Cool News
LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS review
Ok, after seeing CLAY PIGEONS a man in a suit
approached me. He claimed to be from
GRAMERCY and he had a heavy as hell shiny steel
35 mm film can next to him.
“Harry Knowles?” he said.
“Yes.” I said intelligently.
“I have something I need to show you, and that
you need to see. Do you have somewhere to screen
this?”
So Tom Joad and I call up Robogeek and ask if
he can give us the keys to the Paramount Theater in
town. Robogeek is usually easy to coerce, but this
time I had to promise him that I’d take him on an
adventure soon.
We swing by the Robo-labortory. He handed us
the keys and over to the Paramount we went. Now
usually I have this underground screening facility, but
I loaned Quint the place to try to woo some young
lass, but he left the vents open and well... it’s fairly
mildewy, so I had to use a real theater in Austin. It’s
dangerous cause of the danger of being caught.
We had the Gramercy fella meet us there.
Downtown Austin on Tuesday night is about as dead
as it ever gets. I send Father Geek up into the
projection room. And we, Father Geek, Tom Joad
and myself all saw LOCK, STOCK AND TWO
SMOKING BARRELS. The Gramercy fella stood
guard in the lobby, to make sure the rightful owners
of the Paramount never found out.
I’ve been hearing about this flick for a while
now, and when I was in London there were
advertisements everywhere for it. With a title like
that, it’s kinda hard not to notice. But I left the UK
before I could see it.
I’ve been having Brits rave on and on and on
about how good this thing is. Ahhhhhhhh Bullshit...
right? Wrong. This is everybit as wonderful as the
Brits are saying.
This is an ultra-stylish cool universe film. It
exists in that screwed up universe where Tarantino
and Rodriguez and Danny Boyle live. It’s that place
where nothing ever goes according to plan, where
everything looks cool even if it isn’t. And last but not
least there is this beat and music overlaying
everything that just has you doing that
“OOOOOOOoooooh YEEEeeeeeaaaaaaAAAHHH”
sort of thing.
This was the perfect double feature with CLAY
PIGEONS, unfortunately I don’t think that is going to
be possible till the latter part of next year when both
of these films are available on video. I was just lucky
as hell.
The easiest way for me to explain to you the
coolness of the film is to do a rundown on some of
the periphial characters. IE the characters that aren’t
the main folk of the flick.
First off there is HATCHET HARRY. He’s
about as cool as they come. A gun collecting card
playing porno dealing loan shark that just don’t take
shit from anyone and plays every angle like Caligari
in a german expressionist flick of old. He’s known to
beat people to death with dildos and other... pleasure
enhancement tools.
There’s BIG CHRIS and LITTLE CHRIS, a
father and son team of enforcers that... well, they do
everything together that you always wished your Dad
would show you how to do... you know like kill
people with doors, and bad looks. They wear the next
generation in cool overcoats. I think most people are
going to love this team.
There’s the afro-sheen MR BREAKER that has a
Samoan Pub, but deals high grade chemically
enhanched super weed (like that shit that turned Stacy
Keach into a lizard in CCNM). He’s a bad ass with
two guns and a crew of the biggest blackest badasses
around town. Imagine waking up one day with a
meaner and uglier Martin Lawerence standing over
you with a dripping jeri-curl Afro that has two shiny
pistols in your face.
There is the gang of paranoid laid back marijuana
hortaculturalists that are armed with a high powered
pellet rifle and a psycho-drugged out femme living in
the cushions of their couch.
There’s the bumbling moronic pair of idiots that
try to do absolutely nothing right.
That’s just some of the background characters.
The really good ones I’ve kept as a secret. Right now
I haven’t heard a peep as to when to expect this film
to hit the USA. But I can tell you this, when it does
get here, by all means go. Why?
Ahem...
Remember when Mr Blonde cut the policeman’s
ear off? Remember when Ving Rhames took it up the
ass from that HillBilly Bastard named Zed?
Remember when Renton went toilet diving?
Remember when Floyd toked from the Syrup Bear
Bong? Remember when Sex Machine’s Crotch Gun
lept to life? Mike McDermott played poker with
Teddy KGB?
Remember when Blake said, “That watch costs more than you
car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and
you're nothing. Nice guy, I don't give a shit. Good father, fuck
you! Go home and play with your kids! You wanna work here,
close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you
cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you
get on a sit?”
You may be getting the point by now. You see
this film is about those quirky mean as hell cool
moments where the subversive film freaks, like you
and me, smile and walk out of the theater and know
we are cooler than all the people out there that
haven’t sat in that seat and saw that moment. This is
that type of film. The one you imitate dress from.
The one you buy the soundtrack to. The one you buy
the all the dressing DVD or LaserDisc to. This is a
cool movie.
My father began hailing it above
TRAINSPOTTING as did Tom Joad. Me? Well, for
me they are two films of such incredible differences
that I can’t begin to compare them on a quality level.
But I can say this, I’ll end up watching and quoting
this movie more than I will TRAINSPOTTING.
It’s quirky and it is cool. If ya want to know
what it is about... well go to the site and read that for
yourself, it’s at
>this link.
The flick is just cool. It’s not a film for Mid
America. It’s for those that wear black. For those
with piercings. For those with the hair of a different
color. It’s for people that love cool films.
To wrap this up, let me say that... wow...
Gramercy really is showing a couple of fun as hell
films this day. Now see CLAY PIGEONS if you’re
in the USA, and go see LOCK, STOCK AND TWO
SMOKING BARRELS if you are in England. They
are both a damn good time, though you folks in
England are getting a better deal.
-
+ Expand All
-
Too right, Harry, my man. Never has a review been more accurate, this film is funny, stylish, and non-linear.
Everyone in it has CHARACTER, no surplus roles, created for big stars, just pure film entertainment.
GO SEE THIS MOVIE PEOPLE.
Americans - make it your mission to track down the distributor of this film, and make them give it a HUGE distribution.....it deserves it, YOU deserve it.
MARK -
After reading your review, you inspired me to look at the official info. But alas, the link did not work. Could you check it to make sure it's correct?? Thanks. -Ral
-
I believe the address is www.lockstock2barrels.com from what I remember of the trailers here in the UK. Good example of what you can do on a tiny budget makers of Godzilla, huh?
-
here's the address that you can check out review of Lock Stock
http://members.aol.com/ant7570/redviking.html -
Hey Harry
Liked your review on the above. If you want to see what 2 of us British reviewers thought then come on over to http://lizardslair.home.ml.org where you will also find many more excellent film reviews. In fact the Lizard's Lair site is such a cool film review site I think you ought to have a link to it!
Sam Salt (no relation to the Lizard) -
Saw the film yesterday in a sneak preview. It was awesome. Funny, witty and cartoonesque violence. A great european film. You have to see it if you can. I like it as much as The Big Lebowski, another great and kewl film !!
-
I enjoy reading your reviews and everything but would just like to point out that folks in BRITAIN not England are getting the better deal. I'm sure you wouldn't dream of calling the Trainspotting crew English so why leave out the Scots and the Welsh? Sorry if I'm being pedantic but I'm an Eng teacher in Japan trying to teach them the difference between England and Britain so it would help if the US media etc would get it right too!
-
I haven't seen L,S&2SB but as Harry says it's all over the UK.
It looks VERY cool, with a real originality to its direction.
also...oh man.....does anyone else love Glengarry Glen Ross as much as I do? -
Glad to see you dug "Lock, Stock". Personally, I didn't want to see it--the ads made it look like a smart-arsed Tarantino rip-off, but it was very hard, very cool, and very funny.
Also--it was good to see Dexter Fletcher onscreen again, who was once big in the UK but doesn't seem to have been working lately.
Hope other US audiences are able to get this movie... and without any subtitles. (-:
Later,
--ian
http://members.aol.com/ukcritic -
Harry,
I can't believe it! Someone of your taste and knowledge liking this derivative, badly acted and totally uncool movie! You should know that despite its UK b/o (quite impressive), no-one here thinks it's cool , like say Trainspotting is/was. People think it's a crappy stereotype of what film-makers think the East End is supposed to be like, and although a lot of people have seen it, they've quickly realsied that they've been taken in by the hype and that they wasted their money. Out of 15 Brits I know who have been, at least 10 said they wanted to leave before the end.... -
Please pay no attention to Bishop.He/she may be speaking for him/herself but certainly not for the huge majority of British film goers.
This film is very good.
It should be seen by everybody.
I myself saw this film recently and was soooo impressed by the style in which it was filmed. It was a breath of fresh air.
EVERYBODY I know who has seen it has loved it. But dont take my word for it. Go see it yourself. -
I have not found one person who does not love this film.
I is quite simply "the dogs bollocks".
Nice
Joel -
What you said about this movie
not being for Middle America?
What if you live in Middle
America AND you dress in black, have funky colored hair and piercings and love cool films?
I'll answer: You're screwed, because cool films don't come to
MidAmerica, because people go
around saying stuff like that.
Sorry, I'm touchy, because that
movie will never play anywhere near me. -
Hey, Caroline Baby! You rock my world!
I've gotta agree totally with what you're aying. LSATSB IS totally the Dogs (bollox). Cool as a summer breeze, BLAH BLAH. Everyone should be made to go and see it, just for the fuck of it.
And if you disagree - you're wrong. And if you're a fucking yank, you're wrong by definition.
So, a blow-job ISN'T sex? Cool. Maybe my tribunal will go better than I hoped. -
i loved this film. i really hope that it gets a wide screening in america...it deserves a lot of success.
vinnie jones was fantastic as big chris i though....some really emotional moments there especially between him and his on screen son.
i also loved rory breaker-i'm sure i've seen the actor on some british sitcom or comedy show....anyone know which one it was? -
Totally agree with the review of this wonderful film. It started slowly here in the UK with most thinking it was going to be a low-budget Tarantino rip off but word of mouth has now made it something of a phenomenon. It's funny, its sassy and it has the best cliffhanger pay-off since the Italian Job. A film so good even Sting is good in it. By the way, if you enjoyed Lock, Stock try Divorcing Jack which has just opened over here. Superb. PS Karen: Rory breaker was played by Vas Blackwood who used to be Lenny Henry's partner on the Delbert Wilkins show.
-
Visited the site for the first time today (15/10/98) and I must admit that I am indeed impressed!!! Enjoyed all of the reviews I read and cannot wait until these movies come to London, England (the good ones anyway!!) This is real people giving real reviews, no bullshit!!
On the 'Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels' subject.....you are absolutely right, cool was invented for a movie like this! '2 Weddings and a Funeral'? up your arse mate! cop a load of '...smoking barrels' and be thankful this lot do not live next door to you!!
Anyway, enough drivel, back to work for me and I'll catch you later
Maintain!!!
John -
Maximum reeespect to Guy Ritchie for a wicked film that's up there with Pulp Fiction in the urban gangster genre. Blinding script with some quality cockney to quote.When it comes out in the states it's a must see especially if you know the regional stereotypes. Big hand.
-
Many comparisons have been drawn between Pulp Fiction and Lock, Stock. Don't get me wrong, I love PF - it blew me away when i saw it, but Lock Stock is altogether more sassier. I know that there are some similarities between PF and LS, but LS is grittier, funnier and downright hard. If you haven't seen it, go see it. Like the Italian Job it has a great ending. But let's leave it there.....no sequels please, we're British. It's just a shame that LS doesn't have a version of the Gimp!
-
in Lock, Stock. I think she's played by an actress called Lisa Wells - an absolute babe.
We should see more of this top totty on our screens. I'd like to see her in Demi Moore's role in Striptease. Sccchhhwinnngggg! -
Hey, *I* saw it in Edinburgh Scotland and figured NO WAY was this going to get to the US...except as a remade-in-USA product. My wife (who doesn't like that genre) and I both were knocked out.
Last year, we were in Glasgow for a week at a conference and saw another film there that NO WAY would ever get to the US and CERTAINLY not to our hometown, Naples Florida. Wrong! The movie? The Full Monty!--Terry Miller -
Calm down! Lock Stock is very stylish, refreshingly different from most of the guff that is around, and generally a pretty good film. But why is everyone getting carried away about it?! It sounds to me a bit like the people who've seen it are congratulating themselves, not the film, for having seen something that - it appears - not many people in America have, people are just championing it because they got it first and want something to show off about. Whatever. But suggesting that it is better than Trainspotting!! Comparing it to Tarantino!! Lock Stock is pretty good. But it is fake. Derivation isn't really the issue as you'd hope that new films would build on previous ones (and anyone who deplores something for being derivative whilst praising Pulp Fiction / Reservoir Dogs is a bit silly), but Lock Stock is calculated, superficial. It is designer cool, it has no soul. It's not about anything (unless it is meant to be a bit of a parody of comic-book, Tarantino-esque style "cool", but that certainly isn't what people have taken it for). If we Brits want something to be snobbish about, what about TwentyFourSeven? (also featuring "Dog", one of the best things in Lock Stock, as a dodgy businessman). The question is: would Lock Stock have been thought up without Tarantino, Singer and Boyle? - not would it have been made, but would it have been envisioned? I hope Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels does well in America and helps to expose as many people as possible to different kinds of films. I just find it very fitting that Chris Evans should masterbate over it and it has Robbie Williams on the soundtrack. I think the main thing that all this hoopla shows is that a lot of movie fans are very bored.
-
Yes, LS&2SB is one hell of a great movie, even if Ocean Colour Scene are on the soundtrack. I cannot remember the last time that I laughed so hard at a movie, or when the rest of the theatre (which was PACKED, natch) were in such hysterics either. Very stylish.
Has anyone else heard about that twat Chris Evans adapting it into a TV series? He get's Vinnie Jones on his TV show, and thinks he owns the film! Knowing his track record in production he'll ruin the memory of what was an absolute classic of it's type.
Oh: also, I was expecting Vinnie Jones to be terrible, but I actually thought that he was pretty good! He's a better acter than he is a footballer. Still, he didn't really have to act, did he? He just IS Big Chris. So I guess I can forgive him for playing at Selhurst Park, home of The Scum.
By the way Karen - Rory Breacker was Lenny Henry's sidekcik Winston (his parents named him after Winston Churchill) in Lenny's eponymously entitled pirate-radio-in-Brixton sitcom from '87-'90. That was back when Lenny Henry was funny.
One last thing:
GO SEE THIS FILM!!!!!!!!!
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Quint sees some DJANGO UNCHAINED footage at CANNES!!! -- 257 total posts 257 posts
- A Fire Definitely Rises In The New DARK KNIGHT RISES One Sheet!! -- 179 total posts 178 posts
- "I Don't Remember An Episode." The Teaser For THE MASTER Is Here!! -- 143 total posts 143 posts
- "Some Men Are Coming To Kill Us. We're Going To Kill Them First." Teaser To SKYFALL! -- 239 total posts 122 posts
- Charlize Theron thinks it is pretty badass to be in a Ridley Scott Space Movie! PROMETHEUS featurette -- 79 total posts 79 posts
- UPDATED!!! TWO Teasers For ANCHORMAN 2 Are Online And On Top And Filled With Cream!! -- 85 total posts 73 posts
- Peter Weir Will Enter THE KEEP! -- 67 total posts 67 posts
- Tonight Brings The Last HOUSE Ever!! The NBC Premiere Of AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR!! More Stern On AGT!! And More!! THE LAST MONDAY OF SWEEPS!! -- 95 total posts 60 posts
- The Infamous Billy The Kidd Chats With Director Joe Carnahan About THE GREY And His Vision For DEATH WISH!! -- 57 total posts 57 posts
- Tom Cruise Saddles Up For A Remake Of THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN!! -- 59 total posts 57 posts