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Ok You Talkback Chimps - KEVIN SMITH has some Words for you!

Hey folks, Harry here... I temporarily shut down Talk Back registration while this whole Brown Coat nonsense blows over - remember - Off Topic BS will get you banned. Then earlier today I get a letter from Kevin Smith wanting to register for TalkBack so he can "I'd better defend myself a bit." Kevin is registered, doesn't mean he'll post - but if he does - it'll be a dark post like Moriarty, Quint and Myself. I figured that way he wouldn't get a lot of that, "You're not really Kevin Smith man, prove it!" or the jerkoffs running around doing the Spartacus "I'm Kevin Smith" "No, I'm Kevin Smith," "No, I'M KEVIN SMITH!" So you see a dark post - with the KevinSmith handle - that's the man. While we were getting that set up for the man - he took your posts into Word and crafted his particular bathroom stall retorts to each of you "chimps". Some of you he owes fellatio... others, he uses his teeth brutally.

Kevin Smith Responds to TALKBACKERS!

As for me, what do I think of the PASSION OF THE CLERKS teaser and the first Kevin Smith production diary? Well - given the site is littered with phrases like "TRAIN WRECK" and "Disaster in the Making!" I think the "teaser" was intentionally cheesy - I mean it really does look like a train wreck and a disaster in the making. And Kevin's production diary - just spills over with soothsaying of doom. It makes me giggle like crazy, because I love Kevin's "Dick and Fart" jokes... In actuality - I've got a confession to make... About 4 days ago, I saw MALLRATS for the first time and out of the blue wrote Kevin this gay as hell dick suck letter about how much I loved it. Apologized for being a fucking Johnny Come Lately - but man... When Stan Lee and Jason are on the second floor of the mall and Jason's asking about Thing's rocky cock... That was genius! And in the making of - when some exec at Universal thought that scene was like Richard Dreyfus talking to Wolfman Jack - I was like, "RIGHT ON!" and I really can't believe I let all the crap criticism of MALLRATS keep me away from it till this latest DVD edition. Yeah, and that 3 nipple scene was hot!

Having said all that... I really wish Kevin would have made GREEN HORNET. I know he has a confidence issue with non-dialogue scenes - and a seeming fear of "Action scenes," but man - I know he's got it in him. But if I have to settle for some bizarre return to the well of CLERKS... so be it, you know you'll laugh and so do I. Now be respectful... The man is working, and that's fun for all of us!

Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:34 a.m. CST


    by Man of Stool

    See, bitches? SEE?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:34 a.m. CST

    Firs....SHIT 2nd

    by Drworm2002

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Why can't I get white text on black backgrounds?

    by Hung-Wei Lo

    I mean, Moriarty gets one. And I think Herc gets one. So why can't I have one? What have they ever done to that makes them specia...oh. Contributions? Well, nobody ever said anything about contributions! I can live with this plain ol' text then, afterall.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Kevin, if you see this, what`s the stats on the CLERKS animated

    by Man of Stool

    You should come to Germany. Got a lot of fans here. SNOOGANS!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:37 a.m. CST


    by AppleBalls

    I had Kevin's love child. His name is Samsonite.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Hey...I love Kevin...

    by Drworm2002

    It was so cool. I was in LA at the Vanilla Sky Premiere. I was with a friend of mine and here comes Kevin Smith walking the red carpet. I screamed out

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:45 a.m. CST

    Oh fuck me in the mouth!

    by AppleBalls

    I can't believe I'm fucking fiththies. This let down is about par with the time I had to shove a needle down my urethra franklin to rid me of the gonorrhea I contracted from that Baboon at the Jacksonville County Fair. I swear if this happens again, I'm gonna rip off my penis, hot glue it to my head and stomp around time square with a shirt that says 'dildo unicorn.'

  • this is just going to get aicn it's own hellmouth of trolls and whiny suckups. it's not browncoats you need to worry about, it's brown noses. forgive the bad pun, couldn't help meself. but seriously, every time he'll post a third will be 'OMGWTFBBQ KEVIN SMITH I LOVE YOU', another third will be 'OMGWTFBBQ KEVIN SMITH YOU SUCK', some won't even notice, and about a tenth of the posts will actually be worth a damn. as much as i'd prefer him to post, he'll probably get tired of all the overexcited praise/hate and just forget about it all. but hopefully i'll be wrong.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:48 a.m. CST

    What did I miss? Brownshirts? WTF?

    by zacdilone

    What is up with all that? I'm really behind on something here...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:51 a.m. CST

    clarification necessary

    by Holodigm

    that is, i should say, a third of the posts after Smith, not that a third of what he says is 'i rule' and a third is 'i suck'. or maybe he will, in which case it'd be funny.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:54 a.m. CST

    browncoats are firefly fans, brownshirts i think are nazis

    by Holodigm

    you know, the ones that showed up to the early screenings in june or july with their thick brown leather coats. browncoats i mean.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:55 a.m. CST


    by Neosamurai85

    I'm in one of my crazy opossume fearing twitchy moods... but I'm not sure I can out craze you tonight... Peace.

  • Seriously, why does Kevin Smith even take the time to deal with talk backers. He is an amazing director and shouldn't care what one small subset of the movie going populations thinks. The success of his films is proof enough.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Polar Bears

    by Domi'sInnerChild

    I can't believe Lost ripped off Kevin Smith. I'm also sort of surprised so many people didn't made the connection between one of Smith's first student films being about a trainwreck documentary and the "Back to the well" title. Might as well knock off everything and good full circle, right? At least he didn't call it 38 Dicks.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:07 a.m. CST

    You made this bed AICN, and now you get to LIE in it.

    by LordEnigma

    I love that this site, of all sites, has a problem with a group of fans defending something they love. This site, of all sites, has spewed hatred in more directions than an erupting volcano. Not like it had a great effect, but this site has shit over countless projects, from countless directors, producers, writers, and actors. Now, you reap what you sow. The fans have decided to step up, and like David Poland; you get all uppidy all of a sudden? AICN's time apparently has come and gone, but the site remains still as hypocritical as ever. When it serves their best interest. VIVA LA BROWNCOATS! Besides the greatest sci-fi film these Oldboy lovin molukes couldnt understand or did not want to because for some reason, Harry can understand Korean, but not Chinese (Im just being silly.). If Kev reads this; know Ive got your figurative back no matter what. What that equates to remains to be seen. However, you have provided me with a whole lot of entertainment in the last 11 years. While your lack of wanting to direct something with epic scope (Come on, you can shoot Green Hornet. Second Unit man, SECOND UNIT!) sort of puts me out. I will be there to see Clerks 2, buy another friggin Chasing Amy DVD (Longer Q&A on that one! The MRX one, at 49 minutes, way too short), and countless tsotkes. You da man, yadda yadda yadda, and all that.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Kevin: the majority of the AICN community think your movies are

    by tile_mcgillus

    I just read your responses. Most of us think your movies are great but get tired of defending quality films against the utter stupidity of the hatemongers. Jersey Girl was a flawed film but it definately stood out as a watchable film in the romantic comedy genre. Anything with Carlin is blessed by the gods. All these naysayers will be there on opening day to see the film. Along with the true fans.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:08 a.m. CST

    I just read what he wrote...

    by Drworm2002

    I can understand why he feels the way he does. I mean people talking shit about the woman he loves. I know that if someone was doing that about my wife I would want to rip thier fucking heart out of thier chest. Man or woman...I don't give a fuck...You don't talk about mi Familia. But other then he is funny and I think he put a lot of people in there place. Shit I know that if I was a big director I would love to ahve my own talk name in AICN...I would have two, one so you knew it was me and one so you didn't. That way I could talk shit about myself...hehehe

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:08 a.m. CST

    So we get to chat with Mr. Smith eh?

    by Neosamurai85

    Sounds like more fun than a bag of panda spooge to me

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:10 a.m. CST

    Well I for one don't want to make Smith's Cock-Suck List

    by SmarkJobber

    ...I'll just say that the dude couldn't even make, like, a poon-on-poon scene between Jolie and Alba exciting to watch. That, and I hear he has athlete's taint -- needs to powder and spray that shit constantly. Sick fuck.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:10 a.m. CST

    You made this bed AICN, and now you get to LIE in it.

    by LordEnigma

    I love that this site, of all sites, has a problem with a group of fans defending something they love. This site, of all sites, has spewed hatred in more directions than an erupting volcano. Not like it had a great effect, but this site has shit over countless projects, from countless directors, producers, writers, and actors. Now, you reap what you sow. The fans have decided to step up, and like David Poland; you get all uppidy all of a sudden? AICN's time apparently has come and gone, but the site remains still as hypocritical as ever. When it serves their best interest. VIVA LA BROWNCOATS! Besides the greatest sci-fi film these Oldboy lovin molukes couldnt understand or did not want to because for some reason, Harry can understand Korean, but not Chinese (Im just being silly.). If Kev reads this; know Ive got your figurative back no matter what. What that equates to remains to be seen. However, you have provided me with a whole lot of entertainment in the last 11 years. While your lack of wanting to direct something with epic scope (Come on, you can shoot Green Hornet. Second Unit man, SECOND UNIT!) sort of puts me out. I will be there to see Clerks 2, buy another friggin Chasing Amy DVD (Longer Q&A on that one! The MRX one, at 49 minutes, way too short), and countless tsotkes. You da man, yadda yadda yadda, and all that.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:15 a.m. CST

    Browncoat thing blows over?

    by The GentleMan

    Sorry for being a fan of a sci-fi movie, one which inspires people to dress up like those on screen. Will you be moaning more when it starts a religion? Or if Whendon shoots two trilogies and a 50 series TV show to milk the cow to udder death? Bit of a browncoat bias in here, but isnt AICN a little brown?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:20 a.m. CST

    Jersey Girl didn

    by Neosamurai85

    It was not perfect, but I think the thing got over hyped as something more than it was. People were acting like this was going to be assaulted with Oscars

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:23 a.m. CST

    Favorite Clerks joke...

    by Neosamurai85

    Probably the suck your own dick skit in the car... nice set up. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Good on ya, Mr. Smith

    by eppdude

    I think it's commendable that Kevin has enough studio confidence to make whatever film he wishes. He's for sure not a studio bitch. I work as a film critic for a newspaper, and personally, I'm a huge fan of Smith's. I even try to defend Mallrats (which is tough, Kev). I hope that after you have some more fun with another Clerks (which I'm sure will be moderately inspired) you'll delve deep again like you did with Amy and even Jersey. 'Course, Smith knows his audience, and they may not be as interested in thoughtful writing as they are the dick and fart jokes. For my money, Kev, fuck these guys who don't understand or appreciate your attempt to write meaningful, thoughtful material. The versatility in your writing is something to be proud of.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:28 a.m. CST

    It's funny, but you can't even hardly mention Serenity i

    by JackBurton

    I mean I'm not a rabid whedonite, nor am I a rampant flamer, and in the posts I had that were deleted I talked about the subject at hand, and, because (prior to them being deleted) Serenity was also being discussed I happened to touch on that subject also, and guess what, deletion city baby. So remember the new catchphrase folks: "Don't mention the Whedon. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it..." ************************************************************************** And to the AICN crew, remember: "You started it!" / "No we didn't!" / "Yes you did, you reviewed Serenity!"

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Okay, Kev... I sit here, I wait...

    by moviemaniac-7

    ... and I won't cum in your mouth. I'm a nice enough guy to give you a warning in advance.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Jack...what are you talking about?

    by Drworm2002

    Where were these post?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:36 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith responded to me!

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    That's right fuckers, he replied, to ME. I'm HUGE! And what's more, I think he even proposed to me. Marriage! Ok I know he didn't propose to me but was just insinuating I was gay for another poster, but a boy can dream can't he?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:37 a.m. CST

    and I see people going off the subject all the fucking time...

    by Drworm2002

    ...I mean, jus the other day there was this cat. and he was playing with a mouse. the mouse ran into the wall. So I took him and buried him in the back yard. It was so weird. cuase when teh grass grew there was this weird smell was we talking about?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:46 a.m. CST

    Am I the only one that dosn't want a blow job from Kev?

    by Neosamurai85


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:48 a.m. CST


    by AppleBalls

    It's all thanks to a balanced diet of MTV, egg whites, and the nectar that leaks from my third nipple...which I found today...inside my ass.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Mallrats is to the 90s as Citizen Kane was to the 40s...

    by El Scorcho

    OK, well that is hyperbole, but Mallrats really is a criminally underrated flick, and deserves a spot next to some of the world's most best comedies. I watched Dogma last night though for the first time in a while... a fucking great example of when the subject matter (or writer) is in love with itself and allows the film to run on 40 minutes too long. I like the movie sort of, but damn, that fucking thing needs to have its stomach stapled shut or something. Kevin let that one get out of hand... And what's with the hating on Wisconsin?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:55 a.m. CST

    Fuckin' class act, man...

    by Kamikaze_Jones

    Say what you will about Smith's films, but at least he's got the nuts to jump into this cesspool and talk to the fans on our level. Bravo, man.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Mmmm... ass nipples

    by Neosamurai85

    You might want to consult a proctologist about that. Even the healthiest Autobot is susceptible. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:56 a.m. CST

    And Clerks is unwatchable...

    by El Scorcho

    Someone had to say it. It's impressive for what resources were had, but it puts me to sleep every time I try to watch it.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:05 a.m. CST

    Fuck you Brock Tune...


    KS is hooking me up with JESUS BITCH!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith, you kick ass.

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    The fact that you make time to sign as much autographs and hang with the fans at the cons is awesome. I was at Wonder Con here in SF, got you and Jay's autographs, and it was just so cool to see you guys live and in person. Unfortunately I didn't get to see your talk, but, oh well. Your movies have always been great for me, even Jersey Girl (it was cool as a normal movie, and fantastic considering what genre it was in). Dogma is so good, it ALMOST inspires me to take up religion... except i'd have to deal with all the crazies, and agnostic just fits the bill too easily.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Alright, Smith...

    by kintar0

    how about some motherfucking proper credit for Jack Kirby's creations?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:12 a.m. CST

    Oh, but I wish there was some actual footage of SOMEthing in the

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    I mean, ca-mannnn.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:12 a.m. CST

    at least he's got the nuts to jump into this cesspool "and t


    Now I really fucking want to drink his juice.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:15 a.m. CST

    "Rabid weasles fucking in a burlap bag indeed!"

    by Neosamurai85

    Wait, what? Didn't I say that like three months ago... I'm confused. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:19 a.m. CST


    by TheJ0ker

    They haven't even started shooting yet.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:45 a.m. CST

    lame gimmick to spin web hype

    by dr.bulber

    pump that online fanbase when appropriate.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:12 a.m. CST

    Great, just great. If I knew the man himself was gonna respond

    by Shermdawg

    What I really wanted to say was: Mr.Smith sir, my local news recently reported that Mr.Affleck might be moving to my neck of the woods and run for a Virginia senate seat. If this happens, I'm guessing he won't be able to appear in any of your future projects. Does that mean they will be better? P.S.: He was the bomb in Phantoms.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:15 a.m. CST

    what the fuck is this brown shirts issue?!?!

    by Spacesheik

    BTW who were the fucking geniuses in charge of casting Stuart Townsend as Kolchak instead of someone like Michael Keaton?!! They should be flooged and made to watch Pauly Shore's "Biodome" while Roxette's "It must habe neem love" plays in the background.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Shrug,..still a Chasing Amy fan.

    by the_pissboy1

    I can watch Chasing Amy pretty much anytime. In fact, a friend of mine just borrowed it this weekend. Mallrats, while sloppy at in spots amuses more often than 90% of the comedies I see. BTW, I met Smith at San Diego Comic-con the summer before Chasing Amy hit theaters...and he was a really nice guy. Loved seeing his talk at the Con this year. He's knows how to work an audience and he suffers from no delusions about his filmmaking skills.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Don't mind another CLERKS as long as they change the title t

    by brokentusk

    I'm thinking that the joke will be long dead by the time the actual movie comes out. Besides, CLERKS is so recognizable by itself, it doesn't need to piggyback onto the name of another movie in order to be funny.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:23 a.m. CST

    RE: Death of a Movie Geek....

    by The Tao of Joe

    A millionare filmmaker has turned the faceless, cruel ire of the internet against itself, by taking the vile comments of talkbackers and turning in a rather lengthy talkback himself. Kevin Smith is one of us: He loves comic books, geek cinema, and the internet. It's easy to see why he feels 'flamed' when he comes onto the net and sees people write heartless things about his wife that they wouldn't dare mention to his face (and something tells me he would really fuck them up if they did). On the other hand, I too understand the reasoning behind some of the fanboy community's ire. They have seen hot Smith's wife (who at the very least ranks 7/10, and I am talking internationally - Trust me, those sweedish broads broke the curve), his decent-at-worst motion pictures (if a movie like Jersey Girl is considered the low mark of anyone's career, they are lucky), and his swank-ass estate (the dude has custom billiards and poker chips for fuck's sake). When I read about Smith's life on his webblog, it's hard not to get jelous, and everyone in this room knows EXACTLY what I am talking about. I think that most talkbackers are afraid to take the risks to finance their own film via credit fraud, which is why so much spleen is flung at Smith for doing the same thing and finding success. I had to attend a lecture by a self-made imigrant-turned-millionare who looked and sounded like a well-fed Bela Lugosi. And among the many 'pearls' of motivational speaking wisdom he shot at us, the one that stuck with me the most was "IF YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE COMPAIRING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE, YOU ARE THINKING LIKE A LOSER!" I am 25 years old, and am about to graduate college with a degree in English. That is fucking scary. I know for a fact that the biggest reason I haven't written a completed book or screenplay yet is solely because of fear. I plan on applying to a bunch of grad schools, but even if I get in it will only perpetuate this situation. I am afriad. I don't know if I have what it takes, and the sad thing is, I have let that keep me from trying. Smith is right.... We don't get paid to write on these forums, so why do we spend so much time doing it about things we hate? I think for me it's because I was too afraid to take the risks and attempt to do something that I love. I guess that means I am out - done with these talkbacks. I got a lot on my mind. The woman I love got mad at me today for watching 'A History of Violence' and 'Oliver Twist' in the same weekend. She asked me, 'Since you aren't reviewing them for a newspaper, why do you HAVE to see every movie when it comes out?' I tried to defend myself. I tried to say because I want to make a film one day, and that this was akin to a football player watching game footage of another team. My girlfriend then asked me, 'Why don't you save your time and money and start making a film instead?' And you know what, she's right. Fuck. I am leaving now. Venturing down that empty road that could lead to success or failure. I love you guys. You provided me with numerous hours of pleasure and great discussion on something I may truely love. I say 'may' because I have yet to find out if its genuine, or some form of mental masturbation. Good bye all. -Joe Scott (

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:26 a.m. CST

    The evil cult of whedon is the gravest of threats....


    tehy must be stoped, lest the world be plunged into a thousand-year-suck.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:33 a.m. CST

    RE: Death of a Movie Geek....


    Jesus Tao. That post was kinda depressing.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Hey, Tao of Joe...

    by kintar0

    Tell that bitch to shut the fuck up. Did you spend her money to go see those movies? That's what the weekend's for, brah, seein' movies. New Cronenberg and Polanski films don't get released every day.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Wait, I see Kevin actually responded to somebody with the same r

    by brokentusk

    Well, it's more of a statement really. Tell him that two days ago I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:46 a.m. CST

    Dear Kevin

    by Dmann

    You are long winded. I had to leave your Wizard World Q&A because my blood sugar levels were dropping. I walked out emaciated, looking like someone from survivor, only with a big gut...because uh, duh, I was at wizard world... guys at comic cons like that only have two shapes, and they are Mutt and Jeff...if i use any more elipses...i'll become Larry King in USA TODAY... RANCHO CUCAMONGA, YOURE ON THE AIR...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:51 a.m. CST

    EVERY director should have the chance to defend himself in the t

    by DerLanghaarige

    Imagine Boll or Schumacher would become "officials" here. But seriously, Smith is great! Can't wait to read some of his replies AND I agree with Man Of Stool. COME TO GERMANY, for fucks sake! I didn't made the View Askewniverse popular in the Ruhrarea for nothing! Does anyone know how many times I had to say: "Oh, Dogma is the 4th film with Jay & Silent Bob, there are three more" (Of course this happened before "J&SB Strike Back") and how many times I had to explain all of the insiderjokes in "Strike Back"!? Fuck, I brought Clerks to school! We watched it in an english lesson! We even watched "Dogma" in school, just because I brought it there! Uhm...please come to Germany. It's cool(er than many people think).

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:52 a.m. CST


    by DerLanghaarige

    Fuck you, haters! Kevin Smith writes the dialogues, that Tarantino is dreaming of!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:09 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah, one more thing

    by Dmann


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:13 a.m. CST

    Kevin, don't listen to any of these fools...


    My Basement schools everybody. Plus I give way better head than any of these I make a mean pork-chop. Plus i got the ultimate set of Atari-2600 games. my place rox king-shit bro.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:36 a.m. CST



    oh yeah, bring money...and your own beer.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:43 a.m. CST

    I admit it.... I love Kevin Smith

    by Razorback

    Not in the way Browncoats love Joss Whedon (that is more like blind worship), but I love him... I LOVE HIM! There, I have said it. I can die in peace. Oh, for the point, the reason I love him is because he has given a categorization for smart chubby cute guys.... "a Kevin Smith type." The gals love those guys. Oh, and because he makes good movies and still chills with his fans. And because he loves Star Wars. And lives in New Jers.... wait a fuckin' second! He moved to LA? FUCK KEVIN SMITH! ;)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:14 a.m. CST

    As long as he's fighting a Russian in Clerks-4


    That was what was missing from TPM. Dolf and talking robots=gold.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Leave the Thing's Thing

    by Damer1

    ALONE. The fact that Smith can still get ANY film made is a reflection of how lame Hollywood really is.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Apologies to Matt Potter

    by kiddae

    What I MEANT to say was that the Clerks 2 teaser wasn't to MY tastes, but clearly a commendable amount of effort had been put into it, and that should be applauded. Phew! Think I got away with it.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Oh, and his wife is awsome

    by zekmoe

    Any one of you web beaters would die if a girl so hot even asked you what time it is. Most of you have never seen pussy up close it seems. Or are married to the one fat chick who was drunk enough to let you ride. Internerds Unite!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:03 a.m. CST


    by Jon E Cin

    haha so funny!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:08 a.m. CST


    by fiester

    The fucking Nazis are storming the forums? WTF!?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:26 a.m. CST

    I Am

    by Nairb The Movie

    I am Kevin Spartacus.... Heh... I mean Smtihtacus... I mean keviartacus.... Heh...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:30 a.m. CST

    To Mr. Smith...

    by fiester

    I really enjoyed "Clerks". I think it's your best film out of the ones I've seen with "Chasing Amy" being a close second. Randall is the funniest and sharpest character you've ever written--as well as the most complex--and his dynamic with Dante is something worth exploring, so I hope you get into that in your new flick. Whoever it was the convinced you to change your original ending to "Clerks" should get a big fruit basket from you every Xmas. I will see "Clerks 2" and keep an open mind. I hope you don't go overboard with your continuity winks at your more rabid fans. Hopefully the Jay and Silent Bob movie got this desire and/or sense of obligation out of your system for a while. I also think it would be great if you could find and work with some more unknowns in terms of acting instead of the usual suspects. Let Affleck play daddy for a while and Jason Lee has a TV show, so maybe you can find some fresh faces. I also think you ought to do a horror movie at some point. No, I don't mean "Jersey Girl 2" but a real horror movie/monster movie or something like that. You obviously have a love of the genre, so why not use your position to do something really cool and genuinely scary and not hip-scary like "Scream". Find some interesting writers you like and work with them. You shouldn't feel like you have to write everything yourself.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:39 a.m. CST


    by Spacesheik

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:45 a.m. CST

    I think chances are Kevin's going to go for a more stealthy

    by seppukudkurosawa

    The guy's a geek, and proud of it. No geek wants to be put on a plateux to be stared at and poked with a long stick. Well I admit some of us make the most desperate plees for attention; but Kevin already made that plee with Clerks (& to an even bigger level) and Jay and Silent Bob. People are listening already, they don't need his text highlighted black anyway. But if I'm talking shit and he looves the attention, then I'm hoping he registers as TheRealKevinSmith, or GeekHead. Anyway hope you get back on track Kevin, I've always found something to like in every one of your films, and in some of them I've found things to love. Please don't use your ex Joey Lauren in any more movies though, she's got a voice like a hose-pipe. And she's a fucking bitch for breaking up with you dude.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:58 a.m. CST

    I love it.

    by pants009

    I love that ksmith defends himself on the internet. I'm sure I've pointed out that I can hardly stand talkbacks anymore, because I rarely read anything positive EVER. The only thing I ever hear about is a television director. No offense to JW, I have just never seen anything he's done and your fans are a bit over the top and that kind of makes me Not want to see anything...sorry. I'd agree that Smith fans too, are a bit obsessive, but I'm a fan of his. I made the mistake of buying into the bullshit about Jersey Girl sucking when it was in theatres and didn't go see it, but then watched it as soon as it came out on DVD and was just blown away. The writing was genious... so I vowed to never doubt Kevin Smith ever again.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:59 a.m. CST

    That's awesome, Welcome, Mr. Smith!

    by AngelCordy

    I really don't care if anyone thinks I'm brownnosing. I love Kevin Smith like it's my job, and I hope he posts here. Btw, Kevin, I'm 21, blonde, and in love with Jason Mewes. Hook a sister up!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Kevin-Turn off your computer.

    by Charlie_Brown

    I can't believe my fucking eyes. I love you Kevin, but I just watched you make a fatal mistake. Now that you have shown a weakness, you will forever hear Big-Eared wife jokes. Fanboys will begin every post with "Kevin married Dumbo", "she's got Big Gums too" and "Jennifer Schal-Ears". This was a moment of weakness that you will always regret. (I love your movies. I will see Clerks 2. And I would Do your wife anyday.)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Brown shirts are not nazis, they are mussolini's fascists...

    by lettersoftransit

    Brown shorts are fans of "yes, Dear," because they have too litrle brain function to control their bowels. Brownie shirts are fans of former Fema fuckups. Brown belts are people who can't do martial arts for shit but they've paid five figures for lessons so the school gives em something to keep the money flowing. Brownowts are what happens when you run your microwave and your autojack at the same time. Brown eyes are what you have when you're not fortunate enough to have blue. Browntown is what they should call downtown LA because I once saw a man defecating in the street there. Brown and dirty is redundant. Brown socks are what you get from walking outside without putting shoes on. Brown noses are what people need if they want to work in LA.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:08 a.m. CST

    fookin ell kevin must have a lot of time on his hands though

    by seppukudkurosawa

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:09 a.m. CST

    actually, mussolini was the black shirts...never mind

    by lettersoftransit

    got confused because I was at a party once and Mussolini accused Hitler of copying his black shirts for the brown shirts. Then hitler said mussiolini copied his fascist regime "along with my whole madman killer thing."

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Is Avril Lavigne in this?

    by The True Priapic

    Hopefully singing a wonderfully 'hip' version of Berserker accompanied by an orchestra while the video has her frolicking on a bed in her socks in slow motion longingly looking at pictures of Olaf.Then with a bit of luck,Jay and Bob ring her door bell at the end and then proceed to kick hell out of her in Strike Back talkbacker style.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:30 a.m. CST


    by seppukudkurosawa

    This is what he said about JBenalto, no wonder the guy's pissed: "And I

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:38 a.m. CST

    You know you wanna tap that shit Piapic


    If Avril intsructed you to suck her farts through a staw, you and I both know you would obey. Don't shit me tough-guy, you know you'd cross the fucking Sahara just 2 eat her socks.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Finish Daredevil/Bullseye already!!

    by cookylamoo

    You lazy poozer.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Dude, apart from the slight horse-resemblance

    by seppukudkurosawa

    I wouldn't have to be told tiwce.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:45 a.m. CST

    err twice

    by seppukudkurosawa

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith should stop picking fights with everyone

    by woxel1

    He can't be "right" all of the time.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:13 a.m. CST

    In which case you should be banned for using the words shit and

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Where do you draw the line with this banning thing? You've got a point saying that they'll keep coming back no matter what- but the registrations been closed before and I remember there being a slight downfall in trollers afterwards. Until people forget not to act like asses. "Ban em all let God sort em out", ain't the way to go. I reccommend good honest, old-fashioned shock-treatment. Or baseball bats. Or someone officially given the title Troll-Watcher, and everytime one pops-up they can be bounced.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith wasted a Saturday night on responding to loser Talkb

    by IAmLegolas

    Who's the bigger loser? The trolling, loser talkbacker or the loser who responds to them... on a Saturday night? Gosh!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Kevin. Don't Forget the Vampires and WereWolves

    by Rcamacho2278

    if you want harrys vote. put those in there SOMEwhere

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Holee Shit that was fucking funny!

    by NubtheSquirrel

    Kev, Let me say, I have been a fan since Mallrats and have been watching your movies ever since. Can't wait for Clerks 2, but when the fuck are Ranger Danger and the Danger Rangers and the Animated Clerks movie coming out? Get back to work and stop writing to us! (Well, don't stop writing to us but get those two movies out soon!) Also, since you are going back to the proverbial "barrel" here. (Whatever the fuck that means) How about an actual Bluntman and Chronic flick? Just saying. Oh, and your wife is fucking cool. Big ears are awesome! I should know. I have a set. Talkbackers begin your

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:37 a.m. CST


    by The True Priapic

    Nah,but airheadedly fuckable.Rather have a Liz Phair ravishathon.But I certainly wouldn't touch Fiona Apple.Urghhh.Unhealthy looking.Is there gonna be any totty in Clerks 2.Fucking promise me Shannon Do isn't in this.Christ,I hope the girl Brodie talked about farting in her face during a blow job was The Doherty.Give me Evan Rachel Green pererably with Smiths dirtiest fucking dialogue.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Passion of the Talkback Redux

    by Ace Hunter

    Guess this is where I quickly apologize to Mr. Smith and heap praise upon him. Nah. Still not my cup of tea. I think it's sad that he wasted all of that time with those responses. This is a few minutes out of my day compared to however long it took him to read all of those posts and then respond. I mean it's not like we're dissing a fellow director or writer in the mainstream media or from a stage where people pay $50 to hear us fart in a mike. We're just movie geeks remarking on posted stories. Sometimes the posts are informative. Sometimes funny. Sometimes mean. For example: You'd think a fat guy like that would have thick skin.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Hey Browncoats

    by modlight

    Looks like Serenity might rake in a whopping 12-15 mill it's first weekend. What a blockbuster. We were wrong to doubt you. I doubt it will experience any dropoff and it should go on to be #1 or 2 for weeks to come just like Titanic. Oh no wait, its sinking like the real Titanic. The best thing is? I haven't seen it and I am passing harsh judgement on it just because of your obnoxious attitude.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:07 a.m. CST

    modlight- talk about a poor excuse to bait innocent firefly fana

    by seppukudkurosawa

    If they want to have fun watching a movie, and maybe even make the screening even more than that, well let them. And seriously, no more talk of serenity please. You've had your talkbacks, let Kevin Smith have his. But to say that people who respond to his comments are as pathetic as him is losing the plot, he's one man...not two hundred talkbackers. It's easier to talk shit/suck the dick of one man. And then you can go back and hit the white russians afterwards without losing your whole night.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:07 a.m. CST

    May he just bear in mind that contrary to what this short editor

    by SalvatoreGravano

    While I am vaguely aware that a man named Kevin Smith directed some US films, I don't believe I have ever watched any of his oeuvres, and I guarantee you that many all over the world will not recognize his name.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:09 a.m. CST

    And though I do recognize the name of Kevin Smith, I cannot say

    by SalvatoreGravano

    They aren't Duce's "Brown Shirts", are they?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:10 a.m. CST

    kevin smith is among us????!!!!!!

    by trevorfactor

    about time! just kidding what's up Kev er um can I call you Kev *holds cheek after having been slapped* ok mr. smith is it. I think the trailer was cheesy (like harry) said but I'm still looking forward to it, though I'm having difficulties imagining Mewes not being all hyperactive. Think maybe you could steal his meds before the shoot so we get that good old crazy f'er back. I only say this because I listened to the radio show you guys did and I wanted to smack mewes for being so mellow, where's the spunk and fire. Anyway Welcome Kevin, cool to have you here. Ow and Harry "off topic BS will get you banned?" well all I can say is; (if you're pissed) I'm sorry about the whole aquaf@g t/b. It's out of control, I know, but don't blame me. I assumed you would have shut it down by now if you didn't approve.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Dear, Kevin Smith

    by Mantenna

    I just read that AICN Q&A of yours on ViewAskew and have to say, that it was the funniest shit I'ver ever read on-line. And No Sir, you don't have to blow me, I just did that myself. Neck still intact!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Oh Dear Christ,that dreadful Aquafag spacker is on here...

    by The True Priapic

    ...fuck off back to your hole and talk about pirate names or whatever........................Gods sake.....

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Okay, Kevvie...

    by JustinSane

    ...please tell me you're prepping RANGER DANGER after Clerks 2. Please. I need more sci-fi humor.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Salvatore....Smith is better known than you'd think.

    by The True Priapic

    I took his films with me to Uni and bought Amy when I got there(it was about that time it was vid released in the UK)and they became hotcakes around the Halls.Like a domino effect really.Or a drug.Younger students coming to my door asking if I "had any more like that" and shit.Notably,although its a nice feeling to introduce people to new films(or lessen known to younger or less cinema interested peeps)its always the get left to hunt the fucking things down as they're never returned.Thinking about it my Region 1 Smith around Campus stand up DVD was never returned.Fucker.Jesus Christ,this is making long gone memories come back...I remember knocking on a door to get Mallrats back from a dude in Halls.....Jesus,I helped to create little Brodie clones that started to bug the shit out of me when,after a couple of jugs od Stella started Jason Lee impressions!!Holy Fuck,I am Frankenstein.Dont think I aided Smiths wallet though,those punks just nabbed my copies.Buggers.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:24 a.m. CST

    The Difference Between Kevin Smith...

    by ZooTrain

    ...and %99.9 of all the other jerkoffs on the talkbacks. Kevin Smith made it happen. He was just like us 12-13 years ago...then he took the initiative, got off his ass, and started makin' movies. God bless him for giving us a little hope. Sure, he's made two movies that were less than wonderful (I won't say which two they are)...but shit...that's two more than any of you have made. So leave the man alone. It's terrible that it's come to this. I respect the guy for fighting back. I hope Clerks 2 rocks...cos Clerks is brilliant. And the reason that made me think that I might be able to make a movie someday. I teach, that's just as good.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    The internal logic of Ace Hunter

    by KevinSmith

    <<Passion of the Talkback Redux by Ace Hunter Guess this is where I quickly apologize to Mr. Smith and heap praise upon him. Finally! <<Nah. Still not my cup of tea. Damn - tricked again. Outwitted by the likes of an Ace Hunter << I think it&#39;s sad that he wasted all of that time with those responses. Not really. I enjoyed the fuck out of myself - as have a lot of folks here, judging by the responses. << This is a few minutes out of my day compared to however long it took him to read all of those posts and then respond. This, friends, is what&#39;s known as cognitive reframing. It&#39;s when a person justifies their own behavior by looking at a situation from a different perspective. i.e. Ace Hunter: "The mere minute it takes me to post my thoughts on an internet chat board is acceptable; but the mere half hour it took Kevin Smith to discredit me and mine is not. It&#39;s okay for me to post my feelings about Kevin Smith, but if he posts his feelings about me, he is a loser. I&#39;m a winner. I&#39;m a winner. I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a bright, shining star." << I mean it&#39;s not like we&#39;re dissing a fellow director or writer in the mainstream media or from a stage where people pay $50 to hear us fart in a mike. "I wish people would applaud me for farting into a mic." << We&#39;re just movie geeks remarking on posted stories. "I now diminish myself solely as a means of defense. Kevin Smith should be above responding to these posts. I, on the other hand, am allowed to make the posts he&#39;s not supposed to respond to, because... well, because then how would I be able to continue talking smack about him without fear or reprisal." << Sometimes the posts are informative. Sometimes funny. Sometimes mean. For example: You&#39;d think a fat guy like that would have thick skin. "It&#39;s okay for me to attack the appearance of Kevin Smith because nobody knows what I look like. Perhaps I should post a picture of an attractive, happening guy and maintain it&#39;s me, to cover my ass. Who&#39;ll know it&#39;s not me? Except me, of course - and I already hate myself, so what&#39;s the difference. No! I do not hate myself. After all, Kevin Smith blew his very first AICN Talkback post on me! I&#39;m a winner! I swear I am! I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a... oh, who the fuck am I kidding?" Nobody, chum. Nobody.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    priapic - get a job

    by trevorfactor

    hey wasn&#39;t that off topic Harry?? I think this sucks how many questions you&#39;re being inundated with?? christ people let the guy breathe

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Response to The Kevin Smith Bashers

    by Itchy

    I&#39;ve reviewed the posts in question and this thread, and have crafted this intelligent response to those who feel the need to bash on Mr. Smith and his films: Go Fuck Yourselves. He&#39;s a dude who makes movies he likes. They might not be your taste, but a lot of us find them entertaining. He&#39;s some poor schlub having fun with the business and enjoying a good deal of success. He&#39;s a generous guy (as evidenced by his awesome Katrina Relief auction where you could actually bid on a bbq at his house with some post-gorging poker thrown in) and he has enough of a sense of humour to get on here and do the old give and take with you fat, troglodytic losers. And as far as his movies go, I&#39;m generally a mild fan, but Dogma is one of the best religious movies of all time (at least for us Catholics) ... even the pastor of my church found it hilarious. So, as the bible tells us, "let he who has nothing positive to say go forth and fuck themselves senseless with a sandpaper dildo"

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:28 a.m. CST

    The internal logic of Ace Hunter

    by KevinSmith

    <<Passion of the Talkback Redux by Ace Hunter Guess this is where I quickly apologize to Mr. Smith and heap praise upon him.>> Finally! <<Nah. Still not my cup of tea. >> Damn - tricked again. Outwitted by the likes of an Ace Hunter << I think it&#39;s sad that he wasted all of that time with those responses.>> Not really. I enjoyed the fuck out of myself - as have a lot of folks here, judging by the responses. << This is a few minutes out of my day compared to however long it took him to read all of those posts and then respond. >> This, friends, is what&#39;s known as cognitive reframing. It&#39;s when a person justifies their own behavior by looking at a situation from a different perspective. i.e. Ace Hunter: "The mere minute it takes me to post my thoughts on an internet chat board is acceptable; but the mere half hour it took Kevin Smith to discredit me and mine is not. It&#39;s okay for me to post my feelings about Kevin Smith, but if he posts his feelings about me, he is a loser. I&#39;m a winner. I&#39;m a winner. I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a bright, shining star." << I mean it&#39;s not like we&#39;re dissing a fellow director or writer in the mainstream media or from a stage where people pay $50 to hear us fart in a mike. >> "I wish people would applaud me for farting into a mic." << We&#39;re just movie geeks remarking on posted stories.>> "I now diminish myself solely as a means of defense. Kevin Smith should be above responding to these posts. I, on the other hand, am allowed to make the posts he&#39;s not supposed to respond to, because... well, because then how would I be able to continue talking smack about him without fear or reprisal." << Sometimes the posts are informative. Sometimes funny. Sometimes mean. For example: You&#39;d think a fat guy like that would have thick skin.>> "It&#39;s okay for me to attack the appearance of Kevin Smith because nobody knows what I look like. Perhaps I should post a picture of an attractive, happening guy and maintain it&#39;s me, to cover my ass. Who&#39;ll know it&#39;s not me? Except me, of course - and I already hate myself, so what&#39;s the difference. No! I do not hate myself. After all, Kevin Smith blew his very first AICN Talkback post on me! I&#39;m a winner! I swear I am! I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a star, I&#39;m a... oh, who the fuck am I kidding?" Nobody, chum. Nobody.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:30 a.m. CST

    lol kevin smith double-posted

    by seppukudkurosawa

    what a noob

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:31 a.m. CST


    by KevinSmith

    <<clarification necessary by Holodigm that is, i should say, a third of the posts after Smith, not that a third of what he says is &#39;i rule&#39; and a third is &#39;i suck&#39;. or maybe he will, in which case it&#39;d be funny.>> Dude - you stole my move. I was just about to make with a shitload of "I rule, though I suck" posts. Fuck - NOW what am I gonna write about?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:32 a.m. CST

    pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

    by trevorfactor

    hollycrap I&#39;m thrilled to have a celebrity here among us though harry why did you have to put a huge flashing light on his head, with the blackbox stuff? I would have thought he&#39;d get a better experience out of this thing if he used a nickname or something that wouldn&#39;t draw so much attention to him and his words. I see Kevin you broken your double post cherry, but that&#39;s just the begining

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:33 a.m. CST

    we r teh pwn3d~!!!!!!!111

    by Voice O. Reason

    Just saying.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Why I do what I do.

    by KevinSmith

    <<What is happening with the Browncoats? Why does Kevin Smith even deal with Talk Backers? by warp11 Seriously, why does Kevin Smith even take the time to deal with talk backers. He is an amazing director and shouldn&#39;t care what one small subset of the movie going populations thinks. The success of his films is proof enough.>> You&#39;re very kind, sir (or madam), however - as "The Facts of Life" taught us - you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. The Facts of Life. In order to believe any good things people say about what I do for a living, I have to also believe the bad things... or at least read them and spray jizz all over &#39;em from time to time.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith in the house....

    by athenabodicea

    What an fucking honor man... I just want to say you are fucking brilliant... I love your Roadside Attractions stuff and have all the bobblehead characters rockin and rollin on my dashboard....Also I think you&#39;re a HOTTIE!!! Am looking forward to all you have to offer....Welcome....

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST

    A Morning with Kevin Smith

    by Sean38

    I JUST watched an Evening with Kevin Smith last night. Now he&#39;s here on the talkbacks? I think Kevin Smith is stalking me.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST

    The Matrix Retitled

    by KevinSmith

    <<Polar Bears by Domi&#39;sInnerChild I can&#39;t believe Lost ripped off Kevin Smith.>> No, no - they ripped off Jon Peters. << I&#39;m also sort of surprised so many people didn&#39;t made the connection between one of Smith&#39;s first student films being about a trainwreck documentary and the "Back to the well" title. Might as well knock off everything and good full circle, right? At least he didn&#39;t call it 38 Dicks.>> "Clerks 2: 38 Dicks" Hmmmm...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Harry could have solved the lack of blackness in KS, by just tel

    by seppukudkurosawa

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Is this just a stunt to garner publicity for your film or what

    by John-Locke

    Not that I have a problem with it, god knows we have been & will continue to talk about your new movie now you have been here to defend yourself. You have created a little extra fanboy buzz, was this your intention or are you just bored?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:43 a.m. CST

    I&#39;m just hoping the sequel is as good as the original...

    by athenabodicea

    You know, there are very few sequals that have been as good or better than the original.... I know you won&#39;t let us down... (or at least me) I haven&#39;t been disappointed yet...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Hey,Smiffy....the only time you&#39;ll find me being totally 100

    by The True Priapic

    ...but I missed Amy when it was in Theatres in Kansas(on a visit)...I rented it on vid in first year of Uni and thought it a little &#39;serious&#39;...then I fucking fell in love in my third year and that well known Affleck scene in the car in the rain....Smith,that scene speaks volumes to me now,especially as my own love affair ended like Holdens.I know everyone knows that scene but..what can I say?Im off to the pub now,I shall raise a pint to thee......

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:45 a.m. CST

    I gotta go the beach is calling

    by trevorfactor

    Kevin again good to have you here man. Hope to see ya here often, I knows this is probably a rarity to see you online but it&#39;s a beautiful day outside and I&#39;ve got to go. REMEMBER: some posts don&#39;t deserve a response, typos are common, never eat the yellow snow, The True Priapic - is exactly that, if it&#39;s brown flush it down, and always look both ways before commencing a blowjob :) and most important big smile BIG SMILE!!! later

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Oh,look...Aquafags have come desperately looking to be noticed

    by The True Priapic


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:45 a.m. CST

    Can I get a smoochie boochie....

    by athenabodicea

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Mr Smith Goes To The Phantom Zone

    by TonyWilson

    Seriously Kev, that&#39;s the place to be. ask Grande Rojo for an invite.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Nothing like starting a day to a celebrity double post.

    by Neosamurai85


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:47 a.m. CST

    In Praise of AICN

    by KevinSmith

    <<You made this bed AICN, and now you get to LIE in it. by LordEnigma - AICN&#39;s time apparently has come and gone, but the site remains still as hypocritical as ever.>> Let&#39;s not throw the baby out with the bath-water. AICN has been, and will always be, a great idea. Lots of folks here shit on Harry and call him names, but I&#39;d wager that has more to do with jealousy than anything else. Harry did something they feel they should&#39;ve: he created something. Those that can&#39;t create tend to shit on those that can. Call me a cock-suck, but I give it up (and would give IT up, if you follow me...) for Harry for seeing a hole and filling it. I respect a self-made man - particularly an outsider who makes the insiders take notice. << If Kev reads this; know Ive got your figurative back no matter what. What that equates to remains to be seen. However, you have provided me with a whole lot of entertainment in the last 11 years. While your lack of wanting to direct something with epic scope (Come on, you can shoot Green Hornet. Second Unit man, SECOND UNIT!) sort of puts me out. I will be there to see Clerks 2, buy another friggin Chasing Amy DVD (Longer Q&A on that one! The MRX one, at 49 minutes, way too short), and countless tsotkes.>> There is a place reserved in Heaven for people like you, sir. For the record, I&#39;ve nicknamed my mouth Heaven.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:48 a.m. CST

    I&#39;m sure Kevinator would love the PZ Tony

    by John-Locke

    But it wouldn&#39;t get the same publicity this little stunt does, not that there is a problem with Stunts, I&#39;ve shown up to look at this one.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Some people are knocking Mr.Smith for responding to us. I howev

    by Shermdawg

    More filmmakers need to respond to their fans/critics like this. Ratner, I&#39;m calling your bitchass out, YOU HEAR ME????

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Kevin, it&#39;s 10 to 5 here in London and I&#39;m stacking a bo

    by TonyWilson

    LOVE your films mate. Everyone of &#39;em.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:52 a.m. CST

    What the hell happened after Jersey girl?

    by Ford Prefect042

    Seriously, you were on track to do some amazing projects. You had carte blanche to produce ANY COMIC BOOK MOVIE you wanted. Then "Bennifer" came along and your first "mainstream" film get shat upon by everyone. Suddenly, those great future projects get yanked, and you&#39;re suddenly taking two steps back to the well, and making a project that you said YOU WOULD NEVER DO. So, was it a professional rejection from Hollywood? The whole Weinstein affair? Or do you really love the characters and storyline so passionately that you have to go there again? This really smells like another ViewAskew Get -all-the-guys-together-again and please the fanboys cash-in sellout that resembles J&SBSB.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Why would anyone mock KS for responding to us???

    by athenabodicea

    He is a man who came to defend his name... And AICN is one of the best movie news sights out there... Anyone who mocks him is only jealous... Plus getting out there with your fans is awesome... And spraying jizz on the KS haters is even better... lol

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Hey Kev... Is Jason Lee going to be in Clerks 2???

    by athenabodicea

    Or is he too tied up in Earl??? BTW do you have a creative hand in My Name Is Earl???

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Bad idea jeans

    by InspectorDoppler

    The reason the talkbacks are so entertaining is that they have no rules, they&#39;re a clusterfuck, anything goes. They&#39;re basically a dark pit filled with rabid rats. If you&#39;re angry at the rats, the solution is NOT to jump into the pit and start punching individual rats. Cause WELCOME TO OUR PIT, MUTHAFUCKA!!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:58 a.m. CST

    It&#39;s True Kev, Tony Wilson really loves your films

    by John-Locke

    He&#39;s always going on about how much he loves you, I&#39;m watch yourself around him if I was you, that much man love is disturbing, however if you ever need someone to suck your cock (if you need a change from sucking it yourself) Tony Wilson is your man.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Admit it Kev, you&#39;re afraid of being band for saying the sit

    by Neosamurai85

    Just kidding. We don

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11 a.m. CST

    Looking forward to seeing you in the PZ...

    by athenabodicea


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11 a.m. CST


    by TonyWilson

    I mean, hell yes I would but playing it coy and hard to get is SOOOOO much more damn enticing, if I just give it up on the first date he won&#39;t respect me, even for 2 seconds, after the GULP.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:02 a.m. CST

    What in the piss are the &#39;browncoats&#39;?

    by Johnny FilmMaker

    i assume there are dirt-colored coats involved, and perhaps some form of censorship involved? Are these &#39;browncoats&#39; cowboys? because if they are, i mean shit...they just shoot people in the street and we should likey, uh, you know...listen to them. Otherwise i am now gonna check out the Clerks 2 trailer.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    " of being banned"

    by Neosamurai85

    Spelling? Pish posh... My head is other places... like mostly still asleep. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    I forgot how good at head you are Tony

    by John-Locke

    2 seconds and it&#39;s all over, it&#39;s the fingers up the butt that clinches the deal, theres nothing quite like a milked prostate & head.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Damn it John stop giving up my best moves, Sheesh, I won&#39;t

    by TonyWilson

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:05 a.m. CST

    hehe browncoats

    by luckylindy

    Brown&#39;s the color of poo...anyway, wow kevin smith...holy shit...thats pretty damn cool. what&#39;s up man? cant wait for clerks 2: revenge of the milk maid...o wait crap its passion of the clerks, all trolls settle down and have some Chewlies gum please

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Well as I was saying in the &#39;PZ&#39;.........

    by doglips

    I have only seen half of Clerks, ( I stacked my bong a bit full and I think had a whitey, thus missing the rest - a long long time ago.... ) and so never really followed the rest of your movies Mr Smith. I do however love your Daredevil comics.........Did you like the film?? Mr Affleck - good or ummmm?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    I am kinnda new to the talbacks..

    by HolyCalamity

    I have been coming to this site for years so it worries me what will happen after I say this BUT I really like Ben Affleck! I like almost every movie he&#39;s in (I know that is sacrilege here, so sue me!!). I do think he is most affective in his "Dick Head" roll, like Dazed and Confused and Mall rats, but I like him in other stuff too. For the Record, Jersey Girl only complaint was J-lo, but smith had the brains to kill her off fast enough... Kevin Clerks 2 might not be a smash like J@SB, but you&#39;ll have my 8 bucks!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:07 a.m. CST

    just to spit shine the helmet

    by zombieslayer

    I loved the hell outta Vulgarthon 2005, although i was passing out about halfway through tea party... Also, thank you for bringing me movies I can realte to, getting me into Green Arrow, but damn you for making me dig out my old comics boxes to catch up with Spidey/Black Cat. Anyway, takes a pretty big man to take on all the "little bitches" who you&#39;ve already beat down in effigy. Good show, sir.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:07 a.m. CST

    HE SUCKS! Totally Overrate... (Oh, Wait, He&#39;s Here?) OMG!

    by ZombieSolutions

    tee hee. seriously though. good luck with the Clerks sequel. i&#39;ll definately be seeing it. CLERKS and CHASING AMY were my two faves, but i liked most of yer other flicks too. haven&#39;t seen JERSEY GIRL cause it doesn&#39;t look like my cup of tea, but, whatevah. take care...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    I tells ya....

    by Terry_1978

    This entire talkback is hilarious. That&#39;s all.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:10 a.m. CST

    It&#39;s all good.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Kevin: the majority of the AICN community think your movies are great! I just read your responses. Most of us think your movies are great but get tired of defending quality films against the utter stupidity of the hatemongers.>> I would love to believe that it&#39;s only the very vocal minority that doesn&#39;t like what I do, but I know better by now. And believe me - people not liking my flicks doesn&#39;t keep me awake at night. You put anything out there, some folks are gonna like it, some folks are gonna hate it, and some folks will be indifferent. But my feeling is that if some folks feel they have the right to try to be clever in a negative way at my expense in their little corner of the &#39;net, then don&#39;t I also have the right to do the same, at their expense? I mean, fair&#39;s fair. It&#39;s just funny how quickly the tables turn, and I&#39;m portrayed as the loser for caring/responding, when they launched the opening salvo. In any event, it&#39;s all fun and games. When the shit dies down, I&#39;m still me, and they&#39;re still them. And I know how fulfilled I am with what I do and who I am; just wonder if they feel the same way about themselves. I&#39;m betting no.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Jersey Girl wasn&#39;t his best work...

    by athenabodicea

    But certainly enjoyable... And come on people... What&#39;s not to love in a movie with George Carlin.. I saw George Carlin at the Capital Theatre in Portchester NY like 10 years ago... Kevin must have loved working with GC again.....

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Is Jason Lee really a Scientologist now?

    by AllHailTheChin

    Sorry but they freak me out with their theories on Clams etc.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST


    by luckylindy


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Mr. Smith, Thanks for CHASING AMY

    by Nordling

    If for nothing else, you made a great movie there. And I hope Prince didn&#39;t send his Minneapolis posse after you for spilling the beans about his project. That was some funny shit, sir. Good luck on CLERKS 2. This 36 year old would like to hear your take on the death of idealism (I&#39;m assuming that&#39;s what it&#39;s about).

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Ok... he hasn&#39;t posted in like twenty four minutes, I&#39;m

    by Shermdawg

    Nuf Said. Nuff said.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST

    If Kevin keeps on responding, people will be asking him more and

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Which means at this rate Kevin Smith will be ours forever, stuck in our own twisted little mouse-trap continuum...thing.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith

    by Fernwick_

    Kev, its an honor to talk to you man. And read you tearing these guys new assholes. But seriously dude, if your gonna respond to these ass hats then you need to put in the subject the person your responding to like so... RE: STUPID MORONIC HOMO CHIMP and then respond in the comments, I seriously dont want to have to reread ALL of the comments by these morons. Now to some serious stuff, I seriously think your writing rocks, but I think (personal opinion dude) that the actors have a tough time with it. I have seen all of your films, and for example Dogma.... there is a scene where Matt and Ben are walking and they TOTALLY get the dialoge right, most of the early flicks dont have a bunch of that. The matieral is awesome but the actors seem to fumble it up. Another example, in Jay and Silent Bob, the so called REAL actors in teh bob and jay suits, you know, the pie fucker. They seemed to have a grasp on it. I dont know, I dont know shit, but it always seems as if the dialoge is the shit, but the actors seem to bungle it ever so slightly. Am I nuts dude? By the way, it would be the shit if you just wanted into my forums and my site, and said ANYTHING, even if you just said we were all a bunch of poopsocks. That would be SOOO cool. Fanboy to the end man...... Fernwick AKA: HAMFERNO

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:16 a.m. CST

    KEVIN I turned on you when you started promoting Jersey Girl say

    by VatoLoco

    And I hope Mewes is allowed to smoke the chronic!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:17 a.m. CST


    by Fernwick_

    By the day dude, is it totally out of the realms of possibility that you use Chevy Chase as Fletch again if you do Flech Won? Dude, no one in my opinion can pull that off like Chevy. Fernwick

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:21 a.m. CST

    "When the shit dies down, I&#39;m still me, and they&#39;re stil

    by Neosamurai85

    Oh come on man, it takes a second to say,

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:22 a.m. CST

    A big director in waistline-only

    by KevinSmith

    <<I just read what he wrote... by Drworm2002 Shit I know that if I was a big director>> Oh, man, I feel a fat joke coming... <<I would love to ahve my own talk name in AICN...>> My faith in humanity has been restored. Sir, I&#39;m NOT a big director (unless you count the gut); as someone here aptly put it, I&#39;m a fanboy in director&#39;s clothing (size XXL... alright, alright - XXXL; sheesh, let a brother dream, will ya&#39;?). I&#39;m an avid movie/film fan who took a shot at making his own flick, and it suddenly turned in to a career. There ain&#39;t a day I don&#39;t wake up and think "Fuck, I&#39;m more lucky than talented." But either way, I hit the jackpot: I get to earn of my hobby. But I never forget that this whole film thing is something I lucked into more than anything else. I get that I&#39;m out-classed, out-directed, and out-done by 99% of the directors working today (alright, alright - 100% of the directors working today). However, that doesn&#39;t change the fact that I got my dream job. And for as many people who actually peep the stuff I do and dislike it, there are a bunch of cats who feel the opposite. And it&#39;s thanks to the latter group that I get to continue doing what I do. Does that make me a big director? No. It makes me an insanely lucky fanboy who gave it a shot and scored. If any of the haters here used their time to try the same (to actually create something) instead of bashing on the folks whose only crime was doing rather than blasting those who do, they might find themselves in my same position. But for now, their content with their current position: on bended knees, with my cock in their ass.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Problem with Chevy Chase is....

    by Razorback

    The guy is no longer funny. He got too serious and just doesn&#39;t have it in him anymore. Lee will make a great Fletch.... once those execs see that his show is kicking ass and taking names (it beat Amazing Race in the ratings on Tuesday, and was right behind House).

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    To spit or to swallow.

    by KevinSmith

    <<So we get to chat with Mr. Smith eh? by Neosamurai85 All I really want to know is, if the film does suck, can you promise it will swallow?>> If the film does, indeed, suck, it will, at the very least, PRETEND to swallow - then quietly adjourn to the bathroom sink to cough out that nasty man-gravy, look at itself in the mirror, and hiss "You&#39;re better than this." Kinda like my wife.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Kevin the secret to getting the swallow is.....

    by TonyWilson

    lots of pineapple and cinnamon smoothies.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    kevin smith, WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with you!?!

    by satansteve

    i mean seriously come on. you have made a fucking truckload of money from ur films, merchandise, comic books (loved green arrow man, loved it), ur movies are adored the world over (tho not by a lot of people here), you have a gorgeous wife, you picked up an empire award (one of the funniest speeches ive ever heard) and ur filmin what is bound to be a monster indy hit and yet you waste your time coming to these talkbacks and reading what all these incessant fuckers who dont get laid and live with their mothers bitch about ur movies. seriously, there has to be something better for you to do than read every last little insult that these neo-nazi dickshits can spew from their foul little mouths. now dont take this as criticism or a hate post, cuz im a huge HUGE fan, got ur movies, comics, even your book (which got me through some tough times man i swear) but i dont understand how a man with your reputation insists on listening to anything those retards who insist on bashing EVERY SINGLE FUCKING thing you have done, said or are about to do, with little evidence to back up their posts. Love ya dude, and can&#39;t wait for clerks 2!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    When you&#39;re right, you&#39;re right.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Well I for one don&#39;t want to make Smith&#39;s Cock-Suck List, so... by SmarkJobber ...I&#39;ll just say that the dude couldn&#39;t even make, like, a poon-on-poon scene between Jolie and Alba exciting to watch.>> The man&#39;s not wrong, folks. I&#39;d probably have them talking about fucking, and never actually show the actual fucking, thinking that&#39;s what people want to see: Jolie and Alba talking about fucking each other.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Kevin - Something I&#39;ve Always Wondered...

    by Sean38 do you feel about the whole Blanking Blank phenomenon. After Chasing Amy, it seemed as if every other movie that came out was doing something to some name. Finding Nemo, for example. How did you come up with the title Chasing Amy, and what do you think about the fact that you started a trend?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST

    something kevin wrote a few months back

    by pants009

    while you were filming "catch" you wrote something in your blog that truely touched me, because I was going through the same thing. You were driving around vancuever (sp?) and reliving the time you lived out there and how much you missed your friends and evenutally you came back etc.... well the same was going on in my life when you posted that and I just want to say thank you, because it actually helped me make a major life decision. So... Thank you very much sir.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:29 a.m. CST

    I&#39;ll write it on spec

    by Ford Prefect042

    KS wrote:"...then quietly adjourn to the bathroom sink to cough out that nasty man-gravy, look at itself in the mirror, and hiss "You&#39;re better than this."----I&#39;d pay to see an entire movie based on this scene.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:31 a.m. CST

    "After Chasing Amy, it seemed as if every other movie that came

    by Neosamurai85

    Not to speak for da man who is silent... but what you smoking? Movies have been doing the blanking blank thing for decades. Now the drawing woman naked trend started by Titanic... that&#39;s something for discussion. When do we get James in here offering to suck us. You know he&#39;s got the toys. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Jersey Girl: The Horror. The Horror.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Jersey Girl didn

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    My go-to joke.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Favorite Clerks joke... by Neosamurai85 Probably the suck your own dick skit in the car... nice set up.>> Mom?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST


    by John-Locke

    Apart from Fletch have you got any Genre Projects waiting up your sleeves, a western perhaps or some big budget Sci Fi, or does telling stories about fantasy on screen not excite you enough. How about Star Wars TV series, is your involvement just a rumour?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Jolie and Alba talking about fucking each other


    If you had Vilmos light and shoot Jolie and Alba talking about fucking each other... picked the right food for them to be eating while talking about fucking each other... And you had it go on for 20 minutes - I think that would be the world&#39;s greatest tease scene in cinematic history ! You sir are GENIUS! So after CLERKS 2 - make the movie with that scene!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Why I don&#39;t like any of your movies:

    by jackinitraw

    Feel free to make a seemingly intelleigent response by citing first year psych terminology. I feel quite comfortable in not liking your movies because they don&#39;t entertain me. I don&#39;t feel as it&#39;s subjective and there are levels of quality in movies that yours don&#39;t possess. Your story arcs are as basic as a grade three creative writing project. Your characters are all extensions of the actors (90% of the time. the other 10% I credit the actors for taking it further) so there&#39;s no creativity there. Your understnding of framing is absent. You basically rely entirely on post modern references for low level jokes every 5 minutes and in between throw in some cursing. The only reason you&#39;re still working is because you&#39;ve made a face to go with your name by casting yourself in your first movie and then doing things like this. On a personal level you may a nice guy but in a more fair and just world you&#39;d be working the counter at a comic book store and David Lynch would have less trouble getting projects geenlit. You&#39;re the geek that made why not try doing something with that and parting with this pseudo-auteur of B grade rehashed humour and making a good movie?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Words from the grave.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Good on ya, Mr. Smith by eppdude I think it&#39;s commendable that Kevin has enough studio confidence to make whatever film he wishes.>> That&#39;s not confidence, bro. That&#39;s an inability to do much of anything else. <<He&#39;s for sure not a studio bitch.>> No - I&#39;m a TalkBack Bitch. Use my mouth as you will, as long as you don&#39;t hit me afterwards. << I work as a film critic for a newspaper, and personally, I&#39;m a huge fan of Smith&#39;s.>> I&#39;ve said it before, and I&#39;ll say it again: why didn&#39;t YOU review "Jersey Girl" for the NY Times? << I even try to defend Mallrats (which is tough, Kev).>> Look who you&#39;re telling. << I hope that after you have some more fun with another Clerks (which I&#39;m sure will be moderately inspired) you&#39;ll delve deep again like you did with Amy and even Jersey.>> One day, sir - when the wounds have healed. << &#39;Course, Smith knows his audience, and they may not be as interested in thoughtful writing as they are the dick and fart jokes.>> They&#39;re a varied bunch; some cats like the D&F, some cats like the introspective, and some cats like the Shit Monster. <<For my money, Kev, fuck these guys who don&#39;t understand or appreciate your attempt to write meaningful, thoughtful material. The versatility in your writing is something to be proud of.>> Dad? No, wait - Dad&#39;s dead. Ghost of Dad? Thanks for the kind words.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by KevinSmith

    <<Fuck Pauly Shore..!! by Experiment 626 No, seriously. What&#39;s up Kev? Jersey Girl not quite the breakaway one had hoped for, eh?>> Shit... Was it that obvious? <<CLERKS 2000, indeed...>> "Clerks 2006", bro. Keep up with the times. To be fair, however, I did announce "Clerks 2" before "Jersey Girl" even came out (a brother could see the writing on the wall); just didn&#39;t announce the title at that point.

  • No no no. There&#39;s still Herr Panzerdirecktor Uwe Boll and Paul "Worthless Shit" Anderson who rank far far _far_ below you.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Love. Exciting and new.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Okay, Kev... I sit here, I wait... by moviemaniac-7 ... and I won&#39;t cum in your mouth. I&#39;m a nice enough guy to give you a warning in advance.>> And that is why you&#39;ll get a pinky in your asshole, mid-suck, sir - because you&#39;re a decent person.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    I read this and all I think is JSBSB

    by invalid entry

    Jay reading the "shootbacks" and getting pissed off. Kevin, does this end with you flying to everyones houses here and kicking their ass? Cause I am all for it. I hate all these negative nancys.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Anytime my good man, anytime...

    by Neosamurai85

    Exaggeration was present. It really was more an expectation then. It was the first real Jay and Silent Bob free film. People wanted to see what you were made of. But who really thought when they herd the pitch that this would be your gold. It was a funny film you could watch with you mum. The day I see you make a comic book film or something else that you

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I know

    by Sean38

    Yes, NeoSam, I realize Kevin was the FIRST to do this, but you can&#39;t deny the trend gained SERIOUS momentum after Chasing Amy.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Juliet - the dice was loaded from the start.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Kevin Smith responded to me! by Brock Tune That&#39;s right fuckers, he replied, to ME. I&#39;m HUGE! And what&#39;s more, I think he even proposed to me. Marriage! Ok I know he didn&#39;t propose to me but was just insinuating I was gay for another poster, but a boy can dream can&#39;t he?>> This has always been your problem: you&#39;ve never been able to read my signals. We are, indeed, star cros&#39;t.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:42 a.m. CST

    jackintraw really should just have called himself "MagnoliaFan"

    by TonyWilson

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    BLUSH - Kevin admires that I found a hole to fill!!!


    But every good Talkbacker knows I&#39;ve never seen a hole, nor could I fill it what with the fat clogged mangina I&#39;m stuck with

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    My mouth would make an intestesting urinal.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Am I the only one that dosn&#39;t want a blow job from Kev? by Neosamurai85 October 2nd, 2005 02:46:24 AM CST Don

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Red Bank native giving a shout out and thanks!!!

    by TheImperialGuy

    I just wanted to throw a post out in hopes Kev will see it. I was born in Red Bank (Riverview Hospital, baby! Yeah! Ahem...) and while I did not actually live there, I grew up just a few miles from Red Bank in Belford. I just wanted to say thanks, Kevin for putting us on the map! I live in Orlando now, but I visited my Dad in NJ a few years ago and stopped into The Secret Stash just DAYS before a scene was shot there for "Jay and Silent Bob." It was exciting! It really IS cool to see hometown references in all your flicks. Little things like the US1 Flea Market in "Mallrats." I really DO love ALL your movies... even "Jersey Girl." Admittedly, it wasn&#39;t your best work, but it&#39;s the first movie I saw with my boyfriend so it too, holds a special place in my heart. Yeah, yeah... I&#39;m one of the cocksuckers you so frequently speak of... bonafide!!! Although I love all your movies, Kevin, I think I&#39;m the only who thought your "Superman Lives" script sucked balls... much like myself! Peace!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:46 a.m. CST

    directors worse than Kevin Smith - redux!

    by Strabo

    I&#39;d also throw in the cocksuckers who made Flightplan. Jesus, that movie fucking sucked.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:47 a.m. CST

    You, and me, and ass-baby makes three!

    by KevinSmith

    <<Mallrats is to the 90s as Citizen Kane was to the 40s... OK, well that is hyperbole, but Mallrats really is a criminally underrated flick, and deserves a spot next to some of the world&#39;s most best comedies.>> Sir, men cannot have babies. But if they could, I would carry your seed in my womb and build for you the best damn same-sex-engineered baby that ever lived! <<I watched Dogma last night though for the first time in a while... a fucking great example of when the subject matter (or writer) is in love with itself and allows the film to run on 40 minutes too long.>> I retract my earlier sentiment. << I like the movie sort of, but damn, that fucking thing needs to have its stomach stapled shut or something.>> Always with the fat jokes... <<Kevin let that one get out of hand... And what&#39;s with the hating on Wisconsin?>> Nothing personal; it was just next to Illinois.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:49 a.m. CST

    N..n...n...New Jack... New Jack...

    by KevinSmith

    <<Fuckin&#39; class act, man... by Kamikaze_Jones Say what you will about Smith&#39;s films, but at least he&#39;s got the nuts to jump into this cesspool and talk to the fans on our level. Bravo, man.>> What can I say? It was a Saturday night, I was knee-deep in the "Desperate Housewives" box set with the wife, and this shit be calling me. It be calling me.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Favorite Cameo

    by invalid entry

    Kevin Smith on Project Greenlight 1.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Ad campaign for "Clerks XX" - coming in 2014

    by KevinSmith

    <<And Clerks is unwatchable... by El Scorcho Someone had to say it. It&#39;s impressive for what resources were had, but it puts me to sleep every time I try to watch it.>> "Clerks" - It will cure your insomnia.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Dogma is the greatest religious comedy of all time

    by Razorback

    And anyone who disagrees is an idiot and should disconnect themselves from the Internet. Stop being stupid. AICN should ban your account. Seriously.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:52 a.m. CST

    In defense of Dogma

    by zacdilone

    Dogma&#39;s length is perfect. It&#39;s definitely my favorite KS film. Hell, I&#39;m a preacher and I did a sermon based on the film. Had some angry parents afterwards, though. "You said you recommended this could you?" Hehehe.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Bringing coals to Newcastle.

    by KevinSmith

    <<I have to admit, that was some of the funniest shit I&#39;ve read in a long time. by Mystic_Geek The guy is great, come on...that&#39;s funny shit right there. I liked him raking onefalsemove over the coals. He has the perfect take on all the talkbackers here on AICN. Rabid weasles fucking in a burlap bag indeed!>> What&#39;s the old saying? It&#39;s like winning the Special Olympics...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Kevin&#39;s resume is like every other resume.

    by dr_dreadlocks

    There are some jobs you want to exclude from showing other people. There are some that you want to put into BOLD TEXT and tell EVERYONE. That&#39;s just the shit you have to deal with when you make films. I mean, I&#39;m sure Spielberg never mentions "Always", "Hook" or "1941" when talking about his material. Who can blame him? It seemed like a good idea at the time and didn&#39;t turn out to be one. The kicker is trying to make MOST of your resume worthwhile. Kevin, so far, has made quite a few good films and will stand to make a few more if he keeps it up. But be patient, take your time, write some good scripts and make your movies. That&#39;s all I can ask you to do. I&#39;ll show up when I&#39;m interested, and might not show up when I couldn&#39;t be damned. Jersey Girl looked like a film I wouldn&#39;t enjoy and I avoided it in theatres. I&#39;ll admit that, as I&#39;m sure others will. I saw it at home and felt that it was a solid little movie with some Smith touches, but felt a bit more formulaic and... romantically comedic without being edgey. Which is something Kevin used to have in spades, and I&#39;m sure he still does but he&#39;s hiding his cards with &#39;JG&#39;. If Clerks 2 is a return to form I&#39;ll be there in theatres and watch it, applaud, and buy the DVD. If it isn&#39;t, tough luck, but I&#39;ll wait for the next film and see if it is too. It&#39;s a film by film basis for me. It&#39;s two years of Kevin&#39;s life, yes, but it&#39;s only two hours of mine. So why do I care if I feel as though it&#39;s wasted? I would&#39;ve probably done something useless in that time anyway. Ragging on a film-maker for putting a year of heart into two hours is just stupid. They felt that it was important and committed time to that importance. Even if I dislike it, it&#39;s just two hours taken away from "Jerk-Off, etc." time. So I&#39;m never angry. I just wait to see if the interest is there. It&#39;s the job of the film-maker to create interest and deliver. I&#39;m just nine bucks and a bucket of popcorn. (Which is why most film-makers start to become condescending because the &#39;audience&#39; becomes a smoldering mass of idiots who are willing to watch anything.) Kevin seems to like his fan-base, at least the more mature part of it, and I respect that. Shit, some film-makers hate everyone, including the people that pay their bills, mow their (ever larger) lawns, furnish their house, and put their kids through college. Frankly, that&#39;s life. That&#39;s what we&#39;re all dealing with. And I&#39;ve been talking for way too long.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Blessed is he who cums in the name of the Lord.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Fuck you Brock Tune... by WONKABAR KS is hooking me up with JESUS BITCH!>> Just this one time, our Lord and Savior will overlook an unholy, same-sex union and bless our love. I can feel it.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:54 a.m. CST

    The Greatest Religious Comedy of all time

    by John-Locke

    Is what&#39;s going on in the world right now.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Oscar for Southland Tales, Kevin?

    by dobbler

    Really think it&#39;s gonna go that far? That would be awesome! btw why do I have to pay if I want to join your boards, that kinda goes against the spirit of the internet. Either getting it free or stealing it free.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:55 a.m. CST

    So Kev?

    by Neosamurai85

    I dare you to offer zacdilone a blow job, cause that was some pretty cool shit he just said about Dogma. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:56 a.m. CST

    There&#39;s only one way that I will see Clerks 2

    by blingbling

    And that&#39;s if Rosario Dawson has a full frontal scene. Otherwise, it&#39;s just another unnecessary sequel.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:56 a.m. CST

    RAZORBACK - Don&#39;t Let Hyperbole Get The Best Of You!


    DOGMA is fucking hilarious... but the best religious comedy ever is LIFE OF BRIAN. But after LIFE OF BRIAN is DOGMA and of course STAR TREK 5

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Pass the mic.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Kevin Smith, you kick ass. by iamnicksaicnsn The fact that you make time to sign as much autographs and hang with the fans at the cons is awesome.>> I do that because I&#39;m a sexual predator who likes to scout for the chubbiest, male "Babylon 5" fans he can get his mitts on. << I was at Wonder Con here in SF, got you and Jay&#39;s autographs, and it was just so cool to see you guys live and in person.>> Did Mewes smell bed? I&#39;ve heard he smells bed. <<Unfortunately I didn&#39;t get to see your talk, but, oh well.>> I assure you, you missed nothing except me farting into a microphone.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Black post! Black post! Oh wait...It&#39;s just Harry, nevermind

    by Shermdawg

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Harry man, you&#39;re old news now

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Make way for Kevin...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:59 a.m. CST


    by KevinSmith

    <<Alright, Smith... by Darth Jesus how about some motherfucking proper credit for Jack Kirby&#39;s creations?>> Kirby&#39;s a genius. I&#39;ve got nothing but love for Kirby. But I gots to give props to the writer before the artist: the guy who comes up with the concept in the first place, y&#39;know? The guy who&#39;s like "I got it! Spider-MAN!" I got love for Kirby, but I got awe for Stan Lee.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, noon CST

    The future, Conan?

    by Ford Prefect042

    Years from now, after KS has completed his double trilogy with "Clerks:Episode III-Dante&#39;s Remorse", we&#39;ll all be bitching about how he changed a bunch of crap for his "Special Editions", and arguing over timeline continuity, and Kevin will be somewhere banging his third trophy wife on a massive pile of $100 bills.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, noon CST

    Looking forward to Clerks 2.

    by speed

  • Oct. 2, 2005, noon CST


    by KevinSmith

    <<Oh, but I wish there was some actual footage of SOMEthing in the teaser... by iamnicksaicnsn I mean, ca-mannnn.>> It&#39;s coming, bro. We start shooting a week from tomorrow.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, noon CST

    Re: Kev&#39;s Statement

    by Fernwick_

    Dude, what you didnt isnt an accident. What you did was find out that you have a gift for making people laugh. Whether its with writing, filmmaking, talking in front of a bunch of people, or slaughtering morons in talkback. So it was no accident my friend, you merely found the spout for your creative, comedic talent. Now back to the Fletch thing, im sorry but anyone who says people STOP being funny is wrong. Now comedians MUST evolve, and change with the times and climate, and some are just the victims of bad writing. For example, I saw Chevy on Politically Incorrect (pardon the spelling) and he was HILARIOUS. His humor is more subtle, the gestures, the blinking... the pauses. His TIMING is perfect, now he has been given CRAP matierial but thats the fault of the writers, and his mananger for not seeing it and saying WHOA dont do that dude. Heck Kev could bring back Chevy like Quentin brought back Travolta. What do you say Kev, you for bringing back Chevy? Or at least debunk that Star Wars TV show rumor dude. Fernwick

  • Oct. 2, 2005, noon CST

    would meaning of life be considered religious?

    by luckylindy

    cuz that is just a little above Life if Brian i think...but dont get me of bwian is great. Maybe meaning could be a philisophical movie...i just dont know...<cough>bigus dickus<cough>

  • Look, I know they guy is offering to slurrp ya meat tubes... but where&#39;s the love for LIFE OF BRIAN? You people make me feel old. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:01 p.m. CST

    No! Kevin, Dogma!

    by Razorback

    How dare you? Sir... how dare you impugn the greatness of Dogma? Sir... sir. I mean, come on. Dogma is Dogshityummygood!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Shermdawg, Seppuku - Remember Kev might stroke your ego, BUT I H



  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Grande Rojo & The Kevinator should...

    by John-Locke

    Duke it out in the Evil Fucking Bastard Room. Make it happen Harry.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Ah... thank you Harry

    by Neosamurai85

    My point made. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Nevermind, it was just Harry...

    by Razorback

    I stand corrected. Dogma still rules.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Sorry Mr.HEADGEEK sir. It won&#39;t happen again.

    by Shermdawg

    Nuff said. Nuff said.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:04 p.m. CST


    by KevinSmith

    <<lame gimmick to spin web hype by dr.bulber pump that online fanbase when appropriate>> Dude, if this was about hype, I&#39;d have stayed over on my website (, where we talk about how stellar "Clerks 2" ( is gonna be, and sell all sorts of sweet-ass, must-have View Askew merchandise (! Clods like this fuck amaze me. I respond to posts about me, and it&#39;s somehow me trying to hype a flick we haven&#39;t even started shooting yet. You need to buy a clue (on sale at

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:04 p.m. CST

    How&#39;d shooting for Southland Tales go?

    by Winterchili

    That flick is going to be amazing.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:06 p.m. CST

    its like people only do things because they get paid

    by luckylindy

    and thats just really sad

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Hey, Kevin...

    by PsychoCrash

    When are you going to make a political film so Variety can jizz over the chance to write the headline "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"? Oh, and I love your work. Always seemed to come in at the right point in my life. When I first watched Clerks, I was working my first job at 7-11. When I watched Dogma, I was finally curious about religion, so on and so forth. So, thanks for being a part of my youth.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:06 p.m. CST

    I Don&#39;t Know What The Greatest Relgious Comedy Was, But I Kn

    by ZombieSolutions

    most offensive film EVER. and totally hilarious. Gibson is an anti-semite psychopath and should be blacklisted. it&#39;s not really his fault thought seeing as how he was clearly severely psychologically (and probably sexually) abused by his nazi apologist right wing catholic fathter. btw, Kevin, you&#39;re not still a catholic are you? please say you&#39;ve seen the light. as a jersey guy, you must&#39;ve read about what&#39;s going on in philly? god i hope they shut that whole nightmarish and evil organization down.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Meaning of Life was less like a Religious movie than a Religious

    by seppukudkurosawa

    I dug the philosophical fish though.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    In theaters, 2010.

    by KevinSmith

    <<Great, just great. If I knew the man himself was gonna respond to my comment, I wouldn&#39;t have posted a damn quote from Mallrats. *sigh* by Shermdawg What I really wanted to say was: Mr.Smith sir, my local news recently reported that Mr.Affleck might be moving to my neck of the woods and run for a Virginia senate seat. If this happens, I&#39;m guessing he won&#39;t be able to appear in any of your future projects. Does that mean they will be better? P.S.: He was the bomb in Phantoms.>> Look for "Jersey Girl 2: JLo&#39;s Revenge!" starring the Senator from Virginia in 2010!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Meaning of Life

    by Neosamurai85

    Not sure, but it lacks the film skill of Brian. It is funny as hell and my favorite of the three, but it get&#39;s a tad iffy to call Religious comedy. Either way, the film kicks more ass than Chaptian Mic-asskicker... coming soon to a comic book store nowhere near you... Peace

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    dammit harry whyd you have to do this today

    by luckylindy

    i have a freakin paper to write, instead im hitting refresh more than i ever should in one hour

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Kev, why didn&#39;t you FIX CANADA while you were here?

    by bluebottle

    Did you see how ass-backwards everything is here? Did you see how much ass kissing their was of YOUR ass. You could have fixed our Country. YOU COULD HAVE FIXED IT! But you just came to feel up Caitlin, and you ABANDONED us. YOU ASS. (count the number of times i used the word "ass" it&#39;s a clue to decoding a greater meaning within this post... i&#39;m full of shit. go eat your breakfast)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:10 p.m. CST

    So it is settled, Dogma is the greatest Religious Comedy ever ma

    by Razorback

    Oh, and I am your hero.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    "Whaddya want on yer Tombstone?"

    by KevinSmith

    <<Shrug,..still a Chasing Amy fan. by the_pissboy1 I can watch Chasing Amy pretty much anytime. In fact, a friend of mine just borrowed it this weekend. Mallrats, while sloppy at in spots amuses more often than 90% of the comedies I see. BTW, I met Smith at San Diego Comic-con the summer before Chasing Amy hit theaters...and he was a really nice guy. Loved seeing his talk at the Con this year. He&#39;s knows how to work an audience and he suffers from no delusions about his filmmaking skills.>> Sir, I charge you with this sacred duty: when I die (cause of death: a fat-surrounded heart undone by a small staircase), make sure "He suffered from no delusions about his filmmaking skills" is engraved on my head-stone. It will sum up my entire existence.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Regarding Kevin Smith and filmmaking

    by AlexanderDeLarge

    I know I don&#39;t speak for most of the ten year olds who crack wise in this here lovely website, but many of us here do fantasize feverishly about becoming filmmakers. I may not think everything Kevin does is necessarily gold, but I&#39;m glad he&#39;s out there with one foot in our world and one foot in "theirs". I&#39;ll continue to support the guy because a) I&#39;ve never regretted seeing a Kevin Smith movie and b) the man&#39;s got a sense of humor about himself and realizes that what brought him there is luck as much as talent (the percentage of either varies depending on who&#39;s judging the work). Smith is appreciative of the good fortune he&#39;s had in life, and that&#39;s the one thing I always hope for from a person who&#39;s succeeded. Well, that and a promise of sexual favors in a talkback. But mostly the good attitude.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    The Last Temptation of the Smith

    by Ace Hunter

    Really? You&#39;re still responding? You seem to take things REALLY personal. Did you write letters to all those who wrote bad reviews for Jersey Girl? And if so, does your hand still hurt? The point I was trying to make earlier is that it seems hypocritical to complain about people criticizing you and your work (NOT your wife; I wouldn&#39;t blame you for lashing back at that)when you have been known to do the same about others. This seems far more damaging in your position. (Internet geeks criticize directors/writers/producers=nobody really cares. Kevin Smith criticizes directors/writers/producers=media coverage, deals falling through, below the line crew lose potential work.) I agree with you that you are in a great position in your life (professional success, great family life), so let all of us who are insanely jealous have our meaningless jabs. By the way, if I hate myself so much, why does my hand do that thing with my naughty parts so much?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    To clarify-

    by bluebottle

    I&#39;m not talking about anything other than the HORRIBLE CONDITIONS OF OUR FILM AND TELEVISION INDUSTRY. ass.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:12 p.m. CST

    The Passion of the People Who Don&#39;t Like the Title

    by KevinSmith

    <<Don&#39;t mind another CLERKS as long as they change the title to something better than THE PASSION OF THE CLERKS... by brokentusk I&#39;m thinking that the joke will be long dead by the time the actual movie comes out. Besides, CLERKS is so recognizable by itself, it doesn&#39;t need to piggyback onto the name of another movie in order to be funny>> Dude, I read the script. Yes, we do.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Ace Hunter... that argument is typical from a pussy like you

    by Razorback

    So you babble on and on about people on the Internet and then one of them responds and you cry "Oh man! You must have nothing better to do than be HUMAN and post like 99% of the people on the Internet! How dare you not be an elitist asshole who never talks to us?! WAAAHHH!" You are a bitch.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Ah fuck...

    by Neosamurai85

    We don&#39;t want Affleck... David Lynch needs to move back... not he who shaged J-lo. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Serious question about Dogma.

    by TonyWilson

    Hey Mr Smith got a question for you, that would settle a bet and allow me to totally OWN a good mate of mine. He likes Dogma but has a problem when Ben Affleck starts turning and getting all Satanic and wants to just kill kill kill. He reckons it&#39;s totally out of character and badly written, because all the way through the it&#39;s Matt Damon who is trigger happy. I always argue that while Damon wants to anyone who commits deadly sins, Affleck who is a "watcher" and can see the thoughts of anyone and everyone knows how fucking shitty we are and that we just be cleaned off the earth. Am I right about his motivations?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Fuck it, you&#39;ve had my lame ass for over a decade.

    by Geek in the City

    Look, I can try and be this film purist...I can try and act like some cock-smoking Magnolia Fan. But fuck me raw, I laughed my fat Geek ass off when I saw Clerks on a grainy friggen VHS them years ago... Just as I have done with every friggen Kevin Smith flick since then. (Yes, even Jersey Girl... a movie that touched me in ways only another fellow Spider-man quoting fat man can touch me). I may sit in the basement with my fellow forum trollers and bitch about Kevin "loosing his touch"... But, I&#39;m full of shit. I&#39;ll be there. OPENING NIGHT. Tub &#39;o popcorn and 2 liter in my lap. All you Smith hating ass-hats will as well. Just admit it. (Kevin, was that good? I get that special "discount" we talked about now, right?) Such a whore...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Welease Wodderick!

    by speed

    Best religious comedy has got to be Meaning of Life. er, obviously after Dogma that is!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    No more fuckin&#39; Dogma vs. Meaning of Life arguments!

    by Razorback

    We settled it, in this thread, for the sake of eternity. No more discussion may ever take place. Dogma won. It has been settled! move on! Dogma = Greatest Religious Comedy of All Time. Someone call AFI.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    No more fuckin&#39; Dogma vs. Meaning of Life arguments!

    by Razorback

    We settled it, in this thread, for the sake of eternity. No more discussion may ever take place. Dogma won. It has been settled! move on! Dogma = Greatest Religious Comedy of All Time. Someone call AFI.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Jack Kirby over Stan Lee

    by DukeOfSpiders

    Kevin, dude, Stan would write "And then throw something cosmic in there and I&#39;ll figure out what to write later," and Jack would turn that into fifteen pages of a silver guy on a surf board warning of a giant Aztec guy showing up, and then Stan would have to make sense of it. It was all Kirby and Stan desperately trying to make sense of it. You need to get Joe Quesada&#39;s dick out of your ass and stop listening to his bullshit, man.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    What the hell just happened?

    by PsychoCrash


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    sorry I meant LIFE OF BRIAN!

    by speed

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Kirby Over Lee Any Day Of The Week

    by DukeOfSpiders

    Kevin, dude, Stan would write "And then throw something cosmic in there and I&#39;ll figure out what to write later," and Jack would turn that into fifteen pages of a silver guy on a surf board warning of a giant Aztec guy showing up, and then Stan would have to make sense of it. It was all Kirby and Stan desperately trying to make sense of it. You need to get Joe Quesada&#39;s dick out of your ass and stop listening to his bullshit, man.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Oh man, did this crash or was it deleted?

    by TonyWilson

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:22 p.m. CST

    i miss docfalken.

    by bluebottle

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:22 p.m. CST

    It Musta Got Overloaded...

    by ZombieSolutions

    cause now it&#39;s back

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by Razorback

    Come on, people. People! No more. Dogma is the clear winner and everyone knows it. Anyway, back to crashing the sitejosswhedonisanidiot.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Double Posting!

    by DukeOfSpiders

    Love those server errors.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:23 p.m. CST

    My guess is an overload

    by seppukudkurosawa

    The word of mouth spreads fast...and we all just entered the phantom zone. Fasten your seatbelts, etc. etc.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:24 p.m. CST

    You only miss him Bluebottle because

    by John-Locke

    He&#39;s hung like a donkey. You know this to be true.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Mallrats is very underrated

    by santos kauffman

    And the totality of Kevin Smith&#39;s work since Chasing Amy is very bad.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:25 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m coming out of retirement.

    by The-Warrior

    Hi kids. I&#39;m The Warrior. I used to post a lot. My asinine claims to fame are I used to call Knowles a Bloated Sell-Out and I&#39;m pretty sure I was the first person in history to use the word "clownshoe" as an insult. Impressive, no? No. I was also banned a heroic fourteen times. I know, pretty cool. I eventually hung it up because I couldn&#39;t muster up the level of either anger or geekiness to pound out the insults from my parents basement. But I&#39;ve returned. Here&#39;s a list of goofy swipes at Kevin Smith: 1. Clerks was Chatty Cathy and shot for sixteen dollars. But that bearded, portly bowling-shirted, douche-nozzle Smith turned his made-on-a-shoestring-budget dreams and turned them into a career making movies. And I&#39;m living with my parents like a 12 year old boy. So he wins. 2. Affleck. I&#39;m ninety percent sure I punched Affleck in his enormous, Frankenstein forehead in high school. But, again, he&#39;s a fruity millionaire and I&#39;m collecting cans for beer money. Then again, he couldn&#39;t act warm if you set his sideburns on fire. I point you to Reindeer Games: his shivering cold scene -- he appeared to be having some kind of epileptic fit. It was the Spartacus of douche chills. I&#39;m calling this one a push. 3. Dogma was high fructose dog-shit syrup. 4. Mall Rats was kind of funny although I wanted to smother that pretty boy slap-nut with a bean bag chair. I also want to bang that chick with the glasses until her head falls off. Her name escapes me. 5. I think that God movie with the shit monster and the angels and whatnot was horrific. I&#39;ve seen second grade plays about the importance of good dental hygiene staged better. 6. I kind of enjoyed the Superman script. It was sort of like Coyote Ugly, if all the beer-slinging trollops could fly. 7. Chasing Amy was stiff but different and Jersey Girl wasn&#39;t too terrible. Jersey Girl was a competent family comedy/drama/Fresh Prince/musical, although I&#39;d still like to square my busines with shovel-headed toolbox, Affleck. To sum up, Smith isn&#39;t awful and he isn&#39;t the Chunky Christ. He&#39;s a funny guy with balls enough to try to make movies professionally. And I&#39;d like to fist-fight Benny Affleck, anytime, anywhere. Thank you. See you in Hell.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I will stealth rape Kevin Smith one day.

    by PsychoCrash

    For I am like ninja.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:26 p.m. CST

    JL - stop rubbing it in my face.

    by bluebottle

    haha, remember, that&#39;s what we used to say when Docfalken would rub his donkey sized member in our faces!?!?!? HAHAHA! oh... good times.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST

    OH YEAH!

    by blackthought

    If you MR. Smith are so great...then what is your justification for the Star Wars prequel? When did you have balls to say, um, you know F*CK what came before and let me introduce to the public the wonders that is JAR JAR BINKS! what sick depraved mind you have...Lee and Kirby never would of created such an abomination...but you had the gawl too! I deserve at least 10 reasons from you why you thought creating the prequels was a good idea? And don&#39;t give me any BS that that it wasn&#39;t you and that it was some guy named George Lucas...I full well know that you that you are pulling the strings behind that puppet which is George. I&#39;m fully aware that you had ILM create such a real-life entity for a vast majority of fanboys to worship...hell you even went so far as to create a family for have no morals do you! But I also know that this "George Lucas" is not a sentient being and that you still control every action...probably why the man hasn&#39;t shaved since he was a non-rendered finished CG project! So please, explain yourself...and on another note...who fights it out to be Ben and Jen&#39;s daughter&#39;s or the great Matt Damon? Will you two fight it out? Between Matt and Ben, who has better teeth? one is which again?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST

    I think Kev is gone

    by Fernwick_

    Darn it I was hoping he would post some response to what I asked. DARN DARN DARN! its been like 15 mins since he posted....DOH!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:28 p.m. CST


    by bluebottle

    Let the man POO. Seriously.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:28 p.m. CST

    The man that is Kevin Smith

    by bjk4ku

    For those people who are speaking badly about Kevin&#39;s new movie, take a look back. This man was a normal guy who loved movies, pop culture, and comics. He followed what he wanted to do in a certain way, and by his skill and a little bit of hard work or a lot of hard work he made a movie with friends. Now being a graduate of film, I would like nothing better than to do what he did. He made a great momvie in his own image and got into the business. Now while my style is different from his, he has found his calling, and I think he succeedes at what he does. So what if he wants to make a follow-up to a great movie that he made. Just as long as there is no Steven Segal in there, I&#39;ll be happy. And you know what, it takes a great man to respond to you people and your opinions. The man, the myth, the stink palm, Kevin Smith will hpoefully makes us all laugh. P.S. Jersey Girl wasn&#39;t bad.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Adieu! Adieu! To you, and you, and you!

    by KevinSmith

    <<RE: Death of a Movie Geek.... by The Tao of Joe I guess that means I am out - done with these talkbacks. I got a lot on my mind. Fuck. I am leaving now. Venturing down that empty road that could lead to success or failure. I love you guys. You provided me with numerous hours of pleasure and great discussion on something I may truely love. I say &#39;may&#39; because I have yet to find out if its genuine, or some form of mental masturbation. Good bye all. -Joe Scott (>> If I&#39;ve accomplished nothing else in life this weekend, THIS is the best thing that came out of that half hour of responding to the TalkBacks. Here... HERE is a motherfucker who just woke up and took that first important step on the road between Doing Nothing and Doing Something. Whatever you achieve, bro, I will happily (and proudly) support. Go get &#39;em, Tiger. The World Is Yours. And with that, I&#39;ve gotta book. It&#39;s 10:20 on Sunday morning, the wife (sorry - my Big-Eared-Wife) and kid are both awake, and life beckons. I apologize to all the posters whose thoughts (good or bad) I didn&#39;t get to; I assure you, it&#39;s not out of a lack or respect, but solely because if I spend some quality time with my family, when the kid goes to bed tonight, my wife will give up the pooter. And I like sex - especially when it&#39;s with someone else. Remember: I can always be found over at And remember also: JBenalto has never had sex yet. So go easy on him here; his comments are born out of a severe seminal backup, and a lack of understanding on how to relate to women). Much love, The Clerks Guy

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by John-Locke

    The worst part was always the smell,

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST

    haaha, JL

    by bluebottle

    the worst of a long list.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST


    by TonyWilson

    Bluebottle. Seriously.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    thanks, Kevin!

    by zombieslayer

    Enjoy your lovely parting gifts... most of which it sounds like you&#39;ve had to swallow.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Oh, Snap!

    by TonyWilson

    someone post the picture.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:33 p.m. CST

    OK LuckyLindy - Get back to work on that Paper! Kev is gone - y


    Alright folks, I&#39;m taking a nap now - tonight I have to shoot shotguns with Richard Kelly! The world rules!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Yeah the taste wasn&#39;t very nice either.

    by John-Locke

    And he could have shaved his balls like KCBC

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Where&#39;s my signed mini-poster? Huh?

    by Jack Gladney

    As long as Mr. Smith&#39;s posting today, I thought I&#39;d ask him something that&#39;s been in the back of my mind since September of 2001: where is that personalized mini-poster for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back that you promised me for sending in my ticket stubs? I totally understand if you ended up not being able to deliver on that promise; I promise shit I can&#39;t deliver all the time. It&#39;s just that some closure would be nice. Also, has anyone else been having problems with the Mallrats X dvd having a lot of digital artifacts and not playing well? The reunion Q&A has been playing really poorly for me, and it&#39;s been making me sad because I have to know if Jeremy London acts crazy for the whole thing or not.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Dogma = Greatest Religious Comedy of All Time

    by vicious_bastard

    The BIBLE is the greatest religious comedy of all time. Heston&#39;s barnet in The Ten Commandments comes a close second.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Props for Dogma

    by Neosamurai85


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Kevin, You may want to know, you&#39;re big in Hungary.

    by Harold The Great

    If your chased out of the country with torches and pitchforks by the united forces of talkbackers and christians (an unlikely team up I know, but you know, the enemy of my enemy...) you can still live like a god here. No kidding, people know Spielberg, Scorcese, Lucas and Kevin Smith here. Fucked up.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Getting a little "back-end" of the wife, eh?

    by Ford Prefect042

    Thanks for a great Sunday morning, Kev. Now go make this movie and MAKE ME LAUGH, MOTHERFUCKER! Then, go watch Sin City again, and then go make the best comic book movie ever. It is your destiny.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    So long and thanks for all the licks...

    by Neosamurai85

    Anyone got a light? Very cool of you to take your time with us. Good luck on the new film. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Nice sharing this experience with you guys

    by seppukudkurosawa

    but it&#39;s also my nap-time too.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Kevin, you and Neil LaBute (sp?) need to hire cinematographers

    by Chief Redcock

    and i don&#39;t care what you have to say about it

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Let&#39;s get back to talking about Angelina Jolie and Jessica A

    by Forestal

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Holy Sh*t! I Just Saw A Pic Of Kevin Smith&#39;s Wife!

    by ZombieSolutions

    she&#39;s fuckin&#39; smokin&#39; hot!!! goddamn. good for him. don&#39;t envy him though; that&#39;s a serious amount of pressure to maintain success. cause when the money goes, so goeth the hot chick. good luck, man...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith said he wanted to have my baby...

    by El Scorcho

    I was excited and frightened all at the same time, until he retracted the statement for my hating on Dogma... While I had one of the greatest writers of all time responding to me, he said some really scary stuff. I need a shower now...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Why does Kevin Smith have to bash movie fans?

    by Neo Zeed

    I find it that upsetting that Kevin gets upset over talkbackers&#39; comments. He has achieved a lot in his career, but why does he feel the need to take movie fan&#39;s right to bitch away. Not everyone in these talkbacks is going to be a filmmaker. If they&#39;d rather bitch about movies instead for whatever reason, why not let them, Kev. What&#39;s the beef? There still has to be pure fans to buy shit or else you make no money. Not film students, exclusively. Or should we be what the comic book industry has become. A bunch of fans who want the bar set low cause they think they&#39;re gonna create. Guess what? Those dudes never buy shit! Kevin can downplay as much as he wants but even in the last year he&#39;s done shit that most of us can only dream of. Has he worked hard? Shit yeah! But realize Kev, you are not outclassed by 100% of hollywood directors in terms of quality (have you heard of Tim Story?). Like it or not, you&#39;ve crossed over dude. This is Hollywood director acting as the thought police. What happened to filmakers making a movie to blow us away! To set the bar so high that no fan thinks they&#39;re gonna create? To be completely owned! Now every director wants to play spin control. No one wants to learn about new filmaking techniques, new prmeises, or give us one visual that we can remember (I think the last couple were fight club and Matrix). It&#39;s turned into write a not bad script with mediocre premise, give it to some indie dude, slap a on a superhero or geeky references on it, contact Harry (very important!), set wash cycle to spin and blammo you&#39;re done!! Directors are tooo comfortable these days. Make a movie that owns and fake creators will shut up. Where&#39;s the confidence?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Hey Kevin

    by peytonallen

    Ever played "Truth Or Dare?" with Jon Peters? And a follow-up, have you ever considered writing a part specifically for Steve Perry of Journey? There&#39;s a dick you could suck, I&#39;m sure. Short or feature length you tell us. Seriously folks, I&#39;m glad you&#39;re making Clerks 2. One of the few things I enjoyed about Jay and Silent Bob, were (or was?) the cameo of Randall and the other guy. Sorry, I could look it up on imdb right now, but DANTE! ha just came to me. I liked the cameos. Let&#39;s see what they&#39;re doing now. That they&#39;re in the same crab job, sadly hits home. Also, make Green Hornet with Tony Jaa, and Owen Wilson. Keep up the good work, and please note it&#39;s always been my dream to have a C-grade celebrity respond to me. I once wrote Jason Batemen (mid-90s) and he no sold me. Prick.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Mr. Smith goes to Geektown

    by BigDogg

    I find it hilarious how Kevin decided to drop by and call e-geeks who feel the need to rip everything apart on their shit. The only way it could have been better is if he did like the ending of "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" and whooping some ass. I love all of Kevin&#39;s movies (including "Jersey Girl" up until Will Smith showed up for a cameo. I mean what the hell&#39;s next dude, Tom Cruise showing up in Clerks2 to go batshit insane on somebody before blowing a dead guy in the bathroom?) and his comics whenever they happen to come out. As much as I&#39;m looking forward to Clerks2, I am looking forward to "An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder" so much more because of all the great stories he has and all the dumbass questions he puts up with. I&#39;d love to be at one of those Q&As someday and so do most of you haters too. Oh yeah, one last thing: NO MORE DOUBLE SIDED DVDS!!!!!!!! One side always gets all dirty and fucked up and that made me decide to skip "Mallrats X" and stick with the copy I already had of the old version. If you desire my money sir, please encourage the studio to put down the extra $.50 for a second disc

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1 p.m. CST

    Oh, great...

    by DefyThis

    For the next twenty &#39;effing years I&#39;m going to have to hear stories along the lines of "remember the day Kevin Smith posted at AICN??? Wasn&#39;t that sweet, dude??? I still have the screencap!!!" A little fact about the internet: negative people tend much be far more vocal than supporters of any given work. Ignore them. The internet is merely a substitute as they have no one real to gripe to (for if anyone actually made a rant in real life like the ones we see on here, a thunderous bitchslap would result in mere seconds. Just imagine a browncoat/anti-Joss Whendon argument errupting in the middle of some downtown cafe... you&#39;d either see someone die of laughter, or have two badly beaten geeks).

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Missed him? Damn.

    by ZeroCorpse

    if you wander back, Kevin, I just want you to know I dig what you do. It ain&#39;t "Citizen Kane" but then it ain&#39;t "Yor: Hunter From the Future" either. Your work speaks for itself, and it makes my spouse and I laugh. It doesn&#39;t have to be anything more than what it is in order to have a place on my DVD shelf. That being said, I haven&#39;t seen Jersey Girl yet (I was kind of Ben Afflecked out when it hit) but I think Dogma and Chasing Amy were wonderful. My suggestion: A movie in which Jay- solo- goes looking for his kidnapped hetero life-partner Bob, with Brody in tow. Call it "J&SB III: The Search for Bob" or something like that. I&#39;d pay to see it.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:05 p.m. CST


    by sirfunksalot

    Why not punch individual rats in the rat pit? It&#39;s made for some quality entertainment. Thanks Mr. Smith.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:07 p.m. CST

    He Seems Cool To Me

    by ZombieSolutions

    maybe a bit insecure, but ultimately a nice guy. i think it&#39;s cool that he actually gives a shit what us losers think. he&#39;s just a geek who got lucky, and he knows that. good for him, right? that&#39;s what y&#39;all should be saying...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:09 p.m. CST

    "No one wants to learn about new filmaking techniques, new prmei

    by Neosamurai85

    I don&#39;t know that I agree on that. It seems tool lazy a statment, like saying the last good horror movie was Halloween... but I will say this. Though even the author says the film one upped the book Fight Club, Matrix basically just added tight leather and guns to Philosphy 101. Even our breakthroughs are theft, then again, isn&#39;t that what most art is? And no, that was not a pessimistic or excusive question. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Jay solo...

    by ZeroCorpse

    Clarification: Brody is tailing Jay, not actually travelling with him. I want to see Jay try to get by without Bob nudging him in the right direction. That would be interesting in a twisted kind of way.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:14 p.m. CST

    poor richard kelly

    by DyceyDarko

    richard kelly= genius. no question of that, right? but the guy aint a public speaker and when kevin smith had him up on stage at comicon the poor guy looked so shy and flushed he could faint in front of those thousands of people. i was expected smith to, you know, interview the guy or something. just an idea.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Thanks for stopping bye Kev

    by Schmiggy JK

    You stay classy AintItCool!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:21 p.m. CST

    extended version of jersey girl

    by troysbucket

    Mr. Smith, I just wanted to thank you for putting out some of my favorite movies of the past 12 years. Jersey Girl is by far your finest work to date. I hope that someday I will get to see the original cut.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:33 p.m. CST

    I don&#39;t even want to post here....but I feel like I have to

    by IndustryKiller

    I guess I&#39;m a conformist sheep. never been a big fan of Kevin Smith (Dogmas excluded). I&#39;m not insulted by his work or anything, just uninterested enough that I don&#39;t really care. But this looked like such a fun party that I just had to crash it. I guess if I had anything to say it would be that I worry with a bigger production budget that it will just magnify the fact that Dante (unsure of his real name) is just not a very good actor. Anyway cheers all.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by howudoinchewbaca

    I LOVE degrassi! I was the only one that clapped at comicon when Mr. Smith announced his involvement with this show, which increased my like for the man considerably.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Kev, I for one enjoyed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back...

    by bunny_lebowski

    There is no creature worthier of scorn than a talkbacker. Sometimes, I just want to crush their hentai DVDs beneath my stilletos and slap them with their various Transformers until they cry like the man-babies they are... So, I was feeling Jay and Bob&#39;s plight. :D

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Ha, Kevin, calling you a genius might be an overstatement, but t

    by Craiggers

    It reminds me of my favorite part of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, when they travel the country hunting down all the posters that talked shit about them on the internet and it usually turned out to be 13 year old kids. Since this&#39;ll probably be my only opportunity to speak to you directly, I&#39;ll just get the fanboy service out of the way - i love your movies. You may not be the best director, but you are definately a really good writer. You have proven this much with your outstanding run in Green Arrow. You have the ability to infuse a lot of humanity to your characters; that&#39;s why people will flock to see Clerks 2 nomatter what these talkback bitches say. Someone criticized you about how your characters are 90% the actors, as if there was something wrong with that; it&#39;s much better than them being 10% of the actors, such as in the Star Wars prequels. Yes, the third one was good, but it still had horrible horrible dialogue. Too bad you couldn&#39;t have doctored up the script a bit, dialogue is definately your strong point. Ok, I&#39;ve serviced you enough and my mouth is dry. Good luck with Clerks 2, I really look forward to seeing it. And keep ripping on the talkback bitches, this is almost better than sex (something these people probably know nothing about; ooh, snap!)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Damn I hope George Lucas will never post in any messageboards.

    by Lord_Soth

    Some people should stay in their god status.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:17 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m kinda pissed off.

    by Hamish

    I&#39;m a KS fan from way back, but now anything I say about him that&#39;s good will look like I&#39;m just putting tongue to ring. Gutted. And Kevin, why not get a co-director for action scenes?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:23 p.m. CST

    OT: Kevin, we&#39;re twins...

    by Buddapest

    My kids walked in on me showing my wife some clips of you in an interview, and my 3-year-old said, "Daddy, why you talk different?" - Seriously, everyone thinks we&#39;re brothers...see for yourself:

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Sometimes I wish I spent more time on this site so I could know

    by rev_skarekroe

    Other times, like now, I&#39;m glad I don&#39;t.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:28 p.m. CST


    by AppleBalls

    Talkbackers! We are not talking to Kevin and Harry! This isn&#39;t even! We are actually on a government sanctioned site that supports films riddled with subliminal messaging that tell us to eat McDonalds until our intestines explode inside of us, ripping out our asses and strangling us with some common sense. FEAR THE REAPER! THE END IS NIGH!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:34 p.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    You&#39;re not the only Kev-alike out there. For some reason, many of us seem to have been stamped from the same mold. When I was at a press screening for RETURN OF THE KING with Mr. Beaks, this kid walked up to us before the film, practically shaking because he was so nervous. I was surprised to be recognized until he began talking. "Ummm... I just wanted to come say... you changed my life... and I think CLERKS is one of the greatest movies ever made..." *sigh*

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:36 p.m. CST

    The Best session in AICN for a LOOOONG time....very nearly ruine

    by The True Priapic

    ..and &#39;yes&#39; I used to post there.Back when there were Kings.I admit to being a serf but better a serf than a fucking bore.Anyway,Smith is no doubt getting on with his life,as he has one but personally I&#39;d love to see him do his &#39;stand-up&#39; open mic stuff here in Blighty.It would sell out,the bugger got an award from Empire readers(admittedly a magazine with NO opinion othere than Spielberg and Lucas&#39; cock tastes GOOOOD!OH!WHAT!You DISAGREE,take a fucking look with a cynical eye...has it EVER fucking rercently slated a film.Even Revolver got 2 stars????!?)Oh, most true Smith fans,I&#39;ll see Clerks 2 as I&#39;m a fan.Fuck it.They&#39;re some of the only films free of criticism as I genuinely think they&#39;re made to be enjoyed.They are.By me,anyway.Who cares.......

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:41 p.m. CST

    clerkin&#39; is a funny word


    the new tittle is not as funny. put the word clerkin in the movie. whatever, screw the first clerks movie. it tryed to hard to be liked with it&#39;s "this is your life dante you want to be a loser" trying to relate to everyone crap. I&#39;m gonna watch cannibal the musical again instead. The clerks cartoon was ok. vrooom!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:49 p.m. CST


    by onefalsemove

    I guess Kevin doesn&#39;t like me too much. I&#39;m crusshed.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST


    by Buddapest

    Cool! It&#39;s a trip when my kids see Kevin on TV, &#39;cuz they swear it&#39;s me; Kevin and I have a lot of similar interests, but the most ironic thing of all is the fact that I&#39;m a minister! I was working as a Camp Counselor the summer DOGMA came out, and some of the other counsellors were Kevin Smith fans, and they kept giggling whenever I walked by. Finally, I asked them what all the laughs were about, and they said at the same time, "We think you look just like Kevin Smith!" Moriarty! We&#39;re twins, too! Who knew? Brothers from other mothers!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Ya gotta grow some hard bark on ya to work in the entertainment

    by Darth TJ Mackey

    As the old timers say. It&#39;s fascinating to me in any case...I&#39;ve disliked stuff before, but never to the point of being personally offended by its suckage, or whatever. People can say what they want, but I guess the trick is finding enough folks who dig what you do enough to support it and spend money on it. Having the kind of success KS has had surely makes it a little easier to deal with the negativity, I&#39;d think. I got a kick out of his responses, anyway. (Still Clerkin&#39; is good for the title, I agree; or how about "Hardly Clerkin&#39;", as a tribute to the greatness of Jerry Lewis?)

  • And that just goes to show, kind sir, that you have not watched the works of the doctor himself Uwe Boll.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Is it me or is Hillary Duff so HOT right now?God,she needs to st

    by The True Priapic

    I love you Kirsten.I....just...can&#39;t keep up...with all the pot...I ...I...oh,fuck it wheres The Dushku?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:26 p.m. CST


    by DrLektor

    It just pleases me that Kevin can just waste his time, not only reading some of these fucktard posts but actually replying! Credit for having no life / boosting the internet geek image some. If you want an honest opinion, well I like his movies. My friends and I had a great "what do you think happened to Jason Mewes" convo a while back after he supposedly went drug crazed awol, I don&#39;t know how much of that was true but it still gives me a chuckle. Calling Kevin Smith lazy is utter bullshit too, how many movies did he make in just over 10 years dude? put that together with the comic books and appearences, a family man, a big eater, that&#39;s far from lazy, that&#39;s mucho fucking talented, I can barely find the time to brush my teeth and put my socks on every day let alone do the work he does. Bow down poopshooters

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Me loves the typos

    by onefalsemove

    OK Kevin come and get me here in Calgary, I welcome it, seriously. I can&#39;t believe you get all riled up over this shit. Didn&#39;t you make a movie making fun of exactly this situation? I&#39;ll meet you wherever you want smart guy. And at least I didn&#39;t say anything about Jennifer, calm down man.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Quake 3 - Cool News style

    by kentrel

    I like Kevin Smith, but the other day I wondered if it was really wise of him to respond to all these bitching losers. However, I&#39;ve just finished playing Quake online, and now I realise how refreshing it is blastin&#39; away losers on the internet. Frag away Kevin, Frag Away.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Kev&#39;s Wife Bashing.

    by Darth Philbin

    Dude she&#39;s hot and the fact that she fucks fat guys makes her hotter...not that I think fucking fat guys is hot or anything. It&#39;s always the fucking fat guys that don&#39;t get fucked that get all jealous talking their fucking shit...hell I have had numerous F-F-F-F-M Ass-To-Mouth dreams about poking all those bitches in that van and for some reason it&#39;s always Dushku eating Mrs. Smith&#39;s corn off my cob.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:50 p.m. CST


    by onefalsemove

    Kevin I also said I was, WAS, a huge fan of yours until the Vancouver show. Dude I willingly paid $100 to see you. WILLINGLY! The disappointment didn&#39;t come until after I left the show. I&#39;ve seen all your movies in the theatre, own all your DVD&#39;s, shirts and comic books. It was only after the show that I felt cheated and ripped off. Man you were late coming on to the stage, you were rude, admit it. I definetly get the feeling that you look down on your hardcore fans, you were verbally insulting, rude and disgusting through your actions. You left your own show half way through to go to the Alanis show and left us with the very uninteresting Mewes. You did not act very professionally and I was extremely disappointed by that. You sir, are in a position of some regard and esteem to a small portion of this society. Act like you deserve our admiration and respect. I would have given it willingly, but no longer.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:50 p.m. CST

    So, Kevin Smith is on AICN, eh?

    by J-Dizzle

    I guess this means his wife has stopped putting out then. I feel your pain, brother.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith!?!

    by Flummage

    ...*..runs up completely out of breath, decked out in his "Kevin Smith @ AICN -I Was There- T-Shirt...* ...phew! Took me ... *...hyper ventilating..*... ...took me 3 fucking hours waiting in line... to... to get this T Shirt printed off!!! ... Fuck little timmy and his 10 birthday party celebrations.... ... anyway!!! I made it!! Wahoo!.... so... *...looking around expectantly...* ...when does he show up??

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Aw...fucking we go....

    by The True Priapic

    ....another ones eloped.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:13 p.m. CST

    True Priapic

    by Flummage

    I love you. Have I ever told you that before? Maybe I haven&#39;t. Oh I don&#39;t know, it could be this mixed up world crazy world we live in - it&#39;s can be so hard just to drop our gaurds, and let our true emotions fly like the beautiful doves they are. Or it could we just don&#39;t talk like we used to. That we have lost a little of the spark that made us so special you know? ...*all of a sudden Stevie Wonder&#39;s "I Just Called To Say I Love You" begins to play...... he starts clicking fingers and doing sexy strip tease, never taking his eyes away from Priapic&#39;s...* ...what I&#39;m about to do next honeybunch, is because I love... just remember that...

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:15 p.m. CST

    An Evening with 2

    by ShadowSorkin07

    when does an evening with Kevin smith 2 come out? Is that evening happening still?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Mr. Smith, THIS IS AN HONOR! I`d suck your great-movie-making co

    by Man of Stool

    nuff said.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:37 p.m. CST

    What the fuck, I`m such a tool, but here goes: Kevin Smith: I`m

    by Man of Stool

    Talkbackers will mock me, but I hope this is a chance. SNOOGANS!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:38 p.m. CST

    No shit, when is evening harder comming out

    by Schmiggy JK

    Kevs at his best on the fly, with his wit. Not that his movies arent good, but Evening with kevin smith is one of my favorite dvds. Lets get that damn sequel out, it was supposed to be out around the same time as mallrats x... well here sits mallrats x, and no evening harder. Stop posting here, and get editing!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:41 p.m. CST

    What the fuck, I`m such a tool, but here goes: Kevin Smith, I`m

    by Man of Stool

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:41 p.m. CST


    by Nairb The Movie

    This is me mocking all you talkbackers who so amazingly pointed out you will be mocked for whatever you decided to do. Consider yourselves mocked.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Get off the internet Kevin and GO make your movie!!!

    by nomad202

    Its gonna rock! Although...I should take a piece of my own advice. This movie was and still is 3 years in the making:

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Kevin, seriously-- why care?

    by PreciousRoy

    Talkback is a kind of vain thing of people who wish they were heard by the studios. I mean, even those who aren&#39;t abusive and are coherent, are just kind of mentally masturbating about how they&#39;d do things differently... or maybe just bowing down in amused fandom, depending. The guy who wrote and directed the dashboard scene in Chasing Amy really shouldn&#39;t be wasting his time with worrying about PoopShoot-esque commentary-- although it&#39;s very fun, as a fan, to think you&#39;re readin&#39; this... don&#39;t let it mess with you.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:55 p.m. CST

    For the record...

    by SmarkJobber

    ...I neither suck or blow. The cocks I treat are given palm-and-finger privileges only. Smith knows this, I don&#39;t know why he&#39;d report otherwise. As for the Jolie/Alba sex scene -- I have reconsidered. Them just talking about fucking would still be hot -- unless the scene required Frida-esque brow-staches, or a trailer trash Method makeover ala&#39; "Monster." / / / End note: This Smith cameo on AICN was pretty cool, even if my needling was possibly misinterpreted as actual ragging. I wonder what would happen if Knowles got Eli Roth to register on AICN in the same manner (I think it would result in pure, hate-filled hilarity, as only TBers could provide). *sigh* AICN, where hatred comes to bloom.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 4:56 p.m. CST


    by PreciousRoy

    And hurry up and get Wagner to sell you the rights to Mage: Discovered, Defined, and Denied. But no Grendel for you, please!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Why do so many Talkbackers hate fanboys made good?

    by TonyWilson

    Tarantino, Rodriguez, Whedon, Smith, Roth. All major geeky fanboys and there&#39;s a sizable majority on this site who not only hate the work but the artist as well. It seems like jealousy, certainly that would explain the incredible vitriol of some of them.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Why do so many Talkbackers hate fanboys made good?

    by TonyWilson

    Tarantino, Rodriguez, Whedon, Smith, Roth. All major geeky fanboys and there&#39;s a sizable majority on this site who not only hate the work but the artist as well. It seems like jealousy, certainly that would explain the incredible vitriol of some of them.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:02 p.m. CST

    I think this talkback is gonna beat the aquafag one

    by cornstalkwalker

    With Kevin Smith gracing our presence, it&#39;s inevitable.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:09 p.m. CST

    i have a friend at camp named kevin smith....

    by jig98

    his little brother was the voice of jock in "stu-dent: the animated series" and the narrator in "into the woods" and in 2006 don troyer in "intimidation game"

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Re: the Peter Jackson comment in your video diary

    by Unbirthday

    Kevin, Find out how PJ lost all that weight and you, me, and Knowles are fucking doing it. That&#39;s one motivating video journal he&#39;s got.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:31 p.m. CST

    good story mori

    by blackthought

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:31 p.m. CST

    good story mori

    by blackthought

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Achtung: From GERMANY with love! Schnell! Read!

    by Kaiser13

    Hey folks! Well, before I will post something I will introduce myself: I am 23 year old Kraut who loves movies and gummyworms...fucking great stuff these gummyworms...tasty...but...aww...enough about me...oh, and sorry for my bad English..I have to improve it... First of all I have to say that you Americans are really funny and I guess most of you are Americans. Dont get me wrong! I am called Fox news it? "Anti-American", eh? Yeah..well..I am not one of those fools. I love American movies, food...almost everything American (except of these weird gollums...called...uumm...Republicans I guess...) Hollywood! Rock

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Good on ya, Kevin...

    by Otter

    Nice to see you have the balls to stand up for your successes and your "supposed" failures. Thanks for giving some of these trolls the ass reaming they&#39;ve deserved since the day Daddy touched them in the bad place.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:03 p.m. CST


    by RickSlamu2

    AND YOU HAVE KEVIN SMITH POSTING HERE HARRY?!?!?!!? This proves 1 thing to me. Get those damm surveillance cameras out of my House KNOWLES! You watching me used to be just funny/pathetic BUT KNOW YOU JUST TIRING TO PISS ME OFF!!! And know knowing that Kevin is probably long gone, I have one question for ya&#39;oh-not-so-silent-one! If a major studio popped a script in your lap, for a comic adaptation on less, would you take it or just be content to do more indi/smallscale stuff? Now I ain&#39;t sayen&#39; that you haven&#39;t made great stuff doing that. But it just seems to me, right or wrong, that you have sort of a comfort level of where your at in your life right now. Would you ever take a chance to but out of that level? Lets see, that&#39;s about it. Any thing else??? OH YEHA. Almost forgot, BOYCOTT X-MEN FOR 3 MONTHS!!! (Long story short Kevin, IF I get enough people to boycott X-Men for Dec, Jan, and Feb, than maybe marvel will write better X-Books. Been at it for a couple of months now)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:04 p.m. CST


    by DyceyDarko


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith: going back to the well...

    by Rein

    There are a few reasons why I have ZERO interest in this new sequel and why I think there is so much backlash against the idea of a sequel. For one, the title..."Passion of the Clerks" is a day late and a dollar short and making fun of MelGibsons film stopped being funny 2 weeks after that movie came out when everyone and their mother was poking fun at it. Here&#39;s a clue...when the porn industry starts making fun a movie&#39;s title, the moment has truly passed. "Passion of the Clerks" as a title isnt funny, witty,clever, ironic or anything else like that. Its just tired and sad and makes your fans think you&#39;ve gotten lazy. And this title just set off a whole lot of redflags in my mind. Secondly, doing this movie so soon after the total failure of "Jersey Girl" worries a lot of fans and makes me think that you&#39;re simply going back to a safe place for you creatively instead of spreading your wings and doing other stuff. You had a chance to do the GreenHornet movie and that had a lot of fans excited, because if anyone could do that movie justice it would have to be a geek on your level who has a major passion for the source material. But then you opted out of that and are now doing a sequel to your first movie...a movie that basically no one ever felt needed a sequel. It just seems like a pathetic attempt to regain past glory. You&#39;ve got a shotload of talent man...use it for something NEW and DIFFERENT and EXCITING!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST

    As much as I like Kevin...

    by YHF4

    this is the "scheduling conflict" that kept you from Wizard World Boston? If you&#39;ve got time to lean, you&#39;ve got time to clean (if you follow my drift). It would have spiced up the show quite a bit. As it stands I still put $20 bucks in his pocket by buying the autographed KS inaction figure from Graffiti Designs (and a nice Gotham PD t-shirt also). Try as I might, I can&#39;t stay mad.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Kevin is in the air.

    by seppukudkurosawa

    It seems to me, reading these post-Kevin posts, that you&#39;re all so excited clambering over one another to communicate to "the guy that went over the top", that you&#39;ve all sacrificed the ability to spell and compile sentences in the process. Take that breath. OK, now splooge into the guys mouth all you want. If Kevin Smith gets you this excited, I wonder what you&#39;d do if Spielberg, Peter Jackson and the Weinstein Brothers were in the house. You&#39;d be typing like this, "Speilfbergf pleash lishen toa me!!! and you citaplist bastard wienersteins are gwreat! Gondalf ROOOOCKS!!!" I&#39;m doubtful the guy&#39;s gonna come back to this post, he&#39;s a family man after all...but if he does, do the guy a favour and de-fragmentize those sentences/spell don&#39;t spooge. Plus, I don&#39;t think it was a publicity stunt at all- and thanks for joining us...FRIEND!!! Freaks comes to mind, "ONE OF US!! ONE OF US!!!"

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Eliza Dushku and Unrealistic dialog

    by Zombieflicker

    Mr. Smith, If you put Eliza Dushku in your next movie wearing a skin tight outfit again, I&#39;ll watch your movie no matter how much unrealistic and complicated conversations are in your movie. Seriously... Stupid fuckers in real life never have as much interesting or witty shit to say as they do in your films. That&#39;s why the stupid population rags on your films. Unfortunately, there also the ones to who pay to see movies, so you&#39;ll always lose. To bad. Go make an action flick and win for once.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:27 p.m. CST


    by shutterghost

    Let the new film be your self-vindication and stop giving a shit what other people say. It&#39;s just folks with opinions, just like you. Fuck them and fuck me for that matter and shoot a film that&#39;ll make you happy

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:34 p.m. CST


    by DrLektor

    ...geek moment here but Blue Harvest was never the "working title" for Return of the Jedi, it was just a cover to keep the media off the scent. You&#39;re maybe thinking of Revenge of the Jedi, it was called that up until quite late. Props for anyone having action figure cards with that title on. Seriously there must be a thousand and one SW geeks here.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Hey Kevin I have a question for you

    by trevorfactor

    what? what do you mean he&#39;s left? where the hell did he go? is he coming back? ... but ... I&#39;m just kidding! I think it&#39;s cool he&#39;s here but what the hell is up with all these stupid f&#39;ing questions. My god people, treat him like you would anyone else. Judge him based solely on his posts, never forgive him if he writes something you don&#39;t agree with, and always always try to out smart him, just like you would every one else. Seriously this is pretty f&#39;ing sad, next thing you know people will be trying to get him to read thier scripts. Hey kevin smith I had this great idea for a movie once.... seriously Harry just show him the back gate already and let him get to the good stuff, as I&#39;m sure he&#39;d have some great contributions!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:02 p.m. CST

    All talkback users are freaks (including me). 95% of the stuff

    by AlexMaui2

    We really are a bunch of sad gits I hope you know. Don&#39;t deny it! On a side note here is a warning... Here is a good example of what happens to a person like Kevin Smith who DOES respond to the haters on the IMDb ( Just check out the forum of this fool background actor called Monroe Mann. He even has a hate site devoted to his responding to people on the net. Be warned Kevin. I really dig you talking to fans, but sometimes it can backfire, quite spectacularly in Monroe Mann&#39;s case.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Making a sequel to clerks is like Degrassi on a saturday...

    by Hideo Kojima


  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:17 p.m. CST

    Nitpicking... vs. good entertainment.

    by VibroCount

    The great thing about art is that it entertains. Music, paintings, sculpture, books, films -- no matter how lowbrow or literate it is, it still can entertain. Kevin Smith admits he&#39;s a lousy director, that he&#39;s in awe of great writing & writers, that he&#39;s a fangeek who got his dream job. But I&#39;ve enjoyed every film of his I&#39;ve seen & I&#39;ve missed out on seeing the comic books. We can nitpick the bad parts forever (the damned cheezy special effects sky showing through the parrot&#39;s eye in Citizen Kane really knocks the film offtrack & it never recovers), but if the film moves any viewers, it might be working. Kevin Smith is working on another film, and by his own goals, seems to be enjoying his success. So he spends time at his website like the other ubergeek Wil Wheaton does at his. Even Harry seems to be having a good time, as are all you trolls. Trolls can be fun, too! (And they try harder if you don&#39;t rise to their bait... which can be even more fun.) Kevin Smith -- make your film; I&#39;ll watch it. Maybe it will entertain me, or maybe you&#39;ll miss. Either way, do what you want... you&#39;re living every person&#39;s dream -- earning a living doing what you like to do. I&#39;m jealous as all hell.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:17 p.m. CST

    &#39;Clerks 2: I&#39;d Buy That For a Dollar&#39; part 2.

    by AlexMaui2

    Hi Kevin (if you read all the replies you got for a second time). That title you replied to before was motivated by appreciation of your work rather than disgust. I like you and found your &#39;Prince&#39; section of your &#39;Evening With...&#39; DVD the funniest film-related story ever. And I think your wife is sexy. But I don&#39;t like Jason Mewes because he does drugs and is a bad example for kids. Good luck in making Clerks 2! And give the religion thing a rest already, Jesus rocks and you are just pissed because you&#39;re going to Hell. :P

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:19 p.m. CST


    by Neo Zeed

    You spoke the truth dude! This reeks of the fear Kev! Plus Jersey Girl didn&#39;t suck because of anti-Bennifer hype. It might have flopped with mainstream Access Hollywood lovin&#39; gossip motherfuckers who care about that shit. But as a film, it just wasn&#39;t very good. But Clerks 2 sounds funny. Go for it!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:21 p.m. CST

    First of all, what makes you think that kevin Smith is the only

    by HypeEndsHere

    Secondly, if Kevin Smith has something to say to an audience, he has been blessed with the opportunity to say it through film. I feel any message is watered down by frequent speaks with an audience. (commentary tracks on DVDs included)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:28 p.m. CST


    by Proman1984

    IT&#39;S LIKE HAVING ANOTHER REGULAR TALKBACKER RESPOND TO OTHER TALKBACKERS. NERD TALKING BACK TO NERDS (AND BEFORE ANYONE GETS OFFENDED, I USE THIS WORD VERY compassionately). The only thing different is that this (sel-proclaimed, just like Harry) nerd has made it big. So I have to ask, why speial treatment(i.e. dark background). And by the way, I&#39;ll be more impressed if you were to get someone who&#39;s not PC friendly (and not nerdy) like Michael Palin to respond here instead. Peace.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:30 p.m. CST


    by Forestal

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:30 p.m. CST

    have some self-respect man - who cares what talkbackers think?

    by Cedar_Room

    I like some Kevin Smith stuff, thought J&SBSB was pure ass - but why does he feel the need to apologise for making films that other people didn&#39;t like? How low on self esteem is he? Who cares what TBers think for fucks sake? Who cares if your wife has big ears? In fact - why am I even responding to this bullshit? Clerks 3: Return Of The Mic Fart

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:42 p.m. CST

    I haven&#39;t seen a full Kevin Smith movie

    by Terminator

    I&#39;ve seen bits and pieces but never a full movie and I doubt I ever will. They just aren&#39;t entertaining at all to me. For example, I was watching Attack of the Show and they showed a clip from Clerks with a guy putting his finger in his ass before shaking someone&#39;s hand. that supposed to be funny? Didn&#39;t they do that in Ready 2 Rumble?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:53 p.m. CST

    I guess I&#39;m gonna sound like a suck-up, but I like most Kevi

    by Orionsangels

    I&#39;m not crazy on his romantic lesbian bennifer comedies he makes, but clerks, mallratz, dogma. Jay & Silent Bob strike back. "What&#39;s your malfunction little boy" He&#39;s dah-man! I own all those DVDs. Sometimes I sleep with them and tell the DVDs bedtime stories. I get all gitty. So thanks Kevin. I look forward to this, &#39;Passion of the Clerks&#39; thing. I just hope the actors don&#39;t look old and pathetic and still have the magic

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:03 p.m. CST

    Wives should be off limits

    by Decepticon

    Period. Except for Gene Roddenberry&#39;s wife, who helped ride the Star Trek franchise into the ground. All this lady did was marry Kevin Smith: it&#39;s a punkass move to publicly diss or salivate over her from a safe digital distance. Kevin: it&#39;s time to start delivering the goods. Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy were decent flicks; Green Arrow wasn&#39;t bad if a bit convoluted; and Daredevil/Bullseye -- what the fuck, man? You have only yourself to blame when you didn&#39;t finish that one. You&#39;re a fanboy: what did you expect? Hosannas? Enough talk on fansites about woulda coulda... show us what you got. I&#39;m willing to be convinced, but not by a post.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Mr. Smith.

    by Quin the Eskimo

    Thank you for Dogma. Keep up the magnificent reduction of the waist.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Uhhh ,,,, Smith

    by Itchy

    please tell me you&#39;ve got something better to do with your life than sit on this site and post 50 times per day. I mean, if you&#39;re living the same pathetic life as the rest of us, what do we have to aspire to ? Crap.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Kev -baby, this ones for you....


    "You got the touch You got the power After all is said and done You&#39;ve never walked, you&#39;ve never run, You&#39;re a winner You got the moves, you know the streets Break the rules, take the heat You&#39;re nobody&#39;s fool You&#39;re at your best when when the goin&#39; gets rough You&#39;ve been put to the test, but it&#39;s never enough You got the touch You got the power When all hell&#39;s breakin&#39; loose You&#39;ll be riding the eye of the storm You got the heart You got the motion You know that when things get too tough You got the touch You never bend, you never break You seem to know just what it takes You&#39;re a fighter It&#39;s in the blood, it&#39;s in the will It&#39;s in the mighty hands of steel When you&#39;re standin&#39; your ground And you never get hit when your back&#39;s to the wall Gonna fight to the end and you&#39;re takin&#39; it all You got the touch You got the power When all hell&#39;s breakin&#39; loose You&#39;ll be riding the eye of the storm You got the heart You got the motion You know that when things get too tough You got the touch You&#39;re fightin&#39; fire with fire You know you got the touch You&#39;re at your best when when the road gets rough You&#39;ve been put to the test, but it&#39;s never enough You got the touch You got the power You got the touch You got the power"....I think I posted this on Aquaf@g already. But it just*sniff*.. seems to have such deeper meaning here *sniff*

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:22 p.m. CST

    What the hell are you doing reading these posts? I thought I to

    by Heywood Jablowme

    That was the balls posting all those responses. I know a guy has better things to do than to trudge through some of these asinine and often brutal posts, so respect to you. Word of warning though, stay away from the comic threads. Unless you know crazy trivia like who did the inks on Dazzler issues #s 3-8, you can&#39;t sit at the cool kids&#39; table. Best of luck.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:23 p.m. CST

    RE: Kev -baby, this ones for you....

    by Neo Zeed

    Listen to the words of Stan Bush my man, Kev man. If it can work for that peice of shit Hot Rod it can work for you. Self esteem is special!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Clerks 3

    by KarmicRelief

    Here&#39;s an idea...Clerks 3: SuperSilence Me. Documentary style. Where Silent Bob eats at Mooby&#39;s for an entire month just to see how big he can actually get. Waistline aside, Mr. Smith is doing a fine job with his flicks. Don&#39;t think you&#39;ll like &#39;em, then fuck off and don&#39;t watch &#39;em. Jesus...

  • Kevin&#39;s a third-shifter

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:05 p.m. CST


    by Dr. Hilarius

    Are you involved in it anymore? I just moved from Canada and I miss the hell out of that show. So damn funny, especially the original. Luckily, its headed here (AZ) on a new channel.

  • No, genius is curing cancer...that was just mildly amusing.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Re: All The Internet&#39;s The Internet, Y&#39;Know.

    by Smalltown

    Not much to say here that hasn&#39;t been said by Kevin but... I find it kind of odd that everyone&#39;s like "Oh my God, I can ask Kevin Smith a question on the internet!" when... like... you&#39;ve been able to do that on Kevin&#39;s website since July of &#39;96. You just type in, it&#39;s not like these forums are on a different network from those. Is forum-style or website so ideological to a person that they&#39;ll only talk to someone if they&#39;re on a certain site or board? I don&#39;t really understand.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:36 p.m. CST


    by thedrunkenone

    I read the Kevin Smith thing on his message board probably not long before it was pointed out here, or right around the same time. I love the fact that on the talkback he quoted everyone was talking shit. Now all of the sudden he is officially on this board, everyone loves him. Some talkbackers have been very cool, but generally, the rest of you are assholes, pussies, etc. My guess is most of the Kevin Smith "haters" love his work, but are disgruntled because they can no longer talk about his work to friends and seem obscure. You are pissed off he is mainstream, even though, he really isn&#39;t. I am no Kevin Smith fan (at least to that extent). I will watch pretty much everything he does that is accesible to me and have enjoyed it. That&#39;s it, I&#39;ve seen all his movies save Jersey Girl. I did not leave that movie out for the reasons many say, I just never got to it, period. His movies are entertainment, that&#39;s it, pure and simple. If you are entertained, great, if not, turn it off and go watch Casablanca. To me, his movies are funny, I do laugh a lot, but I do not watch them repetitively. I actually think the message board on is by far more entertaining. Him ripping into you assholes was funnier than anything in any of his movies, which I do hold in decently high regard as funny. Kevin Smith is a damn hilarious person, you talkbackers are not, for the most part anyway. <p> Think about the Bruce Campbell thing I sent in a couple months back. It was published here. Although many talkbackers sucked, it wasn&#39;t bad at all, for a change. Bruce Campbell loves his fans and loves interacting with them. If he doesn&#39;t, he in turn is actually a really goddamn good actor, so either way you look at it, you are wrong. Bruce Campbell either loves his fans, or he is a good actor. Yet many said he does not like his fans and is a shitty actor. I believe Kevin Smith loves his fans. He is not going to bullshit you into saying he remembers you and loves you personally if he really doesn&#39;t, well, unless he has a really good joke to back it up. He loves his fans, he knows he&#39;s not Ridley Scott, and he actually wastes his time in the AICN Talkback to respond to you assholes. Yes, he is WASTING his time responding to you assholes. Why? Because he is a fan, and connects with fans.<p> In short, shut the fuck up. Not only in this case, but in all cases. If you have constructive criticism, fine, if you are here to bash shit you like but do not respect because you no longer are the only person on the planet that cares, go fuck yourself.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:38 p.m. CST


    by Smalltown

    Is it that said people are afraid of linebreaks for paragraphs? What&#39;s with this type of board and the total lack of spacing?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:39 p.m. CST mean there are other forums out there?????

    by Shermdawg

    Yeah right, next you&#39;ll tell us the earth is round. I&#39;M NOT BUYING IT!!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:46 p.m. CST

    What&#39;s up Mr. Smith? I&#39;m R.C. Welcome to the AICN "com

    by R.C. the "Wise"

    You should check out the Aquaf@g Talkback. Not the beginning {for that&#39;s filled with self-rightious, pretentious, and utterly stupid debates on an array of mindnumbing topics} rather scroll down to lower-middle of the gigantic Talkback to catch some of the unique and rather precocious postings during the 5000th TB "celebration." That particular day best illustrates the positive and creative potential that can be generated by these TB&#39;s. I wouldn&#39;t necessarily consider it heavy in the "geek/nerd" sense but rather in the humorous and uniquely instant creativity potential of an virtual shared scenario featuring a dozen story tellers...........Check it out. It&#39;s certainly "unique." haha especially MY post, featuring everyone&#39;s favorite actor: Christopher Walken!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 9:57 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m not checking it out R.C. unless there is COWBELL.

    by Shermdawg

    I need...more cowbell!!!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:11 p.m. CST


    by spidermanfreak20

    WHY CLERKS 2 WILL SUCK. IT ISNT GOING TO BE REAL. I was contemplating writing this and posting it in AICN and I forgot and found out Smith himself went through them and read it anyway. Here ya go Kevin. Clerks 2 wont work because its impossible for me to believe after nearly 11 years Dante and Randall are still employed there. Now having watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back which was pretty much a comic book,cartoon come to life the Dante and Randall there where put there to just appease the fan base. But what Kevin is saying is he wants to realistically go back and see what would have happened to these characters. Ok now Smith circa 1993 isnt Smith circa 2005. Not counting Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back movies version of Dante and Randall which is a bullshit version of them. The truth is in 11 years we as a world have changed. Think about it. We&#39;ve gone from VHS to DVD to Netflix. We had 911 we had Bill Clinton get his dick sucked too Bush winning presidency twice war in Iraq. As TV we had American Idol, we have ipods. Theater wise we went through LOTR and other inpendent films. We have piracy we have internet. THE INTERNET. This was touched upon in Jay and Silent Bob but come on. Its impossible to believe Dante still lives at home and stays around quick stop with Randall discussing pop culture. Not possible. Look at the movie Ghost World. Look how Enid and Rebecca changed after high school. In the beginning they were witty and funny and had fun at others expense but look how after high school theyre friendship disintegrated and they changed as people. I have gone through something like this similiar with a real close friend. He and I were friends for 2 years basically big movie fans. Now I cant stand movies and especially Eric. Little things started to annoy me and I&#39;m not his friend anymore. Come on Randall is an annoying motherfucker. Hed be fired sometime in 11 years if he kept us his little manner. The dude is chronically late. People would also upgrade to Netflix by now and theres even Direc TV to rent movies. Its no longer important to rent at RSTV video. Even if your in Jersey. In fact theyre is a huge boom of Video Reatil stores so RSTV aint the only place in town circa 2005. The true Clerks 2 would show the real change in the Clerks. From guys who hate their jobs to guys like Max from Collateral. They dream of doing something else but when a Vincent type man comes into their life and tells them "Tell your boss to fuck off." Max denies and panics. Imagine that as Randall. A customer comes in talks shit to him and he would be afraid to tell them something mean for fear of getting fired. Thats real. Thats who Randall would be after Eleven fucking years. He realizes this job is all he has if loses this hes got nothing. Not even Dante because the only connection they have is work. Take away work Dante wouldnt stop by after work to hang with Randall. This is what Dante would be as well as Randall. They&#39;d be really really afraid of starting shit. When they were young they had so many opportunites they didnt give a fuck. Eleven years later they realize all those doors have closed on them. All the girls they liked or fuck are married or moved away. If they lose this they lose it all. Randall would stray less and less from RSTV and even be early to work. Hed be to afraid of losing his job. He&#39;d never offer to play Hockey in the store or take a gatorade without paying elevn years later. Just look at you Kevin Smith how has your life changed from 1993-2005. We&#39;d be talking for days I&#39;m sure. Your a father now. You lost your father. Come on man give the same respect to Dante and Randall. These characters dont exist in a vacuum. Even Jay and Silent Bob got out of Jersey they met GOD THEY SAVED THE WORLD. What have Dante and Randall done...discuss the Flying Car and ummmm bitch about movies wow. This isnt real people dude. Im not saying these two wouldnt discuss shit but come on. Im sure Dante is thinking about bigger issues now instead of hey "Death Star contractors remember that." Etc... A similiar thing would be Harvey Pekar. Basically think of Dante as Harvey Pekar. Harvey never left his file clerk job. But look how much his life changed with American Splendor. It makes sense that Dante would do the same. Basically make a comic book entitled...Clerks. And put real shit inside. It&#39;d become a cult classic and transport Dante to late night talk shows etc.. Dante would align himself with the right people in Jersey and make a comic. This is what Clerks 2 should be about. Dante escape from QuickStop. Not "Oh my life sucks 11 years later Im pissed." We know that from the fact the movie is still called Clerks and you work in the same dead end job after eleven years. These characters need an escape man. Not life altering conversations about women or movies. You did something like this with Jersey Girl with Ben Afflecks character. You saw how his life changed in a moment. The same needs to happen to Dante and Randall. It&#39;d be nice to have a young kid be employed either at Quickstop or RSTV. Some 20 year old type kid who was alot like Dante or Randall from Clerks of 1994. Basically coming late hating the customers having pop culture talks about LOTR or whatever (I actually have a rant if your interested) etc.. Then have Dante and Randall go "We used to be you kid. We used to not give a shit.We hated the customers and we told them straight up. We&#39;d act in conuct unbefitting of a clerk. But we lost our balls man. We used to hate to have to come into work on our days off or any day for that matter. Now we find ourselves wanting to work days off just to collect our paycheck and not go back home where we have no wife no kids. Just an empty fridge and a tv. Where lonely losers. We fucked up in life and its too late to change now. We&#39;ve lost all hope and we now realize what you wont until you start to work here longer. If you want to escape from this cage you have to escape from yourself first." This is the Clerks movie I want to see. The real one. Not the fucking cartoon with Jay and Silent Bob who I believe is all wrong. They&#39;ve had their film. They conflict with reality because come on the guys met GOD! They should have cameos if anything but this film should focus on the REAL Dante and Randall. Not the one fans are expecting to see. That is all.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Kevin. FUCK these people

    by Rcamacho2278

    Fuck em man, if they paying you to do clerks 2 then you DO THAT SHIT. and you make that money and you make more toys and lunchboxes and towels and you Donald Trump that shit up and let these pussy talkbackers bitch and bitch and wish that they even had the ability to write a script UWE BOLL caliber. Even Paul Anderson Quality. And when your done with clerks 2 you sell out and do Green Hornet. Or a die hard Rated R version of Daredevil. Throughout the process pour your champagne on the floor, raise a middle finger in the air, and yell FUCK TALKBACKERS! word.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:24 p.m. CST

    Kevin Christ, Superstar

    by Ace Hunter

    "And to my Big-Eared-Wife I say, &#39;Honey, some random, faceless &#39;net dude and chick wrote that your ears are big.&#39; To which she&#39;ll say, &#39;So?&#39;" Your wife seem well-centered and secure with herself (which she should - she&#39;s hot). You could learn a lot from her.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:42 p.m. CST

    I just want to be part of all the fun.

    by keekthesneek

    that is all.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by thedrunkenone

    Just look at that statement. Absorb the message. A decently, at the least, written talkback. But that statement, pretty damn lame. You believe that the newest Clerks will not be real? I really goddamn hope you didn&#39;t think the first one was real. If so, you have AICN Talkback Syndrome. The moment you start interpretting what you see on TV as real, you are worse than a fucking schizo. Not one second of what you see on TV is real. Even the fucking news is skewed, you can&#39;t trust those fuckers either. At the least I can understand thinking the news is true, but thinking a fictional movie is true; thou art fucked.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:48 p.m. CST


    by thedrunkenone

    you believe a person has spiderwebs thrusting from his wrists. If you do not believe that, then you at least like something about it and hopefully you realize it is fictional. So what is the fucking difference?

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:50 p.m. CST

    You misundertstood.

    by spidermanfreak20

    I understand movies aren&#39;t real.I didn&#39;t mean real as in everything happened realistically. I meant real as in its speaking the truth realistically given the story. Clerks along with Chasing Amy were real in that unlike Dogma,Mallrats,Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Backs they could have been TRUE stories. I cant believe Jay and Bob would meet god nor anything in Mallrats. But Clerks was taken from experiences Smith has at Quickstop he just added spunk and charm to it. For me Clerks too cant be true or realistic given the story if they have these guys sitting around talking about Star Wars all day. Show me how these guys lack the balls to act anything like they did in Clerks 1. Theyre still the same people angry and pissed but they hide it better now. They no longer vent to the customers.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 10:52 p.m. CST

    Why ANY dialogue-dependent movie is overrated:

    by jorson2

    Talk is cheap -- that&#39;s the reason. It&#39;s especially cheap in MOTION PICTURES, and as the films of the early 20th century prove, completely unnecessary in the medium. &#39;Nice to have, but unnecessary. When Mr. Smith learns this, I&#39;ll try to watch one of his movies. Until then, I have no interest in a glorified radio program on celluloid that, by Smith&#39;s own admission, relies on fart jokes and vulgarity to draw an audience that probably thinks they&#39;re watching something "original." Oh, and if Harry thinks this is off-topic, he should read his own Talkback boards: There IS NO single topic from which to deviate. Now how much did it cost you to read my rant? See? Talk -- or writing -- is DEFINITELY cheap. (And so am I if I don&#39;t shut-up, so bye.)

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:02 p.m. CST

    WOW! The real Kevin Smith in a talk-back flame war...

    by Col. Klink

    ...kinda disturbing that Joe Hollywood sinks to the level of the average talk-backer.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:02 p.m. CST

    A not so quick note to Kevin Smith

    by Elwood_Blues

    Dear Kevin, Thank you for posting your hilarious commentary about the Talk back postings from earlier. I would love to have seen what other actors/writers/producers/directors have thought about what they have been called in these forums. The problem with these talkbacks is that the people writing here either take themselves way too seriously or they make some sort of flip remark to start a flame war. I refuse to be either type of person. What I will attempt to be though is critical of what I have seen of your work. I

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:03 p.m. CST

    A quick follow up

    by spidermanfreak20

    The reason people liked Lost In Translation was because of how real it felt. Nothing felt forced. It felt as if two people one young one old were really getting to know each other and even fall in love. Both knew they wouldnt get married live happily ever after the end. The way theyre story unfolded to their final kiss and whisper felt REAL. People liked the fact they didn&#39;t serve some sort of plotline and fuck in the end. This is what I mean by being real. Now yes Im all for fiction and escapist entertainment. Thats the point of movies. But Clerks isnt fiction escapist entertainment. It isnt a buddy road trip movie. Its not a cartoon like the Simpsons. It&#39;s a film speaking to a generation of people who work over the counter. But that generation has all grown up. So the minority of guys who have worked at Publix or Blockbuster for over eleven years doing the job of a college student is basically non existant. This story is saying there are some guys who never left heres what there life is like. If you look at the with Dante and Randall called the Flying Car that didnt feel real to me. It felt they had to play a steroetype of themselves instead of just be themselves. This is how a realistic person might have taken that scene. "Hey Randall shut the fuck up this is a stupid conversation. I&#39;ve got a headache and were not at work. Stop all of this chopping my foot off theory. This entire thing will basically end with the punchline being "Oh dude your so gay ha ha ha ha." Being gay right now is the least of my problems I&#39;m still a fucking store clerk and will probably die a clerk having accomplished nothing in my life and die alone. So I really dont give a shit about flying any car because Ill be long dead before such a car exists. So shut the fuck up or take the bus to work from now on."

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:23 p.m. CST

    I respect a person&#39;s right to express an opinion...

    by StudioPlant69

    If you don&#39;t like Mr. Smiths films that&#39;s fine, but the people who insult his wife and friends. Is that all you have to do make a personal attack on someone you don&#39;t know anything about. Mr. Smith, Please continue to make films and write, cause there are enough people out there who appreciate it.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:28 p.m. CST

    "Hey Kevin, try your hand at directing a star wars tv episode."

    by Thirteen 13

    Actually now THAT I would watch because that wouldn&#39;t suck at all. That would make me excited for Star Wars once again. I sure has hell am not going to watch any Star Wars television spinoffs as long as George "Jar Jar" Lucas insists on remaining in complete control. Oh by the way Kevin, even after your responses I still think "Passion of the Clerks" stinks as a title. I&#39;m excited about Clerks 2 but that "Passion of the _____" fill in the blank joke got old 5 minutes after Mel&#39;s movie was released. I&#39;m sure once you get in the groove of shooting Clerks 2 that you will think of something a lot better...hopefully.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Spider Man

    by thedrunkenone

    Alright, you at least half-ass redeemed yourself. I do not agree, but do not disagree. My problem is that many of the "fellow" geeks here, including yourself, are way too technical. We have geeks talking shit because they hate something only because they love it and all of the sudden became popular, and many other forms. It is fine to critique something, but you fuckers go way fucking overboard on it. I think some of it has to do with being safe behind your computers, but mostly, you suffer from one of many neurotic disorders. Drama queens galore! No... Internet drama queens!!! Real drama queens risk getting their ass beat for being dumb. You risk nothing, except your precious AICN TB password.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Spider Man

    by thedrunkenone

    Sorry Spiderman, that was not really directed at you. At first I started off on you, but strayed to the really bad seeds that make the TB experience unpleasant.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Kevin is overrated

    by Salsashark1

    I don&#39;t get it. What a loser . . .

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Kevin&#39;s witty reply to salsashark

    by seppukudkurosawa

    <<Kevin is overrated by Salsashark1 I don&#39;t get it. What a loser . . .>> No extra spicy and nicy head for Salsa. And I&#39;m over-rated? I&#39;m Kevin Smith. I&#39;ve got a right to be over-rated. Who the hell is salsashark? A sweating fajita addict who spends all his time dipping his finger into that oily nacho dip (when not typing pointless comments about me. I&#39;m Kevin Smith!). To summarise. I&#39;m Kevin Smith!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:47 a.m. CST

    "Hey Kevin, try your hand at directing a star wars tv episode."


    That might actually rule me thinks

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:53 a.m. CST

    more to life...

    by drewATX

    Take all the beautiful, talented, and interesting people out there along with all of the dreamers. They are all in or thinking about being in the entertainment business. Its glamorous and fun and exciting. The amount of energy, $$$ and manpower it takes to make a flick, even a bad one, is absolutely staggering. Imagine if this energy from all these talented, wonderous people was actually directed at something worthwhile since only about 25% of movies are worth watching. Volunteer, people, for fuck&#39;s sake there is a world out there that exists beyond your selfish fantasies. At least help set up a cot while your daydreaming. Realize that the reason you want to be a director or singer or artist(God help you) is the fact that you are suffering from media trauma. Ask most people what their dream is. %99 of the time its "I want to be on Broadway", or "I want to make a movie" ad nauseum and thats just sad. If you were going to be living that life chances are YOU would already be living it. Just try to be you on your best day EVERYDAY. Making a (chances are) mediocre product or reuniting someone with there family. Which one do you think would be more fulfilling?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:58 a.m. CST

    We&#39;ve done the impossible

    by Dr Uwe Boll

    and that makes us mighty. ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Kevin, where do you find the time?

    by Doom II

    Writing, directing, watching dvd&#39;s, reading talkback forums on this site and responding to the assholes who lurk here (including me)? You da man. I barely have enough energy to get up in the morning.....Except my 4 year MAKES me get up at 7 every morning. And I am a quiet fan who attended Vulgarthon 05, got his pic taken with you, took a GREAT pic of you and you and your wife in the lobby of the Arclight (I can send you a copy but it will require a walk on role in Clerks 2. Sorry dude, that&#39;s business. I also saw Mallrats 2 times ON OPENING FUCKING WEEKEND, saw Chasing Amy 2 times ON OPENING FUCKING WEEKEND knew Jason Lee was going to be a star back in his Blind Video Days (days?) and PAID to see Jersey Girl 1 time ON OPENING FUCKING WEEKEND. I am silent, but loyal, my friend......

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:02 a.m. CST

    Its not Joe Hollywood, its Kevin Smith

    by Falcon5768

    Kevin is a Jersey boy at heart, and if anyone who lives here knows, you dont back out of a good verbal fight. One step into Jersey (ghetto) Gardens mall would tell you instantly that venimous scathing comments directed at some asshat you dont know who disrespects you ranks up there with bowling, loitering, and pissing off the 7-11 indians for most Jersey folk. And honestly, half you fucks had it comming, I wish Lucas had the balls to come on here some time and go FUCK YOU ASSHOLES JUST FOR THIS IM REDOING EVERY MOVIE WITH JARJAR IN EVERY FUCKING SCENE. I think that would make to collective group of "raped my childhood" fanboys heads explode, which at this point aint such a bad fucking thing. Im glad Kevin is sticking up for himself, I mean fuck those of you here who love to spout off that he&#39;s a hack couldnt work your parents camcorder and the ones who havent even seen his films should get out of their parents basement once in a while. I personally find Kevins shit to be amazing, and my father 34 years my senior (puts him at 58 for you guys playing at home) actually agrees, and took ME to go see Jay and SilentBob! My dads not a easy man to please, but when he gets a kick out of seeing the places he grew up in and some of the antics which I sadly have to say are very true to life of shit that goes on around here, you just cant help to laugh at how insain it is. So thank you Kevin for yet again proving your one of us, even despite you success. Just dont get artsy fartsy and blow peoples fucking brains out at the end -_-.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:20 a.m. CST

    Got to love...

    by Neosamurai85

    Talkbackers saying FUCK TALKBACKERS! I wish people would stop that. It sounds like a request... a request that is not likely to be answered here. I&#39;m not trying to jump down anyones throat in particular or really at all... but when you step aside and look at it... it&#39;s just really fucking stupid. Peace.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:30 a.m. CST

    by Nairb The Movie

    I&#39;m not defending a sinking ship here. I know it flopped. I admit it. I am a die hard whedonite. I have his face tatooed on heh.. anyway... "The first big screen adventure of the crew of Joss Whedon&#39;s Serenity failed to bring in the number of Browncoats and science fiction fans that its distributor Universal may have hoped, although it still earned more than $10 million its opening weekend in only 2,188 theatres, averaging more per theatre than Flightplan." SO technically on an adjusted scale it beat FLIGHTPLAN! Word..

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith - Good (if limited) writer, fucking piss poor direct

    by LeiaDown&FuckHer

    That pretty much sums up my thoughts on the man in a nutshell. Clerks was good and fun enough for what it was (those that think it revolutionary need to get out more often and widen their viewing range though), Mallrats I thought was goofy fun. Jersey Girl was awful disneyesque paint by numbers saccharin shite - not because of Affleck or J-Ho, but just because it was. I felt embarrassed for the great George Carlin to be trapped in such an utterly unholy generic cookie cutter shitstain of a film, hope he at least pulled down a nice paycheck for his efforts, especially as he was the only thing worthwhile in the whole flick. Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back was, in all honesty, a joke too far and way past it&#39;s prime, still, it had it&#39;s moments I guess, even if the film overall did fall too flat far too often. And Dogma, that could have been Smith&#39;s greatest film by far, the script was there, the performances and talent was there, unfortunately Kevin Smith has no visual or artistic style as a director whatsoever, and this script, more than any of his others, deserved far more and far better treatment than the simplistic and stagnant point, focus, frame and shoot approach. Had Dogma had a good, vusualist director with that self same script, and managed to avoid a couple of Smith&#39;s over indulgences to boot, it could have been truly classic, all the ingredients were there. As it stands though it just reeks of so much lost potential, even though it&#39;s passable enough overall. And Chasing Amy, still Smith&#39;s best overall film by far, and not just because it&#39;s a great, tight script with few indulgences taken, but also because Smith&#39;s basic point n&#39; shoot approach actually works for the story being told in this case. As for Clerks 2, can&#39;t say I&#39;m excited, or even all that interested at this point, but I&#39;m sure I&#39;ll check it out when it hits shiny disc. My guess is, it&#39;ll have it&#39;s moments, but can&#39;t help feeling like screaming "for fuck&#39;s sakes, is this all you&#39;re ever going to god damn make" whenever I hear about it. I mean that well isn&#39;t just running damn dry, the bucket is digging into the damn rock at this point. My unasked for, unwanted advice - stop being such a pussy and try something truly different and that will truly push you for a change, rather than all these reruns on a familiar theme that you&#39;re clearly (too) comfortable with, succeed or fail, at least it&#39;d show that you&#39;re an actual film maker trying to create, rather than just the filmic equivalent of a telemarketer spewing out the same schtick in a slightly different order in an effort to sell the same old same old to the familiar, the faithful and the fanatics. Prove this isn&#39;t all you can (or will ever) do, that&#39;s all I, as a film fan, ask.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:50 a.m. CST

    I also think Jon Favreau might be good...


    I&#39;m really digging his aproach with "Zathura" Using old-school-tech...sounds bitchn. I know the cgi-sux gripe is almost as old as AICN itself. But any SW-show would be alot cooler if it got back to the "look" of OT. Yeah, yeah...I should quit posting shit and go make my own fucking movie. FINE! You got punks! Hopefully someday I can roll back here Smith-style if/when you guys are ripping on my shitty stuff. late

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Mallrats was crap- and Dogma, and Chasing Amy, and Jay and Sile

    by Sithlord_999

    CLERKS was a fucking masterpiece, irreverent dialogue and funny situations, that&#39;s THE comedy of the 90&#39;s- a priceless movie made by an ingenious filmmaker that set the standard of indie films for the next decade. Go CLERKS 2.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 2:39 a.m. CST

    Jesus Christ...

    by DocPazuzu

    I cannot fucking BELIEVE the oncreasingly annoying individuals trying to lure Smith to the zombified Aquaf@g so-called TalkBack. You dweebs have crawled so far up your own asses with your "themes", "sharing" and outrageously odious philosophizing that you no longer have any idea what you sound like. You clueless twats are like camp councellors from Hell - the ones who organize "cool" social and "bonding" activities like "spirited" campfire singing and soap bar carving competitions, much like the punchable cretins in Addams Family Values, if you need a reference point. I&#39;d tell you to fuck off, but knowing you, it would most likely result in a sit-in, interminable life lesson anecdotes and the recital of more hideously bad poetry.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 2:46 a.m. CST

    Does that make you Christina Ricci?!?!

    by Flummage

    ...I always did think you would look better with pig tails Pazuzu.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:16 a.m. CST

    WAY too much free time

    by Rupee88

    He has time for this, but can&#39;t finish writing his Marvel comics?? Priorities, dude..Priorities... Actually, I thought it was a wacky work of genius to respond to all the Talkbackers...he had me laughing out loud as usual. I don&#39;t know what other "mainstream" director would do something like this. You won me over yet again, Kev.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Yeah, his wife is attractive, but...

    by Rupee88

    ...he comes off as a bit pussy-whipped to put her in his movies. At least in J&SB, she wasn&#39;t the best actress out there. I guess it didn&#39;t detract from the film much, but it just makes Kevin look kinda cuckolded to cast her. But I guess David Mamet does the same thing and his wife is a really bad actress. I guess there are worse people to be grouped together with than Mamet, especially if you pride yourself on being a wordsmith.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:48 a.m. CST

    Rupee88, you have no idea what that word means, do you?

    by human2

    "it just makes Kevin look kinda cuckolded to cast [his wife]"??? Cuckolded? That makes absolutely no sense in that context. As for &#39;pussy whipped&#39;, involving your romantic partner in your hobby/job automatically makes you pussy whipped? Have you ever TOUCHED a girl? Use a dictionary, you ignorant fuck. Cuckolded? Wordsmith? haha. Post back when you find out what it really means and explain what a dumbfuck you are for trying to use words you don&#39;t even know the meaning of.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 7:32 a.m. CST

    jay and silent bob was NOT a disappointment,sith lord_999

    by jig98

    it was funnier than anything ive seen in years with animal house style material happening every two minutes.."THE SIGN ON THE BACK OF THE CAR SAID CRITTERS OF HOLLLYWOOOD!!! YOU DUMB F--K!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 7:43 a.m. CST

    "...he comes off as a bit pussy-whipped to put her in his movies

    by BrunoTheDog

    Have you ever had a significant other? Someone you cared about and wanted to share your life with? It&#39;s only natural to want to include your wife in a major part of your like work. Kev is just lucky that he is able to do that; I&#39;m a computer network engineer, I can&#39;t include my wife in my work at all. But he is able to bring her into his work-world and make her a part of it, which is great for them. If you&#39;re going to knock him for something, don&#39;t let be that he has a healthy desire to be around his wife.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8:22 a.m. CST

    "Browncoats Thing"

    by dkirk78

    I never post anything, so this isn&#39;t the action of someone defending their previous posts-- but as far as I can tell, the browncoats thing was Harry and Moriarty insulting Firefly fans in their Serenity reviews, and then getting surprised when they got angry. Granted, the rabid fans can be annoying, but they aren&#39;t any different than your regular trolls, and they only represent a segment of the fans. To paint them all with one brush seems confusing-- as if Harry and Moriarty decided that, because it wasn&#39;t something THEY were huge fans of, it was okay to be dismissive. Odd that a site based on geekery would suddenly put so much energy into deciding WHICH geekery is acceptable and which isn&#39;t.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8:22 a.m. CST

    For someone who makes comedies, Kevin sure doesn

    by mortsleam

    You never should have reopened the talkback registration in the first place. The eighteen hundred teenagers that have infested this place for the past few months, spewing off topic BS hate speech (racist, sexist, homophobic, Republican, etc) and getting banned only to show up yet again another guise, have made it a chore to slog through the talkbacks, and reinforced every stereotype that Smith explored in Jay and Silent Bob. And they

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Jay and silent bob DID suck im sorry

    by Rcamacho2278

    Even I must say jay and silent bob did suck. Maybe it&#39;s cuz I was seeing it with 2 asshole friends who forced themselves to laugh at shit that wasnt funny. Like the CLit Commander scene. I say do an original movie, not a sequel .

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8:32 a.m. CST


    by mistrmindqed


  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith: Fuck you.

    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    Way to go with that whole "You&#39;re Stan Lee! The guy who single-handedly created the entire Marvel universe with no help whatsoever!" You know who butters your bread, don&#39;tcha? You fucking shill. JACK KIRBY is, was and always shall be The King of Comics. Look into it, you know-nothing douchebag. Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit) once said "I just don&#39;t get Jimi Hendrix. It happened before I was born and I just don&#39;t get it." That&#39;s why Fred Durst should stay the fuck away from trying to make music. Kevin Smith doesn&#39;t know jack shit about comics and that&#39;s why he should stay away from attempting to write them. Just about anybody could sell a Black Cat comic drawn by Terry Dodson... It&#39;s certainly not because he&#39;s a decent writer. You suck, Smith.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:47 a.m. CST

    What does Kevin think about Troy Duffy and the whole `Overnight`

    by Pumpkinsboy

    Peter Biskind calls him a `Mirimax-ologist` (or something to that effect) and while I was watching `Overnight` I was wondering what Kevin would make of it all.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Edit Feature

    by Dr. Hilarius

    If they had that on here all these fucking geeks would go back and edit shit when they are wrong, which is often.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:58 a.m. CST

    My wife REALLY likes you, BIG K. But if you ever accept any fav

    by JDanielP

    Really, my wife is a HUGE fan of Kevin, Joss, and George. (If I have to spell out their last names, you&#39;re not a regular at AICN.) Anyway, directing movies may only be "wishful thinking" for me, but I think I understand why Kevin is so intimidated by a huge production like "The Green Hornet" (and the like). Such movies require an artistic approach. With comic books, you have people who are "word-smiths" ...and you have people who tell the story visually. True, there are people who are capable and may do both (Frank Miller, for example) ...but I&#39;m guessing that Kevin sees himself as I see him, in the sense that he&#39;s not the best choice for directing big action movies. (You need someone more VISUAL than that.) And Kevin seems okay with it. And I don&#39;t think we&#39;re going to see him illustrating comics anytime soon, either. (But then, I knew this guy in high school who couldn&#39;t draw worth a darn but had a great sense of humor... and had drawn some howling-funny stick-figure comic strips.) And to further drive home my point, it looks like a gifted artist like Dave McKean will prove himself as a director with "MirrorMask".

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Missed you in Chicago Comicon (sp?)

    by MaguaSynfield

    Kevin, man, Dogma was the funniest thing I&#39;d seen since Airplane & Blazing Saddles, and as some one else earlier stated, ranks right there with Life of Brian as the alltime Greatest Story Ever (re)Told. Pity you couldn&#39;t get Salma to actually strip in the titty bar scene, but ours is not a perfect world. I don&#39;t care what ever sins you&#39;ve committed in this world ( I&#39;m guessing there&#39;s a few...), you will be saved because of Dogma. Not convince? Check out this impartial review from Vatican Weekly : "I laughed until my side & and palms hurt! - J Christ". Isn&#39;t that sweet? He&#39;s so forgiving...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:29 a.m. CST


    by MaguaSynfield

    this is what comes from doing this shit at work....sorry.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:48 a.m. CST

    I Think It&#39;s Great That You&#39;re Talkbacking. Now If You&#


    The weird thing about you is I&#39;d totally hang out with you. You seem like a cool, smart, funny guy. Knowledgable about movies. So why can&#39;t you make a good one? I don&#39;t mean "good" in the sense that fans love it--of course you&#39;re gonna have hardcore fans drooling over whatever you do. I&#39;m asking: Is it possible for you to make a friggen A-list movie? You&#39;ve seen them before; you know what they look like. You know what a well-edited script looks like. Does it look like any of your scripts? If you&#39;re happy pumping out new really REALLY special edition DVD&#39;s of your flicks where you and Afleck sit around making fun of them (and him) on new really REALLY special commentary tracks, that&#39;s fine. It&#39;s funny. It may even be worth the price. But please don&#39;t tell me that, say, DOGMA is anything more than a poorly-executed great idea. And ditto that for most of your films. I know this sounds harsh and I&#39;m a dick--yeah, yeah, I get it. FUCKING GROW, ALREADY. You can have dick/fart/gay jokes in great movies too ya know. Please, for the love of Satan, make THAT film.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:48 a.m. CST

    best thing about Jersey Girl

    by Iwasbanned?Me?

    was the grade school Sweeny Todd

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:58 a.m. CST

    This Talkback Is Way Too Long To Read

    by Barron34

    Sorry if I am repeating something already addressed prior, but this Talkback is way long. Regarding Kevin Smith and his reputed trepidation in doing action scenes: why doesn&#39;t he do one of his indie-style movies, but one with action, then get a good second unit guy who is already experienced shooting action to help him through the shoot? This way, Kevin could learn how to do action on the cheap, and then maybe do a bigger movie like GREEN HORNET later. Kevin should just write a lower budget story that includes action and shoot it that way. Furthermore, while I somewhat like the character of the Green Hornet, wouldn&#39;t it make more sense for Kevin to do the Green Arrow? Just asking.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Eye Roll, Please

    by MortGuffman

    Gotta love the internet. Say what you will about Smith&#39;s films, but he has an uncanny ability to connect and relate with the audience. When I saw "Clerks," I related to Dante who believed that there had to be more to life than this. Randal&#39;s speech blew me away because I knew he was right (I actually have used that monologue for several drama auditions). "Chasing Amy" I saw right after I realized that I&#39;d never end up with the girl I had been in love with for three years (ironically, she dumped me for a guy who ended up being gay). Hell, even "Jersey Girl," while I thought it was an incredibly uneven film, I could identify a little bit with Ben Affleck&#39;s character. I saw it when my wife and I were trying to start our own family (our first is due in February &#39;06). Smith&#39;s characters are wonderfully human and I think that&#39;s something that many directors and writers lose sight of sometimes. Is Smith a perfect writer/director. Hell no. I&#39;ve said that sometimes he relies too much on exposition ("Dogma" is a glaring example), but I had that same problem with "The Matrix" movies. But, like Dante, I believe in giving credit where credit is due. Smith&#39;s success relies on the fact that we KNOW these characters. And isn&#39;t that what movie-making is all about?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:10 a.m. CST

    grade school Sweeny Todd

    by MaguaSynfield

    You could make a whole movie outta that...gods balls, that was funny. Wonder what Sondheim thought...and "valiens", whilst entitled to his opinion ( for what it is worth) is in desparate need of a blow job.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Back up, son! The Comics Clinic is on!

    by KevinSmith

    <<Kevin Smith: Fuck you. by Jar Jar 4 Prez Way to go with that whole "You&#39;re Stan Lee! The guy who single-handedly created the entire Marvel universe with no help whatsoever!">> Um... did I write that? Lemme check... What I wrote, merely 24 hours earlier, and easily checked by scrolling above: Jack-tastic! by KevinSmith Kirby&#39;s a genius. I&#39;ve got nothing but love for Kirby. But I gots to give props to the writer before the artist: the guy who comes up with the concept in the first place, y&#39;know? The guy who&#39;s like "I got it! Spider-MAN!" I got love for Kirby, but I got awe for Stan Lee. Maybe it&#39;s me, but I think that covers both gents with due respect. <<You know who butters your bread, don&#39;tcha?>> Me, usually. My Mom, when she&#39;s in town. <<You fucking shill.>> Dude, I gave Kirby love. Chill. <<JACK KIRBY is, was and always shall be The King of Comics.>> Roz? This IS Roz Kirby, isn&#39;t it? I am duly rebuked. By a man named Jar Jar 4 Prez, no less. I will tell some girls about this exchange, and you will, no doubt, become tha alpha male. Expect much sucking of cock (yours) by many of the distaff today - for chicks dig dudes who set the record straight on who deserves how much respect in the comics pyramid. <<Look into it, you know-nothing douchebag.>> I will, I will - if for no other reason than to make myself as attractive to women as you&#39;ve no doubt made yourself with this primal display of strength, via funny book knowledge. <<Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit) once said "I just don&#39;t get Jimi Hendrix. It happened before I was born and I just don&#39;t get it." That&#39;s why Fred Durst should stay the fuck away from trying to make music.>> Fred Durst also once said "Getcha, getcha, get your groove on." I hope you didn&#39;t lend as much credence to that thought as well. <<Kevin Smith doesn&#39;t know jack shit about comics and that&#39;s why he should stay away from attempting to write them.>> No, sir - chronic LATENESS is why I should stay away from writing comics. But I&#39;ll be happy to do so, if you&#39;re willing to fill the void. I look forward to reading your comics, my passionate friend; I&#39;m sure they&#39;ll be fantastic, filled with all sorts of dialogue like "KIRBY IS KING! EVRY1 ELZ SUX! BEE-HOLD! EGO - THE LIVING PLANET!!!" << Just about anybody could sell a Black Cat comic drawn by Terry Dodson... It&#39;s certainly not because he&#39;s a decent writer.>> Wait - this isn&#39;t Roz Kirby at all! Terry, this is you, isn&#39;t it? <<You suck, Smith.>> Finally! Someone had the courage to be honest with me about my comics acumen. You, sir, have opened my eyes to what really matters in life: pussy.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:35 a.m. CST

    A confession! A scoop!

    by KevinSmith

    <<Now all you dorks are on your best behavior by Stan Gable I met Kevin Smith at a comics convention in Philadelphia about 3 or 4 years ago. He signed my copy of Green Arrow #1 and groped my now ex-wife>> Sir, you are confusing me with "Vulgar" director Bryan Johnson. I don&#39;t grope. I barely make eye contact with girls, a) because I&#39;m married, and fear the wrath of my Big-Eared-Wife, and b) because I&#39;m a closeted homosexual, who isn&#39;t as interested in pussy as I said I was to the guy whose biggest regret in life was never getting the chance to allow Kirby to go all Ass-To-Mouth on him.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I really dig Smith, but what&#39;s the deal with the Passion?

    by Right Bastard

    I&#39;ve been a fan for a long time (and years ago may have writen you the worst fan letter of all time...sorry about that, but that&#39;s another story). Clerks and Mallrats were perfect. I mean, any self respecting Comic geek should love that film. Jason Lee nailed his character. That, and we got to see Joey Adams&#39; tits. Chasing Amy was a great film, until I saw Dogma. After Dogma, I went back to Chasing Amy and realized that Holden&#39;s whole problem was that he was an uptight Catholic boy (which they say a few times in the film) who couldn&#39;t deal with a cool women because he was judging her because of her past, and that really pissed me off. Dogma didn&#39;t do it for me...sorry. Now, with Passion of the Clerks, I&#39;m interested, but not excited. It&#39;s like when a band you really enjoy changes their sound and no one gets it, so then they try to go back and sound like they did on the first album. It never quite works. Especially when you&#39;ve said over and over that you wanted to escape the "Jersey quadrilogy" thing and do new stuff. I really hope it&#39;s good, and not some lame come-back album, if you get my meaning. Oh, and can you tell Ben Affect to close his friggin&#39; mouth. Maybe he can learn a second expression, and emote by doing something other than having his mouth hang open like a goddam fish, or a two dollar whore waiting for your cock (sorry for the "cock" reference, but it&#39;s unavoidable when talking to Kevin Smith).

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Ah KS is back in the building

    by seppukudkurosawa

    The Man Comes Around.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    It&#39;s not always rainbows and butterflies, it&#39;s compromis

    by KevinSmith

    <<For someone who makes comedies, Kevin sure doesn

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:45 a.m. CST

    "You, sir, have opened my eyes to what really matters in life: p

    by MasterWhedon

    You put the pussy on a pedastal, oh Large One. Two things: 1) I agree with you about the Lee/Kirby thing. Writer&#39;s are the unsung heroes of this world. 2) What&#39;d you think of Serenity? The box office wasn&#39;t great, but the reception from those who saw it seems to be pretty positive. Keep up the good work. Loved Chasing Amy.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:50 a.m. CST

    by drjones

    there&#39;s a difference between good and bad off topic posts... i wonder what the aicn definition of off topic post is, as sometimes more or less off-topic posts just make the TB what it is.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Dude, I need the pussy. Don&#39;t begrudge me the pussy.

    by KevinSmith

    <<WAY too much free time by Rupee88 He has time for this, but can&#39;t finish writing his Marvel comics?? Priorities, dude..Priorities...>> I&#39;ve finished "Black Cat", bro. Let a brother enjoy his last few days off before he starts shooting, without having to think of shit for a blind guy in tights to say. << Actually, I thought it was a wacky work of genius to respond to all the Talkbackers...he had me laughing out loud as usual. I don&#39;t know what other "mainstream" director would do something like this. You won me over yet again, Kev.>> You and me, bro. You are a man who will fight for my honor. You&#39;lll be that hero, that I been dreaming of. We&#39;re gonna live forever, knowing together that we did it all, for the glory of love. <<Yeah, his wife is attractive, but... by Rupee88 ...he comes off as a bit pussy-whipped to put her in his movies.>> And with that, our love affair dies. <<At least in J&SB, she wasn&#39;t the best actress out there. I guess it didn&#39;t detract from the film much, but it just makes Kevin look kinda cuckolded to cast her.>> I&#39;m not gonna get into the improper use of "cuckolded", but what can I say? She&#39;s my wife, I love her, and I like putting her in my flicks. I&#39;m barely a director, she&#39;s barely an actress. It makes sense. << But I guess David Mamet does the same thing and his wife is a really bad actress. I guess there are worse people to be grouped together with than Mamet, especially if you pride yourself on being a wordsmith.>> We two are in love anew.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, noon CST

    Kevin Smith won&#39;t prove himself to be a true AICN geek

    by seppukudkurosawa

    until he posts on a talkback that doesn&#39;t have his name in the title. Reminds me of an article I once read about him, "The one thing Mr. Smith likes to do more than talk about himself is read about himself". I suppose that would be the single greatest trapping of fame.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:01 p.m. CST

    On bended knee...

    by KevinSmith

    <<Mr. Kevin Smoth, my name is Umagaa Ombongo, and I am Vice-President of a bank in Nigeria and I have a proposition for you that could make you 17.7 BILLION!!! by Agent Alonzo Wait, damn he has gone? I was sure this scam would work... OK, back to the drawing board...>> Sir, I know if you&#39;ve read some of the posts in this thread, the following compliment won&#39;t mean much to you. However, here it is: that was the funniest post I&#39;ve ever read at AICN. Comedy gold. I&#39;m stealing it and shooting it in nothing other than a static two-shot. That being said, I&#39;m off to work. New "Train Wreck" shorts just went up this morning at Check &#39;em out, if you&#39;ve got the time. Again - apologies for the posts I didn&#39;t get to, but keep hope alive! My goal (no, it&#39;s not to make a better looking or original movie, silly; I always aim much lower) is to make this the longest thread in AICN history. I realize that in the realm of the "Rings", this may not come to pass, but a guy&#39;s gotta dream...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    The first Kevin Smith movie I saw...

    by zer0cool2k2

    ...was Mallrats, and I really dug it. Maybe not seeing Clerks first helped, but I really thougnt Mallrats was a good flick. Then I saw Chasing Amy, which is still my favorite KS flick. (The utter hotness of Joey Lauren Adams didn&#39;t hurt). I followed that up with Clerks, and laughed my ass off. I loved Dogma, and still don&#39;t see how anyone could say it&#39;s anti-religion. That line about having a good idea might be one of the best takes on christianity ever. J&SBSB was a love letter to those characters and their fans, and funny as hell. I don&#39;t get the hate for Jersey Girl and/or Affleck. I still want to see Kevin make a flick with Ben playing Bruce the Shark from Jaws.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:03 p.m. CST

    "My goal (no, it&#39;s not to make a better looking or original

    by MasterWhedon

    Kevin Smith vs. The Aquf@g! It&#39;s on!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:04 p.m. CST

    What do I win?! What do I win?!?

    by KevinSmith

    The respect of seppukudkurosawa, I hope. Alright, I&#39;m really going. Bye.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Opie and Anthony.

    by Ole Gravy Leg

    I love you for your past recognition of O&A, Mr.Smith. That thing on Howard Stern&#39;s message board was classic. You do great work. Peace.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:08 p.m. CST

    KS, I enjoy your movies

    by cromulent


  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Finally it is revealed Kevin Smith is TrevorFactor

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    or one of those other fags from the Aquaf@g talkback. I can&#39;t wait for all the witty banter to ensue. BTW...does anybody else miss Tonay, b/c I do :(

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Kevin You&#39;ve Earnt my Respect

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Not through making some of the most entertaing films ever, not through your often genius scripts, and not for having a fine-ass wife. But through posting on a talkback without your name on. That is the one thing that I respect. Talent shmallent.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Smith makes me laugh

    by StubePT

    I like to think of a Kevin Smith films as "Indie comedies". Most pretenscious Indie directors make thier low-budget, coming-of-age, questioning-their-sexuality dramas in the hope of getting noticed for their "art". Kevin Smith makes those same kinds of films, only with dick and fart jokes. And he does it because it&#39;s fun. I really like Smith&#39;s writing style (it became the basis of my writing style, albeit obviously less successful for me). I think Smith&#39;s direction is just fine. That said, he needs to hire a cinematographer and an editor that aren&#39;t part of his crew of usual suspects and will stand up to him when things don&#39;t work. For every Smith film, there are so many great jokes and so many jokes that absolutely, positively bomb. And when a film feels 20 minutes too long (as almost all of Smith&#39;s films do) you know what can get cut right away. Sadily, I&#39;m stuck in Cincinnati, Ohio, the furthest point from the mecca of filmmaking - and I&#39;m married - so my dream of being a film editor will never come to fruition. Unless you want to hire me, Kevin? Hell, I&#39;ll go back and edit Chasing Amy to make it tighter if you want me to try out. In any case, that&#39;s my opinion. Keep up the good work because, like I said, it makes me laugh and it entertains me and that&#39;s all I really care about.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:14 p.m. CST

    And also you I&#39;d imagine you can spell the word entertaining

    by seppukudkurosawa

    something I could never do in my wildest dreams.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Advice for future posts: don&#39;t try and correct your typos.

    by seppukudkurosawa

    you&#39;ll only fuck up some more.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Damn, I really wanted him to talk about Trot Duffy&#39;s `inner

    by Pumpkinsboy

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST

    I meant Troy Duffy, not Trot, who is of course Troy&#39;s less h

    by Pumpkinsboy

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    by Goatboy

    I don&#39;t understand why go to the bother of posting ounces of vitriol and expending those valuable neurons to say how much you dislike a guy. And last time I checked, the 2001 "You must watch his movies" law hasn&#39;t been passed, so guess how you avoid the "shitty movies" from a "fat-fuck with a big-eared wife"? Personally I&#39;m 100% a fanboy of Smith. Mallrats made me laugh outloud watching it by myself, and that&#39;s an honour only afforded to The Cannonball Run, Trading Places & that movie with the basketball-playing Alsation (that might be an in-my-head film though). What&#39;s really funny is some of you hate him so much your face is red and he probably couldn&#39;t give a sugared fuck. So kudos to Smith, his big-eared wife, his bed-smell Mewes and all the Askewniversians. Oh, and Whedon writes scripts like Charly Gordon. Ooooooh no I didn&#39;t....

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Crap, thats what I get for sleeping, I missed Kevin.

    by Shermdawg

    How about getting Mewes on here, if anyone could talk more shit than your common talkbacker, it&#39;s him!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:44 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    Will Clerks 2 make more cash in its opening weekend than Serenity? I wonder how many people stayed glued to this site instead of going to see it, this past weekend. I better shut up before someone starts blaming Kev for it bombing.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Damn, Harry, I Was Gonna Do The I&#39;m Kevin Smith Thing.

    by Buzz Maverik

    Actually, I like Kevin Smith and his movies and all that, but I think I&#39;d rather everyone think I was Steven Soderbergh or Cameron Crowe. Or Shane Black. I&#39;d definitely like everyone to think I was Shane Black. Or Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez. You guys could think I&#39;m those guys. Nah, the guy I really admire is Shane Black, a man who&#39;s screenplays have never been done justice on film (although some good movies have been made from Black&#39;s writing). So, until further notice, as far as you know (or until the real Shane Black shows up) I&#39;m Shane Black.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Kevin, does Jason L ever bring up Scientology around you?

    by Doom II

    I assume he does since Scientologists are VERY pushy. I love Jason, but FUCK ME RUNNING!!!Scientology? WTF is that all about. He seems like smart guy with a great company (Stereo), a hot wife and beautiful son....WHY OH WHY JASON????!!!!Oh yeah, speaking of hoodoo sci-fi religious fanatics, Tom Cruise STILL hasn&#39;t ever had sex with a woman (his kids are adopted BTW). He will now sue me for 2.5 million dollars because HE IS NOT GAY! No , seriously, Tom Cruise looves woman! He was married. TWICE. In fact he will soon wed Katie Holmes. The marriage will take place exactly the same week that Mission Impossible 3 is released. Total coincidence though. Oh yeah, for the record, Tom Cruise IS NOT GAY! My sister is dating a (very)famous actor right now (no fucking way will I say who) and even HE says Tom Cruise is a well know closet pole-smoker. I better get my credit cards in order as Tom Cruise will now sue me into oblivion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 12:54 p.m. CST

    was jersey girl any good?

    by reckni

    I never managed to see the so-called brilliant and riveting Jersey Girl (my bad), but I&#39;ve seen these: Clerks=B+ Mallrats=C+ Chasing Amy=A Dogma=F Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back=D- I&#39;m holding out hope that Mr. Smith can get back on track and move away from recent garbage infiltrating megaplexes. There&#39;s so much potential within your brain Mr. Smith, and I&#39;m praying that returning to Clerks isn&#39;t a step backwards. Good luck, or good-bye.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST

    I hate to say it Kevin, but your wife will leave you once all th

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Big eared women are known for their promiscuity and stinky vaginal discharge.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Leave my twin alone!

    by Buddapest

    And if you mess with Moriarty, leave him alone, too! We&#39;re Cylon clones, like on Battlestar Galactica!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:06 p.m. CST

    "Stinky Vaginal Discharge"

    by cromulent

    That&#39;s the name of my next children&#39;s book.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:09 p.m. CST

    What the hell . . .

    by Movietool

    "I am the clit commander!" made me laugh until a little pee came out. Just thought you should know.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Kevin are you still friends with Affleck

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    even though he ruined any chance of Jersey Girl succeeding with all the Bennifer bullshit? I&#39;d be pissed too if my friend brought down my career with his.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:39 p.m. CST


    by vinceklortho

    man, I&#39;ve been gone all this weekend and I just found this shit out! Had to make my say about Kevin Smith. So, Shannon she kinda freaky in real life? Like freaky sexy kinda like? A bet Eliza Dushku is though, right?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Mr.K.Smith esq.,Get some more fuckin&#39; wallpapers on Viewaske

    by The True Priapic

    oh,and I bought a Jay and Bob doll set years ago and when I took a girl back to my flat she was so fucking disgused with the free Walt Flanagans dog that came with a fucking ENORMOUS cock that I didn&#39;t get any.I actually caved in and said it wasn&#39;t mine.The Bob doll got nicked at a party we had.You ruined my love life,Smith!!That Bob doll cost me a bomb as well seeing I was a student!!Dang you,Smith!!!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Doin&#39; My Part

    by ScottishCynic

    Kevin Smith says he wants this TalkBack to be the longest in AICN history. I feel like I owe it to the man to help him achieve the goal by posting here, increasing the amount of replies by one. It&#39;s like the old fable of the boy who wanted to buy his mother a very special gift. He journeyed for days and days until he came to the beach, where he took a single shell and returned home. His mother wondered why he went so far for such a small gift. The boy replied "Mother, the journey was part of the gift". I have no idea what this has to do with anything, but I heard that story on Home Improvement and that Al guy who presented Family Feud kinda looked like Kevin Smith. Well, he&#39;s fat with a dark beard. Do I win fellatio? I prefer the term FELLATIO, it sounds so much more classy. It could almost be a European sports car. THE FELLATIO.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 1:58 p.m. CST

    The cunnilingus would sound like an even better sports car

    by seppukudkurosawa

    with this one slight improvement: cunning lingus. "Drifting around that curve with the effortless charm of a sleek, silver phallic love machine is the...cunning lingus"

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 2:06 p.m. CST

    I implore you, Mr. Smith...

    by patient37

    ...don&#39;t ever post on these forums again. I&#39;ve always felt you were a stand up guy for staying on your side of the whole gum-flapping internet forum game, and letting the gaggle of naysaying idiots stay in theirs, but coming into their playground and starting shit just kind of brings you down. I&#39;m a realist. I understand that the cracks about your wife (and shit, most of the other ones for that matter) were pretty low, but you&#39;re better than that. Dignity, man. Dignity.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 2:18 p.m. CST


    by coldreboot

    ..for what they really are. Jersey Girl was ok. I&#39;ve had to endure teen rom-coms a hell of a lot worse (Never been kissed? She&#39;s all that? etc etc). Dogma for me was his best flick. If I wanted a sequel to something it would be that. Although I think he should employ that element of comedy in other mythical genres. A werewolf/vampire movie in the same style? Instant box office hit. Again, well done KS for putting the spotlight on the nob jockeys. What&#39;s with all the attacks on his weight anyway? i&#39;m from the UK and as far as I&#39;m concenred his practically fucking anorexic compared to most of you over that side of the pond. Move to the UK Mr. Smith, we like you here.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Agent Alonzo

    by DocPazuzu

    Props, dude. Your original post was a total morning-coffee-through-my-noser when I read it. I laughed my ass off. My dad and I actually have a sort of ritual where we send the latest version of that scam to each other every week in order to elicit laughs. Extra props for getting a major blessing from our celeb talkbacker de jour.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:26 p.m. CST

    So.. what&#39;s up Kevin?

    by Bean_

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Why is it assumed that if you flame somebody on an AICN talkback

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    The idiots over at have got to be the biggest f&#39;ing complainers I have ever met. "wah, the people at AICN made fun of Jen&#39;s ears, what a bunch of a-holes we should bash their heads in with chairs" I thought that people on this board were sucking Kevin Smith&#39;s dick, but those assholes just continually keep on blowing him...and no Smith did not "own" us with his witty comebacks. Yes it was quite interesting to see a "celeb" on the talkbacks with us, but they seem to think that we are cowering under our desks now that the might Kevin Smith talked to us. He directs movies and writes comics. Thats great for him, but that doesn&#39;t mean I should get down on my knees b/c he graces us w/ his presence.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Talkback chimps

    by joeydoo

    That&#39;s funny. I can see chimps jumping and going "UUU UUUUUU HHHHHHAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA UUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA PERRR PERRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (SMASH!!! ~ keyboard shatters ~ keys flying........ talkbacker starts eating keys[baby investigative style]) Chimp speak/behaviour is difficult to write, but in my head it flows like wine. If you need a future chimp(talkbacker) part imagining out kevin, I am your man ;)

  • that poor girl!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Is it true a chick farts when you blast her in the ass?

    by Moe Ron

    Or something like that. Look, Kevin, despite all the stink I think you have talent, but we all would like to see you play with the camera a little bit more. Be adventurous! Quit listening to assholes on the internet. Right now it&#39;s cool not to like you or your movies, but surprise the shit out of all of us. That&#39;s where the vitriol comes from. After Dogma, which no matter what anyone says was one of the top five movies of 99, we wanted more than Strikes Back. Which is stupid, because you don&#39;t owe us shit.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST

    I saw Mallrats the first time before going to a party with The U

    by The True Priapic

    I remember MALLRATS and a few cans of beer when a friend asked me to go on a double date to a party with him.I was single so I thought "what could go wrong?"and I was in a great mood..Somebody should have told me "Everything!"We arrived at the house to see the &#39;hostess&#39; being carried up stairs drunk out of her fucking mind and incapable of speech.My friend said the girls would be in the garden so we walked through the house finding on our way a guy spreading Jam all over the walls and another guy pouring petrol all over the washing line and trying to light it.We met the girls but it was dark as so,even to this day,I have no sure memory of how ugly she was but my friend went off to a dark corner of the garden and lay down with his date.I was left with the sudden realisation my date was ripped to the tits on drink and drugs.Great.She then said we should climb up onto the roof of the house so we could be alone."Ho Ho" I thought only to see her climb up onto the second story roof by way of the drainpipe and then proceed to stagger dizzily on the ledge(I swear this seemed to happen in slow motion)The inevitable happened and she fell rag doll like to the floor.Utterly stunned,I couldn&#39;t believe the state she was in.Covered in blood and spit,with stones from the path she seemed nonplussed and grabbed me sticking he rancid tongue down my throat."I&#39;m gonna get help!"I told her and ran over to my mate who was none too happy to be interrupted mid-coitus.He said not to worry,have a beer.But what happened next was simply put fucking bizarre.The guy I&#39;d seen trying to light the washing came over,said laughing to my mate "What&#39;re you doing with THAT fucking Dog!"At which point this girl,knickers round her ankles,got up and slapped him round the face.This guy,without a moments hesitation,punched her straight in the nose knocking her back in to the bushes.She gets up screaming.Her nose is bleeding everywhere and she&#39;s absolutely covered in nettle stings.She staggers over to her friend who&#39;s fallen off the roof bawling.I look at my mate and he&#39;s looking at me.Utter disbelief on each face.We leave the party immediately,creeping out in total silence.As soon as we got a safe distance away,I guess it was the stress and shock,in total and mutual tandem just broke up screaming and howling with laughter.There were no words.Simply unbelievable......KEVIN SMITH,I BLAME YOU making Mallrats longer and thereby saving me this memory.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:39 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Fucking HUGE props for stepping into this particular rat pit and taking on the homuncufrankensteinulous beasts known as TalkBackers on their own turf. When I witnessed the brutal slaughter of the guy I only remember as "the science expert behind The Core" when said brainiac (term used lightly) decided to defend his efforts in a TalkBack a few years ago, I felt an emotion consisting of revulsion at the sheer mind-boggling brutality of his public flaying, but at the same time a somewhat guilty glee at seeing his hubris being so mercilessly crushed. At the same time, considering my contempt for most TalkBackers, I also felt a strange yearning to live long enough to experience the day when a celeb who knows how to speak geek steps up to the plate and fucks the TB haters over. Hard. Despite my trepidation at hearing about your decision to wade into the enemy&#39;s ranks, I must say that I&#39;ve so far been VERY pleased with the ease with which you&#39;ve made so many previously implacable AICN haters your bitches. In case this seems like so much dick-sucking to said despised TalkBackers, let me at the same time say that despite the brilliance that rests at the core of Chasing Amy in terms of just about everything, the presence of the entity known in this dimension as Joey Lauren Adams makes it thoroughly impossible for me to give the film the highest marks I possibly can (and want to). I wish I could, but the woman&#39;s like the Jar Jar Binks of the View Askewniverse. Apart from that, I love your work to death, and I want to love Chasing Amy more than them all, but she&#39;s just too difficult to like. That having been said, I&#39;m very much looking forward to Clerks 2. Bring it on. Fuck the haters.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Has anybody said that there are 2 new journal thingys

    by joeydoo

    I can&#39;t be bothered to comb back through posts. So there are two more videos.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Kevin and Jason showing up at your door

    by K-pobuibo

    I would PAY to see that. Perhaps Harry can supply Kevin with the appropriate addresses so we can get the project off the ground! I feel my IQ level dropping just a little bit more every time I come here.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Isn&#39;t Harvey Weinstein........

    by joeydoo

    that bloke out of curb your enthusiasm.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the good times Kevin Smith.

    by antonphd

    I&#39;m taking it upon myself to speak for all of the closet normal people who really enjoy your movies. We don&#39;t explain or apologize for why we enjoy your films. We just enjoy them and tell our friends that they should watch them because they will have a good time. Smart and Smart-ass is how I think of your films. You seem to have something to say while at the same time know that the first thing about knowing is that you don&#39;t know much. I like that. You speak for more of us than you probably know. Someday we will remember you along with greats such as the Simpsons and Lewis Carrol and Mozart. Good job. Stay brave and humble. - And hurry up and get us a Jay and Silent Bob game. What is the hold up? I want to play a PS3 or XBOX 360 game with your characters. That would kick some serious ass. If you don&#39;t hurry up and do it soon... I&#39;m just going to have to do it myself. Then I will get sued. I will be forced to lie in court to protect myself. I&#39;ll get caught. I&#39;ll go to jail. I&#39;ll be forced to engage in ass fucking and/or cock sucking. I don&#39;t like to ass fuck or cock suck. I haven&#39;t ever tried it, but I did have a rectal exam in the Navy when I went to the doctor with a stomach ache and I didn&#39;t enjoy that at all.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Funniest. Talkback. Ever

    by PR_GMR

    Kevin Smith pwns the haters. You go, Kevin! Can&#39;t wait for Clerks 2.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Talkback crap game

    by The_Bat

    Read the thread and I do empathize with Kevin

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Lets get this Alba thing right!

    by Krazeyivan

    Hold it!! Everyone (thats me) knows that Alba and Jolie talking for 20 mins is a great idea. But your forgetting Kristen Kreuk! She has to be in the middle the fought over play thing! Come on lets do this right. Oh best thing about kevin smith films the word (Jay) - neuge! How is that spelt exactly, always wondered??

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:31 p.m. CST

    What was funniest about The Core guy debacle...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...was that there actually were TalkBackers who knew more about physics and astronomy than he did, and not only ass-raped him, but ass-raped him on his own supposed turf. Publically. Very painful indeed. *shudders*

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:53 p.m. CST

    I have come here to chew bubblegum and

    by athenabodicea

    to make this the longest thread in AICN history.... And I&#39;m all out of bubblegum...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:54 p.m. CST

    you people... tut tut

    by PaddyO'Neill

    Everyone I&#39;ve read a post from in here, including the hack director, has caused me to lose what little respect I may have had for American &#39;intelligence&#39;. You fellas should all be deeply ashamed of yourselves for wasting so much time on cheap shots and childish insults like this. For shame America, for shame... p.s. Mr Smith, in your rebuttal on your own forum, you posted a couple of pictures of your wife. In the second one, what was with her freaky pasty stomach? Did she have a nip and tuck or something? Because I don&#39;t really think she&#39;s the one that needs it *hinthint*

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:56 p.m. CST

    What Kevin Smith wants...

    by athenabodicea

    He shall get... A guy&#39;s gotta dream and then there&#39;s those of us who give a little hand in helping those dreams come true... Hey, instead of fluffing maybe we should say "spraying jizz".... Ok then... Who&#39;s with me???? :)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Just reading the post titles..

    by Terminator

    Damn, do you guys kiss alot of ass.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:59 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You were always too good for the Unmentionable TalkBack. Why squander your geek cred on such shit when it must be obvious - even to you - that you&#39;re destined for bigger and better things?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:04 p.m. CST

    is that aftershave I smell DocPazuzu?

    by Flummage

    fetching. ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Thanks Doc...

    by athenabodicea

    I really couldn&#39;t resist though... I just love Kevin Smiths work.. And he seems to be a really cool guy... I have only posted a few things here but I have been reading it all and it&#39;s funny shit....

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:16 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m in athena!

    by trevorfactor

    I gotta tell ya, this day has been f&#39;ing excellent! I just found out my employer was stealing money from this company we sell for, right. So I get a call today from the owner of that company and he&#39;s recuiting me because of the work I&#39;ve done. I get a raise and have moved up a couple steps on the ladder. Anyway I didn&#39;t get a chance to be here to much today but then I come here and see someone actually accussed me of being KS and well that was great! good luck getting the smile off my face. Kevin (if you&#39;re reading this) I apologize in advance for any of the people who spew hatred on your t/b because I&#39;m here I&#39;ll do my best to ignore them. I&#39;m here with the "aquaf@g make a wish foundation" we&#39;ve come to make your dream a reality buddy :)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:16 p.m. CST

    What&#39;s up Flumm???

    by athenabodicea

    And stop hitting on all the guys... You&#39;re not leaving any for me... jk lol... But that is nice cologne Doc..

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Mr. Smith

    by LeckoManiac

    I love and adore your movies, (yes even jersey girl, I mean it had its moments), I think its great to be able to talk to you through a forum such as this. It was your movies that got me into film, thanks.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Dogma ...

    by trevorfactor

    was playing at this small theatre in my hometown, right? and all these bible thumpers would stand outside the theatre giving crap to the people who were buying tickets to see Dogma. Being in my early 20s and bored as hell me and some friends decided to sneak up a fire escape the roof of the theatre and throw shit at the protestors. Never got caught either. You&#39;re movies are great, but I&#39;m being honest when I say I bought Jersey Girl without having seen it, and it was ok but I&#39;m not going to watching it as often as I do Dogma or Mallrats, I&#39;m just being honest

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:28 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Yes, the Ricci comment was funny. In fact, most of your input in the Unmentionable Talkback has been quite clever and entertaining. I&#39;d have implored you to apply yourself elsewhere as I have AthBod, but - well - where would that have left my already faltering AthBod-flirting cred, dude? Now that&#39;s a hint-and-a-half for your sorry ass, Flumm. Jump ship while you can.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:30 p.m. CST

    ...Bette Midler...

    by Flummage

    ...cmon guys! ...1! ...2! ...3! ...DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU&#39;RE MY HEROOOO, ...blah blah... WIND BENEEEATH MYYYY WIIIIINGS!..... *looks around*...oh.. just me then? My bad.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Hey Trev...

    by athenabodicea

    I don&#39;t really think Kevin needs our muscles since he has done a great job getting his own back.. But if anyone says another thing about his wife, I am all over it... I can&#39;t stand it when people try to make themselves look better by pointing out the flaws in others... I think KS said it best when he wrote "You put anything out there, some folks are gonna like it, some folks are gonna hate it, and some folks will be indifferent. But my feeling is that if some folks feel they have the right to try to be clever in a negative way at my expense in their little corner of the &#39;net, then don&#39;t I also have the right to do the same, at their expense? I mean, fair&#39;s fair. It&#39;s just funny how quickly the tables turn, and I&#39;m portrayed as the loser for caring/responding, when they launched the opening salvo. In any event, it&#39;s all fun and games. When the shit dies down, I&#39;m still me, and they&#39;re still them. And I know how fulfilled I am with what I do and who I am; just wonder if they feel the same way about themselves. I&#39;m betting no."

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Harry about that UNpost button, could you hurry up a bit please

    by trevorfactor

    I shouldn&#39;t give mr. smith crap about jersey girl because it&#39;s much better than a lot of other waste of time movies out there, so .... my bad Mr. Smith *turns to harry and talks out of the side of his mouth* go ahead and delete that one for me, would ya buddy?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:37 p.m. CST

    So.... The Passion trailer....

    by athenabodicea

    I didn&#39;t really get it since he just used footage from the first movie... But KS said to give him a few weeks and he&#39;ll have some new footage to puy in there... Does anyone know how the sequel is going to go?? Is he using the same characters??? Same stores??? I think he should use his comic store ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:38 p.m. CST

    People need to get off Harley Quinn&#39;s kool-aid

    by _Kayser_

    Hey Kev, You must&#39;ve really started a trend with your daughter&#39;s name in Hollywood. From Jason "Pilot Inspektor" Lee to Gweneth&#39;s "Apple Whiny Coldplay" child and now Kal-El Coppola Cage. I&#39;m just waiting for Bryan Singer to adopt a kid and name it Zod and watch it tell Kal-El to kneel before him. What ever happened to good names like Adolph and Ghengis? I guess dorkdom has finally won. You&#39;re still pissed Singer got Superman aren&#39;t you?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:43 p.m. CST

    "It&#39;s just funny how quickly the tables turn, and I&#39;m po

    by DocPazuzu

    I know... You&#39;re just so fucking EARNEST, aren&#39;t you, fevertractor? You&#39;re actually fettastic, aren&#39;t you? Just admit it. C&#39;mon, just do it. You know you want to. Throw away the chickenshit gun. "You vant to stick da knife in me... and see vhat&#39;s goink on in my eyes vhen you teurn eet... C&#39;mon... let&#39;s potty!"

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:45 p.m. CST


    by athenabodicea

    Yes I have been to viewaskew... I actually purchased my bobbleheads there... I love his merchandise... I really am a freak about collecting characters from my favorite movies etc... I&#39;ve got Lara Croft before the movies came out (from the video game).. I have spiderman... Jay & Silent Bob and Buddy Christ... I have Wonderwoman.... Austin Powers.. the list goes on and on...Some day I will need a room for all my comics, movies and other parphernalia ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:50 p.m. CST

    But I have not ever gone onto the forum there....

    by athenabodicea

    I have always gone to different websites but I only read... This is actually the first site I ever posted a tb on... I have always loved reading Harry&#39;s news... But have to admit, since I&#39;ve started posting, I don&#39;t read as much as I used to...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:51 p.m. CST


    by trevorfactor

    look babe, you and I may not have gotten along very well but I&#39;m not trying to bring any BS here, so come on with your come on, if you feel you have to. but you WILL be ignored. Or you could not let what&#39;s water under the bridge be the only thing you harp on and actually try to be nice, but be warned if you do this you may find me to actually not be the bad guy you are so mind bent on believing I am. BTW happy birthday buddy sorry I missed it, works been crazy and I don&#39;t have a additional excuse here)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Yeah athena, stop thinking about yourself for a change...

    by Flummage

    ...where is DocPazuzu gonna sleep? :P

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:54 p.m. CST

    "Adieu! Adieu! To you, and you, and you!"

    by JohnNada

    Wow! You&#39;re quoting British sitcom Bottom, I never thought I&#39;d see the day!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Let me put it this way:

    by mortsleam

    When I saw Clerks, I was working as a clerk at a convenience store. I loved it. When I saw Chasing Amy, I had recently had an awkward semi-relationship with a lesbian. I loved it. When I saw Jay & Silent Bob, I was damn sick of the idiots on this site (and believe me, it

  • Is there some sort of hidden surrealistic insult in there which I&#39;m unaware of? That made absolutely no sense whatsoever. If you were going to put me down, fevertractor/fettastic, I was sort of hoping it would at least have been in the realm of semi-coherence so that I may have had an opportunity to respond -- you know, like an insult aimed at the test page for my web site which I never actually constructed, much less got off the ground. Then again, maybe it was the lack of a response which you were hoping for.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:01 p.m. CST

    IPAMPILASH Flumm...

    by athenabodicea

    You will all have a place with my favorite characters in the special room (once someone makes the Unmentionable Tb into a movie & the bobblehead characters are for sale)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:03 p.m. CST


    by athenabodicea

    That was also done on a Family Guy episode.... And Stewie was "Little Liesel" (sp?)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Why didn&#39;t Kevin single me out?

    by Orionsangels

    I&#39;m special, haha

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:08 p.m. CST

    no I was pretty sure you would respond :)

    by trevorfactor

    though I don&#39;t understand why you would wish to rehash an arguement from several weeks ago. So for today you and me are cool in my book. let it go babe

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:11 p.m. CST


    by MrBoinfoint

    You&#39;ve been here all along, haven&#39;t you? You&#39;re moviemack, and moviemack is you! AGH! ADMIT IT! ~~~ sorry, i got nothin bad to say about him. i just wanned ta join in the dogpile.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:12 p.m. CST


    by Flummage

    Well when they&#39;re making the movie, just as long as they don&#39;t get the "Unmentionable TB", mixed up with the "UnmentionableS TB", I don&#39;t want my bobblehead character beeing a giant pair of testicles or something. Somehow I don&#39;t think you&#39;d want that in your collection.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:12 p.m. CST

    "Nada, he&#39;s actually quoted The Sound Of Music"

    by JohnNada

    he&#39;s actually "quoted" The Sound of Music eh? haha, I&#39;d re-read that then check who you&#39;re calling a pecker in future. :P Yes, it&#39;s from that movie, but as I recall it&#39;s only said with the three you&#39;s in Bottom. As for the guy who said Family Guy, I think you&#39;ll find Bottom has been around ever so slighty longer. ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:14 p.m. CST


    by athenabodicea

    First of all I am not a guy.... Second of all I am not stupid and C)duh.... ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:16 p.m. CST


    by JohnNada

    First of all I&#39;m sorry for my assumption, I didn&#39;t really read your username.... Second of all I never suggested you were stupid and C)duh...yourself ;)

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Giant bobble head balls....

    by athenabodicea

    I love it.. Instead of the head bobbling the balls could just swing back n forth... Now that would look great on my

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:18 p.m. CST

    lmao flum

    by trevorfactor

    btw johnnada that&#39;s a lady not a guy see the vagina? you think maybe the name would have given it away

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:20 p.m. CST

    Whoa Whoa Whoa there Trev......

    by athenabodicea

    I prefer to call it my taco or clenching clam of pleasure....

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:22 p.m. CST

    maybe we&#39;re getting a little bit off topic here *finds it ha

    by trevorfactor

    hot damn athena lmao

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:23 p.m. CST

    "let it go babe"

    by DocPazuzu

    The implication of that statement is that your sweaty, grease-and-semen-encrusted finger is resting on a trigger of some sort - a trigger which if I were so foolish to scoff at, would at your behest unleash a punishing flurry of cyber-destruction upon my poor pointed head, humiliating me before all and sundry within this humble, august community. I can&#39;t even begin to describe how intimidated I am by that truly blood-freezing possibility. Still - I&#39;m going to have to go ahead and call you a twat, fevertractor/fettastic, yeah... Twat-twattily-twat-twat. *ducks in a fit of inhuman, mind-bending terror*

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:23 p.m. CST

    If I were evil...

    by Flummage

    ...I could post a "News Just In: Athena loves giant balls!!! Exclusive Scandalous Confession Inside!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!" type thing. But I&#39;m not. And all this bollock related talk is making me uncomfortable ..*..lowers his boxer shorts a few centimeters, and tugs them to the right...*... ahh thats better. Phew. Now were where we...?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:29 p.m. CST

    That would be big hairless balls Flumm..

    by athenabodicea

    As if everyone inside isnt already rading this tb...Lol.... jk don&#39;t do it man.... Else you&#39;ll be swimmin wit da fishes... lol

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:29 p.m. CST

    If nothing else Pazuzu

    by Flummage

    ...I have to acknowledge the fact that you legitamately used the word "behest" in an AICN TB. Not a common feat. On the other hand, guys, none of us can be bothered with the arguement stuff... let us stickk to balls and Bette Middler if we can. And Kevin Smith. He&#39;s in the mix there somewhere too. Ahem. *shudders*

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:30 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...when reading the latest posts here (including my own), it&#39;s occurred to me that the hideous touchy-feely aquaf@ggers have taken over this TB as well. That seals it for me - one TalkBack, goodbye.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Re: JohnNada

    by onefalsemove

    Watch the fucking movie, Nada! It is said three times, and was released way before the extremely surreal Bottom.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:38 p.m. CST

    bye docpazuzu, hope to see you again soon big guy.

    by trevorfactor

    I don&#39;t know where mr. smith lives but maybe once the kids are in bed he&#39;ll be back. Then again Superman 2 is on tonight, which I don&#39;t know about you guys....

  • Don&#39;t you at least want me to understand your insults? Or maybe that&#39;s the insult - me not getting what you&#39;re saying? Knock yourself out, chief. Adios.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:46 p.m. CST

    wrong quote, wrong post.

    by DocPazuzu

    What I MEANT to say was.... oh, fuck it, I&#39;m too tired. Goodnight.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:47 p.m. CST


    by athenabodicea

    Why such animosity??? The "Aquaf@ggers" that are here right now are not being "touchy feely"... Why so much hate man... It&#39;s been said before and I&#39;ll say it again "Why can&#39;t we all just get along?".... And Doc, how can you welcome me one second and then group me into the reason you are leaving???

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:48 p.m. CST

    wrong quote, wrong post.

    by DocPazuzu

    What I MEANT to say was.... oh, fuck it, I&#39;m too tired. Goodnight.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:53 p.m. CST

    hey doc drinking and posting don&#39;t mix

    by trevorfactor

    always have a designated proof reader handy when drinking and posting.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:53 p.m. CST

    What in Kevin&#39;s name have you done to this talkback?

    by seppukudkurosawa

    You&#39;ve Aqu@fucked it up!

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:59 p.m. CST

    seppuk did you not get that memo

    by trevorfactor

    we&#39;re here with the "aquaf@g make wish foundation" and Kevin will get his wish, ow yes he&#39;ll get his wish

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8 p.m. CST

    Endless wall of words.

    by Neosamurai85

    Are people still reading... it&#39;s like drunken sticky notes on a dead russian novelist&#39;s refrigerator. Who so brave would dare try and read it all. OH and nice of Smith to come back. Will we be having more fun tomarrow? Pwace.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 8:48 p.m. CST

    I miss christopher reeves

    by trevorfactor

    I wish he could have made it to make a cameo in Superman Returns, he was an amazing actor. And his poor wife geting cancer right after he dies, damn you cancer DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!! and damn it there goes my good mood *leaves to get some tissues*

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Me too...

    by athenabodicea

    But we still got bluntman & chronic...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:20 p.m. CST

    He really was a great actor...

    by athenabodicea

    Has anyone seen Somewhere in time??? He was so young and handsome then... And just ike that (poof-gone).... It&#39;s definitely gonna be wierd seeing someone new playing Superman... I think that new guy they got is so overacting in his posing... He just looks soooo cheesy to me... But, I&#39;ll wait until I see it to cast judgement...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:20 p.m. CST


    by Nairb The Movie

    Hey Kevin... What are your parents names and eye colors? Nairb

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Hey Kev-man!

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    Except for Dogma, I like all of your movies. That&#39;s a pretty good track record in my book. Hey, can I send you a free CD/DVD that our little indie film operation created?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Yeah trev, I can tell you were a big fan of him...

    by Heywood Jablowme

    you didn&#39;t even spell his name right, dumbass. It&#39;s Christopher Reeve. It&#39;s guys like you that give fanboys a bad name. Now please retreat back to the "other" Talkback.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 9:58 p.m. CST

    I was going to read all of the posts...

    by Drworm2002

    ...then I thought, why bother? I just wanted Kevin to know (if he is still reading this) that me and my friends had Kevin Smith parties even before they ass monkeys knew who you were. I remember when Clerks came out. And when I heard about Mallrats I was like cool. Liked it but not as much as clerks. But fucking that was the shit. No fucking joke. Me and my roommates (who were 2 females...that

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 10:52 p.m. CST


    by ectocriminal

    what have you heard about the film version of doom? it&#39;s been my favortie game since its first incarnations and my latent homosexuality dares me not to go see anything with the rock in it, so what&#39;s the good word if you have a good test screenings yet is probably a bad thing though huh?

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 11:33 p.m. CST

    The real question is, will Clerks 2 be good?

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    Because Kevin, you did claim you weren&#39;t going to come back with the Jay and Silent Bob series, and were going to do other movies and comics. So can Clerks 2 be good? I think it can, if you think the script really is good enough. So I won&#39;t have faith, I won&#39;t believe, but I will have an idea it&#39;s good. Anyhoo, what&#39;s up with your support of Jay Leno? Can you possibly think Jay is funny? I mean, really? Did he help out your career in some way or something?

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 12:49 a.m. CST


    by Nairb The Movie


  • Oct. 4, 2005, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith

    by Itblowstherobot

    I&#39;m a big fan of Kevin Smith&#39;s, I think that he is probably the most fan accessible of the popular directors out there. Most of KS&#39;s contemporaries (by which I mean directors his age) all seem to be weirdly aloof and private (Wes Anderson, Sofia Coppolla, and Steve Sodderbergh). There are certain dudes who do write a lot of stuff, like PT Anderson and Vince Gallo (who may be Kevin Smith&#39;s polar opposite in terms of likability, modesty, and intelligence) do write stuff but tends to be angry and completely self serious (Gallo specifically redefines pretensious douche-baggery). Oh, and Kevin, I don&#39;t know if you&#39;ll get the comment, but I&#39;m down to 295.

  • "GREEN HORNET" should be a HOOT to make, for whomever really wants to direct it and actually gets the opportunity. (Wishful thinking, but I&#39;d take the job in a heartbeat, ...right after my wife and I consider family and health coverage and location and all that stuff.) There&#39;s that nice, GREEN MATRIX COAT (not a browncoat) and then you&#39;ve got the martial artist sidekick. It is stuff that&#39;s destined for an artistic eye. (I&#39;d eat it up.) Film it for less but with style, in existing locations. I&#39;ve always desired to involve the camera a bit more than the norm in fight scenes... but the Matrix Directing-Duo beat me to it, though only to SOME degree. C&#39;mon Kevin, I know why you&#39;re afraid. But have faith in people you work with and give them extra responsibility. And why couldn&#39;t you get the project off the ground, even if you have the option to PULL OUT at ANY time??? If you had such an option, you could stay with the project as long as you believe in it. When such a film is shaping up, with storyboards showing the vision ON PAPER before a single frame is shot, wouldn&#39;t that be enough??? You would feel the excitement from the people you work with. And you would feel the excitement from people like me. -- Or you could just go make a "GEEN ARROW" movie in your usual style, not that there&#39;s anything wrong with that. I&#39;d watch it.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3 a.m. CST


    by Darth Kong

    Make a film with a bunch of talkbackers involved? lol Kev&#39;s got enough problems dealing with studios, think he really needsa to get involved with a bunch of psychos like us? PS. Kev you rock. Everything about your career and life (yep, I read the diaries) is an inspiration. You sir, are the man.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:43 a.m. CST

    Darth Kong, the idea makes me laugh, too. But man, what a ride!

    by JDanielP

    Perhaps kevlar would be in order.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 5:15 a.m. CST

    The real issue with Smith

    by KCMOSHer

    Someone else may have broached this, God knows I can&#39;t be bothered to read every single word of you wordy motherfuckers, but I think there&#39;s a very good point to be made and a question to be asked here. Name me any other mainstream director who is apparently -interested- in what the general public thinks? Stinkburgers like Uwe Boll form fan sites for themselves and seem to be oblivious to just how much the public hate them. Even friendly, decent new guys like Eli Roth don&#39;t really seem to make any public effort to interact with the public in any forum beyond the standard autograph request or con appearance to pimp a new project. Smith is unique here, and I think a good question is...why? I believe he answered it himself: he&#39;s a fanboy that got lucky. I&#39;m sure he&#39;s been on &#39;our&#39; end of things when a fan-fave director or writer proceeds to lose track of all reality and does something really, really stupid. There&#39;s a reason why he was thought to be responsible for the &#39;Phantom Edit&#39; of Episode 1 many moons ago: it made sense. He fits the role of a defender of fandom. But since he&#39;s part of it...doesn&#39;t it make sense that he&#39;d also try to protect the public from himself? Make sure he isn&#39;t doing what his naysayers say he is? What better way than to dive in, make a bunch of self-deprecating cracks, and verify that indeed, his detractors are a bunch of immature chuckleheads with no real clue about life. He should be applauded for that, but I&#39;m writing this because I think he deserves to be UNDERSTOOD. Once we get it in perspective, this stops being a simple mutual masturbation session or Flame War Of The Stars (tm), we can see it for what it is: a guy who loves the kind of movies he makes who just wants to keep making those kinds of movies without letting himself or anything else cloud that and make it into &#39;teh suck&#39;. It&#39;s endearing, and more than a little noble, although I&#39;m sure he&#39;d deny it. The guy doesn&#39;t &#39;stretch&#39; because he wants to keep doing things well. He doesn&#39;t want to fail because he doesn&#39;t want to let himself down...and we&#39;re a projection of himself, the fanboy on the outside that he once was. So good for you, Smith old boy. From one beared, bespectacled fat man in his mid thirties to another, good on ya for actually -caring- about something in an industry that, in my experience, is chock full of people who don&#39;t give a shit about anything other than themselves.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Only thing I&#39;m worried about

    by SnowMann

    Is that he might actually start listening to you guys. After Jersey Girl, his deciding to drop out of Green Hornet and make Clerks 2 very much seemed like a response to fan-feedback, which is awesome, cause it shows you&#39;re listening, but when it is this garbage the fans have to say... My opinion is you should ignore all the pressuring Kevin, except when it comes to the title of your next movie, which is godawful. Other than that though, do what feels right for you, cause its worked great so far.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 6:30 a.m. CST

    JDanielP: "Kevin, about TAKING A CHANCE (if the studio wi

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Ooohhh oooh sorry, damn that was funny, get Kev to stump up an idea using us lot! *giggle* very can&#39;t control it....BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 6:37 a.m. CST

    All I hear is........

    by CyberBeavis1326

    "waaa waaa waaaa" from Kevin Smith in his postings, along with few praises for people kissing his ass. Kev, man, honestly, you made only a couple good movie. "Dogma" which was genius, and "Mallrats" which had some really good social commentary. Actually both movies did. I can&#39;t stand "Clerks", I just don&#39;t get it I guess. However, I can&#39;t knock you for it&#39;s amateurish feel, being your first movie, so it&#39;s a forgiveable and you were still learning. "Clerks" just isn&#39;t my type of movie. "Chasing Amy" seems ok, haven&#39;t watched it all, but it wasn&#39;t great, but watcheable. "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" was good the first time around, on repeat viewings it felt stale and forced. I admire some of your passion Kevin, but sometimes your rants and raves really annoy me, cause you act as if everything revolves around your geekiverse. I recently heard you walked from the "Fletch" movie. Good, I have to agree, you never seemed right for the project, but Jason Lee still does. The idiots that be won&#39;t see it. Now I&#39;m not totally knocking you Kevin, I&#39;m telling you straight as I see you. You&#39;re not at all a bad director or film geek, just kind of a misguided one. When you have something to say, it can be interesting when you put your mind to it, when you say something just for sake of talking, you become a bore. You&#39;re great at social commentary, keep that up, and you&#39;ll become a more intelligent director rising above the bland Mark Waters&#39; and despicable Uwe Boll&#39;s of the film world.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 7:08 a.m. CST

    Jason Lee is in that new show with Jaime Pressly!Holy Fuck!Lucky

    by The True Priapic

    Jason Lee,most underused class act in Hollywood.Fuck me,seeing him totally fucking out charisma Cruise in Vanilla Sky was cool.Don&#39;t think Hollywood knows what to do with him.Thank God Smith did.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Action not your forte?

    by Mister McClane

    Kevin Smith has said he&#39;s scared of shooting action scenes. Well I&#39;ve got a suggestion - why doesn&#39;t he create an effects company that can come up with all the action for him? Everybody else does it...!

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Mr. Smith, if your still there,

    by Colonel_Blimp

    do you have any interesting theories as to why Ben Affleck is so great in Chasing Amy yet pretty much sucks in everything else he&#39;s ever done? Keep up the good work, and feel free to visit us in Norway anytime!

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:13 a.m. CST

    heywood, I though you and I were friends? don&#39;t hate me beca

    by trevorfactor

    and colonel_blimp I believe Ben&#39;s performance probably has to do with the director&#39;s direction. Then again maybe you&#39;re being a bit harsh on Affleck. And true priapic you&#39;re not going to believe this but I agree with you about lee, except I would have mentioned his role in Dreamcatcher, fuck me freddy that was awesome.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:16 a.m. CST

    What Smith really needs to do

    by Seepgood

    Never use the word "pimp" as an adjective ever again. Seriously. It&#39;s embarrassing.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:20 a.m. CST


    by athenabodicea Kevin Smith&#39;s Roadside Attractions was first shown on Jay Leno... He has these shorts about the worst/strangest places to stop in America.. I remember seeing this on the Tonight Show... I love the KS cartoon head travelling across the map.. Anyway, if you go to the above link and scroll down to the bottom of the page, you can see all the Roadside attractions he did on the Tonight show... Its pretty funny shit..

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Also, anyone who owns Jersey Girl..

    by athenabodicea

    or goes to rent it in the near future... KS has the Roadside attractions as an extra on the dvd...

  • And if the GREEN HORNET has a nice car, then we must have a car wash crew. I guess our moms and our big-eared wives will have to do. "C&#39;mon, honey! Put your back into it! You&#39;re workin&#39; for BIG K., after all. And you wives aren&#39;t exempt, either!"

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Can anybody get these Aquaf@ggers out of here

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    This talkback was just getting interesting and now we have to file through all of their bullshit and I&#39;m tired of the fucking idiots who use the * and insert comment about what they are doing. **my name is trevorfactor and i am looking around and noticing that i have no friends and am on a talkback 12 hours of the day talking to my internet buddies b/c i have no life or real life friends**

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:41 a.m. CST

    I think a lot of people here....

    by athenabodicea

    need to really go to the view askew site and red up on KS before coming here and asking stupid shit or saying stupid shit about him... He is such a down to earth guy... He&#39;s so real... I mean What other director/actor would invite you into his "boring ass life"??? Sharing pictures of his home... his wedding... his graduation picture... Go read before you cast judgement...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:41 a.m. CST


    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    Ahhh....the old tradition of seeing how low you can go to get the attention of an established film director while trying to maintain your dignity can only find yourself getting into yet another AICN bitchslapfest that leads nowhere and makes us all look like a bunch of phony white skinned basement dwellers lookin for love from anyone we can drop the name of....well....I am here to save you all by showing that the only way to attention whore yourself out to the man is to SPREAD YOUR ASS CHEEKS WIDE OPEN AND SCREAM

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:54 a.m. CST


    by athenabodicea

    To bad you wasted all your breath screaming/singing in the above post... Now what will you do about your date tonight?? I guess you&#39;ll have to bring her down to the gas station, put your quarter in the air pump machine and carry her back to the house... That&#39;s of course assuming you can make it all the way home without stopping at your mother&#39;s for some lingerie to dress your, um..I mean date up in... ;) But just maybe it will all be worth it.. if only Kevin Smith will respond to you....

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:55 a.m. CST

    5 films... 5 questions... 0 peeps to answer..

    by Brit Pop

    1) CLERKS - was there any footage of Randall getting whacked? And who was the shooter? 2) MALLRATS - has Jeremy London ever found work again after? 3) CHASING AMY - <my film studies lecturer used to show us the Star Wars rant by Hooper X - duribg sci-fi class as the truest description of SW ever> Has George Lucas ever talked to you about that scene? 4) DOGMA - what it fun filming and editing the scene where Bethany leaps out of bed??!?? 5) JASBSB - <I once got hold of a crappy bootleg of this film in London WITH THE PRINCE SONG IN> Did you make the film and then got to ask Prince to use the song? And if so, was it a ballache to change?

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:04 a.m. CST

    road side attractions are funny as well, so is the kevin smith r

    by trevorfactor

    He&#39;s a genius! I also went to Howe Caverns in NY once and this kid pooped his pants on our tour. So we were all forced to breathe his stink until dad and one of the tour guides escorted him out ahead of the rest of the group, it was hysterical.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Hey... I went to Howe Carerns too..

    by athenabodicea

    When I was like 10 or something... On a family camping trip... lol

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Oops (sp) Caverns...

    by athenabodicea

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Only nobody pooped their pants....

    by athenabodicea

    That must have sucked...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:21 a.m. CST

    athena nice job with chickengeorge, Him and his blow up doll suc

    by trevorfactor

    But I&#39;ve noticed a lot of people are intentionally trying to fuffle feathers here. I mean seriously I&#39;d like to see some of these dorks say the BS they do to KS&#39;s face, and get bitch slapped. Yeah and what was all that about his wife, she&#39;s a total hottie. I don&#39;t know what these bored, jealous, hate mongering freaks are talking about. But I try to just ignore them. I only half read that one with all the caps before I said screw this angry little putz

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:22 a.m. CST

    damn typos, thats: Ruffle Feathers

    by trevorfactor

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Kevin only came here to defend himself against

    by athenabodicea

    the asshole haters who were talking shit.. And since he has mostly responded to the negative, most people are trying to post outrageous bullshit in hopes of getting Kevin&#39;s attention... He will obviously be able to tell that these people are just throwing temper tantrums to get attention.. Any attention (even negative) is good attention, right??

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Why is everyone on Smith&#39;s case?

    by Wee Willie

    What&#39;s he done that&#39;s so wrong? He makes funny movies that don&#39;t take themselves too seriously and once in a while he tackles a serious theme in a funny, oddball way. I think Smith is pretty cool. Does that make me a cock-smoker?

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    honey - what are you doing on that computer?

    by Cedar_Room

    you&#39;ve been on it for hours - are you downloading internet pornography again? i thought we talked about this?

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 11 a.m. CST

    The Talkbackers-Smith Conundrum...

    by Jam Banjo

    Was a latecomer to the house of Kevin Smith but really enjoyed Mallrats, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma... J&SB made me chuckle but I wasn&#39;t quite as keen on it as I was on the others. But it definitely had its moments - Good Will Hunting 2 to name but one. Haven&#39;t seen Jersey Girl yet, but will do. I&#39;m hoping it gets the

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    "athena nice job with chickengeorge"

    by DocPazuzu

    By showing a complete cluelessness as to who TB regular ChickenGeorge is, as well as a seemingly complete lack of knowledge of his online shtick, you AFers have demonstrated just how divorced from the normal run of things on AICN you are.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 11:30 a.m. CST

    doc did you break into my liquor babinet again

    by trevorfactor

    I don&#39;t care if chickengeorge is harry himself. if he says stupid crap like "phony white skinned basement dwellers" he&#39;s not real enviable in my book. Ow and doc I may not have a little notepad sitting next to my desk keeping tabs on who is who in here but I&#39;ve been around for a while. And from what I can tell you&#39;re one of these hate monger dweebs posting under 3-4 different names. And never really adding much humor at all but rather (like last night) doing your best to start fights and talk crap. I&#39;m not really even sure why you dislike the people who made aquaf@g the longest t/b ever, but I&#39;m sure your excuses are just more of your self-absolved BS. I tried to be cool to you but there is only so much one man can do.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    damn it, that&#39;s liquor cabinet

    by trevorfactor

    BTW Mr. Smith always proof read your posts, nothing worse than having to add one of these "typo" posts. Now I&#39;m hungry, I&#39;m gonna go get a taco.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    "if he says stupid crap like "phony white skinned basement dwell

    by DocPazuzu

    fevertractor, you may want to look up "irony" and "self-deprecation" when you get a chance. Your current level of understanding of the terms isn&#39;t really working for you.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 12:03 p.m. CST

    I will never get over this idea

    by Right Bastard

    I mean, i like this site, and I think Knoweles isn&#39;t the worst reviewer (whenever he gets around to actually doing a review). I just can&#39;t get my head around the idea that he has "pull" and "clout" in the business. I just can&#39;t. It makes my head hurt, that directors think that the guy who wrote the "Blade III" review has influence. Even worse, that directors think Talkbackers have anything valuble to say, especially after reading some of the Star Wars threads (then again, Kevin Smith is another Lucas apologist).

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 12:26 p.m. CST


    by The True Priapic

    I salute you,sah.Why do they double post as well?Genuinely think they&#39;re running the place.When coming on to a talkback on AICN we should stay on topic....Aquaf@g was a joke talkback to begin with about a joke in a TV show...the point seems to have been lost on some.......Personaly I&#39;m wondering whether to spend the cash on Clerks X as its the only Smith film I aint got on the Duh-vu-duh.With all due respect to Smith and his troupe his films have given my pals and I a great deal of pleaseure(especially through my Uni years) but I must admit to not having watched one in ages...and I have to admit to not having the ability to bring myself to watch Jersey Girl...I swear its nothing to do with the negative smog around it(I bet I&#39;d probably like it)and Liv fuckin&#39; Tylers in it..actually maybe I&#39;ll go rent it.........sod it...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Right Bastard....

    by The True Priapic

    ..I think the clout is because people like us come here and make his site popular.Bit like being the most sold magazine.....whats in it and what it says isnt that important its the fact that a lots of people read it and &#39;could&#39; be swayed by its opinion...I&#39;ve been here for frighteningly 7 years now,it has its ups and downs..when its cool its very cool but when the guys running it get a bit tired(quite understandable,really)it tends to show....getting Smith here is a coup though...somebodys made the effort.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Well I must say this story, since it is as on topic as possible

    by Chicken2nite

    Someone apparently made a comparison between KS and Citizen Kane, something that I came close to doing on the view askew forums back around 2002 or so. then, just about a year ago, someone flamed me about the content of my post (, saying such things as <<"To place Orson Welles in the same SENTENCE as Kevin Smith (nonetheless comparing their bodies of work!) is pretty much the reason why capital punishment still exists in this country. Mentioning Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in the same sentence as Al Pacino (whose work is compared to theirs as well) is tantamount to treason, which thereby would again result in capital punishment.">> Meanwhile, if you were to follow the link provided, I am innocent of all of those charges he laid upon me, which is what really pissed me off, let alone being hounded for something that I had written two years prior to him flaming my email. Yes, I compared Matt and Ben to Al Pacino and Arnold Schwarzenegger in terms of star power (if it were acting ability, he&#39;d have a case, if it weren&#39;t for me bunching Pacino with the governor). Meanwhile if you were to recheck the sentencing of that post, I never did mention KS and Orson in the same sentence, so the Fox News allogations that followed were truly uncalled for. My guess is it was some Kerry supporter looking for a way to lash out in the weeks following his guy losing the day. It still made me doubt myself throughout the remainder of my freshman year of university (U of Winnipeg in the film program just to spite the guy). So ya, I just though that was kinda relevent given the conversation that I was involved in there (defending a guy for sharing his uninformed opinion with those wanting to live in their own private view askewniverse where Kev can do no wrong [P.S. I did like Jersey Girl]). Anyways people, check out that post if you want to, it&#39;s a funny read from almost 4 years ago now so I had just turned 17 and was in my ranting on random internet forums phase, or nearing the end of it at least. I thnk I may just to see if the humour is still there. I think I lost something of my spontaneity as I&#39;ve aged...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 1:25 p.m. CST

    The True Priapic

    by Right Bastard

    You are correct. I&#39;ve been here a long time too (I used to only post once/year!), and I do think the quality - in both reviewers and talkbackers - has decreased a bit. But i stick around because, as you say, when it&#39;s cool, it&#39;s really cool.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Right Bastard...

    by The True Priapic

    ..its a bit egotistical I admit but I tried my User id in inverted commas in a google search and found me ranting about Lord of the Rings fans queuing for the advert in januaru 2001 and i said along the lines "I doubt very much Jackson will deliver a classic but...".....oh,god the shame...oh,dear oh dear...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2 p.m. CST

    jesus christ true priapic how many user ids do you have?

    by trevorfactor

    and is it fun talking to yourself like that? "ow boo hoo this site has fallen to hell, and the talkbackers are less then they once were, ow yes alter ego you&#39;re so right, yes I know I am thanks.." ow get a job! You&#39;re so f&#39;ing pathetic it makes me ill. 7 years eh true priapic? HAHA and yet you know nothing about Harry and who he is to Hollywood and what he&#39;s done with this masterpiece of a site? 7 years and still clueless? HAHAHAHA what a tool!

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Hey Kevin, what do you think of the shitty new Superman costume?

    by Incrediburgible

    I would really like to know.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:19 p.m. CST

    &#39;The Passion&#39;

    by TheDarkShape

    Kevin&#39;s said that "The Passion of the Clerks" is an appropriate title for the movie, not just a late riff on Gibson&#39;s film. So I have to ask: are we finally getting a Dante/Randal porno? A timid love story about two men... full of gay jokes, of course. The first film in history that GLAD both endorses and crucifies in the press? Or, y&#39;know, I could live with a funny comedy too. Kevin&#39;s yet to make a movie I don&#39;t like -- Jersey Girl made have been clich

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Am I off topic? ok back to comic books and such

    by trevorfactor

    btw really good question incrediburgible. Mr. Smith I have a question when do you think they are going to cross spiderman and x-men into one movie? do you think the spiderman vs wolverine concept would fly? have you read that comic? I figured since you own a comic book store you might enjoy breaking up the monotony a bit

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:28 p.m. CST

    **peers in the door and notices the Aquaf@ggers still here and d

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    seriously guys...I want to hear news about movies, not your lame back and forth comments to eachother. If you want to do that, get instant messenger.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:30 p.m. CST

    or for that matter Mr. smith

    by trevorfactor

    what do you think of the up coming Ghost Rider? Think nick cage is a good pic? I read your review stuff on star wars when it first hit the internet (by fan demand) and I enjoyed it. Any thoughts or do you have a hot list of upcoming movies? afterall this is a movie review site eh? eh? um if you feel like it of course *slowly backs away being sure to step slowly as if he&#39;s just angered a dangerous wild animal*

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 2:35 p.m. CST


    by trevorfactor

    yeah whatever pecker licker, in case you didn&#39;t notice I&#39;m throwing out tons of movie related stuff. What better questions or subject to get KS talking about than super hero movies? WHAT? WHAT I tells ya what? *slams door on frodo&#39;s little blue member*

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:03 p.m. CST

    A collaboration I&#39;d love to see

    by BigDogg

    After listening to Stephen Lynch&#39;s new CD today, it struck me that Stephen and Kevin working together on a movie or at the very least a soundtrack would be fucking incredible.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Do you really think he is going to come back and answer your questions? His little publicity stunt is over now go back to Aquaf@g land and talk to athena. You ruin every talkback that you come to and who cares that you were part of the longest TB in AICN history. Only a fucking loser would sit at his computer and repost "FLUFF" over and over and over and over again. I&#39;m glad the owner of Burger King hired you away from McDonalds. That&#39;s awesome "mate", but is that really a necessary topic here at AICN? Now stop beating off to the latest issue of Teen Beat and get a life. *pulls blue member out of trevor&#39;s moms ass and sprays it on her face*

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Kevin: Speaking of odd movie ideas

    by WindyTW

    , you could do the Thunder Agents! Dynamo, Lightning, and NoMan all say "Hi!"

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:31 p.m. CST

    wow frodo a mom joke, ow gee you sure got me didn&#39;t you?

    by trevorfactor

    btw multiple posts aren&#39;t hard to do, you see if the load time is slow enough you can repeatedly hit "post to talkback" which coincidently is how people sometimes double post. today&#39;s message has been brought to you by the number 4 and the letters F and U.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Trevor you&#39;re worse than Tonay

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Thanks for the tip, now if only I knew how to stretch out that Aquaf@g talkback??? Hmmm.....

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:59 p.m. CST

    yeah frodo do you do any research before posting?

    by trevorfactor

    aquaf@g is stretched to the max already swamp-ass-sniffer. You see a threat doesn&#39;t really work if what you&#39;re threatening has already been done. But keep trying champ, maybe you&#39;ll do better next time, not likely though

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 4:11 p.m. CST


    by trevorfactor

    nice plug dude. that SL guy is really funny, I think I&#39;ve seen him on comedy central. Anyway I&#39;m buying it. It reminds me of the old school dennis leary tapes we used to play over and over and over

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 4:36 p.m. CST



    Fellatio Fellatio with mouth stimulation of the glans and manual stimulation of the rest of the penis. Fellatio with mouth stimulation of the glans and manual stimulation of the rest of the penis. The common term blowjob is misleading, as blowing is not normally part of fellatio. A common technique is to take the glans of the erect penis in the mouth while rhythmically caressing the rest of the penis with the hands; the testes and the shaft of the penis can also be licked with the tongue. Suction is often used to increase the pressure and friction exerted on the penis. (When the testes are taken into the mouth, the act is sometimes known as "teabagging" due to its supposed similarity to the action of dipping a teabag). Depending on the preference of the participants, this stimulation may produce an orgasm and ejaculation of semen which may or may not be swallowed, hence the term, "spit or swallow". It should be noted that intense sexual arousal of the penis will often produce a small quantity of fluid from the urethra at the tip of the penis, commonly referred to as "precum". This fluid is produced by the Cowper&#39;s glands and is not semen (and has been demonstrated to contain far lower quantities of sperm than true semen). The purpose of this bead may be to cleanse the urethra and prepare it for the ejaculation of semen that may soon follow, as well as to provide lubrication for the foreskin and glans during foreplay and intercourse. Some males regard the reception of oral sex as an ego boost, believing that such an act is a form of dominance over their sexual partner. In addition, if ejaculation is reached by the male, the swallowing of the resulting semen by the fellator may be regarded as preferable by some ejaculators. This is often due to the unexpected end of stimulation at the critical moment, rather than the desire to have the other party swallow the semen. The practice of passing semen from the mouth of the fellator to that of the fellatee, or to the mouth of another participant, is known as snowballing. However, if the partner is unwilling to swallow or allow the semen into their mouths (and spit it back out), a common variant consists of the fellatee ejaculating over the fellator&#39;s face/body. The slang term for this is a facial. If the ejaculate is squirted on the neck/chest of the fellator, it is known as a "pearl necklace". A technique requiring significant skill is known as deep throating, named after a 1972 pornographic movie which features it. This technique involves taking the entire erect penis in the mouth, the shaft bending slightly to allow the head of the penis to slide partially down the throat of the fellator. The practice of using the teeth covered by the lips during a fellatio is known as t-boning. Though some males find the sensation of teeth on the penis to be arousing, if done incorrectly it can be painful. A small percentage of men have the penis length and/or body flexibility to fellate themselves, or to autofellate. Cunnilingus is the act of using the mouth and tongue to stimulate the female genitals, especially the clitoris. The term comes from an alternative Latin word for the vulva (cunnus) and from the Latin word for licking (lingere). Since 33% of women report never or seldom achieving orgasm during intercourse, cunnilingus may be a significant way many women can achieve orgasm with a partner without the use of mechanical devices, such as a vibrator or dildo. Another term for cunnilingus, emerging out of homosexual culture, is giving lip or lip service: The act of using the lips, mouth and tongue to stimulate the female genitals, especially the clitoris and the labium. Irrumatio is similar to fellatio, but involves the penetration of the mouth as a passive orifice, making the involvement of the person thus penetrated a passive one, with little control over the proceedings. A slang term for this is "face fucking". Facesitting is a form of cunnilingus that involves the receiver to sit on the giver&#39;s face, pushing it with her genitals. As in irrumatio, the receiver plays an active role and the giver a passive one. The 69 position with two women Oral sex can be performed by both partners at the same time in a sixty-nine position, named after the shape of the Arabic numerals in 69. The receiver of fellatio or cunnilingus may find it pleasurable if the giver hums or sings at the same time, sometimes called a hummer. This in effect makes the giver&#39;s mouth into a vibrator, though unlike mechanical vibrators the mouth has built-in lubricant (saliva). A similar effect can be created by placing a small, yet powerful vibrator under the jaw, causing the tongue to vibrate, which can be very pleasurable in small quantities, but can be numbing for one or both parties if overused. Also, eye contact during fellatio or cunnilingus may be very stimulating and more pleasurable as it acknowledges that a real person is performing oral sex, not a machine or sex toy. While the anus is technically not a genital or reproductive organ, anilingus

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 5:20 p.m. CST

    1,000 Words and nothing to say.

    by Cameron1

    Well done, asshole.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Asshole you say?


    Asshole or arsehole (outside the U.S.) is a term referring to the anus. It is generally used as a profanity in expressing deep contempt for someone or to describe a particularly abrasive person. This word is found in colloquial speech in a number of cultures (in both English and other languages). This is due to the fact that it describes an organ of elimination that is considered a taboo region (belonging to the intimate parts) of the body in many societies. The English word ass (meaning donkey, derived from the same root as its zoological name Equus asinus) may also be used as a term of contempt, referring to a silly or stupid person. In recent years, the words arse and ass have become synonymous in the United States, however in the rest of the world, ass still only refers to the donkey, rather than the arse (buttocks). It is worth noting that some varieties of English drop the letter "r", leading to practically identical pronunciations of ass and arse. Until the early 1990s, the word was considered one of a number of taboo words that could not be uttered on commercial television in the United States. Comedian Andrew Dice Clay caused major controversy when he uttered the word during a televised awards show in the 1980s. By 1994, however, the word had become less a taboo, and was often featured in dialogue on the long-running television series NYPD Blue; it has yet to become anything close to commonplace on network TV, however. It is important to note that while the word ass has found a place on broadcast television, asshole is not used, probably due to its more vulgar connotation. In 1993, actor Denis Leary enjoyed some success with a comedic song called "Asshole" which opened his stage play No Cure For Cancer and was featured in a music video. The British ska-punk band Snuff also have a song named Arsehole. In 2004, the website created a popular internet filmstrip about the Bush administration using the song "Asshole" by the band Jim&#39;s Big Ego. The scientific term black hole proved problematic, because its literal translation into Russian turned out to be the Russian equivalent of "asshole".

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 5:52 p.m. CST

    put down the comic book dear I want you to fuck me

    by Cedar_Room

    But I&#39;m sick of waiting! If you&#39;re not reading Aquafag you&#39;re on the net telling men you want to suck their cocks. A wife will start to wonder you know Kevin. Do I repulse you? Just tell me......should I get them pinned back?

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 6:15 p.m. CST

    kevin smith


    Kevin, i fucking love everything you have ever made or had even a remote part in. I am anticipating clerkin 2 electric boogaloo sooo fucking much. I know it will be great.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Not that you need my permission, but...

    by Kurlac

    ...make whatever fuckin movie you want, whenever. If it&#39;s funny, I&#39;ll fuckin laugh. If it sucks, I&#39;ll probably laugh anyway. Mallrats is *still* my favourite of your flicks, so don&#39;t you fuckin dare apologize for it again. Oh, and if you&#39;re taking suggestions for the next flick?? "The Passion of Jolie and Alba". Or, preferably, "The Passion of Jolie, Thurman, and Garner". And hire a hosepipe wrangler. And a jelly gaffer. And a dildo armourer. Good fuckin christ don&#39;t forget the dildo armourer.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 7:46 p.m. CST

    "appleSAUCE, bitch"

    by tango fett

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:54 p.m. CST

    "The swelling&#39;s not so bad. But the FDS stings."

    by lyra belacqua

    I&#39;ll see Clerks 2. I&#39;ll laugh at Clerks 2. But it will never surpass the original, there&#39;s just no way it ever could.

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Lyra you harlot...

    by keepcoolbutcare

    What, we&#39;re not good enough for you anymore? TRAITOR! And you had my heart...

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 10 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one in this talkback with a vagina?

    by Adiaphoron

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Wasn&#39;t Anchorite supposed to kill himself?

    by admkirk

    Hurry up loser

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith should have a reality show on making a superhero mov

    by JDanielP

    Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! But as much as I&#39;d want to be a part of it, ...I&#39;d only want the part where I&#39;m NOT on camera. (I just want to be running the show BEHIND the camera, that&#39;s all.)

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith! You need to help out Mike Judge!

    by cherrycola

    I think he needs help with his "idiocracy" film! It&#39;s been in limbo forever and I think you should help him either re-shoot some scenes or re-edit the film just like coppola did for that damn "supernova" film.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Talkback Superhero?

    by Weezie-Fett

    I think the above posted idea for a film of superheros of talkbackers is great....but there is only one I can think of, CHICKENGEORGEVII. That would be one of the most facinating heros ever.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 5:22 a.m. CST

    Harry, you only saw Mallrats for the first time 4 days ago?

    by Lone Fox

    You are so gay, fucking 80&#39;s style. Jason Lee&#39;s greatest performance ever, even if he lives to be 100

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 7:32 a.m. CST

    I&#39;m flying to Shanghai on Lao Che airlines and only have roo

    by The True Priapic

    Lao Che Airlines?Hang on........

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 8:17 a.m. CST


    by FrodosBlueBalls

    i WAS referring to the talkback being stretched out already and your whining to Harry to fix it. Use your f&#39;ing brain you moron.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 8:42 a.m. CST

    you said: "Thanks for the tip, now if only I knew how to stretch

    by trevorfactor

    I smell BS frodo! So now you&#39;re a dumbass liar and an idiot, care to keep the stupidity count going?

  • GREEN ARROW or GREEN HORNET or whatever, the idea of such a collaboration sounds like an interesting story to witness unfold on television. And besides, it becomes free advertising. That&#39;s assuming that the results look like an interesting, entertaining movie. I, for one, am looking forward to that Project Greenlight movie, "FEAST".

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith you are a Legend!! Ok, its not original, you have ha

    by HellonEarth

    Hey, wow. Can&#39;t believe I may have a message read by you Mr Smith. I would have joined you askewboards but I don&#39;t like putting card details over the net. Call me a pussy but I have only done it once for a CD, a one off thing and even then it took longer then it should to get to me. Anyway,. wow. Awesome. Just have to say you are a genius. Me and my mate love your films and your audience with. We have got so many jokes from the stuff you do and say and if anyone hasn&#39;t listened to a Kevin Smith commentary on dvd, you are missing out!!!! I swear, people say the original clerks commentary was funny with Jason mews passing out but it is nothing compared to the special edition Mallrats commentary and both commentaries on Jersey Girl. Yes I watched Jersey Girl and I loved it!!! No I&#39;m not man with a kid or owt like that. I&#39;m a 21 year old single guy and I thought it was brilliant. Affleck was on top form. Carlin was great support. Everyone put in great performances and the script was top notch. It was really moving and emotional and more then that it was real. I could totally believe Afflecks character and he didn&#39;t play the standard good guy. he was a dad, suffered a trauma and was an arsehole, even 7 years after he was a high flying arsehole. That was real. A great film. I think it might not have played so well because of the j-lo /affleck thing like you said in your commentaries. Media wanted to hate it plus it didn&#39;t appeal to the teen crowd who only liked jay and silent bob along with all the sex and drugs jokes. Hey don&#39;t sweat it, if they aren&#39;t mature enough to get greatness then that

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Trevor you are the biggest f&#39;ing loser on this site.

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    And that is saying a lot. I will not continue to explain my post you f&#39;ing idiot.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 9:31 a.m. CST

    cry me a river sally

    by trevorfactor

    you&#39;re just pissed off I made you look like an idiot in front of what you think are your friends. Stick to picking on people with below average intelligence and maybe you&#39;ll regain some t/b cred. As far as speaking to me, don&#39;t bother since I&#39;ll only make your immaturity and general lack of intelligence even more apparent. Run away now little monkey

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 9:50 a.m. CST

    I repeat you are the biggest fucking loser on this site

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    In case you don&#39;t quite get it yet...I was hinting at something else that may or may not get me banned. Dickhead, everybody here knows how to stretch out a talkback...some do it on purpose...some don&#39;t...learn to take a hint you fuckwad. You must be a sad sad man if you think that people in TB&#39;s are friends. These people are not my friends. I don&#39;t know anybody on here and I certainly don&#39;t have conversations until 5 am on here with people I don&#39;t know. Now who would be gay enough or lonely enough to do something like that?? I&#39;m thinking you Trevor. Get some real friends and go out once in a while. Your Aquaf@g days are over. Nobody but you cares about that damn talkback and if I wasn&#39;t so damn bored at work I wouldn&#39;t even give a shit about you or your pathetic putdowns. *trevor walks away shamefully realizing that he IS in fact a LOSER with no friends outside of AICN and Star Wars Galaxies*

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 10:05 a.m. CST

    ow see I thought you said "I will not continue to explain my pos

    by trevorfactor

    which I was pretty sure ment I wouldn&#39;t have to continue to make you look ... well ... like an idiot, but since you persist, I actually have made some friends on here, oddly enough that came as a result of being nice, something I don&#39;t suspect your feeble mind can comprehend. It&#39;s apparent to me now you only come here to be a dick and spread your hateful ways, and I&#39;m embarrassed I let you sucker me into this debate, but then again you needed to be put in your place. Good luck with the whole being an a$$hole and not trying to make friends thing, though you might want to try being nice every so often, you might find it more rewarding. you sad little monkey, I actually feel sorry for you now, here want a banana? Ow and as far as aquaf@g goes expect it to be back at it&#39;s rightful place of #1 in the near future. Since mr smith nolonger cares enough to post, maybe his wish (of this being the longest t/b ever) shouldn&#39;t become a reality.... only time will tell

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I don&#39;t get it. Why is Aquaf@g being #1 important to you.

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    And don&#39;t ever think you put me in my place.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Because I guess it has to be important to someone

    by seppukudkurosawa

    We all make our names somehow, and trevorfactor&#39;s made his by making a long talkback longer. Me, I&#39;m going to publish a classic novel, but each to their own foibles huh.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 11:23 a.m. CST

    It really amazes me the way some people have God complexes...

    by athenabodicea

    It is disturbing the way that some people address others here... Assholes come here in ruthless pursuit for dominance by talking down to others and resorting to childish name calling... Some people think they are so "special" that they can only be understood by other "special" people... Get over yourselves... Stop coming around here asserting your assumed superiority by constantly arguing, criticizing & verbally humiliating people...

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 1:32 p.m. CST

    yeah bitches :) do what the lady says

    by trevorfactor

    be nice!

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Athena,you&#39;re on a Kevin Smith talkback.Not an Athena one.Fu

    by The True Priapic

    Harry,get rid of this shit.Its gotten boring.They seem to think the topic is them.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Oh no where did the Aquaf@g talkback go???

    by FrodosBlueBalls


  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:19 p.m. CST

    anger will only bring you let&#39;s all hold hands,

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    here is a little song i might want to sing it note for note...don&#39;t worry be every life we have some trouble...when you worry you make it double...don&#39;t worry, be happy.........ain&#39;t got no place to lay your head...somebody came and took your bed...don&#39;t worry, be happy...the land lord say your rent is late...he may have to litigate...don&#39;t worry, be happy...look at me i am happy...don&#39;t worry, be i give you my phone number...when you worry, call me...i make you happy...don&#39;t worry, be happy...ain&#39;t got no cash, ain&#39;t got no style...ain&#39;t got no girl to make you smile...but don&#39;t worry be happy...cause when you worry...your face will frown...and that will bring everybody don&#39;t worry, be happy (now).........there is this little song i wrote...i hope you learn it note for good little children...don&#39;t worry, be happy...listen to what i your life expect some trouble...but when you make it double...don&#39;t worry, be happy......don&#39;t worry don&#39;t do it, be happy...put a smile on your face...don&#39;t bring everybody down like this...don&#39;t worry, it will soon pass...whatever it is...don&#39;t worry, be happy....And thus, who needs a hug? - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Schizophrenic much, it must be hard to remeber all those passwor

    by trevorfactor

    anyway have no fear frodo, aquaf@g will return but thanks for caring big guy.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:23 p.m. CST


    by The True Priapic

    ..dude,give up on them.They are genuinely kids,who are using AICN as a chatroom about themselves.Anyone who &#39;researches&#39; before going on a talkback is desperate,desperate for a a little kid "I KNOW!I KNOW!" with his hand in the air.The neediness is astonishing.Don&#39;t reply to them it only makes them feel like they belong.Note....that trotterfucker keeps thinking anyone against him is using loads of different i.d&#39;s,like Gertrude in Hamlet said"methinks,she doth protest too much".I honestly dont feel hatred just genuine sad.How sad?The neediness..the desperation...they&#39;re coming here,adding nothing,talking &#39;bout themselves and boring people.Why has Harry said off topic peole will be banned when mental cripples like these are coming here and talking about themselves like they&#39;re stars?They genuinely..and I mean GENUINELY dont realise they&#39;re dulll...don&#39;t waste your time buddy....

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Never mind the bollocks, Kevin...

    by Bigus Dickus;s the real question: are you or are you not involved in the Star Wars TV show? Despite being 36 years old, this really, really matters to me. Please keep Lucas from fucking it up. Pathetically yours, Dorkus Maximus. P.S. Make whatever movies you damn well please. Don&#39;t let the bastards grind you down.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    *sits next to george* about yesterday, I may have jump the gun a

    by trevorfactor

    sorry about that, peace? I like your song and I&#39;m singing along

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Good God.

    by DocPazuzu

    It&#39;s at times like these when I really miss CocoLopez. fevertractor, you are without a doubt one of the most clueless human beings I&#39;ve ever encountered. You actually have no inkling as to how you are perceived. You&#39;re also laboring under the notion that your quips are having some sort of effect on their targets. To top it all off, you lack even the most rudimentary grasp of irony, sarcasm, wit or satire. Watching you self-destruct like this is painful beyond the power of words to describe. It was entertaining for a while, but now... now it&#39;s just brutal to witness.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST

    So as I sit here watching morons type words about me I can&#39;t

    by trevorfactor

    what is KS doing right now, managing the 9,000 new members to his viewaskew site perhaps, or maybe like myself he&#39;s just realized that some people don&#39;t deserve responses

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 3:21 p.m. CST


    by The True Priapic

    ..mate,just leave it.It&#39;s a waste of time.It just loves the attention,don&#39;t be taken in..the only thing its talking about is itself.Just leave it,dude.It aint worth it,mate.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    now I&#39;m "it", huh I&#39;ve always wondered what it was like

    by trevorfactor

    are you going for the whole silence of the lamb thing where you call me "it", so as not to have to consider me an actual living breathing person. Well I am a person, and just as free as any of you hate mongers to offer up my opinion about anything I want. you don&#39;t have to like what I say nor do I you but I at least do my best to be friendly here. I could get into a heated crap fight with you doc or priapic or frodo (if you are three people) but I choose not to. That my young friends is what makes us different. When I&#39;m wrong I&#39;ll be the first one to admit it. Now for the love of Dogma, try to be nice!!!

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Aquaf@g is dead. And so is Christopher Walken...or is he

    by R.C. the "Wise"

    It was nearly a battle to the finish but I prevailed. It was unfortunate that is came to that dreadful conclusion. Apparently, Walken was so angered and distraut by the loss of Aquaf@g&#39;s prominance that he became an enemy to Aquaf@g himself and all that befriended him. He attempted to convince me to join him and his fellow haters, but I could not be fully convinced. This decision by me was seen through his eyes as a bold act of defiance and disloyalty to a friend. Sadly, he was driven mad by his rage. We battled for hours across downtown LA. If you are able to retrieve the Aquaf@g TB, you&#39;ll be able to read the climax of the battle. It was left at a cliffhanger, but since then, the battle "ended" by Walken plummitting to his "death." When it looked like I hadn&#39;t a chance of surviving C-Walken&#39;s assault, I pulled a rabbit outta my hat...sort of speak. Actually, I pulled a bag of Cheetoes outta the pocket of his trenchcoat. I mangaged to distract him with the bag. Seizing the moment, I hung the bag on the very edge of the of left-wing of the Disney Hall. Startled by the sight of his beloved Cheetoes in peril, C-Walken leaped for the bag only to slide of the building, thus plummiting to his "demise." Tragic, but just like the Aquaf@g TB, it took a tragic leap to "death."..............To this I must warn all regular Aquaf@ggers to beware of my postings in the future. I&#39;m in a state of shock...and I might irrationally lash out..........hahaha...could barely type that out without laughing hysterically. Essentially, just for kicks, I think I might decide to be a "bad guy" my inner Moviemack or Landoasskissian...why not. Could be interesting BEHOLD ....R.C. the WiseAss!!! I&#39;ll start by ripping myself. What an ass/dork/bitch hahaha.

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 10:38 p.m. CST


    by Setion_Pirate

    Good job opening the floodgates to people who want a blow job from kevin smith. That&#39;s right. Full grown men (read: sixteen year olds) want silent lardass to slob their knob. (I <3 u kevin, just don&#39;t touch my manhood)

  • Oct. 5, 2005, 11:32 p.m. CST

    Man this is long...

    by hillvalley

    Holy crap! Maybe this thread should be paginated (is that a word? As in &#39;separated into more than one page- paginated&#39;?) This page took forever to load. Anyway, if Kev see&#39;s this, 1) you rock 2) I wrote a paper on you as part of my NYU film school application, but didn&#39;t get in, and 3) Totally looking forward to the new flick! The trailers you made are hilarious (and made me realize that the OG Clerks may rival Scarface in the profanity count!). Good luck with everything and peace out...

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 12:09 a.m. CST

    Talkbackers Declare Victory

    by onefalsemove

    He ain&#39;t coming back so I think he got scared.

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 12:49 a.m. CST


    by Nairb The Movie


  • Oct. 6, 2005, 4:48 a.m. CST

    If this were a Magic Talkback...

    by Flummage

    ... or something, not that it is or anything... but if it were... I might be wishing for um world peace, um cancelling of the African Debt, and uh um... jacknicholsonjimcarreyelvissa lmahayeknakedjamesbondspidermanchri stopherwalkenjimmycagneyalfredhitc cockwalterhillrobertmitchumjeffbri dgesquentintarantinostanlykubrick francisfordcopplolaayoungdrobertde niroandalpacinodustinhoffmanwilliam shatnerdinodelaurentisbenkingleyra ywinstonorsanwelleskevinspaceymarl onbrandogregorypecknatilieportmanbr ucecampellpaulnewmanstevebuscemi AND johny five all to be together in a movie to be shot, finshed complete, and in the theatres by this friday!!! know, ...if this was a magic talkback...

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 10:47 a.m. CST

    just about off the top ten list list already, this didn&#39;t ev

    by trevorfactor

    Hey Mr. Smith, if you were holding out for a more opportune time to post, NOW would be it!

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Trevor, do you think that maybe...just maybe Smith was making fu

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Get a life!

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 12:40 p.m. CST

    don&#39;t cry frodo, or be jealous for that matter

    by trevorfactor

    you&#39;re still a maggot in my book! and what&#39;s up with you being all up in my business? Ow wait I forgot it doesn&#39;t matter because this t/b will be gone in 24 hours, bye bye frodoblowsballs

  • Oct. 6, 2005, 1:30 p.m. CST

    No Trevor NOO!!!!

    by FrodosBlueBalls

    Who calls people maggots?? Wow, I think I may have to go now. Bye Trevor.

  • Oct. 7, 2005, 3:22 a.m. CST

    Hey Kev, hope you read this

    by TheGinger Twit

    I love your films. But sorry, chasing Amy sucks. Thats harsh but it&#39;s an honest oppinion. sorry. Besides, when I love all your other films who cares. I do have one thing to say about Dogma. That Dolly/Zoom when Jay and silent Bob first appear. Geez man - That shit only works if you actually have a background.

  • Come to think of it "Hornet & Fletch" is like asking for it, in giving him some more ideas in vomiting other bad parodies on the screen. Dude, you were making in-roads with Jersey Girl, finally branching out and then...

  • Oct. 22, 2005, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Hey Kev, if you are still checking this talkback, I triple dog d

    by Shermdawg

    Nuff said. Nuff said.

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith need therapy...part deux

    by Bill Tsconte

    Kevin Smith needs therapy... still. Gee whiz... it&#39;s funny how much can happen in only a years time! Last me and Kev spoke, I pointed out the director&#39;s unprofessional behavior in the art film world. Kev&#39;s reply, or rather, his point-by-point Unabomber-rant-reply to every word of my post, ended with an attempt to rub my nose in the fact that he was days away from announcing THE BIG NEWS... The big news, as all you viewaskew fans out there know, was his alleged option to direct "The Green Hornet". The Green Arrow or Green Lantern would&#39;ve been something to brag about. But "The Green-who gives a fuck about him?-Hornet?" Before Kevin could fabricate lies about how he was a closet fag, er fan of the series... he was abruptedly removed from the project Troy Duffy-style. Kevin then proceeded to lie, saying that his insecurity about his action direction style (or lack thereof) had something to do with the choice. After seeing the stupidity of the action scenes that was Dogma, I don&#39;t disagree with his analysis. But more than likely the decision was Harvey Weinstein&#39;s. We may never know the truth... ...but so much for rubbing my nose in a project that&#39;s now in turn around. Hey Bob... next time, stay Silent about the BIG NEWS until you FINISHED the SAID project. Kevin can lie and spin like a top about the reasons he was fired from Green Hornet... but then something ELSE happened that was really special in a Stuart Smalley kinda way... Kevin was then ABRUPTLY FIRED from Fletch. Now Kevin is the sorta guy that when someone talks shit about the man he&#39;s replying within seconds with point-by-point bad lawyer style briefs. Whether it&#39;s Howard Stern or Michael Moore (who bitch slapped, by the way, with his F/911 doc that made more money than every Kevin Smith movie combined) or Fred Toucher, Kevin is ready with the talkback. Yet when Fletch Won producer David List accused Kevin Smith of being a liar and being a spinner... Kevin said not so much as a single word. You see, according to David List (you can read the excerpt on Newsaskew) Kevin has tried to suggest that his termination from Fletch Won had something to do with Chevy Chase. David List said the reason why he and HARVEY WEINSTEIN fired Kevin from that project had to do with his comic style and David also suggested that when Kevin suggests that the decision to fire him has something to do with Chevy Chase that Kevin, according to Mr.List, is intentionally trying to mislead people. Now normally, that would bring about a Kevin Smith internet flame war faster than the man can stuff carbs down his throat. But his complete Silence about the matter suggests many things.... the first off: he&#39;s scared of pissing off his boss. Secondly, that the allegation is true. Third, he&#39;s in bad standing with Miramax/Weinstein Co. Kevin loves to lie that he&#39;s in AWESOME STANDING with the Weinstein Co. And if Green Hornet was the ONLY PROJECT that he was fired from then maybe I&#39;d believe the poor slob. But since Kevin has been fired from Green Hornet AND Fletch ONe(Won?) AND now isn&#39;t being paid for his Clerks 2 film... one has to wonder... is Kevin on the outs with Miramax? Did Miramax FIRE Kevin Smith? Sure, they&#39;ll continue to make money off his old flicks, but that doesn&#39;t mean he is necessarily with Weinstein anymore. Again, I ask, was Kevin FIRED FROM Weinstein Co. I can ask that question because in a press release by both Miramax and the Weinstein CO. it appears that Clerks 2 is no where to be found on their release notes through the year 2006. Didn&#39;t Kev say that Clerks 2 was coming out next year? If Clerks 2 is being released by the Weinstein CO... then why wasn&#39;t it announced?? Certainly the old Miramax isn&#39;t distributing it (it wasn&#39;t on their press release either). So what&#39;s going on? It smells like Kevin WAS fired by Miramax and the reason he&#39;s not being paid for this film is because the funds are coming out of his pocket. In other words, Kevin is making his first indie film since Clerks. Maybe Kevin hopes that his indie film sequel will catch fire and be a big hit. In that case, maybe Weinstein will take him back (he hopes). Again, look at the Weinstein press release. It lists the sequel for Sin City 2 and that&#39;s not coming out until late next year. Kevin really only has himself to blame. Maybe if had spent less time online fighting with fans and spent more time finishing his unfinished comic books and spent more time making quality flicks, then he wouldn&#39;t face this backlash. But bashing on Kevin seems to be the norm when only a year ago I, perhaps, was in the minority. Now everyone from VH1 to TV Guide to the NYTIMES seems to have picked up on Kevin&#39;s passive aggressive downward tailspin. Kevin loves to point out that TV GUIDE is failing publication. The funny thing is, though, I still see it on the stands of every supermarket across America. And that means probably more people read the Jeers against Kevin than they have seen (or paid to see) a Kevin Smith film. Personally, the only section I read of TV GUIDE is the Cheers and Jeers when I&#39;m waiting in line for pay for my groceries. The same goes for the CW wisdom up and down arrow thing in NEWSWEEK. Most people are like me (unfortunately) in that we go to see if a celebrity is getting a thumbs down or thumbs up this week. If we wanted to read an article, we&#39;d buy the magazine, dammit. But the point is that more people read TV GUIDE than they watch Kevin Smith&#39;s film and if TV GUIDE has picked up on his "diminishing pop culture cred" then so had America (or what few Americans still care about the man). For awhile, Kevin spoke about Jersey Girl as an "underperforming flick" because he was too scared to call it the flop it was. Now he calls it a flop. His internet blog/book "Silent Bob Speaks" attempts to set the record straight by having the final word on Jersey Girl by saying "this was the best flick we ever made". If the man is that out of touch with reality, then he deserves the troubles he&#39;s having now. Of course, Kevin has probably watched Jersey Girl more times than there was ticked buyers. But if we could do the "Men In Black" thing on him and make him forget who he was and the last ten years of his life... then you know that Kevin would be making fun of Jersey Girl like the rest of us. And who are you going to believe... Kevin Smith when he says that Jersey Girl is better than Chasing Amy or even the original Clerks? Or me... a guy with nothing to prove. And now to answer KEvin&#39;s burning question. Why do I care? That should explain itself but Kevin is so out of touch with reality that maybe it does need some explaining. So, I&#39;ll say it once and only once.... Hey Kevin... when you spend your free time ripping on Tim Burton and Steven Spielberg and Prince and Michael Moore and ABC and half-a-dozen other people/entities that are far more powerful and respected than you... what do you expect? Do expect people to say "DAMNNNN... that boy&#39;s a rebel." No, they say, that guy&#39;s an arrogant fuck. And all the above have much bigger fan bases than you. If you don&#39;t want guys like me coming on your messageboards and pointing out your failures, then maybe you shouldn&#39;t make a habit of jabbing a bee hives with your stick. When Spielberg&#39;s company, not Spielberg, refused to let you use Jaws footage in Jersey Girl, you bitched and moaned that "you know that means... he&#39;s getting ready to do another re-release of Jaws!" And while, I agree, that re-releasing Jaws or Star Wars or E.T. with enhanced effects is annoying it&#39;s own right... I have to ask... who gives you the right to criticize these fathers of cinema? You are a public figure. You have an interest in protecting your public image. Are you so stupid as to insult Spielberg who has earned the right by now to put whatever he wants in theaters? He&#39;s obviously an influence/obsession with you since "Brodie" is the name of one of your famed characters. Saying that Tim Burton ripped you off (which is silly since you tried to rip off his Bat-man in Mallrats) OR that Tim Burton doesn&#39;t know comics because you "saw Batman" and thought is sucked is arrogance at it&#39;s most stupid. "Daredevil", which you lie that you love, was all but a rip off of Tim Burton&#39;s comic book film style and the director of Daredevil all but admits to it in his interviews. Did you forget that it was you that said that "Daredevil" was shaping up to be a great comic book film? There would be no Daredevil if it wasn&#39;t for Burton. Or, at least, there would be no Daredevil as it was directed if it wasn&#39;t for the original Batman... which is still one of the most successful films and comic book films of all time. Even ripping on a guy as ridiculous as Prince is stupid since he&#39;s still a giant compared to your petty successes. Gosh, you were even stupid enough to rip on Howard Stern, with his rabid fan base... suggesting that the man makes false statements about you. Did you suddenly forget that the man is an entertainer? Even if you really didn&#39;t call his station obsessively, then you can&#39;t deny that you get way too butt hurt when Stern pokes fun at you. that was his point, that when Kevin Smith is criticized, he freaks out and becomes a compulsive, passive-aggressive volcano. And for us listeners, not only is that true, but it&#39;s funny... ... and in the end... that&#39;s why I&#39;m here. Not just because you pissed off and me other fans of those mentioned above... but because it&#39;s funny to watch you freak out when criticized. Maybe it&#39;s the entertainment I want from you that USED TO BE in your films many years ago. I used to be a fan of you and I guess, in my own way, I still am. But until you learn to stop taking yourself so seriously, then the backlash continues. "Waiting..." is an instant cult hit. Critics are going to nail you to the wall when Clerks 2 finally comes out. They will say that "Waiting" has made your film irrelevant. They will point out that you made a promise many moons ago that you "retired the viewaskew characters" and will find it hard to watch a Clerks film when your other collegues (Tarantino, Rodriguez) have grown while you&#39;ve regressed. Clerks 2 WILL FLOP. And if it&#39;s a good film, then it&#39;s pity since that means you could&#39;ve made a good film that didn&#39;t even your over-used characters and humor. In the end, it&#39;s been a tough year for Kevin... a Hurricane Katrina of sorts for him. It&#39;s brought out the worst in the man... causing him to go back on his diet... Kevin even threatened the NY Times critic of Jersey Girl with violence by saying on his board "I&#39;d love to crush his genitals". Obviously, what I said earlier, still stands that Kevin is taking himself too seriously and while it&#39;s funny to watch it certainly isn&#39;t good for his career. (I raise my proverbial beer) So here&#39;s to Kevin returning to form someday that doesn&#39;t involve a Clerks sequel. Again, Kevin is always entertaining even if it&#39;s watching him crash and burn. I hope for his sake that the humor that I am finding in his demise will eventually end up back in his films. I say that because.... truthfully... I hope nothing but success for the man. As an artist, he sucks and makes some of the most stupid PR decisions around. But as a man, aside from his threat to the NYTIMES critic, he&#39;s a decent guy who cares for his family and he deserves kudos for not forgeting his friends. He even let one of them make a horrible movie named "Vulgar" and that alone speaks volumes. In other words, he&#39;ll bend over backwards for his family and friends even if his hurts him. He&#39;s a good man even if he&#39;s career is winding down, or blowing up. But if I had to saying anything to the man and nothing else... it&#39;s this "Good luck Kevin. I hope you make the best films around. A good guy likes you deserves it. You don&#39;t deserve the bad films you&#39;ve been making." Sincerely, B.Tsconte

  • Oct. 27, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST spent that much time posting on a dead talkback?!

    by Shermdawg

    You might need some therapy yourself. Nuff said. Nuff said.