AICN-Downunder: Joss Whedon info plus Rob Schneider talks about a GILLIGAN'S ISLAND film!
Y'all know me, know how I earn a living. Quint here with Latauro's newest Downunder column, which is fairly Joss Whedon heavy with rumors on possible Buffy and Angel movies of the week and some dish on WONDER WOMAN. Enjoy the Aussie report!
I haven't lived a good life. I've been bad, worse than you could know.
Does anyone have $3.75million? That's how much the Astor Theatre in Melbourne is going for. Anyone who reads this column (and blindly believes everything I say) will know that the Astor is the greatest cinema on the planet, mixing the old (Chaplin, Hitchcock, Tati, Kubrick, Marx Bros) with the new (Batman Begins, LOTR, etc). It's a beautiful place, and its closure would be a crime.
This has been happening in Sydney, as well. Arthouse cinemas like the Valhalla have been shutting down. Some are getting big new fancy rejuvinations, others are staying closed.
With any luck, someone who knows what they're doing will pick up the site and continue running it the way it's being run. It would be a shame if this coming Wednesday was the last chance we'll have to see 2001 on the big screen.
Big scoop came in earlier this week. Joss Whedon's been in town recently promoting SERENITY, and got to speaking with our new (and highly anonymous) scooper. "He told me that it's 99% likely (his words) that a new series of "Buffy" and "Angel" TV movies of the week will be happening soon. Spike will be the kick-off point followed by, hopefully, one with Illyria (sp), and Willow - depending on 'everyone's schedules, naturally'. In addition, he told me he'd like to get an unknown to play Wonder Woman, though Charisma Carpenter will 'at least get to test... she's got the look'. But yeah, I get the feeling he'll be flying the flag for a Brandon Routh-like newbie, one thing he did say was interesting though... something about fancying a tall Amazonian-type." Apparently Whedon also said something to the scooper about casting Michael J Fox to make WW look even taller. I'm not sure about that last one, though, sounds like a bit of a leg pull.
Regular scooper "Lennox" has sent in some info that came straight from the horse's mouth. By which I mean Rob Schneider. During Deuce Bigalow 2 promotions, the funniest man on the planet said that there's talk of a GILLIGAN'S ISLAND film. Apparently Adam Sandler's going to be Gilligan and Brian Dennehey's going to be approached for the Skipper. Australian actor Michael Caton (THE CASTLE and, um, STRANGE BEDFELLOWS) is up for the millionaire, and former Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins (who was up for a role in CLICK before it went to Sophie Monk... is there anything to the fact that Caton, Hawkins and Monk all either work or worked for Channel Seven?). Presumably Schneider will be playing the millionaire's wife. How funny would that be?! Answers in talkback, please.
Couple of title changes here. I don't know if this'll apply to all territories or just Australia, but the Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock remake IL MARE has had a title change to THE LAKE HOUSE. Likewise, the latest Harrison Ford film THE WRONG ELEMENT has been changed to FIREWALL, a title that's sure to render it anonymous on the video store shelves within a year.
AWARDS AND FESTIVALS
For those who missed the news, Australians Geoffrey Rush and Hugh Jackman picked up Emmys for their performances as Peter Lorre and Robert Frost, respectively.
And now, a cheap alternative to narcotic depressants: this week's top five list!
RELEASED THESE TWO WEEKS PAST
Russell Crowe gets uncharacteristically violent, Rob Schneider, Miyazaki shows what it would look like if he'd made BIG, the entire film industry places its hopes on the next local low-budget flick, Whedon misbehaves, and Jason Statham fills in for Ice Cube.
- A new documentary about the making of Wolfgang Peterson's WWII sub movie reveals previously unknown casting decisions in DAS BOOT WAS MADE FOR WALKEN
- DreamWorks resigns Zhang Ziyi for Adam Shankman's MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE GEISHA
- Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett reunite to investigate the killing of sacred cows in India for comedy hijinks sequel BOLLYWOOD BOVICIDE
Readers Talkbackcomments powered by Disqus
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Sept. 30, 2005, 7:28 a.m. CST
by Heywood Jablowme
Seriously, could this site let go of this guy's crank for five minutes and go find some "cool" news instead? Christ, give it a rest already. Oh, and first.
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:33 a.m. CST
Let them use all the cast of dancing with the stars for the remake of Gilligans Island...
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:34 a.m. CST
by Andy Dufresne
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:35 a.m. CST
by Some Dude
...would be about Schneider trying to make a Gilligan movie. It gets interesting when "God" decides to let Bob Denver live again, just long enough to exact bloody vengeance on criminally unfunny Schneider.
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:36 a.m. CST
by Heywood Jablowme
Because after The Honeymooners and Bewitched, audiences demanded more. Boy, I sure hope Rob Schneider can find a way to work "Yoooo can dooo eeeet!" Into the script. That just keeps getting funnier every film. How much did Duece Bigalow 2 make again?
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:57 a.m. CST
He must be important. Like God or something. Except with a bigger fanbase.
Sept. 30, 2005, 8:23 a.m. CST
by I Dunno
but even you have to see that a fucking Gilligan's Island remake with Rob Schneider has zero audience. I swear to Christ sometimes I think these Hollywood execs have a The Producers thing going on when they greenlight shit.
Sept. 30, 2005, 8:25 a.m. CST
by Wee Willie
Then again, I'd pay to see just about anything because I'm blind.
Sept. 30, 2005, 8:57 a.m. CST
Sure, the Professor was Spanish, but it was done really well and quite funny. I think Sandler and Schneider need to lay low for awhile and quit making films. Sure, I liked "The Longest Yard" remake, but it was 1. Not necessary and 2. It bombed at the box office. And how many people are begging for a "Gilligan's Island" movie? Brian Dennehy isn't my version of The Skipper. Hell, not even John Goodman. Hollywood's got to quit making remakes and TV remakes. I mean now we're going to get a "DALLAS" movie. What's next "HOGAN'S HEROES", "GREEN ACRES", or "MR. ED?" I mean the only TV remake to movie I'm looking forward to is "GET SMART" with Steve Carrell I think he'll do a fantastic job as Don Adams' Maxwell Smart. But here's a movie I'd like to see...ALF! Bring the Melmacian furball to the bigscreen. I think it's about damn time.
Sept. 30, 2005, 9:04 a.m. CST
by I Dunno
I didn't see it but someone must have. Still, Gilligan is a terrible idea,
Sept. 30, 2005, 9:59 a.m. CST
Derp de derp de dum! Seriously, though, can we stop with the Whedon news for a week or so? You're going to have to change the name of this site to "AIMJWN" soon. (Ain't It More Joss Whedon News"
Sept. 30, 2005, 10:41 a.m. CST
by Darth Busey
Actually, given the right comedic talent, I think this could work. (Looks up in the sky for eventual lightning bolt...)
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:19 a.m. CST
I thought I remembered hearing about a project to make that into a movie a long time ago?
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:34 a.m. CST
by Capt. Murphy
Also included: "Think you can do better? Go ahead!" "You keep using that word. I do not think you know what it means." Anyway, Angel TV movie, hell ya! I am a huge fan of Angel and would at leastl ike to see that cliffhanger storyline resolved, even if it's only to see them all get wiped out by The Giant, Mutated Kitten of Doom. Even Seinfeld had a final episode.
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST
Joss Whedon must pay for this site now.
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST
What a surprising display of restraint.
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:57 a.m. CST
is my friend Barry, fuck he's funny... one time- oh man... Anyway, he didn't say anything to me about a Gilligan's Island movie, so this guy is full of shit.
Sept. 30, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2005, 12:25 p.m. CST
I'm sure many assumed he was being sarcastic because the statement's so ridiculous, but the context of the remark seems to indicate he was giving his genuine opinion.
Sept. 30, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST
Otherwise, don't even bother.
Sept. 30, 2005, 12:59 p.m. CST
de durp de durp de durp de deedely de de dooo.
Sept. 30, 2005, 2:54 p.m. CST
And he never did say just who this "Funniest man on the planet" was, that apparently interrupted Rob Schneider with this news. If they gotta' do it, I'd rather see Topher Grace play Gilligan than Sandler. Throw in Rachel Bilson as Maryann.
Sept. 30, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST
by Quin the Eskimo
capable of love?
Sept. 30, 2005, 3:52 p.m. CST
Sept. 30, 2005, 3:52 p.m. CST
Surely this must be a sign of the apocalypse, although the fact that Rob Schnieder has a career must be another one.
Sept. 30, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST
by Quin the Eskimo
Sept. 30, 2005, 5:38 p.m. CST
That would be an interesting spin!
Sept. 30, 2005, 7:42 p.m. CST
Make off with a dead celebrity's corpse--say, the recently departed Bob Denver--and then announce that their old TV series is being remade. The resulting rotational energy of the spinning bodies can be converted into power for SUV's and Jaguars. Okay, it's a lot funnier if you picture it.
Sept. 30, 2005, 10:58 p.m. CST
Brilliant...Scheider as Gilligan is pure genius. It'd be about as great as Steve Martin will be as the Pink Panther. I don't understand why people aren't going to movies more????
Sept. 30, 2005, 11:19 p.m. CST
by Barry Egan
Oct. 1, 2005, 1:13 a.m. CST
Really good but (SPOILER) he does like to whack main characters in cheap and arbitrary ways just to up the drama. I was hoping SERENITY would be a series, but the movie felt more like a conclusion than a beginning. The original banner ads called it the "next great sci fi series", now they just say "next great sci fi adventure".
Oct. 1, 2005, 3:20 a.m. CST
man, that is so pathetic. i feel really sorry for all of you down under there. as far as buffyverse news go, great way to get buffy fans pulled into serenity hype. thats all it is.
Oct. 1, 2005, 8:20 a.m. CST
yeah.....you yanks whinge about TV remakes & at the same time crap on about Deuce Bigalow being #1 at the box office.......have a look at what is sitting at #2. Besides putting huge dollars into your film industry (and look at the crap thats served up), the rest of your time is spent making "hilarious" versions of british comedy shows.
Oct. 1, 2005, 8:51 a.m. CST
by I Dunno
You can tell a Brit that you just fucked the queen but he'll only get pissed at you if you say that the American "Office" is better than theirs. Well you can have all our sitcoms, they all suck. Take our reality shows while you're at it.
Oct. 1, 2005, 6:51 p.m. CST
I guess that Rob playing the millionares wife is funny to discuss, but only a crazy person would pay $10 for that crap.
Oct. 1, 2005, 9:05 p.m. CST
by Mr. P. Lant
Don't those awful puns at the end of every review make you want to punch him in the dick until he passes out?
Oct. 1, 2005, 9:36 p.m. CST
by Dr Uwe Boll
Please stop the 'next week' shit. It really really sucks.
Oct. 1, 2005, 10:35 p.m. CST
Really. "My Wife & Kids" is all yours. You want "Everybody Loves Raymond"? TAKE IT! You're welcome to remake "Roseanne" with Judy Dench and Nigel Planer. Would you like a UK version of "Who's The Boss?" I bet you would, so please take it! We'll throw in "Mama's Family" and "Small Wonder" as a oldies-but-goodies twofer. I love my Britcoms, but please don't complain about our versions of your shows. "All in the Family" was better than your version, and "Three's Company" was definitely an improvement over "Man About The House".
Oct. 2, 2005, 7:45 a.m. CST
Your complex about your own sitcoms is well founded. I ain't a Brit, but I just can't fathom how removing the humour yet adding in canned laughter to let people know when they should be laughing is accepted by the public as a viable alternative to just playing the original show. I caught two minutes of the remake of "Coupling"........jesus christ what were they thinking!
Oct. 2, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST
Bloody hell lat, if you're ever in NZ I'll buy you a beer for that line alone.
Oct. 2, 2005, 8:53 p.m. CST
The thought of this place closing down fills me with deep despair... deep deep despair..... my mighty heart.... my mighty heart is breaking...
Oct. 3, 2005, 4:10 p.m. CST
by Darth Bono Jr.
...because that's the only direction that a film version should take...horny Gilligan spying on the girls down at the lagoon...is the professor gay or not...etc.
Oct. 3, 2005, 4:13 p.m. CST
by Darth Bono Jr.
Those are my favorite kind.
Oct. 3, 2005, 6:19 p.m. CST
Oct. 4, 2005, 9:57 a.m. CST
by Darth Bono Jr.
LOL! I just got that after noticing it about three times..!
Oct. 4, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST
by Rick Sparks
Rob Schneider is this generation's Richard Pryor. However, Schneider's not funny, smart, or black. So there.
April 18, 2009, 8 a.m. CST
They just changed the title to "Lost"
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