Cool News
Newly Milfy, Tina Was Back Behind The Desk Saturday!!
I am – Hercules!!
America has fallen in love with Horatio Sanz on the Weekend Update desk!! How will it react when the beloved Sanz is pushed aside by Tina Fey's return from maternity leave?? Quite well, perhaps, now that Fey sports Dratch-calibre breastitude!!
“I had to get back to work,” the now-superhot 35-year-old millionairess MILF said in a Thursday press release. “NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.”
“Saturday Night Live” 31.3 is lousy with Britishers! Host is Wales native Catherine Zeta Jones. Musical guest is Scottish pop sensation Franz Ferdinand.
So … back to Fey. In addition to serving as head writer and eye-candy cast member on SNL, Fey, who authored the screenplay to the big-screen Paramount smash “Mean Girls,” is said to be in the middle of casting an NBC sitcom set behind the scenes of an SNL-like variety telecast. It’s supposed to bow early next year.
But. NBC very recently won a bidding war to acquire, from “Sports Night”-“West Wing” mastermind Aaron Sorkin, an hourlong set behind the scenes of a very SNL-like variety telecast. It’s due to bow next autumn.
So now that it’s landed Sorkin, will the network continue to lend a lot of support to the Fey project (which is produced by SNL mastermind Lorne Michaels, himself a comedy genius)? Can one network house two backstage-at-SNL productions?
Time will tell, my friends. Time will tell.
11:30 p.m. Saturday. NBC.
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to be first to say "who gives a damn".
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Who the fuck in America like Horatio on Weekend Update??? his best position is screwwing up the skits he's in!!! Not the straight-faced news!!! Holy Canoli!!!
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Horatio Sanz absolutely blew in the weekend update chair. I know a lot of people on here hate Tina Fey, but she's the best update anchor since Norm Macdonnel. To me she's right up there with Dennis Miller and Chevy on Update. Honestly, SNL needs a superstar and she's the closest thing right now. Granted she's not the same kinda star like Will Ferrell, Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, etc ... but she's not bad.
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Mostly because she's one of those SNL'ers that knows when a joke is lame and still manages to get through with with some wit, aside from nervously going nuts a la Jimmy Fallon.
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Oct 22, 2005 12:42:03 PM CDT
Hmmm... Fey or Sorkin? Fey or Sorkin? Who would I trust to deliv
by rufus_t_firefly
Pardon me as I stifle a chuckle. Tina Fey hasn't been within the same zipcode of anything funny since 1996.
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How come no one ever talks about that gash on Tina Fey's face? The story for that is bound to be funnier than anything she has ever written for SNL. As long as the head writer of SNL is a woman, the show will not be funny. Women's humor is very limited, for the most part.
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Now, now, Herc, are you goading those Michaels haters?
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Oct 22, 2005 2:18:36 PM CDT
The new FAMILY GUY calendar has Lois in a "got milk?" ad, only i
by frankdrebin
Available at a cheap, tasteless mall store near you.
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UGH, what a yearbook photo! I knew Fey was not her real name, and always had a suspicion that she was Greek. That picture confirmed it, what a fucking dog.
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Some people are saying that Lorne is thinking about retiring in a couple years.. some say that he thinks that Tina is the first person that he has ever considered as being up to the job.. some people also are just speculating but hey who am I to judge them? Oh, wait, I'm the guy who's just speculating..
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Classy. Very classy. Maybe wait for the cooter to heal before declaring your intention to sexually dissapoint someone.
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for pug ugly (obviously greek) women, see gwool dot com . Ioanna Lili, especially.
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they seem to have no problem housing more than one forensic-examiner-lawyer-cop-doctor show at the same time
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Reminds me of Scrubs + ER, or even Dennis Leary's woefully underrated The Job + NYPD Blue, though The Job didn't get the ratings, I think the examples show you can have two different takes on the same network (hell, even on the same night) and still have two quality productions. Though I don't know how much hope to put into Fey's show, as "genius" as I guess Lorne is, with the exception of Wayne's World the track record of his non-live offerings all share a lot the same qualities of mediocrity.
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Really hard. Insanely hard. Stop blindly defending this show Herc. You'll be better for it.
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I'm just saying. She's going to have knockers of steel and we'll all take note. I love boobs. Boobie, boobs, boob. Mmmmm.... Milf.
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If you know anyone who works at NBC, try to go there Saturday afternoon, and watch the rehearsal of SNL on the closed circuit TV. The rehearsal without an audience. It is hilarious, and the true way modern SNL should be viewed, because there is nothing more painful than how bad this show is, how unfunny it is, and to see it performed where there is no one around to politely laugh is a treat indeed. Tonight's episode is going to be so bad. They're actually making Sharon Stone jokes in one sketch. I shit you not. Just purtrid stuff.
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Who thought it w@s @ good ide@ to m@ke B@sic Instinct 2? It's gonn@ be worse th@n @ SNL flick.
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or he'll bring up the cowbell sketch from 5 years ago in his pathetic defense of a show that went down the tubes a looooooong time ago. Who the fuck in America likes Horation Sanz doing update? Who the fuck in America *KNEW* Horation Sanz was doing update?
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See ya in ten years when you type SNL is awful again and SNL is still on the air. See, ya made no difference, but you can type SNL is awful till your fingers bleed. Have fun.
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I think MadTV is on tonight. You should watch that instead. Or maybe Matlock...
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Oct 22, 2005 10:40:40 PM CDT
I never noticed it before, but C@therine-Zet@ Jones looks like @
by shermdawg
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Freakin' talented woman there. Really impressive monologue performance.
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Oct 22, 2005 10:48:08 PM CDT
Ok, they @ired @ @d for Um@ Thurm@n's new flick during the f
by shermdawg
I'm wondering how they got the "His penis is so gorgeous, I w@nt to knit it @ h@t." line, by the FCC.
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Oct 22, 2005 10:52:24 PM CDT
wow. this episode is like Andy Kaufman bombing as Foreign Man.
by hypeendshere
only without the redeeming Elvis performance. douche chills, anyone?
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Seriously, I just watched the first three sketches, or was it two, and they were flatter than Mya Rudolph. I think they might keep the same ratings if they just showed episodes from the first 5 years. Plus, it'd be funny, not a test of will.
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Oct 22, 2005 11:18:29 PM CDT
They fl@shed @ Ch@rles Rocket pic @t the end of Weekend Upd@te
by shermdawg
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The opening sketch was mildly amusing but let's face it, the staged open mike with bush and the troops was like shooting fish in a barrel. The Weekend Update was so horrendous I can only believe it was a tribute to Johnny Rocket or whoever. I really should be studying right now.
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Sketch- 5 minutes of ads - Sketch- 5 minutes of ads -Sketch- 5 minutes of ads -Sketch- 5 minutes of ads -Sketch- 5 minutes of ads... Jeez! They used to have two or three sketches in a row. Now it's one 3-minute sketch followed by a ton of ads! On another note, CZJ is still gorgeous, as is Tina.
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All that "look at me" giggly shit during Weekend Update is just shameless. With VERY few exceptions, Belushi had it right: Chicks aren't funny.
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They're talking smack about you man. Are you just gonna sit there and take it, or are you gonna call these talkbackers out? You can't let this happen dude, you need to step up. Defend SNL's and AICN's honor! Come on Herc, YOU CAN DO EEEEET!
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Oct 22, 2005 11:47:44 PM CDT
Spe@king of Herc editing stuff, where did the hotdog deb@te go i
by shermdawg
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He needs step up dammit! He needs to defend Lorne Michaels! He needs to defend Tina Fey! But more importantly he needs to defend the cowbell sketch! Come on Herc! They're saying you had your ass handed to you. Nobody says about an AICN admin, especially from talkbackers. They're talking about a user union. A FRIGGEN USER UNION. ARE YOU GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN HERC?! You need to start posting dude and show them who's boss. Come on Herc, don't let Harry down.
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Oct 22, 2005 11:58:14 PM CDT
@nd if he w@s so into editing, why didn't he fix his typo in
by shermdawg
Will Forte w@s lucky m@n in th@t wedding sketch. D@MN YOU MICH@EL DOUGL@S!!!
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Oct 23, 2005 12:15:08 AM CDT
Catherine-Zeta Jones will never look hotter than she did in, Sp
by orionsangels
the 1991 turd. She was beyond sexy in that. She had this young cute look about her and she showed lots of leg. After that It was all downhill after that. She got these laugh lines and stopped being sexy and became annoying.
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Oct 23, 2005 12:15:49 AM CDT
Catherine-Zeta Jones will never look hotter than she did in, Sp
by orionsangels
the 1991 turd. She was beyond sexy in that. She had this young cute look about her and she showed lots of leg. After that It was all downhill after that. She got these laugh lines and stopped being sexy and became annoying.
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Oct 23, 2005 12:16:38 AM CDT
Catherine-Zeta Jones will never look hotter than she did in, Sp
by orionsangels
the 1991 turd. She was beyond sexy in that. She had this young cute look about her and she showed lots of leg. After that It was all downhill after that. She got these laugh lines and stopped being sexy and became annoying.
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Oct 23, 2005 12:18:10 AM CDT
Catherine-Zeta Jones will never look hotter than she did in, Sp
by orionsangels
the 1991 turd. She was beyond sexy in that. She had this young cute look about her and she showed lots of leg. After that It was all downhill after that. She got these laugh lines and stopped being sexy and became annoying.
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Oct 23, 2005 12:33:00 AM CDT
Catherine-Zeta Jones will never look hotter than she did in, Sp
by orionsangels
the 1991 turd. She was beyond sexy in that. She had this young cute look about her and she showed lots of leg. After that It was all downhill after that. She got these laugh lines and stopped being sexy and became annoying.
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No just kidding. AICN decided to go wacko and posted my thread five times.
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They would h@ve @ll been posted @t the s@me time, or even @ few seconds @p@rt. Theres @ fourteen minute g@p between the l@st two posts.
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I just c@lled out your use of the word "though" inste@d of "through" in you're opening to the Lost t@lkb@ck. So don't t@rget me if you wish to l@y down the l@w of Herc. "I'm @ virgo, I don't like confront@tions." Nuff s@id. Nuff s@id.
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you using "you're" when you clearly mean "your" is fair game. not to mention allthefucking@@@@@@@@@@@s.
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@nd the big m@n c@n. @s f@r @s the @'s go? Well, this site drove me to them.
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Oct 23, 2005 1:10:43 AM CDT
SNL isn't funny and I hate it when people use stupid grammar
by led gopher
I am better than you, you are better than me. Let's all play nice and kill each other in our sleep.
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It just w@s tied into the whole Herc likes to snip and ch@nge things discussion. Believe me I h@ve h@d my f@ir sh@re of booboo's too. @nd you're right SNL isn't funny @nymore. So why @re we "t@king up precious b@ndwith", (@s Herc put it) t@lking @bout this sorry excuse for @ show?
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He wasn't on last weeks or this weeks shows. That Sudeikis guy seems to be doing all the parts Parnell would have done. Any way.....another unfunny show. Was anything good? I just watched it and i don't recall anything funny.
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But man didn't a lot of those sketches suck tonight. I found myself changing the channel quite a bit. And I kinda wished that I didn't know what Franz Ferdinand looks like. I love the music, but their stage presence sucks.
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Oct 23, 2005 3:08:32 AM CDT
Parnell has a sitcom right now. The pilot did really well, says
by lenny nero
Apparently, they all know about each other, but they won't tell me how Tracy Morgan is doing. Sheesh.
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Oct 23, 2005 3:15:05 AM CDT
I'm sorry, and I usually hate the last 10 years of SNL, but.
by lenny nero
CZJ's first "real" sketch about the Fosse dancers was worth the other 75 minutes of unfunny. If you've ever seen a Broadway musical, you'll know why.
The rest sucks, but goddamn was that good. -
Still, it's funny.
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ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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They used to be the cool and sometimes lesser known artists who didn't get much of a TV shot. Then the SNL appearance would maybe boost their career. Now it's just crappy lip syncers and false artists (Alecia "I'm not sure if I'm black or white, so I'll just talk 2 different ways depending on which show I'm on" Keys). It used to be the high point of the show. Now you're fed retreds of Ashley Simpson. Can you imagine being in the audience and having to endure that? I'd grab the first thing I had and throw it at her.
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I've never wanted somebody to stop using "@" as an "A" more than I do right now. It's harder to write that way and nobody (read: NOBODY) thinks its cool.
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I posted the post 5 times and it wouldn't go through. kept saying xternal problem or something. After 4 tries i stopped. then a bit later i returned and it worked, but the others got posted as well.
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Oct 23, 2005 9:16:23 AM CDT
I hate Virgos. Virgos are evil. They talk behind your back every
by orionsangels
They point things out and laugh in your face. They give advice to everyone and think they know what's best for everyone. So fuck you virgo! I'm a Scorpio and I have you pinned down. I see right thru you!
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Oct 23, 2005 10:29:31 AM CDT
Yeah, they love to "ban" in here...for no apparent reason.
by mister man
Anyway, I agree with Zero....what's with the skit/ad/skit/ad BS?? And as dawg has noted, Poehler's giggling renders her Update bits absolutely pointless.
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SNL, ZING! Oh @nd the @'s will go @w@y when the @qu@m@n t@lkb@ck goes @w@y. Lets be honest though, it's not ne@rly @s b@d of @ gimmick @s "EPISODE III WILL OWN YOUR ASS!!!". Well.....m@ybe it is. :)
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You know it's true! Hmm ... m@ybe "own your @ss" isn't the best term to use, given the n@ture of some of the sketches.
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I can't believe I'm the only person kind enough to let you know that. And as for the rest of you - nice, real nice. Let the guy go on and on about being deleted while laughing at him behind his back for being a pussy. That's really mean. You have to speak up to protect people from themselves sometimes, you insensitive pricks.
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What. It's funny.
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did wayne brady have to choke a bitch?
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But I didn't see SNL last night, so I can't compare. They are seriously savage though.
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I'm just trying to help you out. Really. I am. Trying to get a protest going against Herc, and then carrying it over across multiple talkbacks just plain old makes you look bad. Unless this is some sort of performance art piece that is way over my head.
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Oct 23, 2005 6:43:59 PM CDT
Sniping at a moderator of a messgae board is gay but a moderator
by i dunno
I don't really know which end of that spectrum the truth lies but I ran a site much larger than this and I've seen both. It's best for both just to chill the fuck out.
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You mean he married Beyonce? Does Jay-Z know about that?
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oh well here they are: H@rry, l@w, me@n, m@rried, J@y-Z, @bout, th@t. Sorry for the goof. :)
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I'm not trying to defend Herc here, but that statement can basically be used to decribe almost every geek who has come into contact with a message board/forum. Treating people like crap who disagree with you is an everyday tradition in Talkbacks. You think Herc is the first guy to act this way? He won't be the last I can guarantee that. Sure, you wouldn't expect it from an admin, but what are you going to do when another member of the 'user union' exhibits the same conduct? Start a new user union against that guy? What if there is a whole bunch of a-holes? What's going to happen then? Ask every poor bastard who has engaged in a debate with one of these a-holes and they'll tell you that nothing ever came of it. What's done is done and now it's time to move. That's one of the funny things about Talkbacks. You'll have at least two people bitching the hell out of each other for a couple of days, and then once it stops everyone posts normally as if nothing happened. Personally, I love these flame wars (I like to instigate). It's one of the reasons why AICN maintains a decent hit count these days. If I were you I'd let it go. Herc is the one screwed up, and he knows it. That's why he won't be posting any time soon. Sure enough, as soon as Herc posts again, whether it be in 1 week or 1 year, someone on the talkback will make a smartarse comment about Herc's behavior. Herc has done the damage to himself, and he won't hear the end of it. That's his punishment. And so what if he bans someone? These days banning is pretty redundant considering how easy it is to make a new account.
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Forget this SNL stuff, DOCTOR WHO, the current smash hit cool show of the UK, will be airing on HBO in the fall of 2006! THAT is the coolest news ever!!!! (26 episodes, 45 minutes each.)
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Oct 24, 2005 4:12:44 AM CDT
Barrymore, will I have to watch the original series to get into
by lenny nero
I watch a lot of TV DVDs, so I'm becoming very selective.
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You don't have to be an old DW fan to enjoy the new series! The new episodes are fast-paced (for the most part), with good special effects, a sense of humor and fun, a dashing (and goofy and serious) Chris Eccleston as the Doctor, and Billie Piper is tremendous as Rose, the Doctor's new, um, friend. I hate to compare it to BUFFY (because AICN seems split between Buffy lovers/haters), but it is snappy and cool like Buffy was years ago. I'm hoping that HBO doesn't make the same mistake that FOX did with the 1996 TV-movie (advertising it by telling everyone that they've already missed out on 30 years worth of stories).
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Grenier is due for an SNL appearance, but two seasons on an HBO show doesn't guarantee anything outside a great cult following and critical acclaim.
Oy vey. -
Oct 24, 2005 7:51:27 AM CDT
Barrymore, any official confirmation of the DOCTOR WHO HBO rumor
by spyguy
Because HBO would be a much better forum for the new DOCTOR WHO than the "Mansquito"-airing Sci-Fi channel, who inexplicably think DOCTOR WHO (the world's longest running sci-fi series) is beyond their audience. No interrupting commercials, a more respected cable channel, the chance for decent press coverage in the States...yeah, I'm down with this wacky new "HBO" concept...
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Could you throw up a link to the article / website that's reporting this ?
Thanks -
Question: I remember the old Doctor Who show th@t @ired on PBS, is he @ wiz@rd or @ time traveler? Or is he just @ doctor? WHO IS THIS DOCTOR????
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Don't be that guy.
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Or it drops from m@in p@ge. Seriousley, me over using the @'s will prove just how ridiculous it is. I me@n y@ gott@ st@nd for something in this d@y @nd @ge, don't y@? Just be gl@d, I h@ven't jumped on the $=S b@ndw@gon.
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Oct 24, 2005 1:22:05 PM CDT
Seriousley though, t@lk @bout @ @wkw@rd tr@nsition, SNL to Dr.Wh
by shermdawg
But when it comes to SNL @nd Awkwardness, they go h@nd in h@nd.
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I forgot two @'s, this is getting too h@rd. I should stop. Well, not in the @qu@m@n thre@d, but here, ok. SO WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS DOCTOR? I'M BRITISHLY CHALLENGED! PLEASE HELP. I'm also Googlely challenged, or just too lazy. And when you're too lazy to use a search engine thats sad. GOD I'M PATHETIC! *cries*
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I mean, she's average, about a 6 maybe a generous 7. Is it the glasses? The snarkiness? I mean, she's not funny, she sucks at her job and isn't half the gal Amy Poehler is. Amy and the UCB guys should totally take over SNL.
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While his full origins remain unknown, the Doctor comes from a planet known as Gallifrey and was a member of a powerful hierarchy known as the Time Lords, who as the name suggests, have considerable mastery of the forces of time and space. Unwilling to accept his responsibilities in Time Lord society, the First Doctor originally left Gallifrey in a stolen Type-40 TARDIS (short for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) time and space machine along with his granddaughter, Susan. Arriving on Earth in the year 1963, the Doctor and Susan soon settled into their self-imposed exile, while the TARDIS' Chameleon Circuit (which allowed the TARDIS to change shape to match its surroundings) was somehow disabled, forcing the TARDIS to retain the shape of a 1960s British police box. Susan's teachers, Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright, became suspicious of Susan's activities and tracked her down to the junkyard where the TARDIS was located. Ian and Barbara entered the TARDIS, which is spatially larger on the inside as a result of transcendental dimensional engineering, causing the Doctor to activate the TARDIS' controls, sending them off into Earth's prehistoric past and the first of numerous adventures in time and space. Over the years, the Doctor has had dozens of companions and has regenerated his body several times as a way to resurrect himself following a fatal injury (and also keep the series going with a different lead actor). At some point before his eighth regeneration into the Ninth Doctor, Gallifrey was destroyed in a Time War involving his longtime nemeses the Daleks and other alien races. Presumably (but not probably) the last surviving Time Lord, the Doctor is now a lonely wanderer through time and space and he has taken on a British girl, Rose Tyler, from the year 2005 as his latest companion. Their adventures begin with the 2005 DOCTOR WHO series starring Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor, and now David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor. So now you know...and knowing is half the battle.
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but they both suck.. Rachael >>>>>>>> tina and amy combined, in the funny department that is.
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remember how awful the show was when her and anthony michael hall were on? The show will resurrect itself somehow. I'm sure there is some talent being forged at second city.
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W@s th@t the one where Chris F@rley would @lw@ys @sk if he could h@ve @ beer? those were hil@rious, @nd they weren't over used like Debbie downer.
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Just joking, nice to see you've taken up the cause. I, however will keep my @'s in the Aquaman threads.
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I think Nora Dunn is who you are talking about. Not sure if she left the show when Dice was the host though. I heard she just refused to take part in that episode... And yeah, you're right, that was the true golden era of SNL.
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America does not care about SNL anymore. It hasn't been good for years now.
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and her little scar too...
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The post being repeated five times wuz for affect......... because it's the biggest load of horse@hit I've ever heard. Mrs. Douglas still looks pretty amazing, thank you very much.
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Kill that bitch.
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Maybe the best tits on TV. Can't believe I forgot to record last weekend's SNL. Am looking forward to seeing how Tina Fey's tits are coming along.
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She is horrible as head writer and worse on Update. Lorne Michaels is out of his mind, or just desperate, putting her as head writer. Horrible.
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I especially love when Josh Acid waters down the acid, and when he throw it on the troublemakers they say "It kinda stings." That shit is hilarious. Mel Gibson as Frankenstein's evil twin was great, as was the Lethal Weapon spoof where they fight Scarface. Classic shit. Grumpy Old Man:"In my day...." And nothing beats Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, I love when they dissolve from him with a club in his hand, to him litigating. Great shit.
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"Star Wars: Episode III will own your ass!!!" Which we all know is NOT true.
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jesuschrist officially retired it over in Harry's dvd column. This is a historic moment in AICN. Nuff said. Nuff said.
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What she may lack in certain area's lookswise, she makes up in personality. Ethan Hawke you suck! Not as bad as SNL, but seriousley, dude!
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I will always love Sprockets though. Pure fucking genius. When Stiller came on as a grown up and bitter, chain smoking Eddie Munster, that shit is hilarious. When Deiter asks him about Fred Gwynne, all he says "7 foot freak, 7 foot freak man."
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