the trailers as well..when a hater sees it it is either a negative audience reaction or people were laughing and when a lover sees it the audience cheered and loved it. face it...we are all biased....

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:42 p.m. CST

    maybe not a double rave but if this isn't a rave i don;t kno

    by slappy jones

    Jami Bernard NY Daily News Peter Jackson's "King Kong" is the most thrilling, soulful monster picture ever made. At last, it can be said without irony - I laughed, I cried. Oh, how I cried. The sequence in which the 25-foot beast and Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), the blond actress he adores, slide together on a frozen pond in Central Park is one of the most innocently romantic moments ever put to film. "King Kong" is also scary. And funny. It's everything people have ever wanted from the movies - action, romance, surprise, plus every monster menace you can buy for a budget north of $200 million. In addition to a roaring, snorting Kong, there's a stampede and deadly pileup of prehistoric dinosaurs, plus spiders and creepy-crawlies of every degree of bloodthirsty. In short, it's brilliant. The gorilla of the original 1933 horror pic and its campy 1976 remake was occasionally to be pitied - poor thing, in love with a screeching blond! But this Kong is an awesome creature: magisterial, melancholy, tender. When he loves, he loves completely and selflessly. Ann Darrow is a lucky woman. Kong turns in the most moving performance of the year, even if it's against the rules to give an Oscar to something that's equal parts CGI, movie wizardry and the facial expressions of Andy Serkis, the actor who made "Lord of the Rings'" Gollum so devilishly complex. Jackson slips in clever, sneaky commentary on the nature and ethics of the entertainment biz, particularly the film industry - whose box-office "King Kong" is poised to conquer the minute he's let loose in theaters next week.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 1:48 p.m. CST

    strange, i admit that i was skeptical going in, that i really en

    by HypeEndsHere

    but because i (and many others) nailed its flaws from viewing the trailer alone, I never gave it a chance. anyone who absolutely raves about the film makes me remember why people see UFOs. Because they so desperately WANT to. Cue Harry's review....

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Hypeendshere. You can give us your real negative review on the 1

    by Thirteen 13

    Your friend ringbearer 9 couldn't even recall if there was a scene where they transported Kong back to New York in the original 1933 version. ROTFLMAO!!!! The word is flooding in that Peter Jacskon hit a homer with this one.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Here is the link to David Poland's review.

    by FluffyUnbound And I am not exaggerating the Daily News reaction in the slightest. Look for yourself. The 5 star Times, Daily Mail and Independent reviews I leave you to browse to yourself.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Pretty much what I expected to hear...

    by Spike Fett

    ..."Not bad, but the original is better." The end.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Katie Couric falls in love with Kong he takes her up to the top

    by Regis Travolta

    Now that's what I call morning television entertainment! Call me old fashioned but it's what I want to wake up to damn it. NBC and Universal are one giant conglomerate now so this is corporate synergy at its finest!

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Thirteen 13 mockingbird lame

    by HypeEndsHere

    first, i don't know who the hell ringbearer9 is. secondy, you've tried that tactic before of negating my actually SEEING the film. that's right. one of us has actually SEEN it. as for woord 'flooding in'. maybe it's possible, i guess. i don't need to read reviews anymore so i'm not exactly looking for them.

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:20 p.m. CST

    i am not saying people can't hate it

    by slappy jones

    i just want the people who were saying that this film was going to be a failure and people would hate it to admit that it looks like they got it wrong because for every slightly negative review there are 2-3 raves...and even the worst review i have seen says you should still see it.... come one haters...we are still to see how it performs at the box office but it is sounding far far far from the disaster you were predicting.go back to your caves and we will see you in a couple of years when lovely bones comes out and we can start all over again....

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:33 p.m. CST

    george lucas speaking about jackson yesterday

    by slappy jones

    "We spent a lot of time together. He's working at a level, but very few people understand what level that is because they don't do it. It's a very complicated form of filming and he's extremely good at it."

  • Dec. 6, 2005, 2:38 p.m. CST

    "King Kong II: What the Fuck Was I Thinking?!?"

    by JackPumpkinhead

    "DENHAM: What the hell came over me? I had an island full of living, breathing dinosaurs, but I came back with a big ape? No wonder the whole fucking city is suing me now! I deserve it for being so stupid! Now, let's go get some dinosaurs! ... COMING SOON: A Peter Jackson & Steven Spielberg Film: JURASSIC KONG"

  • Dec. 7, 2005, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Pretty cool

    by Johnno

    It's a monkey!

  • Dec. 7, 2005, 6:20 p.m. CST

    jackpumpkinhead, i believe that's backwards...

    by jig98

    what the f--k was king kong thinking?

  • Dec. 11, 2005, 11:08 p.m. CST

    IRONIC: None of Lord of the Rings filmed in Mordor!

    by geekzapoppin

    Guess what? Judy Garland never visited Oz, either. 1933 New York doesn't exist anymore. It's not like someone filming RENT in San Francisco...oh wait.