Cool News
The journey to ELIZABETHTOWN wasn't a pleasant one for this reviewer!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a real negative review of Cameron Crowe's ELIZABETHTOWN. I have a feeling I won't feel the same way as this reviewer because the sugary endings he hates from Crowe's previous films I happen to really dig. I'm sure this review will mirror the views of the more cynical out there and I hope I completely disagree. But never let it be said we don't show both reactions to a flick!
Hey Harry,
Been reading your site for years and years and years.
About every couple, I have a chance to send in
something to you (There's Something About Mary,
Halloween H20), but you've never published any of them
so far.
Just wanted to chime in on the screening of
"Elizabethtown" last night at Paramount Studios in
L.A. For B.G., I have to say that I'm a little hit or
miss when it comes to Cameron Crowe. On his best
movies (Say Anything, Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous), I
usually love them until it gets to the end and he
fucks it up with a completely phony, sugary, bullshit
ending--"You had me at hello," or the damn Rockstar
visiting the kids house (hold while I wretch). I
guess the reason Say Anything's ending worked is b/c
it can't be that sweet--no matter what John Mahoney
ends up in the slammer. I hate, hate, HATE "Singles."
So anyway, I went to the screening. I had hoped we'd
be getting to see the re-edited version that Crowe's
supposedly working on, but no one mentioned anything,
and given the film's length (around 2 1/2 hrs), I
doubt that there had been any editing.
There are some very good things in this film--Kirsten
Dunst, who pulls off a very difficult role because
she's asked to do so many phony, unbelievable things;
the guy who played Jesse, the cousin, and a lot of the
Chuck and Cindy stuff.
Unfortunately Orlando Bloom can't act. And when I say
can't act, I mean he sucks...bad. The whole movie
builds up to a scene where he is supposed to cry over
his father's death. People mention it over and over
again: "You'll cry soon." "Has he cried yet?" "When
you cry, it'll be for days." So what happens when we
finally get to the scene where he's dealing with his
father's death, which it the whole point of the movie?
They disguise it with a crap ass montage set to
typical Cameron Crowe pop music. Not that I think it
would have been a good film even if he HAD acted that
moment well. It still would've been just a dude
crying.
Susan Sarandon is also horribly misused here. I don't
want to ruin it for anyone, but at her beloved
husband's funeral, what does she do? Oh nothing, just
gets on stage and delivers a 20 minute stand-up comedy
act. And it really is an act--a full-on
take-the-mic-from-the-stand and wander the stage
Seinfeld intro. Completely unbelievable.
So, in summation--all the things that seem whimsical
in most Crowe films, just seem fake here. It's too
long. Bloom sucks butthole. And it still manages the
shitty sacharrine ending. That being said, it's
probably not so bad that it will end up being a total
bomb.
For another perspective, I went to the screening with
my girlfriend, who is really the absolute target
audience for this film. She laughed a lot throughout
the whole thing, but the instant it was over, started
complaining that it was too long and that there was
stuff she didn't believe--Sarandon's standup, the
map...
So there you go. If you use this, call me
Gatsby
-
+ Expand All
-
first
-
Or sawyer and Locke will fucking kill you.
-
Sep 27, 2005 8:30:14 AM CDT
Did Dunst really f' up and talk about the villians in Spider
by jon e cin
Wonder how true this is...
While doing press for her forthcoming release Elizabethtown, actress Kirsten Dunst may have finally let the proverbial cat out of the bag about the oft-speculated identities of the villains in Spider-Man 3.
Dunst is quoted at Zap2It as saying, "We have really great people though as the villains in this film, Thomas Haden Church and Topher Grace -- Venom and Sandman." She added, "Maybe I wasn't supposed to say that."
-
I just watched "Kingdom of Heaven" for the second time yesterday, and I was amazed at how terrible Orlando Bloom's acting was in that movie. Maybe he was miscast by Ridley, or there were script problems that didn't match up with events onscreen, but mostly I felt he was just wooden. Weird, because I thought he was great and very convincing in "Lord of the Rings." I also realize -- now -- that maybe he doesn't have the chops for to be lead actor. "Elizabethtown" sounds like it could be interesting, even entertaining, but I'm very nervous about Bloom in the lead role due to what I explained earlier. Maybe he'll surprise me, but if I don't like this film, he'll be the reason.
-
Everybody's got 'em. Sounds like a fair review to me, but I just can't buy into what this guy's saying because it seems like he's bitching just to bitch. I guess if he'd backed it up with more detail or description or feeling, I would have understood and believed him more. Then again, I guess he hates Cameron Crowe movies, so why would this guy know anything about description or feeling? A review like this sure as hell won't stop me from being there opening night. Thanks, though, guys for posting both the negatives and the positives!! Good for you for being objective and fair!!!
-
Sep 27, 2005 11:15:08 AM CDT
Anyone else getting tired of the "magic girl" cliche in these ro
by oceansized
When life's got you down, maybe because of a parents death, that's when she comes around. She's adorable, completely available, and her whole life seems to revolve around brightening your life even though you've hardly made a move towards her. I know if this ever happend to me I'd start suspecting I was a character in one of these movies. Crowe's definitely the master of the genre, but 'Garden State', 'Jersey Girl', and 'Punchdrunk Love'also come to mind just from recent years.
-
That's what people on this site tend to become when it comes to these reviews. Bad Buzz=It sucks, good buzz=it's gonna rock. And it's a fine line. Between "Too sweet and sugary with too happy of an ending" to "poignant and emotionally real without falling victim to cynicism." I mean, come on, this is a guy who, in his first movie, proclaimed the greatness of "optimism as a revolutionary act," and each of his movies has been a reflection of this. It's a whole hell of a lot more compelling than all those movies that are depressing for the sake of being depressing. Besides, the point of these movies isn't that "things magically turn out happy in the end," things only turn out happy because the characters take it upon themselves to make a leap of faith toward looking at the beauty of the world and allowing themselves to relax and enjoy life. In other words, every cameron crowe character has decided to ignore you all and enjoy themselves anyway. In Jerry Maguire, the girl was not "magical" and didn't "come along at the perfect moment." She was there the whole time, but Jerry never noticed her until his priorities changed and continued to change until the point that he recognized what was most important to him. Its not the world that is making these people happy, it's themselves. And that's a big part of the reason Crowe is so popular--he gives everyone the sense that they have the ability to be happy and fulfilled regardless of what life throws at them because it's all about self-actualization and Point of View. And I hope the elf can act, too. Otherwise this movie will suck.
-
i was also going to comment about crowe optimistic outlook on life and how it translated into his films, and you beat me to it, and for that, i tip my hat to u sire. orlando bloom was pretty good in "the calcium kid". i don't know what all the fuss is about when it comes to his leading role in "kingdom of heaven". maybe it was that grossly obvious rallying troops heroic moment where he stands uin the middle of thousands of people and explains why they must guard the holy land with heir lives. i thought that to be a little over the top for a movie by a director with the caliber of ridley scott...BUT...waddyagonnado? you know who's gonna be really happy if these comments about bloom's dubious ability to lead pick up speed? ashton kutcher. remember, crowe agreed to cast him provided he take acting classes. kutcher's ego spoke louder and he turned the offer down. only to make cheesy romantic movies with brittany murphy and amanda peet instead. write that down in the stupid carrer moves motebook, right next to jet li turning down the role of seraph in the matrix to do "the one". if only his brain moved as fast as his hands.
-
Unfortunately Orlando Bloom can't act. And when I say can't act, I mean he sucks...bad. ... So what happens when we finally get to the scene where he's dealing with his father's death...? They disguise it with a crap ass montage set to typical Cameron Crowe pop music.
I don't understand how the second point proves the first.
I have only seen the trailer for Elizabethtown but it's obviously a work of genius because they've managed to include only those scenes in which Bloom inadvertently acts perfectly well. He was fine in KOH (if a little too young), more than fine in Troy (he was playing an arsehole) and very good in Ned Kelly. -
Not that it's a bad thing or anything. It might be a really entertaining movie! But if geeks are waiting for "magic girl" to come sweep you of your feet, forget it. It's the girls that are waiting for "magic guy!" And if you can dance, any girl falls for that shite. Also, most hot girls aren't "mad chill" like in the movies. That would be awesome though! But don't mind me. Seems like in NYC (where I live) most gals think they're Carrie from Sex and the City. "Like omigod!" Groan....
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 419 total posts 209 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 131 total posts 129 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 123 total posts 122 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 124 total posts 58 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 191 total posts 47 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 43 total posts 43 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 60 total posts 42 posts
- I am The Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day! No, I’m the Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day! -- 27 total posts 27 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 506 total posts 26 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 77 total posts 24 posts