I am – Hercules!!

“I figured I would check out the pilot, the new pilot. Oh, and guess what? Leo’s? They named a sandwich after me! I’m on the board! I am on the board! And the thing about it, I was wondering, because I know you don’t go in there very much, I go in there all the time, I’m in there three times a week, in as much as you don’t go in there, I was just thinking that maybe, because my sandwich is a great sandwich, but I’m not really a fish guy, and it’s kind of, you gotta like fish. You like fish. But anyway.”

“Too many Jews. To go around.”

Here’s what’s involved:

* Larry nearly drowns in the ocean. When a wave deposits him ashore, he’s determined to get scalper tickets so he can attend temple for high holy days.

* The coffee cup Larry drinks from has a too-dainty handle.

* A deli names a terrible sandwich in Larry’s honor. And the deli owner has too firm a handshake.

* A snitchy kid causes Larry to spill.

* Larry is not unwilling to interrupt sex for an important phone call.

* The doctor attending to Larry’s stroke-addled father has “the yips.”

* Larry is ecstatic when his stroke-addled father tells him he’s adopted.

* Cheryl Hines remains insanely hot.

Herc’s rating for “Curb Your Enthusiasm” 5.1?

****

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
***** better than we deserve
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins

Remember, though, kids. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association awarded its Golden Globe for best television comedy this year to "Desperate Housewives." So "Housewives" is really the funnier show.

Get this!! “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Complete Series,” the best TV series ever produced, WAS available for $239.99 new (or $199.99 used). But NOW you can pre-order all seven seasons brand new, including a never-before-issued 40th bonus disc, for just $129.99!! That’s like all 144 hours for – what? – 90 cents per hour!! A better Christmukkah gift is unimaginable!!!