Cool News
UPDATED WITH POETRY!!! AICN & Rolling Roadshow Presents: SERENITY in a Western Town with River & Kaylee!!!
Hey Folks, Harry here - here's the winners of the poetry tickets for FIREFLY:
Adum Ross
Amanda Ray
Amy Lemmerman
Athena Peters
Bain, Wesley
Bheeshmar Redheendran
Brian Boyko
Britton Gregory
Bryan Nealer
colptx_sbcglobal.net
DK
Donald Koenig
DRC
Elvis Bob Rasputin
Greg MacLennan
Gregg grapej_gmail.com
Heath Allyn
Holly Alloway
Ian Galloway
Jenna Mead
Jennifer Gordon Jacobson
Jon Mavis
Kareem Badr
Katherine Chandler
Katherine Willis
Kevin Pluta
Laura Koenig
Les Simpson
Leslye Moore
Lisa Carroll-Lee
Marc Gunn
Mark Gardner
Melissa Tyler
Michael Bockoven
mike neumann
mitchell sapp
R.Zane Rutledge
Robert Berry
Ron Blancarte
Ryan Mosley
Samantha Smith
Sarah Dickerson
Scott
Shannon Reynolds
Sheilagh O'hare
Shellie F
Steve Jackson
Steve Linder
Talon Darkwing
Valerie Ward
We'll be emailing everyone with directions to the screenings. I'll send over some of the poems later. Everyone on the list gets two free tickets.
Tim
Now, I know what you're thinking... You want to see the poems - but you really don't. Tim got hundreds of them - but here's a sample of those that won...
Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee,
Your eyes are as bright as the comet Hay-ley
Your lips so soft like The London Daily
I search for your heart like the Holy Grail-y
I long to make you purr like a tuned up star drive
To toss you a salad of watercress and endive
To harmonize like four out of the Jackson 5ive
And at the risk of sounding repeti-tive ...
Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee,
Come home with me just like Bill Bailey
We'll play Monopoly and get out of jail free
And pull the fringe curtains on mom's double-wide trailee
Kaylee you are so pretty
From head to toe, including titties
I want to kiss your sweet mouth
then kiss your neck, breasts and further south
Twixt your nethers, time I would selflessly spend
pleasing you over and over again
Please fix my heart like a worn out g-line
I will be yours if you will be mine
In the engine room you saw me
with greasy flowing hair.
On the grasslands of some backwater
a stallion to your mare.
Rotor turn, piston pump,
young maiden you did get shiny
for the drive train and crank case.
I nailed you on your hiney!
Now don't get me wrong!
A tattoo'd dude like me
can to you seem like "go-su"
But you took my job you prairie harpy!
and left me on planet Motu! (I think)
So hear me now, Kaylee Frye
of natural-born mech talent
next time I see a girl in jumpers
I won't let her hold my mallet!
Your beauty, Kaylee, trapped me
and made me such the fool.
I regret the day I ever met
the chick who's good with tools.
--Marco, former engineer abord "Serenity"
Here's a haiku for Kaylee, best read with a western accent...
"Sumthin' Else"
Girl, yer sumthin' else
Uh sweet, juicy strawberry
Ah could eat right up
the river
upon a spaceship you fly
better with no clothes
--
S Honea
There once was a really swell dude named Jayne
Who was as nice as nice could be.
Every morning he would smile at the Sun as he said
"Fiddle-diddle, fiddle-diddle-diddle-dee!"
One day as he spoke to the sun Jayne noted
That the Sun was just a little bit pissy.
"Fiddle-dee?" said the Sun, "That's really sort of
gay,
You're such a stupid, faggy little sissy."
Well from that forward Mr. Jayne was a tyrant
And would kick little puppies in the nuts.
He would poop on children, and burn down houses.
Freakin' everybody hated his guts.
So the people got together and they called a hero
By the name of Mighty-Ian Super-Great.
They told of all the evil things that Jayne had done
And said "Stop him quick before it's to late!"
Mighty-Ian Super-Great just shrugged his shoulders
So the poeple screamed "We'll give you lots of money!"
"I don't know," said Mighty-Ian as he stroked his
chin,
"Shit on kids is really pretty funny."
So Mighty-Ian Super-Great and Jayne joined forces
And they shat on children all across the town.
It didn't matter if the kids were Red or Yellow, Black
or White,
'Cause when they'd finish all the kids were stinkin'
Brown.
One day Mighty-Ian said to Jayne, "I've been thinking.
Your name is not extremely hard to say.
It's not too long, and it's not too flashy.
It's just that it rings a little gay."
"Well, I guess that's that," said Jayne, kinda angry.
"This partnership's officially done."
Ian called the cops (cause he didn't want to hurt
him),
And Jayne became a fugee on the run.
Not a day goes by that Mighty-Ian Super-Great
Doesn't think of all things they used to do.
So he'll kick a puppy's nuts, and hold it to the sky,
And he'll hope that Jayne has kicked a puppy too.
I love you Jayne. Poop on a kid for me.
I never knew you could dance,
I practically swoon with romance,
My dear Captain Mal,
It all went so well,
At least you didn't rip your tight pants.
Verse 2
Dang ran mei mei dong ma fei hua
mei mei feng le hou-zi de pi gu
Gorram bao bei
Gou shi bi zui
Guay, hu che lan dan jiang le se!
Delicate flower
And an engineer to boot?
Grease me up, woman!
Come with me-Okay? Leave
the others behind, aboard their ships
and you can board mine. I know
You've been so Malcontent with that
sorry lot. You and I could move to
a nice little planet, live together
in our apartment. We'd eat peas
from a can and I'd give you scalp
massages. Bring your gun, I
like it. I desperately like your t-
shirts. I like you, sir, in a tea
pot or midst a tempest fierce.
I like you something fierce.
I could spot you, when you
work out, you know, doing a
push-up, hard crunches, difficult
isotonic exercises. There's a frontier,
a whole universe, for you and I, Jayne,
and those who think I'm stupid for
loving you, to them, to them I say,
"He is, oh he is kind of terrible, he
is, but have you seen him in a t-shirt?"
At the risk of sounding too forward, I'd
also like to say that love and affec-
tion is covered under my generous
insurance plan, should things not
work out. I can knit. I'm pretty
good at kickball. And I like ad-
ventures. I think you, with your
je ne sais quoi, should come with
me and my oui, je sais monsieur.
Sigh, mon amour, I can learn to
speak Chinese and kick ass, to
win your heart. And I hope to, by
this scrive, earn your adoration, all
split infinitives aside. To this end,
I have hidden all the others in
my ode, so now it's just you and I
left, Jayne. Kisses!
The version with hidden names bolded, which I would emphasize when reading my poem aloud.
Come with me-Okay? Leave
the others behind, aboard their ships
and you can board mine. I know
You've been so Malcontent with that
sorry lot. You and I could move to
a nice little planet, live together
in our apartment. We'd eat peas
from a can and I'd give you scalp
massages. Bring your gun, I
like it. I desperately like your tee-
shirts. I like you, sir, in a tea
pot or midst a tempest fierce.
I like you something fierce.
I could spot you, when you
work out, you know, doing a
push-up, hard crunches, difficult
isotonic exercises. There's a frontier,
a whole universe, for you and I, Jayne,
and those who think I'm stupid for
loving you, to them, to them I say,
"He is, oh he is kind of terrible, he
is, but have you seen him in a t-shirt?"
At the risk of sounding too forward, I'd
also like to say that love and affec-
tion is covered under my generous
insurance plan, should things not
work out. I can knit. I'm pretty
good at kickball. And I like ad-
ventures. I think you, with your
je ne sais quoi, should come with
me and my oui, je sais monsieur.
Sigh, mon amour, I can learn to
speak Chinese and kick ass, to
win your heart. And I hope to, by
this scrive, earn your adoration, all
split infinitives aside. To this end,
I have hidden all the others in
my ode, so now it's just you and I,
Jayne. Kisses!
Kaylee, Kaylee
(as sung to the tune of Daisy Bell/Bicycle Built for Two)
Kaylee, Kaylee, covered in engine goo
Serenity keeps flying, only because of you.
You are a handy grease monkey,
Your person's so winsome and spunky;
The ship would be base, without your face
Beaming amidst the crew.
So maybe, Kaylee, you'll answer this query true,
I have an offer I'd like to pose to you:
If you'd go out with this fella,
I'd take you to all the galas.
I'd show off your grace with dresses of lace,
And together we'd say "I do."
Ever, after, we'll be together us two.
Taking our love to depths we never knew.
'Cause we were made for each other
Though, maybe we'll make another.
Then we'd be three, a real family,
In a Firefly shiny and new.
Ode to Jayne
My love for you ain’t hard to explain,
It’s the draw of a man not confused by his brain;
Not plagued with delusions of moral finesse,
Or dumbstruck by his own wife’s combative prowess.
Sweet Jayne, when ethics leave others perplexed,
You would save twenty hookers if it would just get you sexed.
You’re a simple man, not saddled down by his past.
Your own image you so graciously called “eerie-assed”
Has captured my longing, especially when without shirt.
It’s no mystery you are so loved by those guys who drink dirt.
O Jayne! My heart races when you work out with Book,
Or when your eyes caress Vera with so tender a look.
While I cannot agree you look better in red,
I do find you cunning with a yarn-cap clad head.
Dear Jayne, if you’d let me compete with your gun,
I’ll get dressed up real nice, and you can take me somewhere fun.
"Alas, that this poor surgeon cannot take
The scalpels that are 'words' in steady hand
And heal thy wounds, thine ills, and thy heartbreak --
Not cut thee as he has time and again!
Ah! If he could, he'd sing thee to the stars
Whose light is captured in thy shining eyes!
He'd tell of how thy smile lights up the 'verse
And calms the fearful soul that in him lies!
For grease and grime cannot obscure that love
For captain, ship, and all whom thou dost see
That brightly shines within, with nought to prove!
Oh, if he could but find the poetry --
Dear Kaylee, thou heart of Serenity,
He'd speak his love for all eternity."
Anyway, um...tell me what you think.
-Simon
END TRANSMISSION
Oh Border Princess,
Prairie Harpies are my dream
Mechanic, leave Simon
were I but a firefly
you could mend my broken heart
alas, I am merely a man
but still, I am falling apart
to you I would give
all the 'verse's pretties
i would feed you strawberries
and show you the finest cities
but your love is for another
a doctor for whom you swoon
but please, Kaylee, let me
give it to you in the engine room
with the word of God
you cap suckas in the knees
christ, that's a big 'fro
Ode To Mal
Oh how I love Mal, with your furrowed brow
Your cocky jaunt and space worthy taunt
A shotgun so big, it could kill ten men
And a lip so wise, your words rip through my skin
With reavers and run-ins and River aplenty
I don't understand how you keep your head steady
Adventure just sticks to you as you travel so gaily
But Mal, why oh why have you not slept with Kaylee?
It was love at first site
Serenity, he took flight
Outlaws and fugitives combine
Never afraid to cross the line
His love for his ship and crew
No harm anyone can do
Just trying to get by
Mal, on you they rely
I know this poem reaks
But I want some seats
Four tickets I need
Four tickets indeed
I love this Firefly
And without Mal will die
Tickets on the line
Will force me to rhyme
Nekkid in a freezer, you came to Serenity.
All cowering and crazy talk,
You didn't seem a Whedon entity.
But as we watched you warmed our hearts,
with your wacky antics and your cooky larks.
Hippy dress clad and combat booted,
You closed your eyes, then 3 you shooted.
Slashed Jayne in the chest cause he looks better redded,
(Thanks for that by the way--always good to see Adam Baldwin bare-chested)
Season 2's not to be, but a film's come to pass.
Where you look more Whedonesque--what with the kicking ass.
Now no power in the verse could you from me cleave.
I'll say but these few words, then take my leave.
If you'd fix my bible, I'd be your Simon.
I'd even work to improve my rhymin.
Some cling to Buffy, others keep Faith,
But I choose you, River.
Thus here I proclaimith:
You may be a witch, but your my witch.
River, River, you have been fucked
You're just a girl, with nuthun but
Bad luck
The Alliance wants you deceased,
So all those secrets will Rest in Peace
It's not easy being telepathic
Too many noises in your head
But don't mess with you,
You'll be seeing red
And kick some ass,
Like any self-respecting minx would
My dear River,
I'd let you run through me if you could.
--Katherine Willis
Especially when you're covered in grease (an ode to Kaylee)
By Mike Bockoven
The finest restaurants and companions
The core planets possess
But in the outer rims of the galaxy
Has the one that I love best
It's in the blackness of outer space
That our love began to land
Now I'm so darn smitten, dear
You take me where I cannot stand
Kaylee, lovely Kaylee,
whose cheeks are apple round
and when you eat a strawberry
I can barely make a sound
So tough and yet so elegant
In overalls and oil
So fun and yet so capable
Of replacing the compression coil
Your intrigue and your story grows
Because you're on the lam
And every time he makes you frown
I want to punch Dr. Simon Tam
I want to be your friend and lover
If you'd let me be
Because in your arms and in your eyes
I've found Serenity
from Prism of Loving
by Clem Perez
I long to touch the velvet of your skin,
To feel the warmth between your thighs,
An hold your breasts in my hands.
To be in you,
To know you,
To have you know me.
To give to you something of myself,
And to receive from you of your joy.
Dear Jayne,
You pull my trigger.
Love, Vera
A married man from Austin town a fearin of the worst
Fearful Kaylee is fictional and from another ' verse
Free me from these fears, relieve these awful woes
Show me her intractable cheerfulness... or just give me ticket to the show.
Is this man to old for dreaming? My brown coat a mid life cry?
Is Firefly really canceled? Will you let some Reaving Fox exec steal her from the Sky?
Grant this man a simple boon, A smile from your loving face
Allow me to take my fair lady to this show and we will both toast your cheerfulness and grace.
yours always,
Way too old for scifi,too brown coat to care
Homoerotic poetry was never my strength.
Perhaps it's the gay inside of my straight.
Confused here I sit, just wanting to say,
I heart Mal, like the sun loves the day.
I remember I watched a war movie
feels just like seven years ago you see..
A man cried for his brothers who died,
the irony however was his were alive.
I went from straight to flamin'
Over the Private Ryan who wasn't Matt Damon.
Next up for Mal was ABC.
On a show about pizza and she,
The girl with two guys and a place.
which was as fun as shaving with mace.
Luckily, it ended real quick,
struck down by the corporate stick.
Mal could leave and be great,
Leaving Van Wilder to kill vamps with a stake.
Then Mal met Joss Whedon,
the only other man I'd put my seed in.
They took flight in a bird named Serenity.
Like buzz lightyear from here to infinity.
and not that I gloat, but Joss also wrote.
So they set sail on the ocean called Fox.
Friday nights on the tube in a box.
Mal lead a crew of eight other souls,
warming our hearts by filling the holes.
Of course it aired out of order,
filling our heads with fear and disorder.
What would Mal do? How could he save us?
A shower from heaven, in love, did he bathe us.
Fifteen eps and a lifetime of love
Mal commanded the crew from below and above.
Like Vadar, Han Solo, and Chewbacca in one,
I swell with such passion when he'd fire his gun.
So Mal, I love you, I really do
The gross weird man touch kind too.
I'd give your face a kiss for a day at a time,
Only in Texas would it be considered a crime.
But screw the laws babe, its just you and me.
And a few thousand fans waiting to see.
Oh drat Mal's not here, where could he be?
Oh well I guess I'll settle for a kiss from Kaylee.
(this is the part where Jewel Staite totally makes out with me.)
(or a peck on the cheek anyway)
(or a firm but elegant handshake)
-fin-
Hey folks, Harry here again - if you didn't win - or barely survived that sampling of poetry - read below on how you still can go - See ya there!
Hey all you Herc-loving, Brown Coat wearing FIREFLY worshipping maniacs! Harry here - and I'm doing something, moderately cool with Tim League here in the Austin area for September 28th. I know you folks are a pack of frenzied mad drooling fiends for all thing Whedon - and what sort of Headgeek would I be if I didn't help put something extraordinary together just for all of you? Well, Tim League called me up and asked if I could help put together one of our patented cool as hell events - so I wrote Joss a letter, he wrote me back - I handed it off to Tim and now we have our cool as hell SERENITY screening in a real western town with real yumptious Chinese food snacks and BEER! Alright! Here's how to go!
Ain't It Cool News and The Rolling Roadshow will be hosting a sneak
preview screening of the film on Wednesday, September 28 at 8:00
along the streets of an old west town near Austin. Details and
directions will be given to the ticket holders. Stars Summer Glau
(River) and Jewel Staite (Kaylee) will be live in person at the
screening and will conduct a Q&A after the film.
There are three ways to get tickets:
1) Respond by 10 AM, Friday morning to either
ilovekaylee
ilovejayne
ilovemal
iloveriver
with a love poem to either Kaylee, Mal, Jayne or River, and the best
authors will be given pairs of tickets to the show. Winners will be
announced at Ain't It Cool News at 4 PM on Friday, September 23. We
reserve the right to have you read your love poems on stage at the
screening.
If you do not win a ticket through Ain't It Cool News, you can
request a seat by emailing us at Serenity@OriginalAlamo.Com anytime
after 5:00 PM on Friday
2) You can also buy a VIP tickets at OriginalAlamo.Com
starting at 5:00 PM on Friday. The screening is free, but your VIP
ticket includes a guaranteed reservation for the screening, two
beverages (non-alcoholic or otherwise) plus a Firefly inspired to-go
box of Chinese snacks prepared by Alamo Drafthouse Cinema executive
chefs John Bullington and James Holmes. THESE TICKETS WILL BE
AVAILABLE AT WWW.ROLLINGROADSHOW.COM starting at 5:00 PM on Friday,
September 23.
All tickets not available through the Ain't It Cool News giveaway are
first come
first serve. Winners will be announced on MOnday, September 26.
We'll have full concessions, including beer service, available at the
screening. No outside food or drink will be allowed.
Due to scheduling constraints, autographs may not be available at this event.
In the event of rain, the screening will be held at the Alamo
Drafthouse Cinema South Lamar.
Further details will be posted at OriginalAlamo.Com
-
+ Expand All
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I'm going to have to sell my soul to get tickets, aren't I?
Anyone know how much tickets are? -
Sep 21, 2005 10:31:33 PM CDT
Dude, you have to post the all the love poems on the site...
by kintar0
I can't wait to read MasterWhedon's.
-
My first First! Yay!
-
I can't wait to read any of the poem. It's going to be great. Only a Joss Whedon contest could get away with asking contestants to submit love poetry to the characters. Awesome.
-
I do wanna have those poems posted. I've seen Serenity twice, and it's a fun ride of a movie. For those going, enjoy. Not to pimp too hard, but here's my interview w/ Adam and Nathan from the site: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=20034
peace out~
Grendy -
... Jewel Staite <3 Phro. Kaylee & Chree 4-eva !
-
Not that I'm feeling poetic or anything, but damn...
-
I just perfer my women to look older than 16 years old. There are 100's of other actresses that aren't in a made for TV movie that are prettier. But she is a working actor so I shouldn't slam her...I'll let you other geeks do the slamming.
-
Seriously, what's the deal. Buffy and Angel have some seriously whack fights. And the fighting, especially with the River chick, in the Serenity commercials is just as retched as them. Someone needs to clue Whedon in and tell him the hard truth that he needs to hire someone to choreograph the fighting for him or fire whomever does it now. If he's directing Wonder Woman, someone needs to tell him NOW. If Wonder Woman uses the same slow-kick, cartwheel karate as Buffy and River do...
-
You didn't really bother to check who he hired for that, did you? Consider it your homework.
-
and he's choreographed fights for "Perfect Target," "Bloodsport III" and "True Vengence." Sweet! No wonder the fights are so awesome. But he was also martial arts stunts coordinator on the Matrix Trilogy. He didn't learn anything from Wo Ping? That's a shame. He's only the best in the business.
-
...hahahha, that just smacks of cruelty. You gotta be SERIOUSLY extroverted to wanna read love poems on stage infront of theatre full of people, including (presumably) famous people who you love and admire. Am I right? No Woody Allen types need apply here people.
-
Sep 22, 2005 8:47:13 AM CDT
I'm Starting To Look Forward To This Here SERENITY Thing...
by zombiesolutions
i recently saw those "viral marketing" spots featuring River and it got my interest up. i'm supposing you all know what i'm talking about? although i wasn't impressed with what I saw of Firefly, I hope the movie does well. Certainly it seems to have enough support from the fan community. but, of course, i'd far rather see more Buffy and Angel.
-
wow, on a site so racked with hyperbole, how lame does something have to be to get tagged as 'moderately cool'? this actually sounds like more fun than 'moderately cool.'
-
Whedonites will unobjectively love this flick, others will be annoyed.
-
Whedon's so damn full of himself and with the exception of Firefly the rest of his work is too sappy and sweet for me.
-
get off the bandwagon and realise you don't need to like Whedon to enjoy Serenity. I know dozens of people who hated Buffy and absolutely love Firefly. If your open-minded, you might actually find something new. Or you can be a moron and jump on the bandwagon of Whedon bashers and hate it without even seeing it.
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...and if she did, so what? She's cute and has a nice rack. The trailer for Serenity didn't exactly blow my skirt up but I hope it does well.
-
Here's my poem ---- Damn that bitch is hot/I'd like to put stuff where others may not/though Whedon is shit/through Firefly I'd sit/just to get a wee glimpse of her twat!
-
I think I've seen every episode and enjoyed pretty much all of them. I've seen a few Firefly's and liked them okay, but understood why it was cancelled (I don't quite get the hugely loyal fanbase however, since it wasn't THAT good). I just don't think this movie is going to appeal to the public, think they'll be turned off by it. But shit, I don't know for sure of course, and I wouldn't be disappointed at all if it was a hit (though I don't think I'll see it before dvd).
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In my opinion. Hopefully Whedon'll get someone else to choreograph the fights for 'Wonder Woman.' And hopefully whoever that is doesn't love wires.
-
An advanced screening IN New Zealand - what are the odds? But no River or Kaylee though, boo. As for the movie, I loved it to pieces - surpassed my expectations and cemented me as a Whedonite, despite having not watched all that much Buffy or Angel.
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i got pretty sick of kaylee after watch firefly, wonderfalls, and the last episode of the first season of dead like me, but that picture makes me what to beat it to her again sometime soon.
-
Here are my votes: Ching Siu-Tung (Duel to the Death, Swordsman series), Corey Yuen (So Close), and OH SHIT! Sammo Hung, the greatest star-director-kung fu master of them all, who made such bad-ass head-busting masterpieces as Eastern Condors (oh snap!), Prodigal Son (say what!) and Pedicab Driver (shut yo mouth!). I like me my Yuen Woo-Ping and all, but the boys above are far-and-beyond creators of way cooler action scenes. And yeah, the fight sequences in the trailers I've seen of Serenity have looked really lame. The show itself was slightly above-average AT BEST. I can't believe it has a big fan following...but I guess any genre show with soap opera style relationships (love triangles????) and possibility for fanfiction by 16 year old girls gains a big fan following. It looks like a terrible movie. But imagine if Sammo Hung was in it. Or Yuen Biao. Now that's something.
-
Sep 22, 2005 3:42:29 PM CDT
I must have missed something because I never noticed a love tria
by obredaan
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He'll never be welcome if he doesn't embrace us with more local events.
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I like Whedon, but I'm just tellin' it like it is. Watch the Angel ep "Apocylypse Nowish" for the best fight on T.V. to date.
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Sep 22, 2005 6:12:08 PM CDT
Harry, please change that Summer Glau photo. She is way hotter
by neo zeed
Don't play her dirty bro!
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I like Whedon, but I'm just tellin' it like it is. Watch the Angel ep "Apocylypse Nowish" for the best fight on T.V. to date.
-
But please change that Summer pic. Okay now I'm leaving.
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Jewel Staite has turned into a beautiful young woman. Definitely not the same Kaylee! Treat her with some respect now, boys.
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I also happen to think that Summer Glau is very pretty, but what's the point of changing the picture?
-
Sep 22, 2005 8:44:16 PM CDT
In a perfect world Kaylee and Zoe would be Jean Grey and Storm i
by shermdawg
Nuff said.
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if you don't like the shots, try these: http://www.livejournal.com/community/firefly_daily/26907.html
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Y'know, Lucas should ditch his Jedi Knight muppets, and do a Han Solo film ... and cast Nathan Fillion. After seeing him in Firefly (haven't seen Serenity yet), he was born for the role. Come on Lucas, give us a Han Solo film!
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Having seen the Firefly season (I loved it) I am looking to watch some Buffy (never seen a single ep). What's the best season? I'm sure some are better than others.
-
nice pix. More Morena please.
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and Nathan Fillion, sir, is no Han Solo. You have to be joking. I refuse to entertain the idea that you are not.
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He's bald, yet insists on having one of those tufty little hairstyles.
Don't live in denial man.
Also, make the ladies kiss each other. Yum! -
Or a flag - too small to see.
-
Sep 23, 2005 6:00:34 AM CDT
Buffy's legs would have snapped if she had kicked any harder
by scrumdiddly
That's the reason right there! She always looked so stupid when she did that fight pose, with her little stick arms...blah!
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I loved her ever since she was known as Becca on that one kids show. When I recently discovered "Firefly", I'm glad she was around, and they just showed one of her episodes of "Wonderfalls" last night. I wish I could be there Harry, I'm too far, shit. Bring them ladies up here to Columbus. In fact bing something cool here, just give me a fucking VIP reservation first.
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There is so much continuity in Buffy that you just have to watch them all, and to say it's worth your time is an understatement. (In fact, watching the whole cycle a second time, a few eps each week with friends, is my highest TV or movie priority.) The first 1 1/2 seasons are excellent, as good as anything you
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It involved Jayne
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Genuinely. Check it out.
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But that's just me thinking out loud. The character building, the story arcs, the pop culture sense of humour... It all works. Of course it helps he has some excellent and brilliant writers with him along the runs of his shows. Can't wait for Serenity!
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But it's hard to appreciate if you just start there, because a lot of what makes it good is understand the characters.
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Sep 23, 2005 9:07:25 AM CDT
For Me, BUFFY Is All About Season 2 and 3; After That ANGEL Take
by zombiesolutions
BUFFY 2 and 3 are the DVD collections i own. (although i should probably get the 1st as well), and i think they are probably the only ones i'll buy (unless i freak out and buy the Chosen collection). anyways, although there are still moments of greatness in seasons 4 thru 7 (HUSH, THE BODY, the final episode, and the arc of Spike's gradual transformation from resident jerk to part-time Buffy lover and champion are all stand outs); nevertheless you can really feel it running out of steam. and it's not because of Dawn, i didn't mind her character (even though she does wander into Connor territory. read: irritating). anyways, after season 3 it's pretty clear that ANGEL takes over and became the main priority for Whedon n' pals. consequently season 3 ends with Angel going off to the big city, so it's a nice transition. (btw, i'm starting to get excited about SERENITY as well, and i never got into FIREFLY. but, from what i'm reading it sounds like it's going ot be good... )
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I think that some of Buffy's fans (maybe Herc too *wink* *wink*) resented Angel because of that priority shift. I personally would have liked to see the quality stay on Buffy than spin-off. But hey gotta go where the quality go.
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But I dearly love Firefly, and I am hoping the film does well enough to make the trilogy. As for you haters, you know who you are... the ones who hate it because it says "Joss Whedon" in the credits... I had never even heard of Whedon before watching
Firely, and am certainly not going to run out and buy Buffy or Angel on DVD. Can't you just like a show because it has a great story, and even greater characters.. I do! And in reference to the pic of Jewel Staite... I'll be in my bunk!
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Ummm...besides for Wash, which males in "Firefly" are emasculated, again? Simon's a wallflower; I don't think they're technically the same thing. And besides for Zoe, what's so "grrrrl power" about the show? If River counts, I'd take about three and a half points off on account of her being crazier than a shithouse rat. And, it goes without saying, you're an asshole. But I'm sure you are aware of and relish that relationship between you and "Firefly" fans. I think in a way, what's more amusing (or it would be if it wasn't so damn annoying) than Whedon hypothetically explaining away the commercial failure of 'Serenity' is how people who despise Whedon and all who like anything he's involved with try to justify their obnoxious behavior. I'd be interested in hearing your story.
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I thought you got your computer taken away...? What's the deal?
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Sep 23, 2005 1:11:20 PM CDT
Fox cancelled Futurama, but Firefly gets its own movie!?
by derlanghaarige
Who was the guy who always complained about the cancellation of Firefly?
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First of all, making an animated movie and a live-action movie are two different things. I think a DTV (or [adult swim]) "Futurama" movie is actually being made, or at least discussed, but it takes longer to produce and there are probably more people tied up with other things. Also, you'll notice that 'Serenity' is being made by Universal and not Fox. ********** greatn: I don't know how you look at IPs, but that's interesting. If true, then I really want to know this guy's story. He takes the time to register a Browncoat "effigy," as it were, for himself to beat up on, and we're the fuckin' weirdoes? Okay.
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They both have blond girls who hit people, so yeah, they're exactly alike (sarcasm implied).
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500,000+ copies sold of the Firefly DVD set=Nobody watched!! OK there genius! I guarantee when the movie finishes behind Into the Blue, you will be the first to say "I told you SO! I'll rely on reviewers with credentials and not you. Most critics like the movie, so BO results have no meaning in terms of the quality of the movie.
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But okay. And we have a mystery here: did Dr. Douche create Tonay to try and make Whedon fans look bad, or did Tonay create Dr. Douche to try and make Whedon haters look bad? Sorry that "Firefly" doesn't have enough ballstomp for you (although I'm pretty sure there were at least 3 barfights during the show's ONE season, and Mal kicked some guy into a turbine. Maybe we could give you a DVD of those parts on a loop and you would change your mind about the show. ********* In the interests of not discriminating, to the people who think Nathan Fillion would make a good Han Solo: no, he wouldn't.
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and Jaime Pressley is The Powers that Be-yatch!
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True, but Joss Whedon, like Carson Daly, did not invent Karma.
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Sep 23, 2005 3:01:37 PM CDT
"Carson Daly? What is he like a spiritual leader or something?"
by zombiesolutions
Earl is great! and so is Buffy! long live Buffy and Earl! yay! it's possible to like more than one thing! it really, really is! woo hoo!
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wow, Tonay, you really over-identify with this show. i love BUFFY too, and that scene was shocking, but... c'mon now... to quote Corporal Hicks, "you've blown the trans-axel! your just grinding metal... ease down... ease down... ease down..." good.
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and man does that dude have an ego.
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Sep 23, 2005 3:57:26 PM CDT
Perhaps We Should All Be Playing SIX DEGREES OF BUFFY THE VAMPIR
by zombiesolutions
hey, that's actually not a bad idea for a drinking game. a geeky drinking game.
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Sarah michelle gellar was in Cruel Intentions with Ryan Phillippe, who was in Crash with Thandi Newton, who was in Mission Impossible:2 with Tom Cruise, who was in A Few Good Men, with... KEVIN BACON! ...
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Buffy Season 6 is a masterpiece of film-making. No. Lawrence of Arabia is a masterpiece of film-making. 2001 : A Space Odyssey is a masterpiece of film-making. The Godfather is a masterpiece of film-making. Buffy is a piece of shit served up for teens and kids and is a way average US show. Get a grip. If comments like yours were read by a passig alien species Earth would be annihilated in a second. And I still haven't forgiven Whedon for the piece of shit that was Alien Resurrecton.
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Ooops Tonaythe Great is applying for university. I understand his comments now. Go and reeducate yourself by watching some real masterpieces of film-making.
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was in Footloose with Sarah Jessica Parker, who was in Honeymoon in Vegas with Nicolas Cage, who was in Valley Girl with Elizabeth Daly, who was in Pee Wee's Big Adventure with Paul Reubens, who was in the original "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
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You know you want to.
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was on BTVS with Alyson Hannigan, who was in American Pie with Tara Reid, who was in Van wilder with Ryan Reynolds, who was on Two Guys & a Girl with Nathan Fillion, who was on Buffy with SMG...
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I'd bend her over.
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The notion that Angel became the "priority" (and presumably the better show) once it was spun off is just wack. We're watching them according to original air date and the gap between them in terms of the quality of the writing and the depth of the characters and their relationships is immense. Angel is excellent TV, wholly rewarding, often gripping, but virtually never rises to Buffy's baseline level. You don't feel compelled to watch Angel over and over again, to talk through the themes and character motivations with friends. ........... As far as season 6 of Buffy, the haters (who are reacting to the darkness of the content rather than the quality of the show) love to focus on the one or two things that were less than great about the season, as if that were all that mattered. Sure, the magic = drugs metaphor was less than rigorous and didn't always quite work right. It also constituted a small fraction of what season 6 was about.
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Sold out allready! man, I hope i can get a seat from the request, I didnt get one due to my poeticalness.
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plus, the sometimes long gaps (6 weeks or more) between new episodes made it drag on even longer. I got that the so-called "Big Bad" for the season was the gang's inner demons. But seeing as how the show from the start used vampires and demons as a metaphor for inner struggles (high school sucks, first love gone wrong, etc) I found this to be redundant.
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The magic addiction storyline was laughable. Waaaay too literal. If you haven't seen it it's more bad than you can imagine. Spike/Buffy's rape scene was tacked on and in poor taste. The villians were non-threatening. The anti-male sentiment was aggravating. The mythology of the show was falling apart. Marti Noxon sucks. Why do some Whedon fans defend this season as if Whedon can do no wrong? I can't stand apologists. The last season of X-files was trash, but overall the show was still decent. So get a grip.
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Please. Omar would fuck that bitch straight up.
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Ripley made out with a alien, then everything went to shit. God I hated that retarded Pumpkinhead alien/human hybrid thingamajig. Also what pissed me off about the flick was that the crew was pretty damn cool, almost cool enough to have there own flick, but no, of course they bit the dust. Even the chick with the killer ass *sigh*. Oh, and on the subject of Firefly, I was one of the viewers that tuned in and then tuned out in it's initial run, I also skipped the dvd release, but I've been catching up with them on SciFi. I gotta say The first five or so episodes were soso. I outright hated the episode where there at that ball, snoozeworthy. And the episode with the Jayne song was a bit embarrasing. But, the following two episodes were unfreakinbelievable! The episode where the Mal stays behind on the crippled ship, while its running out of air, one of the best science fiction shows I've ever seen, awesome. And the one that aired earlier tonight, involving the hospital breakin, was also pretty damn good. Those two episodes prove the show was canned while it was just getting good. Can't wait for the flick next week. I just hope Farscape will one day get a flick like this show did.
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Anyone who can complain that the villains in season 6 were "non-threatening," in light of what they managed to accomplish in the way of evil (and the tool they used), might as well have "I Missed the Point Entirely" tattooed on their forehead. People who dislike season 6 are exactly like audiophiles who insisted that LPs sounded better than CDs because the former possessed an extraordinarily subtle sense of extra space that the latter lacked
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but this crap counts as poetry?
I love you Jayne. Poop on a kid for me.
and this?
Dear Jayne,
You pull my trigger.
Love, Vera
FIX! -
I finally looked up Whedon on IMDB and saw his photos. He is a fat, balding geek who most likely bangs hot chicks. Now I understand why so many fanboys love him! Seriously, though, he truly blows. It's going to be hilarious when this movie tanks and all the whedonites start posting ridiculousness touting this movie as a "masterpiece". Don't you find it odd that this movie's release date is a black hole and there are no reviews in yet? I smell a winner. Whedon is terrible and hopefully after Serenity and Wonder Woman tank he'll be banished to the Sci-Fi channel forever. Muhahahahahha. Game on you oblivious fanboys, game one.
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and Joss Whedon should get a hotel together so they can finger each other's b-holes while they try to figure out who's dialogue is "snappier". "Oh my god David you are SOOOOOO witty. No you're definitely wittierer, Joss. You're right David, I am soooo goddamn witty. Quick, let's talk faster and more unrealistic so this conversation gets wittierer."
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That's all. Carry on, sheep, carry on.
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In what alternate fucking reality is Sopranos (the best show ever on television) a copy of Buffy the fucking Vampire Slayer? For the love of christ! Sports Night came out a year after Buffy and was developed before that. Aaron Sorkin wrote A Few Good Men a full five years before Buffy. Dawson's Creek, was a year after Buffy and also developed before it had ANY impact. If anything, most modern dramas have been shaped by the fast paced dialogue and directorial style of E.R. you fucknut. Wait, I'm rereading more Tonay posts now and get that it's satire. Fuck it, I'm posting anyway.
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Sep 24, 2005 3:14:08 AM CDT
So Warren killed Tara, so what? That girl was destined to die
by neo zeed
Her death was telegraphed a mile away. Joss even said that a scooby member was gonna die that season. She wasn't even on the opening credits. All of that needless snuggling while Warren was buying the gun. Tara might of well of said she was, "2 days away from retirement." A red shirt from Star Trek had more of a chance than that girl. That whole season was so wannabe deep. Life is the big bad Oh give me a fucking break. Like the show before was any freaking walk in the park. Doesn't change the fact that the nerd trio were a bunch of bumbling idiots before and after the shot fired. I get that they were wannabe villians, but the joke got real freaking annoying. Just cause they sneak attacked Tara doesn't mean they had much defense before and after the attack. They were pussies. Watching these dudes get their ass handed to them every week was irratating.
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Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart -
Sep 24, 2005 8:26:53 AM CDT
Say goodbye to Tonay - I believe he is about to be banned, again
by big jim
Holy crap, you truly are a vile creature. I would have called you a vile human being, but I don't think you qualify. What is this, the 10th time you have been banned? Good riddance to you and all your abnormal personalities.
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*...lines up behind Big Jim to kick Tonay in the arse on his way out...* ...Good bye you poor excuse for a mentally deformed nutjob. Good luck with the pychosis!
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lol what a sicko
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Sep 24, 2005 10:47:41 AM CDT
Tonay Is A Sick, Psychopathic, Racist Pig And Should Be Banned
by zombiesolutions
not much more to say than that. Harry? Doc? Anyone? get this nazi rapist pig out of here. please?
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...do all your previous posts get deleted? Because I was looking forward to some uneducated un-pc spewings from Tonay, and instead all I got was...nothing. His message headings were still on the page though.
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Someone must have it somewhere...and is willing to post it without getting their account banned too. And as far as Whedon goes, I agree completely with zombie- season 2 and 3 of Buffy is where the sweet goodness lies, Angel matched and bettered everything that came after that. Season 6 was bullshit incidentally, maybe Joss had a grandfather who was a morphine addict or something and just wanted to relive his childhood memories of Ol' Jack Whedon saying: "Child, go find some poppies. Child, poppies for your grandpapa. Once you've got those poppies little boy read this book on morphine-conversion. That's my good little Joss, yes, just as obedient as your dad was" and season 7 was so unmemorable I don't have anything to say about it. Buffy was amazing in its prime though, and I still check out the red and green box-sets occasionally. Zeppo being the best episode of all.
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Joss said that the movie that was finally released looked nothing like how he wrote it , and Firefly will end up being a money maker...hell if a season series of the show on DVD has sold 500,000 to a million copies then how do you think the movie , which will be half the price will sell?Add in world wide box office and tv rights and you don't think that movie will be profitable?
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Sep 25, 2005 10:57:56 AM CDT
"I posted it at Aint It Cool News and it created a furore."
by seppukudkurosawa
Tonay's slowly taking up the internet with that shit, registering on forum to forum until he's been banned from every one. I gotta admit, that poem was worth reading..... Thanks a lot for the link MikeTee!!
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Sep 25, 2005 11:49:54 AM CDT
"Child, go find some poppies. Child, poppies for your grandpapa.
by zombiesolutions
creepy! in my minds ear, i'm hearing the voice of that old child molester character from Family Guy. you know the one i mean right? the one with real high-pitched voice? *shudders*
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Sep 26, 2005 3:04:18 AM CDT
ZomSol, would you perhaps mean; "Hello there paperboy, would you
by tonywilson
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Hang with Buffy until Season 5, which has The Body ( superb episode ) & one of the best series final episodes ever, with a killer opening recapping five years of what Buffy's been through. ( Yes, there were two more years of Buffy after that, but they always had a tacked on feel to them and despite some standout eps, you might find them slightly lacking...or you might not. You decide. at the least, it was the finale of Buffy on that network). I felt that the final episode of Season Five should have been where the story ended...it was correct - it felt right.
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I may have it wrong, but I don't think it is before the episode on the DVD. It's too bad because it is a great quick recap of the first 99 episodes.
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As ran, the "killer recap" came after Giles' "previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer" traditional opening. Crom knows where it is on DVD, but it should be where it belongs.
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