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AICN COMICS REVIEWS! METAMORPHO! PUNISHER! CASTING COUCH: COBRA! AND MORE!!!
#21 | 10/05/05 | align=right> #4 |
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SHOWCASE PRESENTS: METAMORPHO Vol. 1 TPB
FELL #2
DC SPECIAL: THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY #4
MARVEL MONSTERS: DEVIL DINOSAUR #1
PLASTIC MAN #18
THE PUNISHER #26
BATMAN: GOTHAM COUNTY LINE #1
CHEAP SHOTS!
@$$HOLE CASTING COUCH: COBRA!
SHOWCASE PRESENTS: METAMORPHO Vol. 1 TPB
Writer: Bob Haney (with one story by Gardner Fox)
Artists: Ramona Fradon, Sal Trapani, Mike Sekowsky & others
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Dave Farabee
“EEEEEEK! It’s not Rex Mason…he’s some horrible freak!”
“Who did you expect, honey – Ringo Starr?”
-- Metamorpho risks making dated references as he wisecracks his way through freakhood
I was actually a little disappointed when I first hurled myself into this 500 page+ tome of adventures spotlighting one of DC’s weirdest heroes of the ‘60s. Culled from the pages of THE BRAVE & THE BOLD and the METAMORPHO solo title, the stories are certainly more tongue-in-cheek than DC’s standard Silver Age fare, evoking titles like PLASTIC MAN and CAPTAIN MARVEL. But where I’d hoped for a little of Marvel’s Silver Age depth, introspection and angst…nada! No, for a dude who looks like a mummy that’s had each limb dipped in a different kind of jelly, Metamorpho’s surprisingly well-adjusted and generic as a lead, and his adventures are all done-in-one novelty yarns. In other words, pretty standard DC Silver Age.
I did a bit more digging, though. Not the easiest thing in the world, ‘cause Silver Age stories are dense as uranium, but it was ultimately time well spent, turning up plenty of off-kilter appeal. And nothing jumped out quicker than the art, especially the work in the first half by Metamorpho co-creator Ramona Fradon. She’s one of the few lady artists of the era, and I can’t believe I never knew her work before now – she’s the bee’s knees! Quickest way to describe her stuff is as a meeting between the grotesques of Chester “Dick Tracy” Gould and the buoyant, clean-line art of seminal Batman artist Dick Sprang. Absolutely love the stuff, and would recommend the volume on its basis alone. Fradon’s art really suits the series’ light approach, and you’re gonna crack up when you see her hilarious rendition of Metamorpho’s alter ego, Rex Mason. Fradon gives him a perpetually smarmy, squinty grin – think a self-satisfied Robert Mitchum - and I kept hearing everything he said in the voice of Phil Hartman or FUTURAMA’s Zap Brannigan.
Rex Mason, we learn, is a “soldier of fortune,” that all-purpose Silver Age descriptor for explorers and adventurers. He works for the wealthy, egotistical, brilliant scientist Simon Stagg, another great Fradon design with his Gandalf eyebrows and white hair curled up almost into devil horns on each side. Stagg’s daughter is the beautiful Sapphire – think Paris Hilton – and much to papa’s chagrin, she’s all over that oafish Rex Mason. Stagg’s diabolical enough that he’s practically the villain in some of these stories, but ultimately he cares enough about protecting his daughter that he stops short of straight-up evil. Rounding out the cast is Java, a caveman discovered by Mason, resurrected by Stagg, and educated enough to act as a thuggish henchman and pine away for Sapphire in nearly every story. Yes, a caveman is a regular player in METAMORPHO. As supporting casts go, this one’s pretty novel, their interactions mirroring the kind of silly scheming you’d get in a THREE’S COMPANY episode. It’s important to the book’s appeal, because beyond Metamorpho’s powers, he’s not wildly exciting as a hero.
Long story short, Mason gains his elemental form from an Egyptian artifact he’s sent to recover by Stagg (with the intent that he not come back, mu-ha-ha-ha!). Best part about the origin issue is the hilarious dialogue from Rex as he preps for the mission. “A million?” he asks of Stagg’s offer for the job. “That’s a lot of bubble gum!” Hear it in Phil Hartman’s voice. Works wonders. And when Sapphire tries to convince him it’s too dangerous, Mason tells her:
“Baby, baby…that kind of loot I can’t turn down! It means I won’t have to work for your father anymore! We’ll both be free of his millions and his power-madness!”
What’s hysterical is that Stagg is drawn about three feet from Mason in that panel – no wonder the old bastard wants to off the swaggering Mason!
Once Mason gets his powers, the book’s formula establishes itself: As Metamorpho, he reluctantly continues to work for Stagg in return for Stagg finding a cure for his bizarre appearance. Metamorpho wants to be normal so he can marry Sapphire, even though she actually loves him the way he is. And poor Java, more sad sack than villain, constantly schemes to bring that lovin’ his way. In the space of about two panels, Metamorpho makes the standard hero’s decision to use his powers for good while he awaits a cure, and from then on, it’s one wacked-out supervillain after another. The tone throughout is adventure/comedy and hipster undertones, the hipster stuff being alternately funny-as-hell and kind of painful. Lots of ’60s go-go slang and pop references, a bit like Stan Lee’s oeuvre, but without the pulp Shakespearian gravitas to ground it.
One of the interesting things about these old Metamorpho yarns is that the writers are constantly, constantly putting his powers to innovative use. His powers give him invulnerability and the same kind of morphing abilities as Plastic Man, but more importantly he can convert his body into any element (or combination thereof) in existence. So he’ll turn into a bone-dense calcium ladder for Sapphire to crawl across, combo-up into gunpowder to blow apart a robot-controlled tank, turn his hands into solidified carbon dioxide (dry ice!) to chill some champagne, or dodge a raging bull by rising up on giant copper spring legs. That he tells us what he’s doing every damn time is a clunky Silver Age conceit, but you’ve got to give it up for the sheer imagination. What few modern stories I’ve read with Metamorpho practically serve him up as a second-rate Plastic Man with only the occasional use of his element abilities, but you read these stories and you see just how powerful the character could really be. You also get to thinking, “Someone put this book into the hands of high school chemistry students - it actually has some fun with the topic!”
A few favorite stories and moments:
*“Terror from the Telstar”, in which Stagg saves a flash-frozen Metamorpho by crushing his body in a compressor (“When a substance is compressed, its molecules are forced together and lose speed, thus giving off their excess kinetic energy in the form of – intense heat!”). Strange! Educational!
*”Who Stole the USA?” for its brilliant line, “Any red-blooded American boy, who’s been changed into a chemical freak, could have done it!”
*”The Awesome Escapades of the Abominable Playboy” for its sheer number of awful Latino stereotypes, as Sapphire tries to make Metamorpho jealous by courting a playboy named Cha-Cha Chavez. From mariachis to bullfights to South American revolutions, you just can’t make this kind of stuff up! (“Look! It is the Hombre Elemento! We have no quarrel with you, El Metamorpho!”) Incidentally, the French and Italians don’t make out so hot in this collection either…
*“Attack of the Atomic Avenger” in which Metamorpho literally transforms into an atomic bomb.
*“Will the Real Metamorpho Please Stand Up?” which pits Rex versus another element man in a chemical battle filled with wild shape-changing, chemical transformations and counter-transformations: “Okay, buster, right back at you with a barium change – which decomposes the water!”
*“The Sinister Snares of Stingaree!”, one of the few stories to shake up the book’s status quo with its introduction of Element Woman. SANDMAN readers might remember that Neil Gaiman brought this character’s life to a tragic end, but here she’s primarily a rival for Metamorpho’s affections, trumping Sapphire’s ditziness with secret agent smarts and the ability to adventure alongside Metamorpho. “Ooze, baby…OOZE!” Metamorpho instructs his novice partner, and indeed, there’s something weirdly intimate about all the gaseous intermingling of the pair. She recurs throughout the latter half of the book, where we lose Fradon as artist, but Sal Trapani steps up to the plate admirably.
*“Last Mile For An Element Man!” is my final pick, notable for its unsettlingly textured art from one-time guest artist Jack Sparling (think “EC Horror”) and an appearance by the “first” element man, a 200-year-old Roman soldier who found only tragedy in his element powers. It’s a rare Metamorpho story with some weight to it, both from the art and the surprisingly serious ending. I don’t follow JSA these days, but presumably this character was the inspiration for the Metamorpho-type enforcers I’ve glimpsed in that book’s flashbacks to ancient Egypt.
What you want to do with this book, and really, all reprint books like it, is pace yourself. Read a few issues a day or even a week. That way you can enjoy the humor, the madcap ideas, and the stunning art…without being overwhelmed by the hammy mad scientist and ex-Nazi villains, the groaner alliteration, and the repetitive formula of the plots. With that approach in mind, this baby gets an easy recommendation to connoisseurs of the unusual, Grant Morrison readers, fans of the DICK TRACY school of cartooning, and of course, chemistry teachers. I mean really, how can you resist a superhero who signs off one of his stories like this:
“Well, characters, so ends another regular, routine adventure in the life of the old Element Man! See you next issue! Meanwhile, luv ya, meatballs!”
FELL #2
Writer: Warren Ellis
Penciler: Ben Templesmith
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee
This... This I could use more of.
The second issue of Warren Ellis' little "compressionists" project is upon us and it's looking like this little adventure is on it's way to becoming a successful one. If you don't know by now, the premise behind this project is a simple one: 16 pages of story, short and direct, but very dense and intense material, and all for the measly price of $1.99. And quite frankly I'll go on record now as saying that most writers could only dream to tell the kind of stories Mr. Ellis is in just 16 pages if they had an entire twenty-four page book to work with.
So far we don't know much about our main character, one Detective Richard Fell, but we do know this: he's damn good at his job, and he has to be because his new territory is one fucked up place to live. The first issue saw Detective Fell in the midst of a murder mystery involving a wife killing her husband via an alcohol overdose to the man's weakened liver... and it was given to him thru the method of enema. This issue we are introduced to the subject of "Smoke Children." As Ellis tells us in the supplementary material at the back of the book, another little bonus to this book that makes it a wonderful read, "Smoke Children" are basically aborted fetuses, torn right out of the womb, and used as good luck talismans and evil wards and so on. In this issue the premise is simply that someone in the city is killing young pregnant women and taking their unborn babies. Fell is on the case and has to stop them. It's that simple. But what's amazing is how Ellis is able to just set this up, give us some background info on the subject matter, show Fell doing his job and showing just how damn good and original he is at it, and even giving us just a little taste of character development between him and one of the secondary characters, a young barmaid named Mayko. The writing/dialogue is very fresh and never seems forced. The pacing is quick but it doesn't feel like it's rushing you towards anything. The setting is very unique and feels just terribly dirty... you almost feel like taking a bath when you read this it's so soaked in that sort of ambiance. It's just a very well done book, and it happens to cost you two bucks. Fantastic.
And I have to say here, Ben Templesmith is the perfect artist for this book. Without him, this wouldn't be half the things I said it was earlier. The atmosphere he's able to portray in such limited space since most of the pages consist of nine-panel grids is very admirable. And one thing I have to give huge amounts of credit to him for is for not forgetting the backgrounds. Anymore when a book is predominantly talking-head it's easy to just pretty much have color in the background. But at least with FELL we get some detail in those backgrounds. Now, it's not always the case because the setting is sometimes just something bleak and unremarkable, but for the most part we're given something to take up the space. Random things on the wall, building faces, lighting effects... something to avoid each page being nine panels of some guys head. It might not mean much to most people, but I find myself appreciating his art on this book all the more because of it.
But yeah, all in all, I can't give this book enough hype. It's smart, it's deep, it's witty, it's dark and depressing but light-hearted all at the same time. And fuck it all, it's two bucks. Worth every penny.
DC SPECIAL: THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY #4 (of 4)
Writers: Phil Jimenez and Chuck Kim
Artists: Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and George Perez
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger
If there was a better-looking comic last week, then I didn't see it.
It really just doesn't get any better than the team of Garcia-Lopez and Perez. Wow. Because of the poor, overdone writing in this series, it was really up to the art to carry through any enthusiasm for this story. You know, one of my numerous complaints about that infamous first issue of the HOUSE OF M was the fact that the bad writing was unfortunately supported by even worse artwork. In the world of comics, it is much easier to forgive bad writing when it is supported by great artwork, but wretched artwork can render a well-written comic to the realm of the unreadable. Part of the reason is, quite simply, that in comic books, both the "writer" and the "artist" are telling the same story collaboratively, but the artwork is what carries the eye of the reader. A weak narrative or silly dialogue can be overlooked because of the artists contributing the visual side of the story. In the case of THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY, it would have been incomprehensible without the art team it was blessed with.
I reviewed the first issue originally and gave the writing a C+ versus an A+ for the artwork. By issue 4, the ratings stay the same. I had hopes that the series would pick up steam but it just didn't happen. In fact, issues 2 and 3? I know I bought 'em. I know I read 'em. I just can't remember 'em.
Here's the problem, and it relates to the big honkin' spoiler ending that I'll be revealing herein: This DC SPECIAL should've been one extra-length issue and that's that. By stretching this thing out over 4 issues, it necessitated a bunch of unnecessarily dense and complex expository dialogue and narrative. Basically, the writer had the story to tell of Donna regaining her memories and breaking from the Titans of Myth who were attempting to escape our universe because of the upcoming destruction of whatever's triggering the INFINITE CRISIS. In the course of that story, the writer wanted to team Donna back up with both the Teen Titans and the Outsiders and lay the foundation for Donna, who now remembers the Multiverse, as the Harbinger of the INFINITE CRISIS.
Jimenez did not need 4 issues to tell that.
In fact, in my opinion, the entire thing could've been jettisoned and replaced with that two-page spread that laid out Donna's unique existence as part of the INFINITE CRISIS series itself.
Which draws me back to the only thing that interested me about this comic: The revelation that Donna was the common factor among all the Earths in the multiverse. I smiled inside at seeing the blonde Hippolyta from Earth 1 again. I sat confused by the image of Wonder Woman saving baby Donna from the fire while the misplaced narrative box related that on Earth 2 she was saved by a fireman. I was kind of curious about the whole Earth 7/Dark Angel scenario. I remember buying most of the John Byrne run on WONDER WOMAN, but I think I cut out on that series when Dark Angel showed up, so I don't know how much of this was actually in Byrne's story or is original to Jimenez's story. Either way, as it stands now, the Donna Troy of Earth 7 was whisked away by the Anti-Monitor and transformed into Dark Angel - his perverted version of the Monitor's Harbinger. Which, once again, triggered my confusion. The two-page spread ends with a picture of Donna as Harbinger from the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS and the Donna narration says that she was Harbinger, but I don't get how that works. First of all, in all the incarnations of Donna, she's always got dark hair. Even here in this two page spread, the picture of Donna as Harbinger shows her with dark hair. But, Harbinger had blonde hair. Second, I thought the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS (or maybe it was HISTORY OF THE DC UNIVERSE) actually showed Lyla being rescued by the Monitor and she wasn't Donna Troy. So, if this comic was supposed to clear things up, I gotta confess to some lingering muddiness.
But, in the end, the point of this whole series was to set up the INFINITE CRISIS and, I guess it was successful in that…on the last page. As a sequel to the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, Donna kind of assumes the role of more than just Harbinger, but also the Monitor as she orbits the earth on New Cronus (similar to the Monitor and his satellite that was blown up in the original CRISIS) and …well…monitors things for a couple of seconds where she sees images of Krona and the Guardians, Superman, Trigon, the Titans, and some mohawked guy fighting a big lizard guy. Then she sees the future - the end of everything - and freaks.
End commercial for this week's INFINITE CRISIS.
This comic exemplifies my reservations about these INFINITE CRISIS lead-in miniseries. I thought COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS was a powerful kickstart to the whole thing as was the 10-years-later Titans story in the TEEN TITANS comic. Then the COUNTDOWN was followed by the DAY OF VENGEANCE, OMAC PROJECT, and VILLAINS UNITED. All of them went on too long. None of them should have been more than 3 or 4 issues long at the most. THE RETURN OF DONNA TROY was a one-issue special stretched and pulled into 4 issues. I'm beginning to be afraid that INFINITE CRISIS is also going to drag out too long; especially when I know that the end of that series is really just a kick-off for a bunch of year-long story arcs and new series like the "52" series. See, if they had published INFINITE CRISIS two months after COUNTDOWN, the enthusiasm level on my part, and I suspect many others as well, would have been much higher. As it stands now, sure, the end of RETURN OF DONNA TROY has me primed to read INFINITE CRISIS, but I'm harboring a real sense of dread - not so much about the series, but about all the infinite tie-ins and spin-offs. It smacks of marketing driven editorial and I just don't like being seen as nothing more than a pigeon-holed demographic group with a wallet full of money. Hopefully, the creative artists involved in the next stage of the INFINITE CRISIS can transcend my cynicism and knock my socks off with a worthy sequel to CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS. RETURN OF DONNA TROY, however, doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.
MARVEL MONSTERS: DEVIL DINOSAUR #1
Writers: Tom Sniegoski and Eric Powell
Art: Eric Powell
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
This MARVEL MONSTERS series of specials crept up on me. I had no idea that so many of my indie faves would be jetting over to Marvel to tell kooky tales utilizing Marvel’s long forgotten Giant Monster characters. This is a genre that has been untapped, and the company deserves a Kudo or a Fig Newton or something for dusting off these properties for a fresh audience. DEVIL DINOSAUR is the first of these properties to hit the shelves and I wish I could exude the same enthusiasm I felt after reading it that I had when I saw this book staring up at me from the shelf.
But alas, I can’t. And it really pains me to give this issue an unfavorable review.
Maybe it’s because co-writer and illustrator, Eric Powell, has knocked my socks off in every issue of his indie sensation, THE GOON, with fresh and off the wall humor that pushes the boundaries of good taste and tact. Reading that book makes me laugh until stuff jiggles each and every time I pick up the book. When I cracked open this issue, I expected the same brand of irreverence and wanton jack@$$ery. Eric Powell takes on the Hulk and Devil Dinosaur? Suh-weeet!!!!!!!!
Instead, I found the story be lacking in the ability to make me blurt out a muted “heh.” The humor in this book is very restrained – very uncertain of itself. There are instances when I could envision Powell and his collaborator Tom Sniegoski, bouncing off-the-wall humor back-handedly right into our collective baby-makers, but the creative team seems to stop short of the true and great funny every time. The humor isn’t groan inducing as much as it teeters to the edge of a guffaw, but is afraid to take the dive.
The story goes like this: The story opens with a war between two tribes of primitive man. The Killer Folk are trying to wipe the Small Folk from existence. And they have been quite successful until one of the Small Folk befriends a giant fiery red Tyrannosaurus-like Kirby-beast named Devil Dinosaur. Observing this battle for survival are two Celestials, wagering on the outcome. Unwilling to lose the bet, the Celestial who sides with the Killer Folk plucks the Hulk from the future to destroy Devil Dinosaur, allowing the Killer Folk to dominate the Small Folk as they should. At first, the Hulk makes short work of the big red monster, but soon after the Celestials continue to intervene, both green goliath and crimson beast are forced team up to take on their manipulators.
This story stars a giant red dinosaur with a monkey man riding him around like a bucking bronco. That’s good stuff. That image alone would make you think that Powell would be able to do something completely off the wall with his brand of GOON humor. But that’s not the case. The funniest thing in this issue involves the Hulk wearing a funny hat. To top it all off, the ending of this story is a riff off of EXPLORERS.
uhmmm-*heh*…?
I can’t really fault Powell for this. His brand of humor and irreverence isn’t really the right match with the PC/All Ages-friendly/Non-risk-taking Marvel. I guess it is too much to expect a foul mouthed Moonboy yelling “Giddy-the-fuck-up!” on the back of Devil Dinosaur as it chomps, devours, and shats out a caveman. Hell, Moonboy isn’t even used at all in this issue. If Marvel had allowed Powell to cut loose, there might be something really special here, but the final product I read is nothing like the Powell that made him the name he is today.
Now in the art department, Powell is at his best with this issue. His depictions of Devil Dinosaur, the Hulk, and the cavemen are iconic and silly, Kirby-esque yet firmly set in modern stylings, rendered in bold yet detailed lines. Powell really has come into his own and this issue shows how talented this guy really is. Had the art matched up with the story in this issue, I’d be hailing this book as the cure for gout and better than chopped cheese.
In the end, it seems Marvel was just too lame to let Powell cut loose. Given those restrictions, the resulting DEVIL DINOSAUR is simply “meh” inducing. Too bad. Maybe Marvel will one day grow a pair and really let Powell’s insanity run rampant in the Marvel U. Until then, this is a case of talent wasted.
PLASTIC MAN #18
Writer/Artist: Kyle Baker
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Dave Farabee
“I must go weep. Like a hero.”
“Boy, is he sad. That’s what it would really be like to be a superhero. Sad.”
- Plastic Man and best-bud Woozy Winks skewer DC’s latest trends
Who’d have guessed that the funniest, most concise criticism of DC’s INFINITE CRISIS would come from within DC’s own line? Ah, but with a book like PLASTIC MAN, multi-Eisner winner or no, it’s so far below most readers’ radar that it’s exactly the kind of vehicle for some laughs at the company’s own expense.
And there’s lots of ‘em!
I’d fallen behind on the book, but decided to jump back in with this latest issue ‘cause, hey, who can resist a cover of Woozy Winks dunkin’ Michael Jordan style, propelled upward by Plastic Man shoes? In interviews I’ve read with Baker he talks about how a big reason he ended up on this book is just to draw Plastic Man doing funny stuff – the whole visual humor angle. And it works. It’s actually really refreshing to see a cartoonist just cut loose with no obligation to reality or seriousness, especially when they’re as talented as Baker.
So we’re at the fourth issue in a story arc called “The Edwina Crisis,” Edwina being Plastic Man’s recently introduced, Gothy stepdaughter. Wasn’t at all up on the issues leading up to this one, but you know what? It didn’t matter. As the story begins, it’s clear that Baker’s spoofing all the grim ‘n’ grittay stuff with both Edwina and Plas’s ex, Morgan, seemingly killed at the hands of an angsty teen with electrical-based superpowers. Perpetual goofball Woozy Winks stumbles onto the scene, spills some water on the kid, and accidentally offs him with a short-circuit and an explosion. Woozy’s nonplussed as usual:
“I hope nobody saw me blow that kid’s head off. I always get blamed for stuff like that.”
Oh, and Plastic Man’s dead too. Or at least frozen and shattered into a pile of shards. But when Woody trips onto the stuff, a legion of smurf-sized Plastic Men arise from the pieces beneath Woozy’s gut! Explains one of them: “The heat radiated by your flab has countered the effects of the dry ice!” Awesomeness. And it leads to a brilliant bit of physical comedy as Plastic Man tries to rebuild himself by having all the little Plastic Men…err…consume each other. This is the kind of weirdness Baker lives for on this book, and his glee is infectious as one of the little men leaps into a mouth, screaming, “I die like a hero! Weeping!”
Meanwhile, a subplot follows the adventures of Edwina and Morgan in the afterlife, where indeed they’ve found a new role as…The Spectre! Except they’ve sort of got to share all the power and they can’t seem to come to an agreement on how to use it. Their test case is a mugger in an alley. Morgan starts controlling the guy’s knife, enlarging it to stab him, but Edwina intervenes:
Edwina: Big knife? Couldn’t you think of anything cooler than that?
Morgan: There is nothing cooler than JUSTICE!
(They argue a bit. Edwina tries something else)
Morgan: A giant spider? That doesn’t even make sense!
Edwina: Who needs sense? I wanna see a guy get eaten by a giant spider! That would be awesome!
Morgan: It’s supposed to fit the crime! If someone’s smuggling diamonds inside of teddy bears, you have the teddy bear come to life and maul him! A guy uses a knife, so you stab him!
Edwina: Big knife’s lame. Spider’s cool.
Absolutely one of the best Spectre sequences of all time. And adding visual humor to the whole thing is watching this poor schmuck of a crook tormented by all their ideas! If you’ve ever seen the classic Looney Toon where Bugs draws Daffy and puts him through Hell, you know what I’m talking about.
And that’s only about half of the book. There’s still Plas and Woozy infiltrating a mystical monastery to resurrect their dead friends (“Gone forever! Dead like Robin! Dead like Supergirl! Deceased like Superman! Hal Jordan! All gone!”) and taking on members of the League of Assassins.
What I say is this: even if you’ve never followed this book before and have no intention of following its last few issues…risk a few bucks and pick up this one issue. It’s funny as hell, has tons of great cartooning, and features the wondrous sight of a legion of miniature Plastic Men devouring each other.
This…this is cartooning!
THE PUNISHER #26
Writer: Garth Ennis
Penciler: Leandro Fernandez
Publisher: Marvel MAX
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee
If there's one thing Garth Ennis does best, it's write evil characters I instantly hate and wish to see die a horridly, painful death.
This issue brings us deeper into a story arc titled "The Slavers" and does an excellent job at getting us all riled up and building a good mad on at just those people referred to by the title. Last issue, good old psychotic vigilante extraordinaire and all around medieval badass, Frank Castle, happens upon a young girl who had been routinely abused physically/sexually in a sex slave ring over the past few years. Immediately, Frank is enraged at the sheer concept of this. Then in this issue, the girl goes into detail about her tortured past. And now Frank is even more pissed.
Seriously though, the issue is just so brutal and it has nothing to do with what Frank actually goes out and does to people. The words Ennis puts into the mouth of the young lady, Viorica, as she drones on in horrid detail about all of the atrocities visited upon her over the years by The Slavers do more than most images could hope to accomplish... but there are pictures too to drive some of those points home even further. Especially the sequence involving her son that came in the midst of all the rapes and tricks and god knows what else she endured throughout her life. You'll know it when you see it, and if it doesn't make you angry then you are probably just as dead inside as young Viorica.
But the book isn't all about just Viorica's story. Ennis properly pushes along a few other things, like getting us acquainted with the men behind this ring of filth, and pushing along the thought process of yet another Police Chief that thinks he can make it big by bringing down the Punisher by using an incident last issue with some officers as fuel to the anti-Punisher fire. Poor, dumb, bastard.
And, again, I have to push just how great the book looks. Leandro Fernandez is the point man again for this arc and he's marvelous. As always his detail is fantastic, which is especially important in this kind of issue since it's necessary for the facial expressions of the characters to help drive home all the emotions... the sadness and loss on Viorica's face as she tells her story, the quiet, un-abiding rage on Frank's, the glee in the Slaver Ringleader's face as he does his job, and so on. This is one of those joyous occasions where a good story is being told, and the art is matching it perfectly, making it all a complete and wonderful read. This is definitely shaping up to be one of the best stories to come out of Ennis' already stellar run since this book went MAX. Keep the bloodshed coming.
BATMAN: GOTHAM COUNTY LINE #1 (of 3)
Writer: Steve Niles
Artist: Scott Hampton
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
When people criticize the way someone writes an established icon, they often cite that the creator just doesn’t “get” the character. But this is a pretty vague term. Not getting a character can mean a myriad of things to a myriad of people. Just because a character hasn’t acted one way in the past, doesn’t mean that said character wouldn’t ever react that way. As I read through the first issue of BATMAN: GOTHAM COUNTY LINE, I said to myself, “Man, this just isn’t the way Batman would react to this” or “this isn’t something Batman would say in this situation.” It was at this point that I caught myself. Batman is a fictional character. Sure he’s as familiar to me as some of my own relatives. I read about him numerous times a month. I have my own views on the character of Batman and how he should be written. Often times, this does not match up with the way the writer portrays the character. So when I put down the book and thought about how I would review it, I forced myself to put all that aside and review the book in front of me, not how I thought the character should have been utilized.
The book in front of me was an interesting read. An intriguing mystery, wrapped in beautifully sketchy art by Scott Hampton, and filled with interesting twists and turns that one would want in a miniseries. The crimes in this book are harsh. The mystery grabbed me. The danger is real. I didn’t know what to expect from one page to the next. The pacing moved me along at a quick step and provided all sorts of scares. Storywise, this is a full course of a read, fulfilling by itself, yet teasing the reader to come back for the next issue. Writer Steve Niles delivers, on all counts, a mystery filled with chills and twists. One that will bring me back for issue two of this miniseries.
The thing is, though, I just didn’t feel like Niles “got” Batman.
Since I’ve already established this as a poor way of criticizing something, I’m forced to give some specific examples. And yes, this may delve into the realm of geek, but since this character is known the world throughout, there are certain aspects about the Batman that you just can’t get wrong and still expect it to be the Batman we all know and love.
Let’s take the first line Batman has in this issue: “You’re finished, Joker. Surrender now and live.”
Yeah, you read it right. A death threat from Batman to the Joker. The man who has sworn not to kill. The man who has fought back the urge to murder the Joker for years despite numerous vile acts. This man now throws out this type of threat in the very first page of this mini. Sure this is the throwaway fight scene that occurs at the beginning of every Batman story, but while doing this, the Batman shouldn’t betray his code of ethics, the very thing that makes the Batman…Batman (unless that’s what the focus of the entire story is, but it isn’t, so that doesn’t apply). So is this a hollow threat? Don’t think so. Batman doesn’t make hollow threats, especially to the Joker.
Flash forward a few pages. Batman meets Ex-Commissioner Gordon in his backyard in the middle of the night for info regarding a murder in the suburbs. After viewing photos of the murder scene that almost make the Batman flinch, Batman swings off, stating to Gordon: “Nice slippers.”
Uhm-hmm. Yep. A witty quip from the Batman. After seeing photos of a grisly murder. This isn’t Arnie in COMMANDO. This is Batman. A line like this may show up as a groaner in a BATMAN movie, but it just seems out of place in the comics. And even if Bats were to suddenly develop a sense of humor, I doubt it would be after he sees gruesome photos of four murdered families.
Later in the story, Batman is interrogating a junkie about a possible connection with the murders. Suddenly a laser site dot appears on his head and before Batman can get the bum out of the way, he’s blown away. Batman screams, “NOOO!” like a school girl with a skinned knee. Not the silent and strong hero I remember. A few pages later, another unexpected death forces another multi-O “NOOOO!” from our grim Dark Knight.
So, am I being nit-picky here? You bet your rosy red @$$. But it’s pretty hard to get the character of Batman wrong. It’s not like this is some obscure character like Night Thrasher or Ragman. Everyone knows who Batman is. Yet, time and time again, I see this type of misrepresentation of character happening. And I can only attribute it to one thing…one rule that I have seen broken so many times recently…one that people who write comics don’t often understand…
You’re working with established characters here, folks. Don’t mold the characters around your story. People will notice it and call you out on it. Mold the story around your characters. That is, you could tell the same story a million times and if you have a separate, established, and well rounded character in each, it’ll be different and interesting each and every time. Too many times I have seen characters like Batman or Spider-Man or Wolverine or whoever bent and twisted because the write has a story to tell and doesn’t care about the gabillion other stories that has happened before it and how their character acted in each of those.
Again, I’m getting into specifics with this review. Who’s to say a character should act one way over another? But there are certain truths that apply to the Batman mythos and I think a few of them were manipulated because the writer had a story to tell and didn’t care about bending those truths to tell it. I’ve been a huge fan of Steve Niles’ independent work. I love the Cal McDonald character and the 30 DAYS OF NIGHT stories, characters and stories Niles created himself. But if these creators who are used to writing their own creations are going to advance into the big leagues, they have to realize that there were stories before that established who these characters are, especially an icon like Batman.
BATMAN: GOTHAM COUNTY LINE #1 was a nice mystery filled with twists, surprises, and chills. But the guy running around with the cape and bat ears doesn’t sound like the Batman to me.
SUPERMAN/SHAZAM: FIRST THUNDER #2
So wait. We have the "first" encounter between Superman and Shazam, and there's no random case of mistaken identity, followed by a fist fight between the two, followed by a team up to take down the baddies? Doesn't Winick know how these things work?!? Apparently not, and thank god for that. - Humphrey
MARY JANE Vol. 2: HOMECOMING
I've talked up MARY JANE in the past, a series that manages to combine both the awkwardness and the giddiness of teen romance without ever getting too heavy. Think of it as ARCHIE without being dumbed-down...and with the occasional guest-appearance by Spider-Man. Or as an indie slice-of-lifer without the masturbation and drug stories…and with the occasional guest-appearance by Spider-Man. What popped for me about this digest collection, though, is the crisp, almost cardstock paper it's printed on. Isn't necessarily superior to the previous MARY JANE trade (which had glossy paper), but it's absolutely a step up from the RUNAWAYS digest paper, which is kind of pulpy and doesn't do the art any favors. MARY JANE gets it right, and Takeshi Miyazawa's art looks great on the crisp stuff. I think this guy's one of the best artists in Marvel's stable, and all you have to do is look at that dreamy, wistful expression he gives Mary Jane to know I'm right. Aww, see? Pick ‘er up as prelude to the ongoing MARY JANE book due in a few months. - Dave
BATMAN #645
Winick takes time this issue to give us some more detail on the unearthing of Jason Todd, specifically by examining the coffin they buried him. This is good. He also takes time to reiterate for the 40 thousandth time that Jason Todd was no Dick Grayson. This is tedious and bad. - Humphrey
OZ: THE MANGA #4
Our heroes finally meet the great and powerful Oz, and cartoonist David Hutchinson does strong work in living up to the scene from the original book. Each of the leads meets Oz separately in this case, and he appears alternately as a giant floating head, as a beautiful princess, as a really effed-up rhino-spider hybrid, and as a glowing ball of fire. The Wizard’s still a big ol’ fake, of course, but he liked to mix it up a bit in the original story. The big downside for the issue is that our first glimpse of the Emerald City is surprisingly blah, seemingly rendered hastily and with thick, harsh lines that belie the more intricate renderings we’ve seen of the Wicked Witch’s fortress or the Munchkin city. All told, though, I remain happy with the faithfulness of the translation. When this is collected, I suspect it’ll stand the test of time as one of the worthier Oz-inspired outings. - Dave
CATWOMAN #47
In this issue, Will Pfeifer reminds us just how stupid some old character creations can be by reintroducing "Hammer & Sickle" and gives us a genuinely badass Batman appearance. Worth it alone for the random laughs at the expense of lame characters. - Humphrey
FANTASTIC FOUR/IRON MAN: BIG IN JAPAN #1 (of 4)
This is the kind of book that feels like it was written more to showcase an artist than to tell a story. Which almost works with an artist as quirky as Seth Fisher, who's sort of a daft version of Geoff Darrow (picture a little Jim Woodring thrown in), but I still found myself zoning out toward the end. The story has the FF visiting Japan as guests of honor at the opening of a museum dedicated to Japan's history with giant monsters (loved the schoolgirl holding the sign, "JOHNNY STORM - KING OF SUPER HOT!"). Also present is Tony Stark, checking out business opportunities. I enjoyed the notion posed here and in some of Marvel's other retro-monster books appearing at the moment that there was a distinct "monster era" in Marvel's history, an era which ended with the rise of the superheroes - specifically the monster-stompin' Fantastic Four. Anyway, writer Zeb Wells isn't as "on" as he's been in NEW WARRIORS, so when monsters suddenly started stampeding, I kind of lost interest. Great, somewhat whimsical visuals, though, and I liked when the Japanese kid got saved by Iron Man, high-fived him, and said "Iron Man!" - Dave
DEFENDERS #3
Too... much... funny!! Can't... stop... laughing at... SHAZULK!! line... Also, the Hulk gets laid.... There's money well spent right there. - Humphrey
GOTHAM CENTRAL #36
You know what? Somehow this book survived the loss of artist Michael Lark. What's more, the new artist Kano is kicking as much ass as his MORTAL KOMBAT namesake. The high point of the issue for me was something that's supposed to be a bit of a no-no in GOTHAM CENTRAL: Batman as a device for plot resolution. You'd think it'd diminish the detectives, but this Batman is almost an elemental force and I got a real kick out of his scariness. I also liked that his assistance seems to've toned down the "shoot on sight" approach the cops had been giving him in the wake of the ill-considered "Wargames" crossover. I don't have a problem with Batman as outlaw, but it's hard to sustain that idea when he's so overtly helping the law. Of course, the book also has a satisfying resolution to the "Robin murders," and some good moments with detectives Romy and Marcus, but Batman steals the show (and rightfully so) in this case. - Dave
JLA CLASSIFIED #12
Ellis takes the time here to explain why so much shit has been blowing up the past couple issues and where the arc is going. Then there's a lot of posing and posturing done by the team as they try to look badass. Good, but not so much as the last issue or two. - Humphrey
SENTRY #1 (of 8)
Any ASTRO CITY readers out there? If so, brace for deja vu on reading SENTRY #1. Like the very first issue of ASTRO CITY starring Samaritan, it delivers a Superman analogue with the responsibility-factor cranked up to 11. And like Samaritan, Sentry even has a device that reports incoming world disasters to him, forcing him to think in terms of a superhuman triage: duking it out with some badguy jet fighters means four people burn to death in a Boston fire...but the jets get priority because more lives are at stake. And writer Paul Jenkins does a halfway decent job with these scenes, but the bad news is that Kurt Busiek did the concept perfectly ten years ago. SENTRY can't help but come across an also-ran as a result. And then there's the sense that the character's sheer uber-ness is being shoved down the reader's throat. In addition to handling scores (hundreds?) of emergencies in a day, we also see Sentry take out Galactus's herald Terrax without breaking a sweat ("Leave this planet. Now,” commands Sentry after breaking Terrax’s axe) and seemingly flying through the head(!) of Atlantean conqueror Attuma in mid-villain speech. It smacks of authorial egotism - "my superhero can beat up your superheroes." It also showcases why this character only merits a miniseries: he's simply too powerful for the kind of ongoing adventures we get at Marvel. Or maybe he's due a depowering? If not, the New Avengers are gonna end up even more obsolete than Bendis is already making ‘em. The best moments in the issue are the scenes between Sentry and his evil, imprisoned counterpart, The Void, which at least offer something new to the Superman formula. Nice art from Romita Jr., too. Too bad he ain't drawing a more compelling title. - Dave
JSA #78
Oh hey, look! It's Mordru again! Everybody roll your eyes as they make him a threat again for the fourteenth time! But I can't be too hard. At least this issue featured the characters doing more than standing aside and watching random non-team characters take over the book to remind us about "THE CRISIS!!!" And, y'know, it's actually kinda well written. - Humphrey
INCREDIBLE HULK #87
“Then the House of M went away…” I have to recommend this book for this line alone from the intro page. Once again, Peter David tries to work through the mess that other writers caused with this big HOUSE OF M “event” that will be forgotten right about the same time the next big event comes along. The aborigine storyline has been carried over. The book starts out with Banner waking up in bed with someone he vaguely remembers (I’ve had that experience a time or two). After some Hulking out, we’re informed that a mass hallucination/hysteria/amnesia has swept the world (I guess these are the after effects from HOM, but since that series is delayed, who the hell knows or cares?). David ends his run on this title strongly with Banner once again alone, as he should be. It’s too bad David wasn’t able to get into some more meaty storylines with the Hulk, but the ones he told in this most recent return to the title were memorable additions to the Hulk myth that David has been mostly responsible for (at least the latter half of it).One last thing. The two page splash of the Honda Civic placed directly after the Intro page was jarring. In fact, I was floored by the sheer amount of ads in this issue. I guess I just never took notice as to how many there were, but, not including the front and back covers, I counted 25 pages of ads. 25?!?!?! What is this, a comic book or an issue of MADEMOISELLE magazine?
THE OMAC PROJECT #6
Okay, yeah, there's some good character moments here, but come on. A fucking EMP? That's the best we can do? Great, so Batman's master plan to take down the OMACs consisted of a random shipping error and something he picked up from watching OCEAN’S 11 the other night on Encore. Master planner indeed. - Humphrey
Greetingssss, minionssss. Insssidiousss Bug here. Lasssst time on the @$$$$$$hole Cassssting Couch, we put together a casssst for that inept fighting force, the accursssed GI JOE. Thissss week, we casssst the ssssoon-to-be leaderssss of the free world, COBRA!!! Rumorssss have ssssurfaced sssuggesting that an actual GL JOE film issss in the workssss. Thissss sssseems to be the perfect opportunity to casssst the mosssst vile menagerie of villainssss the world hasss ever sssseen with a cassst of international evil-doing actorssss. Sssso line up in formation and sssscream, ALL HAIL MIGHTY COBRA!!!
*ahem*
Sorry, had a lisp there. But I think it’s all cleared up.
For those of you just joining us, the Casting Couch is a place where a fanboy can be a fanboy. One of my favorite things to talk about is who should play what comic book character if adapted to the big screen. And it seems like I’m not the only one. I know there are a lot of comic book movies are being made these days, but there are plenty more properties that deserve the silver screen treatment.
The Premise
Now more than ever, America needs to feel safe and protected from the thralls of tyranny. In these troubling times, when terrorism and anarchy lurk around every corner, a film about the best fighting force this great nation has to offer is not only needed, it’s necessary. A mere two weeks ago on the Casting Couch, we put together a roster of Joes to battle Cobra. Now it’s the bad guys’ turn. In casting this film, an international cast of character actors and scene chewers is needed to fill out the Cobra ranks. Special thanks to JMM’s GI JOE Comics Home Page for some of the images in this and the last Casting Couch.
Leading this cast of villains is Cobra Commander , the most ruthless criminal mastermind in the world. Cobra Commander’s face should never be shown in the film. It should be covered by his hood or his battle helmet, but I still think a major actor should play the part. Gary Oldman ( LOST IN SPACE, THE PROFESSIONAL ) has made a living playing over-the-top bad guys, but it’s all been leading up to this role. His villains convey power and weakness all at the same time. He would be perfect to lead the forces of tyranny and chaos.
Destro is one of the most powerful and deadly men alive. He’s the one who supplies COBRA with the deadliest of weaponry. I know, I know, he’s not an Irish actor, but keeping with the international flavor of the villains, I’d go with Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje , best known as Adibisi from OZ to flesh out this metal-faced madman. I promise that I chose this guy before he showed up on LOST last week, but the power in his performance there just sealed the deal for me. A man of this size sporting that silver mask would be truly ominous indeed.
One woman is conniving enough to manipulate the Cobra Commander and melt the cold steel heart of Destro. The Baroness shatters the myth that guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses. Juliette Lewis (NATURAL BORN KILLERS ) always plays off-kilter characters, but she’s always been a bit of a pixie. Then I found this photo. She’s all grown up and ready to WOW us as THE woman of COBRA! Yum, full body leather and guns.
To be the bodyguard of Cobra Commander, one of the most wanted men in the world, you have to be the absolute best. Storm Shadow is all of that and more. Snake-Eyes’ former friend and now arch-nemesis is a ninja master of every weapon and even deadlier unarmed. International martial arts sensation, Donnie Yen ( IRON MONKEY, BLADE II ) has the talent and abilities to bring this character to life. Imagine an extended silent martial arts extravaganza, reminiscent of the classic silent GI JOE #21 issue, between Donnie and Ray Park as Snake-Eyes. Classic!
Two parts snark, two parts untrustworthy prissy bitch. Sounds like the qualities needed to be a mercenary/field commander for COBRA. Major Bludd has all of these qualities and will sell you his services if you match his price. English actor, Richard Roxburgh showed us his slimy side in MOULIN ROUGE. In that role, he conveyed power, yet showed how much of a weasel he could be when backed into a corner. Major Bludd is the same kind of weasel.
Hurt one and the other feels it. Why waste money on split screen technology to bring the evil businessmen brothers, Tomax and Xamot to life, when real life brothers, Gary and Martin Kemp (THE KRAYS, THE BODYGUARD) can do the job? These guys were born to play these slimy brothers who take care of the business and legal end of COBRA keeping their operations out of reach of the law.
Before FIREFLY was a major sci-fi property, he was the baddest saboteur and terrorist around. No one knows the real name of the man in the camouflage ninja-suit, but everyone knows that they should fear him. This guy is ruthless and probably the most dangerous man alive. By knife, by gun, or by bomb, this guy will always get the job done and leave much destruction in his wake. When I saw Said Taghmaoui in THREE KINGS, I was scared shitless at how ruthless his character was. That’s the same kind of intensity I’d want to see in Firefly.
Master of disguise, leader of the Dreadnoks, and total badass. He’s Zartan and his action figure changed color in the sunlight. I don’t know what kind of radioactive chemicals went into that toy, but it as one of my favorite figures as a kid. Playing with that toy probably shaved a few years off the end of my life, but I didn’t care. Zartan was just plain cool. LORD OF THE RINGS actor, Sean Bean is cool too and I’m pretty sure he’s not radioactive, so he’d be a safe bet.
Pick three wrestlers, any wrestlers. I’m not big on grown men wrestling around with each other in tights (except maybe in comic books!) and don’t really keep up with who’s who in the WWF and the like these days. But going by looks alone, Brock Lesner, Sean O’Haire, and The Edge would do the trick in a pinch. All you need to be is big and look mean to play Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch . These wrestlers spend all day fighting and being nasty, which is exactly what the Dreadnoks do too. By chainsaw, by machete blade, or by flame-thrower, these guys would bring a little world wrestling mayhem to the most destructive biker gang out there.
So trem-…*ahem*…Sssso tremble in fear, loversss of peace and order. With a cassst of baddiessss like thissss, the Joessss don’t ssstand a chance. Asssss alwayssss, we invite you to agree, dissssagree, call ussss crazy, or form your own picksss in the Talkbackssss. Usssse your power of free sssspeech, minionssss, while you ssstill can. COBRAAAAA!!!
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NUMBER ONE
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Use start or something else to mix it up.
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HE CAN DO EVERYTHING!
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Oct 13, 2005 4:28:52 AM CDT
"when monsters suddenly started stampeding, I kind of lost inter
by kintar0
Maybe you should just stop reading comics?
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Seth Fisher is drawing two of the most stunning comics right now for DC. His "Time Flies" and "Will World" books were absolutely incredible. I say: if you don't like Fisher's art, then you don't like art.
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Oct 13, 2005 5:27:20 AM CDT
Yeah, whoever came up with the placement of that Honda Civic ad
by tall_boy
I flipped the page over. Twice, dammit!
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Jude Law! Jude Law would be a great shrieking, effeminte kook. Kudos on the Sean Bean casting, though. He was the best part of Flightplan.
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Couldn't have done better myself.
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Juliette Lewis doesn't do it for me.
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that she just doesn't do it for me either that is.
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was Arak; Son of Thunder. He was an American Indian who accidently ended up in Medeival Europe, fighting among the Vikings. Decent book for a Conan clone.
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Oct 13, 2005 8:38:50 AM CDT
Does anyone else wonder what color Metamorpho's johnson is?
by mrboinfoint
No? Just me? Okay. Gotta love them wacky 60's. At least he wasn't created by the magic cure-all of radiation poisoning.
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For a brief second I thought it was about Morph ... but alas, not to be.
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In an odd sort of way. Like the girl in high school that you were afraid to admit to your friends you were attracted to. http://photos1.blogger.com/img/173/3313/1024/Juliette-Lewis.jpg
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she's craaaaaaaaaaazy
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Oct 13, 2005 9:27:51 AM CDT
Dave's casting suggestions for Metamorpho area hundred time
by mortsleam
Seriously, dude, Juliette Lewis? She can't even speak english in her native accent, how the hell would she pull off the Baroness? You need actors that can actually act. Well, Gary Oldman is of course perfect, but then, he's perfect for everything. EVERYTHING!!!!
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While I agree with your assessment of the monster book (very "meh" excempting the amazing art and, for some reason, the "Hulk hate space!" line), "The Goon" lately has been very all ages. I've seen nothing in The Goon lately that couldn't be in a Marvel book, and the Goon still maintains a high level of comedic quality.
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Sorry, but I always pictured someone ... y'know, good-looking as the firstlady of COBRA. Like say Angelina Jolie! or Eliza Dushku. Somebody like them
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Right down to the hole.
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Did anyone else find the conclusion to Villains United an underwhelming end to an excellent series? And Omac was kind of the same. I guess because rather than ending, all these books are setting up the "big event." And the uber-excessive hand-wringing
(particularly and most ridiculously by Batman) over WW offing Max Lord is just tiresome. Very Tiresome! -
Anyone remember that Juliette Lewis gag on the Daily Show many years ago? Paraphrased: "In The Other Sister," Juliette Lewis plays the role she was born to play... a retard.
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Fell is a great format, but a horrible pairing of format/genre. Det. Fell is basically assigned to a case, decides to go out for a few drinks with the one attractive person in the entire city, and she tells him all the information he needs to find the killer. What a coincidence!!! Ellis makes good use of 16 pages, but not even he can tell a satisfing mystery in that space. An enjoyable read, but by the end it doesn't get anything more than a "meh". And I'm going to go ahead and assume that your GI Joe casting coach was purposfully ironic. Juliette Lewis? Thats hilarious.
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It's definitely a cool idea, the whole bang-for-buck approach (although ya gotta laugh a bit when a two dollar comic's a bargain), but Ellis's protagonists annoy me like few other protagonists. I mean, how many ways can the guy retool his own personality into a bad-ass template? That's pretty much his "thing" it seems. Write a thinly disguised version of himself, have the character get laid, kick ass, and have a few pages of humanity, and use as backdrop whatever gnarly shit Ellis has been reading about (porn, smoke children, etc.), rinse, repeat. I won't say that I haven't been lured by repetition in plenty of comics - even with all the different approaches to superheroes, say, there's assloads of formula - but Ellis's approach seems that much more self-aggrandizing. I think the guy is pretty much selling the persona he's created for himself, and that IS kinda interesting. Little goes a long way for me, though.
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His above post is right-on. I already said the GI JOE Casting Couch was lame. This one, even lamer (more lame?). Next time: Suicide Squad casting couch featuring Paul Hogan as Boomerang.
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SUPERMAN!
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Oct 13, 2005 11:34:31 AM CDT
Catherine Zeta Jones is the Baroness, and let no one tell you di
by terry_1978
Betta recognize.
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Oct 13, 2005 11:45:02 AM CDT
GOTHAM COUNTY LINE was the most unintentionally funny book of la
by dave_f
Partially for all the reasons Bug mentioned, but mostly because...Niles has Batman wearing a jetpack for about half the issue, blasting around like the Rocketeer! From Grant Morrison, I expect this kind of approach, but when horror-dom's guru tries his hand at Batman, it just comes across as the funniest thing ever. See, when Batman uses the jetpack, his cape furls up like drawstring blinds, and then when he lands, he presses a button on his belt (it's actually marked "CAPE" like it would be on the old '60s show!) and the cape flumps back down! My favorite scene, though, was the panel of Batman saying "Case closed" and blasting off from the middle of a bunch of suburbanites. All it needed was the DRAGNET "Dun-de-dun-DUN!" and it would've been a moment of perfect comedy. ***** On the sunny side: nice art!
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omg, that's poifect! too bad it's all a phantasee... (btw, i thiought FELL #1 was great. i'm in for #2)
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"The last time you inspired anyone was when you were dead." Cog Smooches?
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Oct 13, 2005 12:05:35 PM CDT
I like how all the anti-Casting Call folks are still talking abo
by dave_f
Geez, folks, it's only an occasional feature amidst the regular reviews! No one's taking away your candy, and really, is stunt-casting a G.I. JOE movie any more frivolous than speculating on who Mockingbird is or what's gonna happen in INFINITE CRISIS? Search your feelings. You know my words to be true. ***** Dumb joke for readers of Ed Brubaker's CATWOMAN: What do you get when you cross INFINITE CRISIS with Slam Bradley? "Infinite Creezus"! Oh, come on, it's funny.
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...is that it's meant to be some great, biting insight on Batman's part, but all it really is is a metacontextual comment on how far DC has let Superman slide as a character. I read that comment and I don't think, "Great characterization, Geoff Johns!", I think "DC's unknowingly citing their own emasculation." 'Course I'll have more to say when we Roundtable this beeyotch next week. Just warming up is all.
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That was a good line! Batman is clearly responsible for the deaths of so many people, yet he is all self-righteous with WW. This bugs me. Unfortunately, the whole DC "heroes never kill, never, never, never, no matter what, etc" is absurd. OTOH, Marvel's "kill her!" and having basically the entire cast of Marvel Super Heroes ready to axe Wanda is the reverse problem. House of M #7 vs. Infinite Crisis #1? Which is better, and why? It seems to me that HoM7 indicates that even Magneto was ready to off Wanda, and Pietro creatd the house of M to save her. Is this correct? If so, I no like. OTOH, the last page of IC1 really did not work for me. But I was excited by/about IC.
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BEST BOOK THIS YEAR: Why? Simple. In the first issue they nailed you in the gut with what the stakes really are for the people in this universe on both the personal and cosmic scale. To be a 'hero' of any type in the DCU right now is to REALLY be risking your life. **SPOILER ALERT***
While the Freedom Fighters have always been lame in my book they sure went out like pro's. Deathstroke's ginsu special on Phantom Lady was not nice at all. Watching Bizzaro literally beat the Human Bomb's skull into guacamole actually instilled a feeling horror in me. And who didn't LOVE HB's brutal and final take down of Dr. Polaris?
**END SPOILERS**
Moreso, The fact that DC has owned up to EVERYTHING they have done to their universe before this was sheer brilliance as far as I'm concerned. I've never seen that kind of intellectual maturity in any marvel book. This ain't no Marvel sux/ DC rox soapbox, just sayin' that in terms of story DC is the far winner if for no other reason the level of maturity occurring in their line. IMHO, as always. (*_^) -
I do agree.
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but at least DC is owning up to it you know? They seem to be trying to put things in order and I applaud them for that. Whatever happens next week at the Roundtable, I'm pretty sure despite whatever faults this issue had, that it will be far better recieved than HoM. I mean, IC #1 got to the devil shit!!! I'm enjoying it greatly so far.
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Either way, they're both retarded.
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Mutha fuckin' John Wayne -- Really dug it, wondering what will happen next and where the story is going to go. Shit hasn't just hit the fan in this first issue, it's spattering off the fan blades and hitting people in the general vicinity. Hope that the story doesn't fizzle, it's got a lot of momentum and potential right now.
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Oct 13, 2005 1:13:13 PM CDT
The best thing about FELL. is that it's paving the way for o
by sleazyg.
Matt Fraction's CASANOVA will be dropping from Image next spring. Same format, except the debut issue will be double-sized for the same price. The art looks stunning and it's Fraction doing 60's-influenced espionage (more Danger: Diabolik than James Bond, though). Very different from FELL., and with a lot of potential. I believe Image has also contacted a third creator to do the same. The fact Ellis carries enough weight to introduce a different format and have it succeed on this level is pretty damned impressive, and I'm looking forward to what Image has for us as a result.
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To hell with that noise, then. He played the landlord at the boarding house where Dustin Hoffman stayed in THE GRADUATE, too.
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maybe that's one of the benefits of this latest crisis, so all the heroes can suddenly lose that familiarity we have with them. Any writer can come up with a story and it'll be PC (Post Crisis) and thus something new. Miller's latest batman... okay that was too far for me, but the essence of the dark knight can be summed up in one sentence, revenge on crime. Take that and you have the making of any good batman story, continuity be gone.
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Pretty much the from the line "There are no such things as Ghosts." or something like that. Granted Batman is supposed to be suspicious, but come on!!! This guy knows DEADMAN, and has met at least three versions of the SPECTRE. Since when does he not believe in an afterlife???
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<< And now, now of all times, the original Superman returns. And why? My supposition is that for all the hype, all the fireworks, and all the build-up, Infinite Crisis will mainly be about what it means to be a hero. Consider: the present heroes of the DCU don
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Dido and Johns (and I think even Rucka) have been saying in a bunch of comic convention panels that with IC they wanted to explore the notion of what it is to be a hero. To some extant, this is similar to a lot of Johns' JSA stories where the powerhouses of the past inspire their heroic progeny.
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Can't we talk about how much Brian Bendis and Cobra Casting Couches suck instead? We have the next 6 months to talk about how much Infinite Crisis sucks.
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Serenity TPB w/ Adam Hughes cover out in December *** http://tinyurl.com/9d3v6 ***
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The new Butch Cassidy & Sundance Kid? : )
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Oct 13, 2005 2:18:38 PM CDT
Yeah...sorry...I second the "No" on Juliette Lewis as the Barone
by superhero
She's just not sexy enough...sorry...but Zeta Jones isn't the way to go either...this is a tough one...
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I'm sold! Well, not literally. I mean, I still have no intention of actually PURCHASING the book or anything.
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I'm serious. http://www.101lifestyle.com/images/celebs/thora_birch/thora_birch_001.jpg
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That's just it, Bob. Infinite Crisis DOESN'T suck. It rocks nuclear electric acid-spewing donkey balls beeyatch! If it ain't to yours tastes then rock on to your own beat but let the rest of us munch away on our ever-so-yummy comic book feast that it is. I mean, C'mon, (and I repeat) WHEN have you ever seen a publisher say "Y'know what? I know we said all those things never happened with all of the new things that happened. You and I both know that's a crock of sh**. Tell you what, it ALL did happen and we're gonna give you a story that actually addresses that. Oh hey and just for kicks we'll have it written and drawn by 2 pros that are quite arguably the best in the biz right now." I AM YOUR BITCH, DC!! GIVE ME MORE! (Sorry about the last bit, my meds are wearing off) >:P
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And if I do, I'll buy it next week. I just don't want to read spoilers here. Although, I am guessing that if rabid fans of "new-DC" are going nuts over it then I won't like it. DC fans have definitely turned weird over the last year or so. What's up with that?
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I think that pic is a few years old at this point (when she was still a teen) ... do we know what she looks like now? Or is this a recent pic?
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Give it a go sideshow. It helps if you've read the original Crisis and are up w/ current events though. If you are I don
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...you're an idiot.
Identity Crisis was sooo good (Plese A$$Holes hold off for a second) because it played off of conituity slighty, but was a self contained story.
Infinite Crisis #1 is really just Crisis on Infite Earth # 13....
A sequel to a 30 year old story line is just bleeeech...Hummananna hummananana chickii chickii hock toooey mahnanana blech!
But Ex Machina #15 soooo good.
Do we get a roundtable anihalating Infite Crisis next week? (probably not because it seems A$$holes are on the Time Warner pay stub)
But I still wanna be one... -
*** tinyurl.com *** rev. And I don't even know what to say to Nairb
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It's like Invasion of the Body-Snatchers.
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is far better than HOM, this much i do know.
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Oct 13, 2005 3:12:38 PM CDT
Everybody loves blackthought, but what did he think about
by the heathen
Everyone Hates Hugo? And what are you saying sideshow?
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Oct 13, 2005 3:24:21 PM CDT
Famke Janssen as the Baroness -- I dare you to name someone hott
by nivekj
Question: Is Serpentor gonna be in this or is that GI Joe 2: Rise of Serpentor? No? How about GI Joe 3: Wrath of Cobra-La? Alright, I'll stop.
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Firstly, Nairb, calling me an "idiot" for liking the last page of a comic is a bit extreme. Maybe you should learn to relax. Secondly, Heathen, I'm well aware of how long the urls I post are. I didn't stretch the talkback and have no intention of doing so. Thirdly, chrth, Birch is blonde now (and thinner) but that's nothing a dye job wouldn't fix.
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Oct 13, 2005 3:31:08 PM CDT
Please don't belittle me for liking something..it disservice
by psynapse
Dude, I'm about as old school as you can get. One of my all time favorite stories from childhood was the introduction of the Crime Syndicate. What is exciting about DC's 'new' direction is that it really is new in the fact that they are addressing everything 'old' in the process. Moreover, IC, like Kingdom Come is actually tackling what it means to be a superhero not just some big splodey slugfest. *apologizes for backhand* (But it WAS a backhand with love man, kinda like spanking your monkey if you will)*Sorry, the meds have totally worn off now* (*_^)
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Oct 13, 2005 3:32:16 PM CDT
Sideshowbob: Well as a former Marvel Zombie...DC is where its at
by tallscott
I used to buy only Marvel but now DC comics are just hitting alot of right notes with me as a Comic Book reader. I dont know why but the Marvel books are rather uninteresting to me. Daredevil bores me to tears, Spiderman did the unthinkable and joined the Avengers and his books are kinda out there, Too many x-books and Woverine is in every team PLUS hes in the Avengers. Talk about overkill! I do still enjoy Astonishing X-men and The Defenders is a very enjoyable read but still ive been buying mostly DC books beacuse they seem to understand that comics are supposed to be fun to read. JSA is the best team book out, IC #1 was great and lived up to the hype, Villians United kicked butt all over the place, and Manhunter is a solid read. They seem to not be locked in like the Marvel books are. You have Plasticman for fun and cartoony, The Virtigo books for more mature reading that no other company can seem to copy ( 100 Bullets is the shiznit ) So now its make mine DC!
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What Batman *should* have said to Gordon was, "Nice slippers, you geriatric retard". If you're going to write Batman, do it right. Sincerely, Frank Miller
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Oct 13, 2005 4:16:49 PM CDT
Bats has always been the one that wasn't afraid to put Super
by terry_1978
It only makes since he calls him on this one.
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Famke Janssen is the "safe" choice. Its the first thing to pop into everybodys mind because she basically already played that character in Golden Eye. And IC #1 > All 7 issues of HoM so far, although the latest issue would have been pretty damn good if Marvel hadn't spoiled the ending.
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I really don't think DC comics are fun to read. No offense to people who feel otherwise. Clearly it's just me and a few others. The DC heroes lately just act so...wussy. It's like the typical DC comic these days is just whine, whine, punch, whine, whine, punch, whine, punch, punch, whine, whine. Seriously, if my friends acted as wussy as the DC heroes do I'd stop hanging out with them...and they're not even (to my knowledge) superheroes. *** Not to let Marvel off the hook--they have their own issues, to be sure. There are more *fun* books at Marvel, albeit not many overall. *** When I say "new DC fans", I am referring to this recent crop of DC fans who don't love DC as much as they hate Marvel. You see them on the net here and there. "Identity Crisis rules. IN YOUR FACE, MARVEL!" "Oh, Marvel's doing a crossover now--ALL THEY DO IS RIP OFF DC!" It's like reading comics is not even about loving what they love, just hating what they hate. They also tend to *strongly* feel that what DC is doing now is innovate, original, and edgy. And it's just not any of those things (but don't tell them). But there's nobody here like that, that I know of, but they're out there. *** Ultimately, I think DC and Marvel both suffer from a similar problem: they put too much influence in the hands of their flagship writers (Bendis and Johns), both of whom are very talented and very flawed. And the flaws of those respective writers seeped into their entire lines moreso than what makes the writers great.
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DC Is bringing back the annuals early next year. In the Batman Annual they are going to explain how Jason Todd survived. For anyone who was interested. Oh yeah Catman and Deadshot the new Butch and Sundance. Hell yeah. Villains United # 6 was great. So was IC.
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I would cast a different group:
Storm Shadow: Jet Li
Cobra Commander: Crispin Glover
Zartan: Nic Cage
Destro: Jason Statham
Baroness: Jennifer Connelly
Tomax & Zamot: Tom Cruise
Major Bludd: Pierce Brosnan
FireFly: Barry Pepper
The Dreadnoks: Michael Rapaport, Vinnie Jones, Cole Hauser -
you f...ers better do a lame ass "round table" discussion for Infinite Crisis #1 like you did to House of M #1 otherwise it will confirm my theory that you're all just a bunch of DC ball lickers. 'nuff said
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Here is why I think Sideshow is great:"I think DC and Marvel both suffer from a similar problem: they put too much influence in the hands of their flagship writers (Bendis and Johns), both of whom are very talented and very flawed. And the flaws of those respective writers seeped into their entire lines moreso than what makes the writers great." Perfectly stated!
Now, regarding spoilers: Movie reviews come out the day of the movie, and people know not to read the review if they don't want too much info. These reviews are a week old, and my enthusiasm to discuss the books I read a week ago isn't as high. Plus, I guess I am a ne-plus-ultra geek who buys his comics on Wednesday night and reads at least a couple of them immediately. HoM and IC, for example. Still haven't read Y, Exiles or Ultimate X-Men, all of which I love much more than, say, HoM, but I'm just so curious about HoM and IC, I can't resist. -
Oct 13, 2005 5:25:31 PM CDT
"all it really is is a metacontextual comment on how far DC has
by gus nukem
Agreed. While reading the book and the various miniseries leading up to it, I felt that the mastermind behind it all, will not be a DCU villain, neither a hero turned villain, nor any multiverse character at all, but will turn out to be the DCU creators themselves. You know, as in Johns and Rucka and Didio and Levitz turning up through an invisible bubble or something and apologizing for the massacre of heroes and worlds in the last two Crises and for the 'dickery' (couldn't find a better noun, sorry) heroes and villains have come to be. If not them, it could be the DCU status quo as a villain (a Morrison concept, perhaps...?). Nah... Personally, my money's on balckthought. ***** It seemed to me that the DCU creators were in fact referring to themselves as the architect(s) of this crisis; and through that they will absolve themselves towards the initial concepts behind the characters and their fans by restoring things to the way they believe they should be. I probably will be proven wrong.
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Liar... You are just saying that to make DC look bad... BY THE BY...Its all relative in the mass more conception of the treaty? Cha?
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Oct 13, 2005 5:37:03 PM CDT
I agree with Sideshow so much i think we should just merge and b
by el vale
Altho' i may be exagerating. But here's my point about the IC: I get what's happening, i get that they're trying to put the heroes through a lot of personal shit in order to come out the other side and say "you know, we've been acting kinda asshole-ish...so let's be heroes again :D"...except of course for all the heroes who will die, to be replaced with other versions of themselves who aren't assholes. I get all that. But to me it feels like it's still about 2 years of rapings and bullets through the heads of heroes and darkness and crying and betraying so that they can finally come to the conclusion that being happy is better than being sad. That's hundreds of comics and dozens of stories and thousands of dollars spent on what should be as simple as an editorial mandate: "Nope, no one's killing Sue Dibny in the DCU! No one's killing the Blue Beetle...sorry." Do heroes really have to wade through all this death and destruction and anal rape to see the light? That doesn't sound heroic to me! And it feels like people are paying lots of money for something that should be quite simple: Make the heroes heroic. Is it REALLY necessary to have an identity crisis and the countdown to the crisis and the mini series that were just a prelude to the crisis (what, like 89 of them?) so that the writers can finally start doing their jobs proper?! I say thee NAY!
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Oct 13, 2005 5:42:20 PM CDT
Looks Like It's Time For Ol' Buzz To Chime In On The Con
by buzz maverik
I must say I've been waiting a long time for this one! And ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MAN VOL. 7 did not disappoint a single bit. We've got the whole Gwen Stacey clone/Jackal/Spider-Clone epic. I think yer all on crack! It was so well done that I could over look the part where Peter Parker wondered if he were the clone and not the dead guy. You guys all read it so you know that in the previous issue, a drugged Spidey fought the Jackal and was severely clawed. He would have have cuts and scratches all over his body that Spider-Clone wouldn't have. But the structure, the pace, the tension were so good that this gap in logic (HA! it's about a human spider meeting the clone of his girlfriend who was murdered by a super-villain and having to fight his own clone for identity!)was easily forgiven.
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Oct 13, 2005 5:43:13 PM CDT
" A master sargent does not fly planes, or commands officers. "
by rev_skarekroe
Military organizations also do not, as a rule, hire karate experts, astronauts, or football players. Also, they don't let Marines go into battle wearing nothing on top but a powder blue vest. G.I. Joe is a toy.
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...but one of the first comics I read as a kid was the MARVEL TALES reprinting the issue you mention, Buzz, with the Jackal clawing up Spidey something fierce and Spidey's battle with his clown. Damn cool issue, and I forget the artist (it was one of those excellent '70s stalwarts who always gets forgotten), but he knocked that Spidey/Jackal fight outta the park. You really get the sense that Spidey's throwing these clumsy, awkward punches, and the Jackal's just dancing around him, cutting him to pieces. I think he even bashes the downed Spidey with a table. Not bad for a graying old science professor!
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Oct 13, 2005 5:50:54 PM CDT
But I Bullshit! I Bullshit Because I Love. I Know The Big Book
by buzz maverik
...was ESSENTIAL WEREWOLF BY NIGHT VOL. 1. Bronze age monsters, bay-bee! Big ass lettering. Appropriately schlocky art in places. Writing generally by newbies like Marv Wolfman and Doug Moench who weren't in the league of the superhero writers like Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway. I was disappointed that this volume didn't cover the full scope of WEREWOLF, which included Lissa Russell's version of the Darkhold curse and the introduction of a mercenary hired to captured the Werewolf, one Marc Spector: Moon Knight ("Bingo, girls! Split and fast!"). Or, most stupidly, a battle between the Werewolf and Iron Man. Being Marvel, they sometimes superheroized or at least Hulked the Werewolf, giving him Russell's brain or control over the powers. Those were always the weaker stories. Also missing was a kick ass HELL HOUSE rip off yarn by Moench and Don Perlin; also one where Jack almost kills his best friend. The sad thing is that is probably not enough Werewolf for a second volume.
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Oct 13, 2005 5:51:53 PM CDT
Juliette Lewis is probably the most perverse casting idea for a
by iamnicksaicnsn
She's ugly and can't act. What was so funny about her in Starsky and Hutch wasn't that she played a dumbass bimbo (which was funny), but the fact that anyone would be her sugar daddy, she's clearly up there on the level of crack whore.
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Oct 13, 2005 5:57:47 PM CDT
The Artist Everyone Is Talking About Is Ross Andru, Dave!
by buzz maverik
For my money, one of the great Spidey artists who had the misfortune of following Romita Sr. and Kane. The guy was one of the first to experiment with crazy paneling and perspectives. He really could make you feel like Spidey was up in the air. Co-created the Punisher. He did these great realistic settings with outlandish super action taking place within. His flaw, when compared to Romita and Kane, was that his villains did not give off that sense of raw power. I never felt like his Kingpin could bust those spider-ribs like Kane's or that the arms of his Doc Ock could strike with the pile driving force of Romita Sr.'s. He did the quick guys, the ones with agility powers better, like the Jackal. You should check out the Tarantula battle in the previous issue. It's just as good and was the first Spidey comic I ever bought.
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Oct 13, 2005 6:05:01 PM CDT
BTW Dave, Ya Shoulda Given A SPOILER Warning. Now Everybody Kno
by buzz maverik
...the Jackal was Professor Miles Warren, the only character who kept popping up in all the Jackal stories for no apparent reason and not Aunt May or Robbie Robertson or Peter Parker. I was kept in suspense until he peeled off his silly mask even though the Jackal looked just like Professor Warren. Professor W. had the hots for Gwen Stacey. I've heard some jokers post on the internet that Gwen was bangin' the Goblin and had his bastard children...Gawd, fan fiction sucks!
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Oct 13, 2005 6:09:30 PM CDT
Hehehe Buzz is so clever and crazy, he misleaded us into thinkin
by el vale
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"Pete, you're a helluva good kid. In fact, I was gonna try and get you a fifty cent raise from ol' Skinflint next week. But now I gotta kill ya."
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Oct 13, 2005 6:11:13 PM CDT
But It Was ESSENTIAL GHOST RIDER That Really Kicked Ass.
by buzz maverik
You can't get more 70s than a motorcycle stunt rider who sells his soul to the devil! It's Evel Knievel meets the Exorcist! We're talkin' insanely, heavy lined garish art and some of the biggest lettering I've ever seen in a comic book. Johnny Blaze even had a romance with DD's ex Karen Page. Some guy who draws really well told me about some fan fiction he did where Karen Page turned out to be a junkie porn star who sold Matt out to the Kingpin. I told him he should stick to artwork.
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Nobody harshes Buzz in the middle of a '70s comic flashback if I have anything to say about it.
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Oct 13, 2005 6:11:43 PM CDT
Being infinitely happy is better than being infinitely sad (and
by astrothunder
In terms of the Infinite Crisis stuff, I think
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From an interview with Larry Hama: "I always had a lot of probs with Duke as the "First Shirt". In a line infantry company, the top kick runs the outfit. He is, without a doubt the most experienced soldier in the unit. In Nam, you might have had First Shirts who had been in WW II and Korea-- and a commanding officer straight out of "Shake and Bake" or ROTC. The main prob I had was that the folks at Hasbro and the writers on the cartoon show just treated Duke as if he was interchangeable with Hawk. This is why Duke was never really developed as a character in the comic. There was also a design prob in that he looked too similar to Hawk. In my own head, I tended to think of Stalker as acting first shirt, especially in the field. There was a character in the Nam comic, Sgt Polkow, who fits the mold of what a first sergeant should really be like-- In a glorified sense. The actual first sergeant in that comic was a bribe-taking SOB, but when the chips were down, he did his job. That is hitting closer to reality."
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...which, btw, no one in California has ever called Orange County. I'm sorry to say that I've never watched the show because I've heard that it features a sensitive, Bendis loving comic book geek who likes new music instead of the Clash as he should. I'm not much of a TV fan.
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Rich Johnston reports (That's geek for *spoiler warning*) the following (DO NOT READ, DC FAN!): That Flash guy's gonna bite it, and some other Flash guy will replace him. I love all this crazy Infinite Crisis stuff because it's so original.
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I'm the only one who laughed at Infinite Creezus. I may be your only friend.
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kids are understanding the clash every single day...there hasn't been a band that has matched the passion of them since what....?.....'77....?
you best better recognize.... -
And I think I'd enjoy Infinite Creezus more than Infinite Crisis. Just seven issues of Slam Bradly beating the shit out of every superhero from every alternate reality in fucking existance. Kamandi? Pistol-whipped into oblivion. The original Huntress who was the daughter of Batman and Catwoman? Biker-stomped. Space Cabby? Face through a goddamn plate window. INFINITE CREEZUS!
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But if so, it was something that came later in his career, 'cause he's definitely an "anything goes" guy when he debutes in BRAVE & THE BOLD. The issue where he becomes an atom bomb is only maybe five or six stories into the collection.
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Last time I gave a damn he was dead or in hell with Bizarro. Or something. Or maybe I'm thinking of Guy Gardner. God, I wanna go home.
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And also in the pages of Judd Winick's OUTSIDERS, so yeah, he might be better off dead. Actually, Winick has *two* Metamorphos running around, though I was never clear on where the second one came from. I just know that making a duplicate of *any* superhero is probably a bad idea. Kind of kills the uniqueness factor, dunnit? And for a character like Metamorpho who's pretty much entirely a novelty hero...a *particularly* bad idea. ***** Related note: I'm not sure if Metamorpho made his first appearance in years in Winick's OUTSIDERS, but Rev, he *had* indeed seemingly died in the first issue of Grant Morrison's JLA some years back. You might've been thinking of that. Forget the specifics, but he formed a sphere around some other heroes in space to help them survive re-entry. He appeared to've died heroically in the process, but Morrison left the door open for his return by simply classifying him as "inert." That's the kind of death I like. Saves the embarassment of jumping through hoops when you want 'em back.
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I want you to take Dan Didio's job. Now!
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Quite often in life an individual learns their strength of character by realizing what an asshole they are capable of being. I guess, that's a little too complex for your funny books, huh? If you dont' like it or have your issues with IC that's your gig. Doesn't make it any less of an awesome story to read folks.
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Oct 13, 2005 7:37:40 PM CDT
Quite often in life an individual learns their strength of chara
by el vale
Isn't that Spider Man's origin?
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** SPOILER ** for VU #6. So the real Lex is Mockingbird and the one w/ Calculator is which Lex from what Earth??? I also thought that Pariah couldn
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How many other comics this year had a showdown between Jesus and Satan that revolved around a Hell's Angel with a flaming skull for a head?
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then 6 come along at once :).AB = The Batman nitpicks all seem legal to me.I'm confused by Infinite crisis,does it work like this?,at the end of this mini series,all the titles in D.C.U. skip a year and then the weekly series kicks off next year and fills the gaps??.Tumbleweed ahoy.
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That must be Bizzarro's involvement, right? Either that or the DCU all starts taking Prozac. Batman: "I was pouting because I didn't think you guys were my super friends anymore after the mindwiping, but now..." (pops pill, cue music) "I can see clearly now the rain is gone! I can see alllllll obstacles in my way! Gone are the dark clouds that had me down! It's gonna be a bright..." (the rest of JLA kicks in on backup vocals) "bright...bright, bright sunshiney day!!" And...scene.
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Oct 13, 2005 7:44:19 PM CDT
"I think DC and Marvel both suffer from a similar problem: they
by the heathen
Well said sideshow. Like I said earlier, I'm just a comic fan in general, but as far as big events for the big two - Infinite Crisis is (finally) off to a great start. HoM is just, so non important feeling and that's the one thing it should feel like. It took me until #5 to be FULLY fed up w/ it (Ihang in there longer than most). I do like my Marvel books too: Astonishing, Supreme Power, Runaways to name a few. Well, it's been a loooong day. I'll chime in tomorrow Cogs. Later.
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Superman: "I think I can make it now, the pain is gone! All of the bad feelings have disappeared! Here is my rainbow I've praying for! It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright sun-shiney day!" Everybody now!: "Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies! Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skiiiiiiiieeeees!!!"
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I think you've got a hit on your hands with the IC musical. Do I smell Tony? You bethca! Nathan Lane as Superman, Matthew Broderick as Batman, and Cady Huffman as Wonder Woman.
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How do they make it fresh? Who hasn't died and come back? Maybe they'll kill Billy Batson? Aquaman? What if they had the balls to off Bruce Wayne? Yeah right. Comics are too expensive anyways. I go to Borders and hang out in the graphic novels section for two hours and I catch up on years of missed comics. Hey, maybe they'll kill Jason Todd!
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Heathen, I'll have to get back to you tomorrow night (I saw your one subject line and that's it). I don't get my books until Friday each week because it's the most reasonable day to slip out of work early. Normally my comic shop's closed by the time I get home. But anyway, I'm leaping into this fray just as soon as I can (oh what good week: Zauriel on the cover of JLA, Infinite Crisis has hit, and VU with NO-AH!).
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Zartan is a Floridian. His home is the Everglades and I don't recall any evidence that he's from English. Casting Sean Bean as Zartan would be as crazy as casting Keanu Reeves as Stormshadow! Personally, I'd like to see a GI Joe movie filmed with an entire cast of unknown (or little known) talanted actors. Big Names do not automatically mean 'great movie'. Plus, big name celebrities chew up a LOT of the film budget on salaries alone. Better to spend that money on the script. There are tons of talanted, albeit 'unknown', actors out there.
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you mean like me!
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what is all this HOM and Infinite crisis stuff ppl are talking bout? and what does calculators and cobra commander have to do with it? speaking of cobra commander for some reason i thought vince vaughn should play him...i really don't know why...something to do with maple syrup or something. and when did bendis buy marvel? marvel might as well be called benvel or something to that affect...slott should be given more work, that's all i'minsinuating. ok...i just googled this whole crisis thing and HOM and found out that calculator is some prson minus the cool buttons and that the crisis and hom all stem from batman getting mindwiped and finiding solice in the arms of scientology and nora ephron films. this could all true or i could be very "influenced" by...lights...er...yeah lights. and i'm with the whole catman/deadshot starsky and hutch claims...hell these boys should have a buddy flick starring murtagh and riggs...or maybe maybe......goes blank...
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How come the heroes in the DC verse like in the recent JLA stand around arguing. Why aren't they being attacked by the OMACS? Why don't the OMACS attack them when they were standing around spreading dust? How come they aren't discussing the "looming" OMAC problem?
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With the exception (MAYBE) of the big red cheese and the big blue boy scout, (AND IF YOU DON'T GET THAT ONE YOU SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH FOR FAKING BEING A COMIC FAN!!!) I don't see a whole hell of a lot here! A sex slave story in PUNISHER. While I
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Oct 13, 2005 9:44:05 PM CDT
OH and i forgot again BOYCOTT X-MEN (and outher x titles) FOR 3
by rickslamu2
December, January and Febuary ! LIKE CAPTION PLANET SAY'S "THE POWER IS YOURS!!!"
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Most of us here don't need to boycott X-Men because we stopped buying it when we realized we didn't like it anymore. And the people who like it, why would they boycott it?
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Oct 13, 2005 10:02:17 PM CDT
You're right rev. The Marines aren't sent into combat w
by heywood jablowme
They're sent into combat with no mission objective, poor intelligence, incompetent leadership from career desk-jockeys, inadequately armored vehicles, an inadequate amount of body armor, oh, and their uniforms.
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Oct 13, 2005 10:14:53 PM CDT
Yeah Rick, it's time to let it go pal. Keep it simple, like
by heywood jablowme
Granted, I don't like what Claremont has done lately. But as they say, "this too shall pass". And while I'm no "brownshirt" (please don't burn my house down) I appreciated the work on Astonishing. It was good. Nothing really new though is there? Is there? Whedon's initial run just reminded us all of how good the X-Men used to be back in the day IMHO. Kind of like what's happening over at DC, huh?
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In the shitfest of a crossover called "Our Worlds At War", in which Guy Gardner and Hippolyta were also killed for no damned reason in an incredibly pointless manner completely lacking in emotional impact. Then he was brought back to life in the distant past as a wave, then somehow ended back up here, then got stuck in a year-long ripoff of an elemental Swamp Thing story that left him with a poorly launched new series and a hand made of mystical water. Honestly, AQUAMAN has been better in the last year than it had been for at least a decade.
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***Warning some spoilers here***
While I like that DC finally seems to be honestly and full acknowleging in continuity everything that existed before crisis and was the crisis itself, in such a way that doesn't really feel quite as strained as some elements have in the past. I am a little disturbed by the rather clear patern to the recent carnage of mostly B list heroes, both in the clearly stated run up titles and even shortly before that. Blue Beetle - dead, Captain Atom - presumed dead, Freedom Fighters (Uncle Sam, Phantom Lady, The Ray, Black Condor, Human Bomb, etc) All dead, the Wizard Shazam and the Rock of Eternity - dead and destroyed, I suspect there are a few others that I missed, but sofar all of the major and dramatic carnage seems to be via sacrificing the characters from Quality Charleton and others. The characters that DC originally retconned into the DC universe as part of Crisis on Infinaite Earths. I am not sure that I am pleased with the wholesale slaughter of these quirky yet classic characters. Right now any character who did not originate within DC is probably sitting with a target over them. -
but as a casual fan, I don't know that much about the B-listers, and it's been hard to keep track of what in the hell is going on, and who's dying, and who's killing who. That's why I personally liked Day of Vengeance the best: it had the most character development, Villains United came in a close second. They both really just gave you time to get to know and figure out who these characters are, and what's going on. OMAC started out a little confusing, but ended up being alright... but Rann/Thanagar was totally ridiculous. Impossible to follow, except for some of the Green Lantern stuff.
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Batman dropped that big clue in the first issue. So Supes dies and, um, becomes the new Specter? Yeah, that sounds good. And then the current Superboy will somehow merge with the old Superman grandpa version from Earth-2 and their ages average out to make them into the new Superman. And the whole world will be so inspired that Batman will get pissed of and go on an extended vacation. The two versions of Lex Luthor will merge to form the Brian Michael Bendis of the DC universe and will attempt to kill any beloved heroes holding bow and arrows. Just one question: Is Powergirl Earth 2's Supergirl or the daughter of Earth 2 Superman?
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...haven't got my hands on the book yet, but I knew about some of those casualties. Does The Ray die "on screen", though, so to speak? If he does, there's no need to freak out about all the deaths, cuz not all of 'em will be permanent. I read over ten pages of questions w/Geoff Johns yesterday at Newsarama about this, and he kept talking about how much he like Ray and wahted to use him next year. It didn't sound like he was just messing around, either...it was in the form of pretty sincere answers to questions posed by fans.
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He was dragged off by Psycho Pirate, who I think still remembers the original crises and all the multiple earths.
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Spoiler warning!! Was that too late?
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what one could do with a hand made of water...hmmm...
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Or else all this thematic complexity they're striving for goes the way of the dododododo. Instead of having your characters learn stuff, why not kill them all and replace them with younger people? DC wouldn't do that because Alex Ross' head would explode.
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The guy who said the cast should be unknowns is, of course, right. Not just for because a lot of us are using actors who'd never reduce themselves to a JOE movie, but because when you look up on the big screen, ideally you want to be seeing a *character* and not a *known actor*. But saying "use unknowns" is boring for purposes of generating geek-talk, and a *few* name or semi-name actors can actually be a good thing, so without further ado: COBRA COMMANDER: William Fichtner (though I like the Oldman option too) ***** BARONESS: Famke Janssen (sometimes the easy choice is also the perfect one, but Monica Bellucci is a good second option, and a dyed Rebecca Demornay works for me too -- ya can't go too girly on this one, people; Baroness needs a few years on her) ***** DESTRO: Billy Zane (Jason Statham has the physique, too, but can he convert his Brit accent to Scots?) ***** DR. VENOM (old school, baby!): Rutger Hauer ***** MAJOR BLUDD: Sam Neill ***** STORM SHADOW: No strong feeling on this one, but Bug's Donnie Yen pick seems a-ok. ***** FIREFLY: I'm gonna steal Sean Bean from the role of Zartan and cast him as Firefly. I'd never pull the mask off the character, but Bean's got piercing, scary eyes (picture him with the ski-mask in PATRIOT GAMES) so that'd be just fine. ***** ZARTAN: Guy Pierce. ****** Trust me, these are the parts they were all born to play. All we'd need to polish it off is director John McTiernan transported through time from his peak the '80s where he made three of the all-time great action movies with guns: DIE HARD, PREDATOR, and HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER. Remember that scene in PREDATOR where Arnie and company blow up that guerilla encampment and seemingly mow down half of South America in the process? 100% G.I. Joe, baby. Incidentally, of the Cobra stable of villains, for a first movie I'd seriously consider going only with Cobra Commander, the Baroness, and maybe Major Blood or Storm Shadow as their special agent. Destro you hold out for the sequel, because everyone knows he's so cool he's going to need a whole movie to dominate. Whatever goes on in the first outing (a variant on the first G.I. JOE issue?) I'd suggest, for the sequel I'd do a heavily-modified version of the Joe's first mission in Sierra Gordo (Kwinn, Doc Venom) and the subsequent adventures that culminated in Major Bludd trying to off Destro at Cobra Commander's behest. That'd be the bad-guy subplot, anyway, but the main plot would culminate with an adaptation of the issue where Cobra thinks they've pinned down the Joe HQ and we see Venom, Kwinn, and a few other sacrificial lambs die in the big showdown. This second flick would put the villains very much on the offensive and maybe even spotlight their soap operatics a bit over that of the heroes. The heroes would still get the Snake-Eyes/Kwinn sub-plot, though, and that'd kick ten kinds of ass. As for the third movie: gotta be the creation of Cobra Island, a tangible victory for the bad guys that'll remain even when the Joes drop the hammer on Cobra's secondary scheme of the movie. Ripcord would be the breakout character of the third movie, tracking girlfriend Candy onto Cobra Island for a stunningly brutal showdown with Zartan on the rain-swept shore: Ripcord's starlight scope rifle versus Zartan's compound bow and steel-tipped arrows. Tell me that wouldn't kick ass.
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The Drednoks, love 'em though I do, are likely too dated and outrageous in concept to use. BUT...if they *did* make the scene, they've gotta be Aussies or, in the case of leader-guy with chainsaw, a Brit: http://tinyurl.com/d2mz7 Any ol' wrestler just won't do because the Drednoks tape into a very specific '80s fear: nihilistic Australian biker gangs! You can thank George Miller for that one. As if the threat of nuclear destruction wasn't enough, he just HAD to go and throw a bunch of his countrymen into leather and scare the bejeezus out of us. ***** Also: Tomax and Xamot are NOT to be used. Some smoove-talkin' businessman type would replace 'em as our window in Cobra's Crimson Guard infliltrators. No psychic twins, though. Cheesy as G.I. JOE can be...they yet cheapen it.
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The others were Welsh and English.
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Can music be summed up in 2 words? Tension and Release. That's what this whole thing is about. It's what a lot of great art is about. It's kinda what life is all about, no? Going through something and seeing what's on the other side.
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Oct 14, 2005 9:20:32 AM CDT
On a lighter note, I read IC #1 late last nite right before bed.
by shigeru
NOT a good idea. My dreams were filled with obscure DC characters battling in space and killing each other. wtf. And all through reading that book I was on the verge of "Wha-huh???" I thought I was pretty well caught up but I guess not. Well I guess a lot of it is intentionally vague and will become more clear as time goes on.
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This afternoon/night is going to be hell for me at work, but I'll be waiting to know what you thought. *** Benvel. Speaking of which
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What?
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I just got pwned.
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I've got 7 hours til I can get to the shop and get my books, and then add at least an hour so I can get done reading them! Augh! Just be warned, when I get in here, I'm coming in with a vengeance. Expect BANGs, ZOOMs, and much wild and crazy behavior on my part. That and very long posts..
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KRAKA-BOOOMs? Gotta have one of those.
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It was quite the enjoyable read with some great art too. It was my first Buffyverse comic and a damn fine start thanks to Peter David.
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Oct 14, 2005 11:07:39 AM CDT
******SUPERMEGA MAYBE SPOILERS I JUST READ ABOUT BUT YOU PROBABL
by zombiesolutions
okay, i'm not nor have i been a regular comics shopper for quite some time. i usually pop in to the shoppe a few times a year and buy a binch of TPBs and random issues of various titles, so i am way out of touch with the latest MARVEL/DC housecleaning market strategies they pull out of their collective hat every couplea years. that being said, is it true that there are no more mutants? that in HOUSE OF M, somehow all the mutants have been wiped out? for real? please feel free to spoil the shit out of me, cause i just want to know. if the story is cool enough, i'll buy the HOUSE OF M tpb whenever it comes out... the whole DC crisis thing just sounds confusing. theres like 35 different earths? wtf? whatever.
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That's what it looks like at the end of HoM #7 doesn't it? But there is still (thank god) one issue left to sum it up rather quickly. Mutants can't be wiped out permanently for the sake of Marvels sales alone. Even the crappy X books (Uncanny and X-Men) sell like hot-cakes. Not to mention that Whedon and Cassaday are doing another 12 issues of Astonishing X-Men and Peter David is starting up a new X-Factor as well. And yeah, the DC thing IS confusing (especially if you haven't read the orig Crisis or any of the Countdown minis), but more has happened in the first issue of Infinite than in 3 or 4 or even 5 issues of HoM. That said, HoM #7 wasn't near as bad as #6, it actually progressed the story, Hawkeye might have died again, Qucksilver was the cause of it - not Magneto, and Wanda freraked out again and apparently wiped out all of mutantkind. My biggest complaint w/ #7 was the art. The panels are hard to follow w/ all the action and have I mentioned my dislike for square heads? There you have it. Hope it helps.
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Hey Kal-El, can I borrow your Warnagler? Where you at buddy?
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There's an article currently up in Newsarama. It's an interviw with Joe Q. Cliffs notes version: Marvel has finally realized that they've gone completely overboard with mutants and X-books in general. They are not gettting rid of either obviously but in Joe's own words they want to 'put the genie back in the bottle' on both fronts. The Marvel U mutant population is about to return to the 1960's numbers and there is a STRICT mandate that no new mutant characters be created for some time. This is the editorial direction of Marvel for the next 5 to 6 years according to Joe. Now you know.....(*_^)
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Oct 14, 2005 11:45:35 AM CDT
Infinite Crisis is the most shamelessly manipulative piece of cr
by delete me
The ending, with its return-of-the-Golden-Age and its "This looks like a job for Superman," is meant to instill in us a higher sense of What Heroism Is, so that we embrace the book and its repudiation of the Bad Dark DC we've been getting for the last five years. But for fuck's sake, this book is put out by the same damn people who MADE Batman an unforgivable asshole, turned Superman into a whiny chump, and Wonder Woman into an cold, emotionally alien killer. So how exactly am I supposed to clap and praise DC for retoring Nobility And Heroism to the world when they've spent the last half of a decade pissing all over it? You don't get thanks for saving the buring building you deliberately set on fire.
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But I imagine everyone knows that. Just didn't want to sound all "partisan."
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Don't worry you didn't come across as partisan at all, merely whiny. Just a thought: Maybe DC realized the direction they've been going in ain't so great and this is how they're gonna fix it. If you're so down on what they're doing how about this: SHUT UP AND QUIT BUYING THE BOOKS. Sorry for the caps but your argument against IC is way too obviously a personality statement on your part and not an actual critique of the material at all. Me? I'm squarely in DC's corner rightnow and willing to take on ALL naysayers. Don't like what's going on?
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Into the Blue had Jessica Alba and Paul "bro" Walker in freaking bathing suits the whole movie and it tanked far worse than Serenity. Wallace and Gromit is not too well known in the states and it debuted at the top w/ $16 million. And nobody went to see the original Matrix because it starred that brilliant actor Keanu Reeves did they? Then there's also the date the movies are released (September/October and January/February suck usually) and marketing budgets as well among other things.
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Oct 14, 2005 12:20:20 PM CDT
Too many mutants? No more new mutant characters for some time?
by shigeru
Didn't Joe Q create X-23?? Yikes.
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Oct 14, 2005 12:22:27 PM CDT
You don't get thanks for saving the buring building you deli
by the heathen
Yeah you do. Seriously, those people thanked me and would have been far more burnt if I let the whole fuckin house burn! Get what I'm saying?
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Posted before I was done! Impudent machine! As I was saying: Put your money where your mouth is and quit buying the books if you don't like what's happening. The writing IS on the wall and what's gonna go down is what's gonna go down. I've lost interest in anything Marvel is doing other than Runaways. DC however, has me wanting more. *Raises flame/bulletproof shield*
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is the only one who can Baroness or you know...Claudia Black.
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...a bit too grandmotherly. Claudia Black would work, though, and is probably more realistic for the kind of actors a movie like G.I. JOE would draw. ***** In other news: did no one read my PLASTIC MAN review? You have make me sad. No wonder the book's getting cancelled...
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...is motivator enough for me to want to kill off all the old timers, much as I love those guys. Ross' art can look pretty, sure, but what a tool. "I grew up looking at these old heros when I was a kid, so they're the only ones that count! Who *cares* what other people like? I want it my way!" Stick a sock in it, pal. We have him (thanks to his spearheading the movement quite vocally for years) to thank for the return of Hal Jordan and the sidelining of Kyle. Still cheeses me off.
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I mean, I've known the answer for, what, at least six months now? It's this simple: Marvel announces a big storyline affecting the entire Marvel Universe and directly tied to mutants. Marvel announces HoM follow-up title called 198. Gee, I wonder how many mutants will be left alive at the end of HoM #8?
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So the guy goes to the store and buys Indefinititivity Crisis because of all the hype and happens to DISLIKE it because, after all he's a human being and is entitled to opinions and shit, and he gets the DON'T LIKE IT DON'T BUY IT argument? Already?! I get what the guy's saying, "You don't get thanks for saving the buring building you deliberately set on fire" perfectly sums up what i feel about this project: Listen kids, we know the books have been bad for a while now, but here's the twist...wait for it...it was intentional!!! You've been spending your hard earned money on intentionally bad comics :D LOL". Yeah, make mine Vertigo.
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Bringing in the Arabian fables gives the series a terrific shot in the arm. It's one of those rarest of rare titles that really never lets me down. I'm not as thrilled with the one-shot backstory issues as with the ongoing story, but I've yet to hit a stinker. Best comic on the stands.
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It's funny how you slammed my point of view yesterday but can't take it in return. You wanna bash DC and IC? Have at it then, just don't expect me to sit back and let you and the rest rant unchecked. After all, it's not like you're doing me or anyone else that likes it that favor either now are you? As the old saying goes: 'You can dish it out but you can't take it, huh?'Don't want your anti-DC slant taken to tack? Better take it elsewhere then because I am here for the duration. (*_^)
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have you got around to 'getting' the 303 books from the 'DC' source I mentioned a while back? That is in the case you can't get them from your lcs, of course. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? If you 've read them, tell me what you thought.
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I like that book quite a bit but I never buy it because it costs $3 and takes 3 minutes to read. The thing is if it were Marvel they'd also put them out in $6-$7 digests which would be perfect for the material in every way. I did read one Plastic Man last November with President Lex Luthor that spoofed the Bush administration and Identity Crisis in one brilliant issue. The last panel was something like Superman saying "I'm sorry about all this, I'm just overly emotional because of the Identity Crisis," with Luthor saying "Well, I wouldn't know about that. I'm waiting for the trade." Genius!
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He's like angry or something...relax guy! I can totally take a whole bunch of shit, don't worry *hugs Psynapse*, i just happened to think your point was "If you don't like it, i'm here to tell you you're wrong, bitch!". And no i don't expect you to "sit back and take it" because where's the fun in that? Oh and i don't AGREE with what i THINK IC is APPARENTLY about and suddenly i'm anti-DC?
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Ohhh the shame! A thousand pardons, no i haven't dled 303 yet...i'm dling this huge Garth Ennis DC file for his Hellblazer issues and Hitman...but i'll get around to it my man!
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Made me want to buy the book, i congratulate you sir, your work is done.
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read that newsarama article. cleared lots up for me.
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Dude it is NOT cool to make me laugh when I'm on a rampage! Point taken, (LMFAO actually), *slaps vale on rear*. It's all good but I stand behind my 'don't like it, don't buy it' stance all the way. it's the only way I've ever spoken to either of the Big 2. (*_^)
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when do we get a catman/deadshot monthly?
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I think Wanda is the traitor in the Ultimates. I think she killed Hawkeye. Millar isn't a linear kinda guy and skipping to modern day Marvel would be a cool way to go out.
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Oct 14, 2005 3:50:06 PM CDT
Sideshow Is Right About Jesus Vs. Satan In ESSENTIAL GHOST RIDER
by buzz maverik
...which preceded the bout the South Park kids watched on pay-per-view by about 20 years. I'm hoping that Marvel can scrape together an ESSENTIAL MORBIUS THE LIVING VAMPIRE just so I can re-experience the story from ADVENTURES INTO FEAR in which Morbius swam through a sea of blood without realizing it and encountered a demon called Helleyes who was sort of green shmoo with eyes all over its' body. Helleyes ruled this island and was off his rocker. He taunted Morbius like Bugs Bunny heckling Elmer Fudd. I loved Morbius' reaction when, dying of blood lust, he realized he'd been through fathoms and fathoms of blood. He was trapped there with a cool, Kolchak-like police man named Simon Stroud who should have been given his own Marvel supernatural series, sort of a monster X-FILES.
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Wow, great call on that cover for the "milestone" issue #150, McFarlane. No, seriously, check out this link: http://tinyurl.com/an6qt It's hilarious. You know what isn't hilarious? How high the sales numbers on SPAWN still are in today's market. I mean, I don't know *anybody* who actually reads it. Crazy.
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If DC goes back to the cornball "silver age" style, I would drop pretty much every DC book I purchase. And if post-HoM Marvel is boring, I will drop it as well. I spend way too much on comics as it is, so if both of the big 2 are "going back to a simpler time," well I can save me a little money.
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...but I've come to understand that many fans are completists. A buddy of mine is generally unhappy with Bendis' DAREDEVIL but he has a complete collection of DD so he continues on, knowing what the Bendii don't, that it will change and new eras will come. I skipped all of the last CRISIS simply because Quixote or somebody reviewed the first issue instead of me and I was really busy at work and read almost no comics for about six months in '04 and never felt any need to go back. But I can see how some fans would want to know what's going on even if it wasn't their cup of drippings. Then, you get into stuff like HOUSE O' M. What do you do when you like one issue, dislike the next, hate the next, kinda like the next, etc (if yer reviewing you might as well hate 'em all because unless you love it all, yer writing insulting replies to Bendii e-mail until BMB grows hair). Since I got fired from reviewing (you rent the @$$hole clubhouse out for one illegal sex change operation and everybody craps their pants; like I wasn't going to cut them in on the dough and like they had to do anything...okay, I did ask Sleazy to close for me while I mixed up a pitcher of margaritas but since I make the best margaritas in the whole @$$hole organization, I feel it was justified) I've had no trouble dropping HOUSE O' M and haven't missed it. Now, I just buy what I like which is the Marvel Essentials. I gotta get into the DC SHOWCASES, too, but once a Marvel Zombie, always...uh, close for me, Sleazy, everybody's glass is lookin' a little low...
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There's just too much value in keeping the current audience happy, and sales tell the story on what current audiences like. I know Mark Waid blabbed that everything at DC was going old school after the CRISIS stuff wrapped, but if it's as simple as he made it sound, I'll eat my hat. Hell, I've got the "old fart" gene and even *I* don't want a true return to the Silver Age - maybe just something closer to the way DC looked immediately after the first CRISIS (that was when I signed on, by the way). I can see DC maybe, just maybe returning to that approach (and I remind the court that this was the era when Wonder Woman killed several baddies without remorse and Supes offed the Phantom Zone crooks, execution-style), but even on that count I'm skeptical. I think "Silver Age" in a modern context means stuff like Geoff Johns' FLASH, which had plenty of dark turns, or maybe something like Morrison's JLA run. But we'll see. It's the rape and murder stuff that's had DC enjoying a decent number of converts from the Marvel crowd of late. What kind of business decision would it be to ignore such a rare victory?
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Reviewers have really low senses of self-esteem, so we need all the compliments we can get or we'll just start doling out negative reviewers to lash back at the world. C'mon, it's Psych 101. (Seriously: Thanks. Ya never know if you're talking into the wind sometimes...)
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Oct 14, 2005 5:07:02 PM CDT
Don't Know About DC, But I Think HOUSE O' M Fall Out Cou
by buzz maverik
I think, if done right, it could modernize Marvel, make it more realistic. One reason I enjoy THE ULTIMATES so much from time to time is that Bryan Hitch's art conveys the freakishness, the oddity of these characters in their world. People think Millar is making it realistic because he has the characters behave like jerks and talk like ... well internet geeks like us ("Who'd play AICN in a movie? Uh, well, if Vince Vaughn would shave his head he could play Ambush Bug and if Owen Wilson would dye his hair black, he could play Sleazy. We got Paulie Shore for See Thru and some Latin guy for El, either Tom Cruise or Richard Gere for Homer...") but it's really Hitch showing us how unusual the characters look that provides the realism. Superheroism (and its' sub-category mutation) should be rare, freakish and bizarre. Mutants are never the next step in evolution. In nature, most mutants are sterile. They shouldn't go back to 60s style (why would they do that? we can read the originals any time we want) but the number of super characters actually made more sense and was more realistic.
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...Theordore Sturgeon's novel MORE THAN HUMAN (the same characters behave like X-Men at times and Brotherhood at others) instead of latter day Claremont. But, man, if they could hit on 26 year old Claremont style working with newcomer Dave Cockrum...it ain't fine art, but it's gritty rock and roll, bay-bee!
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And not just because he's old-school, either. Anyone who's read interviews with him knows he's not just an old-school generalist - no, he's got this uber specific, "You have to have been *me*, Alex Ross, watching SUPERFRIENDS in 1977, but even then imagining it done all realistic-like!" version of old-school running through his head that's just insane. So what interests me is that because of the guy's craft level and undisputed crowd-pleasing ability (f which I'm only occasionally a fan), he's got so much power that he can say pretty much anything without fear of reprisal from his bosses and he can even pick and choose what he wants to do. He's a bit like Byrne at his peak, but maybe even more of a superstar. Personally, I like the avant-garde Grant Morrison kind of superstar better, but Ross is still interesting to watch. Remember when he crowed about Hal coming back? Ooh, I bet you were ready to kill him there, Sleazy! It was fascinating, though. Here's a guy who was actually working for DC then and there, and he was all but saying "Kyle Rayner sucks ass." It's one of those cases Buzz talks about sometimes, where the creators exceed their creations when it comes to drama. I guess sometimes it's fun to watch a jerk in the spotlight. It's also occasionally fun to watch 'em go down in flames, but Ross seems relatively flame-retardent these days.
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Yessir. In fact, the origin of the "woogedy" Metamorpho running with the Outsiders was explained when the real, more "clean-edged" version showed up to absorb the double back into his system. Yes, I agree Morph is an expendable commodity hero, but the story was an interesting riff on the standard issue clone dillema -- which is to say, "If they are capable of independant thought and reason, then are they human?" Morph was adamant early on, claiming that the imposter was no more than a hair or nail clipping, once a part of his being that had been offshot and he aimed to claim possession of what was rightfully his. Later on, the group succeeded in getting the real Morph to reconsider, but only after a healthy bout of Morph on Morph action.
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I love the "freak" aspects of the Ultimates, and of superheroes in general. Morission knew the X-Men were really fucking weird and wrong, and wrote them that way. Bill Seintkeiweitcxz and Bret Blevins both knew this about the New Mutants, and drew them this way. I love the idea that these superheroes are fucked-up freaks, because they are! It'll take me some time but I have a mental list somewhere in my head of writers and artists who conveyed the "freak" aspect of the characters best (with Steve Ditko being their godfather). It's also why I've always gravitated more to Marvel than DC. How can you have a character like Hawkman and treat him normal? Look at him, for crying out loud! That character design...that weapon! Hawkman should be cool. He should be punk-rock cool. And yet I've never read a book with Hawkman and thought "wow, he's cool". Bah. *** As for your DC Essential...I mean, Showcase books, Buzz: while I'm enjoying the Superman one quite a bit in small doses, I'd bet even money that Jonah Hex will be the first really compelling one.
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just gas it up before u bring it back! great reviews sorry im late but work is CRAZY!why cant people pay their mortgages on time so i can spend more time on comic book message boards.***puts arms on vale and psynapse shoulers***im glad im not going to have to give my "this message board is a friendly place dont ruin it" speech. you boys play nice.
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I could go for a margarita right now. But it's autumn so I'll go with hot apple cider and Wild Turkey (I know, I know, I can't afford Maker's or Knob Creek right now--leave me alone). But my boss just got me the Land of the Dead directors cut DVD for my birthday so I'm going home to kick up my feet with some Wild Turkey and watch that. Talk about living!
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I dunno if it was "punk rock cool", but I thought Ostrander did a pretty great job of making Katar both an asskicker and political revolutionary. Had him wearing Tim Truman's sci-fi version of the costume, though, not the bare-chested classic. ***** Oh, and on the topic if "freak artists", I think that was one of the things I liked about two of the stalwarts on Morrison's NEW X-MEN: Frank Quitely and the much-loathed Igor Kordey. But I was totally into Kordey's stuff, hurried as he's admitted it was. Paul Pope draws good freaks, too. If he were to draw a mainstream book (and yes, I know I've railed against this stuff before), I'd want him on a sexy, weird revamp of NEW MUTANTS that took Sienkiewicz's run as its guiding light. Freak artists! Good topic!
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I was on a zombie high after the fine that was 28 DAYS LATER and the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake (haters, step off), and I ended up passing on LAND because I was actually afraid it might taint said high. I gotta know. Tell me if the food's poisoned or not.
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Yeah but Supes also went freaking nuts after that and went all Sybil on us if you remember forming his own badass wannabe Batman split personality identity know as Gangbuster because of the "choke" horror of what he had to do...lame. That's when I knew that the greatness of the re-vamped Superman wasn't going to last. That and Bibbo...christ, talk about another awful idea...
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It turns out the deleted stuff is an aside, not edited in a la LOTR. Though I haven't watched it yet. The movie itself is great though. If you can get past the transparent allegory of a plot and the somewhat expositional dialogue, there's some great gore, and a truly sly, wicked, dark sense of humor. I mean, it opens up with a zombie brass band crudely playing their instruments in a gazeebo...talk about having me at hello!
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Well, there are some obvious ones...Jae Lee, Sam Keith, Richard Corben. I think Steve Dillon qualifies, and I'd LOVE to see him on a book like Fantastic Four (never happen). Juan Bobillo--too cute? I don't know, but I'm so thankful Marvel's giving Juan another go-around. Old-school freak artists? That may be a Buzz topic. By the way, what is it with so many "freak artists" (Quitely, Corben, Dillon, Bobillo) and their chins?
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For what it's worth, Marvel is soliciting a limited-series called something like "X-Men: The 198" (not to be confused with "The 4400"). I'm wildly here guessing that there will be approximately, if not exactly, 198 mutants left in the Marvel Universe after HoM. Since JoeQ has been tipping this for a while now, where is the excitement/ impact in it actually happening. Does anyone care? What about the 17 comic readers under the age of 25? Now known as "The 17."
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What about Bill Sienkiewicz? His art was crazy back in the day! But he's a freaking brilliant artist. Check out his work: http://tinyurl.com/d9pb4 He's amazing!
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Hi guys. I've done my reading. >:)
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I hear ya Kal-El. Just got off @ 10:03 PM, started @ 9:00 AM!!!! But at last, I'm too tired (right when Kal, Thalya get here and when Vale & psynapse are about to hug) to stay any longer. Vale, let psynapse know that he has to stay here a long time before he moves you buddy. Although, I do agree w/ a lot of what he's said. *** Thalya - Blake & Lawton. How cool are they? : ) I'm ready for their series blackthought. G'night Cogs
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Blondie Bear: Old Times? You read it Lady Calc?
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For folks who may not be familiar with the DCU and the Multiverse
check out the following......
the annotated Crisis on Infinite Earths:
http://www.io.com/~woodward/chroma/crisis.html
to learn about comic book history and use as a character reference:
http://www.toonopedia.com/
or search
http://www.wikipedia.org/
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Nah, I missed out on Spike.. I just can't bring myself to read the Buffyverse comics...it's just not the same.. As for Catman and Deadshot - what a pair. Some damn fine writing on Gail's part. I just hope she's been saving Calcy up for his BoP arc. I'm a little confuzzled about the Lexii myself, too. From what I can estimate, if only one of them has the power suit, then our Lex/Mockingbird has been planning something with Calculator (who I, more and more, think has been conspiring with Brainiac on something), which means Noah's playing both sides. About the other Lex and Pariah - dunno. BUt now to make with the KRACK-OOMs if I can stay awake..
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Was horrible. The allegory was clearly paramount to Romero, logic be damned, regardless of whether or not anything fit within the canon he defined himself. In Romero's universe, a zombie should not and would not ever put bloodlust aside and instead waste human flesh with a weapon. And the "He's just looking for a home," line... sloppily heavy handed. Could go on but lack the strength. Sad how Romero has gone the way of Carpenter.
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Oct 15, 2005 1:09:07 AM CDT
Damn, I never knew about the Supes execution follow-up, Superher
by dave_f
I mean, I knew he exiled himself in space and all, but I stopped reading the instant Byrne left, so I just assumed he angsted out a bit, saved some alien civilizations, and worked through it like a man. So he became Gangbuster?! Oy. Sometimes it's better not knowing, I guess. Looking at that kind of decline from a broader spectrum, I drift back to when I was a kid and could only buy a comic or two each week at most. That meant I scrutinized the convenience stores, or if I bought I three-pack from the supermarket, I made damn sure at LEAST two of 'em were titles I liked. But I didn't follow any extended runs, really, except for when I subscribed to AMAZING SPIDER-MAN for a few years. Everything else I got was pretty spotty, and the funny thing is...even in retrospect, I can see I did really well with a lot of my choices. Made good picks, avoided bad runs, and rarely even considered the highs and lows of a series over time because I didn't have the money to follow 'em. All things considered, it ain't a bad way to deal with superhero universes. You see enough continuity that it's always exciting and you feel there's a wealth of possibilities just around the corner, but you get to miss out on a lot of bad stuff. And if a character dies, well, unless you happened across an issue where they were resurrected (and there weren't no internet to disseminate such stuff), then as far as you were concerned...they stayed dead! Sometimes I even wish I could return to those days. I'd still have a dead Phoenix, the last I'd know of Drax the Destroyer would the AVENGERS issue where his daughter Moondragon killed him, and Odin's death during Simonson's legendary THOR run would never have been revoked (and then reinstated).
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Ok i liked Land of the dead a lot. Wasn't perfect and some of the Big Daddy stuff was quite heavy handed but still, i liked it. Recently, i saw the original Dawn of the dead and it blew me away! I was so fucking impressed with that movie...i had high expectations and i was still blown away, that's something you don't get every day.
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Dude's a pin-up artist, not a comic guy. He should design posters. **** Corben? Most definitely. His people are just unrelentingly, heroes and villains alike. Love it. Sam Kieth's a great call too. Bobillo? He's borderline. You're right, Sideshow, his stuff is just a little too cute, but he exhibits the same reaction from fans of pretty-boy art as the freak artists do, so he gets an honorable mention. I think Frank Miller is probably up for candidacy, though, especially these days, but really since the original DARK KNIGHT. Kelley Jones is definitely a freak artist with his rib-fetish - I just don't think he's that good. Guy Davis? Big ol' freak artist. And my last pick of the night: LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN's Kevin O'Neill.
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my school has like 5,000 trades and hardcovers or something and it's a pleasure to read pretty much all the sweet books of old and recent and plastic man: on the lam by kyle baker i checked out last week and it absolutely kicked ass...so i agree with all the plas recommendations...now i must continue my read of spidey/human-torch: i'm with stupid...oh dan slott, you make me laugh...marvel should give you the keys to the playhouse. oh and blake and lawton...good god yes...right now i'm using hypnotic suggestion on DC editors to make that book happen...first though i have to go google hypnotic suggestion so know what it is ;)...i have some feeling that it's got something to do with kool-aid.
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The original Marvel creators, Kirby and Ditko. What made Kirby's golden gods freaky was that he most often drew from an observer's perspective. I noticed in the glorious, missed by all Liefeld/Lee/Larsen/other Image founder heydays at Marvel that more and more, we were taken closer into the panel and had a participant's experience, which was interesting when Neal Adams started it but definitely makes the characters too familiar for my tastes. We should be too familiar with Peter Parker or Ben Grimm or Clark Kent, but we should feel awe at Spider-Man dropping in on the Sinister Six, the Thing being knocked across Yancy Street by Darkoth the Death Demon, and Superman carrying a downed UFO out of Metropolis. Ditko, a brilliant cartoonist, drew such realistic scenarios for Spidey (albiet probably dated at the time)that there was more than novelty to a guy using hit robot arms to light a smoke: the guy was a freak. Oddly, Alex Ross first got my attention as a freak artist. Jerkiness aside (be a pro; lots of fans grew up with Kyle as their Green Lantern, etc, I hadn't bought a comic book for a year or two when I saw some of the MARVELS' artwork. Using scenarios by Jack, Steve and Stan (whose contributions Ross denies, thus being himself what he claims to hate) Ross brought out the freak with realism. A flight of Sentinels over the dark Manhattan sky was again a frightening thing. Giant Man stepping across a city block inspired amazement and hope. Even the Black Knight on winged horse spraying noxious gas clouds from his lance took on a new sense of menace and horror. Although I really don't advocate one company over another these days, Ross' artwork is perfect for pointing out the difference between Marvel and DC characters. The Marvel icons, created mostly in the 1960s, are freakish and weird. There's something other and outside about them. The DC icons, as drawn by Ross, created from the 1930s to the 1960s, look like normal people (I'll swear Ross doesn't even try to buff 'em up or trim down the paunch any more)in funny suits. This is why young kids, who are future comic readers, are first drawn to the DC guys. When you're unsure of how the world operates, it's easier to start fantasy closer to reality. By now, the Marvel icons have been around long enough to have some degree of familiarity and inspire a level of comfort, but budding Marvel zombies are usually a little older and more able to relate to the freak qualities. Bryan Hitch has been able to use realism to convey both physical freakishness and extreme personality in THE ULTIMATES until now, but I find it waning as time goes on by the nature of the project. As we see more super-beings in that universe, the more blah it is becoming. The giant special forces operatives really don't have the impact they should, when you compare them to the simple, strange, vaguely unwholesome qualities of that cover with normal sized but costumed Pyms, or even the first appearance of Hawkeye and the Widow, the most normal looking Ultimates, striding to their mission. Writers and editors have a lot to do with this too. It has to be a hard job. You can't have people in the comic universe not recognizing the Silver Surfer when he's no doubt been seen and filmed a million times in the Marvel universe, but you can't do the thing Chris Claremont and his editors did late in his original X-MEN run: "Is yer bar insured against superhero battles?" "These days, ya gotta be..." A-ha-ha. That's the Juggernaut battling a man made of solid steel. Or lines like "With mutants and superbeing becoming commonplace today..." They should never be common place. That's another kind of story. Realism is a tool in fantasy stories. In good fantasy stories, it should be a rule.
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You gotta stay away from people's fan fiction. Well, off to the comic shop. Here's hoping the X-Men are once again snared by the Hellfire Club as lead by their arch-foe, the loathsome but luscious White Queen, Ms. Emma Frost!
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In regards to Infinite Crisis #1 and the Supermen's destruction of the barrier at the end.
As quoted in Who's Who 14...
"[Alexander Luthor's] power was eliminated upon opening the final door into that unknown limbo, and that door can never be reopened without the complete and utter destruction of all life everywhere." Neat, I wonder if anyone at DC remembers that, if they do... well can't be good -
Oct 15, 2005 9:35:52 AM CDT
LAND OF THE DEAD Is A Glorious Feast of Olde-Skool, Hammer-Subtl
by zombiesolutions
eat those Republicans, my zombie friends! EAT EM UP!!! mwoo ha ha!!! (it's great. buy it, watch it, love it.) ______ all zombie drooling aside, i, of course loved it, but it isn't quite the epic i wanted it to be. still, it's a nice coda for my favorite horror series of all time. i loved every entrail ripping second of it. the opening bit of zombie domesticity in the bandshell alone won my heart. if your a fan of Romero, you won't be dissappointed...
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Oct 15, 2005 11:00:07 AM CDT
Land of the Dead is one of the worst movies I've ever seen
by homer sexual
I loved Night and both versions of Dawn. But Land is wretched. The camera work sucks, the makeup is beyond awful--big daddy is clearly not a zombie, he just has a little makeup on his nose and cheeks. Abyssmal writing and directing. Worse than Escape From LA. Worse than Bewitched. Worse than one can imagine! And not in a good way, a la Showgirls. Stay away, Dave, it will stain your love of the first two.
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I'm debating whether to go point by point here, but I'm thinking about saving the nitty gritty point-by-point for next TB. At most basic, I'm in Psynapse's and Heathen's camp on this. What they said. IC is the epicenter of epic character-based genre storytelling in the world right now. Used to be X-Files, then Buffy and Angel, now this, and should continue in the DCU for much time to come with all they're going to be doing and establishing. Now, for those who are arguing "IC stinks because DC messed up their own universe and then decided to make a few years of even more unpalatable-to-me stories just to make a big point with the Crisis when the big point is they should never have screwed up their universe in the first place", a few bits of Drama 101. With something as unwieldly-to-control as a far-reaching comic universe as the DCU, continuity mixups, bad stories and bad choices are going to happen, that much is inevitable. That the high-ups on this project have recognized it and formulated and enacted a plan that will address and rectify and make sense of all these problems WITHIN THE STORY ITSELF (instead of doing a reboot) is going to be landmark in the field of alltime storytelling if they can pull it off, this is severe making lemonade (out of lemons). Drama's about ups and downs and they're utilizing the Phoenix Principle here ('darkest before the dawn', 'once you hit rock bottom, all you can see is up'). In the end because they're going so far into crisis the goodness that comes out of the resolution is going to be that much more meaningful to characters and readers alike. If you don't have these ups and downs then you're flatlining. *** All that said, on the actual book, dear lord, isn't it beautiful?! And only 7 pages of ads! Some basic story comments: isn't Bruce a total ponce for throwing a hissyfit in the remains of the Watchtower while Gotham (aka the city he doesn't let other capes in without his say-so because it's _his_ city)'s being decimated by the remains of the RoE and Spectre? Did anyone else think "For the Man Who Has Everything" with the Trinity and Mongul? And Heathen, I think Nightwing'll be ok, look at the OMAC technobabble: he's an exception to the rule, I think. Besides, it's illogical to have all the OMACs gang up on a non-meta human, Brother Eye would understand that. I think this could be the story where after all this time he pulls a Wally West (just where does this Red Robin w/Deathstroke story fit in, though?).
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How the hell are they going to resolve all this in just 7 issues? We haven't even gotten the big villain (Anti-Monitor, no doubt) yet.
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It's still a decent bourbon, and that 101 really does the trick. Drink on, my friend.
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and where oh where is the joker?
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Jae Lee can do the freaks just fine. Did you see he & Morrison's 1234 mini? Terrific story of some really weird people and their really weird lives. Too bad Jae blew all the FF goodwill he won with his recent "Ultimate FF Annual", wherein he and Millar had a contest to see who could mail it in more. *** Yeah, Sleazy, Wild Turkey is OK. It can be a bit tougher going down than some of the bourbon I prefer but it still hits the spot on a crisp October evening. And the price difference between Turkey and Knob Creek is just enough to buy the Essential Werewolf by Night to read while sipping it.
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...you made the right call, Bob. Two quality bargain buys for one good time.
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rob liefeld draws really good freaks...seriously good...huh? you mean those are supposed to be normal people?...imagine that.
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"Escape From L.A." Now my love for the original ESCAPE flick, which was like a surrogate family member growing up, knows no bounds, but ESCAPE was so spectacularly awful it actually threatened to tarnish it. If DAY OF THE DEAD is even near that same benchmark, let alone potentially worse...I may have to pass. At least till I chance across it on cable or find a friend who owns the DVD. You have made me know fear.
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One of these days you're going to read Morrison's NEW X-MEN and love it.
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At the time I thought it was pretty crap, but at the time I wasn't feeling like any friend to Morrison either, so who knows? Maybe time's healed the wounds. My beef with Jae Lee, though, probably won't ever go away. Look, the guy doesn't draw backgrounds. He just doesn't. He draws vague indicators of backgrounds, and maybe actual background every dozen pages or more. That, to me, is unforgivable. It's like the guy in high school who could draw badass superheroes, but only in poses and never with any kind of context. How can you tell a story without backgrounds?! That ULTIMATE FF Annual was particularly egregious, but the guy brings the same approach to *everything*. All his gothy mood bullshit and immaculately designed figures count for for precisely ZIP when weighed against this crippling failure. Same goes for that guy who draws FELL, by the way. These guys showcase totally amateur weaknesses and are being forgiven far, far too easily in the name of "style." ******* Aside: yes, it's possible to have a story with no backgrounds or sense of setting. Some kind of avant-garde story would justify it. Something by Alan Moore, sure. But as a defining element of one's style on every single project? Nuh-uh. That's kiddie stuff that every art director at the major companies should laugh off.
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I dunno, Dave, I think you've been spoiled by Hitch these days. A LOT of great artists have not drawn backgrounds in past decades. Heck, the early 80s were FULL of stuff like this in classic tales: http://tinyurl.com/aeknr
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Oct 15, 2005 9:21:34 PM CDT
Land of the Dead was OK and (Homer, that's more or less) my
by gus nukem
I liked Land of the Dead. I haven't watched any of the original Dead films, nor the remake. (I have watched Knightriders, though). I know that I liked this film. It was scary, entertaining and relevant. It felt right and its points not only on politics, but on the human condition in general were valid - I suppose that would be the way things would be, if one was living in a similarly fucked up situation. I find George Romero one of the few people who empathize with and accurately describe the underdog and the human rabble, without being pretentious. Hell, I did care for the zombie people (an incredibly racist quote, if I lived in one of the zombie alternate Marvel Universes). And all that, by means of the zombie horror genre. As for terrible directing, writing and makeup effects, I simply disagree.
Hell, you people think X2 the best comics to film ever. Now, that was pure shit. It was to Lee, Claremont and Morrison's X-Men what McDonald's products are to real meat. All wrapped up in a supposed shiny leather, badass, cool exterior for the outcast kidz to sympathize with. I didn't like it. Everybody felt like a caricature (of characters mostly portrayed in the monthlies as caricatures) similar to Wolverine always smoking a cigar and being the resident smartass. The only virtues I found were its 2 great actors, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen striving to bring to light the buried allegories of the X-men mythos. Unfortunately, they were drowned by Jackman's Wolverine, Marsden's Cyclops, Kelly Hu's (Lady) Deathstrike and so on. I felt that a mediocre script which didn't quite get the X-men and a director who tried to combine these X-men allegories with an inept big budget action film ruined the film, both as an X-men adaptation and as a big budget eyepopper. Of course, the film was a financial success and most people disagree with me, but I had to voice and back up my dislike of it; and hey, a huge financial success and massive public acceptance don't necessarily make something good. -
Just got back from seeing Serenity. My hand was over my mouth for at least a full minute after Wash got it and I was spoiled and I knew exactly when it would come because it's Whedon's style to do it suddenly when you're supposed to feel safe. Still shaken up, actually.. I might just have to check Spike out then, Heathen. And on Nightwing, maybe Batman put some failsafes in regarding the whole Bat-family? Though it wouldn't explain why OMACs are going after Tim Drake. I wonder what 'Truth and Justice' implies. And I wonder why there was, in the first panel from the four behind the portal who were watching Superboy, so much of an emphasis on Flash and his Rogues (and dear lord, that panel alone explains why they needed two colorists)..
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CRASH!!! DIE!!!!" I know, I was honestly shocked for a good 5 minutes. I thought, why not Simon? And then he got shot and I was like, "No! Not Simon gorram it!!!" Wash was sooo cool too.
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I don't often read your posts because you put spoilers in too much (and I'm constantly behind on my reading/watching), but can you please keep them out of the %$^!!# subject header? I literally just finished watching Firefly last night and was planning to see Serenity tomorrow.
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And I was going "No! Serenity!" when she was crashing and getting her engines knocked off. Talk about a 10th character. And then River went all Buffy and she really needed a hunga munga instead of an axe at the end to wink to the audience. And it seemed _everyone_ was gonna die and the Reavers are the scariest space monsters since the Alien tetrology.. and and and..
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I apologize. I'll remember to put warnings in from now on. Obviously don't read my last post.
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I was wondering about that too. Good point about the OMACs attacking Tim though. Hmm. And I have know idea about the Red Robin (was that what Dick called himself?) and Deathstroke thing either.
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Yeah, but to be fair, the movie has been out for 2 weeks now and isn't exactly making a lot of money sadly so I kinda thought it was safe for Serenity spoilers too. But, sorry to have that ruined for you sideshow. What did you think of the show? I'm glad at least 2 people went to see it this weekend though.
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And just to add, I _was_ spoiled about the character, in this very series of TBs moreover. It in no way ruined my enjoyment of the film and I'm kinda grateful I was spoiled because it's still sitting heavily with me and that's due to the excellent execution of it all. Call it The Joss Whedon School of Pain, if you will.
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...'Cause first off, that's a Byrne page, and while Byrne might let the backgrounds fall out for a close up melee (perfectly fine stylistic decision), he's never slouched on 'em as a whole. Guy does plenty of establishing shots, always included neat little details like Reed Richards' collapsible X-Mas tree or the stuffed animals and posters in Kitty's bedroom. There is a world - a vast WORLD of difference - between Byrne, or any artist who skips backgrounds on a few pages...and those artists who essentially draw NO backgrounds.
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But a good rule of thumb is to make it clear what book/comic/movie/tv show you are talking about before launching into spoilers, so folks can skim over it if they so choose. Like a lot of people did in this thread with Mellon Collie and the Infinite Crisis. It won't hamper my enjoyment or lack of enjoyment of the movie. I do plan to buy a ticket for Wallace and Gromit then sneak into Serenity so the browncoats don't get my $$. *** What did I think of Firefly? Out of the 14 episodes I thought maybe 5 were great, 5 were good, and 4 were outright stinkers. So it fell into some inconsistencies but it did grow on me as it went on. It's a bit cruel that the best episode by far was the last one, isn't it?
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None other than Joey Q. Not so much these days (now he's just a con artist), but in his X-Factor days? You bet.
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Oct 15, 2005 10:40:29 PM CDT
Steve Leialoha was a freak artist at times. And Tony Salmons. An
by dave_f
I never saw Joey Q's old art, but I bet he was a freak artist a bit like these guys were. Freaky, but not TOO freaky. ***** Regarding FIREFLY, Bob, I think I probably liked the series a touch better than you did overall, but your breakdown is pretty fair. I hadn't seen the unaired episodes until a few days before SERENITY, and that one where the crew protects the whorehouse? Crap-on-a-stick, what a stinker! **SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHAT AIN'T SEEN THE EPISODE** When the madame of the bordello got capped at the end, I about turned off the DVD then and there. Bad, bad, bad cliches. And the chase sequence at the end blew, too. For just a split second, when we see Mal on the horse, I thought we'd get an Indy Jones style "man-on-horse challenges evildoers in steel" kind of match-up, and all would be redeemed (there's no image more innately heroic than a man on a horse), but as it turned out...nah, just a kind of limp chase sequence ensued. Also hated the second outing with Space Jezebel (whatever her name was). You're right, though...that last episode is one of the best, and kind of cleanses the palate of the missteps.
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I didn't follow any of it, but if Sideshow's actually trying to spite the movie some money to piss 'em off, I guess it was as ugly as everyone said. Too bad. I think Joss, for those times he's really "on", deserves all the success he's had and much more. Hate to think of some schmucks dragging him down. Y'think they went rabid because they never got the validation that, say, the STAR WARS movies received? STAR WARS stuff gets crapped on by critics, but gets near-universal popular approval (well, the original ones anyway), and certainly has the physical proof of large-scale acceptance in the form of Lucas's giant-ass money vault. Whedonites never got that. Never saw their shows become truly mainstream (even if critics *did* like it), and probably had to endure years of people sneering at the very notion a show with "Buffy" in the title could be anything but trash. What I'm saying is: they got STAR WARS penis envy and went insane.
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...God, I couldn't believe my eyes as it was happening. *Brutal* That extended slooooow "romance" dialogue straight out of General Hospital, followed by the straight-to-Cinemax sex scene? Nooooo!!!!!!!
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I'm just kidding. Actually I'm hoping to do a 2 for 1 movie day tomorrow, so maybe I'll end up paying for W&G then sneaking into Serenity after. Who wouldn't rather see Wallace and Gromit sequels than Firefly sequels anyway?
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what did you figure for the stinkers? *** G'night folks. Until tomorrow
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the end credits.
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If we're in the "Age of the Writer" then it's no wonder that a lot of books are using photo reference, realism, and Hitch-lite art for invisible storytelling and a sheen of professionalism. As "real" is easier on the eye, and in the case of photo reference, on the artist, it can also be a crutch. So to rough things up a bit and bring some appropriate character back into some of these characters, it would be cool to get the freak artists back on some of the major books. Remember when there was at least the slightest difference between the Spidey books? Make one creepy and give to Jae Lee and he'll spend all day making cool-looking webs and Spidey poses that'll haunt your dreams. And now that Corben is all en vogue, get him on Hulk pronto. "Banner" was the Hulk.
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it's a smart, hip, witty, inventive, and crackling good sci-fi yarn; if your unwilling to give it a chance, too bad for you. i loved it. and so did most critics. it did modest / decent biz for a movie with no stars, but i doubt we'll see a sequel. too bad. at least they got the movie done. _______ in regards to Buffy/Angel. they were likewise smart, hip, witty, and inventive takes on various horror, superhero, and romance comic tropes. at they're height they were two of the best shows on television. again, if you missed these shows, or refuse to give them a chance because of the name, or because women like them (the subliminal misogyny that underlies much of geekery), too bad for you. close-mindedness from the fringe? that's got self-hatred written all over it.
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So, scrap one of the Spidey books and make Dan Slott's Spidey/ Torch a regular series, jumping off from the last issue where Peter reveals his secret identity. Play up the more juvenile aspects of these two characters as they struggle to be the adults they are AND have it drawn by Paul Pope and Spider-Man can actually be cool again. I take my Spider-Man quirky and ugly and Pope as an artist would tap those roots and be the first real step into the 2000s for the character (even though Pope's such a 90s artist). Give Spidey a Black and White series like Bat Man but have guys like Flaming Carrot's Bob Burden or Jaimie Hernandez do a take on him and I'll start buying. Besides, are there any young artists who are drawing something interesting and not merely something that looks right, wow!, and slick?
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Oct 16, 2005 11:33:54 AM CDT
Speaking of Paul Pope, This BATMAN YEAR 100 Thingee Looks Coolne
by zombiesolutions
http://www.comicon.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=36&t=004018
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Thanks for the link Zombie - great article. Pope's "Solo" definitely made me take notice. His Robin story was conscious of the campy Bat Man TV show (he actually drew the Romero facial hair through Joker's pasty face) but made it look loud and thuggish and even frightening.
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Oct 16, 2005 1:20:41 PM CDT
Yeah, we all geeked-out over BATMAN: YEAR 100 in the TalkBacks a
by dave_f
Well, the freak-lovers anyway. Book looks beautiful, and beautifully colored to boot. You fans of the Papacy...you all checked out Pope's 100% from Vertigo, right? I think it's the best thing he's done. ******* Pope on Spidey? I'm a'scairt of any bitchin' indy type becoming enmeshed in corporate superheroes these days - it's a web that's trapped many - but on a purely hypothetical level, I'd certainly enjoy seeing Pope draw the wall-crawler again. For, indeed, Pope drew a TANGLED WEB story a few years ago! Was about a girl obsessed with Spider-Man even as her pop was a mob-type who hated him, and was actually kind of "blah" (sad but true), but the scene where the girl sees Spidey has one of my favorite ever Spider-Man drawings. Behold the unbridled kinetic energy in this uncolored art: http://tinyurl.com/djugg I even like the manga-style sound effect: "FLIPT!"
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which is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. unfortunately, his stories are uneven. 100% was great. Heavy Liquid was pretty cool too. Ditto THB and Escapo. but there was a while there where he just published what appeared to be sketch books or roughly thought out ideas as finished products? pretty bad. another thing that drive me nuts about him though is this contrived "hipster" thing he has going on? like trying to be a rockstar comics artist? it's really irritating. like trying to hard. BUT, his artwork is just pure genius. beautiful. i bet this BATMAN comic is going to be something else... probably will turn alot of hardcore Batfans off though, i reckon...
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He's one of the few artists I'll follow on pretty on pretty much any project, but his writing's very uneven. Usually interesting, but often unfocused and lacking bite. I sort of like his hipster bohemian thing, though, because I do think he "lives the life" (for whatever that's worth). He's not as entertaining for his persona as Morrison, though. And I think I've seen more photos of the artist than I have for any other creator. Guy reaaaally likes to look at himself. "Look at me! I'm an artiste smoking a cigarette! I'm ruggedly handsome!" But it's something different, at least. That actually counts for something. And you're right, Zombie, that most Batfans are gonna react to his work like milk gone sour. Price of being a freak artist.
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You can pick up one of his books after not reading him for a while, open up to ONE PANEL, and immediately be transported to his world. How many other artists can you say that about? I say none, with due respect to the many creators I love...even some I love more than Pope. I finished rereading 100% just last night and it holds up marvelously to return visits. 100% is odds-on favorite for the best graphic novel of the year for yours truly.
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And that reminds me, I should probably start taking notes for our second annual @$$ie @wards. I'm already sensing love for SPIDEY/TORCH, for Kyle Baker, for the LIFE & TIMES OF SCROOGE MCDUCK, for Takeshi Miyazawa, for TOP TEN: THE FORTY-NINERS, and for BANANA SUNDAY. Is 100% a this-year release? I guess I was thinking it was last year, but I didn't mention it in the last @%%ies, so mebbe not. I distinctly see *no* awards for ALL-STAR BATMAN & ROBIN, for SECRET WAR, and for "Wolverine v. The Holocaust." Wonder if Morrison and Quitely's SUPERMAN will be a contenduh?
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Please don't let Paul Pope stop drawing like 1 page a month of his indy awesomeness to focus on drawing fucking Spider Man! I mean he's already doing Batman fer chrissakes!
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Which would explain why it didn't make any 2004 "best of" lists. I may be wrong, but I think the trade was delayed much longer than it should have been. It was released in March or April of this year.
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Isn't he also the one guy that's drawn himself for the cover of "Solo." The self-love is strong with him and he's definitely sweatin' a hard pose but that's true of a lot of talented guys. I mean look at Alan Moore and all of the "arty" photos and drawings his friends take of... I just got hexed.
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...I just got directed the other day to a page promoting a book featuring drawings of comic book creators. Here's da link: http://tinyurl.com/dj89d Hard to imagine buying it, but it's moderately fascinating. I appreciate that Howard Chaykin looks as pervy as his characters are, and Larry Hama's portrait surely confirms what I once read that Hama himself was the visual model for Storm Shadow in G.I. JOE. How cool is that?
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benvel has crushed all indy comic creations except powers...so pope is forever to do spider-man and eric powell forever to do hulk comics and mignola is saddled with drawing spider-ham comics...wait, that probably would be cool...what was the topic again? and i could swore snake eyes was the visual model for storm shadow.
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the last 5 trades/hardcovers i've read or re-read...seaguy, plastic man: on the lam, supreme power hardcover, trinity by matt wanger, selina's big score...and now re-reading spidey/torch by slott...oh slott, you slay me everytime.
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Aside from maybe Quitely, I always thought Mark Bagley was the king of doing this. Although it seeps into everyone's work. Comes from working/practicing in front of a mirror so much as a teen, I reckon.
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i look nothing like the ppl i draw.
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Man, i'm gonna show my kids that picture of Chaykin when they misbehave and tell them that's the rapist fox news has been telling them about. I mean, when i have kids. Paul Levitz looks like a perv too. Craig Russel looks like the biggest dork the planet has seen. And did you see Millar? What a crowd.
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I look a wee bit like Howard Chaykin. Frank Miller's portrait is idealized. --- HOLY CRUD! Dave Cockrum's beard has fused with Clifford Meth and Bill Messner-Loebs's hair. The hell?! --- I believe in the Paul Pope. According to that comicon/pulse piece his Year 100 will be the bomb. His THB is also the bomb.
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michael turner looks nothing like his characters that he draws.
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Actually I did read the Plastic Man review. The dueling Specters and "heat radiated from your flab..." sounded hilarious. My local comic shop didn't have so
I may have to special order. Can't miss Plastic Cannibalism. -
I remember this mini called "american Freak" and I really liked it, and I know Vince Locke was either the writer or artist. It had good freak work. I also vote for Igor Kordey and Jae Lee. p.s.to Gus Nukem: Ok, the writing and directing are a matter of opinion, but the makeup? Why is it so much worse in 2005 than back in the 70's? The "zombies" don't look like zombies. I've had better makeup for Halloween! (Just once, when Golden Apple had professionals available).
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Oct 17, 2005 11:15:20 AM CDT
btw, I am happy not to know what the creators look like.
by homer sexual
See, Gaiman looks like what he "should" look like, in my imagination. But I really prefer not to know because if he/she looks like a total goober, it is going to make me think just a little bit less of them. (Shallow on my part, I am aware). So I'd rather be blissfully ignorant.
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Huge tits.
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Thanks all for the trade recommendations. Despite all the Big Two, House in Crisis, Sound and Fury, we are getting a lot of other good comics to read. But, not that I want to perpetuate some notion that a talented indy creator needs to "graduate" to the major properties, there still is that greedy part of me that wants to see a creator I like work on old favorite characters. On the flip side though you do have a guy like Brian K. Vaughan taking the whole superhero thing and building on it with brand new indelible characters. More to read: the new printings of the old Concrete trades and, if you can find them, anything with Reid Fleming: World's Toughest Milkman. Milk outta yer nose funny.
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John Cassaday? Maybe a little? Still awesome though. *** Dave, All Star Batman has to win something! What're you, retarded or something?!! It's Miller writing the goddamn Batman!!!! In all seriousness, I'm really interested in The Life & Times of $crooge McDuck. It's $12 bucks right Dave? 12 issues too?
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Oct 17, 2005 12:50:42 PM CDT
I Enjoy The Wild Turkey. It Was Hunter S. Thompson's Bourbo
by buzz maverik
...David Mazzuchelli (excuse the Mazzuspelling if it's wrong. Remember that panel, late in DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN, where the gangster Karen Page has hooked up with has just cut down two cops with a sawed off shotgun? I'm a little hazy on the actual sequence because of the aforementioned Wild Turkey and because often I prefer my memories of comics and movies to the comics and movies themselves, but: I think the gangster, one Palo Scorsese, was about to to shoot Karen. A shadow figure runs along the edge of a roof above and tromps on an icicle, causing it to fall and pierce Palo's arm. That's all we see of the mystery man (gee, I wonder who that was?) but there was a freakishness to it. The freakish quality made me believe that a guy could stay on a snow slick roof and hit a patch just right in order to nail a target below. One simple panel and Mazzuchelli made my believe in radar sense. That's a genuinely great comic book artist, bay-bee! I mean, I've fired shotguns about a hundred billion times. I've fired sawed off, pistol gripped shotguns about a million eighty times. Mazzuchelli showed me what it'd be like to have an icicle driven through my arm (again, it might not have been through Palo's arm, it might have just spoiled his aim, but don't tell me, I like it better the way I remember it). Wild Turkey? I like bourbon, but as you all know, tequilia is my hard liquor of choice. Patron is wonderful but my sentimental pleasure is the glories of a good Herradura. People talk about the horrors of a tequila hangover, but maybe it's must my constituion. I find tequila milder going down and the next morning. You want a harsh fucking hangover? In college, I read the Keith Moon biography FULL MOON by his handler, P. "Dougal" Butler. Moon always drank brandy or brandy and ginger (ginger ale) which I later learned is called the "drunakard's drink". I had a geek party (yeah, no girls would set foot on the same floor as my dorm room The Den O' Maverik) and that's what we drank. Hey-Zeus Mariachi! Yeah, we drank the cheap shit because we didn't know any better and couldn't afford any better (hadda save for US Festival Tickets -- saw Bowie and Ozzy and the Clash live, bay-bee)but Hey-Zeus Mariachi! Later, of course, I've enjoyed better brandies and cognacs like Courvousier in moderation, but usually after a meal with good coffee and a cigar. If I'm having a drink, I like a nice shot of Herradura.
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Sure, he's ignored backgrounds in the past, but I just read FELL. #2 this weekend. There are definitely backgrounds in the panels, much more so than with Jae Lee. They're more abstract and dreamlike, but they're there nonetheless. I've read other stuff he's drawn and felt like I could barely tell what's going on, but I feel like he's made some real improvements with the work he's bringing to the new title.
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Craig Thompson. Oh man I crack myself up.
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GreatN raises a semi-viable point in response, but we all got the gist of Cooky's David Spade-ism, so the award stands.
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I knew you'd see IC and VU as I did, Spot-on pieces of dramatic literature. **SPOILER ALERT**My fave moment in VU was Ragdoll's heartfelt turning of Grundy. Or...the reveal of Scandal and Knockout, I really can't decide. So many resonant moments throughout. Oh and screw Sideshowboob, He continually mis-spells your name Lady K! (Just kidding SSB..yer a'right but us OCD types can't ignore mis-spelled names to save our lives-lol)
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we still don't know who that was with the red cape in JLA 119 right? Ultimate Bizarro All-Star Earth-3 Sue Dibney?
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Okay, now, let's not spiral off into nutty-cuckoo land =D
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the thing with Pope is that he seems desperate to want to be considered "hip". which, as we all know, ultimately makes one completely unhip. you know? and talk about narcissm! he is a good looking guy, and good for him (i bet his girlfriend is gorgeous) but the bizarre insistance on putting himself front and center of every comic smacks of "i was a total nerd until my 20s, then all of a sudden, girls liked me! yay!" i mean, he just tries way to hard with that whole thing, you know what i mean? calling himself a "rock dandy?" dude, you're not (and never will be) a rockstar. just cut it out. you are, on the other hand, one of the greatest comics artists EVER. seriously a genius of comic art. ridiculously good. really just draw-droppingly beautiful and inventive and coolness. and thats a pretty big goddamn deal! the whole contrived persona thing (which' someone pointed out Alan Moore has to a certain extent as well) is just silly... yeah, Paul, i lived in New York and Japan too! yay for us! we're bohemian superdudes! woo!
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Someone had to say it
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keep at it! --- OT: 2 great moments for comics this week: 1) a new X-men animated series focusing on Wolverine and 2) time.com/time /2005/100books/0,24459, watchmen,00.html (watch the spaces)
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anything great...hell the other x-men cartoons were pretty wolverine centered to begin with...plus you never know if they'll make it like the batman cartoon which isn't very good at all. hawkman would whup the vultures ass...plus in spidey/human torch i loved how johnny took care of the vulture...rather hilarious...just burnt his wings to a crisp.
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Oct 17, 2005 4:18:13 PM CDT
*Spanks Dave_F...wait, omigod HE'S ENOYING IT!! The Horror!!
by psynapse
Dude this is an AICN talkback, the very real estate itself is cuckoo-land! LMFAO (*_^)
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Oct 17, 2005 5:03:46 PM CDT
They already did a crappy "The Batman" like cartoon for X-Men
by the heathen
X-Men: Evolution. Any more details about the toon Gus?
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I don't remember any other Luthors in CoIE besides the evil Lex, the hero Lex (who died), and the son of hero Lex named Alexander Luthor. I know it's not Alexander. He was in the last page of IC. So who is the impostor Lex Luthor?
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My money is that it is a heretofore unseen version of Lex. One that is intimately connected with the crisis at hand.
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Here's a quote from Byrne: "The next team -- and I have no idea who they are -- could be folks you all want to see, or, at least, more people want to see than wanted to see Gail and me. Or they could be the worst team ever put on any title, but WIZARD will declare them 'HOT!' and the knuckle-draggers will lumber into their LCSs and buy multiples of multiples." *** Sucks that there leaving (especially Simone) but he's a grouchy bastard aint he? Although, I think this statement of his was rather funny.
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Read any of the scads of interviews with the man out there. I'm convinced he spikes his morning coffee with urine and vinegar. But he also pulls no punches when slamming the inside of the comics industry.
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how goes it @$$es and cogs? as for me its been another case of the mondays but its almost over.i read IC and thought it was pretty damn sweet. also read 100 bullets and was it just me or did it seem like ****Spoilers*******the torture scene was too over the top violent?
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It goes well my friend, it goes very well. And i think the point of torture is to be over the top violent. And this is 100 Bullets...after reading the deal with Gabriel i know it's never gonna be a safe book.
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...but this one was specailly grusome!****SPOILERS*******lono removes a testicle from the dude and then proceeeds to step on said testicle!made me cringe just to read it! as for IC "This looks like a job for SUPERMAN!" wow i came a little!
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The other Luthor is the pre-Crisis EARTH 1 Lex Luthor. He's the one who was NOT a respectable businessman/President/secret criminal -- this is the one who was a balls-on bad guy for all the world to see. He's the one who kept getting thrown in jail, escaping, getting thrown in jail, escaping... He's the one who teamed up with Doc Ock to take down Superman and Spider-Man. He's the one who was the world's greatest villain on Earth but the world's greatest hero on some other planet where he had found the love of his life. He's also the one who was never fat, became bald as a teen when Superboy blew out a fire AND his hair with it, and ran around in a purple and green jumpsuit until the last couple years before CRISIS when he got the purple and green armor suit.
He's the Luthor who pretended to not remember anything about the Monitor or the CRISIS when Superman visited him in jail after the big multiple-Earth smush. Somehow he arranged to keep from being overwritten when the post-CRISIS Byrne ripple retroactively changed Superman's history and gave us chubby Donald Trump as Luthor.
Now you can see who's the bigger badass. -
Wasn't it Batman & Robin that visited that Luthor in jial after the merging of planets? If you're right Prof, how did he survive the crisis and what Earth was the Presidential Luthor from? *** Kal-El, I cringed from just you typing it. Ouch. That last page of IC is super. The more I think of this book, the more I enjoy it. I even re-read it to pick up all the little details in the story and the art. Dear lord the art is sweet. Anybody notice the Batsignal's location? Answer: The Spectres chest bay-bee!!! Forshadowing? I know Lady C thinks so.
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So did the testicle
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*cringing again* ouch.
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Funny how Society Lex considers himself the "imposter". I guess that means that since Pariah was confused about which Lex was which until corrected in #6, Mockingbird Luthor is the one who wants the golden lasso and the power ring and the watchtower on the moon (oddly sounds like E-3 Luthor, though, doesn't it? Especially since the CSA's Green Lantern is called Power Ring). ** Heathen: ;) I've been thinking Bruce as Spectre since June (which is about when I leaped into comics). Have you seen how many Bat-apologists are strenuously resisting the idea over on the DC boards? Gah..
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That Mockingbird is E-1 Lex and Society Lex is modern Lex, the characterizations just match. But where does this leave Brainiac? Are we going to see a return of the giant robot skull?
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I believe was last seen in the Outsiders/Teen Titans crossover "The Insiders" where Superboy and Indigo go awol. Lex was in the shadows during this story too. Brainiac 8.0 was awakened in Indigo and I forget most of the details, but it ended w/ that big skull in there somewhere. Crap, I'm going to have to go home and read it over again. About Bruce being the Spectre? Cool with me, especially if Batman does it in an act of heroism and not paranoia. Besides, it will last two years at most wouldn't it? But I'm sure operation "Truth and Justice" would hold down the fort. ; )
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I see what you're saying about Lex Thalya. Good point about his characterizations. Can't wait for the Roundtable on Wed. Later everybody
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delivers so nicely...question...if bruce becomes the spectre...who takes up the mantle of the bat? and where does the joker figure into all this crisis?
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Why bother? Everyone in the world knows Bruce Wayne is The Batman. They'll just have to waste more brain cells trying to figure out how to bring him back. In fact, i bet they're doing that right now, i bet that's Geoff Johns' job between 8 and 10 pm. IC stands for Illusion of Change.
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There's always All Star (unfortunate gambit that it may be). But here it is: Bruce and Joker kill each other in one final spectacular showdown. Bruce becomes Spectre, Dick becomes Batman, Barbara becomes Batwoman (and makes a delightfully dynamic duo with Dick), and Jason Todd becomes the new Mr. J. Bruce, moreover, needs to be the Spectre, his character needs it because it's the ideal place to work out his issues (I have to wonder though, if his no-killing policy will lead to more creative, non-lethal ways of vengeance..), plus there's the added bonus of reducing Bruce's age/appearance like what happened with Hal. Bruce is the one mortal in the Trinity and he has to have some way to keep up with the other two in terms of lack of aging. moviemack!? Where are you?! I say BRING IT!!!
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Oct 17, 2005 11:10:30 PM CDT
Never thought i'd say it, but i stand with moviemack on this
by el vale
Bruce Wayne needs to become the Spectre, like i need my left testicle removed and stepped on. I can see the solicit: "DC jumps the shark, Bruce Wayne is Batman no more!".
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batman...in positive ways...or just say good things about batman begins...then moviemack will come and tear it all down cuz that's his job apparently.
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Yeah this sounds like a kinda nifty idea in theory...but... Okay so maybe he turns into the Spectre and then is reborn back to living by IC #7?? THAT I could live with. But Dick taking over the Bat-Mantle? Um no. Reminds me of Erik Larsen's column on comic characters aging. With Bruce as Bats it all comes back to Crime Alley. Dick under the mask just wouldn't have the same impact. I can handle new incarnations of the Flash or GL, ect., but they don't have such a specific, motive-defining origin.
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Oct 18, 2005 8:39:17 AM CDT
That said, the idea of Babs Gordon in the Batwoman costume again
by shigeru
in the words of Darth Kal-El: I came a little.
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he should be discontinued, seeing that his whole persona is a bit... flat. MWAHA HA HA HA HA! Ok guys, bring 'em on! The contest for the lamest t-joke is on.
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Look, Batman is Bruce Wayne is Batman. They can pretend to have Bruce do other things for a while, but the truth is no one else can else will ever fit the bill. Without Bruce's origin nothing else is gonna cut it. They've had Bruce step out periodically in the past, and it always sucks. The strength of the character is his origin and his mission. Even if they had Bruce be Spectre for a year, it'd be reversed again in short order--which would be another Azrael-sized misstep for Bats. It wouldn't be any good for the Spectre, either, BTW--the character's already gone through enough the last few years. He shouldn't be saddled with another human host until he lands on one that sticks. They're part way there--they've cut that "Spirit of Redemption" namby-pamby New Agey bullshit out like the malignant tumor of sunshine and light it is--and I'd just as soon they go the right direction and find another host as appropriate as Jim Corrigan was. Please note I said "WAS", not "is": I don't know who that pretender named Jim Corrigan over in GOTHAM CENTRAL is, but I sure as shit hope they're not gonna merge him with the Spirit of Vengeance, cuz that would just piss off all the Spectre fans out there, myself included.
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i too saw the bat signal as foreshadowing and the way lady calulator lays it out actually sounds like something they would do.i agree with the people saying it has to be bruce or nobody in the batsuit.
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Oct 18, 2005 12:44:30 PM CDT
the stepped on testicle character will be discontinued-
by darth kal-el
they say hes a sad sack character!
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Oct 18, 2005 12:52:13 PM CDT
Thalya's scenario is interesting and would make a good story
by homer sexual
Bruce vs. Joker to the death! Jason Todd as the new Joker! Great Elseworlds story! But it would have negative long-term effects in the "real" DCU. I enjoy almost every aspect of Thalya's scenario, but Bruce as Spectre-Yawn. Dick as Batman-naw, not in the regular universe. He's not cold enough. And Bruce would come back just like Hal Jordan did, only sooner. So why bother? Also, much as I love IC and VU, the "2 Lexes" suck, and the return of Alexander Luthor, Earth-2 Supes and Lois, and original Superboy? Sucks, Sucks and Sucks! I know I'm in the minority here. And I still like the story overall.
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Oct 18, 2005 12:54:34 PM CDT
I think people are taking the Bat-Signal on Spectre's chest
by psynapse
I mean, think of the piece as a statement. Spectre and Bats are DC's 2 'vengeance based' major characters. I think there was commentary inherent in the image. Something along the lines of 'Here's what vengeance gets you Bats.'. Everyone focused on Batman's 'You were dead...' line but totally overlooked what Diana said to Bruce about judging everyone but himself. Some might think this to be foreshadowing of Bruce becoming the elf-booted one but thats a little too obvious I think. Say what you will about Johns, the man has a way with logical plot twists.
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The cool thing that sets Bruce Wayne apart from Superman and Wonder Woman and such is that he's not inmortal, he has no powers. He's just a regular (rich) guy who's driven like a motherfucker. That's what's special about Bruce/Batman. So what if he has no excuse for not aging? These are superhero comics, one must remember, and people can survive the destruction of a planet just because a bubble of air came with the chunk of ground they were in and because incidentally they happened to have food machines. That's what's awesome about superhero comics, not the "realistic" melodramatics.
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Because it has dropped in popularity. Thalya, you do one now.
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Bruce needs to get his vengeance freak on to get it out of his system already. Plus, if Gotham might wind up being magic-central, Bruce would be in an ideal position to continue defending his city. I could definitely see Dick as Batman, look at the latest Nightwing, he's got the persona down cold, but at the same time the persona doesn't own him. If you look at something like Identity Crisis, Bruce is portrayed like a junkie to the persona. /// To all the naysayers though, another scenario: what if the Batman title simply stops (for awhile) at One Year Later (and thereby creating much pent-up demand by the time the next movie sequel comes out)? There's rumors of a Batwoman title emerging from this. What if it's Helena? I have a feeling in my gut that we might be seeing Helena Wayne again (they never found her body in COIE #12), what with all the other dead rising and two Lexes, etc.. That, and Helena Bertinelli's origin is so close to Bruce's. Right now in BoP she's making the most of being heir to her one family, what if she's suddenly heir to her other family as well? I'm not sure how it would work (wacky merging of alternate-dimension counterparts?), but >> all I'm sure of is that at Wizard World Philly in June at the Batman panel the final day, Dan DiDio, after saying "Well, we really shouldn't be telling you this but..." proceeded to essentially say that the issue of Batman's succession would be brought up during IC.>>
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Does that count?? Does it count as double? Do I win a prize?
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Oct 18, 2005 2:23:12 PM CDT
Altho according to most people, there already IS a dick in the B
by shigeru
yeah I'll be here all week folks. Try the shrimp.
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Yes folks come right up! See the amazing, the spectacular, the peculiar, the ODDITY of oddities! Behold! The FANGIRL. She doesn't get offended by crass fanboy remarks, in fact she JOINS IN!! 10 bucks a head. We're rich!
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10 bucks a head, you say?
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out of sheer morbid curiousity, your name doesn't happen to be Laura does it?
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I'm a Katie.. and jeez, between that and Batman, did I scare off all the single guys, or..?
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I once knew a Laura who was quite similar. And yeah you think all the single cogs would be all over the ol' online message board flirting action, esp. with The Fan-Girl. But I'm a quarter century old and married so you ain't gettin no cyber from me woman!
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Tim Drake. No question. Dick Grayson is already an adult who has enough of his own thing going on and wouldn't want to give up his identity as Nightwing. Batgirl is a girl, so the closest she could get is Batwoman. Rumor is that job is taken, though the idea of getting Babs out of the wheelchair and into spandex makes me really, really angry. Huntress could never do the job--she's way too conflicted about how much violence to use, how far over the line to go, whether to kill, etc. to pull it off. Red Hood is already a merciless killer. That leaves Tim Drake: talented, intelligent, honorable, dedicated, lost his father and friend/g-f/whatever to supervillains. The only negative is that Tim has always said he doesn't want the job, but that's just one more reason he's perfect for it: he'd fight really, really hard not to slip over into the darker stuff that's been going on with Bruce. I'd be willing to bet that's how it'll shake out if DC actually addresses the issue.
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Thanks for that greatn. I'm not that crazy, though I do think I am a bit nuts...boy-crazy at the very least, but eh.. *shrugs* // Shigeru: no problemo *hands off*.
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and if there is a successor to batman it will be the joker...or perhaps christian bale will be written into DC continuity.
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...that Terry McGuinness was in the latest S/B? // greatn: you too?
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Oct 18, 2005 5:51:40 PM CDT
Even If They Make Bruce Wayne Be Something Other Than Batman & M
by buzz maverik
The answer lies in THE KILLING JOKE. If you know the true punchline of THE KILLING JOKE, then you have the answer to the comic book equivalent of the Riddle of Steel (aka the Enigma of Steel). Very few people are in on the gag. Dave F. gets it. I, of course, get it. And I'm not going to tell you. No one told Conan the answer, yet he knew he would be asked when he faced Crom in the afterlife. Stick wouldn't tell Daredevil. I'm not telling you.
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"I know something you don't!" Please, I expect slightly better than that from you Buzz. Dangling intellectual carrots is a bit beneath you wouldn't one think? I know what I THINK is the true punchline but it's my opinion. What is the distinction between my 'opinion' and your 'true knowledge' pray tell? *Backhands Buzz again* (Hey! whaddaya want from me?? It's FUN dammit!)
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...as i related in my talkback post entitled "worst week ever".and yeah she made me feel all BALLED Up inside!ZING!****high fives shigeru****well be here all week folks!
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cog smooches are attached...we try not to have attachments to save our loved ones from the pain of seeing our corpses scrapped from the walls after a mighty battle...but then again we have an abundant of batsuits lying around and according to the manufacturer we are gauranteed to survive all crisisesseseeseseseseseses...but not spelling and grammatical errors.
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Oct 19, 2005 12:27:40 AM CDT
The idea of getting Babs out of the wheelchair and into spandex
by el vale
Me too! God, not even Killing joke matters now? Ew
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Oct 19, 2005 8:55:27 AM CDT
I'm getting my emergency Batsuit ready!!! (Quit looking at m
by the heathen
Ah, shame I missed out on all of this yesterday, but alas, my computer had blue balls. (Does that count?) If it doesn't, my English Bulldog has only one testicle. It never fails to please guests. *** I dated a Catherine w/ a "C" (obviously) and she wasn't crazy, she was boring though, but I'm sure if Lady C is anything - it aint boring! *** My thoughts on Bat mantles: I like them more than Mickey Mantles or firepla
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she was pretty effing hot, but we all called her raisins, on account of her constant raisin-smuggling. the end.
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I admit to reading it. It's a guilty pleasure and it smells good. *sniff* Mmm
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Oct 19, 2005 11:07:16 AM CDT
*Knocks Psynapse Cold Before The Backhand Could Even Connect**
by buzz maverik
Psynapse, from what I've seen from you, you miss the point of everything 100% of the time.
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Oct 19, 2005 11:35:23 AM CDT
I Am Determined To Resurrect The Y Chromosome! You Guys Need To
by buzz maverik
I find it cool and interesting that the best analysis of the problems of modern men was written by a gay man. Chuck is a prophet. See, yer being Ed Nortons. Ed Norton says, "Ooo, Helena Bonham Carter. She's weird. She's strange. I don't wanna be around her." Brad Pitt emerges, scans the horizon and proceeds to batten down the hatches! Now, Helena's character's name was Marla, not Katie but my point is still valid. See, I think this is why Juliette Lewis freaks so many of you. Granted, Juliette isn't your traditional actress like all the Jennifers and Reese and that other chick. But like the song says, as far as I can make out the lyrics, "Wild women do and they don't regret it." Let's face it, bubbie, yer a little out there yerself so I say go with that. The pep squad never lined up to meet the comic geeks and you should be thankful for that! Is that DOMINO ad still up top? Okay, Kiera Knightley is a lot better looking than you're gonna get but memorize that general unwholesome vibe she's sending out as bounty hun-tah Domino Hah-vey and seek that out! Don't come back until yer limping and you've taken some penicillin!
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Oct 19, 2005 11:37:00 AM CDT
Sorry Buzz but all that liquor says you hit the wooden indian ne
by psynapse
Dude, do let me know if you ever learn to find the humor in anyone other than yourself. I didn't miss any point but you apparently did. Tell you what, from now I will ignore all of your posts and you do the same for me, k?Humorless social tyrants like you bore the hell out of me. It's really sad actually.....
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Oct 19, 2005 12:06:14 PM CDT
If You Missed The Point, Psynapse, How Would You Know You Missed
by buzz maverik
Of course you missed it. "No, I didn't, you did." Who's the social tyrant here? I don't react the way you want me to react and you're understandably upset. I want you to take a couple of deep breaths and go to your happy place where everybody is calling you names or something. Or better yet, where you control the responses of others and the pot and the kettle are black and we are all what we hate the most. You know, though, in all seriousness, the term "social tyrant" really hurts me. I am anything but a social tyrant. I know you're as into the non-PC thing as I am, and terms and labels are irritating, but I really prefer "anti-social despot". Now, if I were a social tyrant, I'd tell you what to ignore and not ignore instead of just ignoring what I wanted. Finally, I find humor in lots of people. You, for instance, crack me up! "...bore the hell out of me..." "...sad actually..." (see, it's funny because you think this does anything to me)...
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...like it's a bad thing.
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Oct 19, 2005 12:34:21 PM CDT
Did you miss the part where I respectfully asked that we ignore
by psynapse
THAT'S what make you a scoial tyrant. We were BOTH joking but you decided to spin me as some kind of idiot. If the term stung at all it's only a measure of how true it is. Since you can't speak to me without belittling me how about you just ignore me and anything I post as you've already declared nothing I can express as possibly having merit.Personally I'd like to go back to discussing comics rather than banter with a 21st century booze-swilling Double-Y chromo (yeah THAT's a ringing character trait)neanderthal (My apologies, neanderthals, I had to place him somewhere) who can only hear his own point of view. PLEASE and THANK YOU, sir.
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Damn you Thalya. Good one! : )
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My dick is bigger, just accept it and move on.
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Can we change that?
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Oct 19, 2005 12:43:09 PM CDT
at least he didn't say you had an imaginary girlfriend Psyna
by the heathen
And btw Buzz, Morena is doing just fine. You ready for her again Kal-El? *** And no more blushing Lady C. Promise. In fact, let's open up the "Who's having sex w/ who in the X-Mansion?" debate. That's always good.
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You're just doing more of it than I am at the moment..
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It is Earth-2 Psynapse that has the imaginary girlfriend!
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just what can I or any of us say to make you blush Ms. Thalya? See, it might be harder than you think.
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I've alway thought that if there were 2 X-Men secretly banging each other off-panel it would be these two. Claremont's pervosity has long infected the X-Men and many a scene with these two in 'buddy' mode has had serious homo-erotic undertones. And you just know that Logan totally gets off on what Kurt can do with that tail.
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Oct 19, 2005 1:06:26 PM CDT
Or Logan and Beast, which would be the furriest gay sex ever.
by shigeru
...or maybe they could shave each other? Any blushing??
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"Is good heir Logan?" "You bet bub. And I thought I was the best there is at what I do, but you
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then have them roll around like they're 'rastlin. Got to be some blushing in there somewhere.
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Oct 19, 2005 1:17:42 PM CDT
Ah the things non-straight and non-single guys will do to make a
by thalya
*giggle* I think Buzz was right.
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Oct 19, 2005 1:21:02 PM CDT
There's actually a lot changing in the Marvel U right no-- N
by the heathen
"Is good da?" *** Are we all waiting for the Roundtable or should we ever talk about ** Minor SPOILER** Hawkeye dying again and the fate of mutant kind. I only ask because that would significantly reduce the people available for who's having sex in the X-Mansion.
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Think about it, no matter how hard Colossus pounded Wolvie into the mattress even in Armor form Wolvie could take it like a champ. Oh god, now I've poisoned my own mind with X-Men slashfic! I can see the title even: Wolverine: The Ultimate Power Bottom. That said, did anyone else ever wonder just how close ShadowCat and Magik really were as room-mates. You know what they say about teenagers and experimentation.
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I'll be here all week. (duh)
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Oct 19, 2005 1:50:56 PM CDT
And now the images of gay sex in the X mansion will forever haun
by el vale
See, once you picture Logan taking it up the ass from Kurt...well the child inside you dies. This guy's in every Marvel comic book every month? Why? He's just one of those hairy gay dudes.
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Kitty loves the cog. And then we also talked about Scott and Emma and then how Jean thought about Logan when she was with Scott right? Yeah, that's better. *** I still can't believe you sided w/ 'lil mack. The shock, the horror.
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But I did try to counter the M2M visuals with a sapphic suggestion between Kitty & Illyana for you. Focus on that, OR the Jell-o wrestling match that Cyclops made Emma and Jean do to determine who REALLY loved him more. (*_^)
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um...having sexual relations with the danger room?
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Brilliant!
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...she stays with me and with u heathen but hey do u want imginary jewel staite?shes all your man!****psynapse and buzz stop busting balls! does it count?!
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professor x/danger room thing was brought on by xavier's lack of committing to cuddle sessions after the "deed" was done thus leaving the danger room frusrated and thinking that xavier "found" someone else...the downfall of the x-men will never be from magneto or mutant haters...always comes from their wayward relations...oh prof. x...why can't you treat her like a lady?
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and orignal all-weekers...have we come up with a logo and uniforms beyond the batsuits for our gathering of hero's and heroine? so far only one lady in the group...that's gonna lead to conflict for if we ever wonder what kind of sexual relations is happening the cog-mansion.....we need uniforms...have we all agreed on the team name? hell we need a name of a mansion...the cog-mansion? anythoughts? who's bringing what? i hope we have a fireplace.
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came from all of those 'bad touches' the Prof. kept making. After all, this is his daughter he was diddling with. **And where the hell is the new column?!? I am so ready to charge in with ny DC-bootlicking fury!. Damn man, I'm even wearing my Superman underoos in anticipation. **Re: Busting balls-considering this is one of the 2 activities I engage in where they are concerned I'm sure you (and Buzz) would prefer the former to the latter.
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have fun discussing the roundtable tonite! Cya tomorrow.
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later Shigeru
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Oct 19, 2005 3:32:33 PM CDT
Could it be, like, a haunted mansion? With hidden passages and d
by thalya
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Maybe "ignore" doesn't mean what I think it does. No...it's right here in the dictionary. Uh, Psynapse, according to Websters, you're not ignoring me. I'm exercising my pergoative to not ignore you. A free thinking non-tyrant such as yourself surely wouldn't object to that and if he did, ah, fuck 'im, ya know? Isn't social tyrant just another way to say "winner"? Actually, the term is sorta growing on me, although I was wondering if we could shorten it to just "tyrant". Takes up less space on a resume and the "social" part weakens the impact. Buzz Maverik -- Tyrant! I'm gonna get some business cards printed and I want the cool kind like Christian Bale had in AMERICAN PSYCHO. But I am sorry that I responded to a post that you directed to me. In my own defense, I felt like it. I thought that was what most people do. I can't promise anything, but I'll probably do it again because I'm a sociopath. And points to you, you made a great effort at...what was that word you use...belittling me. At least you tried anyway, that's something. (Next time you're in this situation with someone, you might want to think about not using someone's own words, ie the booze and the chromosomes. How could that possibly bug them?). What upset me the most was the "neandrathal" thing. I'm not a neandrathal myself, you were wrong about that but as you probably know, the neandrathal has never completely vanished and my lifelong best friend Eriglione is one (or a troll of the non-internet variety but neandrathals are scientific fact and trolls are characters from folklore...hey, could there be a connection?). Eriglione is one of the finest human beings you'll ever meet and he'd give you the shirt off his hairy back but it'd probably be too wide for ya even if yer a big guy. Neandrathals are hard working tax payers who coach Little League and collect vinyl records. They have hopes and dreams just like you and me and you can say what you want about me, but I, for one, am not about to stand idle while you use the stage of evolution belonging to these upstanding Americans to cast aspersion on someone you're not capable of insulting on the internet.
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but where would these passages lead to?
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Like that song "My Pergoative"? It's an okay word. It has goat in it. I meant "perogative". I was exercising my perogative to mock Psynapse. It's hard to type with the doors of perception open.
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That was just...sad. Truly truly sad. Twice now I've tried to steer the talkback away from the you/me bullshit (which, lets' be honest has existed since March of '03 when you utterly missed the jokes BurlIvesLeftNut was trying to make to you) but you can't let anything go. Fine. From now on I will end every post with something directed at you. Like this one: Wow, that was a whole lotta words just to parrot yourself once again. How about you actually post something of interest to the subjects at hand? Oh wait, that would inply a shred of a mature clue on your part. Son, on the best day of your life matching up to the worst of mine I would most certainly slap you around much like the way a cockney pimp would lay down on his 2 dollar whore. Or to put it succinctly: You Mr. Maverik are a whiny punk-ass bitch.
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..though I could be getting ideas again..
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Dude. Sharp feathers versus a MACE. I don't think so, LOL.
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Don't make me turn this car around
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or else I'll have to interpret that last statement as an invitation to a date. Me and Buzz are just oil and water, that's all. (*_^)
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Oct 19, 2005 5:57:48 PM CDT
Ha! Ha! You're Still Mad About Something From Two & A Half Y
by buzz maverik
Were you even involved in that? I'd forgotten until Burl popped up a while back and somebody reminded me who he was. I felt kind of bad for him then and I feel bad for you now. March '03. That's neurotic, even by internet standards. I read the Burl thing after that. Were you the guy that jumped on the poor poster who made some comment about Burl stalking me and called the guy a bitch and then Burl jumped on him and called him names too? That I remember, but I didn't think you'd do a thing like that. If that was you, you really ought to be ashamed. Psynapse, Burl wasn't making a joke. He was trolling me. I out-trolled him, which is not a tactic I recommend to anyone for dealing with trolls and would never do again. Burl isn't normally a troll, just a banal sort of poster who says things like "That sounds cool" and "I think I'll see that" but he didn't dig my schtick and he was out to fuck up the first talkback for this column. He got a big surprise. He wasn't making a joke but I'm sure he said he was. Trolls never say their trolling (actually, those Scortched Earth guys do but they are equal opportunity professional trolls who deserve our love and respect! Hey, Towelie! Hey Qwerty! We miss you both as legitimate talkbackers and trolls). The problem was, Burl needed my cooperation to troll me. Gee, am I the cooperative type? If that was you, you and Burl dogpiled on that poor guy because you couldn't get anywhere with me. Wow! The more I think about it, the more that had to be you. Name calling, the endless "you don't get its", the appeals to me to lay off. You didn't mention physical violence on the same line with saying I don't have a mature clue. C'mon, are we in grade school. Are you telling me you can beat me up? Go ahead, punch your monitor, be my guest, genius. Or better yet, type something else like you're a gangsta rapper...that was your best Vanilla Ice, wasn't it? Nice prison lingo, but I've read about prison grudges that haven't lasted as long as yours. But that was just one of your jokes, right? Of course it was. Well, now that I'm pretty sure yer that wad who wasn't involved but jumped all over the guy who asked me a question during that talkback, I WILL ignore you. Unlike you, though, I will be able to do it.
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You are absolutely right about everything and always have been. I am a complete and utter fool who should kill himself now so that I cease to shit up the world any further.I am the excrement on a child-rapists feet. Feel better? Apparently relentlessly slamming me while hiding behind a keyboard is how you get your kicks. Though I've said it already..sad, just sad. Moreover it's the most poorly disguised junket of homophobia I've ever seen. The truth is that in the real world I would knock you on your punk ass and we both know it. Sling away you armchair emporer, it's just shit coming from another asshole from where I'm sitting.
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WE NEED A NEW COLUMN!!!*******but yeah kitty loves the cog but she also has bi tendencies and her and iliyana totally experimented. she kept it in the family."****"is good da?" nice heathen i fogot about that!***
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Now THERE'S a comic!
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and if that "special" buzz/psynapse gay sex issue is made...who does the art? and who is the writer? and thalya, i'm all up for ideas...so if you figure em out lemme know. and yes darth...kitty is extraordinary...honorary cog smooch for sure.
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Are we talking X-Mansion? JSA Brownstone? Secret Six House of Secrets? That one could be interesting.. We keep getting add-ons and new rooms without hiring a contractor..
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either on the moon or orbiting the planet a la JLU.and yeah lots of rooms. hey a mansion on the moon in a climate regulating dome with pools and jacuzzi and the like.as for uniforms maybe vale can design some cool things? im not an artist or i would love to. and thalya im sorry only the gay and attached cogs try to make u blush.what can i do to help?
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oh indeed it is my friend.indeed it is.now if i could only speak its owner's language vaginese and understand these weird creatures called woman...
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Oct 19, 2005 8:46:32 PM CDT
The Cog Headquarters should definitelly be a big phallic symbol
by el vale
Becasue where's the fun otherwise?
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what are these creatures called "women" you speak of? and wherever we decide to put our conference table let's not model it after the avengers mansion...though a butler or two might be good.
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Well, you know, to learn the lingo, it's kind of like how the blind "see" a person's face, touching with the hands and all.. so to learn the language you have to get in real close and mimic with your lips and tongue.. Or you could always ask Chef. Oh, and things to make me blush? I guess they'd have to be unexpected, or I've got to stop typing these posts because I can't stop my cheeks from reddening while I type..
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red cheeks.
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KIDDING! HA, it's wednesday night, it's too early for a new column!
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we totally need a new column. I just re-read through all of are stuff from today and it is pretty, pretty, pretty
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Methinks Darth needs to see History of Violence. Viggo and Maria's first love scene will teach you the ways of the vaginese.
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What's shakin'?
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Okay that was too obvious. Thalya are you reading Seven Soldiers?
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Not so much, Shigeru. I've heard good things, but it's not so much something I'm interested in..
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A terrible bloody shame.
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Really seems as though this TB's run its course, hasn't it? Bugger..
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Not the ALL-WEEK AND ONE DAY cog smooches.
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Aaand as the resident QueerCog I call dibs on decor! Lady K do what I'm gonna do re: Seven Soldiers, Take it in trade. I hear its totally awesome but the number of monthlies I read is ginormous enough now that DC has made me their bitch for the whole IC gambit. PS-Wheredafugg is the new column?!?
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i just meant i dont understand the ways of women.****and yes we are on this talkbacks last legs but im glad im sharing this with all of u
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...now im going to get called fat/skinny,socially inept and put back in my ugly place
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my favorite expression of the week!
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..really, there are no rules when it comes to women. Even for the abnormal ones like me. I think it's because we want to be treated like both people and females, and they can be two conflicting standards.
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In case I don't chime in much the next few days, you'll will know why. Fucking hurricanes. And I've been looking forward to the roundtable all week too! Be safe Cogs and hopefully I'll be able to throw my 2 cents in sometime
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i have never had anything but abnormal crazy chicks but even the best of the bunch where beyond my comprehension at times.*****stay safe heathen!
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Have you read a Morrison comic? Heathen, be safe. Don't let the hurricanes get to you.
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there's women besieds crazy?
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Oct 21, 2005 4:08:05 PM CDT
No, no, LAST time I checked they're all schitzo AND loony
by the heathen
safe so far : )
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...when was the LAST time i disagreed with you? NEVER!
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... er, nothing, not at the moment I guess. Anyway, LAST! **** PS If you go to the talk back form (from the button above the quick talkback form) it says among other things "[...]Post away, but remember: you're our guest, you're using OUR bandwidth for free, so please don't be a bastard. Blatant abuse, personal attacks, OFF-TOPIC BS[...]In other words, being a jerkwad loser will get you banned. Another thing that'll get you banned is complaining about being deleted.[...] Do you think we're walking that thin line? Complaining for your posts being deleted gets you banned is shit. I remember your posts being deleted. And if you get into a fight with an editor here, things look grim. Balls to that.
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who knows about the editors? i just go with the flow on here...it ain't my site...but i've done nothing warrenting banning or deleted post me thinks. anyway LAST my friend...LAST twins unite!
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