Cool News
Uh oh... Paul WS Anderson has come out of hiding! Sorry game fans... he's making a trip to CASTLEVANIA!!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with some sad news to a lot of you Nintendo fans. I remember playing CASTLEVANIA when I was a kid, but I haven't really kept up with the franchise. I played one of the sequels a little bit, but didn't get into it. So, I'm not attached emotionally to this title, but a know a good lot of you are. Paul WS Anderson (RESIDENT EVIL, SOLDIER, AVP) is set to write and direct the video game adaptation for Steve Paul's Crystal Sky pictures. Hey, cheer up Castlevania fans... I'm sure compared to another fantasy video game movie with castles in it ::coughcoughdungeonsiegecoughcough:: CASTLEVANIA will look like a billion bucks!
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Whenever I hear that name, that's all that comes to mind. ACK!!!
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...it can't be worse than Van Helsing.
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I've said it before, I will say it again. All they have to do is make either simons quest on symphony of the night into movies word for word if they have to with the same music just redone with an orchestra although a lot of symphony of the night is already orchestrated. I know just his involvement kills the movie already but the music will save it at least in the eyes of the fans if they get it right. "Bloody tears" from castlevania 2 simons quest, is one of the best and most recognizable video game themes of all time. If they don't pay homage to it in some respect then fuck Anderson! I say him and Boll deserve to be punished for ruining franchises that would otherwise be fantastic movies in more capable hands. FUCK BOTH OF THEM and may their careers wither away and die for the frustration and the bullshit they put the fans through.
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Especially Super Castlevania was great fun, back in the good ol' days, but I'm not going to say stuff like: "Paul W.S. Anderson is raping my childhood" or "Please kill Paul W.S. Anderson to stop him making films". No, instead I will just sit here, remember that he can be a good director ("Event Horizon" "Resident Evil"), has always been a bad screenwriter, now I start to panic, hope that he will make a better job than Sommers did with "Van Helsing" and wait.
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Summer 2007. James Cameron's Battle Angel Alita is released. 2009. Project 880. Filming takes place back to back in 2006. George Lucas WILl watch his back.
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HOW!!!
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I hope Cameron hasn't lost his edge and will come back even stronger.
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Monopoly the movie. Candyland the movie. Chutes and Ladders the movie. Also Hungry Hungry Hippos the movie. Stratego the movie. Dominos the movie. Basketball the movie. I want to see Solitaire the movie. Coming this summer: Nicole Kidman in Old Maid. From the makers of Uno. Once we run out of games we can do Oreos the Movie and Cheetos the Movie. I mean why tell stories and create beloved characters when you can just buy the name of a consumer product and put some explosions on top of it?
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Nov 03, 2005 4:57:58 AM CST
Here is project that would gain Anderscum respect...
by salvatoregravano
"Paul W. S. Anderson Presents a Paul W. S. Anderson Production of a Paul W. S. Anderson Picture: My Suicide - Written, Directed, Produced and Performed by Paul W. S. Anderson".
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Nov 03, 2005 5:00:04 AM CST
By the way, there is a live Pac-Man movie in production now.
by salvatoregravano
I'm saddened to say that I did not joke in the subject above.
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Somebody please stop this guy!! Why in gods name is this retard still making movies..Oh frell..
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Nov 03, 2005 5:20:31 AM CST
And somewhere, Uwe Boll cries. His dream of making "Castlevania
by horseflesh
Not that we're going to get anything better out of Pauly.
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how exactly will using a whip on vampires work on the big screen?
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And if it's R maybe PWSA should actually use some gore. Unlike the two RE flicks, which were R but still as bloodless as any PG-13 flick.
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Seriously, why in the hell do these studios give this guy money? The only way it will be better than something like AVP or Soldier is if they record a 3 year old playing the game while on fire. What could have been a decent movie will now turn out being hated by fans and might just light up the box office on opening weekend and fade out of our collective memory untill they announce he is helming Joust the movie.
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What next - The Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy? Manic Miner: The Movie? Seriously I can hear the press conference from Anderson for this now: "Errr yeah most fans don't like me but I'm making this for a new generation of kids blah blah blah". Fine do it for the money but stylistically I think its sad how stuff like this, AVP, resident evil are trashy souless, flashy edited techno shit fests. Is solid pacing and a little characterisation too much to ask? Feck Oliver Stone off and tag team Boll and Anderson to do the 9/11 movie. "Yeah we know people died but we're making this for a new generation of fans so feck we don't need it to be anything but a piece of ADD aimed crack fest. Now with 3minutes extra gore, a directors commentary from a load of angry Al-Queda members and outtakes from Bush"
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Nov 03, 2005 5:51:08 AM CST
So, a group of scientists are working on the secret of Vampirism
by machine_gun_joe
...when all contact from their research facility, located deep underneath Dracula's Castle, is lost. A group of kick-ass vampire hunters are sent in to investigate what what happens. Unfortunatly they are trapped underground and must navigate the catacombs of Castle Dracula, while fighting off legions of the undead. May or may not feature Milla Jovovich's bush.
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Well, this will be a freakin' disaster. A loose film adaptation of a game loosely based on Dracula? Yeah buddy. Greenlight that shit.
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Here's what he wont do: He wont play the game, wont stay true to the games mythology and ignore most of the game elements and will NOT respect what the fans of the game will want from a Castlevania film. Here's what he will do: Fuck it up royally by doing his own thing and probably base it in a lasertastic future. What a sucker! I cannot wait to read the headline "Paul Anderson retires!".
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Man, half the fun of the Castlevania games is how "japanesey" they are. It's such a trip seeing how other cultures interperate how 18th century europe was like.
If he sets this in modern times (Which I'm SURE he will) I'm gonna go apeshit. -
Machine Gun Joe's sadly spot on the money plot wise - though chuck in the obligatory 'semi-naked attractive angst ridden average joe teenagers caught up in it all, with one of the females undoubtedly captured by dracula in the third act and then recsued by whichever macho muppet they get to star. Theres your film RIGHT there. Thats when it starts filming in whichever cheapest back-end European country they can leech from. Still i have hopes for the Silent Hill adaptation - is that naieve?
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Does it matter if the director plays the game? Not to offend you Castlevania fans out there... it's a fine series of games, but that's all they should ever be. What exactly are they going to do with this movie? The game's just a hodgepodge of classic monsters thrown together in a castle... mummies, vampires, frankenstein, werewolves, medusa... all being systematically whipped to death by Dracula's grandchildren. SNORE. Where's the plot? What's this "game's mythology" you're referencing??? It's hackneyed. End of story.
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So I guess VAN HELSING is now considered a success because this is totally a sequel to it. VAN HELSING was just a shitty rip-off of CASTLEVANIA which in turn is just a shitty rip-off of VAMPIRE HUNTER D.
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and awesome rip-off of Hammer Horror films, Lovecraft stories and spaghetti westerns. Pot/Kettle. :p
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Nov 03, 2005 6:38:59 AM CST
I think this is going to be great and I can't wait to see it
by knighteternal
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Nov 03, 2005 6:39:46 AM CST
I think this is going to be great and I can't wait to see it
by knighteternal
Just to be different to everyone else. You can do it Pauly!!
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But still, this guy did ONE good movie once upon a time. I can still have a faint, flickering flame of hope that this movie might be his next Mortal Kombat. (It's very faint, and it's about to go out, but hope springs eternal.)
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Ok, this won't take long. Doom RESPSECTED the source material, it didn't RAPE it. Case closed. Oh, you want examples though, because you can't figure it out for yourself? RE the game had a big creepy mansion where probably 80% of the major creeps took place. RE the movie had a classed up mansion that we saw for like two seconds before they used the super secret passage to the lab where it all takes place (and isn't scary). Creatures NOT from hell aside, Doom had elements of Doom (base on Mars subbed for base on Phobos), Doom 2 (action goes back to Earth), Doom 3 (creatures/environment), and fucking deathmatch! What does all this have to do with anything? It was entertaining. Resident Evil had me waiting for the creepy old mansion with giant spiders crawling above the characters while zombie dogs burst through the windows. No, we get a hallway with fucking lasers cutting people up. Doom gave me exactly what I wanted: Marines blowing shit away with decidedly UN-futuristic weaponry in an all-hope-is-lost scenario. As for Castlevania? Well, they have the all-hope-is-lost scenario down, only... that's not an element from the game. Someone really needs to hand PWSA a copy of the Super Castlevania IV and Symphony of the Night scores. That really is the only thing that will make this worth sitting through. At least when you close your eyes to make it stop, you'll have a good gothic action score to pray to.
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Nov 03, 2005 7:03:12 AM CST
Someone who calls themselves AnalGirl is many things but definit
by godoffireinhell
a girl.
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A: I'm about to defend Resident Evil... twitch, twitch... B: I'm kinda sideing with someone whose talkback name evokes that Xiu xiu damn song that got stuck in my head for a week after someone tried to get me into them... twitch, shudder, twitch... Anyway, Fawst you may be right (I haven't seen Doom yet for religious reasons) but your argument seems a little flawed. RE the movie was largly based on RE2. Once you excepted that they were appealing to the more action oriented sequels that followed the franchise, it almost even made sense that their was little horror, and in that respect the train bit was quite nice. Doom the movie was (from every trailer/pic/reviews/ect. I've seen)is largely based on Doom 3... so... yeah. Maybe the ads really are being cut to make it look like a very different movie, but everything I've taken in tells me that respect might be a pretty damn strong word to be using for what the makers of Doom did... at least if you are going to use the argument you're using... which in light of your RE comments, suggests that you - much like me - like your game adaptations to be based on their originals... not sequels... Peace.
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Nov 03, 2005 7:45:02 AM CST
Was there any game-based movie worse than "Mortal Kombat"?
by jackpumpkinhead
Yes, there was - and "Resident Evil" was its name.
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Resident Evil was assy acidic ass! I feel dirty for defending it... dirty like a dirty whore... in dirt... that's dirty. Peace.
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As long as they keep those pics from Silent Hill up... I can pretend this didn't happen... I didn't read this... it's all just a dream... it's just a dream... ... ... ... ... AND THEN THE TALL MAN BURSTS IN! "NO IT'S NOT!" Peace.
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I read on Teletext yesterday that because of a loop hole in German tax law, if you finance a film in Germany and it fails to make money then you can claim the costs back. They might be wrong about this - any German corporate tax lawyers who read this web site may be able to correct this. It would explain how Uwe Boll gets financing for his crappy films. To make money all you need to do is find a script. Since it would be too expensive to buy the rights to a book (and any repecting author may not want you to get your hands on his work) or commision an original idea then the answer would be to get some hack to adapt an existing video game story. The video game company would be happy with the publicity no matter how crappy the film and it would be easy to pitch to investors. The pitch would be along the lines of 'dumb geeks play these games, dumb geeks will watch any crap - lets combine the two and we will have a hit'. Next, make the film in a few weeks, pay yourself a large salary to direct (don't bother with a cut of the profits - there won't be any). Release it. Gets loads of publicity from sites like this or shite teen TV programs that are think this is the sort of film teens watch. Wait for it to fail and claim the money back from the German government. Simple. Might try it myself.
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Well, I'm happy that Paul W.S. Anderson is making this movie. It's going to be a piece of shit, that's a given since it's a classic video game and people like money more than anything else. But at least with Paul WS Anderson it will be so exuisitely bad, so amazingly off the mark of what the games are about that I won't be able do anything but grin and stare at the train wreck happening in front of me on the screen. With some other director, it could have just been frustratingly bad and not worth my time but with Paul W S Anderson's different flavor of Uwe Boll's directing talents, I know I can sit down with some beer and some chicken lo mein and just laugh my ass off like I've done with all of his movies. Oh, and the new Castlevania game is a rental. Very much so a rental.
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Which is total garbage. BTW, Super Castlevania IV is one of the best games ever.
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Then what? Will they make movies out of office productivity suites?
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Why the hell hasn't this been made into a movie? I heard that if "Mario Bros." did well, it would've happened, but no....even though they should've done the cutesy Mushroom Kingdom. But I'm asking for Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Link...phwoar. But with "Bloodrayne" and "Silent Hill" coming out, it might be overkill in the Horror-themed video game movies. If they did go with the elegant horror way (Bram Stoker's Dracula, Van Helsing, Interview With the Vampire) then I will see it...if it turns out like that shitfest "Forsaken", SCREW IT.
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Nov 03, 2005 8:29:42 AM CST
mMaybe someone should make a movie version of TETRIS.
by johnny wishbone
I liked "Resident Evil" as a game, but the movie sucked nuts. I liked "Alien versus Predator" as a game, but again the movie sucked nuts. I see a pattern emerging here...
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Speak not those words! We live in an age of rabid Hollywood demon cocks... and some of us would like to keep that sweet, sweet sexy nymph of a franchise's chastity away from them. Let the fine wine keep againg my friend. The time will come... BUT PLEASE GOD, NOT NOW! Peace.
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AVOID THE NOID! Now that's one that would sell me a ticket. Peace.
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What is WRONG WITH HOLLYWOOD? UGH AGHGHAGHAGHA! Paul Andserson is scum! SCUM!
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Is that a joke?
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To answer you Vern they already made a board game movie...CLUE! hehe Also to answer Robotmonster1 if you have played castlevania 2 simons quest and castlevania symphony of the night, they both have amazing storylines, and characters. It doesn't have to be about the games in particular at all but can be a spin off about Alucard..the son of Dracula and one of the Belmonts. How cool would a movie about one of the descendents of the Belmont clan having to find Dracula's heart, Ribs, eyes, etc to enter Dracula's castle, summon him and rid the world of the curse that transylvania has put upon the land. That's just from one of the games on regular nintendo! Enter Alucard having an old beef with papa and we get the vampire anti hero who reluctantly helps the Belmonts destroy his father while gaining some sympathy for Dracula in the end. I'm just spouting off random ideas but that's gonna be a million times cooler than anything Paul w.s. Anderson writes!
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Nov 03, 2005 9:12:42 AM CST
Wait...someone is arguing that Hollywood should make LEGEND OF Z
by www.valiens.com
I'm gonna steal and molest a line from some talkbacker who talked back a while back about Uwe Boll: We should be happy Anderson is working on this because it will keep him occupied for a while so he can't turn other movie ideas into crap. A long while, actually, if he still has to write it.
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Nov 03, 2005 9:15:26 AM CST
Uwe Boll's purpose in life is to make Paul WS Anderson look
by prof. pop-cult
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Been reading this site since 1998. Never felt compelled to register for Talkback until I read this news. This spent so much time in development hell and they go ahead in give it to that cocksucker?
I mean even DOOM fans got a decent movie from the hack who did that one. But Anderson always tends to forget what people like about certain properties and he always fucks it up. I'm not even a filmmaker and I could make a better Castlevania movie than he'd ever dream off.
This hurts me because I'm one of those 20 something year olds whose still got a functional NES and a SNES. So I still play the first 4 Castlevania games on the regular as well as Symphony Of The Night. I bought a Nintendo DS just for the latest game this is my favorite franchise in the history of video games. Only rivaled by another Konami series, Metal Gear.
Now I have to deal with Simon Belmont whipping creatures while riding a skateboard to the sound of nu metal. All while he tries to reach the clock tower to fight Dracula who will probably be played by Paul Walker and save Milla Jovovich. Burn in hell Paul W.S. Anderson you buried the Predator franchise and now you're going to ruin something that is filled with so much potential. -
Nov 03, 2005 9:19:44 AM CST
Great! Whenever Hollywood makes a decision like letting Anderso
by agent blue
Now if they
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Why the hell do the studios keep giving him reigns to anything? If it's down to budget there are plenty of talented up and coming directors who could do better in their sleep.
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Van Helsing was about as elegant as being fisted by a dumptruck covered in scorpions.
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Nov 03, 2005 9:36:10 AM CST
Well its about time!!! Symphony of the Night, is the best Castle
by orionsangels
I hope they borrow a lot from that game.
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I haven't played all the games from the series, but Quint, if there were one game from the series I'd suggest you play, it would be Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, for the playstation. It's like the epitome of a good video game. -
I can't even WAIT to never see this film.
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Thanks, that post made my whole day.
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dude, easy on the foul language. and NOBODY believes you're a girl, so, for the love of god, please stop your feeble attempts, mkay?
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Nov 03, 2005 9:53:34 AM CST
The reason Anderson gets to make more movies is because....
by jonastheangel
Most of his movies make money. His movies aren't great, but they are watchable. And I'ld much rather have Anderson do a video game movie then Toliet Boll.
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...for what it was. Kind of a silly, campy, fun version of Deathtrap with a solid ensemble cast and amusing multiple endings. If they did more classic board game movies in that vein, I'd probably rent them, Vern. In fact, how much fun would Frogger and Pac Man and Q-Bert be if done as some kind of comedy anthology? As for Castlevania, the game was lame so I don't see how PWSA can screw up the premise. Let him have it.
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That's a tough act to follow.
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Did you just refer to castlevania as "the game" meaning there is only one? There are about 15 castlevania games out there, probably more in fact. Just by that statement you have no idea about the series in general. That's like saying megaman would make a crappy movie because the game sucked...umm there's like 30.
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Is since I have yet to see any of Uwe Bolls movies, I can live happily knowing the worst video games I've ever seen were Mortal Kombat 2, and Street Fighter The Movie, an ironic title considering the film had maybe 2 fight scenes in it, or what they called fight scenes anyway.
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Is it just my imagination or has this topic gone undiscussed in this thread? I seem to recall that John Woo was attached to this property at one point, but haven't heard a thing about it in months. Someone in a previous post made mention of Zelda and asked "Why? So they can f*** it up?" Good question there. But, let's not forget that there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Peter Jackson is currently attached to HALO. Who knows? Maybe the bar is about to be set for video game cinema.
Oh yeah, Street Fighter was indeed the worst video game movie ever. SMB is right behind that. -
...you must be thinkingof Captain N the GameMaster where a vain and somewhat cowardly Simon Belmont joined and obviously gay Kid Icarus, an irritating Mega Man, an actual talking first generation GameBoy called...GameBoy, a stupid protagonist, and a made up princess who looked like Britney trailer trash fighting against Mother Brain, King Hippo, and The Eggplant Wizard. Oh man, someone's aide is going to read that and make a movie out of it now......
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that Paul W.S. Anderson and Uwe Boll are both frantically racing each other to make the absolute worst movies ever made, based on videogames? hey honey - what should we see this week? oohh...Castlevania! no, wait! Postal! holy crap! there's a double feature of The Sims and Railroad Tycoon at the multiplex, both directed by Renny Harlin!
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I am hardly a member of the Paul W.S. Anderson fan club. However, he's not exactly 0 for 6, either. First off, as I was not expecting Mortal Kombat to be a cinematic masterpiece, I was pleasantly surprised when I left the theater somewhat entertained. I didn't hate it, and repeat viewings of it still keep me entertained. Resident Evil also didn't serve to completely piss me off, although I never got around to seeing the sequel. And, of course, Event Horizon still stands as his "masterpiece", if you will. But, for me, my favorite Paul Anderson film of all time has to be his first, a few cool non sci-fi, gritty crime drama called Shopping. My old college roommate and I rented that on a whim and loved it. I'd really like to see him get back to these kinds of movies instead of just making big budget music videos.
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I f*cking love CASTLEVANIA, f*ck you P.W.S.A., f*ck you all to hell !!!! Ah well, CASTLEVANIA (and VAN HELSING) were rip-offs of VAMPIRE HUNTER D anyway, and that has yet to be made into live-action. I'm hoping that would be a Japanese production.
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I'll take a Paul W.S. Anderson videogame adaptation over a Uwe Boll flick any day of the week. Including Blorgday.
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Nov 03, 2005 10:48:34 AM CST
"CASTLEVANIA (and VAN HELSING) were rip-offs of VAMPIRE HUNTER D
by docpazuzu
...which is a window-dressed rip-off of Solomon Kane.
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did i say that out loud?
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did i say that out loud?
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MAYBE, JUST MAYBE!
And oh yeah fuck all the haters. -
Role call in progress over at HQ (Aquaf@g Talkback).
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...I only played one version of the game - the original back in 1986 - and it did suck. So while this may be evidence of not having experienced the complete series, it certainly doesn't demonstrate that I have "no clue" as you boldly assert. Doesn't the first installment provide some clue as to the basic premise and mechanics of the series? I'm positive the later installments had better graphics, but what crappy games didn't after 1995? If there's something incredibly compelling storywise about any of the follow-ups that might make someone who only played the original give a shit about this movie, feel free to explain.
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(sigh) You could assemble an all star hit man team of filmmakers, and Castlevania isn't going to be a critical darling. It's a damn video game. A game we all know and love (well, the first one), but not a particularly moving story. When it comes out, if you leave the theater saying "Wow, that was good," and the next week you've forgotten all about it, it will have done its job. You think these video game designers were trying to make lasting imprints on American culture? Or maybe just trying to amuse us for a while?
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Nov 03, 2005 11:54:47 AM CST
A live action version of Mike Tyson's punch out would be hil
by big bad clone
Michael Chiklais as Bald Bull! James Woods as Glass Joe! Jet Li as Piston Honda!Tyson as Tyson! Harry as King Hippo!
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Nov 03, 2005 11:57:12 AM CST
Aside from the tragedy that is Paul W.S. Anderson horribly direc
by doc_strange
Why the FUCK is the game called Legend of Zelda? First of all the bitch just manages to get captured in pretty much all the games. Link must have saved her ass about a hundred times since the first game. I just don't see how being a damsel in distress would make you a legend in any way. I think these games should be called The Adventures of Link or something like the second game. Shit, Link should just let Gannon have his way with Zelda and go pimp some tavern wenches. By the way, the new game looks dope. And to stay on the subject, I hope to God Konami doesn't sell the rights to Symphony of the Night. That was the best Castlevania game I ever played and Alucard was a badass.
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Nov 03, 2005 11:59:13 AM CST
Was there any game-based movie worse than "Mortal Kombat"?
by godoffireinhell
Yes, and it was called HOUSE OF THE DEAD. Dude, I don't like RESIDENT EVIL either but it's the greatest cinematic achievment of the last 30 years when compared to HOTD. Other game flicks worse that MORTAL KOMBAT: SUPER MARIO BROS, Van Damme's STREETFIGHTER, DOUBLE DRAGON ... Sit through your shitty films first before you came to a talkback and try to be a smartass. You've got to earn the right to be hater.
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Nov 03, 2005 11:59:58 AM CST
Would Tyson blink repeatedly when he's about to throw a flur
by doc_strange
Super Macho Man was probably the hardest character to beat in that game.
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Nov 03, 2005 12:10:46 PM CST
Paul Anderson is a better filmmaker than most working today.
by some dude
Great news!
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The music... The size of the castle and the architectural mish-mash of styles it contains... Dracula is in posession of anachronistic technology... Skeletons that throw their own bones at you... Dracula is just one form of a much more Lovecraftian being... Skeletons on motorcycles... The clocktower... Magical nitro and a lot of cool weapons... Dracula is Death's boss, thus explaining his immortality... Really neat versions of all the classic movie monsters, plus plenty from world mythology... And so much more!
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The music... The size of the castle and the architectural mish-mash of styles it contains... Dracula is in posession of anachronistic technology... Skeletons that throw their own bones at you... Dracula is just one form of a much more Lovecraftian being... Skeletons on motorcycles... The clocktower... Magical nitro and a lot of cool weapons... Dracula is Death's boss, thus explaining his immortality... Really neat versions of all the classic movie monsters, plus plenty from world mythology... And so much more!
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I'm no fan of the earlier games in the series, but Symphony of the Night is seriously my favorite platform game ever. I can't see a Castlevania movie turning into anything but Van Helsing, though, unfortunately.
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Princess Lana was hot.
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Nov 03, 2005 12:49:54 PM CST
Proof that Hollywood doesn't give a shit about our opinions
by godoffireinhell
Why do we even post on forums and in talkbacks anymore? We should know by now that it is useless and that our rants are just useless. Yeah, maybe Hollywood folks do read these things but they sure don't give a shit. If our opinions mattered then the likes of Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson (who is a hundred times more talented than Boll) would not keep getting these jobs. Face it, what counts - literally - is that Anderson has made some very profitable films. RESIDENT EVIL and AvsP were both box office hits. MORTAL KOMBAT was a genuine blockbuster. This is what matters, not what we nerds whine about. Deal with it.
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Have Zach Braff play whomever the guy was who fought everyone.
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...RorschachSaviour. Symphony of hte Night, you say? Methinks I may check this out if it's available for the cube. Thanks.
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Starring Omar Epps as Mike Tyson and George Takie as Piston Honda.
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Nov 03, 2005 2:33:19 PM CST
"Paul WS Anderson has let go of the Resident Evil franchise?"
by godoffireinhell
No he hasn't. He's working on parts 3 and 4 right now. They will take place "after the events of the games" which means they will have nothing to do with any of them and will be shit like RE1 (and not entertaining crap like RE2). Could be he's just writing and producing them. I don't think he'll direct another RE movie himself after bowing out of #2.
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Nov 03, 2005 2:51:04 PM CST
Do you guys think that maybe some of these "Hollywood" directors
by frodosblueballs
ANALGIRL=PAUL W.S. ANDERSON
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How cool are jumpin ostriches? Or dragons (or whatever the fuck they were) that blow bubbles, for that matter?
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I came up with an idea for a live-action Pac-man movie a couple of years ago, as a joke. Sort of a Lovecraft/Buckaroo Banzai thing. Scientists experimenting with mind-expanding drugs, accientally open a hole to another dimension teeming with monsters. Since the monsters are from another dimension, they're not fully corporeal, and sort of like ghosts. Ghost-monsters, get it? They aren't intelligent enough to create technology, but whenever a species discovers a way into a dimension the monsters occupy, they see their chance and invade. The last survivor of the monsters' last invasion gives our human hero, a scientist at the research lab, "Dr. Irving Packman", a chemical formula which can transform him into a creature that will consume the monsters, but he needs to assemble the components... The neat thing is, the story is played completely straight and serious, and hopefully creepy and scary. It's not until the end, when the doctor is being chased through the maze-like science building by the monsters, with the main power off, the emergency lights blinking, the sirens going "woo-woo-woo", and the doctor is looking for the right pills to eat so that he can turn around and eat the monsters... it's not until that point that the audience goes, "Hey, wait a minute! This is Pac-Man!" And the audience laughs and/or gets angry and demands their money back.
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Nov 03, 2005 3:18:48 PM CST
"I mean why tell stories and create beloved characters when you
by thegas
What an ass. In this day and age, thinking that all videogames (let alone Castlevania) are nothing more than "consumer products" at the same level as oreos and that the medium by definition can't produce "beloved characters" and worthwhile stories makes as much sense as thinking the same of movies.
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if I said I didn't hate Andersons guts, but his shitty filmmaking wouldn't bother me near as much if it wasn't for the fact that he strays so far from the source material when a) there is no good reason because the source material is fantastic b) the only reason people watch the movies is because they are expecting to see the source material. I have no doubt this movie will have almost nothing to do with the Castlevania series, it will be 10 minutes of Simon Belmont hunting Dracula, then he'll discover an underground military installation or that Dracula is a robot or an alien and the rest of the movie will be a futuristic sci-fi spectacular depicting a string of about 6 people dying one after the other in imaginative ways.
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Damn it, it's going to take forever (well, probably after Microsoft makes Halo) for Hollywood to realize that you can make GOOD, awesome movies based on games. game developers and publishers reall need to get on the ball here as well, and actually take part in making the films. In this case, all I can say is that well, at least Boll didnt get it, but that's not saying much, cause Anderson is just one notch ahead of Boll. Oh well, Castlevania could be such a great film too, just like the Resident Evil series would have been some awesome stuff, if they actually went by the games. I hate these assholes.
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As far as the game movies go, Anderson really didn't stray too far from the source material. Mortal Kombat was fairly right on, considering it consisted of a superpowered Enter the Dragon ripoff. The first Resident Evil was supposedly a prequel to the game, and really didn't change much from the plot, which was a super virus that creates monsters and zombies and all hell breaks loose. So if anything, his movies have been far closer to the source material than any other video game movie, unless you want to count HoD using shots from the original video game. Though I agree with you, staying closer to to the source material would have been alot better. R.E. was good the first time I watched it, but I saw it on bootleg that was a little fuzzy and made the sfx look better oddly enough, if I want a good zombie movie I'll Day of the Dead or Land of the Dead.
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godawful euro trash techno and dull blue lighting. I cant wait to watch a buch of boring actors plod around a dank set!
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Nov 03, 2005 3:57:49 PM CST
I didnt think things could be worse than having Anderson saddled
by george newman
so disgustingly funny
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I loved Mortal Kombat, and it's still the best game to film adaptation. Don't compare Boll to Anderson. Anyway, Anderson's British, so am I... so I gotta support him! Boll's German. Enough said. Oh, and I enjoyed AVP, Res Evil and Event Horizon... jesus, Shopping was fantastic. Get a grip, people!
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...if anything it was a comic to film adaption, is that OK with you console freaks?!
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WHY?! How?! NOOOOO!!!
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Nov 03, 2005 4:43:20 PM CST
From the people who call Sin City "Mediocre": Paul WS Anderson i
by flipao
Like it or not, he knows how to direct an action scene, and his films not only are comercially succesful, but also turn into viable franchises. | He made a watchable film out of Mortal Kombat (just look at the second one to see how bad it could have been), both AvP and Resident Evil (while being mediocre films) had great moments here and there. Of course, you're all whining because they aren't as good as Dawn of the Dead, Alien or the original Predator(!), wtf d'you expect you losers?, I for one will keep my expectations low, and be pleasantly surprised... you all whine and whine, then go watch the films anyway. :)
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Um, yeah... pretty much any VideoGame adaptation Paul WS Anderson was not involved in (except maybe the first Tomb Raider, which was slick as hell and had Daniel Craig on it). Suckers.
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teh suck
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Nov 03, 2005 5:12:15 PM CST
My problem with Anderson is that he squanders the great opportun
by george newman
Killing off two predators in the first fight? Confining Resident Evil to a facility, only to tease us with what Could have been, at the end of the film???!!! He is give great opportunities, incredible special effects, BUT HE CAN NOT WRITE A SATISFYING OR COMPLETE STORY. Why does he have to write every film he does??! He BLOWS IT!! Every film of his is Ruined!! And once again, he is writing the script to his new film, CASTLEVANIA, and he will disappoint me and everyone else with a lackluster story, leaving me wishing about "what could/should have been."
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Nov 03, 2005 5:15:06 PM CST
To that boardgame movie suggestion: a CANDYLAND movie would rock
by george newman
make it spooky
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gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble
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Why does everybody hate Paul WS Anderson?
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It's the same as the trend that's happening with the business world in America. Sure, every business is about making money and always has been. But now, every single thing that doesn't contribute to the bottom line is re-engineered or eliminated. Movies that are rated PG-13 statistically make more money that ones rated R. Studios gravitate to that. Do you think Predator would be an R movie nowadays? The fact that Doom was an R was fucking shocking. Some studio exec was on a lot of blow when he greenlit that decision. Movies are economical properties now and will be designed to appeal to the widest audience and will be created by clowns like Anderson who gives fuck all about anything creative. So get used to it.
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...I personally think that Event Horizon is his best movie. And seriously - it ain't much of a best movie, is it?
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Playing the first castlevania on regular nintendo does not summarise a series as a whole. The first one is good but it isn't anywhere near as good as "simons quest" the second in the series. A series can get better as time goes on when better technology and learning from your mistakes is implemented. Damning a series and claiming it sucks for playing one game, especially the first one, when there are about 15 castlevanias out there for almost every platform is just nieve in my opinion.
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Why dont we make a petition to prevent Paul from Directing the Movie?
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Nov 03, 2005 6:22:10 PM CST
Every other director in hollywood thinks they are too high and m
by neo zeed
I don't like Paul doing this movie one bit, but who else will? Every other director in Hollywood don't give a damn about video games so that leaves us with Uwe Boll, that fuck who directed Doom, and Uwe "stinky britches" Boll, and Paul W.S. What a shame. But wait a minute! What about Christophe Gans? That shit would rule!!
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Forgive my ignorance for not getting the joke, but I don't spend my life on this website.
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Half-Life, Shadow of the Colossus, and Pacman. Please, not fucking Pacman!
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remaking anime. Thankfully, he's illiterate and can't read, so manga is safe.
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Aquafag is a reference to Ian Thorpe.
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THAT'S why it was better. RE just made me roll my eyes. You missed my point completely, Doom = respect for source material, RE = "oh, I'm a huge fan of the game, so I'll fuck the movie up beyond belief." And stupid, I didn't even know your handle was AnalGirl until I saw everyone else make jokes about it. If I WERE Rocco, my cock wouldn't be anywhere near your 350 pound manhole. Pervert! Just kidding, you're probably only 325.
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For clearing up aquafag for me. I can't believe I just wrote that, it sounds so...gay.
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Nov 03, 2005 9:16:04 PM CST
re:"Every other director in Hollywood don't give a damn abou
by citizen arcane
Well they should.The game industry is about as big if not bigger than the film industry and in many cases they involve better stories.
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...Hell, with the way Hollywood is today, it makes MORE sense to feel that way about movies than it does about video games.
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...somch that you immediately rewrote it in your head. I said Castlevania the game sucked. Not Castlevania 2or 12 or whatever. This movie, coincidentally, is called Castlevania, not Simon's quest or even Symphony of the Night (which I might check out based on the recommendation of another talkbacker). If and when Anderson makes Castlevania 2, I'll refrain from commenting on the quality of the game (note the singular noun there) because I haven't played it (certainally not becauseI'm "nieve," whatever that means). If someone said they didn't care to see The Fellowship of the Ring because they didn't enjoy the book, would you attempt to invalidate their opinion by talking about how great The Silmarillion was (that's a Tolkein book that hasn't been made into a movie)?
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The below is a portion of what I've posted on my website on why this movie will fail. To read the full post, go to my website, www.anocproductions.com
-carl
This is the director who has ruined two franchises already, Resident Evil, and Aliens.
He is about to drive into the ground, our next beloved franchise, CASTLEVANIA.
Below is how he will ruin Castlevania
CHARACTERS
Anderson has a tendency to turn his own characters into leads. You think ANYONE cares about Alice from Resident evil? His films are practically characterized by his insipid shallow, throw away characters. The Castlevania franchise is known for its characters, and nothing, I mean nothing in Paul W. Anderson's film repertoire indicates he can handle this project. We already know from the press release, he's already fucked this film up. The most popular character is arguably Alucard from SOTN. You would think he'd be a central charter in the film, but nope, Anderson missed that boat.
STYLE
Anderson's technique of trying to make everything extremely flashy and trying to make a film, for lack of a better word look "cool". His tendency to use bullet time, and rapid cutting is exactly what this film does not need. Castlevania deserves a classic approach, not a throw away popcorn type experience. Anderson is also inclined to stray from the source material, when there is no good reason since the source material is fantastic. The only reason people watch these game adaptations are because they expect to see the source material.
MISSED NUANCES
The producers need to have people from KOCE oversee this project. They need Koji -
Let's just put this on the table and get it out there. Not only do Paul WS Anderson and Uwe Boll have no business directing video game movies... NO AMERICAN OR EUROPEAN DIRECTORS have any business directing them. No disrespect to them, but it's true. The "classic" games- I'm talking Mario, I'm talking Zelda, I'm talking Mega Man, Metroid, Sonic, Castlevania, what have you- that WHOLE era of gaming was pretty much 100% JAPANESE, and they got their (for us at the time) unique and original visual and storytelling styles largely FROM Japanese culture. Just look at how vastly superior the "Street Fighter" anime was to the Van Damme version. IMAGINE how perfect game-based films from Riyuhei Kitamura or Shuseke Kaneko would be. And hell, China/HK would do a better job of it than we can in most cases, too. Look at "Stormriders" or "Legend of Zu" or freaking "HERO" and tell me THESE aren't the guys it'd be better to have on Zelda, Castlevania, etc. And whats more, these folks tend to do amazing tricks with their filmmaking... like coming in UNDER BUDGET and they demand less directorial fees than even a 5th stringer like Boll likely commands.
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Just wait. Y'know which game movie coming has the LEAST likelihood of sucking? "Dead or Alive." Y'know WHY? Firstly, Corey Yuen is directing. Secondly, it's not POSSIBLE to make a completely unworthy film with Devon Aoki in catfights.
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Plain and simple.
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Nov 04, 2005 1:17:00 AM CST
Why Not Make an interesting Vamp movie...like Blood Omen or Soul
by retroactive
That's all I have to say. G'Night.
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And keep PWSA & Uwe's grimy hands off of the project! Okay, that's all.
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you might be right but you know what about 90% of the characters in the games you mention are not japanese...and translation is a bitch...the best way to go about it is anime or cgi for these videogame/comicbook movies...wolverine could wear his yellow spandex and get away with it...and translation is easy because anime is always finding interesting ways to hide mouths and use limited animation...but no they still find incredible ways to screw it up......end of line.
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So you are saying because it is called castlevania that they will make the movie about the very first game in the series...DOOM was basically DOOM 3 but crappy. Wish I could say that was true for a lot of video game to movies but sadly it isn't. A Castlevania movie should involve roots of the entire mythology and not just the first game and he won't make it about the first game anyway so who cares. My point is that the games are all very different in their own respects and you haven't experienced any of them so stop writing it off as crap. You are saying the movie will suck because it will be based upon the first game in the series called castlevania of the same name. You and I both know there is no way in hell it will be a faithful adaptation so how can you even say that?
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Nov 04, 2005 2:24:12 AM CST
Oh for fuck's sake! NO!!!!! Not my Castlevania.....Please g
by giftoflight
It's official... Hollywood studio execs have run a train on my childhood.
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You know you are all going to go see this movie. How do I know that? Because, for some reasion, you have all obviously seen every one of Paul WS Anderson movies. "Resident Evil 2 sucked more than Resident Evil 1, but they were both worse than Mortal Kombat, which only kind of sucked?" Gee, if these movies all suck, why do you keep watching them? I saw the first Mortal Kombat movie because I was about 15 when it came out, but even then, I learned my lesson. I haven't watched any of the rest of that shit. Actually, the way you all are talking about these other movies, maybe they are worth watching. I haven't seen a movie in a long time where I felt comfortable booing and throwing popcorn at the screen. Castlevania might just be that movie. Maybe they will have that boss that is just a million dead bodies in a big heap.
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Nov 04, 2005 5:25:28 AM CST
Ok, now I'm officially one of you. League of Talkback Asshol
by azlam orlandu
Fuck you fucking PTA. Your suck-ass has so hit a nerve with me on this one. Over you, over your crappy movies, over ignoring that you exist to make myself feel better about movies in general. Leave Castlevania alone. Dude...you're going to ruin it for a couple extra bucks man. You will eternally suck if you don't leave it alone. Now is your chance to avoid future unfortnate events. Don't do this. -Az
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...ftw!
-Az -
Dude, needs to have these things.
1-Dracula - Not strap-on, bitch ass dracula, nor the awesome Oldman Dracula, but a dracula who's subtle but really proud and possibly more powerful than any dracula ever. 2 - Simon Belmont OR Alucard. But, if it has Alucard there must be a secondary Belmont character such as Simon, Richter etc. 3 - Ayami Kojima must do the concept art. 4 - Guitar-Driven symphonic rock with orchestral backing for the soundtrack. 5 - Don't try to josh-up the storyline, motherfucking Good vs. Evil that's all you need.
Come on Vania fans. 6 - Lots of crazy action involving whips, morning stars, magic, shapeshifting, etc. 7- Lots of great guitar riffs while standing on the peak of a building in front of the full moon, just looking cool. Tell me this isn't what you like about Castlevania. This movie be that Bilbo T.Baddins of all films, but I'd rather not see anything than what suckface Von Wolfpants is going to do with it. Go shave a sheep, pull a hair, waddle through the puddles of your shallow grave. Do anything but make this movie with this director. Please. -Az -
There are so many talented directors out there who STRUGGLE to get financing for their films. Peter Berg, Joe Carnahan and Paul Greengrass. No one give these guys jobs, but they give it to a jerk like PWSA. WHY???? Does hollywood prefer to make crap films. "Oh, I have a budget to make a film"... "shall I make a crap one, or a good one... Mmm, I'll make crap one!". I tell u why - because PWSA is cheap and does what an exec says. Perfect hollywood relationship.
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Anderson, yu son of a bitch, I hope you're reading this. First you go and pervert a good series like Resident Evil with your taint and now Castelvania!? For fucks sake die already!
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It was a small pile of excrement. I'm quite sure all subsequent game movies have been the same. And so are all of you! Sure, that is. Not excrement. Wow I'm tired.
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...I am going to point out that you once again accused me of not having played any Castlevania games (your reason for wanting me not to speculate about the movie), when we've already established that I played the first one in '86. You're wrong on that point, plain and simple. And you are just as guilty of speculation as I concerning the possible source material for this film. In fact, I would argue moreso. You assume that simply because no video-game-to-movie adaptation thus far has been faithful to the game it's named for, this one won't either (might well turn out being true, but you have no way of knowing yet). I'm assuming that because this movie is named after the first game, it will likely follow its story at least loosely (not entirely unlike Anderson's Resident Evil movies, which I haven't hated as much as a lot of people have). None of this changes the fact that I thought the underlying plot of the first game, regardless of whether they animate the movie in 16-bit graphics or use A-list actors and a 50 million dollar effects budget, was pretty weak and contrived. I suspect that a movie adaptation of that plot or of a story that relies on that premise (and not having played any of the sequels, I don't know how much they rely upon players knowing the backstory), will suck. How is this kind of speculation not my right? You're arguing that your speculative opinion is more valid than someone else's, and that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense unless you have some inside knowledge of PWSA's plans for this movie.
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Van Helsing. The Blade flicks. Underworld. Is Castlevania really needed?
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...i can sit around and compare it to big baby uwe's bloodrayne when they're released onto dvd. as for video games that would make great movies, how about 'radiata stories'? it's about a sixteen-year-old kid who's more or less mentally handicapped and searches around towns looking for small hidden objects and friends. he finds objects and friends by kicking them. also, during battle, you get to kill lots of animals like pigs, frogs, snakes, lizards, monkeys, almost any animal you can think of. usually with swords, axes, or sticks. so peta would like it. it could be like a kid's version of 'cannibal holocaust'. also, there's some interesting subplots about humans being unsympathetic to dwarves' rights, the nature of good and evil as it applies to theft, and of course, falling in love with someone who has someone else's soul animating their corpse. ah, i joke, radiata stories is actually a really fun game, i just, i dunno, i guess i'll wait and see how halo turns out. this castlevania thing is going to be like van helsing with the technotardometer ratcheted up the highest calibrations.
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Castlevania is about a guy that fights waves of monsters until finally reaching Dracula and killing him. The movie is going to throw in a love interest, a town, all the usual crap. It's gonna look like Van Helsing. And it's gonna suck. It's a video game, who cares anyway. Let Uwe Boll make a Halo game, who cares? These games do not have complex plots. I'm not sure why everyone complains when a movie adaptation of a game doesn't match the game. You shouldn't realistically make a movie of a video game and try to capture the feel of the video game. When that is the goal, it looks a lot like House of the Dead and (I'm told) the last few minutes of Doom. Basically, like you are watching someone play a video game which we all know is one of the most boring things to do. Turn Anderson loose on Castlevania. It honestly cannot be worse then Van Helsing.
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Nov 04, 2005 5:42:30 PM CST
I can't imagine what will happen when they get their hands o
by blockheadsrule
Hello, Soul Reaver! Hello, Metal Gear Solid! Guess I wanted to say goodbye before they flush you down the drain too. Oh, and say hi to Uwe and Paul while your down there, wontcha? I hear they share a condo in the sewers where they get to wallow in shit and cockroaches all day long.
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He is the worst writer i've ever... EVER... seen yet he keeps getting work because his bullshit backdoor "stand for everything wrong in american cinema today" appeals to geeks and jerk offs who like to watch bullshit stories with no meaning or depth and seriously bad monsters. Fuck that guy.
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Have Tarantino reshoot the whole Zed basement scene from Pulp Fiction, except this time stick Paul WS Anderson and Uwe Boll in the "On your knees Texas Pete" pose, ball gag 'em, then turn loose the Gimp on their asses..literally. Give him that bladed dildo from SEVEN, and you'll have a fucking Oscar..or at least a nation of giddy Fanboys.
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The last true game of the series was "Bloodlines" for the Sega Genesis. Straight to the point linear monster-killing action, now that's true Castlevania ("Simon's Quest" was an accident of birth). ~~~~~~~~~~ Since SOTN, the series became something entirely different. Huge, non-linear castles, RPG elements... that's no Castlevania, it's fuckin' Metroid with vampires! ~~~~~~~~~~ What IS a bad thing, however, is the new character design. It is extremely affeminate, bishonen style. And the Belmonts have pretty much vanished. Not saying they're bad games - but they're entirely different games that happen to have the same name. ~~~~~~~~~~ Now, stop bashing Anderson, his "Mortal Kombat" was top quality popcorn-and-soda fun. I'm hoping he will base this movie on the old games.
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paul souled his soul to the devil...and we still recognize his films as shite...but micheal bay still gets away with his crap.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am just sick of him screwing with great movie ideas. I can't believe this.
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I'd probably fall over dead with joy if anyone ever stayed true to the source material. Instead, they constantly push these plots that have an inkling of where they came from on us. I'm realistic enough to know that they just about have to be changed in some way, but they could at least keep the characters we love. Why doesn't PWSA just put the tag, "Based very fricken loosely on Castelvania" on his movie. At least then people who know nothing about the game wouldn't think they know after watching the schlock that I know is to come. Its sad too. I think it could have been a really great movie.
I don't like Paul WS Anderson's movies but I have seen them all. But I'm proud to say that I didn't pay to see a single one. (Ha!)I watched them with hope. Even though I knew that Res 1 and 2, and AVP would suck somewhere deep within me was a hope that they would not. I think that that is why he continues to prosper. He prospers off of the fallen hopes of movie lovers who have grown up with the material that he has chosen. Why do I feel so strongly about this? Because I am a movie lover. And I am just so frustrated by the crap that Hollywood turns out. There have been so many great ideas that have been twisted by greed. *sigh*
Oh well I'll get over it..lol.
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