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CASTLEVANIA finds a home with Dimension... how fitting...
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Paul WS Anderson's latest ass-raping of a video game property, CASTLEVANIA, has found a home with Dimension films, which is pretty fitting, as I say in the headline. Dimension has put out some of the worst genre films of the last 10 years, now they'll have a Paul WS Anderson movie. As much as I like to pick on the guy, I have to say that if he does CASTLEVANIA more EVENT HORIZON and less RESIDENT EVIL he could make me eat some crow. I'd love for him to pump out something that doesn't make me cringe (ie AvP and SOLDIER) or strike me as incredibly mediocre (RESIDENT EVIL). Get ready for it... Dimension Films presents Paul WS Anderson's CASTLEVANIA!
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No way this will be any good.
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Feel the potential drip from this one!
And watch it turn into derivative, Underworld/Blade-style crap!
I bet the first thing they'll do is set it in modern times or in the near future, thus cocking it right up.
Woe betide anyone trying to make a period horror movie after Van Helsing, especially Anderson. -
I don't think I've taken more flak in my moviegoing life than that which I took for sticking up for "Event Horizon." I still think it's an effective and well-made chiller. Yes, it's also bloody awful, but the fact that it's scary makes up for that. Plus, it has Sam Neil, Lawrence Fishburne, and the lovely Joley Richardson in it.
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Has anyone seen the new Castlevania saga? It's pretty sweet, it's castlevania set in the future. "Aria of Sorrow" and the upcoming sequel "Dawn of Sorrow". It involves the Castle popping up in Japan 2015 and a kid named Soma Cruz goes to Castlevania to combat the evil where some cult is trying to resurrect Dracula. The twist is that the protagonist is actually the reincarnated soul of Dracula and you can choose whether he stays virtuous and fights off the evils of his past life or have him go back to being evil dracula. It makes a nice connection to all the previous castlevania games which includes the Belmonts, the wizard Belnades, and even Alucard who is disguides as a dude in a suit named Genya. Too bad Hollywood doesn't pay attention to the storyline in this type of game. my rant is done, Anderson is going to fail and fail miserably, all hope is lost.
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heck why bother setting it in a gothic moody castle with a haunting symphonic soundtrack. Set it in a disco! With strippers! And a nu-metal techno soundrack. It doesn't even need vampires or whips in it, guns will do. "Errr yeah we're making it for a wide audience so feck the fans of the game, they're just being pedantic for wanting it to even remotely resemble the game". Bring on a naked Milla jovovich, a Uwe Boll cameo and MTV editing and Im soooooo there.
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who will this movie be about? Simon Belmont or one of his relatives?
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Is Christopher Lambert going to be in this one? He waited until the ninja, in the visage of John Lone, got wounded and then went in for a cheap shot. You better hope the ninja coming after you is into crack or you're in deep sh-t. They are going to get this movie sooo wrong. I could use another beer (lots) movie.
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Lordy, that's a good one...um...well, you can choose from Super Mario Bros, Mortal Kombat (and sequels), Final Fantasy, Streetfighter, Resident Evil (and sequel), Doom, Tomb Raider and the obligatory sequel.
As a film i'd pick Resident Evil but that is a distinct case of choosing the best of a very bad bunch.
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Why does he even try? This is just the worst.
I'm playing Symphony of the Night when i get home from work. -
was having a great sleep with wonderful dreams and i get up and i read that....now im a saaaaad panda. it going to be terrible lets face facts, paul ws anderson cant make films, lock the dude up for heavens sake!
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...that I lounge in my floating citadel above the rest of the world I'm going to construct a cannon of unmatched power expressly for the purpose of blasting Anderson right in the eye. -Az
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I'm totally with you on Event Horizon. Yes, it's a bad movie, but looks fantastic and has some decent creep-outs. Also, I'm a sucker for supernatural horror in space, something which Doom sadly didn't deliver. EH is one of my favorite guilty pleasures along with Deep Rising.
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I'd say it's RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE. At least it had a lot of things from the games in it, unlike the first film. Then there's also DOOM, which had similar "qualities". I'm not saying that either of those two is a good film, by the way. I enjoyed them both as dumb fun guilty pleasure type flicks. I sure hope I will be able to like SILENT HILL without having to feel bad and retarded for it.
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As a talkbacker pointed out in the previous Castlevania talkback, the movie needs to adhere to the zany Euro-gothic-through-Japanese-eyes aesthetic which gives Castlevania such a distinct flavor. Attempting to westernize the formula too much will just produce another Van Helsing. It doesn't need a Kurosawa or Wells or even a Wincer to pull this off. If it stays as fucking bugnuts as the games then even Anderson should be able to deliver. It's a dumbass videogame property, folks. And I don't care what you say - Anderson is nowhere near as heinous as the good Dr. Boll.
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The film would have to be entirely over the top with set design and costumes with a decent score if they want to succeed with this. Sure a good script would be nice, but to make some money, they really need to go over the top with music and creepy atmosphere. However, with Dimension funding it, and Anderson directing we'll get another Van Helsing. It needs Warner Brothers and David Fincher...yeah....that'll happen...blah...
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Is the original "Mortal Kombat." Decent fight sequences, Christopher Lambert (Raiden) and Linden Ashby (Johnny Cage) hamming it up, and Bridgette Wilson in a ponytail. (Even if she can't fight for crap.) And that theme...oh, that theme...sheer genius. Sure, the film is campy, but that's half of its charm. And if you can't appreciate the occasional campy movie, what the hell are you doing on this site anyway?
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It will be VanHelsing meets AVP. If he is a true fan of these properties like he (and Bowle for that matter)claims to be, then for Gods sake why not produce and let someone who can make the flick faithful to the game direct it.Like the whole Resident Evil thing,he could have easily just signed on as a producer ,gotten the money going and backed Romero's script and let him direct.They hate these games,deep down they want them to fail.Thats the only reason that makes sense.No one can take an awesome premise (AVP,Resident Evil) and fuck it up everytime on accident.
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The Castelvania series has been near and dear to me since it first released. I've played every sequel. I don't blame Dimension and Anderson for this bad news as much as Konami for selling out one of its best franchises. When will these videogame companies realize they can make more money off of a good movie than just taking the first offer from some ass clown willing to give them a few million?
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Paul Anderson and Uwe Boll teaming up to direct a live action film based on one of the Final Fantasy games....that is the day I give up on Hollywood....
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Nov 08, 2005 7:24:24 AM CST
What I was going to say before a certain person was acting like
by anna valerious
They should get game illustrator Ayama Kojima to be the production designer and Gabriella Pescucci to be the costume designer. That would be excellent...I adore both these ladies' works.
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They're going to make every. single. video game into a movie until they're down to Pong.
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NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nov 08, 2005 8:14:20 AM CST
Fuck, Pokemon The 1st Movie may be the best video game movie whi
by big bad clone
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as far as the other way around goes...I think they're all kinda lame...
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Nov 08, 2005 8:52:08 AM CST
Was NARC based on NARC the video game? Does The Wizard count as
by big bad clone
"Wow, you have a Power Glove?" Yeah, that glove was pretty cool, except that it didn't help you in anyway.
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Didn't that have the first ever footage of Mario 3 in it? Neat.
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Nov 08, 2005 9:32:15 AM CST
I'd say Mortal Kombat has been the best Game-Movie translati
by mahaloth
Final Fantasy was also not so bad; it overcomes its bad script.
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...featured a white frenchman playing the japanese god of thunder. Enough said.
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they just called it Van Helsing.
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It's a new company minus Bob Weinstein and his cronies, at least I think so. Most of the key executives either left or followed their leader. That place was gutted prior to the defection of the Brothers Weinstein. How this effects content remains to be seen.
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Thats a joke.
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Nov 08, 2005 10:11:22 AM CST
There should be a Duckhunt movie with Jim Belushi as that dog
by big bad clone
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I'm talking the original MK of course.
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Nov 08, 2005 10:35:55 AM CST
RE: ..featured a white frenchman playing the japanese god of thu
by citizen arcane
Well they had to do something. They couldn't recreate Raiden as he was, a direct ripoff of the Big Trouble in Little China character. That's what's so insestuous about the whole thing. A video game rips off something from a movie then they make a movie out of the video game, then there's a video game adaptation from the movie....ADAPT A GODDAMNED ORIGINAL SCRIPT, HOLLYWOOD! You have truckloads coming at you every day.
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C'mon guys, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children kicks so much ass it needs new shoes. Other than that I'd have to go with Mortal Kombat as well. The first time I saw that, I was frikkin floored. Too much fun for a kid that was obsessed with MK. then they had to fuck it up by making Annihilation the worst movie ever. ugh, my stomach hurts just thinking about it.
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But MK: Annihilation is not the worst movie EVER. (Though it does suck quite a bit.) For the worst movie ever, I'd say it comes down to a faceoff between "Raiders of the Living Dead" and "Robot Monster." Annihilation can't even lay a claim to being the worst Hollywood-backed flick ever, as that comes down to a three-way race between "Sextette," "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer," and "Battlefield: Earth." Here's hoping MK3 will have the same sense of campy fun as the original.
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After watching I Love The 80's 3D 1982 episode I was reminded that the best movie to video game transition is definately Tron.
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Anderson keeps getting work. It's because out there, in the real world, there is a race of subhuman beings who go to the cinema and watch the horrid crap he s#its out. The funny thing is, if people stopped going to see Anderson's movies hollywood would assume that its because videogame movies are unpopular. They'd never think its the director's or script's fault.
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Nov 08, 2005 12:45:18 PM CST
"....one of my favorite guilty pleasures along with Deep Rising.
by iammrmonkey
I'm so with you on that one! It's the only movie I can think of where the 'comedy sidekick' didn't actually annoy me. In fact, I actually felt a small degree of sadness at the end when he was shot!
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Christopher Lambert was born in NY and raised in France. Thus, like Mel Gibson, he's actually an American.
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"You see a book in the library about the Belmont Family."-From the video game version of "Van Helsing".
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Nov 08, 2005 1:09:37 PM CST
"he could have easily just signed on as a producer ,gotten the m
by godoffireinhell
Actually, no, he couldn't have done that. Constantin Film, the German production company that produced RESIDENT EVIL, passed on Romero's script and fired him. They then flipped for Anderson's pitch and greenlit the film with him writing and directing. So don't go blame Anderson. Blame those who deserve it, namely the money people, the studio.
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After learning who was set to direct this, I asked a friend, if he could have any director, living or dead, direct and possibly write the script for this movie, and if my friend would receive $300 billion dollars to give to the charity or political party of his choice for playing along, which director would he choose? He said Guy Maddin.
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It could have been Revolution.
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"You got 50,000 on Double Dragon?!?!"
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Nov 08, 2005 2:16:48 PM CST
Anderson to producers: "no, no... it's TOTALLY different fro
by uncooked_meat
And Resident Evil is the best video game movie. It ain't sayin' much, I know, but...
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Nov 08, 2005 2:22:02 PM CST
You know, with Dr. Boll dominating the market, I'm starting
by edward brock
When there's no one left to bash him, what else will he have? This guy should quit directing. He's got a decent eye for sets and stuff, he should go that way...
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Nov 08, 2005 2:52:02 PM CST
Totally agree about MORTAL KOMBAT, best game to movie yet!
by brokentusk
In my opinion it's Paul Anderon's best film to date (EVENT HORIZON a close second). EVENT got a little too fucked up for it's own good near the end. Oh, by the way: "Your brother's soul is mine - YOU will be next!" Haha, lame.
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I just wanted to say it.
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Yeah. I WILL meditate. And I WILL destroy you. Because FUCK you.
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...it's not like he's Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray.
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Why don't they ever consider making a Faceball 2000 game?
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Nov 08, 2005 4:24:32 PM CST
I'm amazed that someone made a Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray
by beefywhore
and a little sad that I know who they are...sigh
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Great reference. Well, I don't love him, he's a hack. But some of his films are so entertaining.... basically anything with Orville Ketchum in it (Sorority House Massacre II and Hard to Die). Now there is a character that should have gotten big! The unkillable person that everyone thinks is the killer, but isn't, and just gets back off, shakes off the pain, and doesn't hold a grudge.
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Lambert may have been born in New York, but he's definitely NOT an American. His parents were both French...his father was a financial expert attached to the UN and was thus accorded diplomatic status, so at best he has dual citizenship. And then there's his birth name: "Christophe Guy Denis Lambert." Very American, eh? I mean, I'm aware of Americans who Euromorph their names (since we're on the subject, Christopher "Christophe" Beck is the one that springs immediately to mind), but I haven't heard of too many cases of Europeans Americanizing their names. It's a little odd. Still, he's definitely French.
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I hosted a mini Wynorski film marathon in my living room recently for a couple of friends. The pain of watching Dinosaur Island, Death Stalker 2, The Pandora Project and Raptor was mitigated only by the wanton pulchritude frequently on display and the beer. And the mad acting skillz of man-god Ross Hagen!
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The Return of Swamp Thing, which I'm very proud to say I saw in the theatre, back when I'd pay to see anything.
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Nov 08, 2005 10:06:59 PM CST
If Moriarty writes the screenplay, will Paul Anderson suddenly b
by crispyone
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ok lets see. Dracula returns from a long sleep to obtain a crystal or an idol or some stupid magical peice o shit. Simons got to stop him cause thats what he does appearently oh and his girlfreind is the reincarnation of dracula's long lost whatever. Just to be sure this is a complete drag lets throw in a nonhuman talking thing that has a british accent and is a real asshole. Yeah, and it in da future. DRUNKS CAN RITE TOO!
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THE best Video Game Movie is the Anime Street Fighter or its sequel.
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I still have fond memories of The Last Starfighter.
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this better be good. Hey, fight fans... how should Paul direct the action scenes? I like the choreography of the Naruto series. This might work with real humans. Just have to find five-ten Tony Jaas. Mortal Kombat was a cool flick. I loved it when Cage kicked Scorpion with that double kick (on the bridge). Get that one Karate Kid choreographer. And show kickin' cg that makes sense, not eyecandy. Kubrick and Cunningham AI <--- lost cause.
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THE BEST CASTLEVANIA GAME MADE TO DATE!
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...Why don't you just go and sell out the Metal Gear franchise to these bastards too?
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Don't even joke about that please.
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Nov 09, 2005 7:33:03 AM CST
WIZARD OF WOR: The Movie; BERZERK: The Movie; DEFENDER: The Movi
by zombiesolutions
all coming soon to a DVD clearance sale bin near you. a Uwe Boll / "What Shit" Anderson production...
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Wow, learn something new every day...
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Anderson needs a new job. Starbucks is hiring.
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MK gets the trophy for VG to movie in my book. I have no faith in CASTLEVANIA even being remotely good. I am very excited to see what they do with Silent Hill, and I would be very surprised if Halo sucks. I just don't see how Bungie would let their baby get raped. I always thought it would be very interesting if somebody really creative made GALAGA into a movie with a completely original SciFi storyline and an updated version of the theme song. That would kick ass. As far as best movie to video game adaptation the recent THE WARRIORS game takes that title in spades.
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THIS IS MY WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!! Castlevania has FAR too much class and style for this SHIT! WHY KONAMI!!! WHY PAUL ANDERSON!?!?? WHY!!!!??? I'm currently playing the newest Castlevania, Curse of Darkness, on ps2. Was enjoying the HELL out of it before this news dropped...
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Word
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The fashion can't be generic like a bad Matrix ripoff. I'd settle for that true Victorian/Edwardian corporate goth look <--- needs talented clothes designer like h.Naoto. The date and time should be ambiguous too. Definitely needs a hint of buttrock techno castle music composed by someone like Squarepusher. But, I am afraid that this movie is still going to feel like a B movie when it comes out. That Karate Kid instructor needs to be on this project. He's good with poses. C'mon, Sub-Zero and Scorpion from MK had the coolest poses. Reptile was okay.
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Word.
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Best live action video game movie = Mortal kombat. Best animated video game movie = FF7: Advent Children. Best video game movie ever??? Advent Children... but I've gota hard on that Silent Hill might win that spot, but Advent Children, definately most kick ass animated action film ever!
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I wouldn't give it the "best movie based on a game" award. They have ALL been shitty, and Castlevania will be no exception.........Ok ok, Mortal Kombat may have been a bad movie, BUT, it has been the MOST faithful game/movie translation, and is a guilty entertaining pleasure to watch. Lui Kang vs Reptile and Johnny Cage vs Scorpion are still awesome scenes, lol.
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Scream 1, 2, and 3. Halloween H20. From Dusk Til Dawn. The recent Hellraiser: Hellworld was a surprisingly good film. (of course all the other direct to video Hellraisers were awful!). Sure, Dimension has dropped a bad film like Mimic or Hallloween Ressurection, or Phantoms on us, but they have done some good ones. And I think Paul WS Anderson has made up for his previous crimes like Event Horizon with Aliens vs Predator.
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Mainly because Dog Soldiers was supposed to be about a Trilogy of Monsters movies with the first one being about werewolves, second vampires, third zombie-like Frankenstein freaks. I bet he still has a cool vampire take up his sleeves.
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