Oct. 19, 2005, 6:44 a.m. CST
...I can't wait!
Oct. 19, 2005, 6:45 a.m. CST
by Man of Stool
Oh, and... DOOM, my ass!
Oct. 19, 2005, 6:51 a.m. CST
I used to love 80's action flicks where there was almost no story just good fun to watch arnie and sly single handedly take on a fucking country!!! I take it from the warning of there being no real depth to the movie it's a bit of an 80's throwback.
Oct. 19, 2005, 6:54 a.m. CST
I don't know about anyone else, but this reminds me of the Seinfeld episode I think was called 'Opposite', where George has to do everything the opposite of his first impulse. I'm starting to do that with Harry's reviews.. he says it's great, must suck the chrome of a bumper.
Oct. 19, 2005, 6:56 a.m. CST
No character arcs, no character depth, just shooting, blowing up stuff, chainsawing and one BFG to die for! I'll be there opening day. Even if it's not oscar material, its still action and gore galore :D
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:04 a.m. CST
Fom Harry's review, this is exactly what I was expecting and I can't wait for the fun to begin. It's my turn to pick the movie, and I know my girlfriend's already dreading seeing this. I sat through "In Her Shoes" so it's her turn to be bored. I big tub of popcorn and a Coke and the BFG! This is going to be two hours of pure fanboy fun for me.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:12 a.m. CST
I never expected to see "Coen Brothers" mentioned in a Doom review. But anyway, I think I'll skip this one. Good review, though, Harry. Always fun to read the comments of someone who just wanted a good, dumb time at the movies, and got it.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:13 a.m. CST
...at least a 25 million first weekend.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:16 a.m. CST
Actually the audience gave the film a good amount of applause afterwards. Quint liked it, Kraken Liked it, FatherGeek liked it. Of the AICN group only Massawyrm didn't like it, but he was sitting in the "critics" area this time out, which tends to separate you from fun. Seriously the "critics" section seems to have a fun dampening sphere over it. This isn't a great film, just a real fun one.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:18 a.m. CST
As I said before, this looks about as fun as ALIEN VS PREDATOR. Sorry, Harry. I'm not biting. 'Think I'll skip this one. DOOM looks like a straight to video 'Rock' movie to me. Or a SciFi original if you were. Although, this past weekend I sat through both the new RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD movies... Even though both films are paint-by-the-numbers, zombie films for the sake of capitilizing off the success of the current run of zombie films, production value for the SciFi network has gone up substantially. Both films had the look and feel of a true Studio Film. Sad to say, DOOM doesn't even look that good.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:23 a.m. CST
...but DOOM is cool! :-)
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:28 a.m. CST
DOOM totally kicked the shit out of DUKE NUKEM. Better sound, graphics and play. Heh.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:31 a.m. CST
Just kidding, I enjoyed both of those.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:32 a.m. CST
Serenity gets a middling review but DOOM, he loves. Sigh.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:35 a.m. CST
...in Duke Nukem 3D where you find a hidden chamber behind an altar, and inside the chamber is the Doom guy's dismembered torso on a stake. Heh. Almost as fun as the hidden, imprisoned ewok in Dark Forces.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:36 a.m. CST
I wonder if Microsoft will convince Peter Jackson to delay The Lovely Bones to direct the Halo movie. I mean, it already has Jackson as exec. producer and WETA doing the effects, so why not go all the way and have him direct?
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:44 a.m. CST
Come on, this is a piece of shit. Just because it topped your insanely low expectations doesn't make it a good movie.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:50 a.m. CST
by The Colonel
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:54 a.m. CST
Since they took the idea of the creatures being from hell out, I worry that they just got lucky with all this doom culture stuff. I mean all that suttle doom stuff that makes it so awesome do you think they tried to do all that stuff? All that it's like the players of the game stuff kind of just sounds like action movie cliche to me. I mean the director did make cradle to the grave. That movie wrote the book on what not to do. I dunno genetic researching gone wrong...AGAIN! I mean fucking seriously..I'm still gonna see the movie but still the one cool thing was that they are from hell..What if Constantine twisted it around and these Demons were actually just genetic experiments gone wrong? The people are all hallucinating on drugs and Satan is just one of Keanu Reeves multiple personalities. O fuck they might actually make that I came up with it first!!!
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:58 a.m. CST
by Optimus Primal
While the original Doom was groundbreaking. The FPS genre didn't hit its stride until the first Half Life. Which I still consider the best FPS ever. Its like being dropped into the middle of a great movie. Other notables, Return to Castle wolfenstein, Deus EX, Call of Duty, Far Cry, Halo 1&2, Mafia, Hitman: Silent Assassin, Tribes. I cant believe you sacrificed gaming for pursuit of a "real life"??!! Pffft, and you call yourself a geek. Fraud, fraud I say.
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:07 a.m. CST
while I enjoyed predator as a youth, i don't think it holds up to scrutiny. Every character in that movie is a cypher, there's nowhere near as much development of the alien as there should be (as thre was in Predator 2 in fact) and the scene where Carl Weathers (the 80's Billy Dee Williams) gets his arm blown off, dude, you can see him holding his arm behind his back! I mean predator's good but it ain't as good as The Hidden. Now there's a strong work.
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:08 a.m. CST
"I was always the jack off psychotic asshole that wanted to hunt and kill my fellow players and let the monsters own it all. After all, we
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:11 a.m. CST
Unfortunately my gaming days are pretty much behind me until my kids get old enough to be introduced to I am sure a great 21st century gaming experience... Played Doom, Doom II, and Duke Nukem3d and while all of them were fantastic--Half-Life was far and away the best FPS of all time. Haven't played Half-Life II yet though. Manhunt for PS II has to get my award for most psychotic game ever. Although to go way back, old school, Deadly Towers for the NES had to be the hardest f%$*ing game ever. And if any of you remember that game you are truly old school. I remember having the Sear's Master System, how about that bitches! My Dad paid like $200 bucks for that thing back in like 78. Adventure owns your asses! LOL.. I will see this movie however..
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:12 a.m. CST
I'd feel a little funny seeing this. I hope it does well though, Rock deserves a big hit. You know, if Tom Welling doesn't get a Superman flick after Routh crashes and burns, Rock would make a kickass Supes. Yeah, I said it, I WANT TO SEE THE ROCK AS SUPERMAN! C'mon even you people that dissed me for wanting Denis Leary to play The Joker, gotta admitt that Rock as Kal-F'n-El would rule.
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:14 a.m. CST
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:23 a.m. CST
Denis would make an awesome fucking Joker. What's wrong with some people?
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:25 a.m. CST
That's pretty much what I was expecting Doom to be like. A good,fun,gory action flick. Good review Harry. I was introduced to Doom in pretty much the same fashion as you (in college computer rooms) and never looked back. I do wish the Hell theme is in the flick (it would've made for some cool set pieces), but I'm definitely going to see it. And then I'm going to play Quake 4.....
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:35 a.m. CST
this is nuts. every movie he's been in has gotten dismal box office numbers, thumbs down from ebert and roeper, a crappy script, horrible co-stars and guess what? the rock CAN ACT! ok? he started out wrestling, and that's a BIG STEP UP FOR SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO GET HIS CAREER STARTED. but, if anything, the scorpion king was the worst action movie spin-off yet.
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:42 a.m. CST
bring on the dumb 80's action flick revivial. The Rock showed in Walking Tall he can do the macho shit and still out act Arnie. You can take any turd movie like Red Scorpion or Commando and use any meathead, it'll still be mindless entertainment, something I wanna blow the dust off every few years, a crappy VHS copy to watch when I'm bored.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:15 a.m. CST
Halloween68: You're not saying you actually LIKED those two POSs, are you? They were SO bad, they made Uwe Boll look good (and made P Anderson look like an Osacr winner!) Stupid - stupid, stupid, stupid, is the only word to describe them. What a complete WASTE of time, money, and material (there was no talent there to waste). RotLD 1&2 were great classics, 3 was so-so. And they were not (if I recall correctly) SciFi Channel productions. As far as DOOM goes, until Peter comes out with HALO, they're all pretty much crap - I did like MK & MK: Conquest (2 was only so-so) - and I have no hope held out for Moriarty's MK3. Somehow, I think I'm going to view DOOM in the same fashion that Massawyrm did. And let's get one thing straight - COMMANDO f'ing rocked.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:19 a.m. CST
Oh, and hey Harry, whatever happened to that "GREAT" movie that you were supposed to be producing? The one where you weren't going to make the mistakes that all the other producers out there that make garbage do? You ranted on for AGES on how great this movie was supposed to be, and since you got the job (what? a year ago? two?) we haven't heard a single peep - and it ain't listed on IMDB. BTW, wth are you doing as "producer" on JOHN CARTER???!
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:26 a.m. CST
Forget every FPS games you have played until now. Forget the pretty mediocre Doom 3 (i still regret that i bought this game) Forget the Quake games, RTCW, FarCry and Halo. Forget even Half-Life 1, Unreal&U2. CallOfDuty and Medal of Honor are pretty decent WorldWar2 games. DeusEx and SystemShock2 were pretty good and pretty difficult FPS games. But if you haven't played HL2 you don't know nothing what FPS games truly can be in nowadays.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:28 a.m. CST
Look at a movie like "Commando". That movie sucks. I mean, really - judged by any standard with any artistic or socially redeeming value whatsoever, that movie blows. And you know what? I liked it. If it came out today, and I wrote for AICN, I would give it a positive review. Why? Because I laugh my ass off when Arnie runs across some guy's estate back yard getting shot at by about 300 guys, but doesn't get hit - and then shoots all those guys. I laugh my ass off when Arnie says, "Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied." Sometimes I like something that any reasonable person would tell you was bad, simply for the sheer lack of regard it has for anything sane or decent. Think of the spirit that animates people who like Troma films. Consider, for a moment, that Harry is someone who LOVES MAN IN SUIT GODZILLA FILMS. Consider that. Harry is not Pauline Kael and you shouldn't expect reviews that don't reflect Harry's idiosyncratic tastes. Usually the "review backstory" Harry provides is extraneous junk, but in this instance, I think he gives you a pretty compelling case that explains to you perfectly how and why he likes this film.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:28 a.m. CST
I'm glad to see PREDATOR 2 getting some love, you don't see that very often, though it is a quality film. However, PREDATOR *does* stand up to repeat viewings, mostly because it was directed by the best action director that has ever lived, John McTiernan. It was on PREDATOR that his style became more apparent, with the use of rack focussing and steadicam shots conveying the information we need to know without a character uttering a word. Think about it - after Arnold gets rid of the chick, I don't believe there is one word spoken until, "You're one ugly mother-fucker." That's got to be at least ten minutes of purely visual storytelling, the best kind. At that point in time, there hadn't been anything like it made. It was the very first of the competently-made 'mindless' action films, and is still one of the top five action films ever made, IMHO.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST
Harry, high five!
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:36 a.m. CST
Whatever. High five, Harry!
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:59 a.m. CST
by Orbots Commander
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:02 a.m. CST
Your Doom-playing days in the great city of Austin sound like mine. Doom3 rocked my world and I hoped against hope this would be good. I was invited to the screening here in Houston last night but couldn't go (wife working, other commitments). I'll look forward to seeing it with the masses.
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST
I think it'll be a fun ride if we view it as a movie about Doom culture as opposed to the game per se. And by "we" I mean "I." There's no chance in hell any of my friends are going to want to see this. And by "friends" I mean "people in my head." "Head" meaning penis. "People" meaning "sperm." Oh god, I've gotta go!
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:15 a.m. CST
Glad you like this one Harry, now I have at least one real good review to go off of. Ironically, this is one of your most coherent reviews to date. Well played. Here's to hoping this is the beginning of bringing all the old school games to the screen. Duke Nukem would make an awesome flick (Vin Diesel, definitely), and Wolfenstein wouldn't be bad either. But really, I think the world needs...Commander Keen: The Movie.
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:24 a.m. CST
I don't want anything other than dumb fun. My hopes of a Ridley Scott or James Cameron, big-budget, no-dialogue Doom movie went the wayside a long time ago. The only thing that really bugs me about this movie is that they took out the Hell element. Why? That was half the equation. Oh well, it will probably be fun.
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:39 a.m. CST
by Doom II
Doom stole many hours from my life in the 90's. I still have Ultimate Doom and Doom 2 installed on my computer (they take up NO space). Really got into Quake when it came out, but Doom defined FPS, plain and simple. I will see this without the wife as I did with AVP.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11 a.m. CST
...is anything about the creatures. Strange he should ramble on about Kong and yet not tell us whether the creatures in Doom are worth a look. Can we assume that the other reviews are right and that the monsters suck big time? If so, you'd have thought Harry might have mentioned it.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:02 a.m. CST
If you're going to bitch, then at least get a grasp on the english language a little better. Tard..
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:02 a.m. CST
harry is the sort of knobend that finds it funny killing his own teammates in games, as if there isnt a worse group of morons alive, and when you see a positive review remember he also gave the same to armageddon
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST
AvP was dumb as hell AND boring! Or 13 Ghosts, XXX 2, House of The Dead.. But Doom looks like pure fun.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:07 a.m. CST
Harry, high five!
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:11 a.m. CST
Own, I said!
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:22 a.m. CST
Exactly how I felt about the movie.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST
I'll rent this when it is out for Christmas. But, I think the FPS pov is silly in a movie. If I want to battle monsters and play a marine; I'll Doom 3, Half-Life 2 or Battlefield 2.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:25 a.m. CST
This is the exact perspective people need to be looking at it from, Not every film has to be Citizen Kane, The Empire Strikes Back or even Lord Of The Rings. Movies should be about FUN sometimes not ART.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:52 a.m. CST
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST
by Nate Champion
This is the kind of movie people see when they have no life.
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST
Krull Megaforce Reign of Fire Monster Squad
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:22 p.m. CST
I'm surprised how much they copied DOOMIII. They were very faithful in that respect. Usually a video game movie takes the liberty of making a few changes.
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST
..it's painful to see. Please stop mistaking the original Doom for Doom 3. When your a gamer like me, it's just offensive. I can only imagine that the equivilent for you would be me reviewing the game version of the new King Kong film and mistaking it for the game version of the original Kong. No, Harry. No! So here it is for you to remember: The Doom movie is based on the game Doom 3, which is a reimagining of the original Doom. So when you talk about their being no characters in the game, yes there are Harry. Also, on a side note you also failed to tell us the one important thing that ALL the reviewers have left out so far: ARE THE MONSTERS DEMONS FROM HELL??? IS HELL IN IT??
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:46 p.m. CST
It rented it, briefly, up until Padme simply lost the will to live and Darth Vader screamed, "Nooooooooo!" at which point its lease expired.
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:53 p.m. CST
by Childe Roland
I really do. In fact, based on this review (which I think is one of your most remarkably lucid and well-written ever, a boggling thought when you consider how the whole point of it is to get us to leave our brains at home) I fully intend to spend a hung over Sunday afternoon with this movie (assuming I ever get one of those again...stoopid parenthood!). But what I don't get is how you can dig on this movie so much, which is clearly a mindless shoot-em-up fun fest that deviates substantially from the source material, and yet you hated so hard on Resident Evil. I mean, it's the same thing. Take everything you wrote up there about engaging in the mindless joy of vicariously slaughtering the former humans in this movie and just insert "Resident Evil" instead of "Doom." I'm not saying Resident Evil was particularly compelling cinema (it wasn't) but it certainly met all the criteria you outlined above for enjoying a brainless gunfuck monster fest. Plus it had a Milla Jovovich snatch shot to boot! What gives with the double standard?
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:55 p.m. CST
I'm sure I'd lose the will to live if I saw this crapfest film.
Oct. 19, 2005, 12:58 p.m. CST
If they made it right. Which they wouldn't.
Oct. 19, 2005, 1 p.m. CST
It's STILL mindless crap. I'm not saying every film has to be some metaphysical Bergmanesque character study (and let's face it, the source material here never exactly plumbed the intellectual depths), but ya gotta have at least a little substance to work with, in my view, and this just sounds like 100% blood 'n guts eye-candy. So what if it is well put-together?The best cotton candy in the world still makes a lousy meal. Uninterested.
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST
"If I want to see people stop in mid-air I'll pause my DVD player". This is revolutionary
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST
Still the greatest game ever made (in my opinion, of course), but based on the current track record of game-to-movie adaptations, a movie based on it would most likely be terrible. At least with, say, Tomb Raider or Doom, there wasn't much of a story to begin with, but I can't imagine them doing Deus Ex without turning it into a dumb action movie (because that's apparently what Hollywood thinks computer games all are).
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST
It's always bothered me how movies set in the future have weapons WEAKER than what's available right now. Shouldn't everybody have rail-guns at least?
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:33 p.m. CST
If demons/mutants/whatever are overrunning Mars, then just stop going there. If teleportation technology is available, then just fax those suckers a neutron bomb ("Package for Mr. Bugs Bunny!"), or e-mail them into the sun. If the hallways are all dark as heck, then just wait while somebody goes back to get some flashlights. If The Rock if the best stategist available, then call in sick.
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:38 p.m. CST
You guys deserve some kind of award for those posts... I think I lost a promotion because I laughed so hard. Oh, and we need a new Predator movie, a good one!!
Oct. 19, 2005, 1:46 p.m. CST
Ahhhh memories. We used to head over to the SMurF to get our network Doom on before they cracked down on game playing. Good times.
Oct. 19, 2005, 2:13 p.m. CST
by Thirteen 13
Sorry. Meant to say Doom (even though its not Doom). I may rent it from netflix a year from now if I'm bored. I don't mind good mindless fun. As long as its actually "good" mindless fun, and. as long as the mindless fun resembles what the movie is supposed to be about.
Oct. 19, 2005, 2:21 p.m. CST
You liked to sit in the computer lab and watch everyone else play Doom. We had a kid like that on our floor my Freshman year in '94. All the CompSci majors had their computers in a hack network playing multi-player Doom for the first time. And I saw this one kid running up and down the hall, running from room to room watching the action. Cheering on one guy, then another. I bet that kid, wherever he is, is loving this movie.
Oct. 19, 2005, 2:23 p.m. CST
I will never see this piece of shit.
Oct. 19, 2005, 2:43 p.m. CST
It looks so good, so tasty, to nourishing. That slick design on the cover, the promise of aliens, predators, more aliens. But I just know if I got it home I'd only end up barfing the contents into the toilet seat a few minutes after consumption.
Oct. 19, 2005, 2:58 p.m. CST
by Childe Roland
...you'd puke while eating. And even the puke, because it would be mixed with whatever else was in your stomach, would taste better than the meal.
Oct. 19, 2005, 3:09 p.m. CST
by Roger Thornhill
...to be both worse than Alien Resurrection and Predator 2. Much worse than both of those.
Oct. 19, 2005, 3:11 p.m. CST
Sounds like a bit of a stretch, if you ask me. So this is an excuse to indulge the basest of human instincts to kill shit and "hunt for pussy"? Gee, sounds great. Let's celebrate violence and misogyny for its own sake and call it entertainment! Just goes to show the level of critical discourse here. No wonder these guys didn't like Serenity.
Oct. 19, 2005, 3:18 p.m. CST
Sheesh. Harry didn't say this was a great film He didn't say anything that most of us ween't expecting. It comes down to the intent behind a film, and the intention of this film is to make a movie of a video game. Games are meant to be fun, ergo... this should be fun too? Was anyone really expecting Citizen Kane? Or even Aliens? Harry's being nothing but honest about his reaction to a film, just like he always is.
Oct. 19, 2005, 4:35 p.m. CST
... I'm not paying theater price to go watch it. Sounds like a good NetFlix rental for a Friday night with friends, though.
Oct. 19, 2005, 4:57 p.m. CST
I saw the trailer of this movie before Serenity. The theatre full of teenage nerds and older is THE audience the DOOM movie was made for. Nerdy teeneagers who like videogames and science fiction and nerd stuff. When the trailer started they all knew what it would be for and started chanting, "DOOOOM! DOOOOOM!!" Then the horible looking FPS scenes came up and the entire theatre went from chanting to falt out laughter. My girlfriend leaned over and said to me, "That can't be good if they're laughing can it?" No. No it can't. Doom is crap and it is going to suck hard. The teenage audiance with ANY common sense or taste is going to laugh just like the people in the theatre that day. Sorry, but simply ignoring everyhting bad because you think it was a "fun" movie is like recommending getting kicked in the balls because you had fun acting like a moron.
Oct. 19, 2005, 5:12 p.m. CST
Harry Knowles for Doom!!!!
Oct. 19, 2005, 5:25 p.m. CST
by Ted Striker
And so, that's when I learned that Harry has a love affair with certain trash movies. I've been cautious about his reviews ever since, but at least he points out what kind of crap-movie it is, like in this review. I'm not going to see Doom, or rent it, because I hate crap-movies, even when I'm expecting them to be crap. But that's just me. Rock on, Harry.
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:43 p.m. CST
Buy Shadow of Colossus for the Playstation2. One of the greatest video games ever made. A true work of art. DOOM movie? Shadow of Colossus Movie!
Oct. 19, 2005, 7:46 p.m. CST
You watch and see. I recommend before this tragedy befalls the video game and film world that y'all love that all you geeks take a stand, and lynch that fucking brit! Do the same with the Nazi Uwe, have'em swaying side by side in the wind. Then the Jews can finally crucify JesusChrist and put a sign over the cross that says "Episode III owned his ass!" AVP was shit. Make it the way it should be, and give me an inter-fucking-galactic war! Not a bunch of fellow brits running about a subterranean pyramid with three or four other critters. "We're in the middle of a war." If thats the case, SHOW ME A FUCKING WAR! Not flashbacks and roided up xeno-predators with hard-ons for black chicks.
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:13 p.m. CST
for some strange reason, i couldn't stand playing Doom or any other FPS game more than 5 minutes... after a while i started to get dizzy and nauseous (sp?)
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:13 p.m. CST
by Riff Randall
Harry, what's the news on that? Is it happening???
Oct. 19, 2005, 8:27 p.m. CST
Watch it or download it here - http://www.fi-sci.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=392&Itemid=44
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:22 p.m. CST
Predator is the only movie I have watched over 10 times. Simple premise....simple actors...no hokey romance or comedic sidekick.....just plain ol' pull your cock out and sword fight. Time to let ol' painless out of the bag. Just plain f'in money.
Oct. 19, 2005, 9:41 p.m. CST
"You are HUGE! That means you have HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS!" SHEER. UTTER. BRILLIANCE.
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:37 p.m. CST
i'm truly shocked to see a positive review posted of this movie - especially after those totally unbiased objective [studio written] reviews that were posted earlier by the same person. Crazy! Anyway. The movie is supposed to be and has been sold as the adaptation of Doom 3. Not somebody's dicking around in a computer gaming center. But i guess you can apply whatever meaning you want to anything, right? Doesn't mean i wanna see it. so count me out. this movie is shit, and i don't care how 'fun' somebody else tries to convince me it is. Just like i don't care how good some fat troll girl talks about herself to try and make herself attractive to me. you're not fooling me. That is some awful awful shit and i will not be patronizing it.
Oct. 19, 2005, 10:55 p.m. CST
Played the demo last night, and gotta say I got frustrated with the controls and quit, for someone that games as much as me thats saying something. I want to like this game, because its unlike anything I've ever seen, Orionsangels was right this will be a work of art. I'm gonna have to take another stab at it, but, I won't be picking it up till after Christmas, because noone will give this game a chance, and it will be in the bargain bin before you know it. Plus, I'll be to tyed up with Star Wars Battlefront II. Jesuschrist, Star Wars Episode III will NOT own my ass, but this game will.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:04 p.m. CST
It might be a fun thing to chuckle at with a buddy. BTW Duke Nukem owns! My favorite mission is the one where you get to squish the T-200 in the press and say "Terminated". Not to mention the introduction of proximity mines, pipe bombs, and peepshow booths.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:35 p.m. CST
I do believe that it's "retarded doofii," Harry.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:49 p.m. CST
I just learned that Spike TV has signed a deal to be the exclusive network for the Star Wars saga starting in 2008. You know what's sad about this? I got the info from 1wrestling.com. Way to go AICN, out-scooped by a wrestling site. That's gotta hurt.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:53 p.m. CST
by Lenny Nero
Yeah, I'm an idiot.
Oct. 19, 2005, 11:56 p.m. CST
by Lenny Nero
So not all Dwayne Johnson's movies got two thumbs down. Jeez.
Oct. 20, 2005, 2:17 a.m. CST
Oct. 20, 2005, 3:15 a.m. CST
That comic is fucking INSANE.
Oct. 20, 2005, 3:23 a.m. CST
...the film is based on Doom 3 and not the classic varieties. Having never played 3, I can't tell whether it's an accurate depiction or not. I'll probably check it on DVD eventually, being a former Doomhead, but I really would have preferred an adaptation of the original game. One of the great aspects of Doom and Doom 2, was that it was so over-the-top and outrageous for its time. The only way to capture that Doom feeling in a film would have been to go all out, with zero plot, demonic iconography, mind-frying day-glo colors and absolute fucking wall-to-wall carnage. If nothing else, that would have made the film a bit more easy to distinguish from the other hordes of Aliens/Resident Evil clones.
Oct. 20, 2005, 3:29 a.m. CST
For those who never read this one-off oddity. Enjoy: http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php
Oct. 20, 2005, 3:45 a.m. CST
No, you're not.
Oct. 20, 2005, 5:20 a.m. CST
by Lone Fox
Oct. 20, 2005, 9:12 a.m. CST
i liked the st paragraphs about the univ of texas geek boudouir above the coffee house but the rest was all over the place man
Oct. 20, 2005, 9:29 a.m. CST
Grand Theft Auto. nuff said..
Oct. 20, 2005, 9:47 a.m. CST
"Actually the audience gave the film a good amount of applause afterwards. Quint liked it, Kraken Liked it, FatherGeek liked it." That kills me. That's the second time in 3 or 4 days that I've seen Harry use the ol' "Well, everyone else liked it" defense. You keep on keepin' on, Harry. Fucking priceless.
Oct. 20, 2005, 10:14 a.m. CST
I didn't think so.
Oct. 20, 2005, 10:33 a.m. CST
Oct. 20, 2005, 12:59 p.m. CST
I work in the entertaiment business. I was there was both DOOM and Duke Nukem were being developed.. In the actually Offices at id and 3D Realms.... Doom was a nifty game, but it's multiplayer sucked ass compared to Duke Nukem. No hidden cameras to view, no pipe bombs, no remote taunts.. DOOM was clearly inferior as a game to Duke Nukem and for you to say otherwise shows me what a complete lack of education you have about the two games. This movie is gonna suck farts out of dead walrus's.. They've been trying to sell the movie rights for TEN FUCKING YEARS.. That should say something about teh caliber of this film, and gamers have moved way beyond the "find red key, open door, shooot monster in the dark" plot aspects of DOOM.
Oct. 20, 2005, 1:30 p.m. CST
Except I won't be wasting my bandwith to download something as simpleton and pedestrian as this.
Oct. 20, 2005, 2:14 p.m. CST
Why does it have to be the biggest friggin cliche ever used in film. Scientists trying to play god with humans/animals/vegetables... yada yada yada. Why the hell couldn't they stick with something at least VAGUELY original. Said scientists are trying to help speed interstellar colonization in an effort to help the Human race as it's core colonized planets have depleted their resources, and are trying to open a gateway (ala Lost in Space) between worlds... but the energys they use are laregly untested under such a massive scale, and accidentally rip open a portal to a 'Hell-like' dimension. ------- It's really close to the game, and just enough to keep the Bible Thumpers from going rabid. This whole bullshit 'infected by the infected' storyline is just asinine, and denys characters the oportunity to die in a way that DOESN'T suck moldy mule sphincter. I mean SERIOUSLY?!?! Which would you rather see? Rock going down fighting a seemingly endless wave of Demons as His commanding Officer closes the gate (with Rock on the other side of the gate when it closes), leaving him stranded with the BFG just going bat-shit crazy foaming at the mouth insane with berzerker rage? Or Rock turning into a bad mutant and going Mano-a-mano against his CO, who has mutated into a good mutant? Seriously... my idea is WAY better than their end result, leads to a potential sequal of the Rock being found later by a rescue team (only time is different there in Hell-like dimension, and he's been hunting them for years), and doesn't leave you walking out of the theater tasting metal!!
Oct. 20, 2005, 3:58 p.m. CST
Then I'm sorry but you need to check the backroom of your local video retailer for your fix.
Oct. 20, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST
by Neo Zeed
Romeo must die? Cradle 2 grave? Both those movies were weak ass and put me to sleep. I can't believe this movie has the wacky charm of a "Commando." Every other filmaker's resume gets judged on this site, yet this dude gets a pass. More spin control. WTF! P.S. Where the fuck is Paul Verhoven were you need him? Hollow Man sucked so he's in exile? huh?
Oct. 20, 2005, 6:18 p.m. CST
I have come to that realization a tad late and a few hundred bucks short wasted on admissions and concessions with the wifey. How many more of this types of movies will he put his stamp on. 4 years ago I can recall coming to AICN with a joy of finding something new and exciting to look forward to. Now, through the growth of the site (and I aint mad at you harry for that well done) we get crap reviews, soft critiques and lame excuess. Will I watch this? Sure, will I plunk down the $9 and some change + the gawddamn nachos... no. Do I think the Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson blows all chunks as an actor... no. I havent click on a Harry review in a loooonnnnng time, and I dont see myself clicking on one anytime soon... :(
Oct. 20, 2005, 10:20 p.m. CST
Oct. 21, 2005, 12:10 a.m. CST
HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE KILLZONE? *Slams head against table*
Oct. 21, 2005, 10:54 a.m. CST
If it sucks, you owe me six bucks Harry. If it blows, a apology will do. By the way, did anyone see The Rock on The Daily Show? Funny shit.
Oct. 21, 2005, 1:23 p.m. CST
Im laughing my ass off reading this review, I cant wait to go see this movie!!!! 8-D
Oct. 21, 2005, 7:25 p.m. CST
Yes, this film sucks and blows at the same time, which is physically impossible, yet it somehow manages to do just that. It wasn't fun, and that long description over The Rocks reaction to the B.F.G. is waaaaay overblown. Seriousley, Harry you need to pick up a controller, you wouldn't believe the stuff you've been missing. You want to see some monsters fucked up? Go get ya a X-box. You want twenty to forty hour, story driven games that make Hollywoods efforts look like dogshit? Go get ya a PS2. You better catch up, because when it comes to sci-fi, games are gonna be at the point where movies don't even compare. Hell, when it comes to Metal Gear, and Final Fantasy, some would say that time has already arrived. Also, it's a good thing Rock has two flicks already in the bag, because this turd coulda ended his career. I'm not a hater, I liked Walking Tall (They coulda gave more screen time to Neil McWhatshisface? though.) but this movie....damn. Doom makes those shitty Resident Evil travesties look like fuckin' masterpieces!
Oct. 21, 2005, 7:46 p.m. CST
Did they really need to go back to the lobby every other scene? Damn, they musta blew all there budget on that embarassing first person sequence, cause there sure as hell wasn't that many sets. Oh, and one more thing,FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AND HOLY, CAN WE PLEASE LEAVE THE WIRE-FU TO ASIANS, THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN PULL IT OFF WITHOUT IT LOOKING LIKE COMPLETE AND TOTAL DOGSHIT!!! NUFF SAID! NUFF SAID!
Oct. 21, 2005, 8:46 p.m. CST
If this movie is set in the future, why is that guy, so into that sub-tiger-handheld-piece-of-shit with it's seventies bleeps and bloops. Shouldn't they he be playin a PSP or somethin more advanced???? You might say I'm nitpicking, but this IS supposed to be a videogame movie for crying out loud!!!
Oct. 21, 2005, 8:49 p.m. CST
it being 2005, shouldn't this site have a edit option? DAMN TYPO's! >_<
Oct. 21, 2005, 10:50 p.m. CST
by The Pusher
Tell me I'm wrong. All the AOL logos all over the damn place. The vague similarity to the Resident Evil film's virus. Karl Urban saving the earth from The Rock's stupid ass. It's a huge ad for AOL!
Oct. 21, 2005, 11 p.m. CST
by The Pusher
Oct. 22, 2005, 4 p.m. CST
I am sorry, but that movie was exhausting. Not going to give away spoilers, just going to say that THEY CUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE IN CLOSE UP!!! WTF? Sure it works in parts, and I will admit that I missed the BFG scene cause I had to piss (which I've only done once before, that being for ROTK right at the entire during ending number 4 or so while Frodo is about to get on the boat; the large iced tea just caught up with me) but there are periods of tens of minutes at a time when nothing is happening, it isn't building suspense, it's pissing off the audience with all of the teasing with things hiding in shadows instead of going around and killing those fucks. Before seeing it for myself, I thought that the review was very well structured and that Harry made his point quite level handed. Meanwhile in the movie there is so freakin little action and so many bloody false scares that it just becomes...ugh. I can't say more, in fact perhaps I've said too much. I've waisted enough bandwidth for this flick as is (kidding, I actually spent my 8.50 plus 4.50 drink, which is why I am left so unsatisfied).
Oct. 22, 2005, 4:15 p.m. CST
I mean think about it. It's the future right, and what are they going to be playing? Uber realistic racing/FPS games? They're living an FPS. Plus, all the graphics whores have had their way and run their course. As such, he plays for the gameplay value, which is what plenty of gamers have been griping about over the past 5-10 years or so (that games haven't been getting better, only prettier, which is certainly true in many respects to the current generation of consoles).
Oct. 23, 2005, 5:13 p.m. CST
*Applauds* You love a lousy film that clearly was borrowing elements from "ALIENS", was loud, repetative, cheesy, and dumb, and the end fight scene was laugh-out-loud, unbelievably corny. I'd hate to say it but I think the best videogame film adaptation to film is and still will be the first "MORTAL KOMBAT." This is a close second, but damn is it far from perfect. The only thing that saves it is the first person shooter mode scene, The Rock, and Karl Urban. The rest of it feels like Uwe Boll had some producer's credit on it. But of course you loved "VAN HELSING" so what should I expect anymore with reviews?
Oct. 23, 2005, 7:38 p.m. CST
Oct. 25, 2005, 2:22 a.m. CST
by geek molester
I can't understand how any person could give this movie a postive review. I thought we were supposed to hate this trash, don't you want more outta your 10 bucks than this crap??? God, this movie wasn't stupid, it had fuckin down syndrome! Harry you musta been high?
Oct. 27, 2005, 1:29 a.m. CST
_Ringbearer9_ ===> I recall CATACOMB ABYSS along a similar isotope of enjoy'osity. und would also add The Sega Saturn's LUNACY to that list of lesser known, atmospherically engaging and engulfing games. Post Script: The former Pong The Movie reference is not meant to imply _sarcastic_ promotion of the latter games. I was legitimately fond of both Catacomb Abyss and Lunacy. Lunacy, I went so far as to write a letter to Atlas in an attempt at prodding them into developing followups. Though in retrospect I may not have chosen the best approach, as IIRC I opened with "Hey Fukwads". A.G
Oct. 27, 2005, 11:34 a.m. CST
Yes Shadow of the Colossus NEEDS to be made into a film. It's one of the the best looking, best sounding stories ever told, in games or anything else, and out epics Lord of the Rings. A true work of art...reeead; http://www.tpsreport.co.uk/news/fullnews.php?id=158
Oct. 27, 2005, 9:24 p.m. CST
The entire game is basically boss fights that interrupt the twenty to thirty minutes it takes to travel the lands between them. It's a great game, but as a movie, IT WOULD BLOW. And the "It out epics Lord of the Rings" line is horseshit. Which is suprisingly something you never see in this game given all the screen time your trusty steed gets.
Oct. 27, 2005, 9:25 p.m. CST
Nov. 1, 2005, 6:17 p.m. CST
by The Kurgon
Guys, you should check out this reveiw of Doom....these guys are on the money I think. http://tinyurl.com/dnlox
Nov. 17, 2005, 3:23 p.m. CST
Is DOOM III any good? Ain't played it yet...
Dec. 1, 2005, 11:18 p.m. CST
Dec. 2, 2005, 11:23 p.m. CST
Dec. 11, 2005, 1:58 a.m. CST
Doom sucked my asshole so hard, it got its retainer stuck in there for a whole day.
Feb. 11, 2006, 11:11 p.m. CST
I know its a little late, but for anybody reading this review (if i can save one person it will all be worth it) don't watch this garbage at any cost. I have no idea what the fuck Harry or anybody else claiming to like this heaping pile of dog shit. It like a real bad Sci-fi Predator rip-off, one that they might shelf...The Rock god save us should have stayed a wrestler, the visual imagary is bland and boring, the acting reministant of a bad high school drama, the monster almost non-exist, i dreamed of making a movie of doom ever since the game came-i mean for years--even tried once in like the 5th grade and if you are unsure of if you should see doom email me i might show it to ya-because it has more imagination than this--- if didn't have such a big budget and starry(i guess) cast it would scream for a mystery science thetre 3000 make over
Feb. 11, 2006, 11:16 p.m. CST
I know its a little late, but for anybody reading this review (if i can save one person it will all be worth it) don't watch this garbage at any cost. I have no idea what the fuck Harry or anybody else claiming to like this heaping pile of dog shit is talking about. Its like a real bad made for Sci-fi channel Predator rip-off, one that they might shelf...The Rock god save us should have stayed a wrestler, the visual imagary is bland and boring, the acting reministant of a bad high school drama, the monster almost non-exist, i dreamed of making a movie of doom ever since the game came-i mean for years--even tried making it once in like the 5th grade and if you are unsure of if you should see doom email me i might show it to ya-because it has more imagination than this--- if it didn't have such a big budget and starry(i guess) cast it would scream for a mystery science thetre 3000 make over
July 19, 2006, 6:02 a.m. CST
Why would anyone see a movie that has a monsterface on the cover/poster and that is based on a fps-shootemup-videogame and that stars a former WWF'er (right?) and expect something artsy? This movie is pure fun, playing only to the inner child, and my inner child was flinging popcorn all over the place going "WOOHOO! That's it, kill those f**kers!" ...and, from a movie like this, what more could you possibly want?