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AICN-Downunder: Joss Whedon info plus Rob Schneider talks about a GILLIGAN'S ISLAND film!

Y'all know me, know how I earn a living. Quint here with Latauro's newest Downunder column, which is fairly Joss Whedon heavy with rumors on possible Buffy and Angel movies of the week and some dish on WONDER WOMAN. Enjoy the Aussie report!

I haven't lived a good life. I've been bad, worse than you could know.


Does anyone have $3.75million? That's how much the Astor Theatre in Melbourne is going for. Anyone who reads this column (and blindly believes everything I say) will know that the Astor is the greatest cinema on the planet, mixing the old (Chaplin, Hitchcock, Tati, Kubrick, Marx Bros) with the new (Batman Begins, LOTR, etc). It's a beautiful place, and its closure would be a crime.

This has been happening in Sydney, as well. Arthouse cinemas like the Valhalla have been shutting down. Some are getting big new fancy rejuvinations, others are staying closed.

With any luck, someone who knows what they're doing will pick up the site and continue running it the way it's being run. It would be a shame if this coming Wednesday was the last chance we'll have to see 2001 on the big screen.


Big scoop came in earlier this week. Joss Whedon's been in town recently promoting SERENITY, and got to speaking with our new (and highly anonymous) scooper. "He told me that it's 99% likely (his words) that a new series of "Buffy" and "Angel" TV movies of the week will be happening soon. Spike will be the kick-off point followed by, hopefully, one with Illyria (sp), and Willow - depending on 'everyone's schedules, naturally'. In addition, he told me he'd like to get an unknown to play Wonder Woman, though Charisma Carpenter will 'at least get to test... she's got the look'. But yeah, I get the feeling he'll be flying the flag for a Brandon Routh-like newbie, one thing he did say was interesting though... something about fancying a tall Amazonian-type." Apparently Whedon also said something to the scooper about casting Michael J Fox to make WW look even taller. I'm not sure about that last one, though, sounds like a bit of a leg pull.

Regular scooper "Lennox" has sent in some info that came straight from the horse's mouth. By which I mean Rob Schneider. During Deuce Bigalow 2 promotions, the funniest man on the planet said that there's talk of a GILLIGAN'S ISLAND film. Apparently Adam Sandler's going to be Gilligan and Brian Dennehey's going to be approached for the Skipper. Australian actor Michael Caton (THE CASTLE and, um, STRANGE BEDFELLOWS) is up for the millionaire, and former Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins (who was up for a role in CLICK before it went to Sophie Monk... is there anything to the fact that Caton, Hawkins and Monk all either work or worked for Channel Seven?). Presumably Schneider will be playing the millionaire's wife. How funny would that be?! Answers in talkback, please.

Couple of title changes here. I don't know if this'll apply to all territories or just Australia, but the Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock remake IL MARE has had a title change to THE LAKE HOUSE. Likewise, the latest Harrison Ford film THE WRONG ELEMENT has been changed to FIREWALL, a title that's sure to render it anonymous on the video store shelves within a year.



For those who missed the news, Australians Geoffrey Rush and Hugh Jackman picked up Emmys for their performances as Peter Lorre and Robert Frost, respectively.


And now, a cheap alternative to narcotic depressants: this week's top five list!



Russell Crowe gets uncharacteristically violent, Rob Schneider, Miyazaki shows what it would look like if he'd made BIG, the entire film industry places its hopes on the next local low-budget flick, Whedon misbehaves, and Jason Statham fills in for Ice Cube.



- A new documentary about the making of Wolfgang Peterson's WWII sub movie reveals previously unknown casting decisions in DAS BOOT WAS MADE FOR WALKEN
- DreamWorks resigns Zhang Ziyi for Adam Shankman's MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE GEISHA
- Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett reunite to investigate the killing of sacred cows in India for comedy hijinks sequel BOLLYWOOD BOVICIDE

Peace out,


Readers Talkback
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  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:28 a.m. CST

    YES!! More about Joss Whedon!!

    by Heywood Jablowme

    Seriously, could this site let go of this guy's crank for five minutes and go find some "cool" news instead? Christ, give it a rest already. Oh, and first.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Dancing with the stars Island

    by chewy-chop

    Let them use all the cast of dancing with the stars for the remake of Gilligans Island...

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:34 a.m. CST

    An unknown is the right way to go for Wonder Woman I think.

    by Andy Dufresne

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:35 a.m. CST

    A better Gilligan and Schneider movie...

    by Some Dude

    ...would be about Schneider trying to make a Gilligan movie. It gets interesting when "God" decides to let Bob Denver live again, just long enough to exact bloody vengeance on criminally unfunny Schneider.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Just what we need, another TV show related movie

    by Heywood Jablowme

    Because after The Honeymooners and Bewitched, audiences demanded more. Boy, I sure hope Rob Schneider can find a way to work "Yoooo can dooo eeeet!" Into the script. That just keeps getting funnier every film. How much did Duece Bigalow 2 make again?

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Remind me - Who is this Whedon character again?

    by Zino

    He must be important. Like God or something. Except with a bigger fanbase.

  • but even you have to see that a fucking Gilligan's Island remake with Rob Schneider has zero audience. I swear to Christ sometimes I think these Hollywood execs have a The Producers thing going on when they greenlight shit.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I'd pay to see Ron Schneider as Gilligan.

    by Wee Willie

    Then again, I'd pay to see just about anything because I'm blind.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 8:57 a.m. CST

    MAD TV's "Gilligan's Island" was the best.

    by screenplaywriter

    Sure, the Professor was Spanish, but it was done really well and quite funny. I think Sandler and Schneider need to lay low for awhile and quit making films. Sure, I liked "The Longest Yard" remake, but it was 1. Not necessary and 2. It bombed at the box office. And how many people are begging for a "Gilligan's Island" movie? Brian Dennehy isn't my version of The Skipper. Hell, not even John Goodman. Hollywood's got to quit making remakes and TV remakes. I mean now we're going to get a "DALLAS" movie. What's next "HOGAN'S HEROES", "GREEN ACRES", or "MR. ED?" I mean the only TV remake to movie I'm looking forward to is "GET SMART" with Steve Carrell I think he'll do a fantastic job as Don Adams' Maxwell Smart. But here's a movie I'd like to see...ALF! Bring the Melmacian furball to the bigscreen. I think it's about damn time.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Actually, The Longest Yard was a hit.

    by I Dunno

    I didn't see it but someone must have. Still, Gilligan is a terrible idea,

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Rob Schneider is--- A Stapler!

    by ZeroCorpse

    Derp de derp de dum! Seriously, though, can we stop with the Whedon news for a week or so? You're going to have to change the name of this site to "AIMJWN" soon. (Ain't It More Joss Whedon News"

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Gilligan's Island Movie

    by Darth Busey

    Actually, given the right comedic talent, I think this could work. (Looks up in the sky for eventual lightning bolt...)

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Hogan's Heroes

    by BrunoTheDog

    I thought I remembered hearing about a project to make that into a movie a long time ago?

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Adam Sandler has a cameo as a headhunter.

    by Orionsangels

    Wackiness ensues

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Generic reponse - "I don't see you making anything better th

    by Capt. Murphy

    Also included: "Think you can do better? Go ahead!" "You keep using that word. I do not think you know what it means." Anyway, Angel TV movie, hell ya! I am a huge fan of Angel and would at leastl ike to see that cliffhanger storyline resolved, even if it's only to see them all get wiped out by The Giant, Mutated Kitten of Doom. Even Seinfeld had a final episode.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST


    by Jeditemple

    Joss Whedon must pay for this site now.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST

    This guy referred to Rob Schneider as "the funniest man on the p

    by oceansized

    What a surprising display of restraint.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:57 a.m. CST

    "the funniest man on the planet"

    by bluebottle

    is my friend Barry, fuck he's funny... one time- oh man... Anyway, he didn't say anything to me about a Gilligan's Island movie, so this guy is full of shit.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Just give Gilligan's Island to Dave Chapelle.

    by Fred

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Read it again, greatn. He seems to like the idea of the Gilligan

    by oceansized

    I'm sure many assumed he was being sarcastic because the statement's so ridiculous, but the context of the remark seems to indicate he was giving his genuine opinion.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Cast Russel Johnson and Dawn Wells as Mr. and Mrs. Howell

    by TimBenzedrine

    Otherwise, don't even bother.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Rob Schneider is Gilligan!

    by K-pobuibo

    de durp de durp de durp de deedely de de dooo.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Geez!!! He said Sandler was going to play Gilligan. Don't yo

    by zer0cool2k2

    And he never did say just who this "Funniest man on the planet" was, that apparently interrupted Rob Schneider with this news. If they gotta' do it, I'd rather see Topher Grace play Gilligan than Sandler. Throw in Rachel Bilson as Maryann.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Am I

    by Quin the Eskimo

    capable of love?

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Rob Schneider is a Douche Bagalow....

    by beefywhore

    Rated PG-13

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 3:52 p.m. CST


    by Batutta

    Surely this must be a sign of the apocalypse, although the fact that Rob Schnieder has a career must be another one.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    THIS is cool news

    by Quin the Eskimo

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 5:38 p.m. CST

    They should do a serious Gilligan's Island, where the castaw

    by BrunoTheDog

    That would be an interesting spin!

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Aha! It's Hollywood's way of dealing with rising oil pr

    by themikejonas

    Make off with a dead celebrity's corpse--say, the recently departed Bob Denver--and then announce that their old TV series is being remade. The resulting rotational energy of the spinning bodies can be converted into power for SUV's and Jaguars. Okay, it's a lot funnier if you picture it.

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Great idea!!!

    by Rupee88

    Brilliant...Scheider as Gilligan is pure genius. It'd be about as great as Steve Martin will be as the Pink Panther. I don't understand why people aren't going to movies more????

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 11:19 p.m. CST

    Actually, greatn, the only way to make a Gilligan's Island m

    by Barry Egan

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 1:13 a.m. CST

    If you're knocking Whedon, then you haven't seen SERENIT

    by FrankDrebin

    Really good but (SPOILER) he does like to whack main characters in cheap and arbitrary ways just to up the drama. I was hoping SERENITY would be a series, but the movie felt more like a conclusion than a beginning. The original banner ads called it the "next great sci fi series", now they just say "next great sci fi adventure".

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 3:20 a.m. CST


    by dr.bulber

    man, that is so pathetic. i feel really sorry for all of you down under there. as far as buffyverse news go, great way to get buffy fans pulled into serenity hype. thats all it is.

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Remaking TV shows

    by thanner yanks whinge about TV remakes & at the same time crap on about Deuce Bigalow being #1 at the box office.......have a look at what is sitting at #2. Besides putting huge dollars into your film industry (and look at the crap thats served up), the rest of your time is spent making "hilarious" versions of british comedy shows.

  • You can tell a Brit that you just fucked the queen but he'll only get pissed at you if you say that the American "Office" is better than theirs. Well you can have all our sitcoms, they all suck. Take our reality shows while you're at it.

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Rob Schneider is a carrot

    by cornstalkwalker

    I guess that Rob playing the millionares wife is funny to discuss, but only a crazy person would pay $10 for that crap.

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 9:05 p.m. CST

    Does anyone find Latauro funny?

    by Mr. P. Lant

    Don't those awful puns at the end of every review make you want to punch him in the dick until he passes out?

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Charisma Carpenter has leathery nipples.

    by Dr Uwe Boll

    Please stop the 'next week' shit. It really really sucks.

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Brits- You can HAVE our sitcoms!

    by ZeroCorpse

    Really. "My Wife & Kids" is all yours. You want "Everybody Loves Raymond"? TAKE IT! You're welcome to remake "Roseanne" with Judy Dench and Nigel Planer. Would you like a UK version of "Who's The Boss?" I bet you would, so please take it! We'll throw in "Mama's Family" and "Small Wonder" as a oldies-but-goodies twofer. I love my Britcoms, but please don't complain about our versions of your shows. "All in the Family" was better than your version, and "Three's Company" was definitely an improvement over "Man About The House".

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 7:45 a.m. CST

    US remakes

    by thanner

    Your complex about your own sitcoms is well founded. I ain't a Brit, but I just can't fathom how removing the humour yet adding in canned laughter to let people know when they should be laughing is accepted by the public as a viable alternative to just playing the original show. I caught two minutes of the remake of "Coupling"........jesus christ what were they thinking!

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST


    by Hamish

    Bloody hell lat, if you're ever in NZ I'll buy you a beer for that line alone.

  • Oct. 2, 2005, 8:53 p.m. CST

    The Astor is a national friggen treasure

    by AwesomeBillFunk

    The thought of this place closing down fills me with deep despair... deep deep despair..... my mighty heart.... my mighty heart is breaking...

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:10 p.m. CST

    The Gilligan's Island movie better be rated "R"

    by Darth Bono Jr.

    ...because that's the only direction that a film version should take...horny Gilligan spying on the girls down at the the professor gay or not...etc.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 4:13 p.m. CST

    "Charisma Carpenter has leathery nipples."

    by Darth Bono Jr.

    Those are my favorite kind.

  • Oct. 3, 2005, 6:19 p.m. CST

    He lost me at "funniest man on the planet"

    by quadrupletree

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 9:57 a.m. CST


    by Darth Bono Jr.

    LOL! I just got that after noticing it about three times..!

  • Oct. 4, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Rob Schneider

    by Rick Sparks

    Rob Schneider is this generation's Richard Pryor. However, Schneider's not funny, smart, or black. So there.

  • April 18, 2009, 8 a.m. CST

    This has already been re-made!

    by squarebird

    They just changed the title to "Lost"