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THE CREATURE returns! BLACK LAGOON remake gets a director!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with news of the moment. SAHARA's Breck Eisner has been announced as directing THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON from a script by Gary Ross (whose father wrote the original 1954 film). Eisner (whose father smeared feces on Uncle Walt's portrait in Disney HQ) seems like a really nice guy. I've heard good things about him. I never did see SAHARA, so I have no idea if he's right for this film, but I will say that this one's all about the tone. While not my favorite Universal Monster (I prefer both Frankenstein and The Wolf Man) there was a creepiness to the original that surpassed the other Universal monsters, particularly that great underwater shot of the girl swimming on the surface while the creature followed below, looking up. Harry knows and loves the original film more than I do, so I wouldn't be surprised if he pops in to give his two cents on this revelation. Good luck Gary Ross, Breck Eisner and the crew. You got some mighty big flippers to fill.
Readers Talkback
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This might be worth a look, even if I did think that Sahara kinda sucked...
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i wasn't a HUGE Sahara fan. i'd have loved to have seen someone else tackle this film. someone who make an intimate epic, and keep it old fashioned. CGI will ruin this film.
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Wish they'd just leave it alone, though. It's just like "the Day The Earth Stood Still". What can you add to it that would really make it better? CGI? Contemporary time frame? Giant spiders and polar bear fights?
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They don't seem like bad guys, but are they right for this? Anyhow, if you think about it, a remake of this film could be extremely creepy if done right.
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Who's going to play Richard Carlson's part?
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Oct. 20, 2005, 2:25 a.m. CST
Gill Man is possibly the most perfect monster design in all of m
by FrankDrebin
I looove the original, but you realize that not a whole lot happens. The boat arrives, they look around, Gill Man checks out the babe, they leave. The End. (or rather, "The End?")
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Oct. 20, 2005, 2:27 a.m. CST
If it wasn't for Steve Zahn, there'd be no reason to wat
by FrankDrebin
Just like if it wasn't for Giovanni Ribisi, there'd be no reason to watch FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 2:40 a.m. CST
I hope they keep the original desing of the creature as close as
by The Founder
Seriously. I hope they don't go CGI grazy. Yeah I can accept an update of the original, but please make the Gill man reconizable. And no creature babies left behind at the end.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 2:41 a.m. CST
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Eisner!? You are fucking kidding me!
by DerLanghaarige
The son of the guy who killed Disney? The man who made the lame "Sahara"? Oh C'mon.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 3:02 a.m. CST
Apart from some astonishingly crap music choices SAHARA was a bl
by Cash Bailey
But if I have to hear that fucking 'Magic Carpet Ride' song ever again I'm climbing the nearest clock tower. same for 'Sweet Home Alabama'.
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Pretty much dig the whole cast, McConaughey, Zahn, Cruz, Macy, even like the goofy guy from the US Office, but the film just fell completely flat. And yea, the music was terrible. I understood the idea of trying to make em good ole boys, but they didn't have to be so cliche about it. Which may have been alright, but everything else was pretty lame too. Had no idea the guy was Michael Eisner's son though. Anyways, I'm not usually one to cry about movies or remakes being pointless, but as far as creature features go, this would seem to be the one with the absolute least to offer.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 3:22 a.m. CST
You just KNOW that this is gonna have the exact same plot as ANA
by FrankDrebin
without Jon Voight as the hammy comic relief.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 3:34 a.m. CST
Jeezus God, Can't These Morons Come Up With Their OWN Storie
by filker-tom
Sorry, sorry. I apologize to the shitheads passing themselves off as creative filmmakers. Far be it from us to not love their endless remakes of things that were either done right the first time or never should have been made in the first place. Hell, the ONLY reasons I'm looking forward to KONG are [a] Jackson's doing something new and different with a story filmed seven-two years ago and [b] they're finally releasing the original on DVD so I don't have to go without. I anticipate new versions of "Singin' In The Rain", "Casablanca" (oh, wait, they've already redone that a few times on TV), and "The Day The Earth Stood Still". Wankers.
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Or I will hunt down and KILL! Err, well, at least I WON'T go see it.
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...When the creature has most of his skin burnt off and runs around in a trench coat. I hope they update it and let him drive a car.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 4:45 a.m. CST
Like Planet of the Apes, the original still holds up so well tha
by Uncle Stan
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They've been talking about this remake for over a decade. Back then John Carpenter was interested in doing it. That could've been something...this, I dunno.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 6:02 a.m. CST
Don't know why, but the idea of THIS remake actually appeals
by Lone Fox
They just better not 'Giger' up the creature. As said before, leave the design alone. It's perfect.
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Creature from the Black Lagoon was one of my very first Horrorfilmexperiences (anyone in Germany remember MumienMonstrenMutationen?). My Dad recorded it and it took me three times to watch it in whole because at some point I always used to run out of the room, too scared to watch further. Haven
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Oct. 20, 2005, 7:27 a.m. CST
Gotta agree, this will end up being another Anaconda deal.
by Shermdawg
Its a shame though, because Gill Man is the second greatest movie monster of all time right behind The Alien. Anyone remember him in The Monster Squad? God I loved that movie. I need to track down the dvd. "Wolfman got nards!!!"
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Let's get the idiot who's the son of a much more famous idiot to perpetuate the idiocy that Hollywood thrives off of! Genius! Because Sahara was such a great movie... Uh-huh.
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...for giving us original movies
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Oct. 20, 2005, 8:11 a.m. CST
Looks like everybody can make a remake of a true classic.
by DerLanghaarige
C'mon, let's give Joel Schumacher the director's chair for a remake of a Chaplin-Film of his choice, starring Bernie Mac.
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Me neither.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 8:40 a.m. CST
Wasn't the creature one of Hannibal's disguises in the A
by Lone Fox
Love it when a plan comes together
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...that awesome original theme music for this? It sounded like someone farting through a trumpet underwater.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 9:54 a.m. CST
It's not an Anaconda storyline. That's why they brought
by genro
Carpenter and others have approached Universal over the years with horror-theme Creature films and were rejected time and again. I know the producer is making most people think "he'll hold to his father's script", but it's not in the way we view it. Expect a push for the Beauty And The Beast subplot, not the Jaws aspect. Uni wants mass appeal on a high-eight figure film, not the limited demo of a 15 million dollar horror flick...in other words, prepare for Mummy, not Relic or Anaconda.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 10:15 a.m. CST
The Gill-Man design in The Monster Squad was an excellent update
by Osmosis Jones
And when the FUCK is that movie coming out on DVD? You'd think that they would've released that to tie into the DVD release of Van Helsing, or something. Anyways, you all know a Creature update will just go the super-campy Mummy/Anaconda route, only minus Jennifer Lopez in a wet T-shirt.
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Lemmie guess: There will be CGI swamp fog, CGI creatures for the CGI Creature to fight and the swimming scene will feature a skinny-dipping Jessica Alba for us to gawk at through the Creature's eyes. Wait, no. No, this will have to be PG-13. Make that a clothed Salli Richardson.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 10:34 a.m. CST
You know, Sommers wouldn't be right for it, anyway.
by Anna Valerious
Now, if it was the second "Van Helsing" where a battle on the High Seas scenario was involved, it would work. But if it's gonna be modern-day, then go with the other fellow. Otherwise, we'd get something shitty like "Deep Rising".
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damn...you know Breck Eisner is going to keep getting good deals from now
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Did you just imply that Van Helsing "worked" while calling Deep Rising "shitty"?
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...but I was impressed by it all around. Eisner did a surprisingly good job, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for this.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 11:23 a.m. CST
Dude, do you have estrogen coarsing through your body?
by Anna Valerious
That's your answer right there. It seems us gals perfer the monster movies while you guys thought "Deep Rising" was great. Besides, "Van Helsing" is a proposed trilogy. They were only starting things off.
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When adapting this remake, please hold up the current Anaconda, Mummy films as a template of what NOT to do with this potential franchise.Avoid camp, rappers turned actors, and excessive CG. Watch Peter Jacksons update of KONG and how seriously he takes the material as opposed to the crapfests like Van Helsing. You can make a good name on this or really piss alot of geeks off. Dont mess it up.
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at least Deep Rising was well paced and entertaining. Sahara made me want to punch the screen. can't stand McConaghy OR Steve Zahn (who really needs to play another brain-dead wisecracker) Who gives a rats ass about Breck (?!?!) Eisner anyway, I'd rather have Gary Ross direct it.
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"You can all just freakin' eat me."
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Oct. 20, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST
""Van Helsing" is a proposed trilogy. They were only starting th
by DocPazuzu
Thanks, Anna. That's going to keep me awake for a week now. On a side note: the last time I checked, Deep Rising was a monster movie as well. Not to mention immeasurably better and more fun than Van Helsing.
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Why don't you go do something useful, like swallow your head.
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I ***completely*** agree with FrankDrebin - "Gill Man is possibly the most perfect monster design in all of movies". I've been saying that to people for years. In fact, just the other day I was thinking about the creature design when I came up with this illustration: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24100616/ It's nowhere near as cool as the actual CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON but it was fun to do anyway. Hopefully they won't screw up another classic monster! Of course the filmmakers will find a way to improve (ie ruin) him.
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just thought I'd say...
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Oct. 20, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST
DEEP RISING wasn't anything special, but did have 3 good sce
by FrankDrebin
When Wes Studi (the Sphinx from MYSTERY MEN) is being swallowed alive by the monster and wastes his last bullet trying to shut up the wisecracking sidekick (Kevin J. O'Connor, the guy who gets eaten by bugs in THE MUMMY). And then the scene where the monster spits out one of the guys, and you think he's okay, but then you see that he's only half there (it was so over-the-top ridiculously gorey that it was funny). And then the ending, when they think they're safe but it turns out they're maybe on Skull Island and Kong's about to land on them. The movie could have been improved by a better monster design (are you listening, Brett Eisner?) instead of having just a bunch of writhing tentacles.
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Great scenes, indeed. I love Deep Rising. It's not that Deep Rising was good by any sensible standards, but it knew it was schlock and wasn't trying to be anything else but the best schlock it could be. Also, it didn't have the ludicrous budget of Van Helsing and didn't try to cram as much bad CGI as it could down viewers' throats as often as it could. It was cheap, nasty, stupid (in a good way), funny and completely outrageous. Van Helsing was by contrast tedious, numbing, stupid (in a bad way), unfunny and completely irredeemable. It was even worse than LXG, which is saying a lot.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 1:41 p.m. CST
Steve Wang made Gillman and Abe Sapien, so I hope they have him
by Declan_Swartz
http://www.deathstudios.com/stevewang.htm http://www.deathstudios.com/monster_squad_gillman.htm
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Oct. 20, 2005, 1:43 p.m. CST
I don't have too much of an attachment to the original CREAT
by Orbots Commander
We all just KNOW that it will likely star Tom Welling (the new Freddie Prinze Jr.), Sarah Michelle Gellar and an all CGI creature a la HULK and Gollum. As far as Breck Eisner, don't have too much of an opinion of him. Nepotism blows big time, but is unfortunately a reality not only in Hollywood, but in other businesses as well and obviously in politics. Re: Sahara, I rented it and fell asleep through it, then returned it the next day, so I can't tell you all how good it was or was not. An aside: if I were Breck Eisner, I would watch and re-watch the following, Cronenberg's The Fly, The Howling directed by Joe Dante, and Carpenter's The Thing.
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I would also hire a great second unit team that can shoot great under water action sequences. Your main concern is to get a great script out of your writers.
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Shoot yourself and be done with it. That is all.
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Namely, Rosie O'Donnell. I never watched her show but happened across it one day and watched a few minutes to see what the hub-bub was all about (it was very popular for some reason). And in those few minutes she ruined for me both The Sixth Sense and Fight Club. Sadly, no one ruined Van Helsing for me; the film did that all on its own.
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Oct. 20, 2005, 3:50 p.m. CST
"Sahara made me want to punch the screen. can't stand McCona
by www.valiens.com
Why would you ever watch a movie starring two people you can't stand? Especially one as destined for mediocrity as "Sahara?" Just wondering. On another note, uh, is Van Helsing still going to be a trilogy or did they just mush all three into that one god-awful movie?
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... then a they should a do it inna the 3D like a the original, eh? Only this a time, she be inna the IMAX 3D! Holy crappa!!
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...and needs to be shown from creature's point of view.
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Where the hella you been, you magnificent Italian stereotype?
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Did you see the paint job on that Steve Wang Creature design? Hire the man!! As for the director. Well...I too sat through the first 35 minutes or so of "Saharah." *sigh* Still, if they need a Hispanic guy to pilot the "Rita" I'm their man. "Even I, Lucas, know the legend of the Man-Feesh!"
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"Heh! Crazy feeshing. Feeshing for rocks!" That does it, I'm watching that movie again tonight...
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da-ta-DAAAA!!!!
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Oct. 20, 2005, 9:37 p.m. CST
Gillman effects should go to Bker or Wang, anyone else would rui
by Monkey_King
Rick Baker was unofficially attached to Carpenter's would-be-film-that-never-was, yet Steve Wang(a Baker protege and great film director/writer in his own right) did a bang up job on the GillMan for Fred Dekker's MONSTER SQUAD(which has still eluded DVD release, save for crap VHS-to-DVD transfers). What Baker & Co. did with Abe Sapien in Guillermo's HELLBOY makes you want Cinovation on this project more than anything, myself included. Three names come to mind when discussing creatures effects for this film...Baker, Wang or Bottin. Wang's interested in a film I'm developing on my namesake, on top of that... he's always wanted to make a Monkey King film anyways(as evidenced in KUNG FU RASCALS).
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Oct. 21, 2005, 3:13 a.m. CST
They must use a man in a suite and have the Ester Williams scene
by Jugs
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Has Hollywood run out of original ideas?! First a remake of THE EVIL DEAD coming up; now this?!? WTF!!? Bastards!
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Oct. 21, 2005, 4:39 a.m. CST
Personally, I loved 'The Mummy' and think it's the b
by TheGinger Twit
And 'Creature from the black Lagoon' will never be the next 'Alien' but with any luck it wont be the next 'Anaconda'. I'd love to see it get a 'mummy' treatment!
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Oct. 21, 2005, 4:50 a.m. CST
Do you guys really want to see the exact same man in rubber suit
by TheGinger Twit
Seriously, the premise is a group of scientists venture into the Amazon to seek out more fossils of a creatures hand... wouldn't you rather see a real 'big foot from the swamp' kinda creature? Something terrifying and 'real' get with it - it's a remake with todays world!!
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You were there yourself, but not for very long.
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It's an iconic image to be sure, but it would look silly in an updated film. Unless... They added a cgi tail that the creature bobs people on the head with. I'd buy that fer a dollar!!!
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which was simply one of the worst movies ever ever ever made. Take a look at the scene where the captain or some 'official' is on the balcony. I think hes giving a speech or something. Anyway, FOLLOW the camera angles/edits. Its like your mother was running a cam recorder at a high school basketball game. And the comic relief guy? Makes Polly Shore seem like Marlon Brando. The comic guy is the single most grating and annoying character/delivery ever committed to film. A horribly paced, badly executed, and grossly inept waste. It ranks with the adaptaion of 'Deep End of the Ocean', Oliver Stones 'Alexander,' Mick Garrets 'Riding the Bullet', "Pet Semetary 1 and 2', and 'Batman and Robin' as one of the worst movies of all time.
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this is going to be awful. Eisner is going to play it by the numbers and give the studio suits what they want...another opening like The Fog remake with a low budget cast and lots of CGI. Get ready for the MTV style jump cuts, and a cast featuring the stars of your favorite cancelled WB teen drama...really, does anyone expect anything else?
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You just don't get it, do you? How can you compare an intentionally low-brow schlockfest like Deep Rising to pretentious, tedious, serious efforts like Alexander and Deep End of the Ocean? That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard - and wildly inappropriate to boot. If anything, Deep Rising succeeds in what it sets out to do much more than the above mentioned films. An apple is not an orange, chief.
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...I had the keys to the kingdom and I left them in my other pants. Now I can't find them and can't quite remember how to get back in. I almost feel like a character in a bad post-apocalyptic series of Christian-themed sci-fi novels.
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Crap is crap, whether its an oscar contender, movie of the week, exploitation film, or just a drive in T and A fest. Likewise, a good movie, a 'FUN!!!' movie is good IF ITS GOOD-GET IT? If a movie is supposed to be just a distraction, does that mean its ok to also just be inept? Consider how many millions were spent on that 'Fun' time you had at Deep Rising? When I think of 'FUN!!!!' distractions made for 1/100th of what 'Crap Floating...er, Deep Rising' cost, I think of stuff like: NIGHT of the LIVING DEAD; ROBOCOP; EVIL DEAD 1 and 2 etc etc etc. Theres lots of great examples out there and they smoke this crap you defend on the basis of, "Well, people who dont like it are just elitists who dont get that its not supposed to be Citizen Kane." Good movies are just that, good movies. Nobody said a friggin thing about Oscars, or drams, or high brow stuff. Stuff that really really really sux really really really sux in spite of its lineage, genre, budget, acting, cinematography, script, ad infinitum. Does that make this easier for you to understand?
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I'm Hollywood!!!! Now if I could just remember where all my coke and hookers are, I'd be set.
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Oct. 21, 2005, 11:41 p.m. CST
(Sigh) I gotta go along with pazuzu on this also (Sigh)
by TheGinger Twit
Deep rising was pretty fuckin good I thought.
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Apparently, you can only have "FUN!!!" with a movie you've given the rubber-stamped Uberman Seal Of Approval, thus making it safe enough to watch since it's within the confines of your Goodness Zone. Show me a person who only has "good" movies in his collection or "good" literature on his shelves and I'll show you a boring, pretentious, insufferable tit. There happens to be a monumental difference between what I think is "good" and what I "like". There are plenty of films, the superior qualities of which I would never dispute, which I loathe. There are also films which I consider absolutely dreadful, but which I love with a passion. Also, there are great films which I love, and terrible films which I hate. What I can't abide, however, is when people arrange their tastes according to what a society more or less collectively has decided to be "good" and "bad".
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According to an old Wired Magazine article, Sandy Collora, the guy who did the Batman: Dead End short, pitched his version of Creature From the Black Lagoon to Universal. There's a photo of his redesign on this page: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.02/play.html?pg=4
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a sensitive multi-trillion dollar CGI musical adventure where classic scary amphibian monster meets horrifyingly irritating amphibian racial sterotype straight out of Birth of a Nation.
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no really....he would just give the creature some oral pleasure with that tongue of his and there would be no fight at all...closing scene would the creature and Jar Jar holding hands singing the theme from the sound of music "The swamps are alive with the sounds of Jar Jar slurping....."
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