Cool News
Uh oh!! 1st Review of Moriarty &Obi-Swan's MASTERS OF HORROR Is IN!!!! Are They Really Masters of Horrible??
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
I don’t think the “Cigarette Burns” episode of “Masters of Horror” is set to be colorcast on Showtime for another month or two, but longtime Coaxial News spy “Gaspode” (whom I’d always suspected had it in for Moriarty) got a look at it before even the Mighty Herc!!
Oh, god, I can’t look:
Masters of Horror: ‘Cigarette Burns’
Written by Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan
Directed by John Carpenter
While Showtime was debuting their Masters of Horrors series with ‘Incident on and off a Mountain Road,’ a small group of diehard fans at New Jersey’s Chiller Theatre convention. The folks at Anchor Bay screened a copy of John Carpenter’s ‘Cigarette Burns,’ apparently the first time the finished episode had been seen anywhere. Whether or not this is true I have no idea, but my curiosity had already been piqued by the fact that I don’t get Showtime and would probably have to wait months to see it on DVD; and AICN’s own Moriarty had already reported on the making of ‘Cigarette Burns’ a couple of months ago, so I was interested to see what he had been fussing about.
Before I go any further, I have to make a couple of admissions here. Number one, even though I know this is Mori’s baby, I really wasn’t hadn’t seen any of the work he’d done with Scott Swan in the past. So I honestly couldn’t care less if the episode was any good or not. In fact, if ‘Cigarette Burns’ sucked big-time, I would have happily cut it to pieces and dared AICN to print the review. After all, the name of this series was MASTERS of Horror and if Mori/Drew couldn’t run with the big dogs, he really should have known better than to try.
Secondly, although I’m a long-time John Carpenter fan, I haven’t been all that impressed by his work in recent years, such as Ghosts of Mars, Vampires or Escape from LA. Was his latest effort going to be just as underwhelming?
I needn’t have worried. ‘Cigarette Burns’ is a stunning piece of television, Carpenter’s best work in years. The direction is slick and atmospheric, the music is moody but never intrusive, and the script is well-paced, always moving towards a chilling conclusion. There are lots of genre references scattered throughout the episode, but never in a beat-you-over-the-head, aren’t-we-cleverer-than-all-of you self-referential way. The structure is so nicely laid out that ‘Cigarette Burns’ could easily have worked as a full length feature, albeit with a few extra character beats and maybe an extended first act.
For those who aren’t familiar with the episode yet, Kirby Sweetman (Norman Reedus) is the kind of guy who can track down even the most difficult-to-find films for collectors. He runs an aging revival house theater, but he’s in hock up to his eyeballs, and his father-in law, a nasty son-of bitch is waiting for the $200,000 he’s still owed and would happily tear the place down given the chance. You see, Kirby’s wife Annie committed suicide in the bathtub under circumstances that we’re not told, but there’s obviously bad blood between the two men.
Enter Ballinger (Udo Kier) an obsessive film collector, who hires Kirby to track down the holy grail of avant garde cinema, La Fin Absolue Du Monde (translation: The Absolute End of the World). Only shown once at a festival 30 years earlier, the film sparked an orgy of death and destruction in the theater where it aired. The projectionist, now a film archivist acquaintance of Kirby, barely survived, but his left hand is now a fused lump of flesh. Virtually everybody who worked on the film is now dead, as is just about everybody who’s tried to track down the single existing print.
Are all of these stories merely some kind of cinematic urban legend? Not according to Ballinger, whose mansion houses the biggest collection of La Fin Absolue Du Monde memorabilia in the world, including an emaciated angel that he keeps chained in the study (the pitiful creature’s wings have been chopped off and are proudly displayed on the wall behind Ballinger’s desk). And when the collector offers Kirby- wait for it- two hundred grand to find the print and bring it back, the offer is too good to turn down.
But as Kirby begins to discover, there’s a reason that La Fin Absolue Du Monde has remained in hiding all these years. Nasty things have happened to all who come in contact with the film. The only critic at that original screening has spent the past three decades trying to write the perfect review. A French filmmaker influenced by the film hogties Kirby and decapitates an unfortunate female cab driver in front of his eyes, all in the name of art. The director’s widow, who watched her husband go insane, unsuccessfully cutting her throat and his own successfully, is glad to hand the print over to Kirby, who’s been experiencing some nasty hallucinations of his own. And when Kirby finally hands the film over to an anxious Ballinger, La Fin Absolue Du Monde is finally screened again, with quite literally gut-wrenching results.
As an episode, ‘Cigarette Burns’ references everything from classic noir, to Argento, to the new wave of Japanese horror. Reedus does a great job of playing the hapless Kirby, who appears to start out with the best of intentions, but finds himself getting caught up in Ballinger’s obsession. Udo Kier is as creepy as I’ve ever seen him, with those watery eyes that remind you of a latter-day Peter Lorre as much as anyone else. And I’m afraid I didn’t catch the name of the actor who plays the fallen angel (listed in the credits as a ‘willowy being’) but every moment he’s on screen is mesmerizing, particularly his final line to Kirby at the end.
Finally, I have to mention the work on KNB, who contributed the makeup FX for the episode. The series is called Masters of Horror, and KNB’s work is certainly that. I don’t want to give too much away, but gore-hounds won’t be disappointed by the graphic decapitations, gouging, gashing and assorted nastiness, all accompanied by appropriately squelchy sound effects. My personal favorite is a scene in which Kirby confronts Ballinger after the collector has just screened the film for himself. Half-hidden behind a projection booth, it’s obvious by the horrible sounds that something fairly disgusting has happened to the collector but we still can’t see what it is. The scene goes on and on, with Carpenter ratcheting up the suspense, and when he finally pays it off, it’s a gruesome shot to the guts.
In the end, ‘Cigarette Burns’ is an amazing achievement. If the episode had aired first in the Masters of Horror line-up, I suspect it would have set the bar awfully high for installments to follow. As it is, Carpenter fans have something to look forward to in a few month’s time, because the director has more than lived up to the show’s title.
Oh, and on Saturday, Anchor Bay is hosting a panel at Chiller with Masters of Horror directors John Landis, Stuart Gordon and Lucky McKee, screening Gordon’s episode ‘Dreams in the Witch House.’ Should be interesting to see what he comes up with.
Submitted with plant-like enthusiasm by
Gaspode
Just for the record, “Gaspode’s” plant-cred is not the plantiest. Stick his name in the AICN Search box below Coaxial and discover that he was one of our regular “Farscape” reviewers back in the day.
Season sets selling new for just $19.97 per season!!
ER 1.x
ER 2.x
Friends 1.x
Friends 2.x
Lois & Clark 1.x
Nip/Tuck 1.x
The West Wing 1.x
The West Wing 2.x
Wonder Woman 1.x
Wonder Woman 2.x
-
+ Expand All
-
Oct 29, 2005 1:03:47 PM CDT
eww a Farscape fan liked it? I feel so dirty after reading it.
by silver shamrock
doesn't exactly increase confidence. Some people will like almost anything. I hope it's good though.
-
I was worried the series might be a dud suffering from too much hype and burnt out talent... this is getting my hopes up that I was dead wrong.
-
Last weekend, at the International Horror & SciFi Film Festival in Tempe, they screened Tobe Hooper's Masters of Horror episode. I didn't catch it, but maybe someone else did and could comment. They also screened Feast. I sent info to the AICN staff to let people know about it but it was ignored.
Hopefully this bodes well for the Masters of Horror series and that they will get the full go-ahead for the Masters of SciFi series that is also in the works. They've already got Harlan Ellison lined up to adapt "Repent Harlequin, Said the TickTock Man", plus Michael Tolkin will adapt Robert Heinlein's "Jerry Was a Man." John Milius will adapt Stanlislaw Lem's "The Hunt." and Ray Bradbury will adapt "Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed." If Harlan in involved, a certain Joe might not be far behind, especially since he indicated he would be working on a "companion series" in Vancouver next spring if it gets the go-ahead.
Lee Whiteside
SFTV.org
-
It's like that time my estranged uncle won the lottery. Obviously I wasn't financially affected, but I still felt happy for the guy.
-
No? SHIT. OVERRATED, COCKSUCKING SHIT. FUCK MORIARTY. FUCK HERCULES. FUCK THIS SITE. YOU DON'T KNOW HORROR. YOU DON'T KNOW ART. ART-HAS-BOOBIES!!! You're all going to Hell.
-
Ah yes Top-hat, nothing like the rantings of the criminally insane.
-
Oct 29, 2005 1:47:22 PM CDT
Hey guys, if you like the sound of this check out the ovel '
by silver_joo
-
Saw last night's episode and it was great. Can't wait for Cigarette Burns! Way to go Moriarty and Swan!
-
Heh heh - somebody had to do it.
-
I like the premise. Looking forward to downloading the episode while laughing maniacally.
-
Well, it has to be better than the "adaptation" of Dreams in the Witch House done for the same series that was shown at the H.P. Lovecraft film festival last month. I swear, I don't recall H.P.'s work having so much in the way of blood and boobs. Ah well, I guess it's easy to tap dance across the line between cosmic horror and cosmically horrible.
-
yet another lame-ass one off. Nothing to see here, move on.
-
Fuck McWeeny and Swan! Those guys eat the poop! I'll bet they paid Herc to write this review himself! That's it, man... I'm outta here! I'm never reading this website again!
-
It was you trolling the talbacks all along.
-
This sounds similar to the awesome book 'Flicker' by Theodore Roszak. Did you get any inspiration from that book? Max Castle lives.
-
Oct 29, 2005 3:20:34 PM CDT
Gotta download this, don't get showtime, but want to show th
by tall_boy
Therefore, downloading is the only way to go. Don't kill me for it. Anyway, the PLANT review seemed to like it, so hey, why not. PLANT!
-
Flicker is REALLY GOOD. Isn't...Darren Aronofsky turning it into a movie? I can't imagine they could possibly get permission to get all that old footage (like the Shirley Temple stuff, for instance) and pervert it so much. Nor could I see them doing the ending properly. Dammit.
-
I've dug every episode i've seen of this, and it does make a good companion piece to Carpenter's "In teh Mouth of Madness"...but there was that same unavoidable thought i had while watching the Incredibles, "Good stuff, but i hope everyone involved does a stint in purgatory for blatant theft from lesser known masterworks."
-
...did Mori just yell at himself? That's more than a little 'schitzo'.
-
All I can say regarding the book is that I've never read it. I'd like to. It certainly sounds like something I'd love. But it's not in print in the US currently, and it's not easy to get hold of. I'm actually glad I haven't read it, and I think once you see the episode, you'll see that, superficial comparisons aside, they're nothing alike.
-
I didn't think Flicker was that obscure. According to Amazon, you can pick it up new for around $10, with currently 45 2nd hand copies available from $6, shipping within 24 hours within the US.
I bought my copy for $2 from a 2nd hand bookshop a while ago, always thought it would make an interesting movie. Well worth reading if you're any kind of film buff.
Another one you should probably see is the Alan Ormsby-related 1991 movie Popcorn, you might get a bit of a shock. -
See, it's self-deprecatingly sycophantic, so it's ok.
-
...yet he confidently claims the novel and his screenplay are only superficially alike. Sounds like you shouldn't make those claims UNTIL you have read it, don't you think?
-
Oct 29, 2005 5:20:33 PM CDT
Yo Misty Mundae stars in Lucky Mckee's episode of Masters of
by neo zeed
Oh yeah! Psst..Herc, time for the exclusive interiew
-
Oct 29, 2005 5:26:46 PM CDT
I already have MOH set up on my Tivo after the interesting and p
by mr. profit
Bree Turner did a good job. The 1st episode reminded me of an old school Tales From The Krypt episode.
-
Actually, about 17 years ago during the height of my cult movie watching / obscure vinyl collecting, (back when I still considered screenwriting to be something worth doing), I wrote a script based on the premise of a Russ Meyer like film-maker losing his wife, friends and family in a Manson-Family style killing, and outpouring all his grief and anger at the world into a film that opened a doorway, killing all involved but him. He tried burning and otherwise destroying the film only to find although the film could be spliced and cut, the horrific images within were indestructable. Wanting the film to be completely distributed to the wind, he hides sections of film inside the gatefold covers of the soundtrack to his previous tittie film 'Wild Kitten Go-Go Hollywood' as the covers are being printed and glued together. Years later, the hero, a big fan, has no end of trouble locating the soundtrck album, for almost all copies seem to have disappeared. As he's reading the liner notes the glue unsticks and the film falls out. It basically ended up with a crazed collector who wanted to reconstruct the film killing everyone who has a copy, until he could resplice about a minute of the film into a loop, and when it was played all kinds of hell broke loose. Yeah, it was a really stupid idea, but that's not the point: I saw 'Popcorn' and thought 'Ok, looks like that's *kind of* been done'. Then I read 'Flicker' and thought 'Yep, that's *definitely* been done, and done much better than I ever could have'. I realised my script was now redundant and could possibly get me sued by either writer, so buried it in a box somewhere.
-
Who would have figured that Mori would come up with a piece of self-referential hokum, where almost every scene holds at least fifty subliminal homages to some Roger Corman movie that Scarified him as a wee Mcweeny. You should have spent less time paying-off fake reviewers and more time writing an ORIGINAL screenplay. For real horror, I'm waiting for Mortal Kombat: Ressurection (of a dead franchise)... Ah, now to shrug off the evil-hearted "fan"-boy within, and say I'm glad John Carpenter brought your script to life, and, from the looks of what this reviewer is saying, has jumped the slump (Ice Cube from Escape From The Ghosts of Mars: "Why's Martian Alien Ghostly Scum always gots to pick on the ex-rappers, dogg?"). I hope maybe you and Carpenter can do some future colaborations, because what he really needs is a critic (and a great one at that) to force him to do his best work. Nice 'un, Moriarty.
-
Hope it comes to DVD soon, I don't have Showtime
-
Oct 29, 2005 7:48:02 PM CDT
There's a review of Flicker over at www.filmrot.com; I think
by silver_joo
Your horror show is just coming from the same place, which is cool. Flicker and Aronofsky? Really? Wow.
-
or broken news. You had to figure this would get screwed. Technical difficulties. I also have technical difficulties with being a millionaire, good looking and well hung. The fact is, I'm none of the above, so technically, that's a difficulty. I didn't and don't really believe they'll ever get this off the ground. Too bad, it would have been neat. Technically speaking.
-
Everyone knows AICN wouldnt post a negative review on something done by one of their own.I bet that when mory's mortal kombat film comes out that aicn will only posts positive reviews from themselves even if the film will suck ass.
-
And once you've actually seen my episode, tell me if you think it's even remotely FLICKER inspired. Because it's not. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but anyone who's spent ten years working for a site that deals with film obsessive fans around the world would have plenty of original stories about the world of collectors without having to lift someone else's.
-
I haven enjoyed his writing on this site for years. Good luck in the future.
-
Gaspode has been writing in for YEARS and I never once suspected that he was Moriarty, and come to think of it, how could this be Moriarty - if his episode screened today at a convention, Mori wouldn't have been able to spill forth the praise until at least early December. Right? Heh. Well, sounds like Kurtzman, Kier, Swan and Carpenter saved Drew. I'm so happy. A happy Moriarty writes more often!
-
Of all your annoying wordly habits, that is the most annoying. I'm sure this episode will own my ass.
I've never read Flicker, or even heard of it, but quit stretching, people. If you really want to reach, I'm sure it has something in common with Demons as well. -
I think the book is fucking brilliant, but this sounds nothing like it. On the other hand, "currently out of print?" Yeah, great fucking research there.
-
I'll totally cop to the DEMONS thing, because I really dig that movie. I'm also a big fan of Tim Lucas's novel THROAT SPROCKETS. Nobody creates in a vacuum. When Aronofsky announced he wanted to do FLICKER, it was out of print, and I haven't made the effort to go back and search for it since. If it's in print now, I'm sure I'd love it. Sounds like it's definitely my cup of tea.
-
Can't you pay somone $200,000 to find it? LOL
-
Nobody but people who work for Roger Corman sets out to write something and says "Hey, we'll call it Carnosaur, and the Jurassic Park fans will eat it up." I want to see this episode, it sounds good, I don't care what the premise resembles.
-
Oh, no sweat. I knew what you meant. I'm just agreeing in the hopes that maybe a few people who haven't seen DEMONS check that one out during the Halloween weekend.
-
Oct 30, 2005 4:28:03 AM CST
Demons is an ace film BUT enough with the Mori copying this and
by silver_joo
Cigarette Burns sounds like a really cool bit of TV, that uses standards of the genre and twists them a little. I'm interested.
-
"Ancient Images", by Ramsey Campbell. Which I enjoyed years ago. Acording to Amazon "A horror film supposedly starring Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi, made in England in 1938 and immediately suppressed. When film editor Sandy Allen decides to track down a print of the film, her detective work leads her to Redfield, a rural community known for the delicious wheat that grows on its rich soil, fertilized by blood from an ancient massacre" Check it out.
I love the old haunted film idea and there's no reason why it can't be re-told a hundred ways as long as it's done with skill and care. -
I don't believe Mori ripped any novel when writing this script. The dude has spent soo much of his life ingesting the works of others, familiar and unfamiliar, that it would evidently appear in his material. This is more common than I think most people realize...now as for this review being a plant - anyone who has to preface their piece with a defense, then have it bookended by another's argument - someone doth protest too much. He should have just written the review without any qualifiers.
-
Oct 30, 2005 9:16:07 AM CST
Wow, a wildly positive review, what an absolute shocker...
by leiadown&fuckher
Two things. One, anyone who has to try to convice their audience up front that they would have happily cut something to pieces if it was crap before going on to wildly praise it is never to be trusted, and two, no one can ever give a truly objective opinion when it comes to reviewing the work of friends and close aquaintances. So with that all in mind, this review seems pretty fucking pointless and self serving hype driven to me, but hell, what do I know? I'm just this guy, you know?
-
I will of course wait until I get to see it for myself to judge this (and any other epiosdes for that matter) one way or the other, and make up my mind on the actual work itself then.
-
GriffinMill's post is just like a post I read two years ago on AICN. You'd think that the G-man would be a little more creative, but I guess he's content not to acknowledge his inspiration and to just try to pass it off as his own.
If I had Showtime, I'd check this out. As it is, I'll see them all on DVD. Congrats, Mr. Moriarty.
www.codemorse.blogspot.com -
Oct 30, 2005 10:12:18 AM CST
There are basic similarities, but I wasn't implying plagiari
by godardwhowhatnow
The plot of Flicker (a film-obsessed man who runs an aging revival-house theater is tasked to find the works of a mysterious filmmaker) seems superficially related to this one, but Flicker was a study of paranoia and conspiracy rather than horror. To say anything about Cigarette Burns without seeing it is pretty foolish. That said, I don't have a problem with anyone taking a good premise (say, Flicker's premise) and going in a totally different direction.
-
..."Incident On and Off A Mountain Road". Where's this being discussed on the board? I saw it the other night and it was very disappointing, with one or two good moments. Thankfully it's not by someone who I consider a "Master" just yet, so hopefully things will pick up.
-
Hey Drew, nice premise! I'm looking forward to checking out Masters of Horror when it hits DVD. I don't have Showtime so that's the only alternative I have at the moment. Speaking of horror I feel it's my civic duty to warn everyone to avoid Haute Tension. I saw it last night and almost broke the DVD in half. Horrible movie. I don't care how you rationalize the twist, the rest of the movie sucked too. It ripped off Dean Koontz' book Intensity for the better part of it's 85 minute run time. Pretentious crap.
-
Anyone remember that line of books? I think it was an offshoot of Dell Publishing but I may be wrong. I don't know why that series ended but they are hard as hell to find now. Nancy Holder's Dead in the Water and Kathy Koja's The Cipher were great books. The plot of Flicker sounds like a book I remember from Abyss.
-
I appreciate it!
-
We don't always see eye-to-eye, but from one creative person to another, I congratulate you on your success at getting a story put out there, and in grand style. `Hope it does well in the ratings.
-
Sounds a lot like part of Hollywood Hijinx. Moriarty sucks!!
-
I hope it's you dude or this'll come off real awkward. I also think they shouldn't have made Scud a baddie and killed him in Blade 2. That shit came out of nowhere! So wassup with Boondock 2. That thing could be a cult franchise $$$. Peace!
-
Praise the Lord. That woman has the greatest legs and ass in the history of the galaxy. Moriarty. Carpenter. Learn from Lucky: Cast Hot Woman In Moobie. Show Great Ass.
-
Misty's a lesbian in it *of course* hopefully doing the dirrrty with Angela Bettis. Now that's some appointment television!
-
I wasn't accusing Moriarty of outright theft - I was just saying that the surface similarities are there that people will probably bring it up.
With my own writing I was always very aware of these kind of accusations and would readily give up on stuff if I thought it had been done.
Agt Alonzo - the Russ Meyer idea was a clever plot to get boobies into the story at every possibility! However I wouldn't wipe my arse with my script. What you think is good writing at 18 and 34 are *very* different things. The only bit i really liked about it was the ending: the hero in the cinema knowing the film in going to be screened and his only protection is to not look at the images. But hearing the rest of the audience screaming and slaughtered around him, the drips of blood, the whimpers of pain, and then feeling the breath on his face of *things* circling around him taunting him to open his eyes so he could *see*. I thought would be too hard to translate visually, (i imagined a solid black screen with intensely horrible sound thinking the audience would be on the edge of their seat waiting for an image to appear and not knowing if they wanted to see it), but reminded me of being a kid with my hands over my eyes during the scary parts at a matinee. -
A couple of things don't make sense though. Ballinger is obviously obsessed with the film but not enough to want to interview the director's widow, since she's still alive? First place I would have looked for a print, and he could have saved himself 200 grand. Rooby Rooby Roo! And offering him the exact amount of money he needs to get out of debt? Destroys the tension and smells fake. Better Ending: the pandora's box effect, the more Sweetman learns the more obsessed he becomes until he has to see the film as well. Ballinger offers him the rest of the money he needs to get out of debt if he'll watch the print with him, but by now it doesn't matter. Viewing the film is all that's important, including knowing the violent consequences. But then D'Amour, oops, Sweetman, couldn't survive for another story.
-
wow...that's a hell of a read, purpleheadedwarr. Totally one-sided, possibly biased, but quite believable.
"The self-important Drew McWeeny"
wow.
-
So this is one of them there high concept thingys right? The 9th gate meets the ring? At least you dudes chose some cutting edge stuff to rip off.
-
If there were to be any semi-legitimate gripe it would have to concern copyright infringement, which "Cigarette Burns" doesn't do. Copyright law is very specific and if "Flicker" doesn't have a reel being sought after called "The Absolute End of the World" then there's no copyright infringement.
And if you want to bitch about "Well he stole from blah blah" #1 There is -NOTHING- new under the sun. #2 Everyone is influenced by something. Whether it's the funny guy in school who cracks a good one-liner that you strive to commit to memory for later use or even daydreaming about just once, being a star warring smuggler getting the chance to plant a wet one on the hottest princess in the galaxy.. we're all influenced by things we see, hear, read, or just experience.
It's not a crime, it's not a hack, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
The real question should be were you, the audience, entertained? Cause remember guys, that's why we're all here.
Well some of you are here cause you're just a dick and even though you secretly wish you were some A-list Uwe Boll, in reality you've never even made a film of your own. But it's so much easier to come in here and tear down at someone else.
Well, simply.. fuck you.
To anyone else out there who actually takes the time and effort to actually create, not destroy.. good for you and all the best. Those who would seek to knock you down for their own glory.. those fucks can just go eat a big bowlful of dick. -
Is a major hottie , she played her part well in the first episode..ya it wasn't the best but I liked it and will watch again next week.
-
Oct 30, 2005 7:45:33 PM CST
Nobody is accusing them of ripping off Flicker! Please stop bein
by silver_joo
-
The basic element - a film that causes bad things to happen to people has been done before. Graham Masterton wrote a book called Mirror Mirror which had a movie that caused the death of a lot of people who watched it c.1990s and I remember another short story about someone who had a version of Cabinet of Dr Caligari that changed every time someone watched it and it led to deaths - I'm sure there's lots of other films with that common premise like Demons as well but past that point I'm sure each story - including this one are mostly quite different. Eg, there's lots of vampire novels - even lots of novels with Dracula in it but other than that, many of them take the concept in a lot of different directions. As for Flicker - well I've read it and it seems fairly removed from this. There are hidden things buried in the films in Flicker but they weren't having this sort of an effect on people (immediate death and disembowelling for starters) as far as I can recall.
-
I am always into stories like this one. Reminds me a bit of (not in a ripoff sense) Lullaby, in the sense that it's a thing that seems to compel people to do nasty things or perhaps just die..............
I love the first episode. I can tell I'm gonna love this stuff. Seeing Angus Scrimm again was absolute JOY! I wonder how different things would have been if she'd just given him some fucking candy. -
Are David Lynch and Christopher Nolan. The end. Batman Begins is the best horror movie you will see all year. (Although High Tension would've been it, if it had started about 18 minutes after it did and ended about 30 minutes before it did.) Fucking John Carpenter is a hack. George Romero is a fucking hack. Stephen King is a goddamned hack. Wes Craven is a hack. All these people like to consider themselves masters of horror, but they don't want to scare anyone. They want to make horror movies for all sorts of different reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with making me piss myself with fear. Fuck that shit. Stop being clever and SCARE me, already, you insufferable jackasses! Jesus fucking christ on a pogo ball ... all yer sexy tomboy beanpole ass are belong to us!
-
Of that Monty Python sketch where the joke was so funny, it would incapacitate anyone who heard it.
-
Oct 30, 2005 10:12:49 PM CST
Crap, this was on the other day and I didn't know it was a M
by crispyone
Didn't Tivo it either..., crap.
-
Has figured us out. Damn it, you found the PYTHON sketch. We have no choice now but to hunt you down and destroy you.
-
Oct 31, 2005 12:09:34 AM CST
I can't believe you Robin of Loxley'd Ichi The Killer wi
by seppukudkurosawa
with all those ultra-gory head decapitations, and it also stole from the likes of The Last Unicorn (because...think about it, it's so obvious that it need not even be explained), and yeah the biggest thing your script shop-lifted from was the true-story of the 19th Century Scotland Yard briberies...I can't believe no-one called you out on that one. It's bizarre that you'd be let-off Scott-Free for all these unabashed pilferings. You make Doctor Frankenstein look like a Grave-Borrower with your kleptomaniacal ways. Do what I do when I'm trying to conjur up an original plot, and consume twenty litres of coffee and let your hands work their magic. It works better than writing the script on your laptop while something like Witchfinder General plays on the TV. Because even if it's on just for background jazz, you know that you'll ultimately slip in a couple accidental Vincent Price quotes.
-
That first episode of Masters of Horror was on last night in Canada (on Scream, just happened to see that it was on), so I DVR'ed it. Man, it sucked. Bree Turner was totally hot, but that's about it. The opening slow-song drive went on WAY too long. The 'first date' scene was lame- she wants to do the psycho guy right after he talks about selling 5-yr olds into sex slavery? WTF? The setting up the super complex Rambo traps with her nail files and nose hair clippers was just retarded. Pretty much the whole episode sucked, man I hope Mori's episode is better. Really though, Don Coscarelli has Phantasm I & II as his only good movies, and even then only if you are into 80s genre nostalgia. Carpenter on the other hand has made some of the best genre flicks of all time, so here's hoping he's back to form.
-
Because then what would you have to complain about?
-
I told a story that came from personal experience, not one that is just a ripoff. You haven't seen the episode yet. You seem very worked up about this. If you still feel this way once you've seen it, then I guess we'll just agree to disagree. In the end, John Carpenter said, "I
-
Is it just me or is the idea of an urban legend horror movie that makes people kill each other kind of lame in a "Tingler" sort of way? I guess as an excuse to kill people in interesting ways, it's fine. But so would a movie about Rabid Smurfs.
-
Oct 31, 2005 4:31:24 PM CST
However NOTHING is a better ripoff than High Tension to Dean Koo
by domi'sinnerchild
Same exactly story until the last part of the movie when they figured they could replace all that little girl stuff with a big action sequence and explain it away with a silly "twist".
-
..think it sounds awesome. Come on people-- just because the basic outline or logline resembeles some book does not mean that this is not an entirely original and unique work of art. Don't bash it until you've seen it. I think it sounds fascinating, and I'm certainly not going to discount it or insult Mori just because it "sorta sounds like something else."
-
self made geeks rule. Hurry up and get a full length feature made already will ya?
-
Okay, get this... The evil head of a Corporation has implanted his company's new scary masks with computer chips, each containing a small piece of a mystical rock (we don't want to be silly and have an image projected on a screen alone make everybody go crazy). On Halloween, when the Corporation's jingle is played during comercials, anyone wearing the masks will grow violent and kill each other. Gore and gruesome deaths everywhere! Maybe even some boobies if we can keep it R (sex kills, sex kills!). The movie follow heros trying to stop the jingle before it's too late. Maybe the movie could be promoted as a sequel to a totally unrelated horror series. Carpenter could direct!
-
I'm in the camp that hasn't liked a lot of the recent Carpenter films. That said, after reading the new issue of Fangoria and hearing from everybody who has read this script blind and said it is fucking super bad-ass (including folks that don't know AICN from the Drudge Report), I'm really looking forward to seeing it. And if you're a horror fan who isn't captivated by the idea of seeing a bunch of the guys who created some of the best horror films EVER getting handed a budget, a shooting schedule and told, "Yeah, do whatever," that's kind of sad. Wouldn't you LOVE for each of these to be the best goddamn things you've ever seen? Wouldn't it be GREAT if suddenly New Line or Fox or Rogue execs caught this and said, "You know, maybe Lucky McKee or John Landis or John Carpenter or Joe Dante or the super-underrated-Stuart Gordon should direct this next movie for us!" The next time some release schedule oater like "Flightplan" or "Derailed" comes down the pipe, having somebody like Don Coscarelli directing it knowing that he's going to do something new and interesting with the material might mean I'm in the door as opposed to knowing the whole movie from the trailer.
-
which I'm not saying this is like past the idea of a videotape or filmed event interacting with its environment.
-
... is a level of genius that I wouldn't pretend to aspire to on my best day. I adore that film, and I can't imagine anyone even trying to do what Cronenberg does. Long live the New Flesh, indeed.
-
You see, there's this website URL. But it's one of the old ones, from before when Gore invented the internet. Anyone who reads it, dies. Because everybody that has read the URL died, nobody knows what it is. Urban legend? Not according to internet geek Wil Bevin. He's obsessed with finding the link. Spending year sifting through internet porn trying to find it. Frustrated, he offers a (wait for it) two thousand dollar reward to the guy who wasted his life making all those A.i. links a couple of years ago. My favorite scene is when the A.i. dude comes to confront Bevin who's having a "private" internet session with the webpage. But offscene we hear the something disgusting happening. Carpenter ratchets up the suspense until finally we're paid off with the sound of kleenex being pulled from a box. Truely a Masterpiece of horror. Not Videodrome, but somepeople would argue it's better in its own way. Oh yeah and some guy you saw in the first scene that seemed totally innocent turns out to be the killer.
-
I am a fan of Aint-it-cool-news.com. I check the site out daily and I think Harry and Moriarty are great assets to the film community. It's nice to read a review from people who actually care and don't pull punches. I have a problem with Moriarty though. Now I have never read any scripts written by Moriarty. I can't say he is or isn't a good writer and I can't comment on if his episode of Master's of Horror will be good or not. I'm hoping it will be great, but we shall see. As you see the review is a positive one. But Talkback section has some negative comments. Like the review being a plant or Moriarty ripping off the book Flicker (which is a cool book by the way). My problem is that Moriarty posted on the Talkback section to defend himself. Saying he's never read the book and so on. I think that it's great that he's gotten a script produced and he's getting some success. I wish him luck on a long career. I don't think it's right that he uses the talkback to defend his work. He's handed out quite a few bad reviews and I'm sure he's laughed his ass off reading some of the comments made in the Talkback section. But I think he needs to separate himself from his persona on the AICN site. Not everyone is going to like something you've written. And it's pretty hard not to have some aspect of your screenplay be somewhat similar to something someone else has written (book or screenplay). Also some people are just "haters" and look for any excuse to put someone down. I just think that Moriarty needs to just let the people have their opinion. I'm sure there are tons of people on tons of sites that will voice their love or hate for the show. I don't think doing it on the AICN site is the right thing to do. A journalist needs to be objective and you don't seen critics defending their own projects in their papers, on their TV shows, or on their sites. I think it's a little unprofessional.
-
This also sounds similar to book by...can't remember. Anyways, it was about a dude searching for an old Bela Lugosi film that was fucked up or something...
-
It does diminish Mori's professional stature a bit to see him discuss this stuff in Talkback. In fact, I think Kevin Smith looks abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous with his 7 million rants on here, too. You would never see Spielberg or Lucas or Jackson talking about their stuff on here. It's an instantaneous ticket to amateurishness. Mori (and pass this onto Smith), let your critics say what they want, and leave your work to defend itself. It's a hard thing to ignore, but give it a shot. Otherwise you might not get taken seriously by the industry.
-
Nov 01, 2005 4:10:51 PM CST
i think filmmakers talking back to shits like us is a fan-fuckin
by emu47
That Lucas and Spielberg wouldn't talk to an internet community (which is generous; internet bunch-o-nancy-shitheads is more honest) is because they're fucking all about themselves. Look, it all comes down to this idea of creative people as these super-geniuses, who poop only gold ideas. When they were babies, their parents would deposit their diapers in the overnight bank deposit slot. But it's not true. Filmmakers are real people--just like talkbackers. I love the fact Kevin Smith responded. I don't like his movies (well, okay ... Clerks is pretty fucking funny, and I did like Chasing Amy until the end), but--for my money--a filmmaker coming to talkback to us makes it seem like that filmmaker is not afraid of seeming human. And that makes me think that far from being less than confident, they are more confident than Speilberg or Lucas, who only listen to yes-men. And for the record, Peter Jackson is much more forthcoming with the internet community. So, cheers, Mori, for coming to chat. And anyway, you all knew he'd be reading this shit, right? Keeping mum would've just made him look coy.
-
I'm not telling you not to have an opinion, buddy. Far from it. As you can see, a number of posters above have laid into me, and that's certainly their right. But after nine years of being here at AICN, I don't think now is the time to stop interacting with people. It's the same reason we maintain a chat room as part of the site... trolls aside, we enjoy the give and take with people, and I'm looking forward to next month when some of you will dig what we did, some of you will hate it, but either way, it'll finally be out there for you guys to judge for yourselves. I wouldn't miss those conversations for anything.
-
I'm suing. With a lawyer who argues a case so sadistically, the entire courtroom kills each other in an orgy of bloody mayhem allowing his client to walk out of court room victorious and/or a free man. He may sound like an urban legend, but you will discover he works for only... wait for it... two thousand dollars a case. Oh yeah, and he says "whoa" a lot and his dad is Al Pacino.
-
Dead right man, after nine years of writing here and interacting with the rest of us, when he gets the first ever review of something which sprang from his loins (figuratively speaking) is not the time to stop interacting.(grammar joe ????) I hope he is proud. his first TV show review, eventually Mori we will get to your first theatrical movie review. Im proud of you man!!!
-
Hope it does well. I won't know cause I don't get Showtime. Plus this whole "review" is really more of an advertisement, isn't it? I like how he said he didn't really like anything you or Carpenter have done in the past few years, but THIS blew his ass away. Let the art speak for itself, you don't need this sycophantic B.S.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 273 total posts 271 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 92 total posts 92 posts
- AVENGERS enemy revealed as pink boardgame pieces... You might suffer some form of elation... SPOILERS!!! -- 160 total posts 69 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 151 total posts 63 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 67 total posts 59 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 60 total posts 57 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 484 total posts 49 posts
- Here's The Red Band Trailer For Drafthouse Films' THE FP! -- 69 total posts 42 posts
- Friday Brings SWEEPS DAY NINE!! Gab Here About Tonight’s FRINGE!! Plus Einstein on TIM, Wiig On PORTLANDIA, MAHER, CLONE, GIFTED, GRIMM, SPARTACUS, SUPERNATURAL, GOLD RUSH And More!! -- 120 total posts 32 posts
- SPACE 2099!! -- 183 total posts 24 posts