Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with MiraJeff's review of Harold Ramis' THE ICE HARVEST. He didn't like the flick very much. While I don't think the movie is a classic, it's certainly not as shitty as MiraJeff says it is... at least in my opinion. Although I do agree with him about Oliver Platt stealing the movie. Platt rules. Anyway, here's MiraJeff's review!
Greetings AICN, MiraJeff here with a look at Harold Ramis’ latest offering, The Ice Harvest. Although it’s true that Ramis is one of comedy’s most gifted minds, his latest caper is a serious misfire. The Ice Harvest follows Charlie (John Cusack) and Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) as they rob a bank of 2 million dollars and change on Christmas Eve. They do this using paperwork, not guns or anything crazy. Their hope is to lay low and act like everything is normal for the rest of the night, and then split the next day, when everyone is too busy opening presents to notice a couple million missing. Charlie is one of those crooked lawyer types who can always be found lurking around a strip club. He’s been planning this heist for a while, and despite having the brains to pull it off, he doesn’t have the balls to go through with it. And that’s where Vic comes in. They’re both a couple of middle-aged guys full of regrets, with nothing to live for besides money and women. Since Vic’s got the guts that everyone thinks Charlie needs, Charlie must overcome everyone’s low expectations of him in true movie underdog fashion. The film starts out alright, with Cusack standing in a gorgeous frozen field narrating, “there is such a thing as a perfect crime.” But we never see how he pulls it off. Rather than focus on the robbery, which had potential to be interesting, Ramis tries to harvest the comedy of the situation. At first, The Ice Harvest flaunts a sick but subtle sense of humor. For example, when Charlie visits the Sweet Cage, a strip club run by Connie Nielsen, he takes one look at her and orders himself a pineapple juice from the bar. Which is funny, because I hear that pineapple juice makes semen taste sweeter, but that might just be a silly old rumor floating around campus.
The Ice Harvest is a dark comedy that never manages to quite find its footing, plagued by an uneven tone very much like Death to Smoochy. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to laugh at Cusack’s inept criminal or pity him. And in what’s essentially a glorified cameo, Billy Bob plays the same acerbic pessimist he’s been phoning in for a few movies now. It’s like he’s just trying to get extra mileage out of the bitter characters he’s played before. Randy Quaid tries to wrangle some laughs at the end, but by then it’s too late. And why wasn’t this guy in the movie more? What happened in editing? It’s like they abandoned the story from what was supposedly a well-written book, to make time for stuff like Oliver Platt’s character, which despite being the film’s high point, is also beside the point. Not to mention, Connie Nielsen is horribly miscast as a femme fatale, bungling an unplaceable accent like she’s John Malkovich from Rounders or something. She’s reduced to acting like a cheesy phone sex operator, giving a hokey delivery of the stale dialogue Ramis saddles her with. The shining star on top of the tree, the one actor who manages to rise above the mediocre material is Platt, whose performance is best described by Cusack in the film’s press notes as “Falstaffian.” Platt goes on a hilarious Christmas Eve bender, which despite being the funniest thing in the movie, doesn’t seem to really go anywhere. It’s as if the subplot doesn’t even belong in the movie. Platt may be the only reason to go see Ice Harvest, but at what cost? While he makes the movie more enjoyable, it’s still not an enjoyable movie. The only con Cusack really pulls off is robbing you of 10 dollars to see an underwhelming, completely forgettable film. This movie might’ve had a chance if it came out in February, but expect it to drown in a hailstorm of critical backlash. Just because a movie is set around Christmas, doesn’t mean it’s fit for holiday viewing. The Ice Harvest is a cold comedy that is difficult to warm up to. Unless you’re a diehard fan of Ramis, Cusack, or Billy Bob, steer clear of this mess. It’s a harvest that doesn’t yield any good jokes. Well folks, that does it for me until after the holidays. I’m going home to catch the oldest high school football rivalry in the country, and I’ll be back next week with looks at The Kid and I, Transamerica, Pulse, and Grandma’s Boy. ‘Til then, this is MiraJeff bidding adieu…
